Demo Reviews Vol. 69 (now accepting Submissions!)

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Whattup everyone…It’s the moment all the self loathers have been waiting for! I’m opening up the flood gates once again for demo submissions. If you have a song you’d like me to review, now is your time to both shine and possibly get shit on as well. However, before you just submit me something. There are rules. PLEASE READ THESE CLOSELY BEFORE SUBMITTING ANYTHING TO ME. They are crucial to your demo even making it to the review process.
1)The header on the email must say “Demo review”
2)If you’ve already submitted, DO NOT submit again. You had your fun now it’s other people’s turn. This includes producers working with new rappers.
3)Send me ONE SONG. Pick your song that is your favorite or the one that best exemplifies your music and shoot it over here. I’m not going to listen to your whole ep.
4)This time around, I’ll only be accepting songs that can be heard via a link. So, no loose mp3′s or myspace pages. I want soundcloud, bandcamp or you can even upload it to an upload site (like divshare.com, hulkshare ect…) that allows the songs to stream. Basically, the streaming part is crucial. If this is something you cannot do, you probably shouldn’t be sending me music in the first place. I also accept youtube video links but, seriously, how you gonna have that be your only form of streaming music online. Soundcloud is free. just sign up and put a song up there.
5)Demo MUST contain original production. I don’t want mixtapes of you rapping over other peoples tracks. I want actual songs. About once a week, I review something only to find out it’s some rare madlib track the person jacked. If you send me something, I want it to 100% be made by you. Sampling is sampling but taking another person finished rap beat and calling it your own is not okay.
6)budding producers: don’t just send me some random beat you made. I want a finished product. If your shit is called “Untitled beat” I will throw it right in the trash. If you made a beat but it’s just drums and a loop, i don’t want it. i want something you’d consider a song that can stand on it’s own. A rap beat with a subtle change does not a song make.

That’s about it for the rules. But there’s more…You must also accept that I will be reviewing your music honestly. I don’t know you. You aren’t my homeboy. I may write some shit you don’t wanna hear/accept. Just know it’s possible you will not be happy with the review. Butthurt responses will be clowned on properly. Trust me, I’m as familiar with internet criticism as any person who makes music for a living. It sucks but it’s part of the deal. After all, you’re sending me your music so I can review it. what else do you expect? By submitting, you’re pretty much agreeing to possibly being let down.
It should also be noted that , genre wise, I’m a rap guy. I like rap music. This can work both for and against you people sending me rap as I will be highly critical of it but there’s also a chance I might actually like it. If it were up to me, I’d ONLY review rap demos. Where as with other genres (particularly instrumental music and electronic type shit) I don’t really listen to that kinda stuff. Feel free to send it but just know my ceiling of enjoyment for that kind of music is typically pretty low. Ironic, I know…but it’s the reality of things.

Got it? good.
So, send away to my email
phatfriendblog@gmail.com.
I’m gonna keep the submission progress open for about a week so you have ample time to get your shit together.
Good luck and godspeed.

All that said, here’s this weeks batch.
Don’t forget to vote for your favorite at the bottom.

Artist: Mr Ramos
Song: World’s Honey


This is pretty interesting. It’s not every day you hear digeredoo utilized. I like the vibe and the girl is a solid enough singer (not exactly showing much range) but the song doesn’t really go anywhere. It’s the same thing the whole time. I’m assuming it’s some sort of Hari Krishna prayer type shit though so maybe they don’t believe in hooks.
Production wise, it isn’t exactly amazing but it fits the song nicely.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:5.5 out of 10

Artist:Mic Trill
Song:Mr. Tidor


I wanna just say that I hate those ominous bells people keep putting on their songs. It’s been happening since Tupac and I hated it back then too. Just a random thought….
This is one of those beats that’s totally fine but not my thing at all. It’s dark! It’s ominous! Bells!
People love this kinda shit though so what do I know.
The rapper is okay. His voice doesn’t really match the kind of production but I’m not mad at him. He definitely sounds like he’s lacking a hair of confidence. That can be fixed easily though with a little time.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: Louis Mackey and Thirtyseven
song: Can’t seem to make you mine


This beat is very dope. Simple but effective. Dope loops, subtle changes and solid drums. It’s not exactly very creative but it’s well done for sure.
The rapping is solid too. There’s nothing particularly special about either of the rappers but they’re both skilled and very comfortable on the mic. This whole thing kinda reminds me of some early 2000’s indie shit.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:5.5 out of 10
Listenability:6 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10

Artist: George Peterson
Song: Fresh Eggs Ft. Professor Plum


Wow. Hahahahaa…the rapping in this amazing. It’s like uncomfortable weird Al or telly from “Kids” but nerdier. I’m trying to figure out what’s going on here. It’s incredible. It sounds like it was recorded in three different rooms.
This is the kinda thing that, if my friends and I happened upon in 2000, we’d listen to it over and over , at first to make fun of it but, eventually, we’d all be obsessed with it and it would be the source of endless inside jokes. It’s awful but in a fantastic way.
Production:3 out of 10
Vocals:2 out of 10
Listenability:9 out of 10
Originality:3.5 out of 10

Artist: Reklooze witherspoons
song: The early showings of a vedic mindstate


THis is some stoned out jazzy shit. I think it’s a little boring but it’s well done and definitely could fit all sorts of moods. Most of which consists of being way too high while on a couch. I’m not mad at it. It feels like it needs more elements to really work as a song but all the parts are nicely meshed together. It’s WAY too long though.
Sode note: I hate the song title, and I didn’t even bother typing out the whole thing. Who are you, bro? Fiona Apple?
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:N/A
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist:SoCro
Song: Goodbye


This is an interesting blending of different styles that doesn’t really work for me. Trappy drums, yell singing, then drake-ish sing rapping. It seems like it’s trying to do a lot of things at once without committing to anything. It’s not poorly made. In fact, it’s actually really well produced. The vocalist doesn’t do anything for me and the hook sounds like something Eminem would do that might end up on a commercial for the army.
I appreciate what the dude is attempting though.
Production:6.5 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: MC Stan
Song: Animal House


I’m am staunchly anti-Green day quoting in rap but I’ll let it slide. The rapper is good. He hits some corny moments here and there but , overall, he sounds good. Definitely way more comfortable with a double time flow cause, sometimes, when he slows it down, the flow loosens up a little too much.
The beat is just kinda there. I honestly can’t even really hear whats going on.
Production:4 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Company
Song: Kako je Tamo?


This is a mellow , slow burn of a track. I like it. It’s well made and well recorded. It’s very tasteful. I don’t love when people use too many vocal samples (talking, not singing) but that’s really my only complaint. Definitely a “driving home at 5 am” kinda song. i assume…I don’t drive.
Production:7 out of 10
Vocals:n/a
Listenability:7 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

So, what do you think?

Yay or Nay: VicTree

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Chicago might be one of the most versatile cities on earth , in terms of rap music. From conscious rap to pimp shit to a rich battle rapper history to drill music , it’s pretty much has all the bases covered.
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know I’m a big fan of Tree. He’s a rapper/producer who’s been dropping quality music for a few years now. He is the creator of “Soul trap” which is pretty much soul samples infused with trap style drums. I’m a big fan cause he does it with simplicity and good taste. No crazy synthed out breakdowns, not masturbatory drum fills. Just solid samples with head nod beats under them.
His most recent project is a collaborative effort with fellow Chicago mc Vic Spencer. Spencer who , as a rapper, actually reminds me of Tree a little. They both have a growl to them. HE’s kinda like a mix between Tree and Khudjo from the Goodie Mobb. Whatever he is, I’m into it. Tree handles all the beats and Vic handles the rhymes. It’s a solid EP, in my opinion, but I’m curious what you guys think of it. Check it out… (I’d skip the first song, cause it’s an intro and not a good “First impression” of what’s really going on with the rest of the album)

So, what do you think?

Oh really, Uberfacts? Vol. 4

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Uberfacts is a twitter profile that vomits up “facts” all day. sometimes enlightening, sometimes moronic, there is no filter on what they post. So, every now and then I like to shine a spotlight on some of my favorite ones and discuss them. For better or for worse. So, what’s up #uberfacts? Learn me!

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First off, what? In classic Uberfacts fashion they pull a “fact” out that could not possibly be proven. What did they do? Go to fucking Ireland and notice everyone was have sex? So, while I deem this study to be total bullshit I see what they’re doing here. Yes, it’s all part of the ginger propaganda machine. For years, gingers have been the focus of ridicule and scoffed at as sexual beings but , now, it is there time to take back the night (cause they shouldn’t be in the sun during the day, obviously).
I don’t know if you’ve noticed but there has been a shift in opinion worldwide about redheads. Now, to be fair, there have always been attractive redheads. Jessica rabbit, Molly Ringwald, that guy from that thing. It’s crazy to say there hasn’t been. But in the last few years I’ve noticed gingers not only gain more acceptance but actually become hot commodities. From Ron Howard to his hot daughter. That’s the transition.
These trends of physical traits have been going on for a while. Remember when girls having really short hair got very popular? Or how bout when being an extremely skinny man was the way to be? What about the whole “beard” thing that’s going on? Or how popular fat asses are? It’s as if the world decides “this is what’s gonna be big right now…”. Well, the ginger illuminate got their wish cause I’ll be damned if I haven’t heard an abundance of men and women comment on how hot gingers are lately.
It’s funny cause just a few years ago, they were looked as mostly hyper pale, dead behind the eyes freckle monsters, devoid of souls (Anyone who saw the South park episode knows what I’m talking about) but now? That alabaster skin spackled with dashes of melanin is what’s popping. Who knew?
Anyway, I’m sure it sounds like I’m bashing them but I’m really not. Hot people are hot. Redhead or whatever. I’ll just start to worry when girls start wanting to fuck Alfred E. Neuman looking ass dudes simply cause their hair is red. That will be worse that the chinless beard dudes getting primo vagina cause they were smart enough to cover up their awful faces with hair.

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I’m not posting this to deny it. In fact, I don’t doubt that’s actually pretty tame for what Japan offers, in terms of bizarre candy. I really just wanna discuss how weird some japanese shit is to us americans and wonder “Do they feel the same way about us?”.
Like, when japanese people come to the states and see sour cream and onion chips, are they like “WTF??!?!!?”. When they watch our gameshows, do they scratch their head at how simple and boring they are? When they see our porn, are they like “First off, eww…you can see the penetration but secondly, where are all the squids? What is this amateur hour shit!?”
It’s amazing how far two cultures can be from each other yet still garner obsession from both sides. For instance, it doesn’t shock me to me that japanese people see hip hop and turn it into this crazy things where they grow dreads and dye their skin. That’s teenaged rebellion I think everyone can relate to. Sure, they go that extra mile but it makes sense. Same way some americans will get deep into Anime and basically become japanese teenagers.
As much crazy shit goes on in japan (I mean, they have used panties vending machines there, for christ sake), the culture of junk food has always fascinated me. Every culture has their own thing. But, in most cases, it translates in some way. I mean, shit, we’re dealing with sugar here. how weird can it get? Apparently, very weird. Soy sauce and chocolate. It just doesn’t make sense. so part of me believes that no one actually eats and enjoys these treats. They exist simply to exist. It’s not that different from artisanal ice cream makers who try and pull off flavors that have no business existing. “Hey penelope, you really must try this blue cheese , waffles and vegemite ice cream I made!” It’s like japanese but a million times more pretentious.
i guess what I’m trying to say here is that all cultures have their weird ideas. We’re all the same, guys! just kidding. We are nothing alike. But, that’s okay.

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Say word?
I’ve seen many caterpillars in my life and I have yet to see one shoot it’s shit in the air. Are these caterpillars like the “squirters” of the caterpillar community? There has to be slow motion super close up footage of this somewhere. National geographic should be all over it. Please, dear reader, find me a clip and post it in the comments. I need to witness this. Otherwise, it just sounds like something a guy at uberfacts made up. If that is the case, I’m not even mad at it. Making up facts for random creatures is kinda genius. Like, did you know that when an Ocelot is frightened it gives it’s predator a case of pink eye using only mind power? It’s crazy, right. #uberfact.
Did you know that when a female flamingo is aroused, it’s labia lips rub together like cricket legs but somehow create a sound that sounds strikingly familiar to the Miami Vice theme song? It’s true. #Uberfacts
It’s a little know fact that, when they are born, turtles have the innate sense of understanding human sign language but, as they age, they forget it. #uberfacts
Emotionally, there is not an otter alive who isn’t at least slighty bi-polar. #uberfacts

I could do this for days. In fact, it makes me want to create a fake uberfacts account just to do it. But, alas, I’m lazy and who cares? instead, I’mma go into a youtube wormhole and not leave until I see caterpillar shit shooting through the sky like the worlds grossest fireworks.

Answers for Questions Vol. 245

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Hi there and welcome to a new edition of “Answers for Questions”! You sent me your questions and I did the natural response to that. If you’d like to ask me anything, email me questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com OR simply leave them in the comment section below. Be creative. Be weird. Just don’t be basic. I’ve been doing these Q and A’s for years now so I’ve got the simple shit covered.
Anyway, let’s see what we got this week…

If you could produce one of those Viagra commercials with all rappers, who would you choose?

Would they rap in it or act in the commercial? Either way, if it’s viagra, we’re talking old rappers. I think what I might do is get all the pioneer dudes. Like the Pre-Run DMC era guys. Having Grandmaster Kaz and cold crush rap about their broken dicks would be pretty amazing.

Do you ever meet people at your shows that are clearly on drugs? If so, is it interesting to talk to them or does it get annoying?
ummm…yeah dude. every show I’ve ever done. Molly heads, acid, coke, weed, Special K, and whatever else you can think of.
Honestly, the drunk people are the worst to deal with of all cause they’re aggressive and stupid. But talking to anyone who’s totally fucked up on something while you are not fucked up is generally tolerable for a minute but then extremely annoying. It loses it’s amusement quick when you realize this person isn’t going to leave you alone and they’re not making any sense.
Can’t say I’ve ever spoken to a person who was high as fuck at one of my shows and left the convo enlightened. That simply never happens. High people are only interesting if you’re high too.

If you could choose between having the Eraserhead baby as a child or Roseanne Barr as your girlfriend who you must have sex with at least once a day for the rest of her life, which would you do?

I’mma go with the Eraserhead baby. That would be rough but at least, life would go on. Having to be married to and have sex with Roseannne would not work for me on any level and it’s a lifetime contract? Fuuuuuuuuckkkk that. An eraserhead baby can still live a happy and productive life.

Do questions regarding existence ever trouble you? Why are we here? Can we ever know the true nature of anything? Does anything have meaning? Why do anything at all? Should we ignore these questions because it’s unsettling to think about them or should we all pause, whatever it is we’re doing, and figure this out before moving forward?

I don’t bother myself with questions like that cause there will never be definitive answer. I could sit around all day and ponder but, when that day would be over, I’d be exactly where I started. It just seems pointless.
Does anything have meaning? Sure. Every persons life has meaning…to them. But on a larger scale, I don’t doubt that anything we do really matters. This planet could be a dry and lifeless husk in the next 500 years for all we know. I’d rather just live my life then waste time trying to solve a riddle with no answer.

What according to you is the role of an artist? Also, does an artist need to define themselves by a certain set of values and principles, or should they simply be themselves and not worry about how they are perceived?

The only role an artist has is to create their art. Everything else secondary.
As for how they define themselves, that’s up to them. Some artist relish in being able to title what they do. Others don’t even think about and think labels are pointless. I lean towards the latter.
Personally, I think artists should just do what they do and not worry about things outside of their process. While this isn’t the healthiest way to make a career/money , it’s best for the art itself.

Have you ever had public sex?
I’ve hooked up in cars before. Gotten head in a bathroom. But, like out in the open sex?
Only time I ever did that was one a beach when I was pretty young. It’s wasn’t so much romantic as it was the only place two teenagers could go to be able to have sex. It was….sandy.

Would you rather kiss a dog or a cat on the mouth? (sorry)

First off, fuck you.
Secondly, a dog. I only say this cause I’m much less allergic to dogs than I am cats. That said, I’m not putting my mouth anywhere near a dogs mouth. I’m not that guy. That’s some truly white dude shit that I don’t subscribe to. Like people who kiss their parents dead on the mouth when they greet them. What the fuck is wrong with you?

So through instagram I found a picture you liked of a posse cut (Meditation) by somebody named Jak Progresso. I looked him up and bought his album Random Violence within ten minutes of listening to it. Later I realized you had produced the beat for the song, which I guess is how you know him. Can you shed any more light on this guy? How did you meet him? He seems like the most underground rapper ever and freestyles while he is peaking on acid. And he raps about killing women in almost every song. Never heard anyone like him before.
I met Jak a long time ago through Lodeck. He was in the Johnny 23 Crew. I used to go to the bronx and record songs with some of those guys in early 2000’s. I don’t think I ever worked on a solo song with Jak but he was definitely on a few tracks I made. He’s crazy. I mean, his rapping. First time I heard him I didn’t really know what to think. He rapped in a very underground way but , topically, he was on some Necro shit…but different. He rapped from the perspective of a literal serial killer. While Necro was more of a pimp/drug dealer , Jak was a dude talking about hiding in someones crawl space for a week and then murdering them. He did it in a really interesting and funny way though. The only album of his I ever got into heavily was Random Violence but it’s got some amazing songs on it.
I haven’t seen him in forever but I think he does some battles now. Not sure if he’s still on the same tip, but he’s a super creative and weird guy so I could see that actually really working on the battle circuit.
Here are few moments of his I always fucked with pretty heavy



Fuck/Marry/Kill Vol. 45

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Well, here we are once again. Alone, at last. Time for another edition of “Fuck/marry/kill”. It is exactly what you think it is. That game frat dudes play. Yup. Just a little more in depth. As always, I feel obligated to say this is just for shits and giggles so please don’t take it seriously. The only reason I don’t do male options is cause I want to not fuck them all equally.
Anyway, if you have some funny ideas for F/M/K options, leave them in the comment section. Get creative cause I’ve been doing this column for years.
Okay…let’s see what we got this week.

FMK- Full House edition: Olsen Twins, Jodie Sweetin, Candace Cameron

Fuck: Candace Cameron
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This is really one of the hardest choices I’ve ever had to hypothetically make. Really, there’s an argument to be made for fucking, marrying or killing all three of these choices. On one hand, as lame as it would be, a threesome with the olsen twins would be something I could write a best selling book about. Jodie Sweetin was/is a drug addled mess but, that could bode well for the sex. Candace Cameron is the most attractive of the bunch but also on some christian shit so…you know…that could be an issue.
But, when it comes down to it, i think my attraction to Candace Cameron and acceptance that it would be some bible thumping sex out weighs my desire to kiss a girl with meth mouth or see either of the Olsen twins naked. I realize this is a cop out but I’m a simple man and bad sex is more appealing to me than the other choices.

Marry: The Olsen twins
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For one thing, there’s two of them. Sure they look like Michael jackson at this point and I’m not on some polygamy shit but that would immediately keep things interesting. Variety and stuff. Secondly, they are the richest people on earth. yes, it’s shallow. I know this…but I don’t wanna marry any of these assholes (I’m sure the feeling is mutual) so marrying two rich girls is the most appealing option. This could easily backfire and leave me in house (actually a mansion,though) with two people I loath , who loath me back cause I’m stinking up one of their million dollar couches all day watching netflix in my underwear. But, you know what, that can happen in any marriage. The only difference is the price of the couch.

Kill: Jodie Sweetin
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The thing about Jodie is that you don’t know what you’re getting. She could be a fun druggie or she could be the type who stabs you in your sleep. I really don’t know. That risk is enough to make me opt out of putting a ring on her finger. I don’t enjoy “crazy” as a rule. So, you know, maybe I’d be doing her a favor. He life seems like a huge bummer anyway. It would kinda be a mercy killing.

F/M/K Cargo pants, church slacks, super long jean shorts

Kill: Super long jean shorts (JORTS)
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You know, if you asked me this question 20 years ago, Jorts woulda been my wife. But, sadly, those days have passed and Kevin Smith is the only dude still rocking these things. As corny as the other options are, there is no way to pull off jorts in 2015. It’s like a blaring siren screaming “DO NOT FUCK ME OR RESPECT ME”. These things need to be put to rest in real life and in the made up world where I have to choice to fuck/marry/kill things/people.

Marry: Cargo Pants
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As bad as cargo pants are, they’re at least comfortable. Also, styles exist that aren’t the absolute worst. Army Navy stores have kinds that don’t make me wince. Also, they’re the uniform of dads who have thrown the towel in. What better pants to marry? They’re like a step down from sweat pants but you can actually wear them to a restaurant and not feel like a hillbilly. Granted, putting them on basically deems you a eunuch but I’m married to them so who cares?

Fuck: Church pants
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I can’t lie…this is kinda by default but, at the same time, some baggy ass , steve harvey looking church pants would be hilarious to wear once. Like, imagine rocking them with no shame to a place where hipsters are? It would blow their fucking minds. I wouldn’t be shocked that, one day, church pants are the ironic hipsters go-to outfit. What’s more far from the norm than a bearded white asshole with tatts wearing “who framed roger rabbit?” pants and a band t-shirt at the same time? Mark my words…this will one day be a thing.

F/M/K (Orange is the new black Edition) Kimiko Glenn, Diane Guerrero, Ruby Rose

Marry: Ruby Rose
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Here’s the thing. She is beautiful. Like scary hot. Also, she’s a lesbian. So, here we come to a crossroad. Not to go off course here but I’m not a huge fan of marriage in general. Not that I think it people shouldn’t do it I just don’t know how I feel about it personally. So, when playing F/M/K and given the option of marrying a lesbian, I’m kinda into it. Why? Cause it turns into me just living with a roommate and living my life however I see fit. That’s kinda cool to me. Not to mention, I get along great with most lesbians I’ve met and partying with Ruby Rose would be fun. No jealousy. No “Where were you last night?!?”. Simply “G’day mate!” then carry on my day. The bonus of getting to look at her all day doesn’t hurt either.

Fuck: Diane Guerrero
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This is just playing into my wheelhouse right here. Hot , short latina girl? Forget about it. The only reason I don’t marry her is cause of the golden “Always marry the lesbian” rule I’ve instituted for “Fuck/marry/Kill”. But, I’m a big fan of this one and would probably be angling for more than one Eff sesh…I’m assuming my wife, Ruby Rose, would be cool with that…cause she’s the best. I LOVE MY WIFE!

Kill: Kimiko Glenn

21st Annual SAG Awards at the Shrine Auditorium - Arrivals Featuring: Kimiko Glenn Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 25 Jan 2015 Credit: Brian To/WENN.com

21st Annual SAG Awards at the Shrine Auditorium – Arrivals
Featuring: Kimiko Glenn
Where: Los Angeles, California, United States
When: 25 Jan 2015
Credit: Brian To/WENN.com


I got nothing against her. On the show, she’s kinda plain and annoying. Then, one episode, they showed her tits and I was like “oh daamnnnnnn”. Still, she’s not a really exciting choice. She’s certainly a pretty girl and , like i mentioned, the tits are well documented. I mean, in real life, she’s the type of girl who would probably roll her eyes at me for asking her if she’s in line for the bathroom and possibly vomit at the idea of making out with me but this isn’t real life soooooooo…
Swing swing swing, and chop chop chop.

F/M/K:Duane Reade, 7-11, Starbucks

Kill: 7-11
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This is new york-centric but fuck a 7-11. We don’t need them here and they’re basically just bringing the burbs to the city. I don’t take stands on much. I simply don’t care that deeply about most things but I boycott 7-11’s in NYC like they were hanging confederate flags in the window. Thing is, they’re unnecessary here. We have 24 hour bodegas and korean markets on every other corner. It’s one of the things that makes this city what it is. If you’re a person who was psyched to see a 7-11 open up in NYC, recognize you should probably move cause you’re making the city into the cornball factory it has become.

Fuck: Starbucks
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I don’t drink coffee so Starbucks doesn’t do much for me. That said, I have been known to stuff my face with sweets and I can’t front on da ‘bucks. When I’m in an airport at 8 am and craving an iced lemon pound cake (which is always), I know where to go. When I’m walking home from dinner and desire a cake pop, Starbucks is there in a pinch. I mean, granted, I could go my entire life without ever stepping foot in one and nothing would change but it is nice to know the option exists. So, lemme put my dick in that

Marry: Duane Reade
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Of these three places, I’m up in Duane Reade the most. it’s a drug store, it’s a supermarket, it’s where I can buy bulk cadbury eggs around easter. What’s not to like? Also, it’s an NYC institution. So, by marrying it, I’d feel like I was joining with something special. Only downside of Duane Reade is that the people who work there tend to be slightly less polite than people who work at the DMV but, whatever…it would just add spice to your union.

New Vince Staples album Streaming…and it’s pretty fucking good.

vince-staples-background
Vince Staples is a lot of peoples favorite rapper right now and that makes all the sense in the world. The L.A. born and bred Odd Future affiliate has been on a tear the last few years. Putting out quality mix tapes and an EP.
His new album “Summertime 06″ is dropping soon and the good people at NPR (where hip hop lives) are streaming the album in it’s entirety. I’m not gonna lie and say I’ve been listening to it all day (it’s streaming, therefor kinda annoying to listen to casually) but I went through it and it’s sounding really great. Can’t wait to get my hands on a real copy.
Anyway, peep it…good rap music does still exist, you pricks.
http://www.npr.org/2015/06/21/414701194/first-listen-vince-staples-summertime-06

Answers for Questions vol. 244

chico
Whattup y’all. Welcome to this weeks edition of Answers for Questions. You asked so I answered. I’m good like that. If you’d like to ask me anything, this is your chance. Get silly with it. Either email me the questions at phatfriendblog@gmail.com
or leave them in the comment section of this very post! Have fun with it and don’t be boring!
This weeks collection is a nice variety of subject. Dig in and enjoy!

As an older hip-hop enthusiast i find it harder to find more music i’m into since most of the sites i went to for new music are shutting down. I was wondering if you could steer me towards some blogs or sites that cater to more indie hip-hop, not like hiphopdx or anything. I usually come across things on my own but would never of found Spark master tape if it wasn’t for your blog. So I was wondering what your go to sites are, or if you had any interest in doing something to point out more artists your blog besides yay or nay?
Honestly, it’s not easy. I find out about new artists a few ways.
The most common one is word of mouth. Someone I know and trust will email me something and I’ll check it out. The second way is through this site philaflava.com. They have a message board I’ve been frequenting for a while and some of the people there are fairly on point so they have put me on to all sorts of stuff. In general, they’re usually a few months ahead of the curve. Like they put me on to Earl Sweatshirt about 4 months before Odd Future became something most people were even talking about. The third way is through social media. My facebook and twitter. It’s rare but , every now and then, someone will post some shit I was unaware of and that will point me in a good direction.
But, in general, i don’t really frequent any blogs for new music cause, honestly, it’s too much to keep up with.
I’ll tell you the way it’s never worked: Someone spamming me with their music. Twitter, facebook, email. If i don’t know you and you send me stuff, I will never ever ever ever listen to it. I don’t think I’m alone in that so, that’s just a heads up to all budding artists who use that method. Please stop. It’s annoying as fuck.

Which black and yellow shirt have you been seeing more of in public: Wu-Tang or Batman?
Wu-tang by far. I wrote a who post about it a while back:
http://phatfriend.com/2015/02/05/wu-tang-shirts-aint-nothing-to-fuck-with/
On a side note, if I can date myself a little, I clearly remember when the very first batman movie came out. It was the biggest deal ever. EVERYONE wore those fucking Batman shirts. It felt like 2 out of every 5 males between the ages of 8 and 17 was rocking a batman shirt. To this day, I’ve never seen anything so popular. But, then the backlash came and that shirt become to sign of an out of touch loser or a comic book nerd. Funny how that works.

Where do you stand on LeBron? He’s obviously created a dynasty but there are tons of people that cast stones. What’s your take?

Lebron is one of the greatest ever. Anyone who denies that is hating for the sake of hating. I don’t love him as a person (based on how he portrayed in the media) but , whatever…i don’t like Kobe either but you can’t deny the dudes talent.
Lebron is also a dude who done the most with the least, teammate wise. He’s made it to the final 3 times with absolute shit shows of teams. The fact he got two games off golden state this year is nuts.
I’m curious how his game will age as he’s based so much on his physical gifts and not his shooting touch but he’s clearly a hall of famer and one of the best to ever do it.

Obviously “high fashion” is some shit that it’s way beyond you. But, if you could dictate a ludicrous fashion trend what would it be?
(I attached this hilarious article about NBA fashion cuz it’s fucking funny)
https://medium.com/@susannaht/the-history-of-nba-fashion-fur-and-flair-mj-s-suit-crimes-and-the-couture-conscious-hipster-age-90d9d6c53df1

I’ve said it before but I’m fully ready for 8 ball jackets to come back. Not in the hipster ironic way they’ve been threatening to come back. I’m talking like it’s actually cool and fashionable with no pretension to rock an 8-ball jacket. That would be my shit. I wouldn’t even wear one cause I’m not that fashionable.
If we’re talking about something I’d have to invent? I think I’ve mentioned this before but a shirt made entirely of sponge would be my move. the perfect summertime outfit.

Have you considered buying a big mean pit bull and training it to piss on dudes rocking open toed shoes?

While that would be fun, I have not. As much as i frown upon people wearing open toed shoes in urban areas, I don’t actively wanna make their lives terrible. I don’t REALLY care. Besides, if you’re walking around NYC with open toed shoes all day, dog piss is probably the cleanest thing touching your feet on a regular basis.
Also, why a pitbull? Do other dogs not piss?

What classic 90’s catch phrase are you eager to bring back?
I still say “dope” sooooo….that one?
I’ve always been a fan of calling people “herbs”. That one just feels right.

If you were a competitive eater what food would you dread eating the most?
I’m assuming you’re referring to foods that competitive eaters actually eat. it’s not like people competitively eat bull dicks and liverwurst. So…let’s see…hot dogs, chicken wings and pie seem to be the main things people eat. I love wings. I’m cool with hot dogs. Pie…not a fan. I don’t like warm fruit and, in general, fruit filling isn’t that great to me. So, pie eating would pose the biggest issue. Also, the way they eat those pies in the contests is pretty terrible. Face down in a pie, hands behind the back. Fuck all that noise.

If you could produce a “super group” of your favorite obscure rappers who would you want on your team?
I mean, most of them I already know. Billy woods, open mike eagle, Marq Spekt Homeboy sandman. Those types. but, if i had to go outside of my circle…
I’d pick Vince Staples, Michael christmas, KA,Tree, Jay Electronica, Your old droog and Shirt. Now, keep in mind, that group wouldn’t work stylistically at all but those are some of my favorite rappers nowadays.

Do you really think Good Charlotte is a great band?
Lord no. Why would you ever think I thought that. Oh wait…I know.