Preview Reviews Vol. 11

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Movies. They’re cool and all but, sadly, most of them are a complete waste of time. Not everything can be the new MAd Max movies so, when that happens, I’m here to save us all some times and review movies I haven’t seen based entirely on their trailers. Cause, let’s be honest, we all “get” it. In those 2-3 minutes, you see all you need to know. So, allow me to get my Ebert on.

San Andreas

I think my favorite part about disaster movies is how realistic they are. Like that 9.8 on the ricter scale earthquake that tears apart the entire state of california…when that happens, y’all are definitely fucked. Unfortunately for you, you won’t have dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to save you. I’m pretty sure The Rock and Earthquake have wrestled in real life but this is a whole different beast.
This is an earthquake with feelings and anger. It’s not random or aimless. This earthquake, much like the tidal wave in “The day after tomorrow” or that other earthquake in “2012”, is a guided missile of hate aimed directly at who ever happens to be on screen. The Rock, however, is not having it. he’s gonna fight that earthquake. Maybe he’ll drop the peoples elbow on it from atop the Golden gate bridge? you never know! Can you body slam aftershocks? I suppose we’ll find out. All I know is that, when the dust clears and millions of lives are lost in this made up situation, you can bet that The Rock will be standing tall atop a pile of rubble, holding the women he’s currently fucking in his arms like a championship belt. Can you smelllllll who the Rock is fuckingggggg!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!

Aloha

Now, this is a star studded cast of likable motherfuckers. There is no denying that. I don’t doubt there will be some entertaining or endearing moments but hear me out…it’s a Cameron Crowe movie. To some of you, that brings a smile to your face cause Crowe has long been the manufacturer of likable movies about likable underdogs who do likable shit blah blah blah. I’d be lying if I said he’s never done good work but, at the same time, I’d also be lying if I said he wasn’t the epitome of “basic white person melodra-medy”. He’s got an equation and he runs with it. It works. This movie might as well be a glass of white wine being sipped on the deck of a hamptons beach house. This movie is wealthy but it also voted for Obama. This movie knows how to crochet. This movie knows exactly what side to put the tiny fork that’s possibly for salad or cheese (I don’t know) when setting the table at a dinner party. This movie is gluten free. This movie plays tennis on sunday mornings with it’s college buddies cause, you know, it’s a tradition. This movie secretly says the N-word when it’s alone.
Does this make it a bad movie? Probably not. But I wouldn’t really wanna hang out with it either.

We are your friends

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This movie HAD to happen. It was a matter of time. Shout out to Max from “Catfish” for being the guy bold enough to make it.
The success/underdog story is no new thing. It can be interchangeable with any skill. Ping pong, bar tending, golf, child rearing. Anything. It’s really a sure shot way to make a movie people will sit through even though it always ends the same way and the same pitfalls happen every time.
In the case of the struggling EDM dj, this is especially hilarious. For many reasons…for one, they make it seems like being an EDM dj is some deep soul searching skill set. That’s awesome. Also, they make it seem like making EDM is an enlightening experience. They literally show this dude sampling the sounds of a stapler gun like a fucking foley artist. This isn’t Amon tobin…this is some asshole making ibiza molly music for teenagers. Oh, the life of an artiste!
Now, to be clear, I wanna see this movie. I wanna sit in my seat , seething. I want to inflict that pain upon myself cause , well, I just do. The same reason I sat through “Rent” or “Get rich or die trying”. Sometimes, you have to challenge your limits of human endurance. This movie will be like a clockwork orange moment for me. But I’m up for the challenge. When it comes to cable or torrents, that is. No fucking way I’m paying to see this piece of shit.
I should also add that Emily Ratajkowski is in this so I also might masturbate to it if it’s on and I’m alone. I only tell you guys that cause YOU are my friends.

The last Witch Hunter

This film is not to be confused with “The last bitch hunter” porn series, btw.
Man, to be the last of anything must be scary. I look at Vincent Diesel and feel his pain. I mean, in a world that was once filled with witch hunters, it must be a lonely feeling when you’re the last man standing. And think of all those witches that need to be hunted? There must be hundreds…thousands, even! That’s a lot of work for one guy.
As for the preview, do I hear an accent going on here? Was it british? I can’t tell. Diesel is such a versatile actor it’s hard to really put him in a corner with his dialects. It could be south african. Maybe just eastern european. Whatever it is, I’m sure he nails ever fucking word of it. He’s Vinny D! It’s what he does! He nails accents and kills witches. What more could you ask for.
Side note, if you’re excited to see this movie, you are a fucking moron. Is it me or does this look like the preview was made before the film was even finished? This feels like a poorly executed teaser , if anything.
Also, “You will be hunted” is definitely gonna take off as a famous tag line like “I’ll be back” or “My wife!”. It’s just so fucking catchy.

Yay or Nay: This new ASAP Rocky Song

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It’s been four years now. Maybe five. Asap Rocky has been around THAT long. Feels like just yesterday people were hitting me up on twitter like “Dude, how mad does it make you that he stole Aesop’s name!?!?!”. Oh wait, that was yesterday. You people need a hobby.
Anyway,four years ago I wrote a post about ASAP Rocky and how his music is somehow good against all logical hip hop snob thought. He hit a nerve. At the time, I was referring to his first mixtape, After that, I can admit I kinda lost interest. He released his major label full length and it just didn’t grab me. I’ve never been “Eh, fuck that guy!” but I wasn’t really into it so it just kinda evaporated into the background like so many other albums tend to do.
Well, he’s got a new album coming out. Honestly, when I saw this clip pop up I almost didn’t even check it. The list of “guest” names alone annoyed me. Not that I have a problem with Mark Ronson, Miguel and , umm, Rod stewart. It just seemed like too much. Well, I listened too it. I’m reminded that Mark Ronson is a really good producer. I’m also reminded that Rod Stewart had some joints back in the day as this song does not feature him as much as sample him. Is that what’s going on now? We sample people and they get credit like they recorded the song again? I have no issue with that. it’s just funny to me that that counts as a “feature” nowadays.
But I digress…let’s talk about this song. As far as I can tell, it’s a banger. I love the beat. Rocky does what rocky is gonna do. He raps about nothing very well. He’s the seinfeld of rap. Well, that may be giving him way too much credit but you know what I mean. The only part of this song I think is pointless is Miguel. It’s like they threw him on at the end as a favor or something. Perhaps they recorded him just in case they couldn’t clear the sample and , when they cleared it, they were like “Well, shit…we got Miguel singing already…we should probably keep it, right?”
Whatever the case, I’m sure many of you have already made up your mind about this song before even listening to it but do me the solid and check it out before you vote. It’s only fair. I like it and I was sure I’d never care about another ASAP Rocky song again. Life still does have some surprises , guys.

So, what do you think? You can vote for more than one option.

Answers for Questions vol. 239

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Hi Everyone! Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. You ask, i answer. Wanna be a part of the magic? Well, it’s as simple and thinking of a question and asking me. Do that first part, type it and send it to me via email (phatfriendblog@gmail.com) or leave it in the comment section below. Ask anything you want. all i ask of you is to try and make it interesting. Get creative. Okay? Great. Can’t wait to hear from you.

Where was the sketchiest place you’ve ever done drugs?
I’ve never really been one to do hard drugs in sketchy places (or at all ,really). When I’ve done molly or shrooms, it’s been in safe environments. Does smoking weed count? Cause I’ve definitely smoked weed in some unsavory places. Creepy apartments in the hood, run down shacks in the burbs. Those kinda places.
In general, when I think of being the least comfortable getting fucked up I always think back to this random house party I went to in high school. Some girl from my school had a place in long island and invited us city kids to come party. I had assumed it was some fancy mansion type shit. We get there and it looked like a juggalo’s asshole. A fucked up little house with a lawn that looked like it had been burned. Out back there was a pool with brown water in it filled with years of discarded beer bottles. Her friends were all local scum bags doing weird drugs I had never seen before. The kind you get a super markets that aren’t meant to be drugs. I was just drinking 40’s like a civilized man. At one point, i was on some filthy couch with a friend and some random townie. He was smoking something that wasn’t weed. He proceeded to go on a long rant about how blacks and jews are taking over, casually dropping N-bombs like it’s nothing. It was literally the first time I had been around a truly , out the box racist. Shit blew my mind. My friend and I (both partial jews) just nodded and crept away when his high kicked in enough to not notice us. That was a shady night for sure. Half cause of the whole scene but also cause it was in the middle of nowhere and I would have no idea how to get home had I not had a ride.

I’m sure this has been covered before, but which rappers/producers do you think have the best twitters, instagrams, etc.?

Let’s be honest, musicians (ESPECIALLY rappers) are awful at social networks. Instagram is a little easier but twitter? Goddamn…Thank god for the “mute” button.
That said, there are some people who do a great job.
My man Elaquent’s instagram is mad funny. El-P has a good instagram. Rob Sonic is always good on both twitter and instagram. Open mike Eagle has a good twitter.
You know, looking at it now, it’s not that rappers/producers have a bad social network presence (I’m sure there are plenty of people who feel that way about me, btw) it’s just they post shit that doesn’t interest me. I’m sure their fans are into it. But things like pics with their friends I don’t know, food, tour buses, and their pets? Eh, I’m good on that.


If you had to be in a group like franky valley and the 4 seasons, which guy would you be?
Tiny super high pitched front man?
Low key super deep voice dude?
One of the mid range guys?
Why?

Hmm…that’s tough. It depends if we’re talking about my actual singing capabilities or if this is more about personality. I’d say, singing wise, I’d probably be a mid range guy but I can kinda hit some of those high notes when I sing from my throat. But , if you mean in a more metaphorical sense, I’d be the low voice guy. Kinda in the background but ,at the same time, holding it all together.

When does rap with rock influences cross into rap rock? Or is there a line at all?

Like when does it work? Rarely. I think the only time it works is when it’s done naturally. Also, all parties involved have to have an intimate understanding of what makes good rap music and what makes good rock music. The problem with the mixing of those two styles is that you got one rock guy and one rap guy. Neither really understand the other genre with any real depth so they’re taking the other persons word for it. There’s no middle ground for someone to be like “But wait, that’s corny!”. I’ve long said that the meshing of rap and rock has sucked since run dmc/aerosmith. There have been a few exceptions where people were able to find a really nice happy medium. Honestly, it works best when the rock dudes understand rap. Then they can kinda get in the pocket and adhere their styles to what the rappers do. Cause when rappers try to “rock out” it’s fucking embarrassing for everyone involved.

Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
let’s see…I’ll be a few years from 60.
I have no idea. I imagine I’ll have a kid or two. I also imagine I will not be touring or making rap beats anymore. Man…20 years from now is a scary prospect. So, I’mma go with “I’ll be a person who died in the great manhattan consuming tidal wave of 2032″. That’s an easy answer but as likely as any other bullshit I’ll come up with now.

In high school did you ever skip class, vandalize, or cause ruckus?
I was not that kind of kid. I mean, I did dumb shit but never on a major level. I didn’t get in fights or fuck up school property (outside of drawing on desks).Although I did possibly assist in throwing an entire desk out of a 3 story window. I can’t confirm or deny that though.
I don’t think I even skipped classes, which is funny cause I was someone who didn’t give a shit about school. But I was also someone who didn’t really think outside the box like that. Skipping class had consequences (being in school more) so I figured why bother?
What i did do was get kicked out of class all the time. I was somewhat of a class clown/wise ass and would get thrown out of class on a fairly regular basis for saying dumb shit. It was always in the context of the class though. Like, in 8th grade, I had this unmarried orthodox jewish guy teaching us sex ed. I didn’t know much back then but I was pretty sure he was a virgin. so, I thought it was funny that he was teaching us about sex. I once asked him ” But…What does sex feel like?” and he got furious and bounced me outta class. After that, I made it my mission to ask him uncomfortable questions about sex. He eventually kinda gave up on scolding me and just told me to shut up every time I had a question. It felt like a personal victory.

Demo Reviews vol. 66

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Spring is upon us and Demo reviews stop for no one. Yes, it’s back! Tell your friends!
For those who don’t know, this is a column where readers send me their music to critique. No clue why , as the results are rarely good for either parties but I guess it’s a good way to get your music heard on a very small level. It’s pretty basic. I listen to a song, write a paragraph of two about it, then arbitrarily rate them from 1-10 in these categories:
Production
Vocals
Listenability
Originality

Oh, and I’m not accepting submissions at the moment, so don’t send me any. I’ll let you guys know when I re-open that up.
This week actually has a few decent moments. As well as the typical not so decent moments.
Enjoy and vote to tell me which one was your favorite.

Artist:I also we
Song: Null and sleep


This is an odd starting point. Not the typical genre I get. Not a genre I’d normally listen to. I can say it sounds like an unpolished version of something that could be good. That said, the singer is struggling a little. This is almost good. Some good ideas but, over all, the amateurishness of it is overwhelming.
Production:4 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Paradoxical
Song: Junk Food


I like this beat. It’s some mellow jazzy shit. Reminds me of some late 90’s indy 12″ I might have had on a mixtape. That’s just the beat though. The rapping is not very good. From voice, to presence to lyrics and flow it’s just not there. You can tell it’s being read and the rapper just sounds kinda uncomfortable.
Production:6 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:3.5 out of 10

Artist: Forget the Lotus
Song: Sunlight


This dude sounds like dr. Dre. Weird. I’m fucking with this on some levels. I like the samples and the variations of the beat. The drums suck though. Like, scrap them completely and start over completely cause the rest of the music is solid. The rapper is okay. He’s got a good voice but his flow is very normal and not very exciting.
Production:5 out of 10 (good drums woulda made it this a 6 or more)
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: Master Clown shroom
Song: Verbal Columbine pt. 2


Who could ever forget Verbal Columbine part 1? The streets have been waiting for this!
just kidding.
This is some “barz” shit. The thing about “Barz” it that they’re typically boring as fuck and empty. These guys can rap pretty well. Nothing they say is particularly interesting or original but they have the strong skill set. Some more than others.
The hook is terrible. It sounds very….floridian. The beat is some trappy synths shit that isn’t really my bag. I think it’s a decently made version of that genre so it’s more a personal taste thing.
Production:4 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10

Artist: Dog Teeth
Song:Venus Sunset


This is interesting. Very drowsy and spaced out. I really like the production and the vocals are a nice compliment. I can visualize a teenaged girl listening to this in her bedroom while crying so that’s a good start. The only downside I see it that it lacks a direction. The meandering works but, i dunno, tighten up that song structure.
Production:6.5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:6 out of 10
Originality:6 out of 10

Artist: Saba
Song: Next door (ft. Lucki Eck$)


Is this being rapped in english? Oh wait..it is. Took me a minute.
I like the production and the rapper , as slurry and unintelligible as he is, is pretty good. This is music made for a younger generation than mine. I’m not mad at it and see a lot of potential. This is a person who fucks with lots of drake and young thug. His comfort on the mic is palpable though.
The beat is understated but very well done.
Production:6 out of 10
Vocals:5.5 out of 10
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: Rhizome
Song: Naoko


I think we can stop the pitch bending vocal thing if you’re not Sparkmaster tape, lil ugly mane or captain murphy.
This is a pretty good beat but the vocals are mixed/recorded so badly it’s kinda hard to listen to. I can tell the rapper is kinda meh but not terrible. When the rapping stops, the beat shines a bit though. There are some kinks that need ironing out here but , at the very least, there’s potential here on some level.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Skywayz
Song: Messy Man


The white voice is painful on this one. I know we can’t control that but, goddamn…he has the voice of an accountant or a poetry professor. Outside of the voice, his flow and lyrics are a very certain type. Competent but not particularly enjoyable.
The beat is a bit noisy for my taste. It’s not terribly made but it definitely lacks a real mood that the listener can embrace.
Production:4 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

What do you think?

Yay or Nay: Eric Biddines

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Southern rap has an interesting effect on people. To some, it’s all they listen to. The more country , the better. With the popularity of trap, it’s reached levels where rap that isn’t even southern sounds like it was made in Atlanta. To others, the second they hear that triplet hi hat pattern, they roll their eyes and tune it out. I’d say this mostly has to do with content. In the 90’s and early 2000’s there was certainly more of a balance with southern hip hop. For every Cash Money rapper there was a dungeon family counterpart. You had people rapping about money, drugs and cars but you also had people giving a more soulful and intellectual angle as well. To me, there has always been room for both. Good rap is good rap. I’ve never been one to back away from a song I like cause of it’s content. That said, these has been something missing in southern rap the last few years. Well, maybe it’s not missing? Perhaps I’m just not aware of it. A good example of this is Eric Biddines. A florida rapper who’s seemingly been putting in work for a while now. The easiest comparison you can make here is Outkast. It’s almost too easy. But, honestly, what will get people listening quicker than saying “Hey, this dudes music kinda reminds me of Outkast!”? I’d throw in a little Devin the dude too cause he’s a fan of singing and has that similar drawl.
He’s recently connected with UK based producer Paul White for a project called “Golden rules”.
The first song has been released and, I gotta say, I’m fucking with it.

Perfect song for summer. It just feels good.
If you’re curious about some more of Biddines music, he’s actually got a bunch of videos (and five albums). All along the same line as this new song.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGKz7oKvRK14NsdHyIIO99g
So, what do you think?

Answers for Questions Vol. 238

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Hi guys. Welcome to another stirring edition of “Answers for questions”. I’m always in need of new questions so don’t be a shy #sadboy. Send me shit! Either email me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave the questions in the comment section below.
Also, I got the final 4 dates of my tour this coming week. Hitting Vancouver, Seattle, Portland and Bellingham. For more info: http://blockheadmusic.com/. Come on out cause I probably won’t be hitting the road much for the rest of the year. Time to make music again!

I’ve been listening to Spark Master Tape since you posted about him a couple years ago. You have addressed the importance of authenticity in hip hop a number of times. At is point, do you give a shit who he is, or is the music strong enough to stand on its own? Say his identity comes out and it’s clear that the character is 100% fabricated. Is there a scenario in which you could no longer listen to him, based on who he is?

I think, in his case, the music is bigger to me than the authenticity. As far as I can tell, he’s playing a character on some level. That’s fine with me. His creativity is what drew me to his music. He can rap very well, he uses crazy beats and has his own style of how he puts songs together. I actually have an idea of who he is. Not specifically but I’ve gotten some info here and there that has pointed me to a likely answer. From what I’ve gathered (most info came from one particular internet sleuth who seems to have cracked the code), SMT is a dude who was an underground rapper for years who simply wasn’t getting shine. He made SMT and , all of a sudden, people took notice. I’ve also heard he’s not from the US and , race-wise, he’s neither white or black. Possibly of Arabic descent or maybe latino. My guess has always been he’s canadian cause his production crew is from there. So, that’s all I really have on him but, to be honest, I don’t care. I just want more music by him. He’s awesome.

Do you consider yourself a feminist?
Hmm…I never have thought that. I mean, I’m all for equality on every level for everyone but a card carrying feminist? Nah. I’m way too apathetic about everything to really ever get involved with a cause that deeply.
My approach to most things in the vein is “OBVIOUSLY we should all be treated equally”. It’s a given to me. But I’m also not a person who protests or takes strong public stands. It’s just not in my nature.

I recently got approved for SSI and will be getting around $10,000 back pay that I’m required to “spend down” in 9 months to stay eligible for monthly SSI checks. I know SSI isn’t a lot of money and I’m pretty much going to be poor anywhere I choose to live. I sort of see this as an opportunity to pick up and move myself somewhere in the United States. As someone who has toured and traveled quite a lot I’m wondering where you would go to if you could pick up and live anywhere and be assured an income. I currently live in a state with a long hard winter and would preferably move away from snow. I’m mostly into art, computers, and keeping to myself.

If you’re into computers and keeping to yourself, the world is your oyster. You can live anywhere and be happy. The art part is a little trickier but it also depends on what kind of art. Fine art? Like you wanna be around museums? Or do you mean just artsy people?
I think Portland, OR could be a decent spot. Asheville, NC is somewhat cheap and has all those things. If weather is something of that concerns you, California. There are tons of town in southern cali that I’m sure are affordable and offer and mellow life. Honestly, if you’re a person who doesn’t leave the house much anyway, you might as well live in a suburb. Save your money. Spending money on a location that you don’t plan on using seems like a waste. Sounds like you need to just get out of the north for the winters.

As we get older, our close and long-standing friendships tend to become more important and valuable to us. Do you ever tell your friends that you love them?

You mean like my male friends? Good lord no. I don’t really have those kinda relationships. Not that I don’t love my friends but I’m not one of those expressive type of guys. Most my buddies and I are too busy busting each others balls to say “I love you, bro” to one another as a focused statement. In fact, it would be both hilarious and weird if we did. With girl friends (not my actual girlfriend) that phrase can come up but, even then, it’s thrown around pretty meaninglessly. Like casually saying “Okay, later, I love you” as we get off the phone. Even then, it’s a very particular type of friend that would initiate that with me.
Clearly, I’m a man who’s not comfortable with expressing my emotions but, at the same time, I don’t walk around with an overwhelming urge to express my love to the people close to me. I’m content with that. As far as I can tell, we’re all good.

Do you think that San Fran seems kinda like the “new New York” in some ways? (In that, rental prices have experienced an exponential increase in a short period of time). This is from a non-american on the outside looking in, so forgive my naivete!

Kinda but not really. Yes, they’re both awesome cities that are expensive and being overrun by rich assholes. Outside of that, they’re really nothing a like. As far as cities and how they run, they’re worlds apart. They are my two favorite cities though. Sucks that they’re both so damn unaffordable!

I think you are pretty well known among underground hip-hop cirlces, but lets say you were ever to blowup and become more well known, at least to mainstream America. Would you accept an invitation to play in the NBA’s Celebrity game? How do you think you would do if you played? I have never payed the game much attention so im not sure who participates now days but do you think you could give guys like terrell owens, bieber, timberlake, michael rappaport work? anyone you would gladly throw an elbow at?

ohhhh….good question. It depends. I’m definitely a type who would get nervous on that big stage. I’d mostly likely pass a lot and hit the boards. That’s kinda what I do when I know I’m not a main scoring option. I’d take open shots and all but I wouldn’t be forcing my offense.
Skill wise, I’m pretty confident I could hang with most of the celebrities that play in those games. A dude like Common looks like he’s actually pretty good might be tough for me to guard but most of those guys are my level or worse. The athletes? No way. Terrell owens would obliterate me. They may be professionals in other sports but an athlete is an athlete. But those other guys? I’d be fine. I’ve actually played with Rappaport once before at a park. He was decent but kind of a ball hog. Fitting though cause he’s an actor.
I wouldn’t throw an elbow at anyone cause I don’t play dirty like that but I would be gunning to swat some shots. Sending a Bieber shot into the stands would feel amazing.

Have you ever had a really good idea that had either been done before or someone else beat you to it?

Sure, all the time. That’s how music goes. More often than not, I’ll flip a sample and it will be sitting on the shelf and someone else will drop a song with that same sample in it. That’s infuriating. Especially if I liked the beat I made. I can’t say I’ve ever had some grandiose concept album idea that got used before I could do it. I don’t really work that way though. And , being that I make beats, there’s only so far my ideas can go. It’s not like I’d think “Man, i should sample some steel drums!” then someone else does it and I’m like “Oh man, forget that idea!”. It’s all how you execute your ideas. Two people can think of the same shit and the end result will be completely different.

My woes about Drakes woes.

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This is a pointless little story but I figure I’d share it cause it’s friday and who cares?
Man, being old and out of touch sucks. Especially when you actually do make a tiny effort to stay somewhat in the loop. Even when you do that, there’s always going to be something that flies over your head. Where slang is concerned, I generally don’t follow it but I can figure out what it means. Words like “Fleek” or “Thot” come around and all you need to do is hear them in a certain context and you get it. You’d be a fool to use them in real life but, still, you can at least understand them. Other terms,however, are not as simple.

Case in point, this Drake song “Know yourself“. Admittedly, I’ve been running some tracks off the new Drake mixtape. Judge me with all the rap snobbery you got but, you know what? I’m old, very likely know more about rap than you and I can like what I want to like so blow me. Still, while I do tip my hat to drake a little I also think he’s fairly ridiculous. But that’s neither here nor there. This is about a line in a drake song.

So, in this song, there’s a break in the middle  (Go to 1:31 in the above video to hear it) and he goes into exclaiming “I was runnin’ through the 6 with my woes!”. it’s the pinnacle of the song. Every rap listening teen knows that part. There have been gifs, vines and everything. Now, I know “The 6″ is toronto. That I know! But, when I heard this line I was kinda fascinated. Like “What a fucking weird thing to say!”. I imagined Drake, walking around Toronto , with his hood up just thinking about his life issues AKA his woes. I thought he might be on some Aceyalone shit. I mean, let’s be real, Drake is nothing if not an emo dude. It would make sense for him to pace around Toronto with a lot on his mind. He’s definitely a cryer. I dunno…the whole thing just seemed like a strange, bold and interesting choice of words for him to use. Add on that it’s followed by him saying “You know how that shit go” and it seemed like the sentiment was real. Yes, drake. i do know how that shit go. I’ve had a lot on my mind and walked around the city , trying to make sense of it all. What a relatable sentiment, Aubrey. I was even in Toronto a few weeks back and that song was in my head like crazy. I was walking around Toronto singing it to myself. It was somewhat embarrassing, now that I look back at it but , hey, music does what it does.

Flash forward to me at the YMCA this past monday. I play ball there a few times a week and it’s filled with a wide variety of people. One major type is teenagers. (Unrelated but, holy shit, teenagers are the fucking worst). So, I’m shooting around with some people before a game and one of the kids starts rapping that verse from “Know yourself” in it’s entirety. Other chime in. a few grown men even get in on the action as well. I say “Man, it’s crazy how drake made an anthem about being sad”. The kid that started the sing along looks at me and says “Huh?” and I say “yeah, like he’s got you all singing about how he runs around his city crying and shit…” this was met with patronizing laughter and the kid explaining to me that his “woes” are his boys. Most likely a shortening of the southern term Whodies. Well, fuck me. I felt 200 years old. What a let down. i won’t lie, it’s made me like the song less. I much prefer the idea of drake and his actual woes over the visual of drake and his corny friends going clubbing. Goddamn it. Oh well, this whole topic got me running through my social network timelines with my actual woes. But you know how that shit go.