Yay or Nay: Westside Gunn

From where? Buffalo. That’s where. He may be the first rapper I’ve ever heard from Buffalo but he doesn’t sound like he’s from anywhere but NYC. Even though he currently resides in Atlanta. Clearly, he’s all over the place.
His style and sound is reminiscent of AZ and Roc Marciano. Definitely more on the thugged out side of things. I mean, his name is Westside Gunn. What did you expect? Now, I don’t doubt a decent amount of you will be turned away by his topics but, hey, it is what it is. I still like shit like this and the kid can rap well.
Sure, he’s not exactly blazing new paths but , personally, I give it up when people can do something well. Like Russell Westbrook might say “It’s the execution”.
Oh, and here’s an interesting thing, I couldn’t find one video of this dudes music. In this day and age , where video content is often deemed more important than actual albums, I actual find comfort in this guy just making a shit ton of songs and letting people judge him on that alone. Maybe that’s not why he has no videos but, whatever. I’mma pretend it is.
So, here’s a few links. The first is to his website where he has two Ep’s streaming. Ideally I’d like to highlight songs but that’s not possible here so I’ll just say peep “Messhall Talk” and “Rayfuls plug”
His soundcloud page has a bunch of loosies so here are few of those too:

So, what do you think?

Oh really, Uberfacts? Vol. 2

Uberfacts. I love them and hate them. Love them cause they teach me things and hate them cause they make shit up all the time. It’s really a situation where you can choose to believe what you want and I do actually appreciate that.
If you don’t know what Uberfacts are, it’s not a taxi service that speaks truths. It’s a twitter account that posts little nuggets of wisdom about 30 times a day. Sometimes it’s compelling. Other times, infuriating. So, I sifted through some recent ones and wanted to look a little deeper into what was really going on (this by no means is to say I did any researching or myth busting, that would be way too much effort).

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Here’s a common problem with uberfacts. They make scientific claims about things that are completely opinion based. Like attractiveness. If you asked this question to some girls , the thing that will pop in their minds is that Adrian Brody will live forver. Ask a different girl, and it might be Jack Black. Meanwhile, you man River Phoenix died before he turned 30. On top of that, I’ve seen some truly awful looking 90 year olds in my life time. Granted, they were 90 so it’s not like anyone is going to be particularly fuckable at that age but still…
On the other hand, there is some science to this that, with more that 141 characters, might be convincing. The same way people who are beautiful are often the least interesting, that could be applied to this “theory” too. People who have been really good looking their whole lives tend to have a somewhat charmed existence. As long as they’ve been alive people have been doing them favors, giving them extra and , basically, treating them like celebrities. At the very least, being good looking affords people the benifit of the doubt from strangers. This often leads to a person having a false sense of importance. Understandably so. If I was told I was amazing by everyone I met since I was 4, I’d probably be pretty entitled too. But, in reality, they often end up like not fully realized people. It’s like , emotionally, they got taken out of the oven too soon. So, on the same note, I could see that same charmed life, of being fawned over and complimented constantly, somehow translating to a longer lifespan. Less stress. More open doors. Basically, the mild sense of delusion could add a few years to anyones life.
I’m basing this entirely on nothing but, hey, so does Uberfacts so it’s probably about as correct.

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This is not one that i particularly find fault in, I’d just like more info on it. i walk fast. Am I gonna die Uberfacts?!?! Tell me! Do bowlegged people die young? is there a heaven for people who walk with a fake limp? This is an issue with these uberfacts. Just putting this kind of info out into the ether and not specifying leaves a lot of questions. It’s like when local news do those lead in like “Coming up next, this type of candy bar will give you full blown AIDS…more details at the end of the show!” except Uberfacts doesn’t even offer more info at the end of the show. There is no show. It’s uberfacts.
(I guess I could google this a figure it out but, you know, that’s so much typing…)

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I don’t doubt this is real. in fact, of course it is. “They” will offer anyone a million dollars to make a porn. But, in the case of Mama June…who is this for? As a man who will watch pretty much any celebrity sex tapes, I have a pretty long leash when it comes to what I let my eyes soak in. Even if I’m not into the girl, curiosity will at least push me to check it out. I watched the gross one with Chyna and her “not penis”. I even checked out the one with Screech. Like I said, I’ll peep it just to peep it. I guess I’m a voyeur like that. But this? No fucking way. I’d divert my eyes from this like the fucking lost ark. So, the question is, if a guy like me wouldn’t watch this, who would? Oh, I’m sure there are a handful of people who fetish this may fall into but certainly not $1,000,000 worth.
This leads me to believe that this movie would be getting made specifically to humiliate this woman. No other reason. It’s a case of “What would you do for a million dollars?” but on a public scale. I hope she says no. i’m assuming she will. But really, even if she says yes, I feel like it will exist in vacuum anyway. If mama june makes a porn in the forest and no one is there to see it, does it make a sound?

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In other news, if you eat food, you will not starve to death. Also, breathing air has been known to lengthen peoples lifespan. This just in: farts often smell and bears have been known to defecate within the confines of woodland areas.
Yes, Uberfacts, this is technically a fact but someone was clearly late for lunch when that one got posted.

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This effects me on a few levels.
1)It seems like everyone has a scheme. Shark tank can only give out so much money. For every great idea that spawns millions of dollars, there’s a terrible fucking idea that also probably spawns millions of dollars. I’d like to hope that the “We take your stuffed animals on vacations” people are not rolling in money cause, come the fuck on…but who knows? With businesses like this, i feel as though it’s not the business itself, it’s finding people dumb enough to sign up. It’s kinda like getting mad at an artist for making shitty music. When, in reality, you should always blame the fans cause, without those fans, this artist wouldn’t have existed in the first place.
2)How much money do we have , as a country, that this is a thing? I’m not a “there are people starving in africa!” kinda guy but, seriously, there are people starving in africa. Meanwhile, Mr. buttons the stuffed ocelot gets a trip to cancun? That’s just insane.
3)How documented are these trips? Do they include pictures of the stuffed animal doing stuff? Or is it just assumed the animal traveled? Cause, if it’s the latter, I take it all back and the people who made this company up are fucking geniuses.

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Umm…What? There must be a catch to this. Like something to do with the lining between a woman’s vagina and intestines. “Some woman” means , like, a few ever in the history of time, right? I need more info on this. WE ALL NEED MORE INFO ON THIS. But, regardless, ladies…be sure to wipe your shitty pussies.

Answers for questions vol. 222

Whattup everyone? Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. It almost feels weird doing this cause I did a reddit AMA last week. I’ve answered a LOT of questions doing that but, on the bright side, the majority of those were kinda boring “What inspires you?” or “What’s it like to know aesop?”kinda questions that I generally avoid answering here so I don’t think there was much crossover. These questions are still far more silly and way more fun.
If you’d like to join this fun, send me questions! Either leave them in the comment section below or email them to me at Phatfriendblog@gmail.com. I can always use more questions. Don’t be shy.
Let’s get into this weeks batch.

Block, you have to make the choice to speak, exclusively, in either Snoop Dogg “izzle bizzle shizzle” talk, Das EFX “iggity” talk, or, say an obnoxious “Ha!” after everything you say, a la Juvenile/Kanye West/Ying Yang Twins etc… Which do you choose?
Man, that’s tough. I think I would chose “Ha!” simply cause it wouldn’t make me speak in an embarrassing baby talk. I could still get clear thoughts out of my mouth and, in fact, it would be great for making points. Like “Oh, you like that restaurant? Ha! I heard they got shut down last year for mass amounts of vermin, ha!”
With the other two, not only would I sound ridiculous cause both those types of “speak” are incredibly dated, but it would basically be like me speaking in pig latin.

Do you remember who put you on to a specific song? Its crazy – I can recollect being in 10th grade homeroom and the dude behind me handing me his headphones so I could bump this tune, however I cannot recall the last page in the book I’m reading.

Not with most songs but , sure, there are some songs that stick out.
To be honest, I was typically a guy who sought out music myself and would put people on to it. I don’t mean that in a bragging kinda way. In fact, it’s kinda shitty. Like I always wanted to discover things on my own and would sometimes not give things a proper listen if it played to me by a friend. Then, a few weeks later, I’d hear it again, pay attention and be like “This is dope!”.
One song I specifically recall being put onto was in high school. I saw kids crowded around a bench in the locker room. Like 4 kids were passing around headphones of a walkman. They were freaking out so I was obviously curious. I asked for a listen and it was “Crooklyn Dodgers” by Buckshot, Special Ed and Master Ace. The second I played it , I was like “Ohhhhhhhh…”. i clearly remember that feeling though.

Who do you think has a more difficult time in the heterosexual dating pool – extra short men or extra large women?

Extra large women, obviously. Men are generally far more shallow than women when it comes to who they seek out so I’d imagine being an extra large lady is pretty brutal. Being a really short guy much suck too but there are tons of short girls. I’ve seen plenty of handsome short dudes who get tons of girls. Even tall ones. But really large women? That’s tough. That said, there are men who love extra large women so I imagine part of the process would be seeking out those dudes. I’d be shocked if there wasn’t a website for men seeking big girls. If there isn’t, I’d like to make that website and become a millionaire. If you know how to build websites, holler at me and let’s get money (assuming that webstie doesn’t already exist ten times over).

I read your demo reviews and it’s pretty tough to get praise from you. How often do you listen to signed artists and think, ‘This is crap with few to none redeeming qualities’? Do you feel like most music produced by a real record label has some sort of redeeming qualities even if its not your jam, like at least being polished? Sorry if I have erred in my understanding of music industry terminology, don’t know how it gets produced, just like to listen.

The only difference between listening to demos and music that actually gets put out is generally how well polished it is. Very often, the demo’s will just sound slightly amateurish. That’s a huge separator. Beyond that, mediocre music is mediocre music. 95% of all music made, in my opinion, ranges from “meh” to “That sucks”. But, really, the majority of that music is simply half assed. It’s not terrible. It’s not offensively bad. it’s just some shit that exists cause someone made it. The demo reviews show that. That’s why if I give something a 5/10, it’s not a bad thing. It’s just more of a ” Eh, this is okay…nothing special but certainly not bad”. That’s a common rating cause that’s simply a common level of music made.

What are your thoughts on faking an orgasm? I know its different in a relationship vs random hookup. Lets say in a relationship- is it an awful thing that undermines the trust of the relationship, or is it a convenient white lie?

I suppose it depends. If the girl is a person who normally can achieve orgasm but is having a rough time one night or doesn’t feel it, then I don’t see a problem to throw one out there just to end what might otherwise drag on for her. She will rise again. That said, if she never cums and has been faking for the entire relationship, she’s not only giving the dude false security and teaching him how to have sex the wrong way but she’s also selling herself short. How’s a guy ever going to learn to please a woman if he thinks he’s got it down but doesn’t? This guys walking around thinking he’s rocking her world but, in reality, he’s failing on regular.
I think faking an orgasm should be only done in particular situations but it should never be the norm.

Which NBA team has the tackiest-looking logo? My vote is the Toronto Raptors FOR SURE…but I also only know of like, only three other teams.
I was going to say the raptors. But, and maybe I’m biased with this one, that smug prick on the celtics logo is mad annoying. Look at him.
Nice sweater vest, guy. Cool bow tie. Even cooler paleolithic era walking stick. Fuck that dude.

while you’re shitting, you read more or just use your phone? Do you think the shitting moment is a sacred moment of relax and reflection?
Been a minute since a good shitting question. I was beginning to wonder what was wrong with you guys.
If I’m home, I’m the type of dude who will bring my entire laptop to the bathroom with me. I’ve made beats while shitting. Granted, I’m most likely sterile because of this but that’s what I do.
When I’m at an an away toilet, I use my phone. I used to read magazines (my bathrooms are littered with old vice, while you were sleeping, xxl, and urb magazines to this very day) but I’d be lying if I said I had looked that them in the last few years.

I’m hitting the road! Check my live shows!

It’s that time of year again where I journey from off my couch to venues all over the world to play people my music. It’s looking like a busy winter/fall as I will be all over the states and even back in europe.Some familiar places and some spots I have never set foot in before. so, without further ado, here are my upcoming shows:
1/22/15 Wichita, KS – Rock island live
1/23/15 Kansas City-, MO -The Riot Room
1/24/15 Covington, KY- Cosmo’s

Opening for Aesop rock, Rob Sonic and Homeboy Sandman-
2/14/15 NYC, NY Gramercy theater

W/ DJ Cam
2/26/15 Berlin, Germany -Gretchen
2/27/15 Kiev, Ukraine -Cinema Club
2/28/15 Linz, Austria -Stadtwerkstadt
3/4/15 Brussels, Belgium-VK
3/5/15 Copenhagen, Denmark- Stengade
3/6/15 Hamburg, Germany- Mojo
3/7/15 Amsterdam, Netherlands- 301

US w. Arm and sleepers
3/19/15 Chicago, IL – Chop Shop 1st Ward
3/20/15 Denver , CO – Cervantes Otherside
3/21/15 Detroit, MI- Magic Stick
3/22/15 Minneapolis, MN- 7th st. Entry
3)25/15 Los Angeles Bahia live
3/26/15 San Francisco, CA- Mezzanine
3/27/15 Flagstaff, AZ- Green Room
3/28/12 San Diego, CA- The soda bar

There will be more shows added as they get booked so keep an eye out for shows in april and may as well!

Rogglecast 26- The Doctor is in

It’s been forever and a day but Rogglecast is back in 2015. This week we have a special guest. Our buddy Dr. S. Joins us to talk about life as a lady in the emergency room. We ask her a ton of ignorant questions and get honest answers. Often informative, sometimes gross, this episode is drenched in bodily fluids. Shit is mad real out there and, after this episode, you will know what a panis is. PANIS.

Re-up: Rare old NYC radio Freestyles and demo tapes

When I initially started this blog about 4 years ago, one of the first posts I ever did was upping a bunch of extremely rare songs and freestyles I had recorded off the radio in the 90’s. I was looking through my I-tunes the other day and happened upon them once again. I thought “Hmm, I should bring these back out cause, logically, my readership is completely different now than it was 4 years ago.”
So, as a gift to all you meticulous rap nerds who love underground rap from the early/mid 90’s, here you go.
To be clear, these are all things I personally recorded live off the radio from shows like Stretch and bobitto, Nighttrain and Martin Moore on WNYU. I Used to stay up way past my bedtime and go to school like a zombie just so I could have the newest shit to listen to in my walkman the next day.
I’m not gonna do a track listing (it’s 27 tracks) but included in this folder of music are Rare freestyles from the artifacts, Jay-z, Cage, Redman, MAster Ace, ODB and many many more. Also, there are demo’s and unreleased songs. The demo’s are mostly obscure groups that never came out but there are a few that will surprise you. Including a super rare Kool Keith song and a Jay-Z song not many people probably know ever existed. Like I said, this is deep crate nerd shit but, if you’re like me, this will be your shit.
If you’re an audiophile who can’t deal with anything below a certain bit rate, skip this. This isn’t for you. This is all stuff recorded on cassettes off the radio. The quality varies but, at it’s best, it’s never amazing.
So, I hope you all enjoy this stuff. This is definitely the music of my youth and stuff like this is what inspired me to get into rap music in the first place.

Demo Reviews vol. 61

Hello, and welcome to a new year of Demo Reviews. You sent them in and I tell you what I think. My opinion doesn’t mean shit but, hey, at least I’ll listen, right?
Btw, shout out to the winners of last years Demo reviews!
Best rap demo:
Galactic brethren
Best instrumental Demo:
Agrume de Cereau

Well done guys. Best of luck in the future. If either of you ever make it, don’t forget the little people.
Oh, by the way, people have been sending me new demos to review the last few days and I just wanted to alert you that submissions are closed. Anything sent to me during this time gets ignored. When I need more demo’s, I’ll let you know.
Since it’s a new year, I’m switching things up a tiny bit. I’ll be review 8 demo’s at a time (instead of 10). Why? Cause doing these demo reviews is my personal hell and 8 is less than 10. Other than that, the song remains the same. I write a paragraph or two about you song then arbitrarily rate in from 1-10 in these categories:

Remember, this is just my opinion. I am but one man. Don’t let anything I say crush your dreams.
That said, this weeks batch is an unusually good one. Really only one demo that wasn’t at least a hair above average. So, good start guys!
Let’s check them out and remember to vote for your favorite demo of the week at the bottom.

song: Best of the good stuff

I find the main loop to be very interesting and captivating. It’s both pretty and strange at the same time. The drums are understated but work within the context of the song. I’d say my only issues with this one are that it’s pretty much just that loop with drums and a few flourishes added in. It doesn’t stray too far from it’s base…until the end. If that end had perhaps been a bridge instead of an outro that led into another part all together, I woulda been really impressed.
Production:6.5 out of 10
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

song: Darling

Couple issues with this one. Using the same sample as J-Dilla used on common’s “The light” is a pretty bad move. It’s simply just too famous a sample (and sample source). Outside of that, this is a very well made track. It feels more like a rap beat than an instrumental song simply cause you can tell it mostly comes from one source and it’s switch ups are limited. But, if nothing else, this was very well done.
Production:6.5 out of 10
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:2.5 out of 10

Artist: Lazy ass specialist

His moniker could be taken a few different ways. Is he a lazy specialist or is he only lazy when dealing with ass. I guess we’ll never know.
As for the song, this guy can rap. I like his voice. I like his flow. I even like some of his rhymes. He might wanna rein in it a little and focus more of the control of his voice and flow and less on how he acts out the rhymes. But , other than that, lots of potential here. The beat is cool. Some mellow jazzy shit. Nothing mind blowing but it’s perfectly fine for the track.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:6 out of 10
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: Stack hat music
song: As you wish

This is an interesting mix of electronica and hip hop. Musically, it’s very glitchy but the drums feel more like some down tempo hip hop shit. The change is a bit abrupt. I like it but the build up feels like it skips a few parts. There is a attention deficit disorder kinda charm to this. More than anything, it show potential cause the technical talent is there for sure.
Production:6 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:5.5 out of 10

artist: Outlet
Song: All night

I kinda hate acoustic guitar loops as main samples. Maybe it’s just me but, for one, they all sound the same and bring about the same emotion: Wistful. I mean, that’s a real emotion and everything but I’m not trying to feel that way unless I have to. This song does get better as it evolves though. The further it strays from the initial loop. It turns out pretty good. I like the vocal/keys part around the 2:15 mark. Don’t love the drum sounds but, really that’s a minor complaint.
Production: 6 out of 10
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:5 out of 10

Artist: 3rdegree
song: Alley Kidz Ft. Onry Ozzborn

I just wanna put this out: Don’t send me songs done with already established rappers. It’s kinda lazy and cheap on your part. It’s happened a few times and, in general, the songs are usually pretty good but that’s not a good way to get real criticism.
Anyway, this song is cool. Onry is dope. The Alley Kidz are pretty good too. They aren’t exactly blowing my wig back but it’s solid underground hip hop shit. The beat is solid too.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: La Mojarra
Song: But Beautiful

This is a tough one cause I really like where this COULD have gone. The whole build up of the beginning is really cool and hypnotic. When it eventually reaches the drums, it’s a bit of let down. Not only do the drums sounds like they’re in another room but the whole vibe of the song kinda stagnates. It’s got some really cool elements in it thouhg, just some choices I wouldn’t have made.
Production:5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:5.5 out of 10

Artist: Proper Rhymes
Song: Money Ain’t

This sounds like it may have been recorded on Garage band. Which gives it a very “demo tape” charm. The downside is that the music itself isn’t particularly very good so that charm doesn’t carry very far. The rapper can rap well but sounds like he’s reading the words and he’s a bit monotone for my taste. The beat is kinda cheap sounding but , at least, headed in a decent direction.
Production:4 out of 10
Vocals:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

So, what do you think?