Whattup everyone. I was just sitting around imagining what the world of Game of Thrones would be like if they had cell phones. SO much less confusion.
Anyway, this weeks questions are fun. Thanks to all those who submitted them. If you have anything you wanna ask me, send it my way. Either Email it to me (phatfriendblog@gmail.com) or leave them in the comments below. As always, be interesting. This column is only as good as your questions are.
So, let’s do this

You are trying to fall asleep one night, when suddenly the ghosts of Tupac, Michael Jackson, and Elvis appear before you. All three of them are there for the same reason. They each have one last album worth of songs that were never recorded, and their souls will not rest until they can share them with the world.

If you refuse, then these 3 highly intoxicated ghouls will follow you around for the rest of your life like that movie “The Frighteners” starring Michael J. Fox. Which one of these former celebrities will you help?

I’m assuming they come back looking like them and not me cause, really, who’s gonna buy that I’m any of these people. If you had the other way in mind, I call bullshit. Cause, let’s be honest, if i came back with the voice and “moves” of any of these guys looking like me, I’d get thrown in a asylum within hours.
This is pretty easy. I’d choose Tupac and here’s why:
Elvis is old and fat. No one is trying to hear some new elvis shit. He hasn’t been popular in the states since Jimmy Carter was President and anyone who would buy an Elvis record in 2013 is probably too deaf to listen to it anyway.

M.J. is already a faceless ghoul who definitely will always carry the kid toucher stigma with him. Sure, he could put an album out and tour south america and asia for millions of dollars but he’s simply too old and I’m pretty sure he’s made of balsa wood. He would definitely be the biggest money maker but I don’t think it would be fun to be him.

Tupac would be my choice cause, while I don’t give a shit about his music, his fan base is still very much alive. Not only that, but if he came back people would be like “I knew it!” and his career would be bigger than ever. Also, he died young enough that I think he’d enjoy his life. Although, he might give me AIDS with all the consequence free fucking he’d be doing. But I suppose that’s the risk of being reborn Tupac for a year.

i gotta question, do ever get free shit being an artist? whats the best free shit youve ever got?

You know what? Not really. I’m not of that level where people will give me shit cause I’m like a walking advertisement. I simply don’t have that kinda pull. The best shit, by far, I ever got was a Mini MOOG Slim phatty. Nothing else comes close to that. I have friends who have gotten free kicks, back packs , apple gear and shit like that. But, personally, T-shirts and hats I’d never wear are the extent of my bounty. On the bright side, I was given a great hat last time I was in St. Petersburg Russia that I’ve been rocking a lot. I get T-shirts the most and ,while most of the T-shirts I’ve been given are cool, I’m simply too old to be rocking shit with graffiti cartoons on it. However, I do tend to cut the sleeves off those T-shirts and use them as basketball shirts so all is not lost.

Hey Block, Just wanted to know your opinion of the, “Beast Coast” movement that’s lingering around in hip hop nowadays since you’re from New York.

That’s a thing? I feel like I’ve heard that phrase before but it sounds like something a blogger made up in order to fit all the rap coming out of the east coast right now into a nice little basket. So, even though I’m not clear on what it is, I can sorta guess. If it’s what i think it might be, I’m cool with it. I’m always happy when any new rap comes out that decent. Be it east coast or west coast or wherever.

Do the comments on your (public) Facebook page ever make you lose faith in humanity?

Dude. I’ve considered writing a long piece on this cause it’s seriously one of the more frustrating and troublesome things I deal with on a day to day basis (Yes, my life is fairly charmed). When I signed up for twitter, I immediately was subjected to a new level of trolling and basic fuckery at the hands of faceless assholes. Par for the course, as this is the internet. It was not that different than people on Myspace but it was more concentrated. However, when I finally made a facebook music page…HOLY SHIT. Twitter is like a land of evolved and sane people compared to Facebook.
Now, this is partially my fault. I could easily avoid all of this if I just stuck to the Facebook music page norms. Only posting music related updates. Not having opinions on anything and , most of all, NEVER making jokes. But, unfortunately, I refuse to take social networking that seriously. Yes, it’s an important tool for pretty much anyone promoting anything on earth but I simply don’t have it in me to not joke around. It’s my nature and all these different platforms are just begging to be used as such. I remember joining Friendster in like 1998 just so I could fuck with my friends. So, while my public Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheRealBlockhead) may serve a purpose of promotion, it’s also a sounding board of sorts. For my opinions on things but, most of all, for pointless jokes that I tweet.
What I’ve learned from this? People get offended at EVERYTHING. I’ve had 45 comment posts of fury after making a joke about Razor Scooters. I’ve had people lose their minds at me about my making fun of men who wear open toed shoes every where. I’ve had people be deeply offended when I tweeted a joke about some celebrity of questionable talent. I’d say once a month I get a private message from someone telling me that they are no longer fans of y music because of something I wrote on my facebook wall. As if I’ve been posting nazi propaganda or crazy political views.
Another thing I’ve noticed is, when I post a link to a blog post about something, and people disagree with it (which is often and expected), it’s clear they didn’t read it. For instance, I wrote a piece about how I don’t give a shit about pixar movies and the first sentence in it was something like “You are probably gonna disagree with this” and every response was “I disagree with this!”. It’s like “yeah man…THAT’S THE POINT.” So, while a lot of this can be blamed on my spotty writing skill, I do think that people simply like to be outraged…by anything and they’re just waiting to jump the gun on taking up a cause.
I’ve also noticed that the majority of the people on Facebook who flip out at me are typically from one of four places: Australia, The UK , Ohio or California. I have no clue why this is but it’s been fairly uncanny. Even more befuddling is that I know people from all those places who are lovely human beings. They just seem to be hot spots for people either don’t like jokes, don’t get jokes or people who love to get mad over things of little importance.
So, to answer your question, YES. My facebook comments make me sad and I question humanity on a daily basis.. Not cause it’s people disagreeing with me but cause of the way in which they do it. Some people can’t think outside of themselves and apply that to jokes and that’s really depressing. The amount of times I’ve had to follow up a post with “This was a joke” or “It’s not that serious” is pretty sad. So, to all of you out there who follow my twitter/facebook pages, I’ll say it one more time : PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING I WRITE THAT’S NOT A MUSIC RELATED POST IS A ME JOKING AROUND. IT MAY SEEM LIKE I CARE DEEPLY ABOUT THIS THING I’M TALKING ABOUT, BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU, 98% OF THE TIME, I DO NOT CARE IN THE SLIGHTEST. I’M JUST FUCKING AROUND. EVEN IF IT’S A 1000 WORD WRITE UP ON MY BLOG ABOUT SOMETHING TRIVIAL, I PROMISE, WHEN IT’S ALL SAID AND DONE, I REALLY DON’T GIVE A SHIT.
Good? okay…let’s move on.

Have you ever fucked a porn star? I think about it but then again it goes against my morals.

Nope. I think people might assume I have cause I have few porn buddies on twitter but
I’ve never even gotten close. I’ve never even boned a stripper.
The idea of having sex with a porn star is way more exciting and frightening when you’ve never met one. They’re actually pretty normal girls (in some ways). So, like 15 years ago I would probably been scared to death to have sex with one. Partially cause I’d be scared of diseases but also cause I’d be intimidated to have sex with a girl who’s average penis size in take is 10 inches. But nowadays, it’s not as intimidating to me. I mean, I’m wifed up so I obviously would never do that but I’m just saying, doing that doesn’t carry the same stigma as it once did. Sure, porn stars fuck a lot of dudes but I was never one of those guys who would not have sex with a girl cause she’s been with a bunch of dudes. I’ve always felt dudes too hung up on monitoring their sexual partners pasts are kinda pussies. I mean, it’s one thing if she was a needle user but beyond that, who cares? To me, that kinda shit is slut shaming. Not having sex with someone over your own made up morals seems self defeating. If you’re not comfortable with it, that’s fine But don’t do it out of judgement of another person. Cause , really, you’re too good for a porn star? The irony is that most porn actresses probably wouldn’t bone any of us in real life.