Answers for questions vol. 76


Good day everyone. It’s March in NYC and it’s like 60 degrees outside. I dunno whether to put on some sandals and go tanning or start selling all my possessions to start saving up for a really nice panic room for when the tidal wave comes to swallow up Manhattan.
Anyway, send me more questions to Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. The weirder the better. Feel free to stop asking me things like “Do you like (insert rapper here)” cause, really, who cares what I like? I’m 35 and listen to mostly old rap music. My opinion is pretty much useless.
Let’s go…

I’d love to hear any comments you have on digging. How mush utter shit do you listen to and how depressing is it? Are there times when you know what you’re going to find on a record, or records you’re sure are gunna be useless or whatever? I was digging through 5 cent dj promos and it was mostly awful, it was tough to stand it.

The days of digging, for me, are kinda over. I used to sample only dollar bin records but that dried up once record stores caught drift of how much they can charge for a pretty terrible record just cause someone might wanna sample it. Eventually, the only things left in dollar bins were shit that was either way to known or just not usable forms of music. I got to the point where any record I would want to sample was way too expensive and I’m not about to pay like 20-80 bucks for a record just cause it has about 6 seconds of good music on it. I’ve moved from record stores to rare music blogs who post up obscure albums. I dig in the crates using a mouse and I-tunes. After that, the process is pretty much the same though. Now , I just wait for the all the albums to download and listen to them, song by song. It’s still very tedious and most of the music is still terrible outside of the little pieces I’m picking out of it. Though, i’ve been doing this for so many years I can usually tell within 10 seconds of the song whether or not I’m gonna find anything in it. So, that speeds the process for sure.

How about eminem? Whatever you have to say. I’ve got oppinions, but thats irrelevant.
What’s really irrelevant is Eminem. I mean, who the fuck is still checking for this guy that isn’t a teenager? Em was a great talent. When i first heard him , I was floored. But years of shitty taste in beats and just going crazy have not served him well. Nowadays, his music sounds like inspirational christian rap without the christian part. That “I’m not afraid” song is mind boggling. Was it made just so it could be used in a commercial for the Army? What the fuck is wrong with that dude…

Say a genie pops out of your bottle of lube after you get done jerking to Brazilian fart porn, which I know you love, genie says to you “Tony, if you vow to never jerk off/have an orgasm ever again there will be no more hunger or violence in the world…if you decide against it 10,000 more people will die a day and you will only live another 5 years..” What do you do?

Wow, this genie is a fucking asshole. I mean, I guess he’d (literally) force my hand and make me not jerk off. I don’t think busting nuts for five years is worth the world ending.
A life without busting nuts is a rough one though. I’d probably be an insomniac and always grumpy…but I suppose that would be a fair trade off for world peace. I’m not a selfless man by any means but i’m also not a psychopath. Goddamnit…on second thought, I wouldn’t choose and I’d try to beat the genie to death with the lube bottle.

You get asked about other trip hop a lot, but what about stuff like rock, classical, drum n bass, I dunno, other stuff outside of hip hop. Are you into anything else?

I like a little rock here and there…rarely anything new though. I listen to tons of old soul. I like reggae (the older the better). Outside of that, I may like a random song here or there form other genre’s but it’s not common. I don’t and have never listened to anything like Drum and bass, jungle, house, techno, ect…It’s just not my thing. It’s dance music and , unless I’m drunk, I’m not a dancer. Even then, if I hear any of those genre’s, I’m leaving that place I’m in.

How do you go about performing your tracks live, as in when you aren’t just DJ;ing. Do you use ableton / controller? Do you have your stems separated? How do you manipulate the tracks? Any insight would be much appreciated!

My live performance is pretty simple. I use ableton and a trigger pad. I pretty much just have all my sounds chopped up and organized and I sequence live, using the trigger pad. I use the effects on abelton as well.
Almost all the stems are separated. In fact , there’s a small portion of songs I can’t really perform (mostly songs from “Uncle tony’s coloring book”) that I can’t really execute how I’d like to cause I don’t have the stems for them. It sucks cause some of that stuff is really well suited for my live set.

would you rather fuck Madonna without a rubber or be tied to a tree while a hungry grizzly bear licks honey off your nuts?

Depends if the bear is friendly. The rubber is inconsequential for my decision. I mean, if madonna got herpes, that’s like 85th reason on the list of why I wouldn’t want to fuck her. So, as long as all he wants is honey and he’d leave once the honey was gone (and without taking a bite out of my pelvis), I’d choose the bear ball bath.

Hey Block We all know you hate the lakers but what do you think of the david stern veto now that 2 months have passed? The hornets are awful and have the worst record in the league.

It’s hard to say cause of eric gordon’s injury. They’ve just had a rough season in general with injuries so there’s really no way to tell how good they would have been. That said, they’d probably be a lottery team regarldess…but I think they woulda been if they hadn’t traded Paul.
I was happy Stern vetoed the Laker trade cause, like you said, I’m not a lakers fan. But I’d be full of shit if I said it was fair to the lakers.

Since the past few A’s for Q’s have had your opinions on rappers or other artists I figured i’d ask a few myself. What’s your opinion on MF Doom and Kool Keith and the “supervillain rapper” thing? Doom and dr.octagon have both been part of my top 5 favorite rappers for a very long time.

I’m a big fan of both Doom and Kool Keith. They’re very similar in that they both have super hero/villain alias’ and they both went through extremely prolific periods where they turned out some really quality material.
I will say this though, in general, I find when rappers take on Alter-ego’s to be really fucking corny and contrived. It’s some half baked excuse for them to rap slightly differently but, in reality, it’s just them being them. Doom and Dr. Octagon are separate of that to me though…unlike Nicki Minaj’s “Roman” character , which is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.

After much waffling, and a few free download searches..sorry..I drunkenly caved in and made an official ITunes purchase of music by cavelight and the music scene. I never heard of you before coming across your blog in a search for “scared straight 99″ on google. I was hooked and now follow the blog religiously. That in turn got me interested in the albums, and I must say they are great. But it got me wondering, which would you prefer at this point? If you had a choice between me buying the albums once and never visiting the blog again, or never buying the albums but remaining a loyal reader, which would you choose and why?

That’s tough. I suppose , in this scenario , being a fan of both isn’t possible? Damn you.
I guess I’d want people to buy the albums cause that puts food on my plate. I don’t make money for this blog. It’s a labor of love, so really, if I lose a reader but gain a music fan , I could live with that.
I will say this though, anytime I’m out doing shows and someone gives me props on my blog, it makes my day. Almost more than when they’re like “Hey, I really like your music” cause this blog is something different. It’s more me than my music is, if that makes sense. So, when people appreciate the blog, i feel like it’s directly about me, as a person. Where as my music is something different. I dunno…I think you should both buy my music and read this blog…Don’t be a dick.

10 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 76

  1. yup, about the quality of the questions.. last week I asked u if u like fishsticks, but it was just a south park joke, do u like to put fish sticks in your mouth.. etc hahaah

  2. I got one for you, maybe somebody already touched that story:
    There is a woman , Hazel Jones, that was born with two vaginas (and she’s even pretty hot).
    She seems to be ok with it and said that now after puberty and all kind of shits that a double vagina may have brought in her past (??!?) she has a great sex life, actually she even said that it’s an ice-breaking story at parties. Some weeks ago Vivid (the biggest porn company, they even got the rights on the Kardashian-Ray J flick) offered her a 1 mln dollar contract just to star in one of their films, but she refused and said she would never do it in a million years.
    So the question is: if you had, let’s say uhmmm two dicks, would you like to openly talk about it? And would you consider a 1 mln offer for a porn scene, knowing the obvious impacts that a world wide known sex flick and a 1 mln heavier bank account could bring to your life?

  3. Oh, and about Eminem… I never liked him but I must admit he got some crazy skills. The biggest problems with him right now are: the themes of the lyrics, always about crazy and some psycho stuff, the fact that now when he raps he always screams, after a while it becomes really boring; he has no taste for beats; and the biggest thing… those fucking choruses…. on every song he must sing a fucking chorus but they are completely unlistenable.

    This is the only song that came out from his recent albums that I liked:

  4. Hi, I got a Despot question and that’s a question that shows up every couple of months and has done that for fuckin years now. I know he’s supposedly doing an album with Ratatat (and that’s been the case for 3 or 4 years now, at least) and I thought I saw him tweet something about it coming out this year a couple months ago, but that was that. Since everybody is asking him that question he doesn’t seem to answer it anymore, but maybe you have some scoop on that? Is he the laziest (and one of the best) rapper on Earth?

  5. What kind of info can you see about your visitors on WordPress? I use to run a site 10 years ago and I could see the full name of whoever is paying the internet bill, address, their last visited site before entering my site, what site they left to go visit, all their aliases, computer specs, files, etc etc. If you can see that info and sell it to third parties you can make thousands a day once you reach a few thousand unique IPs visiting daily.

  6. So, I live in a small town and everywhere I go they play country music. Loud. Line dancing and shit. Everyone’s all into it and I can’t stand that crap. I’d rather be the old dog that gets taken out back to be put to sleep than listen to todays country music. I’m pretty much afraid to broach the music topic when it comes to the folks at work, and I’m about to go on a 10 hour car ride with one of them. Mind you, I mostly listen to Hip Hop. Do you have any tricks for opening up to crappy music, or do you think it’s appropriate to launch into a tyraid and start blasting some Bazooka Tooth? Mutch obliged!

  7. I woke up from a wierd & somewhat re-occurring dream today. In said dream i had found a lost stash of Planter’s Cheez Balls. For those who don’t know, these have been discontinued about 6 or 7 years ago. Sadly i was in jail during this most heinous act and never got a chance to properly say my good-byes to one of the only things in life that has always gave me comfort. It, obviously, still haunts me to this day. . . So here is my question to you: Have the fat-cat corporate pricks ever tormented your taste buds by allowing you to fall in love with one of their devilishly delicious products only to take it away from you for eternity, leaving your still-beating heart on the side of a road for some hairy truck-driver to piss all over it while you helplessly watch from a distance? If so, what product? And does the pain ever go away???

  8. did you expect danny brown to blow up like that? i remember you metioned once that white people love weird black artists do you think his recent success has somethig to do with that? (excuse me fo my bad english)

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