Hello and welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”.
It’s that thing where you ask me anything and answer it. A concept as old as time itself.
Anyway, if you’d like to participate, it’s extremely easy. Either leave me a question in the comment section below or email it right to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com.
It’s all anonymous and the more creative you get with the questions, the better.
Here’s this weeks crop.

How much makeup is too much makeup?

I’m one of those guys who barely notices when a girl changes her hair color, let alone puts on make up. But I will say that I think if you’re wearing enough make up to the point where I notice it, it’s probably too much. As a man who has no business talking about make up habits and very little understanding of all things make up related, my understanding is that it’s best when used lightly. Simply to accentuate certain features and hide others. No one needs to go all Kim Kardashian and have her face look like it just rested in a bowl of tobacco spit for 4 hours. In general, I’m a “moderation is key” kinda guy an that should definitely be applied to make up as well.

Have you ever had a vivid sexual dream about someone that you frequently interact with in real life (who you aren’t sexually attracted to) …and you forget all about it until you see them in person the next day… but then you remember said dream and a sudden rush of weirdness washes all over you???

I honestly haven’t had many vivid sex dreams in my life that I remembered. I’d say a more applicable version of this would be when I’ve been jerking off and a random girl I know that’s I’m marginally attracted to slips into my mind. That’s always a bug out. Though, it doesn’t really carry over into any awkwardness when I see them. It’s not like they know about it. Also, it will make me think “hmm…maybe i kinda wanna have sex with that girl and i never noticed…”
A real boss move would be to tell them and just make everything totally uncomfortable between us. What girl doesn’t wanna hear she was an unexpected guest in a guys random masturbation session?

Who looks the best in their glasses?


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It should be noted that I do not and have never owned a pair of glasses of any sort in my life. So, you know, this isn’t exactly my specialty.
My Vote goes to T-Pain. I’m a simple man and those subtle yellow frames are the only pair, of the three, that don’t scream “somebody! Please look at me! I’m famous and , because of that, have been given cart blanche to look like a dickhead!”
Flo-rida’s are the worst. Those are sunglasses Chris Tucker probably wore in the “Fifth Element”. 2-Chainz hat/sunglasses combo is atrocious but at least he kinda looks like Sly Stone in some really abstract way.

How big of a bitch am i for getting salty that buying a vinyl copy of a newly released album from the artist/label doesn’t automatically include a digital download of said album? In order to get both versions, there is a price that essentially includes the cost of buying the digital version alone combined with the cost of buying the vinyl version alone, with a couple dollars knocked off. (i feel compelled to qualify my frequency of buying music, but whatever, it shouldn’t matter, in general i feel like that’s kind of a poopey deal, and kind of stings of pretentiousness. But that could also just be the smell of an artist trying to survive on their art)

I mean, you can always just illegally download the album, right? That’s still not hard to do. I do think that putting a digital download in vinyl is the right thing to do but not every person/label even remembers to do that. in fact, you asking this very question just reminded me that I should probably do that when I release my new album on Vinyl. Imagine if I didn’t have a blog that had an answers and questions segment! I would have 100% forgot. So, in a way, thanks!

What is the state of hip hop right now in your opinion? dying, thriving, what.. in 2014
So, people are still concerned over the state of hip hop? I can’t believe that’s still a thing. We’re so far past keeping any element of the “culture” intact that questions like this are basically comical. There is no “state of hip hop”. It simply exists for better or worse. It’s not like it’s ever going to just stop. There is good hip hop and bad hip hop. It’s always been that way. On a pop level, it’s pretty atrocious and rappers who are seemingly disabled have never been more popular but, at the same time, lyrical miracle underground rappers are just as boring. The bright side is that there will always be a handful of good rappers making good music. Some are creative and finding newer ways to express themselves and others are more traditional but just have the talent to simply rap well and keep things interesting.
Either way, anyone over the age of 30, sitting around worrying about “The state of hip hop” has got their priorities all fucked up.

What do you like better – the smell of your own armpits or the smell of your farts?

My armpits don’t smell, in general. But, when they do, it’s not a smell I love. My farts however, are terrible and I love them. Sure, they may one day be the reason I’m found dead in my bed with scissors sticking out of my chest at the hands of my girlfriend but, man, my own farts? Excellent and terrible. Who doesn’t love basking is their own farts? Savages, that’s who.

What season do you think is your busiest, in terms of your occupation? When do you think you have the least free time – summer, fall, winter or spring?

Fall is generally the busiest for me cause it’s when I do my most touring. Winter/early spring is a close second for the same reason. I dunno if being on the road makes me “busy” in the sense you’re asking cause it’s not like I’m creating music. In fact, creatively, it’s one of my least “busy” times. But I’m “working” the most. I’d say, creatively, I tend to make the most music in the beginning of winter. I’m usually just back from the road and somewhat inspired. Being on the road will do that to you. Summers too. The thing about the summer is that the only shows that exist are festival shows so I have tons of free time. It’s technically a great time to make music. Only problem is, it’s summer and I’m always trying to be out and about when I can so sometimes that takes over a little.

Wow. 200 of these. How? why? It amazes me you people still send me questions and for that, I’m grateful. If you’d like keep this party going, send me your questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Get weird. Get creative. This is for entertainment so a boring question isn’t helping anyone.
Also, this might be a good time to thank everyone who has submitted a question over the years. Without you, I’d be doing a little less with my monday mornings and for that, I want you to know you’re appreciated.
Anyway, let’s get into this weeks batch.

views on public crotch scratching?

Listen, sometimes a person has an itch that needs to be scratched. I think protocol for doing it in public is to be as quick and nonchalant as possible. You can’t be digging around in your underwear for too long before it starts looking like something else. It’s similar to scratching/picking your nose. If you do it too long , with too much zeal, people are gonna think you’re picking instead of scratching.
Personally, when i have an itchy crotch, I do my best to just knock it out with one movement and I try to make it look like an adjustment, rather than a full on scratch. Ideally, I’m just trying to not be that guy on the train with his arm down his pants to his elbow, vigorously “scratching”. Pretty sure you can get a ticket for that. In fact, depending on who’s sitting near you when you do it, you might get put on a list and have to tell everyone in your neighbor hood about how you can’t go within 50 feet of schools. Not a good look.

So what’s the best way to get in contact with talented producers and find the right beats? I need real good production and not “youtube-beats”. Do you have any advice when it comes to searching for the perfect sounds fitting my concept and where to look/get in touch with people? I don’t mind spending money if it means I’ll get the real deal.

I really don’t know. I’ve never needed beats. I’d imagine soundcloud would be a great place to find talented people willing to working with strangers. If you’re speaking on more established people, you probably will have to go through their management. That’s how I’ve always done it. A great way to get ignored is to hit up established artists via twitter or facebook. Pretty sure that’s worked maybe .0000293281% of the time so ,if i were you, I’d skip that.
You know what might me a good way to do it? Go through my old demo reviews and look for a guy who makes stuff that fits your interests. Hit him up and take it from there. I see that working way better than just seeking out some guy you’re a fan of and over paying for his throwaway tracks. You gotta find a person who’s at the same level as you and who has the same hunger. Preferably, someone willing to work with you for free cause neither of you have anything to lose.

If you were in a different position and had to make ends meet, which of the following nyc jobs would be the least appealing to you:

A) Telemarketer
B) Weed Delivery Guy
C) Sidewalk Petitioner (many ppl think that they’re volunteers, but I’m quite certain they’re paid)

C by a landslide. Not only is that humiliating work, those people are some of the most annoying people on earth. Not only are they relentless but they are smug and they also use guilt to force your hand. Like , I’ll be walking down the street , going to get my lunch, and they’ll be like “Do you support gay rights?!” Well…yeah…of course…but I just wanna go get my lunch. I don’t wanna be on a mailing list and i don’t wanna donate money to a stranger on the street cause he has a clipboard. But if you say “nah”, you look like an asshole. They also sometimes do that thing where they’ll walk up to you and shake you hand like they know you. That’s the worst for me cause I often forget that I’ve met people (especially at shows and stuff like that) and I end up wracking my brain trying to remember who this person is. Turns out they’re a total stranger who’s way too comfortable with his job of annoying people. There are literally dozens of streets near where I live that I no longer walk down during the day specifically to avoid dealing with these people.
Side note, aside from the danger of being arrested, being a weed delivery guy seems like it might be kinda fun.

I was wondering what equipment you listen to music on? I consider myself an audiophile and without my high end headphones I could not explore and enjoy all of the subtle nuances in your music and others’ music. What are your thoughts on sound quality in general?
I’m not an audiophile at all. Not even close. I listen to music on some decent bose speakers and my Ipod headphones are some bullshit sony ear buds. I feel as though, coming up in an era where a lot of what i listened to was third generation cassette re-recordings off of radio shows set the bar pretty low. I love a good sound system but I don’t generally listen to music that loud anyway. The only team it really matters is when I’m mixing something of mine, but other than that, I’m pretty lo-fi in general.

What is you male take on some recent women’s fashion trends? Specifically: high-waisted shorts and maxi (floor length) dresses and skirts. I’m in my early 20s but I can’t get down with wearing either of these, even though they are popular among my peer group. When I wear either, I feel way too much like my mom in the 90s. I don’t think either are particularly flattering either, I swear I’ve never met a guy who likes those high shorts haha. What do you think?
To add to that also: What has been your favorite and least favorite fashion trend(s) over the years. For men or women. And, yes, I understand this is probably coming from a dude who isn’t big into fashion and your opinions on women’s clothing are probably whatever is the most “sexy” or “attractive”.
Like all men, I’m not a fan of the high waisted shorts/pants/jeans. It’s as if you ladies sought out the least flattering style of pants and all agreed to make it a thing. Not only do they make even a fit girl look like she has a slight gunt, they also ruin perfectly good asses. It really boggles my mind that any girl would want to look like that.
The maxi dress thing is new to me. I’m not even clear what it is but , in general, if I see a girl with a skirt down to the floor, I assume she’s an orthodox jew or something. That said, those don’t bother me as much cause, honestly, I don’t see them as often as the high waisted pants craze.
Take this all with a grain of salt though cause I’m a guy who truly misses the low rise jean era so, clearly, my fashion sense isn’t ruled by class. I realize how corny those pants were but, goddamn, they were the most boner inducing pants prior to girls who wear leggings and nothing else.
As favorite fashion things…girls in leggings/yoga pants are my #1. Sorry. I know that’s like being a yankee fan not from NY but it is what it is. Male fashion? I don’t fucking know. I’m a middle of the road, never wear anything flashy kinda guy. so I’m a fan of anything that isn’t “extra”. I like plain shit for men. I think when men try too hard with fashion, they look like assholes. “caring” in general, if respect to male fashion, is not a good look in my opinion.
Least favorite fashion things…I already got into the high waisted pants thing but another thing girls have embraced recently are some raggedy ass huckleberry fin jeans. Like dumpy jeans with holes in the knees. It’s like the new sweat pants of something. Well, it looks like shit and might as well be a potato sack. Not a fan of that. You’d look better in male dockers. As for guys, anything flashy is wack to me. The super skinny jean craze has passed, and that’s a relief cause that was truly awful for everyone involved. I don’t even wanna be able to see a dude dickhead print in public. and , of course, any open toed shoe on a man in any urban setting is completely unacceptable.

A year from now I should be spending a couple months in Brooklyn Heights. With you being such a NYC aficionado, I’d figured I’d ask you. Do you have any experience with the area? Anything I should be sure to check out? Anything I should stay away from? Also, as clique as it is, any tips to not stick out like a sore thumb (as a non-New Yorker)? Any other parts of the city, not to far from that part, that are must-see? Sorry, I know you are looking for more weird, interesting, out-there questions but I’m curious.

I honestly haven’t been to brooklyn heights since high school. It’s a quiet and very wealthy neighborhood. Probably one of the “nicest” hoods in all of Brooklyn. I’d guess there is tons of good food there but, like I said, I haven’t been there in over 15 years. Just know it’s safe and being an out of towner won’t stick out much there. I’d imagine, at this point, it’s pretty much all wealthy professionals who have kids and have lived in NYC for less than 10 years. You’ll fit right in.
To be honest, I am not a Brooklyn aficionado on any level. I’m familiar with , like, 3 areas and that’s it. If you got Manhattan questions, I’m your guy. But Brooklyn is a place I’ll still get lost in if I get off on the wrong side of the train.