Answers for questions vol. 188

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What’s up,
Welcome back. I hope your long weekend was satisfying. Mine was extra long as my brother got married. Congrats to Nice and Michelle! In other news, it’s warm out.
So, this is where you guys throw me questions and I answer them. The thing about this column is that it cannot exist without you. so, if you’d like to become part of the magic, I’mma need to to send me questions. Either leave them in the comment section below or email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com. Either or. Be creative. Be weird. My answers are only as good as the questions you ask.
So, let’s get into this weeks batch.

How do you “feel” about the following term?
feminist

Hmmm…I don’t really feel one way or another about it. It’s a word that has so any different meanings to so many different people it’s kind of impossible for me to pin point a feeling it gives me. For every Gloria Steinem there’s a Courtney Stodden, and both of them consider themselves “feminists”. Who’s to say what it really is? (Though, I’d guess it’s leaning HEAVILY towards Steinem and away from the demented child bride with the huge fake tits).

I doubt you’ll answer this question but, I’m assuming you quit weed, but when I smoke it helps me create really interesting beats and melodies. Have any other drugs inspired your music (not saying that marijuana is necessarily an inspiration for your music)? I’m just curious because I feel that marijuana can help create some pretty dope music, by helping bring out several ideas in such persons mind. I really like how your music kinda has this underlying melancholic feel to it.

The only thing weed ever did for me, musically, was either help me enjoy listening to it more or help my freestyles when i used to rap. Back when I smoked, I tried making beats and they never came out well. While i was making them, in my mind, I was making the best shit ever then, the next day when I’d revisit them sober, I’d realize they were not only bad, but they were mixed terribly and out of tune.
As for other drugs, I never tried or wanted to. It’s not like I’m gonna pop some mushrooms and then make a beat. If I’m tripping on shrooms, I’m gonna wanna be doing other shit. Though, I have often wondered what the outcome of that would be. I recall trying to write rhymes when I was shrooming and that didn’t work at all.
Basically, I’m just not one of those functional drug guys. If I do them, I’m not trying to add any element of responsibility or focus to them. And under rated thing about making beats (for me at least) is that there’s a type of math involved. Critical thinking as well. And I’m trying to do either of those things when I’m high.

If the following individuals can be so bad at their respective ages, why you gotta be such a wimp about getting old at 37?

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Well, for one, I’m not them. That’s a start. I can’t even touch my toes. So those old flexible motherfuckers are just a different breed of human than me. As for buff senior guy, that looks photoshopped. I really hope it’s photoshopped. Or, better yet, he’s only 35 and has just lived a drug fueled party life and his face has aged terribly. Also, genetics.

Hypothetically, who would be a more inappropriately matched celebrity couple to you – Orlando Bloom & Selena Gomez or Miranda Kerr & Justin Bieber?

Bloom and gomez. Sure, he’s a older than her and probably very different in all ways but men have been known to “date cute”. A really handsome dude dating a very cute (but not stunningly beautiful) girl is not abnormal. Meanwhile, A 6 foot tall model dating a 5’7” wigger asshole was only really a thing in the 90’s. Beibz couldn’t bag a girl like that. He does way better with girls who are shorter than him that pose on instagram in their underwear. I feel as that most women, past a certain age, see through the “Bieber mystique”. He’s like a “rebel” in the eyes of girls who have never met a real rebel. He’s basically the pop singer version of this little prick:
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Have you ever been chubby? What age were you when you were at your heaviest?

You mean aside from this very moment? Yes.
In 5th grade, before i started growing, I was kinda chubby.
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I was also one of those slob ass kids who refused to bath regularly and wore the same clothes for a week in a row. My principal actually pulled me into her office once and told me “Look Tony, You’re a cute kid but you gotta get it together. You’re dirty and your clothes are disgusting…” It was surreal…but, on the same tip, my friends older sister saw my unintentionally ripped jeans and told me they were really cool so, you know, there was definitely two sides to it.
But the heaviest I’ve ever been was 210. Probably 5 years ago. I generally weigh between like 198-204 so, thus far, it’s never gotten totally out of control. That said, I’m in the midst of a serious long term injury (torn abdomen muscle) that’s made it impossible for me to exercise with any regularity since the beginning of the year so i might top that 210 in the very near future. Yay! Kill me.

Just saw a documentary about The Big East Bball leauge the players were amazing, coaches were characters and the games were insanely entertaining with the rivalries and so on getting so intense. Did you go to or watch any of these games what was it like vs a regular NBA game?
Who did you root for?

I don’t fuck with college sports at all. Not in the slightest. Not even the final four. i tried watching a little of it but it was simply just not good enough basketball. The drop off in talent between that and pro basketball is so vast, it’s crazy. I get that people like the “rough around the edges” and the “at least they’re not overpayed athletes!” aspects of it but, for me, I want to see the best players play. Not a bunch of kids who took a science test earlier that day.

I’ve got a really really pressing question:

I use last.fm to track my music and check my profile every so often to make sure I’m keeping my hipster cred (although never actually tell me I’m a hipster, I’ll deny it). Recently I’ve been having an issue where I’ll be listening to an artist whose name is shared with a modern, more popular artist. As an example, I love “Ball of Eyes” by the jazz-rock band Placebo, but it scrobbles as being by some alternative-rock band. Similarly, I’ve been bumping “Original Man” by the prog-rock group Riff Raff, and I’m sure you can see the problems I get into there.

I don’t really have this issue with the bulk of my music, since U.K. Garage and Witch House producers usually have the decency to at least pick a name that no sane artist trying to get ahead would have.

What should I do to fix this situation? I’m loosing hipster cred by the minute. Please help!

Oh man. That’s tough. How have you been able to sleep at night? What will your witch house friends think? Holy shit, can you imagine what they say about you at the bi-weekly Witch house tea party? I bet they’re all like “umm…did you see Kyle’s LastFM scrobbles? umm…hellooooooooo….not even half of them had upside letters and spell black like “BLVCK”.” Dude, I feel your pain. I think what you might need to do is just stop listening to the prog rock Riff Raff and just take the loss. Otherwise, who are you really? I’ve seen people get their cool guy license revoked for less!

Answers for questions vol. 187

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Hey there. Is it summer? Starting to feel like summer. More importantly, is it bare midriff season yet? I hope so. Not for me to wear them but, you know what I mean.
Anyway, welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. You ask, I answer. If you’d like to take part in this legacy, join in. Send me questions at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or simply leave them in the comment section below. I accept all questions but prefer ones with a little creativity. Come on, you know you can do it.
So, let’s get into this weeks batch and see what’s popping.

Would you rather have all of your clothing come from Hot Topic so you look like some lame ass 90s Raver for the rest of your life OR would you agree to eat your own feces once a year. No one would know you had to eat it so socially you’d be OK but each year on New Years Eve you would have to sneak off and consume your own shit?

This is tough cause, while dressing like a 90’s raver would be humiliating, it would also be extremely comfortable. I was speaking to a friend just yesterday who was talking about how the 90’s is coming back, style wise, and all I could think about was “Oh man…the comfort of baggy clothing…I miss it so much”. As for the shit eating, it depends how much shit. Like If I could swallow a capsule full of it once a year, I might be willing to do that. I’d imagine , even that would make me pretty sick though but that would easily be better than looking like an old raver until I die. But If I had to eat an entire dump with a knife and fork (or maybe even just a spoon), that would be a problem for me. I’d Imagine I’d get sick before, during and after. Like, REALLY sick. Hmmm…You know what, I think I’ll go with the raver clothing and just try to own it. I’d be that guy in his early 60’s , rocking JNCO’s and a visor. Killing the game.
Side note, I wonder what the cut off in age for is in the rave world that old dudes can still get laid within that scene? Sometime , shows I play are strangely rave like and I’ll see some people a good ten years older than me , dancing and dressing like children. If THOSE guys are still getting action than that makes the first option even more doable.

What’s up Blockhead, I was just wondering how your music sounds so clean and polished. I know a lot of that comes from the mixing and final mastering, but since your music is mainly sample-based how do you get that to sound so clean? I don’t hear any of the vinyl crackle or anything and it frustrates me trying to get my samples to sound so clean in my sp-404. I realize this might be one of those secrets to keep to yourself but if you could shed any light on how to get sample-based productions to sound polished or where I could go to learn about it, I would really appreciate it.

I never really thought about that. I guess it’s clean cause, if I come across a particularly crusty record, I don’t sample from it. I actually like a little vinyl crackle mixed in there. Another thing you might be ignoring is filters. They make a huge difference when cleaning up sounds. Basically, if you have a sample and want a certain aspect of it to be the focal point, you can filter out highs, lows, and mids accordingly. That can definitely help tidy up a crusty ass loop.

No one can know for sure, yet I just have this “feeling” that the type of pain women feel when they’re period cramping is exceptionally similar to how men feel when they’re hit in the balls. For funsies…can you please describe what it feels like to get sacked in that area?
(In my mind, the range of pain is different: I think women can feel it very mildly with light cramps all the way to (probably) excruciating with contractions – whereas it would be more of a consistent level of pain for men – but I think the sensation is most likely the exact same.)

I would argue that the pain men feel when being hit in the balls is MUCH more extreme when the contact happens but , obviously, way more fleeting. I say this cause if women felt like they got kicked in the balls during period cramps, you’d see women rolling around on the ground holding their uterus all over the place. Like grocery store isles and waiting on line at the bank. Unless you ALL do that in the privacy of your home. Do you? If so, that’s an amazingly well kept secret of suffering.
As for how it feels to be hit in the balls. It fucking hurts. It’s immobilizing (that’s why you ladies should do it anytime a dude is attacking you. No man can not feel it so it’s fool proof). It’s a swelling plain that crescendos. At first, there is the immediate pain but also a bit of fear cause you realize what’s in store. As the body realizes what has happens, the pain vibrates in your nutsuck and seemingly sends pain every which way. Your groin feels it but it really settles in your stomach. It doesn’t feel like some one punched you in the stomach. It feels kinda like there is a hand inside your gut aggressively rattling your stomach muscles. All you can do is wait it out. The best I can describe the pain is “vibrating”. It goes in waves and it’s relentless until it finally fades. I should also add that getting kicked hard and getting lightly tapped in the right spot hurt the same. Only difference is the hard kick will hurt for longer. The light tap on the nuts is almost work cause that pain swells when you expect it not to. A good visual to explain the pain would be like ringing an old bell. The way that sound resonates is very similar to how our balls feel and how the pain lingers.

I have seen Aesop live twice now, and one thing that has struck me unique about his on-stage style is the way he moves his body. Hard to put into words – but it’s like he subtly moves his arms/legs in order to tap into this intrinsic metronome to get into that certain head space (no matter where he’s playing). At first I thought it was for nerve-calming, which I bet it is, but the even “realler” reason is to calm higher order brain activity in order to recall all that lyrical material. Anyways, I’m obviously not a rapper but (ahem) I am seriously one of the baddest bitches when it comes to memorization skills. And what a lot of people misunderstand about that is they assume when I’m put on the spot to recall things, that I’m trying to get my brain to work so hard, when in reality it’s the total opposite.

So…TWO QUESTIONS:
A) What is your take about how Aesop Rock moves on stage? Do you also think it’s related to calming his nerves & the ability to concentrate?

B) Has he ever had a physical injury that you know of while being on tour or doing a show that has ever affected his performance?

Very strange question. Have you not seen many rap shows? Rappers all have a style in which they move on stage and body language while delivering their lyrics. Aesop’s is actually a style I’ve seen MULTIPLE rappers bite. It’s actually an underrated aspect of his live performance cause people have been copying it for years. As for your questions,
1)I think he looks cool up there. I don’t think it’s nerve related whatsoever. I think he knows exactly what he’s doing and has cultivated that style over the years. While, Im sure part of it, stems from the type of rapping he does (I mean, shit, can you imagine remembering all those fucking words?!!?) but , to me, it’s a presence of full on confidence. I’m sure concentration comes in there too. Ever see Percee P rap? He does this finger pointing thing where it looks like he’s playing an air saxaphone with every syllable. I’d imagine that’s just how rappers visualize their words sometimes. Go to around 1:19 and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

2)Hmm…not that I know of. He’s been hurt and sick before but I can’t recall him being on the road with a serious injury. But, then again, he and I have only toured together once so I really couldn’t tell you with 100% certainty.

Which classic girlfriend trait would you say is more irritating or annoying to you:

A) “I’ll be ready to go in 15mins!* just need to change outfits and put on some makeup” *Otherwise known as 37-42 real time minutes

OR

B) Sneaking in a comment/joke* while watching an episode of his favorite show
*mostly staying quiet, but mentioning one or two things juuust at that moment where it ruins the subtle nuances of an intense scene

Oh, A by a landslide. I LOATH waiting. But worse than that, I hate poor time management. Reason being, I’m one of those early to everything types (I’m actually highly OCD about being timely so it’s even worse for me) and I’m generally ready to go in like 2 minutes tops. Like, if I had to gather all my shit and be out the house in 5 minutes cause there was a fire, I could do that easily. I’ve never had a GF who didn’t take a long time to get her shit together and it’s always annoying. Not just girlfriends though..girls in general. I realize they need more time for prepping but I just wish they’d learn to start earlier than they think they need to…cause , like the question says, 15 minutes is never 15 minutes.
The second thing is annoying but I don’t really think of that as a classic girlfriend trait. I actually know way more dudes who do that. Or the variation of it where you’re trying to watch something with a group of people and that one asshole is clearly too ADD to focus so he tries to carry on conversations during crucial parts of the show. That shit is fucking annoying…but at least dvr exists now. I can always watch it again. Where as, waiting to leave? I’ll never get that time back.

what albumed song of yours took the most amount of working hours to make? least amount?

whats an imaginary genre of music you think might exist in say 2050?

I honestly don’t know. My songs get made over long periods of times and out of order. When I make an album, I’m usually pulling from a well of finished beats I had worked on since the last album…so that work was done a long time ago. I will say that , on my last album, the song “Beyond reach” took me a long time to put together.

I had some major issues with the break between the verses that I had to really figure out like a math equation.
As for least amount? It’s hard to say. A Song like Serenade was pretty simple. It had like 3 parts and all I had to do was find the right sequencing.

As for the second question, I bet the genre’s that exist with be mostly drone like. Like , for mellow people, a one note hum sound with some sort of sparse percussion on it. Think “Bjork but with less musicality”. Or for the more aggressive people, it’ll be like a static sound with industrial drums. In other words, music is gonna REALLY suck in 25 years.

expanding on the idea of you putting out your next album on your own (if it comes to that) – why wouldnt you just do that? cut the middle man and just bandcamp it or something.
in this day and age is the label doing much to even earn that cut? seems like you’ve developed a pretty loyal fanbase, and have also fostered a really strong social media relationship with them (via this, FB, twitter, etc) – such that it would be pretty easy / lucrative (?) to just drop it and promote it yourself?

I would rather not do it cause it’s a pain in the ass and I’m lazy. I didn’t get into music to have to deal with the business side. It’s unavoidable but, if I can, I like to limit that aspect of it as much as possible. Also, it costs money. I mean, i could just put an album out into the ether and a few people will check it out. I might sell a few thousand copies with no promotion outside of myself…but I’d rather spread the word further and that can’t be done without spending some money. The idea of losing money on an album is infuriating. I’ve only just come to terms with accepting that, as a musician in this day and age, no one buys shit and albums are basically just promotional material for touring but to lose money on the actual art I create? Fuck that. I’d rather break even with a label and make my money touring than cover all the costs myself (Press, getting vinyl/cd’s made, etc…). as well as deal with all the minutia (radio play, licensing, artwork, getting it on digital download sites) that you don’t even consider when making music.
That said, we shall see. If I put it out myself, it’s cause that was my only option. I’m hoping that won’t become a reality but if it does, I’ll deal with it. It’s not the end of the world.

Answers for questions vol. 186

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Welcome all! To you non-east coast people, this will mean nothing but, summer is here! At least for the day or until it starts pouring rain again. But ,hey, we take what we can get.
Anyway, this is where you guys ask me stuff and I answer it. This weeks batch is actually a great example of interesting questions. They’re all over the place and never trite. If you’d like to join the fun, please do! Send questions to my email phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below.
Both work equally well.
So let’s get into it…

Real question:
I’m going to visit New York for the first time ever for a week in June (Brooklyn to be specific). What are 5 cool things I should do? (Or not do?)

I’m way too out of the loop to tell you cool places to go. I mean, bars? Restaurants? Those are fun. Brooklyn is full of them. I’ve never been one for museums or…well…really anything in that realm. I can tell you a few things not to do.
Unless you’re dying to see central park, there’s no reason to go above 23rd street in Manhattan. Avoid midtown like your life depended on it. Don’t go on those weird “hip hop” tours in the bronx where they drive you around and show you the projects all the dudes who started hip hop lived in. Those are a rip off. On the same note, don’t go on the west village walking tours where they walk you around Greenwich Village and make up lies about the old buildings. I was coming home from my mom’s house a few weeks ago and passed one of those tours and overheard this leader tell the group that a certain house (on the corner I grew up on) was where Miles davis and Woody Allen once roomed together in the 60’s. Spoiler Alert: That house was built in the last 20 years. Those tours are BULLLLLLLSHIT.
Let’s see…what else…Skip going to the empire state building. It’s just a business building. My accountant works there. No need to see the statue of liberty either. It’s a long way to go to see a statue.
My advice for a good time in NYC is to simply explore different neighborhoods by foot. Take the train if it’s too far to walk. Walking around is key though. There’s no city like NYC in the US, in that respect. You’re gonna be in brooklyn though , so I’d guess you’re staying with some hipster friends…which is good. Just let them take you to their local spots. I’m sure it will be fun. Bring an umbrella though cause it’s supposed to rain.

Question:

Do you think people who are into celebrating ‘four-twenty” are the corniest people alive or are you totally indifferent, royal-baby-wedding styles?

PS: I have definitely been a corny-ass 420 celebrating motherfucker in the past, so I personally am not allowed to judge anybody in this manner.

Well…yes. I think adults acting like weed is a lifestyle instead of simply something you smoke when you feel like it, are corny. From owning High times magazines, to making it a conversation piece whenever they can to celebrating 4:20. I feel the same way about wine connoisseurs and Cigar aficionados as well. If you love that stuff, more power to you. But celebrating it like it’s your first time doing it every time is some amatuer hour shit.
I think weed should be legal. Well, lemme amend that…I don’t give a fuck about it enough to think it should be legal or illegal. I don’t smoke so it’s of no concern to me. But, I think it’s not dangerous and would help the economy.
But back to the question, if I’m in a room with someone and they’re earnestly carrying on about the significance of 4:20, best believe my soul is rolling it’s eyes. You wanna smoke, go for it. Don’t be held down my a time constraints, maaaaaaaaan.

Out of these options, which would you pick to have for a month:
1.) The constant feeling of soap in both eyes
2.) Really itchy balls
3.) The feeling that you’re starving to the point that your stomach hurts(even if you just ate)
4.) Or have to tell everyone you encounter in any way that Lil Wayne is God and that you love him

I like a “would you rather” test as much as the next guy but, goddamn these things. They’re always generally 2-4 things that no human could ever live with. For instance, this is a choice between 1)constant sharp pain 2)constant discomfort and embarrassment 3) Constant stomach pain and nausea and 4)constant humiliation.
All those choices would ruin my life in one way or another and I’d probably just kill myself to make it stop. But, if I HAD to chose, I guess I’d chose #4 cause it wouldn’t be physically disabling. While it would make me a shut in and ruin every relationship I have on earth, but ,at least, I’d be pain free.

Have you ever played basketball against a woman who was an equal or better player than you? I don’t know if this a laughable dumb question or not…I know zero about basketball! I just know that whenever I’ve played soccer with guys, as a girl, I’ve taken pride whenever I’ve been better than some of them.

I’ve played basketball with a few women here and there in my life. Mostly pick up games. In my experience, none of those women were very good. At best, they were serviceable. So, no, I’ve never personally played with a girl who was better than me. In fact, in general, the whole mood of the pick up game changed and they generally got treated softly. Like no ones trying to set a hard pick on some girl playing pick up basketball.
That said, clearly, there are some amazing female basketball players who would destroy me with ease if we ever played.
I actually think women have gotten much better in the last 20 years. Probably due to the WNBA existing and expanding basketballs popularity amongst women. I remember watching a WNBA game when it first started and being pretty sure that, if you put me in that league, I could average 20 rebounds a game. I felt that way mostly cause , aside from the point guards, most of the other players payed like stiff frankenstein’s and none of them could even slap the backboard. I was young and could jump out the gym at the time and, honestly, at that age, I think I coulda done it. Nowadays? These girls are soooo much more athletic and bigger. They got power forwards who can run and shoot now. It’s a different ball game altogether.
All that said, the WNBA is still boring as fuck though.

This is obviously uber hypothetical and would never actually happen in real life as we have never even met, but THEORETICALLY… if you and I played a game of tennis against one another, who do you think would win? I think I would. I’m younger than you are, probably a lot quicker and more agile, and competitive as hell when it comes to playing sports. Plus, I’m a lefty, and that throws a lot of people off. What do you think?

This is impossible to say cause I have no idea how good you are. I also haven’t played tennis in like ten years but, when I did, I was pretty good. But yeah…how on earth would I be able to know that. That’s like asking me “who makes a batter brownie? Carly Simon or this girl you know from high school?”.
But don’t sleep on my first serve. It goes in like 15% of the time but that shit’s an ace EVERY time it lands.

From reading your blog, I know that little things don’t tend to affect you too much and that you can be often be described as “indifferent.” But come on…you aren’t a robot! So what sorts of things make you feel embarrassed?

Plenty of things make me feel embarrassed. But I don’t think that feeling and being indifferent share the same space. I’m indifferent about things on a larger scale. Shit that doesn’t effect my life. Like, as I said earlier, weed. I truly don’t care about weed. On another tip, say I hear about an armed robbery in the middle of america that went wrong, I don’t have feelings of empathy about it. My indifference is more on the sociopathic spectrum. I’m removed from things that aren’t around me. But personal embarrassment? Sure. All the time. Saying some dumb shit. Tripping when I walk down the street. I mean, none of this is life altering shit that matters but , in the moment, it’s slightly embarrassing.
To be honest, I find myself more embarrassed and uncomfortable when I’m with someone who’s acting like an asshole. Other people are far more embarrassing to me than I could ever be. Like a person who is rude to a waiter. That shit is mortifying. Really, anyone who thinks they’re above another person and tries to display that in public. Those motherfuckers can eats infinity dicks. Aside from the basic humanity they lack, the idea of being affiliated with them is what makes me feel so humiliated.

For questions and answers.
Had you have grown up in the high speed hardcore internet porn era, how do you think your sexual preferences would have evolved?

Bro…yes. I thank the lord satan himself every day I grew up when I did. In my day, we had to earn the porn. Trading tapes, finding it on the street. And what was on those video tapes probably guided our sexual tastes to this very day. Luckily for me, I saw some decent/normal shit. If I had come up in this era where anal gaping is as normal as kissing, I’m pretty sure I’d be a different person. If i had had access to literally millions of scenes at all times from age 12? I would be a sexual disaster. When you’re that young, you’re brain isn’t ready to go that deep. hell, at age 12, most little boys are able to jerk off to bra ads in a sears catalogue. Do you know how pure that is? Replace that with two dudes double stuffing some girl and spitting in her mouth while slapping her around and you’re gonna have a fucked up deviant who never even had a chance to be normal about sex. And it works both ways…the girls see that shit too and it can only warp their ideals as well.
Porn is porn. It serves it’s purpose but , much like drugs, it’s something you’re better off embracing when you’re old enough to know your limits and understand it better. A 12-15 year old boy who’s never kissed a girl watching the kind of porn that’s out today is a scary prospect. If I grew up in this era, it frightens me how fucked up i’d be. Who knows, if that were the case, I might have shit on my chest and full erection at this very moment.

too much of a good thing cake

Feel free to judge me

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It’s strange that it’s gotten to this point but the phrase “you’re being judgmental” , when typed on the internet, has become one of my least favorite things said by assholes. Wait, is calling people who say that on the internet “assholes” being judgmental? Yup. Very. Here’s the thing though…we are all Judgmental. You. Me. Your mom. Your shrink.That cute old lady. Everyone. Some people are better about it than others and some people take it way overboard but , the fact of the matter is, it’s human nature. To look or hear something and not react to it in some sort of way would be strange. One can simply not care but even that person is judging in some fashion.

So, as a person who writes stuff on the internet as well as makes music for public consumption, I’m pretty used to being judged. For better of for worse. Now, with music, it’s an unavoidable pitfall. I don’t think anyone ever tells budding musicians “Hey, enjoy the creative freedom of making music but just know that you’re entire existence will hinge upon the judgment of others. ESPECIALLY strangers.” That’s something you learn as you go along. In the same sense, you learn to either be affected by it or not. I will say, it’s hard to not feel it at least a little. After all, this is your art. This is what you spend hours working on alone in a room (or where ever you make it). But the domino effect of that process is that, down the line, someone is going to tell you what they think whether you like it or not. That’s just a part of making music. Especially in this day and age when any asshole with an internet connection can bootleg an album, skim through the first 15 seconds of each track then go on a message board or youtube and tell the world how much it sucks. Are they being judgmental? For sure. But that’s just humans being humans. While I think these types are generally pieces of shit, you can’t scold the fish for pissing in the ocean. It’s just how things are and we have to begrudgingly accept it.

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On paper, this should infuriate us all. But the thing about being judgmental is that, if you take a stand against it, you are in fact being judgmental. You are judging the person who you accused of judging something else. The internet is a never ending spiral of this. People calling out other people for doing exactly what they are doing.

As someone who writes dumb tweets daily, I come across these types of people fairly often. They love nothing more than to get up on their virtual soapbox and tell me exactly what a judgmental asshole I am. Admittedly, I invite it with some of the things I may write from time to time. But the irony of them pointing the finger is lost on them. The thing about this whole mindset is that I struggle to see what universe it’s based in. Surely not this one…Not the planet I live on where every single thing a person does, that involves the looking eyes of another person, is somehow scrutinized. It’s not just in a negative sense either. You walk an old lady across the street, people who see you doing that are gonna judge you. The ruling might be “He’s a good person”, but it’s a judgement nonetheless. Judgment is important. It separates people from other people. If we didn’t judge things, people, foods, situations, we’d just walk around like huge bricks of motionless soy products with faces on them, smiling and talking about the weather. As bad as someone judging someone can be, it serves it purpose. It is short sighted to look at a stranger and, based on their outfit, draw an opinion on them. But, at the same time, some people are asking for it. As dangerous as “reading a book by it’s cover” is, I’d guess it’s probably got an 80% success rate. And the fact that we, as humans, have brains that react that way is really not in our control. The best we can do , in attempts to seem like better people, is keep these judgements to ourselves. But to say you don’t have them? Bullshit. No typical person is that zen on the internet or in life. It’s impossible to be. I think that’s what gets me most about the anti-judmental judges. It’s as if they think they live in a world where no one looks at other people and evaluates. unless you’re a buddhist monk, I don’t wanna hear that shit.

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Even the most peaceful, human loving, good natured hippie on earth judges. He may be a lot less of a dick about than say, me, but if you think he’s living life , walking around and not constantly judging everything that goes on around him, you’re insane. I’m sure he saw those new sandals you bought and told you they’re awesome (that’s a judgement). But, on the low, he thought they were simple okay. What a dick.

I embrace being judgmental. It’s how I guide my way through life. Without it, I’d have shitty taste in music, movies, food and friends. Call that being elitist but I question anyone (As well as judge them) who doesn’t do the same. It’s called having taste. It’s called knowing what you like and dislike. To be a person who doesn’t do that…I don’t even know what the point of living would be. Perhaps just living to die without any thoughts in your head or, even worse, ignoring the natural thoughts that run through your brain constantly in an attempt to seem “fair and balanced”.
The idea of being “accepting” of everything is cute but not realistic simply cause most of “everything” is pretty shitty. It’s our job , as humans, to make our own minds up and pick and choose. I’m sure it’s been going on since the caveman days. You think Grog didn’t judge Throlg’s cave art? Of course he did (Grog was a known prick).
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So, as much as it pains me, get your judge on. You’re judging this right now and that’s fine. It’s how this works. Love it or hate, I Accept it. Just do me a solid and NEVER scold me for being judgmental. Not cause it’s not true but because you’re no better than me , no matter what you think…cause you think. Just like me.

Answers for questions vol. 185

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Happy Cinco de Mayo! Or not…isn’t this some made up holiday that only americans celebrate on behalf of latinos? I could be wrong. In fact, I probably am so , please, feel free to not correct me on that cause, seriously, I don’t care. Do you. Drink some beers during the day. That’s what Cinco de mayo is all about, afterall.
Anyway, welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. You ask. I answer. I’m always looking for new and interesting questions so, if you’d like to join the fun, send them my way. Either email them to me: phatfriendblog@gmail.com Or leave them in the comment section below. Both options have a 100% success rate.
So, let’s get into this weeks batch…

Being interviewed. I’m sure it isn’t one of your most favorite things, but what can an interviewer do to make the experience more enjoyable on your end? Can you give some tips for….
A) phone interviews?
B) in-person interviews?
C) in general?

This question feels strangely meta.
I think tips for both phone and in person interviews are the same…
Interviews generally go one of three ways.
1)It’s a person who kinda knows about you, did a quick internet search about you and asks very basic questions like , for me, “Where did your name come from?” or “What’s it like working with aesop rock?”. I’d say most interviews fall into this category and are painless but extremely boring. At best, they’re familiar with one thing you did (with me, it’s my first album. Always).

2)it’s a person who has clearly never heard of you (these are generally for corporations or larger publications) so the questions are along the lines of “What kind of music do you make?” and “Who are your influences?”. These are ALWAYS shitty cause neither you nor the interviewer really wanna be there and you both know that it’s pointless. No one is gonna read that interview and come away from it a new fan or even remotely interested.

3)A person who is actually a fan and they have interesting questions to ask. It’s often nerdy but it’s the best. Honestly, just answering questions that you can tell the person asking is excited about is nice. These tend to go longer and I feel like I get to be myself. The other two kinds generate more “stock answers” while this type of interview is more conversational.
So, basically, the best way to interview someone is to know what you’re talking about, know about their history and don’t ask played out questions. Have your own angle. Unfortunately, I’d say about 5% of all the interviews I’ve done have gone like that.

Hey Block,

Recently I read your movie preview reviews and noticed there weren’t any super hero flicks included. Though you don’t strike me as a comic book geek, I was wondering what your thoughts are on that whole movie sub genre.

With a few exceptions, I don’t give a flying fuck about comic books or comic book movies. Sure, a few of the newer Batman movies were cool (I’m not even remotely into them on the level most people I come across are though). The Avengers was fun. I actually enjoyed a few of the X-men movies the most of all. But, really, when it comes down to it, it’s just not my lane.
I actively loath all things superman and spiderman. Always have. Not to mention they’re really starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel with some of these newer superheroes they’re trying to make happen. Like there is gonna be an “Ant-man” movie? What the fuck is an ant man? It’s a good thing Entourage already deaded “Aquaman” ever happened cause can you imagine what a load of shit that would have been? Yikes.

I’ve seen you write that SATC ruined NYC, could you elaborate on this, if you haven’t already? I’m the kind of dude who likes to have a girlfriend (weird, eh?), and thinks it’s good to do stuff she likes once in a while (especially if it’s watching a tv show, then I can just get a nap if I don’t like it), so I’ve seen a fair share of SATC (actually most of it tbh). It’s not great, it can be super lame, but I also think it has it’s funny moments.

Where I live (Denmark, Europe), I think it influenced a whole generation of young women, in a mostly positive way, so I think it would be interesting to hear a New Yorkers perspective on it.

I’d like to point out that this is the second Sex and the City related question is two weeks. That’s so fucking weird. That shows been off the air for like a decade now, right? And I’m a male adult. Anyway…
I think most men who had girlfriends at that time can relate to being forced to watch a decent amount of Sex in the City. You are not alone, my friend. Though, it sounds like , you secretly kinda like it. Only god can judge you, bro.
Anyway, when I say that SITC ruined NYC , it’s hyperbole. Many things have knocked NYC down a few pegs but SITC is more just a detail. The shittiness that SITC bought to the table is nothing tangible. I think, it showed NYC in a particular light. A glamourous one of expensive martini’s and horse rides through central park. People all over the world saw this and were like “Hey, I wanna live like that!” and decided to move here. Problem is, the majority of NYC isn’t even remotely like that. In fact, all the best parts and aspects of the city could not be less like that. So, these people moved here (by “these people”, I’m speaking mostly of corporate working women from the middle of nowhere and vertical striped shirt wearing grown frat boys who could best be described as “basic”) based on those ideals. It happened at such a fast rate that NYC started adjusting for them. In the past, NYC would just do what it does. You didn’t like it? You didn’t move her. But with this influx of dipshits who , honestly, would never have wanted to live here pre-1999 , the city started changing. It started to become more like SITC and less like the actual city it got famous for being. Now, to say this is all because of SITC is ridiculous but it’s definitely an element and, more so, it’s a metaphor.

Hey block,

I know you’ve already covered yung lean and probably don’t want to give him any more attention. But he’s got a tour all over Europe scheduled now. So what’s the deal? Is he for real? Does he even know what is going on? Is he doing this intentionally like some people think

Someone like 3pac is intentionally bad, that’s easy to tell. Riff raff probably started out unintentionally bad, then recognized what was going on, and now people actually like him for who he is. But with yung lean I just don’t know what to think. I like his beats and his videos are alright, maybe if he was rapping in swedish and I didn’t know what he was saying I wouldn’t be bothered so much by this.

I wrote about him a while back and , to this day, I get a comment or two every day from Yung Lean supporters telling me to go fuck myself. In fact, I’ve stopped even approving comments cause it’s pointless.
http://phatfriend.com/2013/07/24/hey-guys-lets-not-make-yung-lean-a-thing-okay/
The funny thing is that, while I definitely dismiss his music in the article, it’s clear that most of the people commenting didn’t even read it cause they all seem to overlook my point entirely (That being that I was asking the blog media to not make him “A thing”) and just leave super involved messages about how I’m a hater and how Yung Lean is the truth. You can tell a lot about an artist by their fans. I have my share of stinkers (have you read my facebook comments lately?) but this dudes fans are mostly clueless children with bad taste who lack the gift of self expression through the written word.
But, Like I said, I’ve written about him already. My stance hasn’t changed. His newer video isn’t exactly setting my world on fire but, hey, he seems to be settling into a world with a bigger budget.

It should be noted that , as he gets older, it’s clear he’s getting less weird and more just “whatever” as a rapper. He’s always sounded like other rappers but now he’s just sorta sounding typical to his genre. That strangeness is going away. Which kinda disproves anyones case who was saying he’s innovative in any manner whatsoever. He’s just a swedish kid who raps , guys. Sorry.

Quick fire round:
Have you ever been caught masturbating?
No but once my mom walked in while I was scratching my nuts and abruptly left the room cause she assumed I was. That sucked just as much as being caught though.

What’s your personal record for amount of times masturbating in a day?
10 or 11? I was like 12 years old. I think my friends and I used to challenge each other to see who could bust the most clear nuts (when you’re 12, not much real sperm comes out). Then we’d report back. I recall a friend saying he went 14 times. A boy going through puberty’s drive to bust nuts is truly next level. Any time I see a group of 13 year olds I try and avoid getting anywhere near them on the street cause I assume they’ve got sperm all over them.

Favorite porn site?
Depends. fuq.com is good cause it’s like a data base for all the smaller sites. It’s overwhelming sometimes but good if you’re looking for a specific category/person. Otherwise, I just use youjizz.com. It’s used friendly and generally has a few good scenes on the front page so I don’t have to go down any weird rabbit holes to find a good clip.
Man, there is nothing like speaking about masturbation as if it’s a day at the office. I feel like I just wrote a short Yelp review.

Do you believe in ghosts? Why or why not?

I’ve definitely had those “This shit is haunted!” moments but I like to think I don’t actually believe. Thing is, if ghosts exist then that opens doors to a bunch of other shit I definitely don’t believe in (heaven, hell, god ,satan). It would be hard to have one without the others. That said, i definitely believe in the possibility of ghosts way more than those other things so, you know, you never know. But I’m a fairly skeptical person in general so, until something like this is proven to me, I’m not buying it. (just in case though, that was NOT an invitation for some fucking ghost jerk offs to make themselves known in my house. I already got mice. I’m good.)

Have you ever commented on a youtube video that wasn’t related to your own stuff (i dunno if you have your own channel or not)? I have never commented on a video in my life but I’m always curious to know if others have. Are you a youtube commenter, Blockhead?

I think I’ve commented on like two videos in my entire life. One was correcting an incorrect fact about me (I don’t post as “Blockhead” though so who knows how that went over) and the other was me complimenting something or another.
As we all know, youtube comments are where happiness goes to die. Mix that with the fact that I’m prone to getting into pointless arguments on the internet and you’ve got a problem. Because of that trait, I avoid them. I read them at times but, especially where my own music is concerned, I keep my mouth shut.
A word to people who do leave youtube comments: Your parents failed but don’t blame them. Just know, you and only you can make yourself an asshole. It’s a choice. Be a better humans and stop starting arguments over everything. You’re not clever. You’re not interesting. You’re bored and stupid. And that’s a terrible combination.

Answers for questions vol. 184

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Whattup.
How was your week? mine existed as well.
Anyway, this is where you guys send me questions and I answer them. As you will be able to tell from this weeks batch, I take any and all questions. If you’d like to participate, please do! Leave questions in the comment section below or email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com. I always need them so don’t be shy, guy. Without your questions , this cannot exist. You are my blood.
Let’s check this weeks bounty.

A confession: 10 years ago, I used to be a huge SATC fan. So much so that I could obnoxiously tell you that it’s (ahem) Sex AND the City, not SITC. You’re very welcome!

I remember…having a poster up of SJP in my room (next to Audrey Hepburn, naturally). Anxiously awaiting for my download to finish from a thing that rhymes with “schlymewire.” And even occasionally posting quotes from the show as MSN messenger statuses. Sidenote: I know I’m starting to sound “old” but I actually prefer the term “seasoned.” Blockhead, do you think I will always have somewhat terrible taste in pop culture because of this terrible transgression? Can I ever recover??

I’m assuming you’re a girl so, no, this is just a phase some girls go through when growing up. SATC clearly has some allure that draws girls in. The cloths? The fast city living? The incredibly terrible writing and jokes? I dunno. Maybe a little of all that. But , whatever it is, it taps into something. But, let’s be honest here, it’s one of many shows like this. Bravo’s entire network is pretty much made for people who once liked SATC. Also, I should add that there are shows like this that men seem to feel the same way about. It’s called sports.
Can you recover? Sure. As long as you can acknowledge that SATC is a)not realistic 2)a guilty pleasure 3)we all like bad things when we’re young you should be fine. We all make mistakes and if that’s one of your worse ones, then you’re doing okay in life (and you’re a blindingly typical white girl from the late 90’s/2000’s).

On a scale from 1 to 100, how does this -> http://www.buzzfeed.com/krystieyandoli/how-much-of-a-new-yorker-are-you -> Buzzfeed Quiz make you feel?

As it has been documented, forced NYC centric things like this are typically the bane of my existence. But, am I TRULY mad at it? Nah. It’s the worst. I mean, holy shit…it’s bad. I scored a 78 on it but even that was kind of offensive. I think about all the shit it’s asking and it’s kinda comical. It’s pretty much half things ONLY tourists do/tolerate. There are like 7 broadway show related questions for christs sake. But, yeah, this is bullshit and obviously written by a total new jack asshole who’s lived here for 10 years. For instance:
“You’ve had delicious slice of pizza for 99cents”
Nah, son. That Pizza is garbage. I’ve had it…it sucks. It’s what homeless dudes eat and regret.
“Spending 12 dollars in a cocktail doesn’t seem like a lot of money”
Actually, that’s fucking crazy and the second I walk into a place like that I leave.
“You’ve gotten drunk at a bottomless brunch”
This is amateur hour shit right here.
“You’ve taken a ferry to the statue of liberty”
This one is the dead giveaway that a non-new yorker wrote this quiz. No people who are actually from here give a shit about the statue of liberty.
“You’ve spend $5 for a cro-nut” “You’ve gone to magnolia bakery”
again this is literally something only tourists do. The rest of us know better.
“Fuggetabouit is one of your go to saying”
I’ve NEVER heard a person say that seriously in my entire life.

So, on a scale of 1-100, I’d say this pisses me off 78.

Your production pops up on NPR shows every once and a while. I’ve caught it on both “This American Life” and “TED Radio Hour,” which are the top two most popular podcasts on iTunes. Did they seek your permission or did they just sample you?

I don’t really know. I imagine on shows like that they just pay me a little publishing every time it plays. It’s not like it’s a commercial or the theme song to the show. It works similar to if it got played on the radio. fractions of a penny every time my songs get played.

Yo Block, I’m just curious as to what the process of “shopping a new album” is like? By that I mean finding a distributor. I notice that there’s always a considerable amount of time spent between you finishing a project and figuring out who actually releases it. Is it just a lot of bureaucratic bullshit, or do labels really take that long in deciding whether or not they want to put out your music? Specifically, it always seems that Ninja Tune ends up releasing it anyway, so what are they really waiting on? You appear to be a pretty bankable artist for them at this point.

As it is something I’ve doing right now I can tell you all about it.
At this point, I can honestly say Ninja Tune is not going to put out my next album. We had a great run and I got love for those dudes but they’re going in a different direction and the amount of sampling I do has always been an issue. The thing is that , in 2014, the majority of money labels make off of music is done through licensing. When you (or, I) sample, it makes those songs pretty much impossible to license. That’s why you’ve never heard “Insomniac olympics” on a commercial or in a movie. So, while i have been successful for Ninja tune (My records alway recoup and I tour well), on the other side of things, I haven’t done too well. So, I get it, no hard feelings and I’m sure we’ll maintain a good relationship beyond this.
Now, as for shopping the new album, it’s basically in the hands of my manager. I finished my new album late last year and it’s been making the rounds. I won’t lie. The sampling is always gonna be an issue for most labels. So, it’s taking a little time. My manager basically is in contact with a few different labels and trying to feel out what the best option will be. A lot of these labels have schedules they need to work around and tons of shit on their plate so it’s never a quick process.
Worst case scenario, no one wants to put it out and I just do it myself. I’d rather not but it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Though, I’d like to think it won’t come to that. We shall see. Some cool labels are sitting with the album right now so hopefully one of them will go for it.

Yo block, just saw you for the first time this weekend. What was with all the electronic drums substituted in songs? Didn’t think I heard the breaks you used on your albums. And no vinyl? Maybe I’ve been out of the hip hop loop, but is it all electronic controllers and stuff now?

Do you know what a “break” is? My live set is 90% break beats. Most of which come from my albums and others that are some of the most well known breaks in hip hop history. I barely have an electronic drums. Maybe you saw someone else’s set and thought it was me?
As for vinyl, I’m not a DJ. Never was. To pull off what I do live with vinyl would be 100% impossible. I get that you’re old school or whatever (I am too) but times are changing ,bro. This is what electronic/dj music looks like now.

I bet most reading this blog would easily self-identify as being funny or good in bed… but I don’t think a lot of ppl would consistently identify themselves as being smart. Do you agree? I’ve always grappled with that word, I don’t even know what the fuck it really means! Aside from extremes at both ends, I think the majority of people could be characterized as intelligent, depending on what criteria you use.

For example, at times I can be smugly impressed with myself at what my brain is capable of understanding and memorizing. At other times…I actually surprise myself with how dumb I can be…so so stupid & dumb (and not in a charming/cute way). And I am deeply insecure about the things that I am not good at. I think a lot of other people feel this way too. What do you think? And what does “smart” mean to you?

I bet if you ask Snookie “hey, are you smart?” she’d give you a resounding yes and an eye roll. I can only think of a few times where I’ve come across people who honestly have said “I’m not very smart” when referring to their true level of intelligence. I think almost everyone I’ve ever met thinks they are “smart”. Thing is, they’re all basing it on the characteristics they deem important. For instance, I’m a college drop out who, if you put a science related book in front of, will lose focus within 5 seconds of reading. I’ve met people who are brilliant students that have multiple masters degrees but, socially, they’re pretty much mongoloids. Because my brain works the way it does, I value social smarts more than those of people who are good at school. It’s all just different wiring. To me, I see a person who is quick witted and funny , and that’s smart to me. I’ll take cleverness/creativity over book smart any day. That said, cleverness isn’t gonna remove my appendix if I ever need the operation so , obviously, both types of smart people are important.
This all boils down to something the poet laureate Ghostface Killa referred to as “Smart dumb niggas”. The world is full of them.

While I don’t like talib, I don’t find him to be entirely objectionable and/or horrific. Would you mind explaining your vitriolic dislike of him?

I definitely go overboard with my disdain of him but that more has to do with his fans and a very particular era of hip hop. For the record, I don’t hate kweli. I don’t even know him. I bet he’s a good dude. I just am not a fan of his music.
Let me give a brief history of my opinion of Kweli.
I first heard him on the stretch and bobbito radio show when he went to the studio with Mikah 9, and tash from the alkaholiks. They all freestyled and he was so out of his depths it was hilarious. I recorded it off the radio and got so tired of his verses, I re-recorded the whole session without him so whenever I heard, one of the good rappers verses would end and you’d hear like two words of Kweli and it would cut out. This youtube clip is actually LITERALLY the recording I did. Apparently that recording has spread thanks to years of tape trading back in the late 90’s.

So that was my intro to him. I forgot about him completely and then he dropped a 12” years later that I actually liked.
“2000 seasons”, was my shit.

That said, it was mostly cause of the beat but I liked this song. I thought Kweli was okay. His voice was weak and his flow had issues but the song was dope. Then he dropped “Manifesto” and I was like “hmm…he got better…”

It was kinda like he found his voice as a rapper. He even flowed better and sounded confident.
And that was it. He had peaked. He always had a tendency to say corny shit and his flow was always very forced but, for some reason, after that, it just got worse. Maybe it was cause he got paired with Mos Def who, while I don’t love him either, is a clarly natural and gifted rapper. When place next to a guy as vibrant as Mos, it really highlighted Kweli’s flaws. So, really, my issue with Kweli’s music is all technical stuff. His voice, lyrics and flow are not good, in my opinion. Somehow he became the underground poster child and a name that people who were new jacks would pull as their “underground rap guy” and it was always a telling choice. Really, it’s not his fault. It’s his fans. He did what anyone would do and had/has an unbelievably successful career. I’m not mad at him at all for that and , in fact, would go as far to say that he’s a dude who went way farther than I ever thought he could. So, in that sense, props to him. But I still don’t ever wanna hear his music.

Answers for questions vol. 183

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A fine day to you, sir. And you as well , madam. How are you? Oh me, I’m Chinchillin’ (yes, that’s a chinchilla up there).
Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. You ask stuff, I answer it. Speaking of which, my cupeth running a little low so I need you guys to bring the heat. send me questions…about anything. The stranger the better. Get creative. Either leave them in the comments below or email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com Become a part of the magic, yo!
Anyway, here are this weeks batch. Apparently, the east/west coast rivalry lives on. Who knew?

So I know people from the East And West coast specifically New York And California have certain views of each other Ive always been curious as to what a Native New Yorkers general views are on people from California?

California is a HUGE State. So big that you can’t really pigeon hole the entire thing. I mean sure, in general, I can say that California people tend to be a little more mellow than NYC people but that’s like saying Salt tends to be more salty than sugar.
Because of California’s huge size it’s got a variety of types. A person from San Diego is gonna be completely different than a person from San francisco who would be totally different than a person from Bakersfield. The common theme is that California is spacious and , generally, has nice weather. They’re near mountains and beaches. While NYC is compact, full of people and everyone walks every where. Our nature is pretty much limited to parks and gross beaches on the outskirts of the city.
I used to make fun of California as it was in my nature but I get it now. While I wouldn’t wanna live there myself (I’m unequivocally a person who prefers a real metropolis) I totally get it’s appeal. Hell, just being in L.A. for two days during the last winter nailed that point home. It’s definitely a more relaxed and easy going lifestyle out there. That said, it’s more boring. It’s slower. It’s the type of place you can smoke weed all day and never get out of your car. I don’t smoke weed so that doesn’t appeal to me. I like walking about of my apartment building and being thrust in action. As much as it may seem like I don’t like people, I thrive of the energy of having activity around me at all times.
So, yeah, the two places are extremely different but I’m not about to sit here and shit on California. It’s got some awesome places. If NYC ever gong under water, I’d probably wanna move to S.F. but , until then, I’m good here and still enjoy my brief visits out west.

I have a question. Why are guys so perverted?

That’s a fairly open ended question. hmm…Why is ice cold? Why does hot pizza burn your mouth? In the words of Lady Gaga, I’d venture to say we were born this way.
Guys are perverted cause our minds are simple when it comes to sex. It’s all visual for us. I can’t even fathom what goes through girls heads but, from discussions I’ve had, it’s so far and beyond anything a guy would even begin to get into ,it’s no wonder we have so much trouble meeting eye to eye. You guys work on a totally different plain. Detailed and layered. Emotional and situational. We can literally see some lower back dimples and the top of an ass crack and get a semi-erection cause the thought “I want to put my penis near there” will pop in our heads.
The funny thing about the simplicity of men is that it’s that lack of depth in our thoughts that lead to us getting weirder and weirder. Because we’re so visual our simplicity often spirals into places. Like , I often wonder how a man goes from being a typical guy who likes putting his penis in vaginas to, down the road, being the type of guy who can only achieve orgasm by a woman stepping on his balls with high heels. I suppose we are more prone to go down dark paths sexually. I mean, let’s not act like women don’t do the same thing but I feel as though men do it more and go to stranger places. Even the more basic fetishes we have (Watching girls choke on dicks, facials, anal sex etc…) seem to , at times, be based as much on “pleasure” as it is our ego and self worth. It’s definitely strange and i don’t blame girls for being horrified by it all but hey, guess what? I guess you guys gotta deal with it cause we’re the only species around that can make babies with you. Raw deal, I know…but that’s life.

Also whats your view on west coast hip hop vs. east side ?

Do you think there are any west coast groups or rappers that have had just as big of an impact on hip hop as co flow and juggaknots?

There is no way this is still a topic of interest , is it? I figured the internet pretty much wiped out any discussion of musical location. Yes, the two coasts make different types of rap at times but, really, no one has given a shit about that in a long long time. I’d venture to say the south and middle parts of america are just as much of a force as any coast is now.
As for the second part, I love both those groups but I can’t really say they’re influence on hip hop was THAT big. I mean, that movement definitely had a ripple effect that spread far and wide but I’d say they , stylistically, were not as influential as Freestyle Fellowship or maybe even Blackalicious and the old Solesides crew. What Co-flow and the Juggaknots did do was open the doors fully on the east coast for wierdo rap. Which is great. Sure, we had Ultramagnetic before them but they definitely took it somewhere else and that spawned all sorts of mc’s from future generations. Hip hop has always worked like the domino effect. One things leads to another. And those two groups are certainly in the chain of events.

Will you ever stop doing the Answers to Questions portion of your blog? Between your blog and when you used to do the questions thing on Myspace… it has to get old sometimes.

And/or does doing it weekly give you a sense of routine or structure?

I have no intention of stopping. I’m sure I will one day but , as long as people send me questions, I’ll keep answering them. It definitely has gotten old at times but I also use a little more selectiveness with what questions I answer. To be clear, I answer like 95% of the questions people send/ask me. But if one comes up that I’ve done a bunch of times before or is an opinion question like “Do you like (band name)?” I’ll skip those cause they’re either played out or boring.
This definitely does help give me a routine but that’s this entire blog. I wake up, write some shit, post it and go on with my day. Without that, I don’t know what I’d do in the early part of my day. So, yeah, keep sending me questions so I have something to do in the mornings!

You’re a comedy junkie. Therefore, I know that you’ve seen that ‘Talking Funny’ HBO special before. One thing that Jerry Seinfeld said in it is – “No one is more judged in civilized society than the stand-up comedian. Every 12 seconds, you’re rated.” So I have three mini q’s related to that quote.

1) Do you agree with Seinfeld’s statement?

From an artists perspective? I’d agree with that. Comedy is relentless. You could say the same thing about a rapper but, in general, rappers get about 4 bars before people make their mind up about them. They also can redeem themselves later. Comedians, though, are just constantly being scrutinized through out an entire performance. They can be killing it, say one wrong thing and the whole dynamic of their show will chance. That’s pretty fucking brutal.

2) When you hear a new hip hop track for the first time, how many seconds do you think it takes you to make a ‘judgement?’ And do you think that amount of time is different or the same when you’re hearing a professional recording versus when you’re listening to a demo?
Depends. If the beat is wack it’s got less of a chance. I tend to go into listening to new rap like so: I first see if I like the voice, check if the flow is tight, listen to what he’s saying and if he does it in a creative/interesting manner then , the last thing I’ll notice is what he’s talking about , content wise. This can all take place in about 8 bars. Some rappers need more time to be evaluated while others I can tell if I like them after once sentence. It depends. Whether it’s a demo or not doesn’t really make a difference. Before I did “Demo Reviews” on here I was a guy who listened to underground radio shows and recorded random rap demos on to a cassette for my own listening pleasure.Some of those demos were my favorite songs when I was younger. I can see past bad quality if the talent is there.

3) You have reviewed many (!) demos by now. How many secs into a demo would you say it takes you to formulate an opinion? Do you think it’s a recurring judgement, kinda like what Jerry said with the “every 12 seconds” or do you think that once you’ve made your opinion, that tends to stick for the duration of the song?

I make it a point to listen to the whole song but, in general, I can tell pretty quickly how good/bad the demo is. The flaws tend to jump off the page, if you know what I mean. The only exception is if the song has multiple rappers on it and a better/worse one comes in later in the song.

I don’t tend to crush on celebs all that often, especially not the guys (some of the girls are pretty dope, let’s be honest). Sam Cooke tho…I watch this video
and I am literally turned on. That lip bite..that face! that voice!! So so sad what happened to him. Anyways, is it weird to have a crush on a star who has been dead for, oh say, 50 years now?

I don’t think it’s weird up to a point. Like you should be able to separate this crush from the reality of the situation. He is a dead man, after all. So, by that, I mean you can watch that video and have those feeling but the second you start masturbating to black and white pictures of a dead guy, you might have a problem. Personally, I can see a pic of some old timey woman and be like “damn…she was beautiful…” but I don’t think I’d really ever be able to look at her in a sexual way beyond that. The reality that she’s dead or just old as fuck would weigh to much on my mind. I can barely enjoy porn made in the 70’s and 80’s at this point cause , for one, it just looks so grainy and old but , secondly, I think about how old those women are now. I dunno…maybe you have a more vibrant imagination than me and can pull some creative fantasies off? That’s on you though.

You know, I bet he/she is alright….

spreadlove
It’s no secret that this blog can be a hub of negativity. I typically spend my time making fun of people , ranting about pointless shit that annoys me or telling people their demos are mediocre. That’s just kinda my thing. But, come on…let’s be honest, negativity is way funnier than positivity. This is all about entertainment value. I could write daly affirmations all day but no one besides confused strippers and moms on facebook are trying to read that bullshit. So, today, I’mma try something different.
As a judgmental man, I’m no stranger to casting opinions upon people I don’t know. Especially rich and famous people. While morons might call this practice “hating” , in real life, I don’t care enough to hate any of these people. It’s just fun to take shots at various thrones for the hell of it. Over the years , I’ve poked fun at all sorts of people so today I’m gonna do the opposite. Here are some famous people who, while I’m not a fan of their “art” on any level, I bet are actually cool people to chill with. Also, be aware the irony is not lost on me that I’m saying they’d ever want to hang out with my bum ass. I’m just saying, I bet these guys are okay in real life, as people. Also, as a way to retain the negative, generalization filled edge I like this blog to have , each person will have an “On the other hand…” which will spotlight a similar celebrity who, in my eyes, still sucks.

Drake
drake-high-school_0
First off, he’s canadian. I’ve never met an asshole canadian. At worst, they can be lame in an inoffensive way. But they’re so fucking nice it’s hard to imagine two canadians ever even arguing. Secondly, in interviews, he seems like a fairly humble guy who actually has a decent sense of humor. So, while i’m not really trying to listen to his albums and I think he’s a bit if a try hard, I have no doubt that, one on one, Drake is a cool guy. I imagine him to be someone who laughs a lot and never likes an awkward moment. He’s basically a dork who got thrust into the lifestyle of someone who can do anything he wants. He coulda gone the Bieber direction but he was better than that.
That’s nothing if not commendable.

On the other hand…
I bet Lil’ Wayne is a fucking moron and an asshole. It might be one of those “he’s too high all the time” things but I question the value of any man who takes up skateboarding in his late 20’s and carries around a guitar he doesn’t play.

John Mayer
high-school-portrait_john-mayer
His music is the thing of nightmares for people who have really boring nightmares. But, all signs point to him being a funny dude. I’m the type of person who will put up with other shortcomings if the person has a good sense of humor. A while back he got in trouble for comparing his dick to hitler (cause he only likes white girls). I always though the outrage of that simple joke was way overblown. The fact he said it in an interview actually make me like him more. He also seems like a great guy to hit the town with and bag up girls. Sure, he’s John Mayer and he’s gonna get first dibs but I get the feeling he’d gladly throw scraps at you cause he’s just that kinda guy. John Mayer will not bogart the pussy and , to me, that’s an admirable quality in a rich and famous person.

On the other hand…

Gavin Degraw seems like a prick. I barley know who this dude is but a year or two back he got “jumped” walking around lower manhattan alone at like 3 in the morning. Thing is, who the fuck gets jumped in lower manhattan anymore? As the story unfolded, it turned out he was shit faced drunk and talking junk to the wrong people. I got no time in my life for bad drunks.

Lady Gaga
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She’s fucking ridiculous. I loathe her music but she’s also insanely talented so, you know, different strokes…but, beyond the music, she’s just a girl from the upper east side of manhattan who wanted to be cool downtown. I knew many people like that when I was younger and they were always the black sheep of their community. While I’d imagine her burgeoning “Actor” side might annoy me, she’s proven herself to have a good sense of humor and , more than anything, she doesn’t take herself that seriously. I’m sure many of you will argue that point but hear me out. She looks insane like 90% of the time. She leaves the house looking like a game of Jenga in mid-collapse on the regular. I know some of you would say that’s her trying too hard but it’s not like she’s Kanye. That’s someone breaking his back to be cool. Gaga strikes me more as just a weirdo. And I can get behind that…at least as a friend. Also, dat ass.

On the other hand…

There is no worse person nowadays than Madonna. Okay, maybe some brutal dicatators and people who do things to children, but Madonna is #3 with a bullet. She needs to just stop. Stop with EVERYTHING. Stop making music. Stop saying things to the press. Stop pushing her fad life choices on everyone. Stop working out. It’s ill to think that she was once the coolest person on earth (in the eyes of many) and now her existence is to humiliate her poor kids. I beg you, Madonna…stop. For the love of whatever god you’re worshipping at this very moment.

Jimmy Fallon
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One of my all-tme favorite punching bags has been Jimmy Fallon. Why? Cause he’s not funny. A guy who’s career is comedy but he’s bad at that one specific thing. Sure, He’s done funny things , had decent ideas and even has a few good impressions but , when it’s all said and done, he’s no funnier than the average wall street broker who quotes Ron Burgandy all the time. That said, he’s without question a nice guy. There is no way on earth he’s an asshole. He’s level headed and considerate. He aims to please. You’re moving? Fallon got your back. He’ll even rent the truck for you. You just broke up with someone? Call jimmy. He’s have you over and cook you a nice dinner. He’ll even let you crash at his place for way longer than normally acceptable. I liken him to old friends who’ve known since your teens that, while you don’t relate to them on a deep level, they stick around in your life cause you know they have good hearts. He’s a good guy. A good, completely unfunny guy.

On the other hand…

Jay Leno is both unfunny and a jerk. Tall dudes with big heads are generally kinda assholes. I don’t know what the science is behind that but I’ve found it to be true. Add on having more money than most small countries and it gets even worse.

Kid Rock
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Dudes musical career has been like a middle finger to my own personal taste for as long as I can recall. He helped bring in the Rap/rock era that basically created a whole shitty new brand of human being. But, if I’m out and drinking, there is no question Kid Rock would be my go to guy. He’s laid back, funny, and not a snob. In fact, he’d probably clown me for drinking a vodka and soda…and I’m okay with that. I like to think of him as a type of midwestern dude I always love. People from detroit, cleveland, columbus etc…they’re fucking awesome. They’re from somewhat bummy ass cities but that’s what gave them their flavor. There’s no pretense with them. What you see is what you get and , most of the time, what you get is a stand up dude you can effortlessly shoot the shit with for hours. Kid Rock may be a millionaire who dated Pam anderson but I don’t doubt for a second he’s still one of those dudes.

On the other hand…

Eminem is probably a dick. I bet he was cool at one point but , at this point, it would seem like he’s become the rap howard hughes. A weird genius shut in who only comes out to make the worst anthemic rap ever created. I’ve seen him in enough interviews to be able to tell he probably does that thing where he’s so constantly sarcastic you have no idea what he’s ever really saying. That shit is tiring to be around. I’d almost just prefer a person be a straight up dick than the “always sarcastic” guy.

Travis barker
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Clearly, not a fan of his music , old or new. He’s has a definite So-cal guy vibe that does not mesh well with me but, i dunno…I bet he’s okay. He might not even be from so-cal for all I know. This one is going more off a feeling than any thing I’ve seen or heard. He just seems like a guy that people get along with and, to me, that’s telling. Being a nice guy is underrated in the entertainment business. The term “fail upwards” is often misused on these people. People who have gotten to where they are simply by being liked by their peers. Sure, talent is there too but I can’t say enough for people who raised their status by just being cool to other people. Not stepping over people or fucking people over. I’m basing this on nothing but I feel like he’s one of those type of dudes. Also, he survived a plane crash and if that isn’t a character builder, I don’t know what it.

On the other hand…

Tommy Lee is a cornball. I don’t doubt partying with him in the 80’s was the best but, let’s be real, he’s extremely dim. His life has been better than mine will ever be X 1000. but I feel as if it was wasted on a dude who’s spectrum of thought and emotion range from “Awesome!” to “not stoked”. He’s basically a living Keanu Reeves character.

Khloe Kardashian
young-khloe-kardashian
Fuck you guys, I’ve watched their show. Yeah yeah yeah…I was actually considering throwing a few members of this show on the list (Kris humphries and Scott Disick) but I opted to keep it to just Khloe. Why? Cause she seems like the only person in that entire family that isn’t a complete piece of shit. While the reasoning for that is pretty obvious (she’s the least attractive and fattest one) I don’t care about all that. She seems like the only person in that family who genuinely cares about other human beings. She seems level headed and the least fame obsessed by far. While her brother Rob is ballooning up to Jiminy Glick levels of obesity, she’s got his back. Meanwhile, her cunt sisters and her shitty mom are leaving cakes around the house, taunting him cause, well, fuck him for being a fat ass! Truly terrible people. All of them. Khloe is a shining light of decency in an otherwise pitch black world.

On the other hand…

The rest of her family is more evil than most movie villains. Specifically Kim and their mom, Kris. If they did public beheadings on PPV, I’m willing to be a Kris Jenner sacrifice would be the most watched thing on tv ever. Like a Manny Pacquiao/Floyd Mayweather fight times a billion.

See? That wasn’t so bad. Positivity guys! It’s the wave of the future! I feel great!

Answers for questions vol. 182

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Hi there. Welcome back to another week of “Answers for questions”. You guys ask shit, I answer it. It’s as old as time. If you’d like to be a part of this interactive love, all you gotta do is ask. Either leave questions in the comment section or email them directly to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com.
Creative questions are always preferred. Get weird with it.
This weeks batch is full of weird ones.So, let’s get into it.

You’re from New York, so might have some experience with pushy people. SXSW always brings out the assholes here, and waiting in line is the worst. How do you react when someone A) Quietly slips in front of you in line, hoping you won’t say anything? B) Forces their way in front of you with a hard elbow or shoulder push? If they won’t respond to a simple “hey fuck off I was standing here”, do you have any good tips how to intimidate them into waiting their turn? Should there be a different approach for different situations like a music venue bar, bathroom line, food line, ATM? I’m looking for some options that don’t mean I have to leave right away or get arrested, but it can still be some mean shit.

I’d be willing to guess SXSW is WAY worse than NYC in this regard. In fact, I’d venture to say all airports are where this kinda fuckery take place with the most commonality. It’s an interesting question cause I’m an unusual pairing of hyper aware to this kind of thing but also non-confrontational. Or, some may call it “A pussy”.
But, in the situations you mentioned, I’d react like this:
A) First I’d stare at them in disgust. If that didn’t get their attention, I’d politely tap them on the shoulder and say “Hey man, there’s a line here…”. 9 out of 10 people would be like “oh! my bad” and bounce. Another way to do handle that would be that, the second they sidle up and you see what they’re doing you loudly proclaim (so the whole like can hear it) ” heyyyyyyyyy, there’s a line here, guy!” before he can even try and settle into it.
b) This doesn’t sound like a line based situation. More of “at a show or some other public event” type situation. In this case, I just let it go. I mean, if someone thrusts an elbow into my chest on purpose , that’s different. But getting mad about accidental contact is moronic. Sure, the guy was rude but, really, who fucking cares? unless you’re the type who’s willing to fist fight over some bullshit like that, just ignore it and keep living your life. I always believe that dude (the one who elbows his way through the crowd) will eventually get what’s coming to him. Why fuck your night up by making it your job to deal with it. Pride is overrated. Trust me, the minimal bit of anger that causes will subside and your night will go on fine.

One rapper I’m not too fond of is Action Bronson. FUCK that guy. He just seems like suuuuuch a raging asshole. I think an oft overlooked key to longevity in the rap game these days is to have a strong female listenership (is that a word?). The T.D.E. crew has this, Action Bronson does not. TDE is gonna keep getting bigger and AB is gonna fade out. Do you agree with my statement?

I disagree with pretty much every aspect of this statement. I think Bronson is awesome. In fact, i’d say I like his personality (in interviews I’ve heard) even more than his music. He’s fucking hilarious and definitely has his own take on things. Sure, he might have a temper but I’d imagine that has more to do with how people come at him than the man himself. As for the point about female listenership, I’d say, on an underground level, it doesn’t mean shit. I mean, sure, once you get bigger, that’s what propels most through the stratosphere. But as an indie guy? While it would be nice, it’s not necessary. Look at dudes like Necro or RA the Rugged man. You think they have huge female fanbases? Those dudes have been around and successful since the early 2000’s. Hell, even a guy like El-P. You go to his shows and they’re 85% guys. Having female fans is huge when you’re Drake or ASAP Rocky but , to the lower tiered guys, it’s just a bonus. Sadly, most hardcore rap acts have done fine without them for years and will continue to do so.

If you were trapped in a closet with a gun with one bullet and these three types of people, which one would you kill and why?
-A wishy-washy person
-A person who holds grudges
-A person who complains about everything

Ohhhh….this is tough.
Off the top, I’d let the wishy washy person go. They’re annoying but you can live with that. What’s more harmless than A Wishy washy person? also, it would suck to shoot a wishy washy person. Imagine the type of begging for his life he’d do…
Between the last two it’s tough cause I feel like, on one hand, the person who holds grudges only really effects those they hold grudges against. They’re extremely petty but, outside of that, might be good people. Meanwhile, a person who complains about everything can be a huge downer BUT they’re often very funny about it.
But, of these two, I guess I’d dead the complainer, but only cause it’s constant. Holding grudges would be less prevalent in the day to day interactions. Also, I ca imagine shooting a person who never stops complaining and not feel that bad about it.
That said, I’d probably rather be friends with the complainer cause grudge holding is truly a pathetic trait for anyone to have.

This computer?
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or this computer?
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this one?
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or this one?
woman-yelling-at-laptop

and finally…this one?
frustrated young  woman.

BONUS QUESTION: Don’t you think the “freaking out on computers” image type meme is getting a bit much? I googled ‘women shouting at laptops’ and there were absolutely TOO many stock photos to choose from.

I’m not quite sure what I’m picking here. Which laptop I like most? None of the above. THey’re all PC Pieces of shit. I’m a mac man.
Or am I picking what expression I relate to the most?
Hmm…Probably the pensive asian girl.
Or am I picking which girl i’d like to most have sex with of this bunch?
I guess I vote for the first one, even though she’s in a bad place in picture.
as for the bonus question, I really don’t think this qualifies as a “meme”. It’s just something people have taken to many pictures of. It’s not meme status yet and , very likely, won’t ever become one.

That first “true” day of spring: I think it requires a nickname, because it’s such a definable, stand-out day. You know what I’m talking about…when winter feels like it’s finally over. That day where guys walk around, and bout that life. That day where girls assess one another’s fashion choices and oddly feel vEYEolated for not having a jacket covering their body. WHAT SHOULD THIS DAY BE CALLED???

In NYC is should be called “Public Boner day” cause girls out here are quick to start wearing next to nothing the second the temperature his 66 degrees. It’s as if thousands of hot, scantily clad ladies are released into the streets who had no been there a day earlier. It really is the best. Way better than christmas or new years eve.

I like reading your thoughts on the whole “sugar daddy” scenarios and I went back and read your older article. I’d like to elaborate on the topic with a couple other questions?

1. What if there is sex involved in the dynamic?

2. At what age difference do things start to cross that creepy factor? Obviously, many men are at least somewhat older than their respective partners.

3. Not necessarily sugar babies, but gold diggers in general, can you always blame them? I mean yeah, it’s shitty, I couldn’t do it (even tried once and it felt so wrong) but for some women, it could be the best thing that ever happens to them. In instances where the woman comes from a shitty background with not many future prospects and then some guy comes around and gives her security….while sorta fucked up, I don’t think those women are the worst in the world.

4. Do you think or would you peg a woman as a gold digger simply because her significant other is rich and buys her gifts? I think there’s some gray area here because I’m gonna assume some of these people might actually love eachother.

You’re referring to this:
http://phatfriend.com/2011/05/10/sugar-daddies-and-babies/

1)If there is sex involved than it’s totally different. That either means the girl is actually into it OR she’s a real deal prostitute and doesn’t even know it. I’d venture to say that , if a girl is having regular sex with her sugar daddy, she’s signed on for more than just free mink coats and fancy trips. She’s in it for the long haul. So, in a way, it’s less a “sugar daddy/baby” situation and more just real relationship…even if she’s in it to get his money when he dies in a few years. To the guy, it’s real so that’s better than just some girl keeping a lonely old pervert company and accepting gifts while keeping him at arms length.

2)I think it depends. Personally, when i see a girl in her early 20’s with a guy in his late 40’s, it’s a little weird. That said, maybe her dad left her when she was a kid and she’s actually into it. Who knows? every situation is different. But, in general, a 20 year age difference where the girl is in her early 20’s is kinda creepy to me. When you see that, there’s is definitely something wrong with either the guy, the girl or both of them. A 30 year old dating a 50 year old isn’t as big a deal to me…but early 20’s? Yuck.

3)I mean, there’s two levels to them. On one hand, they’re getting money by any means necessary. So, in that sense, I can somewhat respect the hustle. On the other side of things though, that’s some devious and lazy shit. Just get a fucking job. When a woman does that, she’s truly minimizing her worth as a person. She’s basically saying “I’m too good for work…I’ve got these physical assets. So let me make that “my job”.” Her job? Lying to men, milking them for money and being a cocktease. That’s what strippers do. So, while she may look down on strippers and sex workers, she’s still a glorified off shoot of those very same professions.
The situation you described in the question paints the picture of a different kinda girl. One who fell into a good situation and opted to ride it out. In general, Gold diggers are far more shrewd and have a game plan intact.

4)oh for sure. Some rich dudes love buying their women they love gifts. Just cause a girl is with a rich dude who’s older than her doesn’t immediately make her a gold digging whore. There is tons of grey area with this entire subject.

Ready to be confused? Say hello to Spooky Black

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A few days ago I got a text from someone saying (in all caps) “YOU HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT SPOOKY BLACK ON YOUR BLOG!!!”. I had no idea who Spooky Black was and wasn’t in a place i could watch a video so, I put it on hold for a little while. Hearing the name “Spooky Black”, your mind goes places. I heard it and thought one of two things, it’s a weirdo southern rapper (probably cause the name reminded me of this group “The spooks” from back in the day) OR it’s some terribly embarrassing internet thing that was gonna make me feel funny inside. Well, it turns out the latter was closer to the truth…but not how I expected it.

Wait…what? Now, if you’re one of my readers who does that thing of casually glancing at something, making up a shitty opinion on it and moving on, then please just keep it moving here. If you ONLY fuck with rap music, clearly this song will come on as white noise to you. However, for the rest of you, that’s pretty crazy, right? He’s basically an albino child in a collection of killer turtlenecks , filming in the forests of who the fuck knows where (and on a couch) that HAPPENS to have this awesome voice. On top of that, he’s seemingly got good beats. I mean, it’s no reinventing the wheel but it’s both very relevant to what’s current right now and just, overall, a pleasing listen. I mean, shit, I’m by no means a new R&B guy. I think some Frank Ocean and The Weeknd is pretty good. I won’t bump it (or this for that matter) but I see it’s worth without question. With Spooky Black…I’m at a loss. It’s pretty undeniably good for what it is.
Also, it should be added that he’s , in fact, from the U.S.A.. I think of all these surprises that’s the biggest one. I assumed he was from Sweden or some shit but, nope…he’s apparently from St. Paul, MN. This dude is breaking stereotypes all over the fucking place.
My question is “How is this not a bigger deal?”

Last year, I wrote a disparaging piece on the emergence of “Yung Lean”.
http://phatfriend.com/2013/07/24/hey-guys-lets-not-make-yung-lean-a-thing-okay/
Well, not so much his personally, but his rabid fanbase and the internet machine that allows him to thrive. The response has been a non-stop trickling of angry Yung Lean fans who both don’t know how to read and love terrible music. With Yung Lean, we had a weirdo kid doing something that was unexpected so it caught peoples eye. A swedish (I forget if that’s what he was but who cares?) teenager rapping about his emotions badly over current sounding cloud rap beats. The thing was, he wasn’t particularly talented. He just happened to be doing it and, clearly, that was enough for people. With spooky black there are similarities. He’s doing something that seems unexpected and presenting it in a way that’s even less sensical. In fact, it’s downright ridiculous. I mean, he’s the whitest man alive and his name is fucking Spooky Black. If I saw him walking through the woods, I’d be terrified that I entered some sort of pimped out children in the corn type world and run the other way as fast as possible. That said, he can fucking sing. He really can. So, when’s it his turn?
It would be a shame for this guy to slip through the cracks cause people don’t take him seriously based on his insane image, meanwhile, the far less talented basically do the same thing and get kudos all over the place. So, hey, let’s make Spooky Black happen. That video should have like 8 million views already and he should be busy planning his first US super tour. I don’t see what’s holding him up…get on this internet.
His album is available on Bandcamp. I’m actually kinda digging it.
This is so weird, man.
http://lilspook.bandcamp.com/
Or just peep his tracks here…