Answers for Questions vol. 244

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Whattup y’all. Welcome to this weeks edition of Answers for Questions. You asked so I answered. I’m good like that. If you’d like to ask me anything, this is your chance. Get silly with it. Either email me the questions at phatfriendblog@gmail.com
or leave them in the comment section of this very post! Have fun with it and don’t be boring!
This weeks collection is a nice variety of subject. Dig in and enjoy!

As an older hip-hop enthusiast i find it harder to find more music i’m into since most of the sites i went to for new music are shutting down. I was wondering if you could steer me towards some blogs or sites that cater to more indie hip-hop, not like hiphopdx or anything. I usually come across things on my own but would never of found Spark master tape if it wasn’t for your blog. So I was wondering what your go to sites are, or if you had any interest in doing something to point out more artists your blog besides yay or nay?
Honestly, it’s not easy. I find out about new artists a few ways.
The most common one is word of mouth. Someone I know and trust will email me something and I’ll check it out. The second way is through this site philaflava.com. They have a message board I’ve been frequenting for a while and some of the people there are fairly on point so they have put me on to all sorts of stuff. In general, they’re usually a few months ahead of the curve. Like they put me on to Earl Sweatshirt about 4 months before Odd Future became something most people were even talking about. The third way is through social media. My facebook and twitter. It’s rare but , every now and then, someone will post some shit I was unaware of and that will point me in a good direction.
But, in general, i don’t really frequent any blogs for new music cause, honestly, it’s too much to keep up with.
I’ll tell you the way it’s never worked: Someone spamming me with their music. Twitter, facebook, email. If i don’t know you and you send me stuff, I will never ever ever ever listen to it. I don’t think I’m alone in that so, that’s just a heads up to all budding artists who use that method. Please stop. It’s annoying as fuck.

Which black and yellow shirt have you been seeing more of in public: Wu-Tang or Batman?
Wu-tang by far. I wrote a who post about it a while back:
http://phatfriend.com/2015/02/05/wu-tang-shirts-aint-nothing-to-fuck-with/
On a side note, if I can date myself a little, I clearly remember when the very first batman movie came out. It was the biggest deal ever. EVERYONE wore those fucking Batman shirts. It felt like 2 out of every 5 males between the ages of 8 and 17 was rocking a batman shirt. To this day, I’ve never seen anything so popular. But, then the backlash came and that shirt become to sign of an out of touch loser or a comic book nerd. Funny how that works.

Where do you stand on LeBron? He’s obviously created a dynasty but there are tons of people that cast stones. What’s your take?

Lebron is one of the greatest ever. Anyone who denies that is hating for the sake of hating. I don’t love him as a person (based on how he portrayed in the media) but , whatever…i don’t like Kobe either but you can’t deny the dudes talent.
Lebron is also a dude who done the most with the least, teammate wise. He’s made it to the final 3 times with absolute shit shows of teams. The fact he got two games off golden state this year is nuts.
I’m curious how his game will age as he’s based so much on his physical gifts and not his shooting touch but he’s clearly a hall of famer and one of the best to ever do it.

Obviously “high fashion” is some shit that it’s way beyond you. But, if you could dictate a ludicrous fashion trend what would it be?
(I attached this hilarious article about NBA fashion cuz it’s fucking funny)
https://medium.com/@susannaht/the-history-of-nba-fashion-fur-and-flair-mj-s-suit-crimes-and-the-couture-conscious-hipster-age-90d9d6c53df1

I’ve said it before but I’m fully ready for 8 ball jackets to come back. Not in the hipster ironic way they’ve been threatening to come back. I’m talking like it’s actually cool and fashionable with no pretension to rock an 8-ball jacket. That would be my shit. I wouldn’t even wear one cause I’m not that fashionable.
If we’re talking about something I’d have to invent? I think I’ve mentioned this before but a shirt made entirely of sponge would be my move. the perfect summertime outfit.

Have you considered buying a big mean pit bull and training it to piss on dudes rocking open toed shoes?

While that would be fun, I have not. As much as i frown upon people wearing open toed shoes in urban areas, I don’t actively wanna make their lives terrible. I don’t REALLY care. Besides, if you’re walking around NYC with open toed shoes all day, dog piss is probably the cleanest thing touching your feet on a regular basis.
Also, why a pitbull? Do other dogs not piss?

What classic 90’s catch phrase are you eager to bring back?
I still say “dope” sooooo….that one?
I’ve always been a fan of calling people “herbs”. That one just feels right.

If you were a competitive eater what food would you dread eating the most?
I’m assuming you’re referring to foods that competitive eaters actually eat. it’s not like people competitively eat bull dicks and liverwurst. So…let’s see…hot dogs, chicken wings and pie seem to be the main things people eat. I love wings. I’m cool with hot dogs. Pie…not a fan. I don’t like warm fruit and, in general, fruit filling isn’t that great to me. So, pie eating would pose the biggest issue. Also, the way they eat those pies in the contests is pretty terrible. Face down in a pie, hands behind the back. Fuck all that noise.

If you could produce a “super group” of your favorite obscure rappers who would you want on your team?
I mean, most of them I already know. Billy woods, open mike eagle, Marq Spekt Homeboy sandman. Those types. but, if i had to go outside of my circle…
I’d pick Vince Staples, Michael christmas, KA,Tree, Jay Electronica, Your old droog and Shirt. Now, keep in mind, that group wouldn’t work stylistically at all but those are some of my favorite rappers nowadays.

Do you really think Good Charlotte is a great band?
Lord no. Why would you ever think I thought that. Oh wait…I know.

Answers for questions vol. 243

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Hi there and welcome to another edition on “Answers for questions”. You asked me random shit and I answered. It’s the logical reaction.
If you have a smart or dumb question you’d like to throw my way, the party is always going. Email me questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or simply leave them in the comment section below. The weirder the better. Get creative. I know you can do it. you’re the internet.

Would you consider cryogenically freezing yourself for science or personal gain?
Not really. Seems like a waste of money. I’m also not one of those people who really puts much value on getting way older. Like, from what I can see, being over 70 kinda sucks. Sure, you’ve got wisdom and , most likely, an inner peace but everything you do seems hard and your body is just falling apart on a daily basis. I’m already past the age I’d wanna be frozen in so it’s a moot point. Also, the world isn’t exactly becoming a better place to be. The thought of being frozen then thawed out a few hundred years down the line makes no sense. Like “Oh dope! I froze myself so I could be awoken in a mad max like hell world! There’s not food or water and it’s 200 degrees during the summer! Awesome!”
Also, I don’t think me being around for future generations is important. Doubt I’d make the list for people that needed to be saved for later. I feel like only someone like WIll.I.AM would freeze himself. He seems like that kinda guy.


I know you travel a lot but do you ever shut it down for a week or 2 and go on vacation? If so, what kind of vacations do you take? Cruise, all inclusive resort, backpacking through Europe or just something simple like a secluded cabin for a week?

I do not ever go on vacation. For a few reasons…
1)My life is a vacation
Meaning, outside of making music an touring, I don’t have a ton of real life responsibilities. When I’m home for long periods of time, I’m chilling. I’m a man of comfort and regiment and NYC is , by far, my favorite place to be. So, when I’m here, I’m at my happiest.
2)I travel too much to wanna travel more
I take ,like, hundreds of planes a year. I’m not a bad flyer but it’s enough to make me not wanna be in airports or , really, be around any form of travel ever, when I don’t have to be. If I can not be traveling during my free time, that’s a win for me. So, going to far away lands isn’t that appealing to me , if we’re talking about my own personal leisure time.
3)I don’t really care about seeing places THAT MUCH.
Sure, there are plenty of places I’d like to see. Cities I’d like to check out. But, in general, I don’t care for nature (so camping is out) and I get bored by beaches within about 2 hours. A cruise sounds like a mall in the water. No thanks. My job has enabled me to see a lot of the world and because of that, I think I know what interests me. I’m not into being a tourist. I’m not into sightseeing. I like eating and experiencing cities as naturally as possible. That’s it. So, if that’s not on the menu, I probably am not that interested.
4)My vacations are brief
The only thing I do do is occasionally got away for a weekend to someones beach house or something like that. These trips are always more about just hanging with friends than the location. Swimming in a pool is nice. Maybe doing some drugs.

All that said, I think a crucial thing about traveling for fun is that I go with friends. That will always up the fun no matter where you are. I could probably have as much fun in Cleveland as I could in Rome if I went with the right people.

For whatever reason, if you had to make the choice between watch tv shows only or movies only (they can old or new, doesn’t matter) which would you choose – movies or tv?

That is tough. I wanna say movies but the reality is that, at this point, TV shows are right there with it AND the have way more variety. Also, sports play on TV so that’s a bonus as well. I love movies but there are maybe 10-15 that come out a year that I really wanna see. Where as , tv shows are constantly churning out new one’s that I want to see. I’m assuming netflix counts as tv, btw…

Here’s a somewhat FAQ speed round interview:
When did you start producing?
I started in the early 90’s by bringing samples over to peoples houses and watching them make beats. I got my sampler late 94/early 95 though.

Was it just a hobby to begin with?
Yup. Everything is a hobby when you’re a teenager.

How often would you lose hope in yourself?
I didn’t take it seriously enough to really get down on myself like that. I was more just obsessed with it and always doing it. I’m not really a person who sits around doubting myself or patting myself on the shoulder. I just did it and kept doing it cause I enjoyed it.
How often
would you change styles or genres?

I don’t think I’ve ever actively changed genres. It’s still hip hop to me.

Who supported you through the journey to ‘making it’,
and how?

My friends and family, I suppose. No one was like “Don’t do this!”

Where do you look for samples?
All over. Rare records of all genres.

Do you ever use field recorders?
Nope.

When the proddin’s going bad, what do you tell yourself to convince yourself that you’re not
a shit producer and that you have the ability to spill sweet, phat, saucy tunes upon the longing ears of society?

“Proddin” hahahahahahaha! Jesus man, how high are you?
I never feel that way. I accept that , sometimes, I don’t have it and I shut it down until I feel inspired again. it happens.

How does one cook the perfect roast?
I can only cook with a microwave but I’d venture to say in an oven.

What kinda people, or who have you been working with in the beginning of it all?
People I’m still friends with to this day. My friend Niles, Jer (AKA Sir Jarlsberg) this dude Dub-l. i started with them.

When, where and how did you meet Aesop and start weaving dreams?
Your phrasing is making me want to vomit right about now.Put the weed down.
Anyway, I met aesop in 94 at Boston university. We don’t weave dreams though.

What’s the meaning of life?
answering dumb questions on a monday morning is the meaning of life.

Which programs do you use? Which VSTs?
I only a cassette four track and a magnifying glass. That’s it.

If one train is headed from Minnesota to New York at 100km/h and the other is a transdimensional Mushi master how can mirrors be real if our eyes aren’t real?
If a guy smokes dabs and sits in front of his computer for a few hours, does his brain cease to exist or is he in a higher plane of consciousness called “being fucked up”?

Home again

Welcome Home Sign with Flowers & Butterflies.  Started as traditional art then completed and faux metallic textures, wood background and pussy willow frame added using Adobe Photoshop CS2.

Welcome Home Sign with Flowers & Butterflies. Started as traditional art then completed and faux metallic textures, wood background and pussy willow frame added using Adobe Photoshop CS2.


One of the things that separates cities like NYC or San Francisco from many other major metropolises (is that a real word?) is how goddamn expensive they are to live in. For children raised in those places, spreading your wings and leaving the nest isn’t easy. You can’t just get a low level entry job somewhere and support yourself, eating top ramen every day yet living in a somewhat decent home. You either move to another city/town, make enough money to afford a place, get 5 or 6 roommates and begin to gentrify a neighborhood that hates you or you embrace nepotism. For people who are natives, that last choice is a saving grace. Yes, it’s an unfair advantage and very entitled but, let’s be honest, it’s pretty awesome if you have the option.

I was very lucky in that case. My father bought the building I grew up in , in the early 1960’s for an absurdly low price. I mean, I know inflation changes how those things look but paying 80,000 for an entire building in greenwich village is obscene, even if it was 50 plus years ago. So, when it was time for me to leave the home I grew up in, I was extremely fortunate. I had already dropped out of college and I was working bullshit jobs just to make money. Sure, this was the mid-90’s in NYc and I could have moved to Brooklyn right then, like so many of my friends did but I didn’t have to. My parents let me move into an apartment in the building I grew up in for a very low rent. Now, I’m not alone in the treatment. I know many friends that simply didn’t leave their childhood home. Funny thing about that is that, while that may be frowned upon in most places, it’s not crazy in NYC. Like I said, shit is expensive here and people simply have to make it work. If that means living at home till you’re 30, so be it. It’s a bargain that’s only an issue if you have too much pride or annoying parents. Another thing I’ve seen happen a lot is children taking over their parents place as they age. Meaning, the parents no longer need all the space they once had and they section off their large, rent controlled or owned apartment to create a new apartment for their kids (and , ultimately, the family those kids are raising). It’s something no outsider who is apartment hunting in NYC will ever find and it’s a shrinking occurrence , as the city seems to be working hard to stop people from getting any sort of breaks. But being grandfathered into homes is an NYC tradition. It’s the worlds greatest hand me down.

After about 4 or 5 years of living for what might as well have been free, my mom finally told me to get out of the building. Wise move as she was losing thousands of dollars in rent every month just to have me sit in that apartment, ripping bong hits with my friends and making beats. I found a great place about 10 blocks away and I’ve lived there ever since. Got that post 9/11 bargain too so it was actually a steal for what it is.
Anyway, I say all that to say this. About 6 months ago, my toilet vomited gallons of sewage into my apartment. You can read about that HERE. Because of this toxic waste spill, my floors needed to be redone. This means my girlfriend and I have to get out while they tear my place apart. I’m fortunate to have a place to go. That’s my moms house. The house I grew up in. So, as of last weekend, I’m living at home again. It’s been almost 20 years since I actually lived here. I gotta say…it’s kinda weird. Sure, this isn’t really moving back home. It’s not permanent. But it definitely made me think of all those friends of mine who , for some reason or another, were forced to move back in with their parents after a long time on their own.
While the accommodations are nice, it’s hard not to feel like a refugee. Living out of a bag and folding your bed up every morning so people can sit on that couch during the day. The first day back, I immediately came down with a flu/allergy attack which I’m assuming means I’m allergic to memories. But, as the days have passed, I’ve gotten more used to it and realized that there are actually a lot of good things about moving back home. I figure, I’d be a positive guy for once in my life and list them.
These are the perks of moving back home (assuming you like your parents):
1)Food…so much food.
Now, as a bachelor, my fridge contained mixers for booze, mayo and soy sauce. That’s it. I might have had some cans of chef boyaredee stashed away in case of an emergency. When my girl moved in, my fridge was immediately upgraded. Simply by the fact there was all of a sudden stuff in it at all. Thing is, there’s nothing like a stocked fridge at the home you grew up in. You forget all those little things that you used to snack on. Things you would never buy on your own but get legit excited to see every time you cracked open the fridge. Like, holy shit, I forgot how good triscuits are. Or cheeses…bricks of them. Everywhere. Also, my mom has the best honey ever. And so much ice cream. The 2-4 weeks I will be here will be decedent and full of weight gain. I forgot how easy it is to never stop eating when there is always food around. At my home, I’m cut off by the food simply running out.

2)Space
If you have your own place in NYC, you know space is limited. If you live within your means, you’re lucky to have 3 rooms. But parent houses? They got space. Sure, you feel like a guest but it’s still roomy as fuck. Like, there are two bathrooms here. One that’s great for privacy the other that’s more central. That’s living.

3)This shower
This is particular to my moms house only, but goddamn if she doesn’t have the best water pressure on earth. This one shower if like being in front of a fire hose…in a good way.

4)New neighborhood
This house is only ten or so blocks from where I live but it’s a whole different world of options. Specifically, restaurants. I feel like I’m on vacation. Every day is me venturing out and trying somewhere new. I grew up here but so much changes yearly. I feel like I’m rediscovering an entire neighborhood. Also, getting fatter by the second.

5)(hopefully) Your parents are cool
When you’re young, you bump heads with your parents. Maybe they’re at fault but, let’s be honest, it’s probably you. As you get older and your relationship with them changes , many people find a comfort zone. They’re still your parents but they’re also your friends. You see them as people. You speak to them like you would anyone else. I think it may be the best selling point for having kids…fuck all the “raising them” and “teaching them” stuff. To be able to sit and shoot the shit with a person you created like an adult must be awesome. Well, it works both ways. As a kid, you get to evolve into a person who can actually appreciate your parents as people. Not just suck off their teat and complain towards them. So, as corny as it seems, the perk of spending quality time with your parents as adults is not to be overlooked.

6)It’s free
Is there a better way to save money that living with your parents? Aside from being homeless, no. People move back home specifically to stack their money so they can finally REALLY leave the nest. Also, it seems engrained in most parents to always pay for the meals. I don’t think this is fair as, most likely, you owe them, but you can eat for free forever if you move back home.

7)Parents have liquor cabinets
I mean, so do lots of adults but the average reader of this blog is in their mid 20’s so access to free booze is still a big deal to you heathens. Can’t overlook that.

I’m sure there are more great things about moving home again but, I’ve only been here 3 days so far. Gimmie time to discover the rest. To all of you out there contemplating a move back home. I know it’s not ideal but, hey, it could be way worse. You could have a shitty roommate with like 15 cats. Imagine that hell.

Answers for questions vol. 242

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Hi there! Welcome to this weeks edition of Answers for questions. You ask, I answer. If you’d like to get involved, it would make my day. Send me questions to Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave the questions in the comment section below. They both work equally well and your questions are always anonymous (at least to the readers). Go nuts.
This week, we get up close and personal. Check it…

I know you’re a pretty chill guy, but do you ever seriously contemplate just straight duffing some dude? Not just the thought, but, like, to the point where you actually have to hold yourself back?

Not really. I simply don’t have serious violent urges. I mean, sure, I wanna mush people in the face on the daily. Like, waiting behind an indecisive person on line who seemingly is going out of their way to be difficult…I don’t wanna punch that person. I more just wish they’d vanish off the planet. If I had that power, I’d be a problem. But the actual physical violence doesn’t appeal to me. I feel bad when I foul someone hard in basketball, let alone, punch them in the face as hard as i can.
But, in general, I’m not full of rage. I don’t have much rage at all. If anything, I could use some more rage. I’m way too “whatever” about most things, for better or worse. Which is a funny thing about this blog cause it’s generally me ranting about stupid things that don’t matter, yet I seem like i really care. Trust me, I do not.

do you think humans have ever had sex in outer space? even disciplined scientists are horny and desperate for unique experiences right? then add asshole pilots to the mix. if so, when was the first space smash session? in a capsule in the 60s? space shuttle in the 70s/80s? international space station in the 90s and beyond? russians or americans?

100% yes. I know nothing about the history of space exploration but if there were single men and women up there, they were fucking. There has been some hot male on male space buttfucking as well. I bet there was even orgies. It’s funny to imagine cause once you blow a load into zero gravity, it would just float there forever, until it touches something. That would actually be really cool to see.

How much cheese have you consumed in the past week?
Hard to say. I’ve eaten a decent amount. Definitely took down some brie last night. Had a sandwich with mozzarella just now. In general, I’m a big fan of cheese and all that it brings to the table. Can’t say I’ve eaten a pound of it this week..but I also can’t say I haven’t.

You often say you’re emotionally dead. I know you think that makes life easier, but it’s actually kinda sad. Having strong, passionate feelings about people/matters/life is, to me at least, one of the joys of being human. Do you ever wonder why you’re like that or wish you were a little more “alive”? Have you ever considered therapy? I think you’d be a force to reckon with if you actually cared about things and tried to do something about it.

Eh…I’m good. I’m a very happy person. I’m content with myself and my life. Sure, I don’t have emotional swings where I’m super sad or super happy but I’ve always been very even keel. When I’m around extremely emotional people, their energy is crazy to me. It’s as if they have no self control or no chill. I’m not saying emotions are bad t all. I could certainly use more (ask any girl I’ve ever dated ever) but to be ruled or driven entirely by your own emotions is not a good thing, in my opinion. I much prefer logic. I’m a very pragmatic guy. Part of the reason for that is that I’m not basing things of how I feel. More off of what makes sense within the bigger picture.
As for therapy, I’ve done it a few times (in spurts) over the course of my life. Not for my lack of emotion but cause I was fucking up terribly in school and later, when my dad died. In both cases, it didn’t really do much for me. I wasn’t withholding from the therapist. I spoke my thoughts and feelings and left feeling no different.
Like I said earlier, I think it all comes down to how you feel. If I’m happy, why would I want to disrupt that? So I can be even happier, but with the occasional downward spiral of deep depression? No thanks. I’m chilling.
Not to mention, i don’t even know if it’s possible to “turn on” that part of your brain. Perhaps this is simply how I’m wired.
It should also be noted that this all makes me sound like a sociopath. I think we’re all a little in that spectrum but I’m more just apathetic about most things. There are things and people I love, but my emotional range just isn’t that wide. Same reason I don’t randomly punch people in the face is the same reason I don’t cry watching a sad movie. Sometimes I feel like a buddhist who’s not a buddhist.

If you were stranded on an island and could choose anyone in the world to make a boat out of, who would you choose?

If I had to make a boat out of a person? I’d imagine the worlds fattest person. Maybe one of those people from the learning channel shows called some shit like “Help, I’m 9000 pounds! Kill me already!”. That way, I’d have a strong floatation area (their huge mid section) , as well and enough extra skin to make a pretty kick ass sail.

Whats the worst restaurant you have ever eaten at?
You know, i’ve had many mediocre eating experiences in my life. When you tour, it’s kinda common. So, it’s hard for me to think of one that stood out…however, there was the sports bar I ate in Louisville that might hold the title.
I was opening for Emancipator at this place Headliners. There were very few options to eat around there so we kinda had to go with what was nearest. That was a bar that also kinda served food. Everything seemed normal, the menu even looked good. I ordered some wings (cause i was jonesing) and a side of “dirty rice”. The bought out the food and the wings were fine. I mean, they were totally whatever. Fried food is hard to really fuck up..but the rice…that shit was poison. I pulled the fork up to my lips and smelled ammonia. Being a moron, I was like “Whatever…” and put the rice in my mouth. It tasted like ammonia. Literally. Like someone had poured ammonia on to the rice. I spat it out and started panicking cause…I dunno, I thought I had been poisoned. I told the waitress and she reacted like a had asked for another fork. “Oh, really? Okay…you want something else?”
Yeah, bitch. I want a doctor to pump my fucking stomach. I guess that pilaf had been sitting there for a LOOOOOOONNNGGG ass time. So long, it turned into something that could clean a toilet. Hopefully they replaced it with something a little safer. Like a cactus or maybe a bag of scorpions.

Answers for Questions vol. 241

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Hi everyone. How was your weekend? Great.
Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. A weekly column where you ask me stuff and I give you my beautiful truth. I always need new questions so don’t be shy. Ask me things. Send me questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Go ham.
Okay, let’s see what the mail bag has this week.

How old were when you went out and partied the most?
I’d say my late teens/early-mid 20’s were the most wild years. At that age, your ability to drink is unparalleled and you really don’t have that many real responsibilities. I was working at bakery a few times a week and could pretty much go out any day I wanted. I was never a dude who would go on binges though. My body simply can’t hold up to that kind of abuse. But I’d go out 3 or 4 times a week at most in my prime.

How do you come with the titles for your songs? Like, “Which One of You Jerks Drank My Arnold Palmer?” Did someone really drink your arnold palmer or is it an insider among friends?
It depends. Sometimes it’s based on a feeling. Other times, it’s an inside joke.
The most common way is that I’ll think of how the song makes me feel and make a random reference based off that. “Which one of you jerks drank my arnold palmer?” is one of those. That beat feels like summer to me. So, I just imagined some people sitting on a porch in the south sipping cold drinks in rocking chairs. I guess I had been drinking a lot of Arnold Palmers during that time so it somehow led me down that path. It was also just a ridiculous title and it’s fun to make people have to remember all that just to reference a song.

It’s tourist season!

How could a tourist in NYC be less annoying to the locals? (besides not coming in the first place)
Being a tourist is tough. You don’t know where the fuck you are. The city is huge and intimidating. I may not like them but I understand why they are the way they are.
My only advice would be to learn how to walk. Meaning, don’t congregate on corners. Move to the side. Or, when walking in a group down the street, make sure there is room for people to pass you. Also, in reality, I advise people to avoid midtown/times square when they visit NYC cause it’s the worst BUT , if that means there are less of you clogging up where I live, by all means, spend your entire trip in that hell hole.

What was the most embarrassing time that you ripped a fart?
During sex, while cumming.
It was awful. Luckily, it was with a girl I had been with for a while but, man…that was brutal. You know when you get that fart bubble in your belly and you know it’s gonna pop eventually but you think you can control it? It was one of those situations. I assumed I had a handle on it and , clearly, I was wrong. And it wasn’t a little pop…it’s was extended, loud and very present.

Who are some producers you think should stick to production and not rap? For one I think Necro should hop off of the mic and do production, any others you can think of?
I strongly disagree about Necro. I love his beats but he’s possibly the funniest rapper alive. Big Necro fan.
Umm…Puffy is an obvious answer.
He’s no longer with us but I don’t really think Dilla needed to rap.
Madlib does his shit and it’s weird but he doesn’t NEED to rap. I get why he does it though.
Swizz beats and Pharrell definitely should never rap. I’d argue that Swizz should also not make beats though.

you’ve mentioned that you’re not really happy with some of the drums you used on Music By Cave Light, which got me thinking: would you ever consider revisiting that album? Like using the same samples you used to make it (except the drums) but bringing your present approach to making music to it? Sort of remixing your own album, i guess. It would be interesting to hear how the blockhead of today would approach those samples. Or even Uncle Tony Remixes Blockhead (taking the music path you tested with the Coloring Book album and applying it to the Cavelight samples and style). Or would that feel kinda hack-ish, like you were repackaging the same old album but with a big “New & Improved” sticker on it?


I would never even consider that for a moment. The last thing any musician wants to do is go back to the old stuff. Even if it means remaking it “better”. That time has passed.
It reminds me of that thing where people will come up to me like “Dude, when are you going to make another “Music by cavelight!?!”. I know they don’t mean it that way but it’s really offensive to hear that. That’s old shit. I made that when I barely knew what I was doing and in a totally different musical climate. It’s the way it is because of that. I’m glad people like it and it’s served me well but it’s over now. I don’t love some of the choices I made on that album but they’re like that for a reason and I can certianly live with that. Doing a remix album of it would be something a desperate man would do. I’m not quite there yet.
That’s why anytime a rapper does a “part 2″ of an old album, I’m suspect. You can’t recapture that kinda stuff after the time has passed. It’s simply pandering.

At what two ages do you think you were the most and least attractive?
Hmm…Least? I was a chubby little prick in 6th grade.
Peep your mans
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I don’t even know if I can count that but it’s the one time I can honestly look back and be like “bro, get it together”. Also, right after my freshman year in college, I gained a bunch of weight but it wasn’t that crazy. Too much burger king.
My most attractive year was probably my senior year in high school. I was tall, lean and had that amazing part down the middle hair cut that everyone else had in the 90’s.
Prom bro swag on ten thousand
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To be honest, I haven’t had much change in how I look since my early/mid 20’s. I mean, obviously, I’m older and have aged accordingly but I’ve been the same weight (within 5 pounds) for the last 18 years. I have more facial hair and some grays. I have less hair in general. But, outside of that, I’m been pretty consistent, for better or for worse.

i’m trying to spread awareness of a very real problem in this country (and maybe the world) that has received embarrassingly little media and public attention: Poop Shaming
Would you co-sign my cause and help spread the word about this very unsettling issue? Have you ever been Poop Shamed? (To be clear, Poop Shaming is when someone poops, and it smells, as poop tends to do, and someone else attempts to mock them and/or make them feel bad for the smell of their poop, or the fact that they just pooped. It is done in many ways, most basically by a look of disgust in your direction by the Shamer, or a joke about the length of time you just spent in the bathroom, or a joke about your diet). It gives me great sadness at the amount of unfortunate people forced to deal with this undeserved and irrational negativity and social mocking. Everybody poops, that one chick in that movie, that dude at the gas station, the president’s top aid, everybody’s parents, wives, neighbors, and mailmen. And every time they do, it smells like shit. I say instead of mocking the poopers, tell them “good job”. And when you are poop shamed mention it with the hash tag #poopshamed. My question though: have you ever been poop shamed? have you ever poop shamed someone else? do you think it is an america only occurrence or a world problem? Should there be a UN Resolution outlawing poop shaming? Do you think the people who start wars are the same people who poop shame?

I think you need a better cause. Poop shaming will never go away cause of the nature of poop. It’s smelly and funny. Everyone does it so it’s an even playing field. I’ve certainly never had my feelings hurt by someone making a comment towards me about my own shit. I think the way to beat poop shaming is to own it. If you take a horrendous dump and get called out, let them know you don’t give a fuck and that you’ll shit how you wanna shit. Offer them a chance to wipe your ass, if they’re so interested.
I’d say poop shaming is a first world thing. I can’t imagine 3rd world people mocking one another about the shit they took. They’d sooner use it for something practical than make fun of it.

Answers for questions vol. 240

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Hey guys, hope you had a lovely memorial day (that’s what it was , right?). It was just another monday to me but with a hangover.
So, listen, I need you help. I was just looking at my question pile and it’s getting somewhat thin. I need you guys to ask me stuff. Anything. Ask me multiple questions. Basically, I need content for this page and that doesn’t work unless you guys ask me stuff. So, please, go nuts. Try and keep it interesting but, hey, beggars can’t be choosers. Either leave the question in the comment section below or email them to me at: phatfriendblog@gmail.com
It’s always anonymous and there is no shame here.
I also need some “Ask Dr. Tony” questions as well so, if you need advice about anything, don’t be afraid to ask me.
Okay?!? Help me help you , while you’re helping me.

How often do you engage in casual conversation with strangers?
I’m not quite sure what this is asking. I mean, I’m a pretty friendly person and will always respond kindly when someone asks me something (which is common walking around NYC) but I’m also not out here chatting up motherfuckers like I’m the town sheriff in the 1950’s.
I don’t try to create conversations where there are none. Like, if I’m in an elevator with someone, I’m standing quietly. People who feel the need to fill every waking moment of their lives with talking are deranged and/or lonely. Basically, I live by the “speak when spoken to” rule.
I will say that I must have a trust worthy face or something cause I get asked directions on the street all the time. People will literally stop me while I’m listening to my headphones and ask me for directions at least 2 or 3 times a week. No clue what that’s all about.

When was the first time you told a girl you loved her? (Excluding that story from the rogglecast with the long-distance relationship, the phone…and the cat haha)
Well, that phone call was probably the first time I did say that…and it no doubt scarred me.
Shit…I’m the worst with that phrase. I hate saying it and I honestly haven’t said it much in my entire life , even when I felt that way. It’s not something I’ve ever thrown around casually with girlfriends and I still have trouble getting it out of my mouth (much to the dismay of my gf).
I think the first time I said it was probably in my mid 20’s to a girl I was breaking up with. Man…that’s fucked up now that I write it but it’s the truth. Prior to that, I had had a few girlfriends but none that I would say I was in love with or ones that I would have even humored by saying those words to them.
I feel as though , to some people, there’s an urgency to say that phrase. Like they need to be heard and they can’t contain it. Whether or not they truly feel that way or not. Being that I’m an emotionally dead/stable person, I don’t have that part of me that forces me to say that or really requires me to say it. So it never feels natural coming out of my mouth. Sad but true.

Do you have an opinion on the so-called loudness war? Is taking care of dynamic range any different when working with samples?
Is there a war on loudness? Or is things being too loud what we are fighting? Either way, I’m clearly not aware of it.
Since I have no idea what this is all about I’ll just take this time to say that the volume in which people play music at venues is fucking stupid. It’s too loud. I realize I sound like your grandfather complaining about that but, on this last tour I did, I routinely found myself holding my ears in pain cause I simply walked by a speaker. What the fuck is wrong with people? I understand needing to listen to the music they like loud so they can “feel it” but there’s got to be a happy medium where it doesn’t deafen you by simply being in the room. Not sure who to blame here. Sound guys? The audience? the Performers?
Just for the record, if my shows are ever too loud, it’s not my fault. I always ask them to keep the gain at a reasonable level. Some sound guys are just maniacs.

Unrelated to this current blog piece but Yesterday while looking for some Asa Akira porn your blog came up in the google search. That website name looks familar I thought. How did your interview with her come to light? In person , over the phone or email? Nice work!

I did an interview with Kristina Rose first. I know her in real life and she was nice enough to humor me. That went over so well that I figured it would be cool to do another porn star interview. Asa Akira had recently followed me on twitter so I figured it was worth a shot to ask. She kindly obliged and we did the whole thing over email. I pretty much just sent her a one shot questionnaire. I’ve never met her or anything and , honestly, I think I got her to do it in the nick of time cause she really blew up shortly after that. It’s still the most read thing on my blog on most days. The comments people leave on it make me very sad for humanity.

Did you voice an opinion on the east coast west coast beef in the 90s? Seemed like the east bred better lyricists
Being an east coast guy, I obviously rode for NYC in that but I was also a guy who loved a lot of west coast rap. I didn’t care THAT much about the beef. All I knew was that I liked biggie and thought Tupac was overrated. I still feel that way. But it really wasn’t that serious to me. At the time, I was listening to weird underground rap anyway so the whole beef wasn’t really something that was on my mind much when it was going on.
It’s funny cause I definitely knew a few people who took it all very much to heart. Like they would get passionate just talking about the beef as if they were somehow involved in it. Suffice to say, those people were morons.

How many times do you think you’ve touched your own dick in your whole life? And how many times do you think you’ve touched your dick today?

(I don’t about you but I love this question. Guys and their dicks! ha ha ha….)

In my whole life? There is no way I could ever know that number. That staggeringly high number. A million? a billion? Does jerking off count as one touch or is it a series of thousands of touches? Today might be easier as I woke up a half hour ago. Probably like 10 times today so far…but the day is young and I’m definitely gonna put some milage on this thing before it ends.
I’m casually touching it right now, as I proof read these very words!

Answers for Questions vol. 239

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Hi Everyone! Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. You ask, i answer. Wanna be a part of the magic? Well, it’s as simple and thinking of a question and asking me. Do that first part, type it and send it to me via email (phatfriendblog@gmail.com) or leave it in the comment section below. Ask anything you want. all i ask of you is to try and make it interesting. Get creative. Okay? Great. Can’t wait to hear from you.

Where was the sketchiest place you’ve ever done drugs?
I’ve never really been one to do hard drugs in sketchy places (or at all ,really). When I’ve done molly or shrooms, it’s been in safe environments. Does smoking weed count? Cause I’ve definitely smoked weed in some unsavory places. Creepy apartments in the hood, run down shacks in the burbs. Those kinda places.
In general, when I think of being the least comfortable getting fucked up I always think back to this random house party I went to in high school. Some girl from my school had a place in long island and invited us city kids to come party. I had assumed it was some fancy mansion type shit. We get there and it looked like a juggalo’s asshole. A fucked up little house with a lawn that looked like it had been burned. Out back there was a pool with brown water in it filled with years of discarded beer bottles. Her friends were all local scum bags doing weird drugs I had never seen before. The kind you get a super markets that aren’t meant to be drugs. I was just drinking 40’s like a civilized man. At one point, i was on some filthy couch with a friend and some random townie. He was smoking something that wasn’t weed. He proceeded to go on a long rant about how blacks and jews are taking over, casually dropping N-bombs like it’s nothing. It was literally the first time I had been around a truly , out the box racist. Shit blew my mind. My friend and I (both partial jews) just nodded and crept away when his high kicked in enough to not notice us. That was a shady night for sure. Half cause of the whole scene but also cause it was in the middle of nowhere and I would have no idea how to get home had I not had a ride.

I’m sure this has been covered before, but which rappers/producers do you think have the best twitters, instagrams, etc.?

Let’s be honest, musicians (ESPECIALLY rappers) are awful at social networks. Instagram is a little easier but twitter? Goddamn…Thank god for the “mute” button.
That said, there are some people who do a great job.
My man Elaquent’s instagram is mad funny. El-P has a good instagram. Rob Sonic is always good on both twitter and instagram. Open mike Eagle has a good twitter.
You know, looking at it now, it’s not that rappers/producers have a bad social network presence (I’m sure there are plenty of people who feel that way about me, btw) it’s just they post shit that doesn’t interest me. I’m sure their fans are into it. But things like pics with their friends I don’t know, food, tour buses, and their pets? Eh, I’m good on that.


If you had to be in a group like franky valley and the 4 seasons, which guy would you be?
Tiny super high pitched front man?
Low key super deep voice dude?
One of the mid range guys?
Why?

Hmm…that’s tough. It depends if we’re talking about my actual singing capabilities or if this is more about personality. I’d say, singing wise, I’d probably be a mid range guy but I can kinda hit some of those high notes when I sing from my throat. But , if you mean in a more metaphorical sense, I’d be the low voice guy. Kinda in the background but ,at the same time, holding it all together.

When does rap with rock influences cross into rap rock? Or is there a line at all?

Like when does it work? Rarely. I think the only time it works is when it’s done naturally. Also, all parties involved have to have an intimate understanding of what makes good rap music and what makes good rock music. The problem with the mixing of those two styles is that you got one rock guy and one rap guy. Neither really understand the other genre with any real depth so they’re taking the other persons word for it. There’s no middle ground for someone to be like “But wait, that’s corny!”. I’ve long said that the meshing of rap and rock has sucked since run dmc/aerosmith. There have been a few exceptions where people were able to find a really nice happy medium. Honestly, it works best when the rock dudes understand rap. Then they can kinda get in the pocket and adhere their styles to what the rappers do. Cause when rappers try to “rock out” it’s fucking embarrassing for everyone involved.

Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
let’s see…I’ll be a few years from 60.
I have no idea. I imagine I’ll have a kid or two. I also imagine I will not be touring or making rap beats anymore. Man…20 years from now is a scary prospect. So, I’mma go with “I’ll be a person who died in the great manhattan consuming tidal wave of 2032″. That’s an easy answer but as likely as any other bullshit I’ll come up with now.

In high school did you ever skip class, vandalize, or cause ruckus?
I was not that kind of kid. I mean, I did dumb shit but never on a major level. I didn’t get in fights or fuck up school property (outside of drawing on desks).Although I did possibly assist in throwing an entire desk out of a 3 story window. I can’t confirm or deny that though.
I don’t think I even skipped classes, which is funny cause I was someone who didn’t give a shit about school. But I was also someone who didn’t really think outside the box like that. Skipping class had consequences (being in school more) so I figured why bother?
What i did do was get kicked out of class all the time. I was somewhat of a class clown/wise ass and would get thrown out of class on a fairly regular basis for saying dumb shit. It was always in the context of the class though. Like, in 8th grade, I had this unmarried orthodox jewish guy teaching us sex ed. I didn’t know much back then but I was pretty sure he was a virgin. so, I thought it was funny that he was teaching us about sex. I once asked him ” But…What does sex feel like?” and he got furious and bounced me outta class. After that, I made it my mission to ask him uncomfortable questions about sex. He eventually kinda gave up on scolding me and just told me to shut up every time I had a question. It felt like a personal victory.