Answers for questions vol. 222

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Whattup everyone? Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. It almost feels weird doing this cause I did a reddit AMA last week. I’ve answered a LOT of questions doing that but, on the bright side, the majority of those were kinda boring “What inspires you?” or “What’s it like to know aesop?”kinda questions that I generally avoid answering here so I don’t think there was much crossover. These questions are still far more silly and way more fun.
If you’d like to join this fun, send me questions! Either leave them in the comment section below or email them to me at Phatfriendblog@gmail.com. I can always use more questions. Don’t be shy.
Let’s get into this weeks batch.

Block, you have to make the choice to speak, exclusively, in either Snoop Dogg “izzle bizzle shizzle” talk, Das EFX “iggity” talk, or, say an obnoxious “Ha!” after everything you say, a la Juvenile/Kanye West/Ying Yang Twins etc… Which do you choose?
Man, that’s tough. I think I would chose “Ha!” simply cause it wouldn’t make me speak in an embarrassing baby talk. I could still get clear thoughts out of my mouth and, in fact, it would be great for making points. Like “Oh, you like that restaurant? Ha! I heard they got shut down last year for mass amounts of vermin, ha!”
With the other two, not only would I sound ridiculous cause both those types of “speak” are incredibly dated, but it would basically be like me speaking in pig latin.

Do you remember who put you on to a specific song? Its crazy – I can recollect being in 10th grade homeroom and the dude behind me handing me his headphones so I could bump this tune, however I cannot recall the last page in the book I’m reading.

Not with most songs but , sure, there are some songs that stick out.
To be honest, I was typically a guy who sought out music myself and would put people on to it. I don’t mean that in a bragging kinda way. In fact, it’s kinda shitty. Like I always wanted to discover things on my own and would sometimes not give things a proper listen if it played to me by a friend. Then, a few weeks later, I’d hear it again, pay attention and be like “This is dope!”.
One song I specifically recall being put onto was in high school. I saw kids crowded around a bench in the locker room. Like 4 kids were passing around headphones of a walkman. They were freaking out so I was obviously curious. I asked for a listen and it was “Crooklyn Dodgers” by Buckshot, Special Ed and Master Ace. The second I played it , I was like “Ohhhhhhhh…”. i clearly remember that feeling though.

Who do you think has a more difficult time in the heterosexual dating pool – extra short men or extra large women?

Extra large women, obviously. Men are generally far more shallow than women when it comes to who they seek out so I’d imagine being an extra large lady is pretty brutal. Being a really short guy much suck too but there are tons of short girls. I’ve seen plenty of handsome short dudes who get tons of girls. Even tall ones. But really large women? That’s tough. That said, there are men who love extra large women so I imagine part of the process would be seeking out those dudes. I’d be shocked if there wasn’t a website for men seeking big girls. If there isn’t, I’d like to make that website and become a millionaire. If you know how to build websites, holler at me and let’s get money (assuming that webstie doesn’t already exist ten times over).

I read your demo reviews and it’s pretty tough to get praise from you. How often do you listen to signed artists and think, ‘This is crap with few to none redeeming qualities’? Do you feel like most music produced by a real record label has some sort of redeeming qualities even if its not your jam, like at least being polished? Sorry if I have erred in my understanding of music industry terminology, don’t know how it gets produced, just like to listen.

The only difference between listening to demos and music that actually gets put out is generally how well polished it is. Very often, the demo’s will just sound slightly amateurish. That’s a huge separator. Beyond that, mediocre music is mediocre music. 95% of all music made, in my opinion, ranges from “meh” to “That sucks”. But, really, the majority of that music is simply half assed. It’s not terrible. It’s not offensively bad. it’s just some shit that exists cause someone made it. The demo reviews show that. That’s why if I give something a 5/10, it’s not a bad thing. It’s just more of a ” Eh, this is okay…nothing special but certainly not bad”. That’s a common rating cause that’s simply a common level of music made.

What are your thoughts on faking an orgasm? I know its different in a relationship vs random hookup. Lets say in a relationship- is it an awful thing that undermines the trust of the relationship, or is it a convenient white lie?

I suppose it depends. If the girl is a person who normally can achieve orgasm but is having a rough time one night or doesn’t feel it, then I don’t see a problem to throw one out there just to end what might otherwise drag on for her. She will rise again. That said, if she never cums and has been faking for the entire relationship, she’s not only giving the dude false security and teaching him how to have sex the wrong way but she’s also selling herself short. How’s a guy ever going to learn to please a woman if he thinks he’s got it down but doesn’t? This guys walking around thinking he’s rocking her world but, in reality, he’s failing on regular.
I think faking an orgasm should be only done in particular situations but it should never be the norm.

Which NBA team has the tackiest-looking logo? My vote is the Toronto Raptors FOR SURE…but I also only know of like, only three other teams.
I was going to say the raptors. But, and maybe I’m biased with this one, that smug prick on the celtics logo is mad annoying. Look at him.
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Nice sweater vest, guy. Cool bow tie. Even cooler paleolithic era walking stick. Fuck that dude.

while you’re shitting, you read more or just use your phone? Do you think the shitting moment is a sacred moment of relax and reflection?
Been a minute since a good shitting question. I was beginning to wonder what was wrong with you guys.
If I’m home, I’m the type of dude who will bring my entire laptop to the bathroom with me. I’ve made beats while shitting. Granted, I’m most likely sterile because of this but that’s what I do.
When I’m at an an away toilet, I use my phone. I used to read magazines (my bathrooms are littered with old vice, while you were sleeping, xxl, and urb magazines to this very day) but I’d be lying if I said I had looked that them in the last few years.

Answers for questions vol. 221

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Whattup everyone?
So, every now and then, my question box gets low. This is one of those times. I need questions! Time to come out of hiding and let them rip. I’m also in need of new “Ask Dr. Tony” questions, so , anyone looking for advice, I’m your guy.
Send all questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments section below. It’s anonymous and for the love of the sport.
I should also mention, I’ll be doing a Reddit AMA (ask me anything) on thursday. 3pm eastern time. I’ll have more details on that later in the week so check back on my twitter/facebook.
Okaaaaaay? Word.

Do you think the term taking a procreative dump to describe childbirth is too crass?

I’d more say that’s not a term and simply something you made up. Conversely , I’d be curious to know what the equal “term” would be for taking a dump , in comparison to having kids might be. “Dropping the kids off at the pool” is a famous one but maybe we could think of one slightly more poetic. I’m open to suggestions.

If you were to write a self help book, what would you name it? What new and unique idea would be this books selling point?

My self help book would be called “Get over yourself, no one cares” and it would be aimed at people who think that they matter, in the larger scheme of things. People who think the minutia of their dumb lives have any bearing on other people around them whatsoever. This would include chapters on “You and your kids”, “Your relationships” , “Your Job”, etc…
I think the selling point would be to remind people that we are all just grains of sand on a giant beach and, eventually , a wave will come wash us all away. With this in mind, stop being a self righteous dip shit about everything and just live your life…cause , in general, no one gives a shit.

I recently went to one of your shows and thought the visuals were pretty sweet (you had some video footage mirrored across the center). Do you do all of your own visuals? If so, what do you use to make them? How specific are they to the song? Do you make any attempt to sync whats happening on the screen with the changes in the music?
My most recent visuals were made by this dude Big mention out of Wichita , KS. He’s a music and visual artist I met while doing shows. He basically put together all the images, fucks with them, and sends me a DVD. The Images are definitely arranged arbitrarily but I’ve found that that kinda works on a few different levels. Sure, it’s not always gonna make sense with what music is playing at every moment but, being that my set changes show to show, I couldn’t have a definitive visual dvd I tour with.

When you’re playing ball do you allow yourself one wild/forced shot (mine is typically a drive) per game, being that if you make it you’re then granted one (MAYBE two) more? This is extended to all team members.
I mean, bad shots happen. Kinda depends where I land in the pecking order of scorers on whatever team I happen to on.. If I’m one of the top two scorers on the team I’ll most likely be taking more shots. If I’m taking more shots, I may force a few here and there. I’m far more likely , at this point in my life, to force up an ill advised jump shot than do a crazy drive that leads to a circus shot. I simply don’t take it to the hole like that anymore. But , in general, I don’t actively think about getting off a wild shot once a game. If it happens, it happens and I generally end up being like “my bad” to the rest of my team after I miss it.

hey, blockface,

i’m a long time listener, first time colander…

what’s your initial response when you hear the news that some well known rapper has died?

is it any of the following: (?)

1. “thank fuck they’re gone”

2. “i don’t recall ever caring about them”

3. “that name reminds me of a typo i seen on a twitter comment once”

4. “i better paypal some cash to the deceased rappers family member so they can bury him/her”

5. “i haven’t listened to their album since the 80s”

6. somethin else

Depends on the rapper but, generally, i don’t get too sad about the passing of famous people. Unless I know them personally, it’s kinda sad but…you know, shit happens. It really only effects me if it was someone I greatly respected and who was still in their prime. Like when Patrice O’neal died, I was pretty bummed.
I tend to be pretty annoyed by the outpouring of fake digital tears that follow the deaths of famous people. People almost treat some of their deaths like it’s a cause or that it only happened to them. Everyone has to say something or write a long winded facebook post about what that person meant to them. Unless you personally knew the person, I think anything beyond a simple “RIP” isn’t really necessary. But, hey, that’s just me.

Yo Tony, I just did a 2 year prison stint down in Mississippi….it was horrible, considering their judicial system and such, plus most people in the delta are fucking retarded. One of the worst parts of it was missing out on Phatfriend shenanigans! I sincerely missed this shit…..that is until I got a hold of a cell phone, but blogging loses it’s charm when you’re worried about a corrections officer sneakin up and slappin that contraband charge on ya!!

But…i’m out now, and it’s awesome. don’t worry, it wasn’t over anything sketch, just abunch of weed and mushrooms. Have you ever had to deal with corporal punishment?? If you had to go do time for any reason at all, do you think you could handle it? what would you do, you think? Become a born again christian? join a white supremacy gang? sell cigarettes? gamble on basketball games? Play chess? God forbid this ever happens to you, but what do you think you would do in that situation???

Welcome home, bro. That’s ridiculous you did two years over a drug charge but hopefully things are changing for the better where those matters are concerned.
Anyway, I’ve never had any issues with the law. I’ve never been arrested. I’ve always been pretty law abiding but, more so than that, I’ve just been very careful. I don’t know when it got instilled in me but I’ve always done things with the consequences in mind. That’s stopped me from doing all sorts of shit I might have otherwise tried.
If I had to go to jail, I don’t know what would happen. you hear the stories and see the things on tv then assume it’s a constant race war and rape factory. If that’s the reality, I’d imagine I wouldn’t last very long. I’m definitely not a white supremacist and doubt i could even fake that so my only chance for safety would be out the window. I’d like to think I would keep to myself and stay out of the way of everyone. Just try to do my time and quietly as possible. You know, like a real pussy. I 100% would not find god. Perhaps I’d read a lot. I hear people play scrabble in jail , so I’d become part of the scrabble gang.I’m already pretty god at it so maybe those skills would elevate me through the ranks into a boss of the scrabble crew. That or I’d get shanked and murdered the first week. You never know. All the more reason for me to never ever find out. #pussylife is a free life.

Family Feud Appreciation

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Family Feud has been on as long as I can remember. I watched it as a kid, I watched it as a teen, I watched in my early 20’s and I watched it last night. That said, I never really gave a shit about. In fact, I never though about it until one day I was at a friends house. This friend was one of those dudes who never had cable. It’s not something I every considered much but only having the basic networks will force a persons hand. He knew about all the judge shows and game shows. He knew when they came on and he knew which ones were worth your time. Without question, Family Feud was hi favorite. He’s spring to his feet to turn it on like “Oh, shit, the feud is on!”. To me, a man who’s had cable forever, I was like “What the fuck are you even babbling about?”. But , after a few rounds, I got it. This was decades ago but it left it’s mark on me for sure.
Let’s be honest, Family Feud is a dumb game show for families. In the past, it was hosted by a variation of smiling men who later would prove to be insanely depressed or crazy. Behind the scenes, there was lots of sadness and despair. A few suicides, Lots of drinking, and even more forced mouth kissing. But this isn’t about that. Admittedly, when those era’s were happening, I wasn’t tuned in much. Same goes for the later “Let’s clean up our image” years, where they got people like Joey Fatone from N’ Sync and the white haired guy from Seinfeld to host. Fuck those years. As far as I’m concerned, Family Feud has two golden eras. The louie Anderson years and the current version with Steve Harvey.
Louie Anderson was a lovable fat comedian who clearly hated himself. He wasn’t pretty to look at and he seemingly didn’t get along with other people. It’s because of this that his seasons were so good. Unlike former hosts who bought a certain sexual energy to the table, Louie bought a eunuch vibe mixed with a man who had clearly thrown in the towel. While this may sound awful in theory, let’s also remember, he was a comedian in 80’s. Those were some dark souls. So, the dynamic of the show was a dark soul dealing with the most wide eyed and stupid families you could find on this planet. In that era, the Feud was noticeably more white. To be honest, the racial element of the feud has become one of it’s greatest assets but I’ll get to that later.
Louie was fun. He was subtly patronizing but kept on his game face enough that it never got fully out of hand. It should also be noted that louie had one of the least “made for tv” voices ever and he was seemingly drunk as fuck very often. Like, he would lean on contestants in order to not fall over. That’s so real.
Louie was great but, as far as I’m concerned, his years were not the golden era. No, we are living in the golden era. The Steve Harvey Era. It shocks me as much as it shocks you. For one, Steve harvey is the worst, right? His stand up is terrible, his movies/books about dating make me wanna castrate myself and bleed all over tyler perry. But, for some reason, his work as the host of Family Feud is flawless. I don’t know if it’s his temperament or his ability to get along with various kinds of people but he is the perfect host. He’s funny and not in a corny way. Like , I actually like him as a person after watching the show. Huge suits and all.
In my eyes, what has made the show so great in it’s newest incarnation is not just Harvey. It’s the guests and the questions. It’s as if Harvey came along and they decided “We should make Family feud a loving and enjoyable race war every week…”. So, where they might have had two Blonde, huge toothed WASPS families named “The smiths” and “The Walters” in 1988, They’ve gone a new , awesome direction. They strictly pull from two pools. The whitest of all white families (no jews allowed) where mothers have names like “pepper” and the god fearing is palpable OR the most amazing southern black families where mothers have names like “Expedition” and the grandma is always the horniest person in the room. Also, lots of god fearing.
They pit these two unfathomably different (yet secretly quite similar) family types against one another and the result is pure bliss. Steve is especially in heaven cause he’s running circles around them. Both family types are dumb enough to make it interesting but just smart enough to drop jewels on occasion.
And the questions! While , back in the day, a question like “Name a type of bird you see in a park” might have been expected, the new version has embraced that viral clips can fuel a fan base. So, they set them up to either mess up or say outlandish shit. Specifically, sexual stuff said by old women or creepy dads. The trolling and baiting is in full effect. Add on Steve Harvey patiently egging them on and you have what is known as TV magic.
So, i would like to honor this unsung hero of game shows today. My hats off to you! Here is a compilation of great moments to bring it all home. God bless you, Steve harvey’s family Feud.

Answers for questions vol. 220

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Happy new year! 2015, right? That means we got, what? Like 35-50 more years left? I for one look forward to them.
Anyway, welcome to another edition of answers for questions. You ask, I answer. As always, I’d love you to submit more questions. Get weird! be creative! it’s all anonymous and no one will judge you (except me, if the question is really boring or stupid). Send questions to me at- phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. I’d love to hear from you.
Let’s see what the new year has in store for us…

Asking someone what or who inspired them always is a stale question. But do you think you inspired other people? Do you think you’d be able to tell? Like if you here someone’s music and think: ‘hey that sounds a bit like me!’ or ‘that guy ripped my shit!’?

I can definitely hear it on occasion. Honestly, more in my “demo reviews” than I do any music I hear on my own. My response is definitely “Hey, that sounds a bit like me!” and not so much “That guy ripped my shit!”. I mean, if i lay claim to being the guy who layers tons of samples, that would cast a pretty big net and also be incredibly ego maniacal on my part. I wasn’t the first and won’t be the last.
That said, I’ve never really seen someone who was inspired by me on a larger level. I know younger , successful artists who have told me they “grew up listening to me” (btw, that’s how you make a person feel very old) but I can’t say I hear a ton of my influence in their music.

I have been reading your blog for sometime now and just wanted to say thanks. Also would like to ask if you had any suggestions as to where one should turn for guidance when they, their family, and friends don’t know any better?
To me, obviously.
Nah, that’s a tough one. Family is one thing. You can’t pick who births you. I know everyone is on some “You only get one family and you should blindly love them” kinda shit but I disagree. Plenty of worthless assholes procreate and , by no means, should anyone feel compelled to follow those types of people. And this is coming from a person with a generally great family.
Your friends, however, are something you can control. If your friends are so shitty that there isn’t a single one you can turn to for help or advice? You need new friends. Or join the army. From the sound of it, you’re living amongst shitheads everywhere you turn. Getting out of that scene would be your best option, if possible.
Maybe get a shrink, if you can afford it.

Do you have any thoughts on the Vice CEO, Shane Smith?
I have mixed feelings about him.
On one hand, when i’ve seen/heard him in interviews, he comes across as a really smart, informative guy who’s lived a fairly crazy life. And, unlike his former partner Gavin Mcguinniss , he hasn’t becomes a crazy person so set in his contrarian ways that he’s now a right ring talking head for fox news (which is really unfortunate cause Mcguiness was one of the funniest dudes ever).
That said, I know a few people who know him (smith) pretty well who have nothing good to say about him. So, while I respect him and think he does some good things, the personal shit I’ve heard about him definitely taints that.

If you had to go on the show Shark Tank tomorrow, and pitch one business idea, what would it be?
Love that show.
I’ve certainly sat around, watching it and thinking of what I could bring to the table. Sadly, I don’t think I have an inventors mind. For one, I don’t know how to “do” anything. So, the technological aspect of creating would end right there. Secondly, I’ve never been a great starting idea guy. I’m much better at taking someone else’s half baked idea and turning it into something much better. In fact, I’d be a great “shark tank consultant”.
But if I had to come up with one pitch?
It’s something I’ve spoke about before (I think on my podcast) but a bed with a built in urinal. Sadly, it only works for men (cause we have dicks) but it would be a way to not have to leave bed and pee, so you can roll over and go right back to sleep. The technology is all out of my realm but , goddamnit, if someone could perfect that, the world would be a better place. The sales to drunks alone would be in the millions.

Which is funnier, “that is as useful as a bag of dicks” or “that is as useful as a bag of smashed buttholes”

I vote for “bag of dicks” only cause it makes more sense. “Smashed buttholes” selling point is that it’s the less common saying, thus it sounds more original when you hear it. But, really, what is a smashed butt hole? In their essence, buttholes are holes. how do you smash a hole? Maybe if it were “torn buttholes” it might make more sense. Or “blown out buttholes”. That said, depending who you are, I’d imagine a bag of dicks might be pretty useful to the right person. A bag of limp dicks…now that would be completely useless.

I have questions concerning Album Artwork. Because I am someone who is paying attention to those things and they are also effecting the way of how I experience music. (Owen Brozman’s Artwork is genuine! I love it, especially “The Music Scene”. Creates a whole new world in my head). How important is that to you and your music. And what is your favorite artwork?

Honestly, when it comes to that kinda shit, I don’t care THAT much. I’ve always been an audio guy as opposed to a visual guy. By that, I mean I don’t sit around agonizing about it and putting a whole lot of thought into it. When it’s time to come up with artwork, I like to get a simple idea and just throw it at the artist. In my case, it’s been Owen Brozman who’s done all the artwork on my last 4 albums. We’re old friends and have a very smooth working relationship. He’s able to hear my idea and make it come to life.
Basically, I let the artist do the work. Cause that’s what he’s good at. I trust him. Sure, I might ask for a change here and there but, for the most part, once I give the most basic idea, I try and step away from it all. I’m definitely not one of those meticulous people who lords over every aspect of my album. I handle the music and everything else gets delegated elsewhere in a fairly casual manner.

Blockhead, what do you think is more offensive behavior – Not letting ppl off the train before getting on or not giving you seat up to elderly ppl

100% not letting people off the train before getting on. While it’s always good to give your seat to an old person, sometimes you aren’t paying attention or there’s no room to move. That’s one of those “It’s the right thing to do” kinda situations but it’s not a rule. Where as people who rush onto a train where people are getting out might has well have been raised by savages in a jungle. Who does that? Not only is it rude but it makes no kind of sense. People get off and make room for people getting on. When you cross those streams, you’re fucking up the flow for everyone.
Not giving your seat up to an elderly person isn’t great etiquette but, at the same time, there is an element of “I was here first” when it comes to seats in the subway. Especially if you have a long ass ride ahead of you. I’m not saying it’s okay, but it’s nowhere near the foul that barging on to an emptying train is.

Resolutions and reality

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I don’t think I’ve ever made a new years resolution. I’ve never been one for promises I can’t keep and I also know myself well enough to know that I’m full of shit.
As the new year rolled in, timelines on all the social networks began to fill with stunted words of wisdom, spiritual banalities and people speaking on all the ways they’re gonna change their lives in 2015. One day ago, they were smoking a pack a day, burning bridges and cheating on their wives but now we gotta write a different year on a check,so it’s gonna change. No doubt. I’ve long thought that people don’t change as much as they evolve. My this, I mean if you’re a selfish asshole at 20 years old, you’ll still be a selfish asshole at 40. Just a more refined and sharpened version of the one you used to be. Obviously, this theory isn’t a fact and there are plenty of cases you’re probably coming up with in your head that might disprove it. But, in general, I truly believe it (but recognize there are exceptions to all rules).
Anyway, as it is the second day of a new year, I wanted to look at some common resolutions and the reality of those resolutions. In many ways, we are the only people that can better ourselves. A clock turning 12 does not have any bearing on you and you’re personal faults.
So, let’s look at 5 common resolutions and their realities.

Resolution 1: I’m gonna start working out
Reality: I’m gonna join a gym. I’ll start at the weights and tell myself “once I get my wind back, I’ll get a personal trainer” but weights are heavy and my shoulders hurt. Holy shit, I’m sore. So, maybe I’ll just go run on the machines. I’ll try the treadmill and maybe run half a mile at a brisk pace, then get bored and try the stationary bikes. Wow, even more boring. The elliptical looks like way to many pieces moving at once and that scares me. Back the tread mill to walk at a slight incline at about 2.8 mph while listening to a podcast. Wow, these locker rooms are disgusting. I just way an old man sit on his balls. I do this routine maybe twice then slowly make excuses why I can’t make the gym. Turns out exercising is both really hard and tedious. No wonder I never do it. I remain a member of the gym for 6 months but cancel my membership once summer rolls around cause “I’m gonna be outdoors a lot anyway”.

Resolution 2: I’m gonna quit smoking
Reality: January 1st…not one cigarette. Feeling great. I miss it but I can do this. A few days pass, feeling the itch pretty heavy but holding strong. I go out and grab a meal and some drinks with friends. Actively trying to not think about how good that cigarette would be right now. A few drinks later, fuck it. I can have just one. I smoke a cigarette but make a deal with myself that, as long as I don’t buy a pack, I’m still okay with this. I bum like 6 cigarettes that night from my friends. Wake up the next day feeling the shame. Get back on the horse. Fall right back off the horse a few days later. This back and forth continues for a little while till I eventually come to terms that I’m not ready to quit. I promise myself I’ll do it next year as I buy myself a pack.

Resolution 3: Be a nicer person
Reality: I do my best to listen to people and not just hear them. I try to be gracious to talk to people, instead of at them. I try not to judge people too quickly or make rude comments for no reason.
Oh wait, I’m an asshole. This is impossible.

Resolution 4: Be on time from now on!
Reality: The first week, i set serious time goals. I’m hyper aware of when I must arrive places and very cued in to how long getting somewhere might take. I add on “just in case” travel time that will help me not get set back by things I can’t control. It’s going great for a week. I’ve been early to work for the whole week and I feel good about this. I make plans to go meet some friends out. They are gonna be there around 10. Around 10? Hmm…no rush. I show up at 11:30. Whatever…it wasn’t that important and no one cared. Next week, I’m showing up to work right on time. I’d be early but it’s getting kinda cold out and my bed is really comfortable. Next week, I tell a friend I’ll meet them to see a movie. The movie is at 8 but we should get there at 7:30 so we can make sure it doesn’t sell out. I’m about to leave my place but get caught up in the end of this CSI episode. Oops. I arrive at 7:55 and the movie is sold out. My bad! Won’t happen again. Next week, I’m coming into work about 5-10 minutes late every day. By this time, I have forgotten I ever even made this stupid resolution so, see you next year!

Resolution 5: Be more caring to people who are less fortunate
Right off the bat, I donate some money to a cause. So, good start. I also gave that homeless guy on my block my leftovers. He asked what it was and if it had dairy in it. It did. Hope he’s not lactose intolerant! I go on the internet and look into possibly helping at a soup kitchen sometime. Maybe do some work with kids in halfway homes. Take a few notes of possible places I can work in. Put that not on a desk or table somewhere. oh wait, where’s I put that? Shit…it’s lost. Oh well, I can just go back online. I’ll do that later. Masterchef is on. I don’t do that later and never find that piece of paper. Cleaning lady must have thrown it out. Whatever, I donated money. That’s more than most people can say. Man, this wine is good. what was I talking about? I forget. God, I love wine.

But, hey…maybe you’re one of the exceptions. If you’ve made a new years resolution and truly tend to stick by it, I salute you. You’re a better man/woman than me. If it doesn’t work out though, don’t feel bad. New years resolutions are bullshit anyway. If you really wanna change , it shouldn’t depend on a roman calendar’s page flipping. You can always try again in june. Happy new year.

Answers for questions vol. 219

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What’s up everyone?
OMG can you believe it’s almost 2015?I can’t even! ROFL! I, like, haven’t even started on my resolutions from last year! I guess next year will be the year I stop smoking and lighting homeless people on fire while they sleep. Fingers crossed!
Anyway, welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. It’s simple. You ask stuff, and I answer it. If you would like to be a part of the magical whimsy, shoot me a question or two. Either email it to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave the questions in the comment section below. This week is an intersting one. More “random” than usual. I like it. Check it out…

What’s your take on Kirk Cameron? hahaha like what is the DEAL with that guy?

Is it to easy to just call him a crazy person and be done with it? I mean, at the core, that’s what I think of him. Really, any off the wall ,over the top religious person is a lunatic in my eyes. With Cameron, you can literally see it in his eyes. He’s not there. The workers have checked out but someone left a light on.
One thing I’ve been curious about, concerning him, is when did all this jesus freak shit start with him? I’m too lazy/don’t care enough to google it but was he always that guy? If so, how did he hide it while on “Growing Pains”? I definitely recall him marrying that hot girl who played his girlfriend on the show and thinking “That makes sense” but I suppose she could have been a jesus freak too. It’s too late now but someone could have made a great documentary on the evolution of Kirk Cameron. Well, maybe not the evolution. I’m sure he hates that word.

what do you think of producers like timbaland?

I thought you said you like the 1st clipse album. Which was the neptunes

I think missy and tim make some pretty unique hip hop

Does blockhead listen to a timbaland beat and be like. I can make that or do you kind of respect it for what it is even though it’s not like boom bap?

Or is this dumb and I should punch my own balls now ?

Timbaland and the Neptunes are awesome. Easily two of the most important and original producers of my lifetime. They may be two of the only hip hop producers who made consistently good pop music. Anyone who hates on either of those two , in a historic sense, has no fucking idea what they’re talking about. I will say that I never liked missy though. Those songs were good cause of the beats, not cause of that nursury rhyme bullshit she was rapping over them.
If I listen to a timbaland beat, I don’t think for a moment that I could do that. He’s a different level than me in pretty much every way. Dude is a genius.

Why do you think Canadians say “sorry” so much? (sorry)

I’d say that all goes back to them being so fucking polite all the time. They’re not an aggressive people. Sometimes saying “sorry” when it’s not necessary is done to defuse any possible negative interaction. At the same time, saying “Sorry” too much is also something abused people do. It’s hard to say.
I know I apologize on the basketball court more than I probably should and I do it just to make other feels better and not get down on themselves. So perhaps canadians are all about just making others around them feel better about things? They’re just sooooooooo nice.

Who would be more difficult to work with (if you were in the acting biz), Mike Myers or Bruce Willis?

I know a few people who know Mike Myers and they say he’s a totally sweet, quiet guy. Where as I’ve heard Bruce willis is somewhat of a prick. Which makes sense…So, I’d go with Myers. In general, I’d bet the comedic people are easier to get along with than the movie star people.

How comfortable are you holding a baby?
Hmm…At first I’ve very uncomfortable. It also depends on who’s baby it is. The better I know the parents, the more comfortable I am. Which is odd cause you’d think that would make me worry more about dropping the kid. Also, it depends on how little the baby is. I’m not trying to hold your new born. Them shits are way too fragile. But, outside of “hot off the presses” babies, once I get a hang of it, I’m good to hold that baby until my arms get tired. Which is like, I dunno, 4 minutes. Then you can have your baby back. Thank you and good day.

What is the suckiest part of winter for you – the temperature, the ground, or the amount of daylight?

I’d go with the temperature. When it gets below 30 degrees, it makes me not wanna leave me house. The amount of daylight doesn’t really effect me as i’m more of a night owl anyway. And the ground? Well, snow is fine when it’s happening and shitty for a few days afterwards but I own boots so it’s no big deal.

How much do you care about The Simpsons?
At this point in my life? Not a single tiny bit. I haven’t watched the simpsons in probably 15 years. I used to LOVE that shit but then , for no particular reason, i stopped caring. It’s one of those things that I fully recognize it’s brilliance, respect the shit out of it but simply never feel like partaking in it. Like voting and reading. I certainly would never look down on anyone who was a huge simpsons fan. I’m more of a south park guy though.

Would you spend 1 month in the clink for unlimited food at every restaurant . (Only can get food for yourself)

Ummm….Nah, b.
I love food. I love it so very much but I’m not trying to go to jail to get more of it. I was talking to my girl the other day, after spending too much money on a meal, about how I’m okay with blowing cash on food. It’s the only thing I ever splurge on and it’s worth it to me. Also, I’m a glutton. If you give me the option to eat as much as I can, I will. That’s not good for anyone. I’m trying to not be a rolly-poly fat fuck so the less free food the better.

Answers for questions vol. 218

rabbit-xmas
Can you feel that? That holiday spirit? Me neither. I almost forgot christmas was in a few days until I was reminded a festive drink menu at a local bar.
I hope you and yours have a good holiday. Eat food. Get gifts. Whatever.
Side note: I got some shows coming up next year. Check these dates. I’m hitting a lil’ west coast. Some middle america, a little midwest…
http://blockheadmusic.com/ Also, I’m waiting to hear about some european dates in late february/early march. I’ll let you know when those are official.

Oh yeah…Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. You ask, I answer. As always, I’d love you to contribute. If you’d like to ask me anything, get creative and send me questions to my email: Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave it in the comment section below. Have fun with it, bro.
Let’s see what we got working today…

I have a big pet peeve for rappers saying some shit in an attempt to sound smart but not making any sense. A particular line from Cannibus comes to mind. It’s the hook for his song with common where he says, “I am your worst nightmare squared that’s double for n#ggas who aint mathematically aware.”

The only occasion when a number times two (double) and a number squared are the same thing is with the number two. 1 squared is 1 and 3 squared is 9, neither are doubled by squaring them. What makes it worse is he’s dissing others for not being up on their math skills while clearly not being up on his own.

Is it right to nitpick so intensely about rap lines? Should rappers be called out when they say some shit to sound smart that is just factually incorrect?

Oh I think rappers should be called out all the time for shit like that. Anyone should. People who go out of their way to sound smart but are actually kinda morons is something that’s been going on in rap for a minute now. Think of all those underground rappers from the late 90’s/early 2000’s whose whole style was based on them being “Mystical and lyrical”. It was a bunch of dudes telling you they are deep and smart but never showing it. I can’t front, I think all of us who were rapping in that style did a lot of that though. I sure as hell did , back when I still rapped.
On the other hand, you got rappers who I don’t consider dumb who make some simple errors. Like the RZA can’t pronounce the “Benevolent” or Nas refer to “Sly stone in cobra”. Those are more just basic fuck ups. It’s the ones who think they’re bringing lofty ideas to the table but speaking out their asses that really need to get checked.

What up Block? As a producer that used to rap I was wondering if you ever write anymore, bust a rhyme while you’re making a ham sandwich or get around your friends and freestyle just for fun?
Never. A decent line will pop in my head every now and then but then it fades away pretty quickly. At best, I’ll jokingly tweet it. I used to freestyle all the time too but I feel like I would be awful at this point.
I dunno. when I stopped rapping seriously, I did it with conviction. It was not my calling.

What are your top three beverages?
1. Honest tea green tea- I drink this all the time. I love it.
2. Water- Yup. I drink tons of water. I buy bottled water pretty regularly and it’s one of the few norms in my fridge.
3. Ginger ale- I don’t drink it that much but it’s the only soda I drink with any regularity. Pretty much , only with dinners on occasion.
Shout out to yerba mate tea (I drink it before I play ball sometimes and it feels like I’m on cocaine) and Gus’s cranberry/lime soda. That shit is dope.

Thanks to you I have a number of downloaded Nina Simone songs on my phone. What’s your opinion on the controversy of Zoe Saldana playing her in the upcoming film?
Zoe-Saldana-Nina-Simone-300x213
Twinnnnnnz!
It’s an odd choice. I mean, Saldana is a beautiful, skinny, light skinned girl. Simone was dark, had a normal build and definitely wasn’t the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen. That said, sadly, there aren’t exactly a ton of actresses who can sell a movie who look like Nina Simone. I mean, surely they could find someone who’s a little closer to Simone in a few ways but maybe they’ll do to Saldana what they did to Charleze Theron in “Monster” and cover her with prosthetics.
I feel as though this is more a “hollywood” problem as the point o movies is to make money. To make money, you have to draw a crowd. To draw a crowd you have to have someone who appeals to a wide range of people. All these things work against this movie being successful. If they had casted an unknown actress who looked more like Simone, I doubt the movie ever gets made. That’s the unfortunate reality of shit like this.
To be honest, I’m equally concerned with her acting chops as I am with how little she resembles Simone. She’s a good enough actress , i guess, but that role just doesn’t make sense for her.
At the end of the day, most music biopics are pretty bad and leave a lot to be desired. i don’t see this being much different.

Were you a Columbia House cd subscription member back in the day?
I think I did it a few times but it was cassettes. My problem with Columbia house was that they had a really shitty rap selection so it never appealed to me. At that time, I only fucked with hip hop shit so getting the eagles greatest hits and INXS albums wasn’t exactly a big draw for me.

What’s the average gender breakdown at your
shows? It’s amazing how male-heavy some of your peers’ shows end up being, but I’d guess that the attendance at yours is more balanced?

It depends. I’d say there is always a good amount of girls at my shows. Not 50% but it’s a rarely a depressing sausage fest. On occasion, though, it will be pretty bro’d out. The last one i remember was Minneapolis earlier this year. There must have been like 10-15 girls there tops and the rest were dudes. No clue why that was but it happened. Then, other nights, you’ll be shocked. I did a sunday show in Jacksonville florida, expecting the worst, and it was full of girls. hot ones too.
I will say that , aside from being pleasurable to the eye, the more girls, the better the show is cause girls dance. and when girls dance, guys follow. If just starts a positive domino effect that I always appreciate.

What other country would you choose to move to judging by their food?

Depends how fat I’m trying to get. If i’m going for both health and flavor, Japan. i could eat ramen and sushi forever. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg with their cuisine.
If I’m just going all out and trying to die from a heart attack by age 50, I’m going with italian. It’s the best. I wish I could eat it constantly but , sadly, I almost never eat it cause it’s so terrible for me. But , in a perfect world, I’m stuffing my face with italian food all day.