Answers for Questions vol. 202

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Hello everyone. I hoped you enjoyed your labor day. I waited till the final weekend of the summer to actually step into the sun and now my legs and arms look like red hots. Awesome.
Anyway, this is where you guys send me questions and I answer them. Simple stuff. If you’d like to join the fun, please do! email me questions at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave the questions in the comment section below. Br creative. Get weird. It makes it more fun for both of us.
Here’s this weeks batch…

Hey blockhead I’m a huge fan of both your music as well as phatfriend and a question id like an answer to is what (in your opinion) was the most freakishly bizarre thing that you’ve seen, heard, or experienced while touring? Im sure its been asked a million times but I really appreciate a good what the fuck moment.

I’ve actually had a fairly tame touring existence. I think that has to do with me not really hitting the road extensively till i was in my later 20’s. I’ve also been in a relationship for most of that time so that kinda wipes out any crazy/funny groupie stories that might happen otherwise. I’m always envious of people in their early 20s who tour. That must be so much fucking fun.
The only stories that pop into mind are ones about safety in cities I was unfamiliar with.
This one time I played a show in Detroit. I was staying in a hotel about 5 blocks from the venue. Being someone who’s used to walking everywhere, this was great for me cause I didn’t have to deal with taking a cab or getting a ride to the show. i could just pack up and make it there on my own. So, I walk to do soundcheck around 4 pm. I Do that and just sorta kick it at the venue till it’s time for me to play. I was an opener so I finished my set around 10ish. I get paid and I’m all ready to walk back to the hotel but the people working there are like “NO!!!!!”. They literally wouldn’t let me walk 5 blocks cause it was night time in Detroit. I tried to make a case of “It’s all good, I’m from NYC and this is how we get around” but I had a dude stand in front of the door like “No man, we’re calling you a cab. Trust me on this one”. So, I drive back (it’s like a two minute drive) and the streets are empty. In my mind, I could easily have just walked back with no issue. The next day, I run into a dude who was also performing that night and apparently he had gotten robbed and punched in the face…in the stairwell of the hotel we were staying in. Fair play to you ,Detroit. You are terrifying. i will never question your safety precautions again.
The other time that I recall is playing in Milwaukee. I finished my set and couldn’t get a cab cause there were too many people already getting cabs outside the venue. So, I did the thing I’d do in NYC and just walk up a few blocks and try and intercept cabs before they hit the main strip. So, I wander into what looks like a suburban residential area. Like nice houses with lawns and shit. I’m kinda drunk so my attention isn’t exactly laser focused. Out of nowhere pops two crackheads. A guy and girl. They start chatting me up and I’m just sorta casually shooting the shit with them. I’m pretty much just waiting to see if a cab comes by while these two crackheads ask me crackhead like questions that are basically working their way towards asking me for a dollar. It’s a dance I’ve done before and it’s no different no matter what city you are in. 5 minutes into this conversation, a little clarity takes over and I realize I’m standing in the hood. I guess I was so oblivious cause, well, it’s Milwaukee…but nah, this was actually a totally fucked up ghetto I was chilling in, on the street , at 2 am with two crackheads. So, I told one of them “Hey man, you find me a cab, I’ll give you 5 bucks” (to be clear, the crackheads were not a threat. They were old, small and cracky). He dashes off and two minutes later a cab pulls up. I honestly have no clue how he did it. I gave him five bucks, wished him and his lady well and got the fuck out of there. Right before the cab pulled up, I looked down the block and saw a mass of people moving my way. they were too far to really see what the deal was but I could tell it was a group of 10-15 people. By the time the cab got there, they were maybe a black away. As I drove by them, I saw a group of drunk teenagers kicking over garbage cans and pretty much just fucking up everything they passed. Like a dust storm of trouble slowly destroying everything in it’s path. So, basically, that crackhead saved me from a possible incident. So, in a way, hooray for crack!

Why do the men of NYC catcall to the extent that they do? It’s in a league of its own (when you compare it to any other major city within an English speaking country that is)
Is it worse here? I’ve never noticed. Clearly, I’m a guy so it never happens to me (except on gay pride weekend) but it’s not something I really pay attention to. Like , i walk by construction workers every day and never see them say shit to women. This in no way means I don’t think it happens (I know for a fact it does) but you’d think , if it was a prevalent ,I’d see it with some frequency. What I do see all the time is scum bags kicking it to girls on the street from their cars. That’s the worst. That and dudes who just creepily stare a hole into girl when they walk by them. I mean, shit, I look at girls when I walk around but I’m at least subtle about it. A quick glance and maybe a head turn if I wanna see the backside. But Some dudes will straight up stop walking and stare at a girl like she’s on fire. The funniest is when I see a gross middle aged dude stare at a wildly mediocre looking girl like that. That’s some “i just got outta jail” shit.
but why is NYC the worst about this? Probably cause it’s the most walkable city in the US and it’s full of people. That alone is gonna make any social interaction more common. Especially ones involving scum bag degenerates.

do have a least favorite follower? Be it twitter, Facebook etc

Like one person you’re like “holy fuck I hate this person “?

I don’t think I can pinpoint one person. I have a bunch of twitter and facebook followers who annoy me. Some say snarky shit for no reason (and aren’t funny). Some do that thing where they just reiterate a joke you just made right back to you. Others are just straight up weirdos who tweet cryptic nonsense at you all the time. Those people scare me a little cause they seem very unhinged. I’m a fan of sanity online so anytime someone comes at me from a weirdo angle, I tend to want that person to go away.
I think what happens is that I’m pretty accessible on those sites and people see I joke around so they assume they can fuck with me like they know me. Problem with that is , they don’t know me and that kinda shit talking (playful or not) doesn’t translate on the internet. It would be different if we were friends and had that familiarity but we are actually total strangers so it doesn’t work like that. I can’t tell when someone is being an asshole or just kidding. And cause there are so many real assholes online, I just assume people are being the worst at all times.
Also, anyone who has ever seriously said “first world problems!” to me after I tweeted a joke, I hate you so fucking much. Not only cause that’s a corny thing to point out on the internet (first world thing right there) but it just shows a lack of creative thought in how you go about interacting with people. Especially strangers online. Basically, it’s something dickheads say to make themselves feel better by trying to make others feel like shit. Fuck that. If you’re following me on any social network, there’s a 95% chance you’re chilling comfortably in the first world.

Which t-shirt slogan do you think best embodies the angle of your average bro on tinder?
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I’m not on tinder so it’s hard to say but, from what I’ve seen, it’s more douche bags than people who can’t speak correct english. So, I think I’d say the “Phat Dong” shirt is most indicative of tinder Culture. A bunch of dudes looking for the quickest possible route inside a strangers vagina. Dudes who wear shirts that reference their dicks generally aren’t the classiest fellows.

Hypothetical question: If sampling became completely outlawed, or for some strange and unimaginable reason it simply didn’t exist any more… Would you attempted to make non sample based music? or just bite the bullet and give up music?

I mean, it’s getting close to that point, isn’t it? People can still sample but making money with that kinda music is basically a wash.
To answer the question, i would be extremely bummed but I think I would push ahead. What I’d probably do would be align myself with some good studio musicians and just “produce” in the old timey sense of the word. I’d do the drums and whatnot but pretty much orchestrate the rest. It would certainly make creating music a pain in the ass and far more complicated but it would be better than nothing.

Answers for Questions vol. 201

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Hello and welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”.
It’s that thing where you ask me anything and answer it. A concept as old as time itself.
Anyway, if you’d like to participate, it’s extremely easy. Either leave me a question in the comment section below or email it right to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com.
It’s all anonymous and the more creative you get with the questions, the better.
Here’s this weeks crop.

How much makeup is too much makeup?

I’m one of those guys who barely notices when a girl changes her hair color, let alone puts on make up. But I will say that I think if you’re wearing enough make up to the point where I notice it, it’s probably too much. As a man who has no business talking about make up habits and very little understanding of all things make up related, my understanding is that it’s best when used lightly. Simply to accentuate certain features and hide others. No one needs to go all Kim Kardashian and have her face look like it just rested in a bowl of tobacco spit for 4 hours. In general, I’m a “moderation is key” kinda guy an that should definitely be applied to make up as well.

Have you ever had a vivid sexual dream about someone that you frequently interact with in real life (who you aren’t sexually attracted to) …and you forget all about it until you see them in person the next day… but then you remember said dream and a sudden rush of weirdness washes all over you???

I honestly haven’t had many vivid sex dreams in my life that I remembered. I’d say a more applicable version of this would be when I’ve been jerking off and a random girl I know that’s I’m marginally attracted to slips into my mind. That’s always a bug out. Though, it doesn’t really carry over into any awkwardness when I see them. It’s not like they know about it. Also, it will make me think “hmm…maybe i kinda wanna have sex with that girl and i never noticed…”
A real boss move would be to tell them and just make everything totally uncomfortable between us. What girl doesn’t wanna hear she was an unexpected guest in a guys random masturbation session?

Who looks the best in their glasses?

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or

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It should be noted that I do not and have never owned a pair of glasses of any sort in my life. So, you know, this isn’t exactly my specialty.
My Vote goes to T-Pain. I’m a simple man and those subtle yellow frames are the only pair, of the three, that don’t scream “somebody! Please look at me! I’m famous and , because of that, have been given cart blanche to look like a dickhead!”
Flo-rida’s are the worst. Those are sunglasses Chris Tucker probably wore in the “Fifth Element”. 2-Chainz hat/sunglasses combo is atrocious but at least he kinda looks like Sly Stone in some really abstract way.

How big of a bitch am i for getting salty that buying a vinyl copy of a newly released album from the artist/label doesn’t automatically include a digital download of said album? In order to get both versions, there is a price that essentially includes the cost of buying the digital version alone combined with the cost of buying the vinyl version alone, with a couple dollars knocked off. (i feel compelled to qualify my frequency of buying music, but whatever, it shouldn’t matter, in general i feel like that’s kind of a poopey deal, and kind of stings of pretentiousness. But that could also just be the smell of an artist trying to survive on their art)

I mean, you can always just illegally download the album, right? That’s still not hard to do. I do think that putting a digital download in vinyl is the right thing to do but not every person/label even remembers to do that. in fact, you asking this very question just reminded me that I should probably do that when I release my new album on Vinyl. Imagine if I didn’t have a blog that had an answers and questions segment! I would have 100% forgot. So, in a way, thanks!

What is the state of hip hop right now in your opinion? dying, thriving, what.. in 2014
So, people are still concerned over the state of hip hop? I can’t believe that’s still a thing. We’re so far past keeping any element of the “culture” intact that questions like this are basically comical. There is no “state of hip hop”. It simply exists for better or worse. It’s not like it’s ever going to just stop. There is good hip hop and bad hip hop. It’s always been that way. On a pop level, it’s pretty atrocious and rappers who are seemingly disabled have never been more popular but, at the same time, lyrical miracle underground rappers are just as boring. The bright side is that there will always be a handful of good rappers making good music. Some are creative and finding newer ways to express themselves and others are more traditional but just have the talent to simply rap well and keep things interesting.
Either way, anyone over the age of 30, sitting around worrying about “The state of hip hop” has got their priorities all fucked up.

What do you like better – the smell of your own armpits or the smell of your farts?

My armpits don’t smell, in general. But, when they do, it’s not a smell I love. My farts however, are terrible and I love them. Sure, they may one day be the reason I’m found dead in my bed with scissors sticking out of my chest at the hands of my girlfriend but, man, my own farts? Excellent and terrible. Who doesn’t love basking is their own farts? Savages, that’s who.

What season do you think is your busiest, in terms of your occupation? When do you think you have the least free time – summer, fall, winter or spring?

Fall is generally the busiest for me cause it’s when I do my most touring. Winter/early spring is a close second for the same reason. I dunno if being on the road makes me “busy” in the sense you’re asking cause it’s not like I’m creating music. In fact, creatively, it’s one of my least “busy” times. But I’m “working” the most. I’d say, creatively, I tend to make the most music in the beginning of winter. I’m usually just back from the road and somewhat inspired. Being on the road will do that to you. Summers too. The thing about the summer is that the only shows that exist are festival shows so I have tons of free time. It’s technically a great time to make music. Only problem is, it’s summer and I’m always trying to be out and about when I can so sometimes that takes over a little.

Answers for Questions vol. 200

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Wow. 200 of these. How? why? It amazes me you people still send me questions and for that, I’m grateful. If you’d like keep this party going, send me your questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Get weird. Get creative. This is for entertainment so a boring question isn’t helping anyone.
Also, this might be a good time to thank everyone who has submitted a question over the years. Without you, I’d be doing a little less with my monday mornings and for that, I want you to know you’re appreciated.
Anyway, let’s get into this weeks batch.

views on public crotch scratching?

Listen, sometimes a person has an itch that needs to be scratched. I think protocol for doing it in public is to be as quick and nonchalant as possible. You can’t be digging around in your underwear for too long before it starts looking like something else. It’s similar to scratching/picking your nose. If you do it too long , with too much zeal, people are gonna think you’re picking instead of scratching.
Personally, when i have an itchy crotch, I do my best to just knock it out with one movement and I try to make it look like an adjustment, rather than a full on scratch. Ideally, I’m just trying to not be that guy on the train with his arm down his pants to his elbow, vigorously “scratching”. Pretty sure you can get a ticket for that. In fact, depending on who’s sitting near you when you do it, you might get put on a list and have to tell everyone in your neighbor hood about how you can’t go within 50 feet of schools. Not a good look.

So what’s the best way to get in contact with talented producers and find the right beats? I need real good production and not “youtube-beats”. Do you have any advice when it comes to searching for the perfect sounds fitting my concept and where to look/get in touch with people? I don’t mind spending money if it means I’ll get the real deal.

I really don’t know. I’ve never needed beats. I’d imagine soundcloud would be a great place to find talented people willing to working with strangers. If you’re speaking on more established people, you probably will have to go through their management. That’s how I’ve always done it. A great way to get ignored is to hit up established artists via twitter or facebook. Pretty sure that’s worked maybe .0000293281% of the time so ,if i were you, I’d skip that.
You know what might me a good way to do it? Go through my old demo reviews and look for a guy who makes stuff that fits your interests. Hit him up and take it from there. I see that working way better than just seeking out some guy you’re a fan of and over paying for his throwaway tracks. You gotta find a person who’s at the same level as you and who has the same hunger. Preferably, someone willing to work with you for free cause neither of you have anything to lose.

If you were in a different position and had to make ends meet, which of the following nyc jobs would be the least appealing to you:

A) Telemarketer
B) Weed Delivery Guy
C) Sidewalk Petitioner (many ppl think that they’re volunteers, but I’m quite certain they’re paid)

C by a landslide. Not only is that humiliating work, those people are some of the most annoying people on earth. Not only are they relentless but they are smug and they also use guilt to force your hand. Like , I’ll be walking down the street , going to get my lunch, and they’ll be like “Do you support gay rights?!” Well…yeah…of course…but I just wanna go get my lunch. I don’t wanna be on a mailing list and i don’t wanna donate money to a stranger on the street cause he has a clipboard. But if you say “nah”, you look like an asshole. They also sometimes do that thing where they’ll walk up to you and shake you hand like they know you. That’s the worst for me cause I often forget that I’ve met people (especially at shows and stuff like that) and I end up wracking my brain trying to remember who this person is. Turns out they’re a total stranger who’s way too comfortable with his job of annoying people. There are literally dozens of streets near where I live that I no longer walk down during the day specifically to avoid dealing with these people.
Side note, aside from the danger of being arrested, being a weed delivery guy seems like it might be kinda fun.

I was wondering what equipment you listen to music on? I consider myself an audiophile and without my high end headphones I could not explore and enjoy all of the subtle nuances in your music and others’ music. What are your thoughts on sound quality in general?
I’m not an audiophile at all. Not even close. I listen to music on some decent bose speakers and my Ipod headphones are some bullshit sony ear buds. I feel as though, coming up in an era where a lot of what i listened to was third generation cassette re-recordings off of radio shows set the bar pretty low. I love a good sound system but I don’t generally listen to music that loud anyway. The only team it really matters is when I’m mixing something of mine, but other than that, I’m pretty lo-fi in general.

What is you male take on some recent women’s fashion trends? Specifically: high-waisted shorts and maxi (floor length) dresses and skirts. I’m in my early 20s but I can’t get down with wearing either of these, even though they are popular among my peer group. When I wear either, I feel way too much like my mom in the 90s. I don’t think either are particularly flattering either, I swear I’ve never met a guy who likes those high shorts haha. What do you think?
To add to that also: What has been your favorite and least favorite fashion trend(s) over the years. For men or women. And, yes, I understand this is probably coming from a dude who isn’t big into fashion and your opinions on women’s clothing are probably whatever is the most “sexy” or “attractive”.
Like all men, I’m not a fan of the high waisted shorts/pants/jeans. It’s as if you ladies sought out the least flattering style of pants and all agreed to make it a thing. Not only do they make even a fit girl look like she has a slight gunt, they also ruin perfectly good asses. It really boggles my mind that any girl would want to look like that.
The maxi dress thing is new to me. I’m not even clear what it is but , in general, if I see a girl with a skirt down to the floor, I assume she’s an orthodox jew or something. That said, those don’t bother me as much cause, honestly, I don’t see them as often as the high waisted pants craze.
Take this all with a grain of salt though cause I’m a guy who truly misses the low rise jean era so, clearly, my fashion sense isn’t ruled by class. I realize how corny those pants were but, goddamn, they were the most boner inducing pants prior to girls who wear leggings and nothing else.
As favorite fashion things…girls in leggings/yoga pants are my #1. Sorry. I know that’s like being a yankee fan not from NY but it is what it is. Male fashion? I don’t fucking know. I’m a middle of the road, never wear anything flashy kinda guy. so I’m a fan of anything that isn’t “extra”. I like plain shit for men. I think when men try too hard with fashion, they look like assholes. “caring” in general, if respect to male fashion, is not a good look in my opinion.
Least favorite fashion things…I already got into the high waisted pants thing but another thing girls have embraced recently are some raggedy ass huckleberry fin jeans. Like dumpy jeans with holes in the knees. It’s like the new sweat pants of something. Well, it looks like shit and might as well be a potato sack. Not a fan of that. You’d look better in male dockers. As for guys, anything flashy is wack to me. The super skinny jean craze has passed, and that’s a relief cause that was truly awful for everyone involved. I don’t even wanna be able to see a dude dickhead print in public. and , of course, any open toed shoe on a man in any urban setting is completely unacceptable.

A year from now I should be spending a couple months in Brooklyn Heights. With you being such a NYC aficionado, I’d figured I’d ask you. Do you have any experience with the area? Anything I should be sure to check out? Anything I should stay away from? Also, as clique as it is, any tips to not stick out like a sore thumb (as a non-New Yorker)? Any other parts of the city, not to far from that part, that are must-see? Sorry, I know you are looking for more weird, interesting, out-there questions but I’m curious.

I honestly haven’t been to brooklyn heights since high school. It’s a quiet and very wealthy neighborhood. Probably one of the “nicest” hoods in all of Brooklyn. I’d guess there is tons of good food there but, like I said, I haven’t been there in over 15 years. Just know it’s safe and being an out of towner won’t stick out much there. I’d imagine, at this point, it’s pretty much all wealthy professionals who have kids and have lived in NYC for less than 10 years. You’ll fit right in.
To be honest, I am not a Brooklyn aficionado on any level. I’m familiar with , like, 3 areas and that’s it. If you got Manhattan questions, I’m your guy. But Brooklyn is a place I’ll still get lost in if I get off on the wrong side of the train.

Answers for questions vol. 199

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What up? Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. The internets longer interview. This is where you guys ask me whatever the fuck you can think of and I do my best to answer it. No rules , except don’t be boring with your questions. If you’d like to ask me anything, holler at my email- phatfriendblog@gmail.com or just leave your question in the comments below. Go nuts. I always need more questions.
Here’s this week batch , for dat azz…

Question. You are obviously friends with a lot of fairly well known musicians. Has any of them ever released something that might get a little or a lot of positive buzz, and you are just like, man “I love the person and most of their music in general, but I am not feeling this shit at all. In fact I actively dislike it”. Follow up. Obviously you would never tell them their work flat out sucks(or maybe you would), but do you avoid the subject unless pressed, tell them you dig it and just not go into details, or be brutally honest from the start? No names required, I don’t expect you to call anyone out, just
wondering your thoughts in general. Any musicians you know who don’t give a fuck and will say something is trash even if it got nominated for an award or something?

Hmm…that’s tough. I have friends who make other genre’s of music (rock and electronic type stuff) that just isn’t my cup of tea in general. So, in that way, I don’t generally praise them cause it’s simply not my thing. However, when they do something that definitely jumps out as special, I certainly let them know.
As for the rappers, I can’t say I’m really close friends with anyone who I think makes shitty music. Sure, I like some projects/songs more than others but there’s rarely (none I can think of off the top) a situation where I’m like “wow, that dude just made a total piece of shit album…”.
It should also be noted that I don’t have that large a circle of close (close being the key word here) friends in the music industry.I know a lot of people but my actual real life friends are typically separate of that. So, it’s not like I have every rapper and producer I know sending me their album and begging me for an in depth critique. I’ve found, in general, most people don’t care. I know when I make a new album, i don’t send it to anyone unless they specifically ask to hear it.
Also, musicians in circles are generally supportive of each others work. Almost to a fault. It’s rare you meet someone who will tell another artist (a peer) “yeah, that sucks”. I’d say, the one person I know who flat out honest is probably Despot. He pulls no punches when it comes to his opinion on his friends music and he’ll say it to their face. I definitely respect that.

How do you feel about your birth name? Do you wish you had a more unusual name than you were given? (Judging by your comment section, ‘Tony’ seems like a pretty common name)
I’ve never really though about it. Tony is actually my middle name (short for Anthony). My first name is really James but, for some reason, no one ever called me that. My older bother has a similar situation too as his first name is John but everyone calls him Nick.
I don’t really feel either way about my name. I like that it sounds italian, even though I’m not at all italian. That always throws people off. But, I can’t say there’s a name i’d want more. People go a bit crazy with the names nowadays and I feel like it’s a lot to live up to for some of these kids. I met a dude named Elegance a few days ago. Real name! That’s a tall order. A name like that pretty much means you have to be a clothing designer or a dancer…can’t nobody wants to be working at some shitty office job and being called “Elegance” all day.

In this day and age, what do guys like, in terms of a downstairs haircut? I know it varies from man to man. but, generally? Does the average, normal, nice guy desire a landing strip? Or hairless? Or just a nice trim? or full throttle bush?

I think every guy has their preference but, personally, I like a well kept strip of hair (or just well trimmed in general) with no hair below. Basically,enough hair that makes me think I’m not hooking up with a child but also not a gorilla salad where the actual vagina is.
In general, the only one I have an issue with is the completely unkept vagina.Never trimmed, never shaved, never waxed. On a scent level, it’s worse and visually it’s not that appealing. I’ve had a few bad experiences with those types and it turned me on them forever.
But, hey, that’s just me. I know a few dudes who love that shit. I should add they’re also total creeps but they do exist.

Hello block! Im a big fan of your music, and an even bigger fan of your blog!haha.Thought id send you a question and im not sure if it goes with your usual format, but i thought id submit something dumb and different
If youre down, go to my page on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/rachael.bringgold?fref=ts
And tell me in all honesty ‘two things you l Ike iabout me’ and ‘two things you dont like about me’ after a five minute thumb through.

Wow…this is a next level idea and a very bold move on your part, young lady. I don’t now whether to give you props or think you’re crazy. But , I shall proceed…
I like
1)Your baby is cute and put him in funny outfits. Disgruntled baby face + a costume he was forced to wear = comedy gold. I don’t typically love tons of baby pics on facebook but, because you’re not actually clogging up my time line, it doesn’t bother me that much.
2)I like that “To catch a predator” is in your tv show likes.

I don’t like
1)Ear gauges. That shit’s gross. I’ve said it before but it’s basically like putting too loose buttholes in your ears.
2)In general, your updates are kinda wack. Not bad or anything…just boring. To be fair, you’re clearly a new mom and , if facebook has taught me anything, It’s that new moms are bored as fuck. It’s not like your updates are extra terrible…just kinda “meh”. If we were friends, I would probably unfollow your feed. Don’t feel bad though, I got a quick trigger with that and it’s never personal.

I’ve recently been reading a bunch about how a lot of women experience the best orgasm of their life during a rape (not fantasy, the real deal) and afterward they seek out non-consensual like sex. This has got me feeling all types of ways. One being I’ve lost a lot of respect for women. I don’t know why, I just have. If my girl got raped and started to hint she enjoyed it I’d probably have to end the relationship. You seem like a dude where sex is just sex and you wouldn’t care as long as your girl didn’t become pen-pals with the rapist. Still I feel like I can’t bring this to anyone else. Would you care if your girl had the best sex of her life with some rapist? Does this subject make you feel something weird in your stomach (or dick)?

I feel as though your info is a little off. I’m not expert on this but, from what I’ve learned/know/understand, women who get raped are pretty fucking effected by that attack. This can manifest itself in many different ways. Some might become asexual and just avoid human contact. Some compartmentalize it and can carry on with a somewhat normal sex life and some go the other direction and act out sexually and probably get into all sorts of strange shit. Rape fantasies being an example. Now, to say that’s the norm is fucking crazy. But I’m sure it happens here and there.
However, this “best orgasm during a rape” thing seems preeeeetty far fetched. When you write “A lot of women experience the best orgasm of their life during rape”, you realize how crazy that sounds, right? I know a decent amount of girls who have been sexually assaulted and none of them seem to speak of their trauma in that way. Not even close. Sure, maybe a handful of women on earth might make this claim. Lots of things are possible. I’m sure those women have had fucked up shit happen to them before that rape even happened for them to react that way to actually being raped. Like I said, I’m not an expert on anything remotely close to this topic but that would be my uneducated guess. So, I dunno if the article you read was bullshit or if you read it wrong or misunderstood key points. But something doesn’t smell right with this entire premise.

So, to answer your questions, this question doesn’t really make me feel some kinda way cause it’s so specific and devoid of concrete facts. Would this bother me if it was a girl I dated? I mean, sure. I don’t want to have to pretend rape a girl every time I have sex. But, in reality, I’ve never really found myself attracted to damaged girls like that. So, I doubt I’d ever find myself in this situation for very long.

Questions for Answers – Are you aware that you’re pretty heavily represented on the NPR music segue front? I definitely remember a Labor Days track, a Music by Cavelight track and just today a Dour Candy track all used as segment segues… What do you think that says about you, NPR, and the fact that you’re probably about as hip hop as its going to get as far as being endorsed by NPR? But, even though you’re a white guy I’ll guess that since you’re a Manhattan boy/don’t drive you probably don’t even know what NPR is?

I know what NPR is ,dude. I grew up with radios and , also, have a mom who still listens to it all the time. “All things considered” was on every morning before I went to school when I was a kid.
As for them using my music, I really have no clue why but I’m down with it. My guess would be there is simply someone working there in programming who likes my shit and fits it in when ever he can. Whoever that person is, thanks! My mom gets super hyped whenever she hears me on there.

Answers for questions vol. 198

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Sup party people in the place to be (probably a cubicle or your toilet). Welcome to this weeks edition of “Answers for questions”. you guys send me questions, I answer them. The better your questions, the better my answers. It’s so very simple. If you’d like to become part of it all, it’s simple. You can email your questions to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments section below. Everything is anonymous so no fear.
This weeks batch has a few questions i’ve probably answered in some form or another but , you know what? This is volume 198 so theres a good chance that 95% of the people reading this didn’t catch it the first time.

What is the worst and best job that you have had? (besides being an artist)

I’d like to preface all this by saying I have never had great or terrible jobs. Only decent to bad jobs. They all were low level and never were financially satisfying. I was a college drop out who truly didn’t give a shit about what kinda work I did, as long as they paid me, game me limited responsibility and it gave me time to chill with my friends when I wasn’t there.
Worst Job: I worked security guard at a place called Kim’s Video that used to be on St. Marks place. They sold movies, cd’s and vinyl. You’d think it would be fun on some level but, really, it was just me standing in one place for 8 hours a day not doing anything. I literally never caught a single person stealing (Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done if I had). Beyond that, most the people who worked with me were assholes. That’s a huge part of working a job that blows. It can be made decent by the right people. Hell, one cute girl co-worker can turn the worst job ever into something you look forward too every day. This place did not have it. Just pissy angst filled hipsters and grumpy african dudes.
Best job: I guess I gotta say the bakery I worked at , on and off, for 6 years. I worked behind a counter. I liked my co-workers, I got tons of free food, I had total freedom and I also make a ton of money under the table. On top of that, I could play any music I desired (which was a big deal at that point in my life). I even got hooked up with a few costumers. It was a menial counter job but it was pretty lax and fun.
Other jobs included: Manual labor, Teachers assistant at a school for kids with learning disabilities, record shop counter guy, bus boy and cafe worker. Not exactly an amazing resume.

I’ve seen you mention several times on this blog that you have never driven a car once in your life. Out of every state in the U.S., New York probably has the highest concentration of people that can claim this. If someone in their 30s lived in another state, and told me they have never driven a car before, I would have trouble believing them.

Do you ever feel embarrassed about this while you are outside of New York on tour? Do you try to avoid the topic with new acquaintances? When it does come up, do you feel like you have to explain and justify it to people? What is the craziest comment or reaction you have ever gotten?

I feel the opposite. I’m proud of it and I love talking about it. It’s the most arrogantly, bone headed NYC thing about me and I embrace it with open arms. As far as telling people about it goes, it’s always fun cause people are so amazed by it. I mean, it is pretty strange but I know a ton of other people just like me. We just never left New York long enough have to learn to drive. My explanation is always the same “I’m born and raised in NYC and you don’t need to drive there…ever”. Then, undoubtedly, they bring up “what would you do in an emergency” to which I reply “I’d imagine I’d figure it out or die” Either way, whatever that emergency would be, it’d probably be killing most of NYC regardless of their driving skills.
Honestly, I’ve never had someone react to it too crazy beyond “whaaaaaaat?!?!”. It’s not that big a deal, in reality.

What’s the groupie sitch for you and aes?
I’d imagine his groupie is sitch is like mine but times 1000. Meaning, they exist. I’d even venture to say his groupies would be far more obsessive and extreme than mine. After all, he’s a rapper. He uses words. That kinda thing is gonna have more of an effect on people than my wordless ass beats. But, beyond that, I can’t speculate his groupie sitch.
For me? I’ve been in a relationship for 6 plus years so there’s nothing too exciting to report. I get hit on at shows here and there. It happens. I pretty much just play dumb and try to be so nice that the girl assumes I’m a eunuch. While it hurts my soul to do that ( especially when the girl is attractive) it also keeps me out of trouble.
On the bright/dark side of all this, as I get older, i notice my fans are remaining young. So, it’s reaching a point where I’m simply too old for lots of these girls. They know it and I know it. So, that lessens the temptation on both ends. So that’s nice…and wildly depressing.

Do you think that women really talk more than men?
About what? Kinda vague question. If you mean about their feelings and emotions, then, duh. of Course. But I’m pretty sure I talk more about basketball than your average lady.
In general,I think it’s on a person to person basis. Some dudes can’t shut up. Some girls are quiet.
One thing I will say is that, in general, women desire to talk more than men. Like, I never try and talk on the phone and most dudes I know are in the same boat. Meanwhile, when I do speak on the phone, it’s undoubtedly a girl friend of mine who wants to chat. Nothing wrong with that, just something I’ve noticed. Basically, bitches be talkin’, AMIRITE?!?!?!!

You get to pick one of the following feelings to have for life, with a consequence to your choice:

1. The eternal safe and secure bliss of your parents picking you up as a child and never putting you back down, but you have the emotional temperament of a 5 year old for life. Mentally, physically, everything else is the same, but you wouldn’t be able to help blowing up when someone takes your tonka truck.
2. The constant angst and rage of teenagedom, but you get to physically stay the age where you think you’re in your prime for as long as you want.
3. The physical soreness (but not restrictions) that most seniors have, but you get to go back in time to when you were in elementary school with all the knowledge you have now and play your life out as a wunderkind and use it to your professional and romantic advantage.

You can back out of answering if you’re happier with your life now, but you would then automatically be enlisted in the US military, and when you get drafted your bunkmate is a chatty steve buschemi lookalike who talks in a falsetto. You’d definitely, but barely survive and come home after a year.

I like the face saving of the “out”. well done.
I think i’d choose #2 cause, sorry, but I was neither angsty or full of rage as a teen. In fact, I was pretty happy and all i did was hang with my best friends and jerk off all the time (not at the same time, guys). That’s about it. Even if, in this case, I am forced to be that way, we all know that hormonal stuff is kinda bullshit. Epsecially for boys. Teenaged boys are just morons. It’s not that complicated. That said, if you’re a rage filled asshole when you’re 15 , you’re probably gonna be a slightly evolved but similar version of that same person when you’re 30.
So, you see what I did there? I took you’re hard question and made it simple! I won! I feel like 5 year old being picked up by my parents, basking in secure bliss!

RAPID FIRE ROUND!
How on Earth did you produce the beat for “The Greatest PacMan Victory in History”? Seriously, how the fuck?… some information on how that song was assembled would be awesome.

I did it by not producing that beat as all. Aesop made that one. Awesome track though.
also, that video tho…

What are your thoughts on Chance the Rapper? It would seem his voice is a little hit or miss with people. His work has been refreshing though.
I think he’s very talented and capable of making good music. I don’t love his voice though and his taste in beats didn’t thrill me either. I could see him taking it to another level though so I’m certainly not writing him off.

What has been your worst experience with an animal? Dog, cat, bear, kangaroo, whatever.
I’m allergic to cats so pretty much every experience with a cat is the worst. Fuck cats.
My absolute worst experience was when I was like 12 and showering at friends house after a little league game. I came out the shower with towel around my waist and he threw his cat on my bare back. His cat freaked out and hung on my back skin with his claws for a few seconds before losing his grip. I feel as though it was that day I become allergic. Like a vampire bite.

Are you a Star Wars guy? If so, which color lightsaber would you fucks with?
Not in the slightest. I don’t give a fuuuuuuuuuck about most Sci-fi stuff. In regards to star wars specifically, I loved it as a child but i don’t think I could sit through 5 minutes of it now. In fact, for the most part, those movies are pretty shitty.

Do you have any music that you’d consider a guilty pleasure? Personally, I kinda hate myself for loving RiFF RAFF.
I don’t really feel like I have many guilty pleasures. Like , I’ve been fucking with “hott nigga” by Bobby Shmurda but is that really a guilty pleasure?

Only to hip hop purist people. Otherwise, it’s a hit. I also bump some 80’s music but I have no shame about that.

I feel as though “guilty pleasure” means something you know sucks but like anyway. I feel as though I could defend anything I actually enjoy in some way or another. Even if I liked “Since you’ve been gone” by Kelly Clarkson, I could defend it on some level. For instance “I want it that way” by the backstreet boys is a legit good pop song. Well written and catchy as fuck. I don’t bump it when I’m alone but, goddamnit,I respect it on some level.
Tell me whyyyyy!

Song of the day 9/1/14 (the Your Old Droog saga continues)

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No Message By Your Old Droog and Rast RFC

It’s fun when two rappers you like come together out of nowhere. In this case, we have Rast and Your Old Droog. Two guys I recently did “Yay or Nay” columns about. Both from NYC and both are getting some shine right now. While Rast has a very interesting story (read about it here) I’d say the man of the hour is Y.O.D.
Why? Well, it’s cause everyone thinks he’s Nas. Literally. People have a theory that this is some sort of side project and Nas is all fucking with us. On paper, this sounds ridiculous. Why would Nas do that? But, when you step back, it would seem like a lot of signs point to this being the truth. His voice sounds A LOT like him. He’s affiliated with Mass Appeal (Nas and Former Ego Trip Founder Sasha Jenkins have direct ties to Mass Appeal). He’s certainly playing into the rumors too. Or, I should say, some other people are. Someone made a fake twitter account that seemed very real and started both Posting YOD songs as well as tweeting quotes from Nas albums.
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Weird.
But, here’s the thing. He’s not Nas. At least I’m 99% sure he’s not. How do I know this? Well, I’ll start with the soft evidence. While his voice is very similar to Nas, his flow and lyrics don’t sound anything like Nas. So, just off the basis of an ear test, to me, he’s not Nas. That’s not enough though, right? Well, how about , prior to him getting a little shine he had all sorts of videos on Youtube. Actual music videos that show his face. This face:
YourOldDroog
This blew my mind the most cause, honestly, I’m totally racist when it comes to white guy rap voices and thought there was no way on earth Your Old Droog wasn’t a black dude. If the videos (which I saw before they were taken down) he’s more of an arab or a chechen. I can’t even tell. But , one thing is for sure, he’s not Nas. Still not enough evidence?
Well, how bout this article:
http://www.complex.com/music/2014/06/your-old-droog-is-not-nas

So, that’s my case. The truth will all be revealed in NYC on september 3rd when he plays a show. I might not be around for that show but I’m sure phone cameras will be there to record the happenings. If you’re curious or simply wanna see him rock (After all, the thing getting lost in all this is that he’s pretty fucking dope, despite the Nas similarities), here’s a flyer for that show. Oh, and Rast is playing that night as well. Pretty great line up.
Check it
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Answers for Questions vol. 197

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Shout out to the few people who sent me the above picture this week. It would indeed be a great replacement for my banner pic. I’mma hold on to it for now but, just know, it was appreciated.
How are you guys today? I’m well. I ate chipotle last night for some reason and woke up today legit smelling like barbacoa. Weird. Anyway, this is “Answers for Questions” You know the drill. If you want me to answer anything, send me questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Keep it interesting and weird. That’s all I ask.
Let’s get into this weeks batch…

How much skin is too much skin to show on the street?
I’d say that entirely depends on the person. I saw a dude walking down the street yesterday with V-neck so deep, it was basically just cloth suspenders. Like, literally, his belly button was almost exposed. I didn’t even know they made them like that. Now, I don’t know if that’s “Too much skin” or not, but it’s definitely a dumb ass shirt.
For ladies, it really depends on how much harassment they’re willing to put up with. You wear tiny shorts and crop top, dudes are gonna be relentless…but if that doesn’t bother you, go for it. I do think some ladies perhaps…umm…misjudge what does and does not look good on their body types sometimes in the summer but, at the same time, if they’re comfortable wearing it, that’s all that matters. Maybe some people love their 4xl muffin tops spilling over the side? Perhaps looking like a slightly opened can of instant biscuit dough is what’s hot in the streets right now? Who knows. Whatever makes you happy.That said, while it is legal for ALL PEOPLE to not wear shirts in public in NYC, that’s one things I feel people should chill with. This isn’t a beach, put a shirt on. Or at least a v-neck that pretends to be a shirt.

Help me out bro, I work near your hood (Houston and Varick St) and I need chill bars to rep, mostly for happy hour.

I can only find super fancy shit or super douchey bro spots like three sheets saloon or off the wagon. I have a very similar personality to you from what I can tell in reading your writing and listening to the Pod. Any recommendations?

To be honest, I don’t really drink on the west side. Occasionally I’ll hit The Rusty Knot on west street but that’s about it. Most places are gonna be douchey, ESPECIALLY for happy hour. Also, it depends what you’re looking for. If you just want a mellow drink, without a bunch of vertically striped shirt pricks there, I’d say just seek out local dive bars. On hudson street, there are a couple. WXOU, Art Bar and this one random bar on Hudson and Commerce that always seems empty but pleasant. If you want to be out around drunk girls with hopes of getting happy hour laid, head over the Automatic slims or Tortilla flats on washington street. They’ll be full of dipshits but also tons of hot girls who drank way too much at 5 pm.
But , if you’re looking for a chill bar with good music, etc…I can’t help you. I generally never day drink, go to happy hour or drink heavily anywhere near where I live. But that has more to do with me not really being a drinker like that. I drink maybe once a week and when I do, it’s cause I went out specifically to drink. I’m all or none with that shit.

On a scale from 0-10, how much do you enjoy popping your own zits?
I don’t enjoy that at all. I don’t get many zits (I’m an adult, you know). But when I do/did, they were brutal ones. Painful boils. Generally around my nose or on my chin. They’d be those type of zits that were under the skin, so popping them just didn’t work most of the time. I pretty much had to let them run their course , until they were finally ready to go, then I’d begrudgingly pop them. Not cause i wanted to but cause I’m that fucking impatient and wanted that thing off my face. But, rest assured, there was no joy in it.
2/10 on the enjoyment scale.

In your Answers for questions 192, there was a question about the word “Faggot” in rap and you answered it in a way that I can agree with (as in it’s not the word itself, but your perception that gives it pain).

My questions are, do you think that is always constant? Like are there any exceptional words?
The reason I ask is because I was listening to MF DOOM’s Take Me To Your Leader (A.K.A. The King Geedora album) the other day and the song “One Smart Nigger” came on. (Here’s a link for that:

Now I’ll stress that I have no problem with this song. I really like DOOM’s work, this album is one of my favorites of his side projects, and I totally agree with what the guy in the vocal sample is saying right before the beat starts. But sometimes I have a hard time letting shit go.

Generally among my friends I’m the token mixed guy, so a lot of my white friends try to let “nigga” pass and I always feel like I have to say something, but usually don’t to save face. One time one of my female friends called our mutual white friend a “nigger” with the hard R, and I was visibly shocked and sorta snapped on her for two minutes. I know she didn’t mean it with offense to me, but it was just weird.

Like there are just different times when “nigga/nigger” offend me personally. Do you see this happen a lot or am I just rambling? Have you ever been in the middle of something like this with any of your black or mixed friends?

I mean, that is the one word that will always be an issue for some people. Even a word like “faggot” doesn’t hold nearly as much weight as nigger/nigga.
As a white dude, I can’t really say when it’s right or wrong to use either version of that word. I’d argue that the “hard r” version is , in general, a bad move. But the “soft a”? That’s up to the individual. I know tons of people who use it and don’t even think about it. When a white person says “nigga” in front of them, they don’t blink , as long as the intent is okay with them. That said, the same white person drops a “hard r” and there would be problems.
I haven’t come across much beef amongst friends over that word (nigga, not nigger cause what civilized person actually says “nigger”?). Maybe it’s my age , location, etc but that word is just is either something someone doesn’t say ever or it’s so engrained in their lexicon that there isn’t even a thought otherwise.
Your situation sound a little different though cause you’re the one non-white person amongst a bunch of whites. It wouldn’t shock me if they had weird preconceived notions about race in general but, most of all, they simply might be ignorant to the power of that word. I’ve definitely been around suburban , basic white people whose understanding of when and how to use those words was bafflingly off point. As the one black guy, you’re allowed to tell them to shut the fuck up and , in general, shut them down on racial matters whenever you feel like it. Someone’s gotta tell them, right?

Hey Blockhead, I gotta TV hypothetical for you. Would you rather live as Louie in “Louie” circa ’08. Or George Costanza in “Seinfeld” circa ’94? I know this a dumb question but humor me

Hmm…My initial reaction was louie but I think I might be off with that. Thing is, Louie had kids, is kinda lonely and generally kind of a mess. While George , as big of a piece of shit as he is, lives a life of freedom and has his group of friends. He just seemed happier socially, regardless of what a lunatic he was outside of that. Not to mention, he always pulled women WAY out of his league. So, I think i gotta go with george. Not to mention, 1994>>>>2008.

what are you going to do in 5 years when hip hop is dead

I’m not so much worried about hip hop being dead (come on, son. You know hip hop will exist forever. It’s as locked in as any genre that exists right now) as I am music being dead in general. I don’t mean that in a sense that people will just be “over” music. I mean that ways to earn money doing it will all dry up eventually. At this point, the last two ways to make any real money making music are touring and song licensing. Song licensing will never die but It’s only a matter of time before some technological break through comes through that figures out a way for people to see ALL live shows for free, thus taking that last chunk of money right out of the artists hands. Streaming video feeds of live music are already pretty popular. If they figured out a way to make that seem bigger and more exciting, it’s a wrap on anyone ever leaving their house again to see a show.
The only bright side to this is that, once all the money has been taken out of music, the only people making it will be people who legitimately love making music. So, in a way, so great music might come out of that. I’ll be broke as a motherfucker though…