“Sex & The City” will be the end of us all. The least anticipated sequel of all time by anyone with a fucking brain is out and I’m sure it’s doing great. I was walking down the street the other day and overheard some girls behind me excitedly talking about how they can’t wait to see this movie. I eventually looked back and it was three 13 year old girls dressed like whores with enough make up on to kill a family of rabbits. On one hand, they’re young and don’t know better. But on the other hand, they’re a shining example of how dangerous this show is. Every screening of this film is a mini 9/11 explosion in the brains of stupid young girls. Speaking of 9/11, judging from the previews i’ve seen of this movie, these old bitches go to an arab country for vacation. OH REALLY? They’d be picking pieces of Sarah Jessica Parker hair off of butcher knives within seconds of arrival if she trounced around in those outfits at the local rug bizarre.
I realize shitting on “sex in the city” is pretty much as played out as actually watching “sex in the city” but this fucking mania going on has got to fucking stop. Much like every other guy who was seeing a girl when this shit was on, I’ve seen my fair share of this show. Obviously, I think it’s the worst. No shit…you meet a straight man who genuinely likes it, you should stop being that man’s friend. In terms of straight men, it’s as much a personality definer to me as being racist or a convicted date rapist. Sure, they say vastly different things about you but, trust me, if you like that shit, I know what’s up with you. But, with that said, I can’t say i’ve ever met a straight dude who truly likes that show…probably cause his girl won’t let him talk to his friends.
However, I do know some people that actually think that show is great. the one common characteristic of these people is that they enjoy a good penis. Yes, women and gays…duh. Now, I equate “sex in the city” with “entourage”. I’ll admit, I do watch “entourage”. I’ll also admit that it’s fucking awful but , for some reason,Ii will peep it when it on. If you’re a girl and you feel the same way about SITC, that’s fine. But if you really watch that shit and laugh and get involved in the plot and characters…kill yourself. please…seriously…kill yourself. If you really wanna see the movie cause you thinks it’s going to be a good film, Go to your roof and jump off it. If you wanna see it cause you know it’ll be corny and good in a bad way, that’s ok. kinda like how men love the movie “roadhouse”. Terrible, but great.
The thing is, i’ve met countless girls who will stand up for that show like it raised them (and in some ways i suppose it has..ughh). the most common arguments are:
“it’s how girls talk!”
No, it’s not. It’s how gay guys talk. It’s written by gay men. you can tell because it’s super catty and it gives you the douche chills every three minutes. The fact that girls even try to play it off like that’s how they talk when there are no guys around is an insult. For the record, guys don’t talk like on “entourage” either but the difference is that shit is written by some L.a. retards who probably like “sex in the city”.
“it’s a cool way to see what living in new york is like!”
Again, not even close. in fact, I’d go as far as to say, that show was the beginning of the end of new york as we know it (Perhaps that’s an a bit of hyperbole , but it’s up there with Guiliani becoming mayor). It made new york look desirable to people who should never live in new york. From the fucking crappy magnolia bakery cupcakes to the stupid 15 dollar cosmopolitans. I feel like before SITC, williamsburg was actually tolerable and the lower east side was a fun place to go on the weekends. The crazy shit about that statement is that Sex & The City doesn’t even go anywhere near those demographics. Yet, It’s influence is so deep and strong, it’s somehow had some effect on every aspect of NYC nightlife.
Obviously, humor is subjective. But let me say this, girls…you know that funny friend you have? That one homegirl who cracks you up all the time and you think she’s the funniest girl alive? She’s not funny. Maybe she’s wacky, but that’s about it. SITC is that girl. Wack jokes told wackly by wack people.
so, yeah, i don’t wanna hear it. fuck that show, fuck both movies and fuck you for supporting that bullshit.
Oh and did I mention those bitches are old as shit? dope…I bet the movie has some slamming menopause jokes!