I was watching this comedian the other day, he was about 35+, and he was talking about how great drugs have been to him. It got me thinking about drugs in general. I’ve never been a big drug guy. Partially cause I don’t have an addictive personality but also because most drugs just don’t make me feel particularly good. As I’ve gotten older, I can honestly say drugs are pretty corny. Not in the “It’ll ruin your life” kinda way (although I have seen that happen) but in the “No 30 year old looks cool snorting coke” kinda way.
Here are some little notes on drugs:

There was a time when I smoked weed on the regular. I was never the “smoke alone” type but I would buy it occasionally, get stoned, and freestyle. Yes, it was so long ago that I actually rapped.
While some people can smoke weed and do math equations, I become a stuttering retard with a heart condition. It’s simply not for me. It’s like the opposite of xanax. It’s an anxiety giving drug for me but, as i said, everyone is wired differently and one man’s paranoia is another man’s bliss. So, I’m not dissing weed itself when I say I have an issue with people who take it on as a lifestyle.
By this I don’t mean people who smoke it all the time and go on with life normally, I mean people who are obsessed with weed and weed culture. People who travel places to try different weed and say shit like “Vancouver? It’s awesome..you smoke the weed?”. People who subscribe to High Times. People who pimp their myspace pages with various pictures of bongs and weed leaves. People whose one interest is “smoking a joint”. These people are fucking corny. Weed makes 90% of the people who smoke it boring and stupid. Sure, it’s great for watching tv or listening to music…or even jerking off. However, defining your existence by weed is pretty much like wearing a sign on your face that says “Do yourself a favor and don’t talk to me”. Weed people are annoying. They’re hippies. They’re thugs. They’re hippie thugs. They’re people, who conversing with, can be mind numbing. Fuck them.
**Age Appropriateness-
No one should ever start doing drugs after the age of…I don’t know…23. If you’re 27 and have never done coke, guess what? don’t even bother. You made it that far without it and you’ve officially passed the age where it’s cool to experiment.
I’ve never done coke in my life, something about snorting things doesn’t appeal to me. But the real reason is because I’m a sensitive vagina. I had to take Ritalin in high school for a bit and the speed in Ritalin fucked me up enough for me to know I should never go near anything speed related. Coke was an easy one to pass on. Especially considering people who are on it tend to suck horribly while they’re on it.

Conversing with a Cokey person-

…Is the worst. You ever talk to someone who has no interest in talking to you? That’s a cokey person. They just kinda perch in a conversation just waiting for their time to swoop down and not shut the fuck up for 20 minutes. They don’t listen to anything. They don’t follow a conversation. They just wait their turn and talk endlessly. Not only that, but they’re brash and think everything they’re saying is super important. Even when I’m shit faced and talking to a cokey person, I still think to myself “Man, I’m drunk..but this motherfucker is annoying and tedious”.

Boning Cokey Girls-
Seeing that I don’t do coke, I actually haven’t hooked up with many cokey bitches. But, on the occasion that I have, it’s been fucking retarded. First off, anytime you’re trying to get with a coked up girl, you gotta realize, the coke comes first. Once, I literally had a girl stop, mid-sex, to go do a line in the bathroom. Coke screws up priorities if you’re fucking or about to fuck. The drug you’re doing should take a back seat. That’s like stopping sex to do a round of shots…
Note: I do know people who thrive on cokey girls though. It’s really fucked up how low a girl will go when coke is involved. Reason 32944893 why I don’t want a daughter.

I loved esctasy…the first time i did it. Everytime after that (about 5 times or so) it just got less interesting. I never did it with a special someone and honestly, I never would want to; “Having sex on ecstasy will ruin sex forever!” I imagine ecstasy sex to be reaaaaaally corny; Candles. Incense. Coldplay (or some downbeat techno bullshit). Really slow softcore movie sex. I’m sure it feels great…but fuck that gay shit. To me, ectasy was always a camaraderie drug. A drug you take and completely (and embarrassingly) bro out on, it never made me remotely horny. It’s kinda like a corny truth serum that’ll make you tell a good friend what a great guy he is. I think I stopped ever wanting to do it when I was sober and around a bunch of people on X. they looked grimy. Big vacant eyes…saying dumb shit…huddled in a little group. There was a tangible filthiness to them that just sucked all the appeal out of it for me.

Possibly the only drug I still wanna do on occasion. Of course, it would have too be a very controlled area with hand picked friends..but still, I’d do it. The thing about shrooms is that you have to be in a good place, mentally that is, to do them. You got issues? Stick to drinking. One time I was shrooming with a bunch of friends and my boy Phil (AKA phat + ill = phil, a name we discovered, not surprisingly, while shrooming) and he started bugging. I guess he had some issues at the time cause he kept needing to call his mom. Anyway, we were roaming around the Battery Park City area and Phil decided to stop in front of one police plaza and vomit violently under a huge street lamp. We were carrying a shitload of drugs and, big shocker, watching someone barf on shrooms, isn’t exactly dope. It was neither phat nor ill. With that said, I once saw a rhumba line of rollerbladers wipeout right in front of my while shrooming and i laughed for about three hours…and that’s always nice.

I bet that shit feels amazing, but so does taking a huge dump – it doesn’t rot away your body and make you a zombie. So, my advice to smack heads would be just eat tons of fibrous foods and hold in your shit till you can’t walk. Then go release the hounds. It’s like five orgasms wrapped in a backrub…and no needles involved.

Seriously…who does crack more then once (maaaaybe twice)? It’s the poster-child for drugs low life’s do. At what point does someone just submit to the fact they’re a crackhead? It’s fucking crack!

You gays and rednecks finally have something in common. How come the redneck Meth heads always look like a tornado hit their mouths but they gay meth heads just look like old ravers? They must work out.

Prescription drugs-
At this moment, it’s safe to say that this is everyones shit. not only cause they feel good but because, while they’re wildly addictive and fuck up you body just like other drugs, they’re legal. while i’ll dabble in sleeping pills the speed and opiate based prescription pills scare me. too many famous motherfuckers are dropping dead from them. in terms of famous people deaths, prescription pills are the new “choked on vomit”. i’ll just stick with advil and feeling like shit every now and then. at least my liver will appreciate it.

i’m admittedly a prude when it comes to drugs. i recall having a talk with my mom years after i graduated high school and i could swear she was telling me she wishes i had done more drugs when i was younger. perhaps it was some “gain some life experience” type point she was trying to make. it’s hard to say. i had just huffed a shitload of paint.

14 thoughts on “drugs

  1. Blockhead you speak the truth… I think no one understands how fucking stupid drugs make you look, until you see someone on the drug and think to yourself “fuck me, am I that much of a tit when on [insert drug of choice here]”

  2. all i gotta say is this…i am a person that reads high times. i dont pimp out my myspace or anything wit it. but i do enjoy it. i do enjoy smoking different kinds of weed from different places. but im not at all like wat you described. neither r the ppl i smoke with

  3. lol…. well…. i am absolutely a twit!i agree with the rundown of what was mentioned, and yet i effin love drugs… love em. i am however, in my humble opinion, a knowledgeable robot deconditioning himself steadily from egotistical and psychological snares and thus do not react to the chemicals in the same fashion the majority of the hoi polloi do. It goes w/o saying that most humans are unenlightened conditioned apes, that will continue to act as such, under most altered states of consciousness. it seems many of the people dont know how to interact with drugs harmoniously… I bet “THE” blockhead does not respond to alcohol in the veins the way the average “blockhead” does.that does suck though that being high sucks for you. I see many drugs as useful tools, yadda, yadda, everything in moderation yadda, yadda, and the ego behind a drug is more dangerous, yadda, yadda, shrooms appear to be extremely spiritual… have you gotten down on any terrence mckenna and the stoned ape theory? i know that timothy leary related some drugs to “CIRCUITS” of the brain that develop through evolution. there are eight circuits, four terrestrial and four extra-terrestrial, purportedly to be activated when man evolves out into space. drugs that affect the four lower circuits tend to be addictive and/or destructive, drugs affecting the latter four circuits tend to have transcendental effects and generally change the way a person can view the world. i know youre not interested so heres a link: DEOXY.ORG

    1-opium or herion-cellular intelligence, bio-survival passivity

    2-alcohol-Vertebrate territorial patterns and mammalian emotional politics

    3-coffee or tea, a high-protein diet, speed or cocaine.- language

    4-not known (i suspect it is mdma)-this circuit develops during puberty
    5-marijuana- when gravity is gone

    6-mescaline and psilocybin -too crazy to explain

    7-acid, high doses of psilocybin-even crazier, bye bye time shit


    there are also natural ways to trigger these circuits w/o drugs…

    in other news, i brought in new years trippin on some x with the other FUTANTS, and i had just snatched your latest album recently.. so i put THE MUSIC SCENE on some headphones, and retired to the couch for a writing session, while my friend named music danced in front of me, to other music playing . now, i get all sorts of body smiles listening to blockhead sober, but with an ocean of dopamine spewing out the synapses,drowning my suffering, i was moved to super nova caress-er. gotta say that only sequences change plus e on the brain can take more than breath away. onto the page was my inner joy reflected, all thanks to your well placed efforts.and of course, a powder keg nervous system.”the couch scene” was a pivotal moment that night.thank you for your music… some people are paying attention.

    sorry if none of this was relevant, i thought it was…

  4. You didn’t discuss acid. I guess it’s not really relevant these days. I once took acid and went to a strip mall (bad idea). Me and some friends were hanging outside at the food court when a bunch of retards (literally) came to see a movie. It was some sort of class trip or something like that. They were there with about 3 or 4 chaperones. For about an hour, they were all just standing around waiting for the movie to start. Now the acid had just started to kick in when they arrived and I thought I was tripping balls. None of us knew what to do and the intrigue wouldn’t allow us to leave. I didn’t know if these were real people who’s faces had become distorted by the acid or if they were demonic spirits or what. All of a sudden, my brother just got up and walked into the crowd of tarts. It really freaked me out. Turned out he knew one of the chaperones and he was going to talk to her. Once I figured out that they were retards, I felt kind of bad but at the same time it was funny as hell and it totally turned the trip into an enjoyable experience. We were kind of one with the retards at the time. It was mad fun. I’ll never do acid again.

    • First drug I did was acid while rockin’ golden axe on the Mega Drive, my boy tripped out and run down the street cause dragons were coming out the the speakers… Funny as fuck now, not so back then

  5. “Shrooms- Possibly the only drug I still wanna do on occasion. Of course, it would have too be a very controlled area with hand picked friends..but still, I’d do it.”

    Would one of those people be ace?

  6. I gotta admit that I smoke weed quite often, and love listening to your music while blunted, but you got some very good points. I hate people who brags about smoking weed and shit. That’s ridiculous. But when i smoke, i find myself and others more interesting when talking. We get really deep into conversations, subjects that we usually don’t even think about.

  7. “They just kinda perch in a conversation just waiting for their time to swoop down and not shut the fuck up for 20 minutes.”

    This is so funny and so fucking true. Thanks Block, now the next time some cokefeind comes chattering at me, I won’t be able to hold back the vision of them swoopin in on me lol.

  8. Thanks! I was searching for this post when a freind of mine decided to try “legal” xtc… needless to say I had to stay up with her for 12 hours(on skype, on 2 different continents) She was near seisure and completely loosing her shit… anyway, I told her about this blog… this should be posted on every sports bar bathroom wall…

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