“Rent” is the worst.


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You know when you form an opinion based on very little and stand by it like you could write a book on the subject? Sweeping generalizations and unjustified judgments. Gotta love them. If you’re like me, you do this shit all the time and don’t think twice about it. it’s pretty much what this blog , as a whole, is all about.

It’s a quick way of editing out all the bullshit that leads to an educated opinion. Honestly, I find out I’m right about 85% of the time. That’s a ‘B+’, not bad at all…But a lot of times , you being right is still arguable to someone. So it’s a sweet feeling when you find out you’re 100% right and no one can tell you shit. Case in point; The play/movie ‘Rent’.

Inexplicably , ‘Rent’ has consistently popped up in my life over the passed ten plus years. Which is very random, considering 1) No other musical really has ever gotten more then a passing grimace from me 2) I’ve never seen it 3) it’s fuckin’ “Rent” and there is no reason it would be a part of my life any more than “Cats” or “Starlight Express” (which are two things i’ve never seen and know nothing about). yes, somehow, “Rent”, snuck it’s way in.

Back when I was twenty, I was dating this girl who sang. She tried out for ‘Rent’, got like seven call backs and basically lost the roll when it came down to a choice between her and the girl that would go on to get it. At the time, I was very supportive. I didn’t know anything about ‘Rent’ except that it was a musical about tough times in some made up bohemian version of the Lower East Side. With that knowledge, I pretty much knew enough to stay away. Still, I was fully prepared to see multiple showings of it had my girl gotten the roll. Luckily for me, she didn’t.

A year or so later, I finally got my first taste at what ‘Rent’ was really about while driving somewhere with one of my sisters and a niece. They decided to play the soundtrack to ‘Rent’ in the car. I listened to about one and a half songs and made them take it off. It wasn’t like a “Enh..this is kinda wack..” reaction, it was more of a ‘Are you fucking kidding me????’ reaction. After that, I still never saw it but I would curse it whenever it came up in conversation. It became this thing that I could not only judge in itself but judge those who like it. IE: You like ‘Rent’, you’re a total fucking idiot. It’s that simple.
I put this judgmental fervor to use the last time it came up. I was walking back from a basketball game with a team I was playing with. We were in midtown and passed where ‘Rent’ was playing. While passing the sign I said something in the realm of, “Fuck this shit!” Suddenly one of the guys I played with and his girlfriend turned to me like I had just killed a baby seal. “You don’t like Rent?????!!!! You’re crazy! It’s brilliant! ” They literally refused to talk to me after that. In hindsight, this was fine because, for one, they liked ‘Rent’ and I don’t consort with those types of people and also because fuck them. The fact they loved that shit was enough for me to officially write them off forever. Again, keep in mind, I still hadn’t seen a second of it yet.

Years later, the film version of ‘Rent’ was released. My waning hatred was slightly refueled but I also didn’t really give a shit because I had no plans of ever seeing it. Until…

a few years after that…

I was chilling at my crib one day, eating while waiting for friends to come over, when I see that the movie ‘Rent’ is on cable. Oh snap! It’s a bold step to actually come face to face with something you’ve so adamantly bashed for so long (and have not seen) but I felt I had to just to prove to myself I wasn’t popping shit for no reason all these years. I watch it. I change it. I turn back and watch some more. I’m sweating. I change it. I turn back. This repeats for a while, I’m not sweating cause I’m worried that my anti-‘Rent’ stance has been wrong all these years. No, I’m sweating cause the level of complete fucking terribleness is giving me an anxiety attack. THAT SHIT IS THE WORST PIECE OF FLAMING DOG SHIT EVER MADE BY ANYONE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE PLANET. Talk about feeling an inner peace…I wanted someone to be there with me so I could look at them like “Are you watching this shit?” But no..I just sat there on my couch alone, squeezing the remote control in disgust, and looking away every so often when the songs would get just too fucking ridiculous. It’s an ill vibe to be sitting alone and blushing. My relationship with ‘Rent’ is kinda like when you meet someone and immediately hate them for no real reason…Then, down the line, their inner asshole comes out and you feel super validated by your flash judgement.

‘Rent’, you have not only validated me, but reinforced that opinion to the level of fact. It’s a fact that ‘Rent’ is the worst thing ever made. You could bring in the world’s finest debate team in and let them at me but there’s nothing anyone can say that would make me question that fact for a millisecond. I think they could hit me with a 250 page thesis on why ‘Rent’ is a success (or even merely a thesis on how rent is the second worst thing ever) and I’d win just by saying “Shut the fuck up.”

Here’s an equation that explains my point:

‘2+2’ is to ‘4’
as
‘Rent’ is to ‘Unequivocally the worst’

Fact.

I realize me disliking “Rent” is not only expected but kinda par for the course of any sane person. so, this opinion of mine isn’t exactly firing shit up. But this is about more than that. it’s about those small things that indicate so much more. something like liking “Rent” tell more about a person than an in depth interview. that one little fact speaks in volumes. There are tons of hints like this…another might be loving the movie “Party monster” or truly hating all the music of Stevie Wonder or being REALLY attracted to an olsen twin. These are small details of personal taste yet, so, so, so much more.

33 thoughts on ““Rent” is the worst.

  1. I saw that horseshit in the theater a few years ago because my Uncle gave me free tickets and I didn’t know what it was. The only good thing about it was one of the chicks from the Cosby show was in the cast. I think it was Lisa Bonet. Wonder if she’s the one who took the role from your girl?

  2. Aw man, too good. I love the experience of being in someone elses car and listening to their jams. Ya never know what to expect. Once, My buddy and I picked up these chicks and we were driving into the city for some club hoping. My bud decides to disregard the fact that these two hotties probably only listen to B. Spears and Kings of Leon, and throws on Buckethead. Awkward Guitar Magic if you’re unafamiliar.

    http://www.lala.com/#album/2306124484298150024/Buckethead/Inbred_Mountain

    Totally killed the mood. They immediately stopped their gabbing and flipped OUT! My bud told them to STFU! and we sat in silence for the remainder of the drive in listening to that shiaat. Man, some people are so controlling when it comes to their ‘musical territory’.

  3. Musicals fuckin suck. Good write up.
    I even cringe when cartoons try to get musical.
    Shits wack. Even when the Simpsons or Family Guy would try to spoof it, I can’t deal with the musicals.

  4. There’s only 1 music and that’s “The Blues Brothers” all the other get together really just make life a miserable place for anyone with isn’t half deaf….

    Why I feel you rent hate, for me personally it’s any film where Julie Andrews or Dick Van Dyke (best porn name ever!!) , god the hate they those two can inspire within me could be make in to a comic book..

  5. I might be too late to get a response from Blockhead, but – while I have absolutely no opinion of Rent – I am curious if there is any specifics you’d like to share about why it is so horrible. This is your blog, write whatever you want, but there was literally no information to what was so bad about that musical in this entry.

    • it’s hard to really even get into it. it’s so bad on so many levels that it’s overwhelming to even begin to explain it.
      first off, it’s a musical. so, that’s strike one. but it’s a BAD musical on top that.
      beyond that, it’s trite, embarrassingly corny, misinformed, and just an overall disaster.
      just watch it and let me know if i’m wrong.

      • I actually like musicals, but this was the worst. I, like the author, had heard so many things about it for over a decade but managed to never see it. I noticed that the people who loved it were not the kind of people I genuinely like. The folks who I do like who have seen it would say half-heartedly, it was “good”. I sensed they were hiding their true feelings or being polite. I formed an opinion of it for no other reason, except that when I asked someone what it was about they said it’s about a group of artist types who can’t pay their rent. “It’s very “modern”. You have to see it to understand it!” Really? I’ll pass.
        Now in 2017 while sick, I get a chance to watch the film version and I sometimes can’t even look st the screen because i’m so embarrassed for the actors. I tried turning it off and thought maybe it’ll get better. I walked away from it and thought the stage version must bring something to it that film misses. I’ll give it another chance. I thought at least the finale has to be good, stage performances always end with a bang. I can’t really judge it without seeing the whole thing. No such luck. This was terrible, trite, the characters stereotyped, the music shallow, freshman style lyrics. I have no idea who wrote this but i’ll guess some white suburban kid doing a stint in the city. I could be totally wrong but the perspective of the bohemian life seems to come from just the opposite.

  6. This completely describes my current, and I’m sure future relationship with Iron Man. Every time I tell someone I hate it they freak the fuck out, and then get super pissy when I refuse to watch it, like I willl change my opinion of that peice of horse shit.

  7. Blockhead I love your blogs and how they push my buttons. Today you’ve brought back to me the satisfying feeling of a passionate hate. I love a lot of musicals but I instinctively knew Rent was a piece of shit full of dorky characters worthy of the intense hatred I had for them. I used to go off on anyone praising it and think less of them. One day someone had some shit song playing and I was like what the hell is this you have to turn it off. “Whaaaat? It’s Rent! It’s awesome!” Die nerd.

    Anyway, thanks Blockhead for sparing me by sitting through it and officially proving I was right.

  8. I love broadway musicals. A few solid shows are ave. Q, a funny thing happend…, and les mis… just to name a few of many many.

    Rent SUCKED so bad!!!!OMG I just sat through that shit on dvd it sucked so so bad i am speechless I don’t want to waiste my time anymore so I’m done.

  9. My main problem with Rent is its lyrics. “Rent, Rent , Rent Re-ent, Rent! We’re not gonna pay Rent! ‘Cause everything… is… REEEEEEEEEEEEEENT!” 1. Those aren’t good lyrics. 2. The music is just as bad. 3. The characters are shallow. 4. It tries to be artistic, but just ends up making no sense. 5. Making someone’s dog jump out the window because you’re playing drums is the stupidest concept ever created.

  10. I find it interesting that a person who can’t use the correct form of then/than is trying to use a word like “trite” in a description. Put down the big words before you hurt yourself. RENT was and is anything but trite. If you are looking for something that could be defined as trite, reread your blog.

    • And thank you for commenting on a post that’s almost 6 years old with an awesome “grammar and spell check” angle. Truly original and completely worthwhile. The word trite has never been more suitable. I was unaware that “Trite” was a big word. Also, you’re a fan of “rent” so , as stated in the write up, your opinion on anything and everything is completely worthless to me. Good day, sir!

  11. Looking for movies to watch, I came across a musical. The mere mention of the word musical made me think of Rent. Seconds later I was enraged at how fucking awful Rent is, and even more angry that it was popular and something anyone in their right mind would even consider calling a play.

    I’ve seen black box student plays I would sit through a hundred times before sitting through the debacle called Rent.

    I was so angry with the idea of that pile of shit that someone tricked thousands of people into sitting through, I googled “the play rent is awful,” and here I am.

    I now have gone from that feeling disgust to that feeling of validation that you describe above. And now I can go on with my life. Thank you.

  12. You write “Back when I was twenty, I was dating this girl who sang. She tried out for ‘Rent’, got like seven call backs and basically lost the roll when it came down to a choice between her and the girl that would go on to get it.” To which I reply: You butter a roll, you can’t expect it to stay on the plate. Slides off. Before it can hit the floor, it’s in the dog’s mouth. Your girl didn’t get the part. The dog got the roll. Everybody won.

  13. Im still a little lost on how you could think that this movie was so often yet you didn’t even watch the full movie…like you said you were flipping back and forth…to each his own i guess

  14. “My relationship with ‘Rent’ is kinda like when you meet someone and immediately hate them for no real reason…Then, down the line, their inner asshole comes out and you feel super validated by your flash judgement.”

    LMAOOOO

  15. So you didn’t really explain why you didn’t like it. Just a bunch of ramblings and swear words and “OMG DIS SUCKS”.

  16. I just saw this shit with my mother. Less cultured than you, so didn’t know what to expect. We left at intermission. Fuck that shit.

  17. I love you. I said all the same things to my husband that “adores” this movie tonight while I cringed watching it to me, he was singing along in my ear for fucksake. I literally googled “rent fucking sucks” and found your blog and I feel so validated now. Thank you.

  18. Watching the “live” Rent that isn’t really live, and I laugh at the post above because I googled “rent actually sucks” lol. Yes it does, son. Yes it does.

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