I remember a time before the internet, it feels like a lifetime ago but it definitely existed. I also remember a time before cell phones when people all had land lines and pagers. If you were lucky, you had your own phone line in your bedroom. For me, that time was high school and college (err..the one year of college I actually did and the 3 years after that).
When I think back to those days, I don’t get nostalgic about a simpler time, I don’t wish things were back to the way they were. Truth be told, the internet is the best thing ever while, at the same time, the worst thing ever. I won’t get into the evils of the world wide web but it’s no secret the internet has ruined all things great from music to fucking.
Whatever…it’s still the best thing ever.
I’ve never been the addictive type but the one thing I can honestly admit to is that if I’m not on the internet for 2 days, I’m very likely gonna bug out. Simple shit like checking my email and even facebook – GOD FORBID it’s fantasy basketball season – even if there’s absolutely nothing going on, I NEED TO KNOW.
Cell phones are a different story. I held off on those for a long time. “I don’t wanna be that easily found” was my line and, truthfully, I didn’t. I was already in the habit of screening every call I got cause I didn’t have caller ID (Oh..the days before caller ID…pranking heaven). I figured, there are so many people I know that I avoid on a regular basis, why would I want to give them a homing device.
Eventually, I broke down and got one…and if I were to lose it now, I doubt I’d ever speak to anyone again. Sad but true. These modern conveniences have become necessities to the point where I’ve seen people weep over a lost cell phone. Shit is real. But what I really wanna get into is how both the internet and cell phones have changed us. Means of communication are completely different now than they were in high school (for me at least). Texting, emails, Myspace/Facebook, people don’t need to talk anymore and I kinda love it.
But where does this all bring us?
Glad you asked. It brings me to a place of regret and anger at the bad timing of my life. I want to go back to being 16 now; On some George Burns 18 again shit. In high school, I wasn’t a weird outcast or anything, I was, however, a total pussy with girls – face to face interactions were never my bag. If I had had myspace/facebook and texting at my disposal? Jesus…I would have had full blown AIDS by the time I was 19.
Being able to craft your statements to girls you like, as opposed to clumsily talking to them, is such an unfair advantage kids today have, it’s infuriating. The amount of pussy these shitty music liking, skinny jean wearing little dorks are getting, just cause they happened do be born at the right time, is disgusting. Not to sound like an old man on a porch yelling at kids in his yard, but in my day, you had to actually talk to a chick. In person, on the phone, cultivating pussy was no easy task…at least for me. Now all you gotta do is leave a cute flirty comment on some girl’s facebook page and text her “R U going to b @ Kevin’s party?” and jump on her drunk ass when you see her at the party. The groundwork laying is so fucking easy, I’m amazed there are any virgins on the planet older then 16.
Obviously, there are other advantages like texting in class, whether it be cheating on tests or just passing the time. It’s the new passing notes: No one needs to pass notes anymore as the notes of 2009 are sent from space by waves and satellites (or some shit like that).
What about the internet basically making libraries useless? I remember a time when I’d have to actually walk to the library, and photo copy pages of the encyclopedia JUST so I could plagiarize it for whatever history paper I happened to be writing. Now you can just google shit or go on wikipedia and there ya go…
I think what gets me the most is that I feel today’s youth doesn’t know how good they have it. They can’t even imagine a world without these things. I can, cause I’ve lived in that world. While that world was a simpler (and more creative) place, I can honestly say I would never be able to go back. And if you’re my age and believe that you could, you’re either lying or should be living in the woods, under a bearskin teepee, clacking rocks together to create a spark and ignite some damp leaves in order to cook whatever dead rodent you happened to find – while taking a dump between some bushes.
No, as bitter as I may be about my life’s “timing”, I think I’m equally grateful. Now, if motherfuckers would just stop illegally downloading my new albums, then we’d really have something special.