I don’t know why but i’m feeling preachy…nothing worse then an uneducated guy feeling preachy.
Here’s a common picture:
Two kids who’ve been dating since high school and , at age 20, feel they are gonna be together forever. These are two people who may have been the shit at their rural/suburban high school or considered cutting edge at their small liberal arts colleges. The guy is a decent looking dude. Kinda smart, a little funny. The girl is wide eyed , really hot but doesn’t fully know it and was the best dressed girl in her class. So, they get the idea to move to the big city (i’m envisioning nyc, but i suppose it could be any major city) and give it a go. Here’s what happens: for the first few months shit is sweet. They are together in this city , discovering it and loving the freedom like they never had it before. As the months pass, they make friends, get jobs, go to school…you know, doing whatever it is they are there to do. Here’s where it goes down. the hot girl, who is madly in love with her boyfriend, gets exposed to many new things. One of those things is new men. Good looking men, powerful men, cool men. She slowly begins to realize “hmm…i’m really hot…” she also begins to realize that her man is kinda lame. He’s not as witty, confidant, or established as these new guys she’s meeting. He also most likely wears flip flops when it’s hot out. It’s not helped by her new city friends being in her ear all the time about this guy and that guy and wanting to go party all the time. Her true market value has been realized. Her boyfriend, on the other hand, is in a very different boat. All of a sudden, he goes from his high schools quarterback to the dude with the wackest sneakers in the bar. Sure, he is able to do ok with the women but he too is realizing his market value..and in the real world, it’s a lot less than he thought it was. For him, that is the beginning of the death of his youthful idealism. Eventually, his girlfriend ends up drunkly making out with someone and inevitably they break up. After that, all of the male population of manhattan and brooklyn basically tries to have a go at her. She very likely gets herpes. The guy, is most likely a miserable mess for a while but , in the end, i imagine they both end up in similar places (albiet seperate places).
This kinda shit happens ALL the time. Whether it be when people go to college, move to a city or on the “real world”…the realization of one’s worth (as viewed by others) is some real deal shit. For some people, it’s the first taste of reality.
The same way two high school sweethearts think they have a love that will last forever is the same way a go getter college student thinks they can make an huge impact on the world. It’s cause they haven’t been exposed to the reality of life. Life is good. Life is fun. but it’s also a lot of bullshit and full of things that are so far out of your hands, it’s not even worth thinking about. This isn’t to say people can’t make a difference…of course they can…but no one is saving the world anytime soon. You work with junkies? good for you. You’ve saved a few lives and that’s more then most can say they’ve done. But for every person who does that kinda stuff, there are a million people who thought they’d make a difference in the world until they didn’t and the fact is, they didn’t even try.
I feel like by age 25 a person should have some kind of grasp on what they can and cannot achieve. Whether you are a person that truly helps people, a politician, a struggling musician, or a person that works in a cubicle. There’s nothing more unsettling to me then meeting a 50 year old idealist. They tend to have a bunch cats, be single and look like shit. You’d think, of all the people in the world, they’d be the one’s who would look in the mirror and be like “goddamn…shit is fuuuuuuucked up.”. To be like that one must go through life with their fingers in their ears while singing to themselves. OR what about a 40 year old musician who’s still trying to make it. unless you’re in the Traveling Wilbury’s, it’s just not gonna happen.
While this may sound like a pessimistic rant, i think of it more as realistic. people are capable of doing alot of things. The person who will eventually cure cancer and aids…that person is gonna make a difference. A dude holding a sign at an anti war rally? not so much.
It’s easy to say something needs to be done, but to act on it is a whole other level. This is why i choose to not do shit about anything. It cuts a huge amount of stress out of my life to not have to worry about any of that shit that is out of my control. The war? It sucks but i can’t do anything about it. An old woman needs help crossing the street? No problem. Dealing with a crazy person? Nothing i can say will fix that person. Fixing something i fucked up? I’m all over it. It’s as arbitrary as guessing who’s gonna win a baseball game. I’d rather be selfish and stable then giving and oblivious. the percentages are way better that way.