You learn something new everyday

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You know how throughout life, you kinda collect acquaintances? People you’re cool with but you never really extend your friendship beyond small talk and random activities?…Ok..So, you know how, when you’re hanging out with one of those people and all of sudden they release a little more info then you were expecting? All of sudden, your relationship changes…

While you’re still acquaintances, you now have a totally different view of this person. I’m sure I’ve been this person to some people, we probably all have. But sometimes, the script is flipped to such a level that you can’t believe you ever thought of this person any other way.

This past summer I was playing basketball at the park I’ve been balling at since I was 12. The team I was on just lost, so I was sitting off to the side with a few guys, most of whom I’ve been playing with on and off randomly over the past 20 years, we know each other’s names and are friendly. We’ve seen each other every summer for as long as I can remember. We don’t exactly know what it is one another does for a living or in our free time, but it’s kinda better that way. They’re all nice enough guys, it’s really a non-issue.

So, this one guy, out of nowhere, started telling me and this other guy about his worldly travels. In my head I was like “Oh, he’s a traveler…I didn’t know that…” He started talking about the the many places he’s been, as any well travelled person might, when, all of a sudden, he turned an unexpected corner….

He began to go into great detail of his travels to different asian countries that he takes every year, where he would go and fuck mass amounts of asian whores. As it turned out, this was his sole reason for going. The prospect of asian hookers was the thing that drove him to buy tickets and fly halfway around the world. Now, traveling is not particularly my thing but to each his own, whores are not my thing at all, BUT I do like a good travel story addled with whores. I was all ears.

He said he had Polaroid’s of all the whores he’d ever slept with, HUNDREDS OF THEM. While this was kinda horrifying, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t impressive. Insane, but impressive. They were stored on his computer in a file called something like “Tax files 05” so his live-in girlfriend wouldn’t happen upon his holy grail of asian streetwalkers. After that admission, he decided intimate details were in order. He went into various stories of fucking and sucking in which I see no point in repeating but I will say this; He definitely is a fan of small asian women licking his asshole, especially when there is hot tea and iced towels involved.

Did I mention he’s a 40 year old, bald, greek guy with a Fred Flintstone body and creepy eyes? Oh yeah, he’s all that.

Anyway, he finished his story proudly and I was kinda speechless. Ten minutes ago, this guy was Pat , the nice guy from the courts, who may or may not be a lawyer. Now, he’s Pat, the creepy asian whoremonger. Trying not to seem to taken back, I responded with something like, “Damn, no shit? I don’t really go that hooker route.” He looked at me and said, “Bullshit…” as if the concept of a man who doesn’t enjoy paying women for sex is ludicrous. He had turned the tables and, all of a sudden, I was the non-prostitute-fucking freak.

Well played whoremonger Pat.

I replied, “Well, I haven’t really ever needed to…I can always jerk off and that’s for free…” to this he rolled his eyes as if I had just told him I still believe in santa. I said, “Well, the thing is, aside from not wanting to pay a stranger to sleep with me, I don’t really wanna have sex with someone who doesn’t wanna be there.” (Call me crazy but it’s just how I roll!) In a dismissive tone he retorted “Yeah, I kinda see that and it used to bother me but nowadays it’s what turns me on….”

Woah. Point made. Personality defined.
Game. Set. Match.

He then proceeded to leer over at a 15 year old girl who was shooting around on one of the hoops (she was admittedly kinda hot, but come on, she was at most 17) and said, “Man, that’s what I’m talking bout.” It was really a realization overload for me. I’m not an easily offended person, in fact, I wasn’t so much offended as I was grossed out.

As Pat got up and went to go shoot around, I turned to the other guy who was listening and said “Jesus, I had no idea Pat was like that! Wow…” The guy looked back at me and says “Really? They don’t call him Dirty Pat for nothing.”

Indeed…they certainly don’t.

Well, lesson learned…don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
Unless it’s covered in sperm, in which case, it’s a filthy fucking book and you shouldn’t even pick it up.

Things that are wrong in the world PT. 3

Do record label A&R’s exists anymore? If so, do they sit in boardrooms , brainstorming how they can make the worst possible music ever? Or perhaps focus groups do that? Maybe there’s even like a like mathematical formula they feed into some sort of data base that shits out this kind of thing and all they do is add water? who knows…All i know is this shit makes me wanna jump off a cliff while stabbing my dickhole with a dull screwdriver.
Skip ahead to 2:12 to witness the realness

Throwaway files Part 3

trash

Here is part three of the never ending series. Just to refresh your memory, these are a collection of beats i made between 94-2002ish. Most of them are either not saved , too old to use or simply not that good. But , they are an interesting look into the past that I figure a few of you msuic nerds will appreciate. I do it for you!!!!!

Here goes:
Throwaway files part 3
http://www.mediafire.com/?tzwmzz2nztm

EDIT: So mediafire seems to be shut down right now. this sucks cause pretty much all the links i have of mixes on this whole blog are on mediafire. hopefully, this will be resolved so i don’t have to re-up every link i’ve ever done.
anyway, here’s a new link for this particular file:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/z5j4p0