Chicken strip By Slim Thug
I randomly downloaded this song off of Limewire like 5 years ago or something. I noticed it wasn’t on Slim Thug’s debut and , if it was released, I never saw it anywhere. Obviously, I’m not crazily informed on all the music released by Slim Thug so i could be completely wrong. All I know is it’s a dope Neptunes beat from their best era and it it woulda made a good clubby joint about 5 years ago.
When I was in my late teens, I had a conversation with a “former lesbian” who had just started hooking up with guys. Keep in mind, she was also a late teen so I’m gonna assume her lesbianism was as legit three card monty played on a cardboard box. Anyway, when explaining her new found interest in men she mentioned that she loved giving head. This, in itself, it totally fine. I know plenty of girls who love to give head (and may i say, they are all great people) but her reasoning was unlike anything i had ever heard.. she hit me with a sort of feminist angle. she said
“I like giving head cause it’s like you have the guys brain in your mouth…you’re in control and they’re putty in your hands (err..mouth)”
Hmm..ok. Even at that young and inexperienced age, I kinda smelled bullshit. Years (and many blow jobs) later, I can emphatically, say, that is bullshit. Sure, she may have FELT like she had a guys brain in her mouth, but the reality of it was, it wasn’t his brain at all. It was , in fact, his boner.. if there is one part of a guys body that doesn’t think, it is the dick. When a girl is giving head she can do a few things. Take control and own the situation or get her face fucked. I’m assuming this girl did the first one cause anyone who’s ever either fucked a face or seen it done in porn knows that’s about as far from feminism as it gets. Regardless of her technique, the bottom line is that she had a dick in her mouth. She was unselfishly pleasing a man with no reciprocal pleasure for herself except the whole “brain in my mouth” thing. I’m not saying intelligent , strong minded women don’t blow guys. Far from it. But i think intelligent strong minded women are aware that they’re not exactly burning a bra when some guy blows a load down their throat. It’s a sexual act , much like going down on a girl or fingering (not so much hand jobs cause those are a joke), that is done to satisfy the other partner. It’s selfless and great. If you love doing it, keep doing it. Just don’t feed me some feminist bullshit about how it’s empowering when it’s simply just a nice thing to do for someone you like. If you actually enjoy the act, consider that a bonus. (for the record, guys can tell when you like doing it. you know how? If you’re good at it, chances are, you kinda like doing it. enthusiasm is everything)
all that brings me to this: katy perry.
We all know her by now. She’s the big titted, kinda cute/kinda down syndrome-y pop star who broke out into the music world with her hit song “i kissed a girl”
Not to be confused with Jill Sobule’s one hit wonder by the same name, katy perry’s song is a nod to sexual freedom and , you know, just doing you. blah fuckin blah blah. In the song, she basically explains how she made out with some girl (and liked it). Unlike Jill Sobule’s song, she’s not at all hinting that she’s confused about her sexuality. Sobule was pretty much talking about being a lesbian. Perry is more just saying “i kissed a girl, were you watching?”. She’s definitively straight but , believe it or not, she kissed a girl!!!! get out of town,bitch! it’s some serious girls gone wild shit wrapped in a tight little hipsterish package. The thing is, the whole “non lesbian girls making out” thing is pretty corny. If you’re a dude and you see two drunk girls make out in public and you actually give a shit, i might suggest looking into porn or even trying to get some ass for yourself. It’s way cooler when it is in fact YOU kissing that girl. watching two girls kiss, to me, is pretty whatever. Obviously , it’s not going to ruin my day but who gives a shit? it’s kissing. but then again, i don’t really even give a shit about lesbian porn. it’s boring.
The irony of misguided empowerment is pretty awesome. in this case, it’s a girl taking something that is actually the opposite of empowering (kissing a girl for show) and acting like she’s the rosa parks of pussy. unfortunately, she is no rosa parks. she’s not even Rose Mcgowen. at least that bitch killed mad rapists in “planet terror”. That’s some empowering shit! kissing another girl? Not so much. If you really wanna go there, eat pussy. get messy. that’s a bold statement. trust me, “I ate a twat (and i liked it)” would hit way harder. Unfortunately, that’s not Katy Perry’s thing. I’m guessing she’s more into kissing girls to meet guys then giving bad blow jobs to them while they secretly resent her.
More recently, another kind of false empowerment anthem has come out. This one is by cum dumpster extraordinaire Ke$ha. I don’t know know much about her except this video:
and a recent truly embarrassing performance on Saturday Night Live where she dressed up like Avatar Lady Gaga and sang a song about being a drunk whore.
Unlike Perry, who’s actually somewhat likable whenever i’ve seen her in interviews, Ke$ha comes across like a run down whore in training. Her whole image seems to be “I get drunk and hook up with whatever! I do me 24/7 and it’s fine cause i’m in charge”. Now, perhaps i’m reading waaaaaaay to far into her lyrics and persona but that’s what jumped out at me when i heard this song. Maybe she’s on some Cyndi Lauper shit and she just wants to have fun? Except, I think Lauper’s fun was more having beer with Captain Lou Albano is some random brooklyn neighborhood. I would imagine Ke$ha is more the type to wake up in Simon Rex’s backyard covered in used condoms and broken glass. Apples and oranges, i suppose.
I know this may sound like the rants of an old prudish woman or an over protective mother but this is not the kinda message we want to give our kids. No, scratch that. This is not the kinda message we want to give ANYONE. I’m all for drunk sluts. I’m glad they exist. But , much like Mcdonalds or drugs. I really don’t think it’s the kinda thing that needs to be promoted. It will always exist regardless. Let nature take care of the on going breeding of a healthy slut culture. Trust me, there are dads abandoning their infant daughters as i write this , just planting seeds for the sluts of the future. Putting this shit on a large scale to be seen by all is not only overkill, but it’s dangerous. Releasing this kinda shit to the public under the guise that it’s cool behavior is pretty much telling your well adjusted 13 year old daughter it’s ok to act like this dishrag, dime bag , slut bucket.
I suppose i’ll just add it to the list.
Reason #8,493,502,195,921 why i don’t want a daughter
Why i’m destined to have a daughter.
Four Walls By Eddie Holman
This one is a request that i could have sworn i already had uploaded , but it turns out I didn’t.
Possibly one of my all time favorite songs. So much so, I covered it on my last album. So, here’s that, as well.
What better way to overcome centuries of racial issues than an awesome furniture store. They even serve asians and A-rabs.
So, another season of my favorite obsession , Fantasy basketball, has come to a close. I won in a league full of strangers and lost in a league full competitive friends evening out to a frustrating year I’d rather forget*.
what’s that? you don’t give a shit? you don’t even like sports?
well, eat shit , nerd , and read this article I just wrote for Imposemagazine.com. Perhaps it’ll shed some light.
*I’d like to take a moment to personally and publicly send a “FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU!” to the Sacramento Kings point guard Beno Udrih. Because of that asshole going 0-6 in three pointers on a particular sunday a few weeks ago, I missed the playoffs for the first time ever in all the years of my playing fantasy sports. Eat shit Udrih.
Contra By Danny Brown
File this under: New rappers I actually like.
Danny brown is a rapper from Detroit. I only heard him recently and , thus far, I’m liking most of what i’ve heard. He reminds me of a Midwest version of Young Zee . I’ve only peeped one of his mixtapes, but I highly recommend seeking his stuff out.
as a bonus, here’s a video he made.
The first line of this song may very well be the best first line to set a song off EVER:
Another week, another installment. This one is a nice (and totally random) mix of some pretty well known Posse cuts , as well as a few lesser known ones. A little something for everyone, if you will.
1)Foundation: Big Jaz Featuring Jay-z and Sauce Money
2)Leave now:: King Just Featuring Profes, Star and Mega-don
3)7 DeeJays: Boogie Down Productions featuring D-nice, Heather B, Harmony, Ms. Melodie, Jamalski, and one other guy who’s name i forget
4)The Symphony Part 2: Master Ace, Kool G rap, Craig G, Lil’ daddy Shane, And Big Daddy Kane
5)Drive Slow: Kanye West Feat. Pau Wall and GLC
6)Erase Racism: Kool G rap & DJ Polo Featuring Big Daddy Kane and Biz Markie
7)YabbaDabbaDoo: Chubb Rock Featuring Red Hot Lover Tone and Rob Swinga
8)Dynamic: Pumpkinhead feat.Bad Seed, CES, DCQ, Meat Pie, Ocean, Pokaface, What!What1 AKA Jean Grea.
9)The grand finale: D.O.C Featuring NWA
10)Cowboys: The Fugees Featuring Young Zee, Pace won, John Forte and Rah Digga
Zoloft By Ween
Today is the day you pay your taxes. I figure this song might be fitting.
One of the most common questions musicians (and all artists , really) get asked is “what are your influences?”. I’d say i’ve gotten this question in at least 75% of the interviews i’ve ever done. When i first started getting the question, i would scramble to think of the people I based my sound on. This scrambling would lead to me pretty much just prattling off a list of other producers I like, regardless of their actual influence on my music. Eventually, that got tiresome and I just decided to go with answer option B whenever that question would be posed. That answer is “I don’t believe in influences.”. Now, let’s not be confused here. EVERYTHING is the result of influence on some level. But having direct influences, that you draw from others, into your own art, to me, has always been pretty corny. Back in the day, what are considered “influences” by today’s standards , would be called “Biting”. I’m more of the belief that real influence is not palpable. It’s nothing you could list or explain. It’s kinda like explaining to a person why your personality is the way it is. For instance, If you were to do that by saying something like:
“well, I’m funny like my friend bill, but i get my timeliness from this girl i used to date and my love of spicy foods can be traced back to my friend paul”
people would laugh in your stupid face and tell you that you’re a loser herb. So, when ever i hear an artist do that with their music, it just rubs me the wrong way. It’s one of those things that sets off my “Bullshit-o-meter” that seems to be go off more often than not when hearing artists talk about themselves and their work. That’s the thing though, artists use their own “influences” an an easy pass for other to understand their music. I get that. people nowadays need to be pointed in a direction before they’re willing to even waste a second of their precious time. But i fear the vast majority of these artists really do believe their own bullshit hype. The best is when someone completely mediocre like 3rd eye blind lets you know they’re influenced by Bob Dylan and Tom Waits. OF COURSE THEY ARE!
I will say this though, there are people who list influences who are spot on. Britney Spears saying she’s influenced by Madonna is a no brainer. Partially cause they’re both talentless whores who made careers without being good at anything in particular , but more so cause it’s 100% fact that Spears not only bit Madonna’s musical angle, she’s managed followed her career blueprint to a tee. Turns out madonna is a little smarter than Britney. Babies + getting fat + more babies = career suicide. Perhaps she’s also influenced by Kirstie Alley as well (but with non-adopted children).
In reality, to me at least, artists are influenced by their surroundings. Their parents upbringing style. Where they grew up. Experiences. Era’s of music they listened to , as opposed to specific artists. I can definitively say that the music i make and have made is 100% a result of hip hop I listened to from 1989-98. Without question. But there’s certainly no one or two artists I could single it down to. It was simply my formative years as music fan. No more ,no less.
I’ve noticed it always annoys interviewers and writers to give vague answers like that cause they want the easy connection. Nothing gets music critics and writers dicks harder than the easy comparison.
When I first came out as a solo artist all I heard was that I sounded like DJ shadow. Shadow was dope ,so this didn’t bother me. But the assumption that I sat in a room studying his work to find inspiration was preposterous. Truth be told, I’ve heard “Entroducing” maybe 4 times in my whole life. Good album, nothing against it all all. I just always preferred listening to stuff with vocalists on it. The few times I’ve said this in interviews, the interviewer has been flabbergasted. As if, it’s absolutely impossible for a person to make the type of music I do without being influenced by Shadow.
Then there are those artists that are so influential, they’re not even worth bringing up any more. Rakim influenced a whole school or rappers. Stevie wonder Influenced a whole school of soul singers. The Beatles influenced rock bands of all genre’s. But acts like those are truly influential cause they changed the landscape of music as it was known. That kind of influence is almost subconscious to most and it spans far and wide. Listing any groups like that in your influences is like saying your favorite food is “all things bread like”.
Often times, I’ll make something , play it back later , and think “huh, that sounds like a _____ beat”. That kinda shit is gonna happen. Remember, now more than ever, there is nothing new under the sun. But People have to learn how to differentiate between “being influenced” and “biting someone”. Influence is that silent thing that makes you do what you do. it pulls the levers without you even being aware of it. Biting is just some sucker shit people do when they run out of ideas. It’s people forcing influence upon themselves.
The difference between the two is of Paramount importance. learn it. live it. Don’t bite it.
Ghetto instincts By Da King & I
Ahh…the good old days of a simple filtered baseline, a classic break slightly altered and some sort of wind instrument that comes in during the hooks while an mc just brags about whatever. What a great time for hip hop. Da King & I was one of those east coast groups that seemingly came and went but their album “Contemporary Jeep Music” remains an obscure gem to most people who’ve come across it over the years.