On some Seinfeld shit…


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Warning: Extremely hacky material ahead. I’ve just been in a pointless inquisitive mood lately and these completely stupid thoughts popped into my head.
In the words of the gawd Jerry,

DIDJA EVER NOTICE?
When two people of the same sex and same accent whisper, they always sound the same. whispering eliminates all vocal differences. It is the great equilizer for people with shitty voices. Perhaps 99% of white rappers should just whisper instead of speak. The “white voice curve” would be obliterated.
On a side note whispering “should i get a condom?” may be the unsexiest thing anyone could ever say while, at the same time, whispering it is pretty much the only way you can say that phrase. I guarantee that if you’re screaming that you’re either not getting laid or you’re a super health conscious rapist.

WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH…
All guys that work at delis or corner stores calling your “boss”. Like “hey boss, what can i do for you”. It transcends race. like an italian guy will do it (no shit) but then so will the arab guy…even a mexican. Do foreigners who come here learn that? In english as second language classes are there whole lessons on greeting people like “you can say ‘sir’ or ‘mister’ but if you wanna fit in like a real american we reccomend ‘boss’ or ‘chief’ as the ideal greeeting.” They must do that cause it makes no sense otherwise. unless of course they all learned english first hand from asshole cops, in which case, it makes perfect sense.

Speaking of cops…have you ever noticed that most cops are dicks? Of course you have. But , isn’t it wierd when you meet someone who’s a dick and it turns out they also just happen to be a cop? At the park i play ball at there’s this guy who plays there. He’s a decent enough guy i guess but something always kinda struck me kinda funny about him. His vibe was very dickish and self entitled. Turns out he’s a cop.
Or ,even worse, this guy I knew growing up who was already a dick in that same way just happen to become a cop. Coincidence? I doubt it. I’d like to think people become cops cause they want to serve and protect but unfortunately,that doesn’t exactly seem like the main draw for the job. I’m sure it’s a “perk” but “free reign of being a dick” is a way more likely job attraction.

So..uhh…yeah.
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1 thought on “On some Seinfeld shit…

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