Song of the day 5/25/10

Hold The Floor By Camu Tao

Today is the second anniversary of Camu tao’s passing. In his honor, here’s one of my favorite songs of his. RIP mu.

Also, Peep this:
Turns out , Camu’s long awaited solo album will be dropping on August 17th! This is great news.

WonderShowzen Appreciation

For 2 seasons, MTV2 quietly snuck on some of the most irreverent comedy ever seen on basic cable. The show was called “Wondershowzen” and it was a highly offensive and twisted version of Seseme street. Truly the last thing you’d want to show any child. I totally forgot this show existed until the other day when I was reminded of a clip. It bought back all the fond memories of this show (and reminded me I gotta remember who I lent the season 1 and 2 DVD’s to…)
So, in honor of this glorious show, here are a bunch of clips:

A little of this and a little of that

Something about the emergence of summer gets me more scattered then usual, hence this…yet another bunch of random shit…

European Guys Have It Good –

Every time I’m walking around NYC and see a super hot girl with a complete retard, I assume that couple is European. I’d say nine out of ten times I’m right, euro guys have no idea how good they have it. Obviously , not all euro guys are like this but the ones I’m referring to are the fanny-pack-toting, small-shorts-wearing, smelly little dorks. Here they are, prancing around the city hand in hand with some Gisele look alike as if it’s totally ok. I actually think it’s more a French thing then an ‘all of europe’ thing because whenever I’ve been in Montreal I’ve noticed the same thing.

Speaking of Montreal…what’s with the black wool socks , sandals and shorts? Just wondering.

You And Your Fucking Alter Ego –

Whenever people start saying things like, ‘My name is Todd but when I get drunk I become ‘The Dragon’!”, it’s pretty much guaranteed that person thinks a lot of themself. Usually, they’re the type of people who are on The Real World or rappers (rappers looooooooooove alter ego’s).
How ’bout this? Shut the fuck up with your alter egos. How bout, “My name is Todd but when I’m drunk I become a total fucking shitface.” That works way better for me.

As for the rappers, that shit is just comical. T.I. has his T.I.P., Jay-Z has his Jigga, Hova and a list of several others. Eminem has about 4 of them too…it’s bullshit. That’s like me saying; “Well, if I’m chilling, I’m Tony but when I’m writing blogs I’m ‘The Madman’ and when I’m taking a shit I’m ‘The Thinker’ and when I smoke weed I’m ‘Anxieteria’….”

Alter egos are basically just an ego maniac’s way of thinking that, because they have different moods or modes in life, that they’re fucking special. Basically, they’re so full of themselves they need more than one ego. Leave that to people who really need more than one, like schizophrenic people.

Heat Is Rugged –

Last summer in NYC was relatively mild; Lots of rain and some fair days. This summer has just begun to peek it’s head around the corner and is shaping up to be just as wacky as ever. regardless of those random 50 degree days we will probably have in July, the heat is no doubt coming and I think it’s wise to mentally prepare yourself. Prepare for things like walking 5 blocks and having a full sweat bib on your t-shirt. I’m talking about some serious old person death weather.
Here are some things that particularly suck in that kinda heat:

1.)Dog Shit
2.)Indian Food
4.)Homeless People (not them personally but walking by one is like sticking your head inside a rotting corpse’s stomach).
5.)Being a person that sweats a lot. (Changing shirts 3 times a day makes for lots of laundry)
6)Having the roggles…the heat is just not conducive to gross farts from hangovers. It’s like an amplifier for scents and one of those gross sunday afternoon whiskey farts will follow you around like a tail.

Who are these people? –

I was walking through the meat market (formerly the trans-sexual/scumbag epicenter of downtown Manhattan which is now where all the boutiques and clubs are) last weekend. While I appreciate what it’s doing for my property value, what the fuck is going on there? The clubs? I don’t get it. Well, I kinda do. Girls like to dress up, go out and dance so, bam, that’s why they’re there. Guys like to fuck girls, bam..that’s why they’re there…but I can’t help but wonder, ‘How did it get so bad?’

It’s really a testament to most of what’s going on in America. From movies to music to food…at some point, the people in charge of all that shit just kinda decided that we, as Americans, don’t give a fuck. Sadly, they’re pretty on point; For the most part, if we are told that something is good, we’ll gladly just nod and go along with it. So, when people hear about these meat market clubs and see other people loving them, why would they not just nod and go along?

I’m sure these clubs are nice, decorations and design and all that crap but at what point is someone like;

‘Ok, I wanna go to club and wait outside for a bouncer who might not let me in because of how I’m dressed or because of who I’m with or because I’m ugly. Then, if I get in, I wanna spend 10 bucks on a bud light or 15 bucks for a weak mixed drink while I dance to the same bullshit I hear on the radio all fucking day that I only like because it’s played relentlessly. I also wanna be crammed so tightly into a space with a group of douche bags, that going to the bathroom becomes an epic quest.’

Maybe it’s just me, I’ve never had that thirst for ‘the finer things in life’ because, in reality, none of that shit exists inside of a club. The whole mindset of that high post existence is something that should have died in most people around 11th grade.

And finally…I saw something kinda great…something new..a new level of disrespect –

So, I’m playing ball the other day and me and this douchey LA type guy are waiting to get the next game. He’s a nice enough guy but one of those people that when he gets on the court becomes a total prick. We’re watching the teams play and I’m pointing out certain players, I tell him about this one kid who goes by the name of ‘Muffin’. Muffin is one of the kids from the projects near the courts whose been playing at the park forever, it’s weird to say but I think I’ve known him for like 15 years at this point.

Muffin is one of those guys that if you’re down with him, he’s the most loyal person on earth. He’s also completely insane but, to me personally, he’s a nice guy. Over the years I’ve seen Muffin fight many many guys, I’ve seen him break bottles, I’ve seen him threaten two twins that he would cut them both up, to put it mildly, he’s a loose cannon. So, I inform LA douche guy all that because I know he’s the type to talk shit during games.

The game we are watching ends and we finally get on the court and for the first half of the game, things are fine. However, about 10 minutes in to the second half, something happens and LA douche says;
“Stop fouling me…”

Muffin yells back;
“I didn’t foul you!”

LA douche turns to Muffin and dismissively says;
“Chill out bro, I wasn’t talking to’re not even guarding me.”

Within seconds Muffin open hand smacks the dude in the face, lightening quick. The douche backs up and people get in between them. Muffin is predictably yelling;
“Who does he think he is! I’m a grown ass man! He can’t talk to me like that! I’m a grown ass man!”

The guy is trying to settle shit down and it even seems like it might cool out. So, after a few minutes pass, LA douche calmly walks up to muffin extending his hand to shake;
“Hey man, forget about it, let’s just play ball.”

At that moment Muffin looks back it him, loads up and spits a mouth full of yellowish loogie into the guys open hand;
“Fuck you! I ain’t shaking your hand , nigga!”

Wisely, LA douche gets on his bike and breaks out. Game over. The point is, wow…spitting in the hand? That’s like fucking someone to death with an olive branch or gagging someone with a white flag. To be honest, I was impressed as I would have never thought to do that.

Muffin is truly an innovator in the art of disrespect.

Jay Electronica mix

I don’t suppose a somewhat hip hop themed blog can exist nowadays without having some sort of Jay Electronica mixtape. Well, I’m not different in a few ways.
For one, I’m a huge fan of the guy. In a time when 95% of the new music being made is complete and utter bullshit and/or the work of hacks, J.E. brings something that all of us old heads can appreciate. Good rapping. Non-pretentious yet original sounding rap music. To me, He’s like a blend of MF doom and Nas but from the south No, he’s not going to change rap music as we know it, but he is gonna at least push it in the right direction going forward. Hopefully to a place where talent, thoughtfulness , creativity and intelligence are no longer frowned upon by the majority of hip hop listeners. Unlikely, but we can hope, can’t we?
Secondly, We’ve all got our favorite joints and what some other blog may love, might not be my shit and vice versa. I just wanna put in my two cents.
It’s always funny for me to come across people , who are still somewhat engaged in today’s hip hop scene , who hate on this dude. It blows my mind , really. When asked why , they usually shrug and list of other mc’s out now equally worthy of praise. The problem is, those mc’s they’re listing are usually mediocre at best and won’t be around in a year. When i first heard of him, like many others, I was extremely put off by his name. It sounded like a Euro house DJ to me. But once I gave the dude a chance, I was a huge fan. Hopefully, if you’re in the same boat as I was, this little mix will help sway your mind.
So, here’s a bunch of songs by Jay that I love. I omitted “Exhibit C” cause everyone knows that song by now and there no point to really put anyone on to that.
1)Exhibit A (transformations)
3)Exhibit B (feat. Mos Def)
4)Retro Electro
5)So what you sayin’
6)Bitches and drugs
7)Something to hold on to
10)Extra extra
11)My World (Nas salute)
12)A prayer for Michael Vick
13)Eternal Sunshine
14)The ghost of Christopher Wallace (feat. Puffy)

Sloths>>>>>> Your stupid fucking pet.

It is well documented that I simply do not give a shit about animals. Not in a budding serial killer way but with as much indifference as one can muster. There is, however, one animal I’ve always had a soft spot for. That animal is the sloth. This lazy motherfucker is pretty much the coolest animal alive in my eyes. My appreciation for sloths started a long time ago when i was given this picture to hang up in my bedroom.


I have no idea why my mom thought I’d be into this picture but, goddamnit, she was right.
I think I owned the picture for a few years before i even realized it wasn’t an Ewok.

Years later, I was in high school and there was assignment for a spoken presentation on any topic we like. Being lazy and uninterested, I opted to go with the topic of sloths. After school I shot over the local library and did what I always did when given an assignment of a brainless topic. I plagerized the encyclopedia like a champ. Now, this was easily over 15 years ago but , for some reason, I actually retained some knowledge of sloths. Things like that they are fast swimmers and their diet consists of mostly bugs who happen to crawling on their bodies. The best one to me was always about how they die. When they die, if they’re hanging from a tree (which the do pretty much all day) , they will remain hanging , dead, until about two later when their claws finally rot away enough for them to lose grip. The thought of walking through some jungle and dead sloths just raining down from the branches was always really funny to me. Not to mention that their homeboys probably didn’t even know they were dead cause, well, they’re sloths. Hanging from a tree like lifeless piece of shit is kinda what they do.
So, yeah, I love sloths. Recently, a friend of mine pretty much made my day by sending me a video of baby sloths at play.
Suffice to say, prepare for your heart to melt out of your chest.

as an added bonus, here the awesome SNL skit about sloths:

Nerds Vs. Dweebs: There can only be one.

Let’s be real here. If you’re reading this blog, there’s a high chance you’re a nerd. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, in todays culture, it’s actually viewed as a good thing. No more are the days of kids getting thrown in a locker and being called “fag” cause they got an A on a test. Nowadays, a nerd can get some serious pussy , while at the same time, condescend to every person he talks to. And that is where the problem is…motherfuckers have it twisted. There are nerds and there are dweebs. They are two very different things and the dweebs are very much infringing on the nerd’s territory.
In my eyes, a nerd is an obsessive compulsive person who tends to get overly involved in the things they love. So much, that they obsess over the minutia to the point where they may as well be masturbating to it. Nerds are all about the nuances. I’m certainly guilty of this. Anyone who’s ever gotten into a discussion of old school hip hop with me can attest, I’m a huge fucking nerd with an abundance of useless knowledge taking up space in my brain where other shit probably should be. The beauty of nerdism is that is can be about anything. Sports, for instance, has always been the anti-nerd. It was the jock who would typically wedgie the bookish herb simply for being himself. The irony of that is sports nerds may be the biggest nerds on the planet…well, at least tied with sci-fi nerds. Sports nerds store endless stats in their heads. What’s nerdier than that? So, while they’re giving some dork a swirly for acing a test , best believe they could tell you how many home runs Dave Kingman hit in the shortened 1981 season (22, you fucking nerd).
Chances are , if someone is really good at something, they’re a nerd. It takes that kind of focus to , not only understand things intimately but to also give you the drive to commit yourself to them. I’ll tell you, if a musician is NOT a nerd, he’s very likely kinda shitty. It’s always refreshing for me when I see a “too cool for school” type actually letting down their guard and showing their inner nerd. For example:

This video made me like Mos Def more than any music he’s ever made.

Of course, all that glitters nerdily, isn’t nerd gold ( IE: an I-PAd). Don’t get me wrong, nerds obviously have their faults. While they are responsible for making a lot of things better through sheer compulsion, they also tend to get so wrapped up in their own worlds that it’s often hard to see thing from another perspective. Sometimes viewing things from a distance gives one a much better perspective. Not to mention “simplicity” is not in a nerd’s vocabulary. Case in point, film nerds. I certainly can have flashes of this myself but to hear two film geeks explain how a movie is bad or great cause of the lighting and costume design is pretty much sucking the enjoyment out of “entertainment”. But, again, without these same knit picking dickheads, every movie would look like a hallmark channel made for TV movie, so I guess we gotta tip our hat to them a little. It’s the nerdy way.

On the other side of things, we have dweebs. I realize no one even uses this word outside of “The Breakfast Club” but it’s pretty fitting. Dweebs are ACTUAL nerds. By this , I mean that all those people who were getting fucked with in high school , that hated everyone and eventually landed themselves in art school , became cutters and owned pet rats. While they certainly possess nerd qualities, their dweebishness far outweighs any merits their nerdism would have given them. The are social retards. They are generally not interesting and, well, they pretty much suck on all counts.

I remember , when I was in high school, there was this crew of dorky kids who got regularly ridiculed by the general public. I was never one to bully people like that, but I also wasn’t one to stand up for some fucking dorks I didn’t know. At some point, I decided to just be nice to them cause it seemed like the right thing to do. They’re existence in school was pretty miserable and me being friendly couldn’t hurt. Over time, i think they realized I wasn’t a threat and would actually engage me in conversations. It was pretty early on that I realized , they were in fact truly dweebs. They were not nerds. They were all pretty stupid and corny. Their apparent nerdiness may had given them a security blanket of being “misunderstood” but , in reality, they just were generally unsavory people who had nothing to add to anything. That was my first realization that there’s a stark difference between nerds and dweebs.

Flash forward about 15 year and here we are. 2010. And shit is out of control. No one is differentiating between the nerds and the dweebs and it’s causing all sorts of problems. In fact, in certain hipster circles, it’s COOL to be a nerd. I would have no issue with this if the type of nerds being revered were actually nerds. But no, Dweebs are having their time in the sun and it’s got to be stopped. These people living their lives under the nerd umbrella are, in fact, just huge fucking dorks with nothing to offer. Insecure, vapid social rejects who were aware enough to figure out that if they hang out in certain small circles , they can succeed “socially”. By gathering with like minded dip shits , they are “taking back the night” for all those kids who were misunderstood in high school and college. The problem is, these kids were not misunderstood, they were just pussies with nothing to offer anyone. Real nerds don’t fetishize over fashion (unless they’re fashion nerds but that’s strictly for women and gays). Real nerds dress how they dress. They’re too busy obsessing over whatever their niche is to REALLY give a shit about what’s hot in the streets. Real nerds don’t track new trends and go through 5 different lifestyles every year depending on what Vice magazine is saying. Real nerds obsess over one major thing and never really let it go, even when their obsession is a done deal in the eyes of everyone else. No, these dweebs are the same dick riding , acceptance craving , wannabe’s they were 10 years ago , but with more clout.
So, with that, I ask you all. Do me this solid. The next time you’re around these types, don’t adhere to them. They’re not only generally uninteresting people but they’ll also drop you quicker than last months ironic fashion choice. Instead, just slap the shit out of them. Go for it. You can do it. Trust me, it’ll feel great. And the beauty of it is, they won’t do shit back, they’re fucking nerds.

Making your piracy easier

Don’t ever say I didn’t do anything for you.
On some OCD shit, I just tagged up all my “song of the day” posts by genre. This way, if you prefer a certain steeze and have missed out on past posts, you can just skip the bullshit and get it all in once place. I narrowed them down to 6 catagories so , in the name of saving time, I was kinda lenient with what goes where. If it’s soulful, it went in the soul section. if it’s country or folky, it went in the rock section. But really, if you’re gonna complain about that kinda shit go fuck yourself anyway.
So, anyway, here are the links. Obviously, they’re also available on the sidebar but don’t they look prettier right here?