Notes from the road Part 3

I caught an episode of “The Price Is RIght” while chilling the hotel. What the fuck is up with Drew Carey? He lost tons of weight and is slowly morphing into Bob Barker…except Bob Barker never looked like a scarecrow with full blown AIDS.
Watching this show also put how out of touch I am with the prices of things. Being that I really only buy food and drinks I had no clue a brand new Porche, A huge pool table, a million inch flat screen TV and whole entertainment set up would only cost like $70,000. I would have guessed $250,000. And this is why I will never win on The Price Is Right. That and Plink-O is obviously rigged.

Merch booth placement is crucial. Ideally, you want a spot near or within view of the stage. Preferably, off to the side. The last few shows I’ve done the booth has been in another room. Like waaaaay in the back. Sure, this might cut into sales a little but if people want to buy shit, they’ll find you. It’s not like they stuffed me in a broom closet. My beef with distant merch booths is that it opens the door for people to corner you. I’m sitting there, way in the back. In a room or section with no other purpose for people to be in except buy shit from me. But , instead of buying shit, people sometimes use it as a “come up and talk for a 45 minutes” booth. i actually don’t mind this usually cause , for the most part, people are cool and I do like chatting people up (particularly when I’m a little drunk). However, there should be a ten minute limit to anyone chatting. ESPECIALLY guys. I don’t mean that in a “I’m trying to get pussy” kinda way at all. I’m just saying the people who set up camp in the merch booth tend to be dudes who wanna talk at length about everything. I’m down to bro-down and all…just not all night.

On a similar note,
Every now and then you get a dude who’s in it for the long haul and , pretty much always, you find out this dude is a promoter of some sort. God bless promoters. It’s a shitty job where you deal with shitty people and put on , mostly, shitty shows. Especially in small markets with unestablished scenes. It’s a labor of love for sure. But sometimes, they gotta know when to keep it moving. Chances are, if i’m performing in your city that night, it’s gonna be a while before I return. Trying to book me for a month from now isn’t helping anyone. And If i give you my booking agents info, use it. There’s a reason he and my manager exist. It’s so I don’t have to deal with any of the business side of music making. It’s the worst part and the more involved you get in it, the less fun making music becomes. So, to all promoters who wanna chop it up at shows, let me just write out what my part of the conversation will be like

What’s up man,
Nice to meet you.
Oh , word? I’d love to come do a show at _____ (your city here)
holler at my booking agent
Now, unless you wanna talk about porn or basketball, we’re about done here.

What’s the deal with super high toilet bowl? I’m 6 feet tall and the majority of shitters I’ve sat in at venues have been so high I’m on my tippy toes. I feel bad for you short guys. It must be like shitting on a barstool. a literal BAR-STOOL. Get it? sorry…

4 thoughts on “Notes from the road Part 3

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