El-P remixes “the Music Scene”

The song, not the whole album. So of you are never satisfied!
This just in:
(sorry, the embed is fucking up right now so you’ll just have to copy and paste the link below:


This will be released (as well a new song by me called “Ugly Brown”) on the Ninja Tune Anniversary album dropping soon.
Say werd.

Notes from the road

Three days down…

Just a few notes:
I was at the merch table in Seattle and some kid straight up gave me forty bucks. He told me he had illegally downloaded all my albums and he wanted to repay me. That’s pretty much the coolest shit ever. Perhaps this will become a trend? (in my fucking dreams)

I did a fair amount or arm signing last night. Like 3 or 4 different arms. Still trying to wrap my head around the functionality of that but , hey, whatever floats your boat. Signing tits makes WAY more sense.

I ate Jack In The Box for the first time ever today. This will not become a trend.
While waiting for my food this weird goth/metal/hip hop hybrid guy asked the guy at the register if the sirloin burger was good. Understandably, the register guy was thrown off by anyone asking questions concerning the food quality of Jack In The Box. He lied and told the hybrid kid it was good. The kid bought 2 of them. SALESMANSHIP IN EFFECT.

I’ve heard some pretty funny pick up lines thus far.
My favorite being in Bellingham, WA when a girl asked me if she could trade me something for a cd. Seeing where this was going, I kinda just played dumb. “like what?” I asked. Her offer? Breakfast. Smooth. I politely turned her down and she stormed off calling me a “Cock blocker”. Definitely the first time a girl has called me that, particularly referring to my very own cock.

Hotels that are crappy but livable (Econolodge level) have very shady plumbing. Flushing twice to make a piss go down the toilet is a bad look. Especially when you’re not pissing.

I know it’s cliche but to say I’ve been eating badly in an understatement. And it’s not your typical “fast food every day” kinda thing. I’m more speaking on my own inability to not get the worst fucking thing on the menu. Why on earth did I order the bacon covered mac and cheese for dinner last night?
To be fair though, my homeboy who we were eating with (who is actively trying to eat healthy) ordered the “buffalo chicken salad” which is probably about as healthy as drinking cocoa butter.

Last night all the dudes I’m touring with and I crashed at some really nice big house in Portland. I actually have no clue who’s crib it is but I do know that I just woke up on the bottom level of a child bunk bed. I hope this kid likes the smell of whiskey farts.

That’s all for now…more to come.
California, we’re coming…

Song of the Day 9/18/10

Feelin’ Alright By The Jungle Brothers

People are often surprised when I tell them one of my all time favorite albums is “Done by The Force Of Nature” by The Jungle Brothers. This album was huge for me when I got it. Not only did it expand my horizons as a rap fan , it also was one of the first album to make me take a closer look at production. On their first album (Straight Out the Jungle) The J.B.’s were one of the first groups to really utilize breaks. On this album, they raised the bar. Great shit all around. It’s still one of the few abums I could bump front to back with no problem (even the highly questionable song “you make me sweat”)

West coast/Texas Tour is upon us!!

Today is the first day of my brief tour out west and down in Texas.
If you’re a fan, I’d love to see you at these shows.
Here’s a rundown of the upcoming dates and locations:

9/16 Seattle, WA Nectar Lounge w/ Signal Path, Nocando
9/17 Bellingham, WA The Wild Buffalo w/ Signal Path , Nocando
9/18 Portland, OR Refuge w/ Signal Path, Nocando
9/21 San Diego, CA The Casbah Cafe w/ Signal Path , Nocando, Open mike eagle
9/22 Santa Cruz, CA Moe’s Alley
w/ Signal Path,Nocando, Open mike eagle
9/23 Arcata, CA Arcata Theatre
w/ Signal Path ,Nocando, Open mike eagle
9/24 Berkeley, CA Shattuck Down Low
w/ Signal Path , Nocando, Open mike eagle
9/25 Los Angeles, CA The Roxy
w/ Signal Path ,Nocando, Open mike eagle
10/1 Austin, TX The Parrish
10/2 Dallas, TX The Palladium opening for Bassnectar
And a little later on…
10/15 New York , NY The natural History Museum It’s a Fader party, Opening for Shabazz Palaces
11/12 Detroit, MI Fillmore opening for Pretty Lights
11/13 Milwaukee, WI The Rave opening for Pretty Lights

so, Yeah, come on out and say Hi.
I’ll be the guy by the merch table and then on stage…and then back at the merch table.
As for this blog while i’m on the road, I’ll do my best. Who knows, maybe enough funny shit will happen that I’ll be able to do write ups of every different city. doubtful, but we’ll see.

The Lonely hearts club: Facebook edition

The topic of Facebook and it’s many unintentional guffaws is nothing new. Lamebook has made an art of it and it’s rare to find a blog that hasn’t thrown their hat in to the commentary at some point. This blog is no exception as I’ve certainly taken my shots at the beloved website.
Well, allow me to speak on something I’ve noticed lately on the good old Facebook. I’m sure it’s been happening since the Friendster days but , for some reason, it’s been jumping out at me more and more lately.
This trend involves 30+ year old woman who are painfully single*. I’m talking no options beyond a few decade old booty calls. Gone are the years of their last long-term relationship and the free for all days of casual sex with no consequences. These ladies are now resigned to posting endless Facebook updates that read like white flags. Posts like

“My bed is so warm…to bad it’s just me in here”
“Boys Beware! It’s ladies night”

Both those are equally skin crawling considering the people saying them are about 6 years away from infertility. Seriously. These are adult women writing thing that should be questioned when written by an 18 year old child abuse survivor.

A great example of this is a girl I went to high school with. When I entered my high school, the 9th grade class had a serious lack of good-looking girls. There were maybe 4 cute girls and that’s being gauged on a “chronic masturbating 14-year-old boy” curve. This girl, however, was far and away the hottest girl. She was cute, but more importantly, she had body. Seniors spotted her quickly and it was established early on in the year that no freshman dude was even talking to her. So, that was that. She went to school with me for 3 years and I never said a word to her. LITERALLY , NOT A WORD. She was the epitome of too cool for school yet, obviously, every dude wanted to hit that. Well, 15+ years later, I get a friend request from her on Facebook. Keep in mind, a lot of time has passed. This former #1 draft pick hasn’t aged badly. She looks good. But, also, since that time, it’s a safe bet that my taste in women has become more refined. While she’s still attractive, she really isn’t shit on the larger scale. Regardless, out of curiosity, I accept her friendship. We have no interaction beyond that, and that’s totally fine with me. I really just wanted to see how she looked as an older person and keep it moving.
At first glance, her profile is a mess. It’s pretty clear that she has never been on anything like facebook/myspace and has joined due to pressuring of friends or desperate times. As the week passes, I notice her finding her groove with the status updates. Two weeks in, everything starts to become clear. This is a lonely girl who may have missed the boat. Every update is about single lady pride and cruising for boys. It’s like being at a Sex in the city script run through but on Facebook and it’s just beyond desperate. A few months have passed and she’s slowed down with the updates, but rest assured, when they do come, they’re of that same ilk.

The thing is , times have obviously changed and , thankfully, woman are no longer expected to be married with kids by the time they’re 28. This is a good thing. But with the times changing and the importance of media, things that are aimed at the youth have also been picked up by older people. I’d say facebook is one of those things. But, with Facebook, it’s really HOW you use it that speaks in volumes. For teenagers and college kids, it’s a perfect forum for soap box opinions or public moments of insecure self-realization. For people who are more on the full-grown adult side of things, it might be a good idea to move away from that kind of shit. Keep in mind, this is coming to you from a grown up child himself so, take it with a grain of salt. Also, to be fair, there is a male version of this but the main difference is the male prototype is simply just in it for the ass. Sure, they may be both pathetic in different ways, but a man in the lonely hearts club of facebook has goals that are quite shallow when compared to the ladies.
I think what it comes down to is have a speck of self-respect. I get the appeal of lightly whoring yourself out on Facebook. Positive feedback is nice. Especially when you’re feeling old and unwanted. There’s certainly no shortage of men willing to “like” anything a remotely attractive single girl posts or write flirtatious comments on the most benign of status updates. We all wanna fuck , right? And just cause you’re 35 and single doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a good shot in the pants. My advice would be to perhaps act more your age and just try meeting dudes at a bar. You know, real human contact. The irony is, men can usually sniff out desperation either way. but luckily for you ladies, we really don’t give a shit.

*not to be confused with happily single 30+ year old women. I know tons of girls like this and, contrary to what facebook may represent, they actually do carry themselves very well and still manage to get laid whenever they want. Cheers to you hoes!

Song of the day 9/14/10

One of the hardest By Saafir
For a lot of underground rap dudes my age, Saafir holds a special place. He murdered Casual’s first album than dropped the Beloved “Boxcar sessions” album. Since then, his out put has been erratic in both quality and quantity. Earlier this year, I got my hands on some random EP he did called “One of the hardest”. While it may be a “Pause” worthy title, it was actually surprisingly good. It showcased an older and very muslim Saafir. While the EP has a handful of good songs, the title cut really sticks out to me. Most of all cause it’s saafir telling two very interesting stories. One about his first time ever being in NYC , during the early 90’s. The second being a pretty crazy two verse tale of the time he was in a place crash and survived. I had no idea that had happened but the shit is pretty nuts.
On a side note, I find it kinda funny that this song is all about how he’s one of the hardest but in the final verse, when he explains how the plane made an emergency landing, he was the first on the inflatable raft after snuffing some dude in the face for trying to keep him in his seat. Not that I wouldn’t have done the same thing but that’s hardly the move on “one of the hardest”. More like “one of the most eager to break the fuck out”. but hey, survival mode is a motherfucker.