New rap rule: Be better than Bieber

For a while I was a long time supporter of the idea that no person under the age of 25 should rap anymore. I was riding high on this until I heard the Odd Future camp and pretty much had no more case to make about anything.
Yesterday, I saw a link to something that blew my mind.
Yes, it’s your boy Yung Biebz rapping. Equipped with the swag and hand jive of real life rappers, J.B. flexes his lyrical miracles all over the place. Here’s something slightly different and more sugar-coated:

Now, here’s the issue. Yes, it’s infuriating that Justin Bieber Raps. Of course. But , you know what? It’s even more infuriating that he’s not completely terrible. He was perfectly adequate. His flow was alright. His lyrics were no worse than most of the crap the kids bump these days. It’s was just…fine. Which leads me to the fact that ANYBODY can rap. There was a time when you needed some sort of pass to even be allowed on the mike but those times are long gone. And , beyond that, being a “capable” rapper is fairly easy. Just subtly copy what ever’s popular now and stay on beat. If Bieber can so it, so can you. Lets not forget, Bieber is a white trash Canadian child. No one should rap less than him…and yet…he does.
It’s not just lil’ B(ieber).
Peep Rev Run’s brat ass son:

I can’t front. When I first saw this , I was impressed. Mostly cause , at age 11 (or whatever) , he had already surpassed his older brother , JoJo, as a rapper. The beauty of this is that JoJo spent a good deal of a few seasons of “Run’s house” focusing on his shitty rap group and trying to get signed. To anyone with a discerning ear, it was obvious that JoJo lacked all the basic components of rapping. His flow was off , he had a serious case of white boy voice, and lyrically, he was as big a piece of shit as he was personally. Diggy Simmons, however, can kinda rap. That must burn JoJo’s soul.

So, my point is, now that it’s clear that pretty much anyone can rap (except JoJo Simmons, who cannot rap at all), at what point will we begin to bring in some quality control? Now seems like the perfect time. The bar has been set. Bieber can rap. So, from now on, you must be at least twice as good as Bieber if you want to be a rapper. Deal? Deal.
Is there some sort of lawmaker I can contact to get the ball rolling on this? perhaps put it in the Constitution? Let a dude know. Holler!

(special thanks to Apex from Dujeous for linking me to the original video. Woo-hoo!)

25 thoughts on “New rap rule: Be better than Bieber

  1. You gots my vote. Would that mean Bieber couldn’t be a rapper anymore? Cause he could never be twice as good as himself.

    Great picture.

  2. hi there,
    living in England and not listening to the charts or the radio much i’ve heard of Justin Beiber but (thankfully ( i guess ) never heard the young sensation ‘s songs ;
    however that was a really cool rhyme and certainly better than most of the wanna sound like the next rapper rappers that seem to be around in the marketed rap game at the moment !!

    good work on the blog keep it up sir !

  3. Aw shit. Thanks for the shout. I’ll be at the show tonight, provided museum security doesn’t remember me from last time, when I got kicked out for trying to figure out the sex of that blue whale.

  4. Pingback: Rap Round Table, Week Ending 10/15/2010

  5. Tim is a twat… kinda.

    He’s plays a twat very well but he is actually quite a smart and funny guy.

    About 10 years ago (maybe more) his radio 1 rap show was amazing, he had everyone who was anyone on the show freestyling, mixing and hanging out.

    He a parody of himself now and plays shite music bit give the guy his dues…

  6. leave poor JB alone he is the best pictures of him kissing other boys is not true boys just do it to anoy us girls!!!!!!!!!! I ❤ JUSTIN BIEBER

  7. that picture up there^ was taking by somone it is a real picture but justins head is just put on it because i know for a fact that justin DOSE NOT HAVE BOOBS!!! so grow up and stop hating on justin b.

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