You got dumped cause you suck.

This is not a gossip blog…but , sometimes, it may seem like it. Like…nowish.
I recently read this post on the gossip blog D-listed
It’s basically about how America’s purest vagina, Taylor Swift , did a song with America’s filthiest penis , John Mayer, and they MAY have hooked up. That alleged hook up led to a new song by Swift (titled “Dear John”) where she basically calls out some older guy for dogging her out.
Ok. I’ve never heard this song or any of her songs for that matter. All I know about her is what I read on websites like D-listed. So, what I know is that she’s the sweetest sweetie this side of the Mason-Dixon line yet she’s always having issues with men who do her wrong. These two things do not exactly work together in my mind. Sure, men are fucked up and will often bulldoze through women regardless of how nice the girl is. That is a pretty strong male trait. Especially famous men who have endless vaginas around them at all times. But, there’s this thing that the media does with “sweethearts” that doesn’t sit right with me. Perhaps, not every woman in the spotlight who gets fucked over by some asshole is Sandra Bullock. PERHAPS, Some of them are probably just extremely annoying , self absorbed assholes who got dissed cause they were insufferable. Now, I don’t know any of these people persoanlly. In fact, I don’t have a leg to stand on with this opinion , in terms of the actual people I’m talking about. But, I have met actresses and musicians and, for the most part, they’re all fucking self obsessed assholes. People I wouldn’t wanna date let alone have sex with for a third time. Not to mention, the people I’ve met like this aren’t even famous! Imagine that mind set but with the added sense of superiority and importance? How truly horrific that person could be is unfathomable to me.
Whenever a famous woman (let’s say ladies like Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson or Halle Berry) gets repeatedly dumped over the course of a few years, one has to wonder what the issue REALLY is. Sure, the media paints them as victims (while they very well may be) but I don’t know if I’m fully buying that.
Any girl I’ve ever cut ties with was for a reason. Even if it was a “It’s not you, it’s me” situation, rest assured, it was still mostly them. So, with this in mind, when people are the dump-ed over and over again, it’s a little telling.

There are two lines of thought that come into this.
#1These girls just date terrible men.
#2These girls are intolerable and get dumped because of it.

#1, to me, is only half true. I know plenty of girls with terrible radar when it comes to men. They only like the worst possible dudes and you can’t tell them anything. These girls are generally doormats to whatever asshole they choose. The thing about this, when used as an excuse for the above mentioned types of gals, is that scum bags don’t generally dump girls. Any scum bag worth his weight in scum will never break up with a girl. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Scum bags tend to stick around as long as you will let them. The only way they go away is when the girl finally either realizes the truth or is pulled away by her friends and family in some sort of relationship intervention. So, yes, it’s very possible Taylor Swift, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson and Halle Berry all have bad taste in men. Maybe their dads didn’t love them…who knows? But that still doesn’t explain why they all keep getting kicked to the curb so frequently. This leads me to #2.
They suck.
No more. No less.
I think the idea of any dude dumping Halle Berry blows most peoples minds. She’s widely considered one of the hottest women alive and rich. What could possibly make anyone want to give that up? Maybe she never shuts up about herself and her minimal problems? Maybe she’s incredibly dull? Maybe she has chronic shit breath and speaks only in “Austin Powers” quotes? For all we know, she’s hyper jealous and nags constantly. All these things can be enough to drive men away. Does it make these ladies terrible people? Not really. but it also doesn’t make them innocent. Just cause you get dumped doesn’t aways mean you were wronged. Even murder can be done in self defense.
I’ve been on both sides of a dumping. In all cases, it was someone’s fault. As much as people wanna explain their reasoning to each other, when it comes down to it, one person wanted out and got the fuck outta dodge. It doesn’t matter if this is two 14 year olds who shared their first kiss or the two most famous people in the world. Now, if you’ve been dumped once or twice over a lifetime, shit happens. Not all relationships work out and most of them do eventually end. However, if you’re constantly on the receiving end of “we need to talk…” kinda convo’s where you feel blind sided , guess what? You suck.

RIP Eyedea

I met Eyedea about 10 years ago. At the time he was Slug’s hype man in Atmosphere and they were both in town for the Rock Steady Anniversary. This was after he had made a name for himself by winning Scribble Jam , but before he had started putting out albums with DJ Abilities and had won the Blaze battle. This was also around the time the idea for “The Orphanage” was birthed. This was to be a super group of underground heads consisting of Aesop, Slug, Eyedea, Illogic and Blueprint. While this project never got off the ground (aside from a small handful of songs that were recorded in Minneapolis over the span of two days) , it did create friendships that bonded everyone.
I can’t lie, that was the last time I saw Eyedea. For a few days, we (The orphanage, Can Ox, Atoms Family) hung out in NYC and just fucked around. It was then that we recorded “Miss By a Mile” , that was later released on “It came from beyond pt. 2”.

I remember being really taken back by how on point Eyedea was. He was much younger than all of us but yet was like a well oiled machine when it came to recording. That kind of skill and exactness is rare to see, especially back then in the days of lyrical miracle rappers who never rhymed the same verse the same way.
We actually recorded a few songs that weekend. One was an alternate version of “Bent Life” (off of Labor Days) which featured Slug and Eyedea. I wish I knew where that was cause it would be really cool to hear again. I seriously have no memory of any part of it EXCEPT Eyedea’s verse. He destroyed that track and ,if memory serves, knocked it out in one (maybe 2) takes. Professional shit.
The third song we did was some truly embarrassing pre-emo emo shit that I think not a single person involved would ever like to see the light of day. Lucky for all parties, I had the only copy and I have no clue where it went. It’s probably buried at the bottom of some box of unmarked cd’s. This is a good thing.

Beyond all the music stuff, Eyedea was a good dude. He was friendly and had boundless energy. I really enjoyed watching him mature as an artist and admired his drive and love of what he did. I wish I had gotten to see him more over the years , if not just to shoot the shit and see, first hand, how he had grown up. My deepest condolences go out to his family and close friends.

Here’s a link to a facebook page that you can donate money to , to help pay for his funeral services.
RIP Eyedea

Song of the day 10/17/10

Tattles Tale By Horror City
Prince Paul recently gave way an album by a group he produced in the mid 90’s called “Horror City”. The rapping is pretty good but it’s really the production that carries the song, as well as the entire album.
When I heard of this (re)release, the name “Horror City” , rang a bell. I walked over to my dusty ass cassette collection and realized I , in fact, had been given an old copy of a demo they made by Maseo of De La Soul. This may sound like some bragging type shit but, truth be told, it wasn’t like that at all. What happened was , I was walking down St. Marks street around 95. I saw this huge van with all sorts of graffiti covering it. I noticed a small group of people crowding around it so I decided to check what all the big deal was about. I walked up to the window and there was Maseo with a box of cassettes. It was full of a 5 track demos by Horror City. He announced to the crowd this was his new project (I think he actually made a good deal of the beats on the original demo) and that it was coming out soon. I felt pretty fucking cool walking home with this super rare demo tape. I got home , popped it in my tape deck and was pretty underwhelmed. Still, it had it’s moments and if I was a little less lazy, I’d covert it to MP3’s for you guys. But, alas, I am that lazy. Sorry!
The full length album Paul gave out is actually much better, so just download that instead. Anyway, This is my favorite song from it.

New rap rule: Be better than Bieber

For a while I was a long time supporter of the idea that no person under the age of 25 should rap anymore. I was riding high on this until I heard the Odd Future camp and pretty much had no more case to make about anything.
Yesterday, I saw a link to something that blew my mind.
Yes, it’s your boy Yung Biebz rapping. Equipped with the swag and hand jive of real life rappers, J.B. flexes his lyrical miracles all over the place. Here’s something slightly different and more sugar-coated:

Now, here’s the issue. Yes, it’s infuriating that Justin Bieber Raps. Of course. But , you know what? It’s even more infuriating that he’s not completely terrible. He was perfectly adequate. His flow was alright. His lyrics were no worse than most of the crap the kids bump these days. It’s was just…fine. Which leads me to the fact that ANYBODY can rap. There was a time when you needed some sort of pass to even be allowed on the mike but those times are long gone. And , beyond that, being a “capable” rapper is fairly easy. Just subtly copy what ever’s popular now and stay on beat. If Bieber can so it, so can you. Lets not forget, Bieber is a white trash Canadian child. No one should rap less than him…and yet…he does.
It’s not just lil’ B(ieber).
Peep Rev Run’s brat ass son:

I can’t front. When I first saw this , I was impressed. Mostly cause , at age 11 (or whatever) , he had already surpassed his older brother , JoJo, as a rapper. The beauty of this is that JoJo spent a good deal of a few seasons of “Run’s house” focusing on his shitty rap group and trying to get signed. To anyone with a discerning ear, it was obvious that JoJo lacked all the basic components of rapping. His flow was off , he had a serious case of white boy voice, and lyrically, he was as big a piece of shit as he was personally. Diggy Simmons, however, can kinda rap. That must burn JoJo’s soul.

So, my point is, now that it’s clear that pretty much anyone can rap (except JoJo Simmons, who cannot rap at all), at what point will we begin to bring in some quality control? Now seems like the perfect time. The bar has been set. Bieber can rap. So, from now on, you must be at least twice as good as Bieber if you want to be a rapper. Deal? Deal.
Is there some sort of lawmaker I can contact to get the ball rolling on this? perhaps put it in the Constitution? Let a dude know. Holler!

(special thanks to Apex from Dujeous for linking me to the original video. Woo-hoo!)

Some Halloween costume Ideas

Halloween is almost upon us once again, and it’s time for many people to buckle down and pick out a costume.
For men, we either go all out or just lazily grab whatever’s in our closet and create a makeshift costume. For instance , the last few years , I have been “Over grown boy scout separatist”

This costume was basically just me in some cargo shorts, sneakers, a tan shirt and boy scouts had I bought for 3 dollars. The crucial add-on was the beard , which propelled the costume into “Creepy” territories.
Last year, I opted for “A Creep”.

This was the most makeshift of all makeshift costumes. I wore an old suit, a grey bill Clinton wig , a fake moustache and some sun glasses. Basically, I just acted like a scum bag all night and the costume came alive.
For women, it’s no secret the “whore” angle will never die. While I’m not complaining as I have both eyes and a pulse, I wouldn’t mid ladies putting a little more creativity into it. Dressing in lingerie and throwing some cat ears on doesn’t make you a cat. Step up your ho game, ho’s!

Anyway, as you can see, I half ass my Halloween’s pretty hard. The truth is, I’m just not one of those inspired Halloween people. But ,what I can do is throw some ideas out there for some forward thinking person to bring to life.
First off for the fellas:
1)Kool Moe Dee Snider
2)Horny eunuch
3)The abortion fairy
4)Malcolm X-box
5)Erotic (NOT SEXY!) Guitar center worker
6)Bret Favre’s battered penis
7)Cumby (use your imagination)

For the ladies:
1)Snookie’s vaginal warts (face it, everyone who is at all corny is gonna be in a Jersey Shore related costume, step it up!)
2)The Kool Aid guy (fat girls only)
3)Lady Gaga at age 90
4)Ghost whore (where a sheet over your body but cut out holes for penetration to all cavities)
5)Chet from the real world (lesbian specific)
6)Sexy Angela Lansbury
7)Naomi Watts riots

Group costume Ideas:
1)The entire cast of “Everybody loves Raymond”
2)The Nazi’s from “Higher learning”
3)The boys from “Entourage” after a napalm attack
4)The new “Free credit” band
5)The watchmen-at work

You’re welcome! Don’t forget to send pics of any of these costumes actually executed. I will post them up for sure.

Song of the day 10/11/10

Operator By Ol’ Dirty Bastard Feat. The Clipse
I honestly have no clue where I got this song from. I don’t know if it’s on any album but this recording must have been taken off a mixtape of some sort. Regardless, this is ODB bugging out (Pretty sure this was made the year he passed away) and The Clipse doing their thing over a a Neptunes beat. Pretty obvious this was a throw away track but it’s still pretty cool.
My apologies for the abrupt ending. If anyone has a better version, feel free to upload it in the comments.

Yellow fever

It’s no secret that Asian girls have been a huge hit over the last decade or so amongst non-asian guys. This makes sense , as there are tons of beautiful asian women of all types out there. But , beneath the natural attraction to a pretty girl lays a slightly creepier underworld. I’m speaking of guys who ONLY date asian girls. Really, this could be said of men who only date any single race. Hell, I know dudes who are only attracted to blonde girls. But the asian fetish is something of its own.
Every now and then , I’ll come across a guy who openly tells me he loves asian girls. That’s cool. Me too. However, I dig a little deeper and ,all of a sudden, I find my self talking to someone who’s in it way deeper than just being able to appreciate an attractive girl of asian descent. No, these motherfuckers are obsessed. I’ve known dudes who started learning an asian dialect (Usually Japanese) simply as a means to be able to kick it to asian girls. I even knew one guy who I’d see bopping around town in a fucking samurai gown like a creepy hipster ninja. One time I ran into him and he was with a Japanese girl who spoke maybe 10 words of english. He introduced her as his girlfriend and gave me a look like “Yeah motherfucker, I just hit the lottery with this one”. She wasn’t even that cute. Just a normal looking japanese girl who didn’t speak english. To me, that sounds like hell. If I can’t communicate with you on the most basic level, you might as well be a wild jungle cat. Same difference. But, regardless, he smugly strutted her around like a prized pig…in his fucking samurai outfit. He even had his hair in a little ball. Jesus…But I digress.
Other times, I’ve been out with friends who’ve got the fever. Their radar is immaculate. We could walk into a bar filled with 80 people and they will spot their target for the night within seconds. She doesn’t have to be pretty. No even close. She just simply needs to be asian. Any kind will do. Hell, most of these dudes will fuck a busted Eskimo girl simply cause she’s there.
I think the creepy thing about having an asian fetish is that it kinda speaks a lot of the person. We’ve all heard the saying that dudes who seek out asian girls tend to have gay tendencies but I don’t think it goes that far. Sure, most asian girls aren’t the most curvaceous but If that was case, why wouldn’t they just seek out ballerina’s, gymnasts or frumpy little lesbian looking girls? The other line of thought is that there’s a built-in stereotype that american men have that tells us asian women are docile and quiet. While this may have more truth in certain parts of Asia (depending on the culture) , Americanized asian girls don’t really fit that bill. Also, while we’re talking stereotypes, asian girls are known to be clean as well as have soft skin. I don’t think that’s turning any guy away (but I will say one of the hairiest vaginas’ I’ve ever seen belonged to a japanese girl) But what is it really? I’m attracted to pretty much all races and I feel like they all have their upside. So why would someone pass up all those many flavors in exchange for an obsession over one type?
So, my theory?
While I think all the aforementioned examples do hold a little bit of truth, mostly, these dudes like to dominate smaller girls. Asian girls, for the most part, are short and petite. What better body type for a man to sew his egomaniacal oats all over. How’s that for honest?
This makes me think back to a disturbing conversation I once had with my brother-in-law. I was about 14 and very much a virgin. He was a brash , french , chain smoker in his early 40’s who was married to my sister. Somehow we got into a conversation about women. That’s when he dropped this jewel on me:
“Always date smaller girls…they’re easy to move around on…”
Now, my 14 year old virgin brain had no clue what the fuck he was talking about. And, more importantly, he was talking about fucking my sister (who happens to be 5’1”). I was about 85% horrified and 15% confused. Years later, when I was finally fucking on a regular basis, that quote popped back into my head. Know what? I agreed. At least at that point.
I think the fetishizing of asian women amongst certain men has a lot to do with that train of thought. More than any of those dudes would like to admit. As much as they might joke that “It’s cool cause they don’t talk back” or “She cooks me shit all the time and always smells great” , I think the domination angle fits in there somewhere. I suppose, at our core, men are very simple. Our needs are extremely simple. So, on paper, this stereotypical asian girl is perfect. We like food, quiet, sex and freedom. All these things can potentially be fulfilled by a cartoonish asian girl that doesn’t really exist. The reality of this stereotype is that , at least in america, it’s just that. A stereotype. I’m sure there are girls that the stereotype applies to perfectly but the same could be say for jewish girls or Puerto rican girls. I’ve dated both and they’ve all had aspects of the asian stereotype. So, It’s gotta be that , when it comes down to it, men just like to think they’re dominating their partner sexually. And what better for that than this:

The point I’m getting at is that anyone who fetishizes over one race to the point where they shut out all others, is either a person who only dates their own race (which is a whole other topic) or a creep with a weird chip on their shoulder. Every race has something to offer. Even a busted eskimo. (whale blubber ain’t cheap yall!)

Heads up NYC, I gotta show this week.

This is an interesting one. It’s at the Natural History Museum this Friday. I’ve never gone to one of these show/parties but I’ve a heard good things. Also, I’m opening for Shabazz Palaces AKA Ish AKA Butterfly from Digable Planet. I’ve written him up on this blog before and I’m really psyched to see him live. In case you missed it, here are some clips of his new shit:

Anyway, I’ve been told I go on around 10. I’m playing for an hour. Come out. If you saw me play in NYC earlier this year, I’m not gonna lie, it’s a similar set. But if you missed it, this might be a good one to check out.