Some Halloween costume Ideas

Halloween is almost upon us once again, and it’s time for many people to buckle down and pick out a costume.
For men, we either go all out or just lazily grab whatever’s in our closet and create a makeshift costume. For instance , the last few years , I have been “Over grown boy scout separatist”

This costume was basically just me in some cargo shorts, sneakers, a tan shirt and boy scouts had I bought for 3 dollars. The crucial add-on was the beard , which propelled the costume into “Creepy” territories.
Last year, I opted for “A Creep”.

This was the most makeshift of all makeshift costumes. I wore an old suit, a grey bill Clinton wig , a fake moustache and some sun glasses. Basically, I just acted like a scum bag all night and the costume came alive.
For women, it’s no secret the “whore” angle will never die. While I’m not complaining as I have both eyes and a pulse, I wouldn’t mid ladies putting a little more creativity into it. Dressing in lingerie and throwing some cat ears on doesn’t make you a cat. Step up your ho game, ho’s!

Anyway, as you can see, I half ass my Halloween’s pretty hard. The truth is, I’m just not one of those inspired Halloween people. But ,what I can do is throw some ideas out there for some forward thinking person to bring to life.
First off for the fellas:
1)Kool Moe Dee Snider
2)Horny eunuch
3)The abortion fairy
4)Malcolm X-box
5)Erotic (NOT SEXY!) Guitar center worker
6)Bret Favre’s battered penis
7)Cumby (use your imagination)

For the ladies:
1)Snookie’s vaginal warts (face it, everyone who is at all corny is gonna be in a Jersey Shore related costume, step it up!)
2)The Kool Aid guy (fat girls only)
3)Lady Gaga at age 90
4)Ghost whore (where a sheet over your body but cut out holes for penetration to all cavities)
5)Chet from the real world (lesbian specific)
6)Sexy Angela Lansbury
7)Naomi Watts riots

Group costume Ideas:
1)The entire cast of “Everybody loves Raymond”
2)The Nazi’s from “Higher learning”
3)The boys from “Entourage” after a napalm attack
4)The new “Free credit” band
5)The watchmen-at work

You’re welcome! Don’t forget to send pics of any of these costumes actually executed. I will post them up for sure.

Song of the day 10/11/10

Operator By Ol’ Dirty Bastard Feat. The Clipse
I honestly have no clue where I got this song from. I don’t know if it’s on any album but this recording must have been taken off a mixtape of some sort. Regardless, this is ODB bugging out (Pretty sure this was made the year he passed away) and The Clipse doing their thing over a a Neptunes beat. Pretty obvious this was a throw away track but it’s still pretty cool.
My apologies for the abrupt ending. If anyone has a better version, feel free to upload it in the comments.

Yellow fever

It’s no secret that Asian girls have been a huge hit over the last decade or so amongst non-asian guys. This makes sense , as there are tons of beautiful asian women of all types out there. But , beneath the natural attraction to a pretty girl lays a slightly creepier underworld. I’m speaking of guys who ONLY date asian girls. Really, this could be said of men who only date any single race. Hell, I know dudes who are only attracted to blonde girls. But the asian fetish is something of its own.
Every now and then , I’ll come across a guy who openly tells me he loves asian girls. That’s cool. Me too. However, I dig a little deeper and ,all of a sudden, I find my self talking to someone who’s in it way deeper than just being able to appreciate an attractive girl of asian descent. No, these motherfuckers are obsessed. I’ve known dudes who started learning an asian dialect (Usually Japanese) simply as a means to be able to kick it to asian girls. I even knew one guy who I’d see bopping around town in a fucking samurai gown like a creepy hipster ninja. One time I ran into him and he was with a Japanese girl who spoke maybe 10 words of english. He introduced her as his girlfriend and gave me a look like “Yeah motherfucker, I just hit the lottery with this one”. She wasn’t even that cute. Just a normal looking japanese girl who didn’t speak english. To me, that sounds like hell. If I can’t communicate with you on the most basic level, you might as well be a wild jungle cat. Same difference. But, regardless, he smugly strutted her around like a prized pig…in his fucking samurai outfit. He even had his hair in a little ball. Jesus…But I digress.
Other times, I’ve been out with friends who’ve got the fever. Their radar is immaculate. We could walk into a bar filled with 80 people and they will spot their target for the night within seconds. She doesn’t have to be pretty. No even close. She just simply needs to be asian. Any kind will do. Hell, most of these dudes will fuck a busted Eskimo girl simply cause she’s there.
I think the creepy thing about having an asian fetish is that it kinda speaks a lot of the person. We’ve all heard the saying that dudes who seek out asian girls tend to have gay tendencies but I don’t think it goes that far. Sure, most asian girls aren’t the most curvaceous but If that was case, why wouldn’t they just seek out ballerina’s, gymnasts or frumpy little lesbian looking girls? The other line of thought is that there’s a built-in stereotype that american men have that tells us asian women are docile and quiet. While this may have more truth in certain parts of Asia (depending on the culture) , Americanized asian girls don’t really fit that bill. Also, while we’re talking stereotypes, asian girls are known to be clean as well as have soft skin. I don’t think that’s turning any guy away (but I will say one of the hairiest vaginas’ I’ve ever seen belonged to a japanese girl) But what is it really? I’m attracted to pretty much all races and I feel like they all have their upside. So why would someone pass up all those many flavors in exchange for an obsession over one type?
So, my theory?
While I think all the aforementioned examples do hold a little bit of truth, mostly, these dudes like to dominate smaller girls. Asian girls, for the most part, are short and petite. What better body type for a man to sew his egomaniacal oats all over. How’s that for honest?
This makes me think back to a disturbing conversation I once had with my brother-in-law. I was about 14 and very much a virgin. He was a brash , french , chain smoker in his early 40’s who was married to my sister. Somehow we got into a conversation about women. That’s when he dropped this jewel on me:
“Always date smaller girls…they’re easy to move around on…”
Now, my 14 year old virgin brain had no clue what the fuck he was talking about. And, more importantly, he was talking about fucking my sister (who happens to be 5’1”). I was about 85% horrified and 15% confused. Years later, when I was finally fucking on a regular basis, that quote popped back into my head. Know what? I agreed. At least at that point.
I think the fetishizing of asian women amongst certain men has a lot to do with that train of thought. More than any of those dudes would like to admit. As much as they might joke that “It’s cool cause they don’t talk back” or “She cooks me shit all the time and always smells great” , I think the domination angle fits in there somewhere. I suppose, at our core, men are very simple. Our needs are extremely simple. So, on paper, this stereotypical asian girl is perfect. We like food, quiet, sex and freedom. All these things can potentially be fulfilled by a cartoonish asian girl that doesn’t really exist. The reality of this stereotype is that , at least in america, it’s just that. A stereotype. I’m sure there are girls that the stereotype applies to perfectly but the same could be say for jewish girls or Puerto rican girls. I’ve dated both and they’ve all had aspects of the asian stereotype. So, It’s gotta be that , when it comes down to it, men just like to think they’re dominating their partner sexually. And what better for that than this:

The point I’m getting at is that anyone who fetishizes over one race to the point where they shut out all others, is either a person who only dates their own race (which is a whole other topic) or a creep with a weird chip on their shoulder. Every race has something to offer. Even a busted eskimo. (whale blubber ain’t cheap yall!)

Heads up NYC, I gotta show this week.

This is an interesting one. It’s at the Natural History Museum this Friday. I’ve never gone to one of these show/parties but I’ve a heard good things. Also, I’m opening for Shabazz Palaces AKA Ish AKA Butterfly from Digable Planet. I’ve written him up on this blog before and I’m really psyched to see him live. In case you missed it, here are some clips of his new shit:

Anyway, I’ve been told I go on around 10. I’m playing for an hour. Come out. If you saw me play in NYC earlier this year, I’m not gonna lie, it’s a similar set. But if you missed it, this might be a good one to check out.

Song of the day 10/10/10

I don’t want to have to wait By James and Bobby Purify

This is a slow jam that popped up on my Ipod the other day. I dunno where it came from (Funky16corners would be a good guess) but it’s dope. I could be wrong but I think these two might have been responsible for one of the first versions of the classic song “I’m your puppet”.
Also, today is 10/10/10…That’s means something , right? There must be some weed related holiday or maybe so “end of days” type shit happening today. Lemme know which one it is so I can plan accordingly.