Things that are wrong with the world Part 14

I don’t even know where to start with this one.

Listen, we all know the “pull out” method is not only 100% safe, but it’s also what any good doctor recommends as the highest tier in birth control methods. This is a scientific fact , much like the earth being flat and that Jesus appears in taco shells to let you know “Sup dude, i’m coming back…sometimes sooooon!.” However, sometimes god plants little miracles regardless of science and people actually get pregnant from this seemingly fool-proof method of contraception. It’s times like this when one might be pushed to say “Don’t cum in me”. Hell, they might even make a song about it. That man is the delightfully original rapper “Young Ray”. (I give him originality props simply for spelling ”Young” Right).
Here, Ray crafts and thrilling tale of the girl who he came in , even though she asked him not to, but still kinda wanted him to. Riveting shit.

Ok, now in all seriousness, how fucking dumb do you have to be to simply not pull out? We’ve all had unprotected sex with some girl who’s not on the pill (right?). It’s the first thing you do (after fucking). Hell, I’ve dated girls who were on the pill who I never came inside simply cause you can enver be to safe. Herpes may be forever but babies cost a lot more. The funny thing is that , considering the pull out method is fairly risky even when you do pull out (pre-cum Yall!), the added smugness of simply not giving a fuck and dropping that load in the girl is like a slap in the face…to her ovaries…with jizz.

I have a friend who was telling me about how he was fucking some girl and just “forgot” to pull out. He also thinks his sperm is rotten so he doesn’t really worry about knocking girls up. But “forgetting”? I don’t care how hot and intense the sex is, the whole “I’m gonna bust a nut!” should immediately trigger a follow up thought of “where is this nut gonna go?”. The answer should be a resounding “Not in her vagina”. Trust me, she’ll appreciate it. not only cause, you know, it lessens the chances of her getting preggo and possibly having an unwanted baby/abortion BUT it also will make the clean up a lot easier. Any girl will tell you a quick wipe off with a tissue is much nicer than that awkward “I’m leakin’!” walk they take to the bathroom while trying to avoid the load slithering down their legs.

So, if you’re young and reading this, wear a condom. Or , if you hate condoms and feel invincible, fuck a girl on the Pill. But, don’t ever bust a nut in a girl when you don’t have to. That’s just being an idiot for the sake of being an idiot.

22 thoughts on “Things that are wrong with the world Part 14

  1. This is the funniest shit I’ve read in a while (Pre-cum Y’all!! Catchphrase of 2010). You forgot to mention the fact that squeezing off a round on a female is up there with the moon landings and the invention of the printing press as one of mankind’s greatest achievements.

    Not to say anything more than you need to know about me, but one time I pulled out and from the girl’s waistline, got one up into her eye socket. She promptly had to go home and change her contacts, meanwhile I was just happy to see her go so I could die laughing.

  2. In my younger days, I accidentally “forgot” to pull out a few times myself. Nowadays, I need to focus all my concentration to ejaculate at all.

  3. My son is a living example that pulling out is not effective birth control. And that bitches sometimes lie when they say “Don’t worry, my doctor says I can’t get pregnant”.

    On another note, I wonder if that chick in the song would have protested that nut if Young Ray had hit the bottom of the pussy hole.

  4. is it weird that i have a 100% no baby success rate with the pull out method for the past decade? do my dudes not swim right or something?

  5. I asked my mom once why they had me so young. Apparently my dad failed on this whole pullout technique. Learned two things that day: pullout method is flawed, and never ask questions you don’t want to heat the answer to.

  6. Lol, this song has to have the greatest hook of all time.

    And I kept waiting to see Young Jeezy hearing all those “ayyyyyyyyyeeeeeee”s

  7. You’d have to be a borderline rapist to cum in a chick after she EXPRESSLY requested that you not. I would say there should be a law about that, but there would be SO much potential for abuse. Every accidental pregnancy, “I TOLD him to pull the hell out!”

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