Answers for questions vol. 5



A foot and a half of fucking snow here in NYC. It feels like it’s on the verge of becoming a “Road Warrior” situation but you replace the need for gasoline with hot cocoa. So, as i’m in my crib trying to stay warm, allow me to answer a few more of these questions.
As usual, if you got more questions you wanna ask, leave them in the comments or email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com. The less music based, the better.

– worst rap names (mcs of groups)
Naming yourself as a rapper is no easy task Back when I started, self depreciating names were all the rage (thus , Blockhead). I always found the best names were ones that played off your actual name or ones that actually related to the person in some way. To me, the worst rap names are usually owned by corny underground rappers who haven’t found their identity yet. Because of this lack of identity, it’s hard to come up with a good name. This leads to people just taking random words that sounds either “deep” or , even worse, “cool”. The amount of rappers out there probably names something like “Wizdom the rhyme chief” or “Syllable” is pretty depressing. Now , I’m not gonna go and call out people for their shitty names but you get the idea. Also, obviously anyone still calling themselves “Young/Yung” anything is a fucking idiot as well as “Lil” anything.

– thoughts on the muffin top look
Is this where the girl has fat pouring over the sides of her jeans? Yeah, not a fan. Is there a fetish for this kinda stuff? Probably. I think this trend has waned a bit cause those lo-rise jeans are no longer in fashion (Which, by the way, is a fucking travesty).

– thoughts on the whale boning look (on ladies, of course, dude thongs are rough)

again, not 100% on this one but if it’s this let’s discuss it.
Now, I know this look horrifies any girl out there with self respect. I get that. It’s flagrant and it shows a certain level of whorishness that is unbecoming in public. That said, much like the popularity of low rise jeans, you don’t see this much any more. And, much like those low rise jeans, I used to love this look. Something about it…hmm…perhaps it was how completely slutty and awesome it was? Granted, no one is trying to marry the girl rocking that style but EVERYONE is trying to fuck her. So, if you’re a girl and that’s your M.O. , get yours.
I’ve always felt a deep connection to that look cause of this video:

I was obsessed with this video in high school cause of those few scenes where singer/rapper extraordinaire Smooth was rocking her bathing suit and low riding jean shorts and you could see the sides of her hips peaking out. Something about the inch of flesh being exposed set my 15 year old mind ablaze. So, imagine my joy when that style came back in the form of thongs. Granted, if my unborn hypothetical daughter ever wears some shit like that, I’ll kill her and all her whore friends.

– why do people outside of NY think most people from NY are total assholes – and is this true for those inside NY (i am out west, so can’t comment)… don’t think its jealousy though
Well, there are a few answers. Some new Yorkers are assholes. I know , from first hand experience, that my NYC superiority complex is not the most loved personality trait. But outside of that, I think there’s just this stereotype that New Yorkers act a certain way. The same way people expect New Yorkers to have an accent. Every time I tell someone from out of NY (particularly, out west and down south) that I’m from here, they immediately say “well, you don’t have an accent!”. I then tell them the majority of the people who have a “New York , ehhh fuggetaboutit accent” either live deep in the outer boroughs , long island or even jersey. Kinda the same way people who actually live in Boston don’t tend to sound like southie retards. Anyway,I think there’s an assumption that people here are rude cause that’s how we’re portrayed. The truth is, people in NY are fairly polite. Sure, there are some assholes in there but that applies to anywhere. The one truth is that most Nyers do move fast and would rather keep to themselves. I could see how that comes off as rude but it’s more just a way to get by when there are millions of people coming at you all day.

– worst accent in the US? i grew up outside of boston, so i’ll throw that beauty into the mix
For a dude, it’s definitely the thick Massachusetts accent. That shit is so terrible. I’ve certainly met cool people who posses it but they are few and far in between. Maybe it’s the new yorker in me, but I hear that shit and my skin crawls.
For girls, the thick midwestern accent is a rough one. Like the heavy Minnesota/Fargo sounding accent. While it is possible to pull it off if the girl is cute enough, it’s not helping anyone make a case for themselves as a person who isn’t an idiot. I’d be hard pressed to find a more offensive person that an obese girl from South Dakota, smoking and eating a friend twinkie while talking about whatever local college football team she loves in that accent. To me, that’s worse than a terrorist.

– graffiti – cool or not so cool?
I’ve never given a shit about graf. Maybe cause I was never good at it though. The thing is, some graf is really cool but most of it sucks. I think that can be applied to pretty much every kind of art though. As I’ve written before, I’m just not that big a fan of “art” in general. I think some of it is great but my appreciation skills leave much to be desired. All i know is that, growing up, the majority of beef I caught was due to graffiti and mistaken identity. That certainly left a bad taste in my mouth.
On a “cool story bro” side note, when I was in high school, I was bored. Obviously. So, I started tagging “Ol’e” on the desks. I thought the idea of throwing an apostrophe in a tag was funny and I had no intention of taking that tag anywhere outside of those classroom desks. A few weeks passed and some dude in a grade above me stopped in the hall, “Yo, you write ol’e?” I kinda laughed and was like “uh..kinda”. He informed me that he wrote “OLI” and that I had to stop writing Ol’e. Okaaaaaaaaay , guy. Needless to say, I stopped cause, why the fuck not? But shit like that is a good example of how lame graffiti can be when done by toys.

– Biz Markie – awesome or wack?
Come on dude…

Very awesome.

– lesbian porn – hot or not?
I can appreciate two naked girls. Obviously. But if we’re talking things I jerk off to, no way. I can’t get into Lesbian porn the same way I can’t get into gang bang porn. I simply can’t inject myself into that situation. I’ve never been one of those dudes who hems and haws at the sight of two drunk girls with low self esteem making out at the bar. So, take that to the highest degree, and you have lesbian porn. As much as I appreciate the female form it’s just not enough. I need fucking. Real fucking. Not scissoring , cunnilingus or fingering. In porn especially, how a scene ends it crucial. With a male/female scene, it’s clear. Load to the face/ass/tits. With lesbian scenes, it just seems like two girls wrestling for 10 minutes and then they stop. Sure, they might “cum”, but how do I really know? Not to mention, the post coital cuddle at the end of most lesbian scenes is just corny to me. In order for a porn to work for me, there has to be a penis involved. I realize this is ironic as, in real life sex, for sex to work, I’m on some highlander shit…there can only be one…penis. And that penis is mine.

13 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 5

  1. for the record, this was my question – and i love Biz… he was one of the first rappers i got into back in the day.

    that said, i know more than a few folks who think he’s kind of a retard – probably based on his off key singing (‘just a friend’, perhaps). i don’t think they mean it in a dick way – sort of like he’s messed up, but in a way that makes him creative etc…

    i don’t know – was just curious on your take. same could be asked of the likes of kool keith, del (who i have read talks to himself a LOT), ODB – they’re all a little off, but they are amazing artists.

  2. Topic: I’d like to know those times when you were wrong. Maybe you couldn’t admit it at the time, but now, looking back, can you admit to having horribly misjudged something, boldly defended some retarded opinion, or just got your facts totally jacked up? Do you want to run with that?

  3. “Kinda the same way people who actually live in Boston don’t tend to sound like southie retards.”

    “For a dude, it’s definitely the thick Massachusetts accent. That shit is so terrible. I’ve certainly met cool people who posses it but they are few and far in between.”

    Thank you for saying that.. As a female who resides in MA, I get great laughs at the townies who talk like that. I have a bit of an accent myself, but I don’t sound like a townie, and people in NYC were surprised when I told them I’m from Boston. Also, it’s weird but people in NYC were way nicer and polite to me than here in Boston. This lady gave up her seat on the MTA so my guy could sit, and he’s not even like disabled or anything. They walk fast, but that’s not really rude.


    Are there any TV shows you watch that aren’t shit? Where can I get a good slice of pizza in NY? How about Chinese food?

  4. day late, dollar short…I’m going to comment on what I know, Lesbian Porn…for the most part I agree with you, not so hot, but there are some very special ladies out there that have a specific talent…I am typing of “Squirting”….Lesbian Porn that involves said talent is very HOT to me…that of course is just me….carpet munching that leads to a face full of “gush” and cameras shorting out in the middle of a scene is just all to classic…and because I can’t help it, the term “scissoring” always brings to mind Mr./ Mrs. Garrison in the episode of South Park entitled “D-Yikes”…and I’m out

  5. yo. i have a question if you’d be so kind to include it in your next post.
    what are you thoughts about ripping rare and hard to find vinyl and posting it to the internet? i always thought it was in a separate category from just downloading music because the part where you might never be able to hear it if someone doesn’t put it on the internet. just a thought…

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