The term “Real talk” gets thrown around a lot these days. It can mean a variety of things, ranging from telling a fat person they are , in fact, fat to a crony person explaining what kind of jeans they prefer all the way to someone spilling the beans they they cheated on you with your mother.
While it seems like an earnest way to go about your business , there are definitely dangers to conducting “real talk” under certain circumstances. One that recently came up with a friend of mine was that she was trying to figure out the status of some dude she had recently slept with. She was enjoying their booty call relationship but he was acting aloof and weird mixed in with showing general interest at the right time (AKA Girl CRACK). It seemed like the typical confusion bought on by casual sex amongst drunk single people. Something I’m certainly familiar with. After a hook up , there’s always that “what’s the next move?” moment where , i think , both the male and female are deciding how far they wanna take this. Unfortunately, the person with the shorter term plans always seems to win this battle.
Anyway, she was considering asking a female friend of the guy about him but I said that would be a bad move as “girl code” doesn’t really exist and the dude would hear about it within minutes. Not to mention, girls should never listen to other girls about anything involving men and how they may or may not feel about you. You might as well ask a new born penguin how to not get eaten by a sea lion.
So, I told her to just bite the bullet and drop some real talk on that motherfucker. Meaning, just straight up ask him what his deal is. Now, here’s where the problem arises. This tactic is very risky if your feelings are at stake. If she were to do this and he was to give the typical “Woah! slow down!” response , that i’d say most men do, she’s out of a sex partner. But, if she doesn’t get to the bottom of it, it could drag out for months and only get worse. Why agonize over anything like this if you don’t have to? I’ve had various long term booty call relationships end with imposed “real talk” and it’s never pretty…but , in hindsight, always necessary.
Sometimes, the biggest problem with “real talk” is the reality of it. Hearing some shit you’re not ready to accept. But, in it’s essence, that’s what “real talk” is. Unfortunately, it’s gotten transformed into this way of blathering for self important people or people desperately trying to pry information from another person who probably doesn’t even wanna be in the conversation. Other times it’s just people being rude/cruel to one another under the guise of honesty. Sure, it makes a point but often the people speaking the real talk tend to be morons. Pretty much, anytime a person prefaces a statement with “real talk…” prepare to roll your eyes. In reality, it should just be straight talk with no sugar coating. The world could use more of that. Good luck with that shit, though…
To be honest, I’ve found that little good comes out of actual real talk, although it’s often needed. Especially when that “real talk” revolves around dating or relationships. The truth is , having to conduct real talk in those situations means one person is forcing the other to divulge honest feelings. It’s an emotional exorcism that the second party is rarely in the mood to have. In most cases, if something needed to be said, it would have been said already. BUT, if you’re dealing with some shady bullshit involving a guy/girl and have no patience to “see how it turns out” , say “fuck it” and go all in on the real talk. Sure, it’ll very likely end whatever relationship you had going there but at least you won’t be sitting around guessing about it. Real talk, yo.