Answers to questions Vol. 7

This batch is more straight to the point. Kinda like a quick fire round.
I’m still open to more. Ask me about anything. Give me a topic to talk about. I’ll answer it the best I can. Leave questions here in the comments or email me at

What do you take in your coffee?
Nothing. I don’t drink Coffee. Unfortunately for me, I have a sensitive body when it comes to stimulants. The few times I’ve drank coffee, I was flying off the walls and I did not like how it felt. When I did drink it though, I took it with tons of cream and tons of sugar. To me, black coffee tastes like dirt water and I seriously cannot wrap my hear around why anyone likes the taste. I get it’s purpose, but not it’s desirability. It’s as about appealing as gin shots to me.

If you could take a trip anyhwere in the world, if money and schedule weren’t an object, where would you go?
Hmmm. I kinda hate traveling. To be honest, there’s really no place I’m DYING to go to. I’ve been a shitload of places and , while some were really awesome, none of them really had a profound effect on my life. That said, I’d like to check out Spain. Barcelona sounds awesome. As I may have mentioned before, nowadays, my enjoyment of a place revolves 100% around the food I eat. It would seem that Spain might be up my alley. At the same time, if i were to go to somewhere like St. louis and eat an incredible meal, rest assured , the next day I’d be telling you how dope St. Louis was. So, really, my opinion on shit like this is pretty worthless.

What does it mean when a grown man quotes Oprah for inspirational purposes?

It means a lot. It means he’s a man who’s in touch with his sensitive side. It means he’s not afraid to let the world know how he feels. It also means he and I could never be friends.

How useless is the penny?
I’d say it’s more useful as a murder weapon than it is a currency.

Do you move your mouth when you cut with scissors?
I don’t think so. Is that really a thing people do? No way. That’s retarded.

What do you think will happen in 2012?
A bunch of forgotten famous people will die and people will pretend to be devastated.
Music will become obsolete and all musicians will focus strictly on ringtones
A ton of birds and fish will die and it would mean anything. We got tons of birds and fish in the world. We’re good.
Many of your favorite celebrity couples will have shocking break ups , only to rebound onto another famous person, whom they will also break up with.
AIDS will be cured for rich white people.
Weed will become legal in california but cigarette’s will be banned from any coastal city in the USA.

Do you like to smell your own farts?
LOVE them. Sometimes I like to marvel at them. Other times I wonder how my body could produce a smell so rancid. It’s not like I eat THAT poorly yet they can smell like buring tires being cooked in a wok , covered in vegemite.

Do you eat breakfast?
Not really. I mean, I consider my “first meal” a day lunch but occasionally, it will include eggs.
It’s part of the lifestyle of people who never need to wake up early.

What’s your favorite cereal?
When i was a kid, my mom was one of those parents that never allowed super sweet cereals in the house. Golden grahams and “Life” were the best we’d get. Every now and then I’d trick her into buying those mini-variety packs that were half healthy and half crap. Eating “frosted flakes” blew my mind. I haven’t had cereal in a long time but , ironically, when I crave it, I would rather have Golden Grahams or Life. Goddamnit.

Are you good at card games?
I used to be amazing at this game “21” in grade school but it was like a slightly athletic card game. I’m okay at poker and I love blackjack but, other than those, I don’t really fuck with cards.

Are you handy around the house?
HAHAHAHA!. No. If it’s beyond changing a lightbulb or lifting some heavy shit, I’m worthless. When my girl moved in last year, she painted the place and even did some plaster work. I sat and watched like a smug , lazy asshole.

What is your drink of choice?
For getting drunk? Vodka and soda with a lime. The type of vodka doesn’t matter to me as long as it’s Smirnoff or better. All that shit tastes the same to me.
For not getting drunk? Honest Tea green tea with honey or Gus soda cranberry and lime flavor.

On a scale of 1-10 how good of a dancer are you?
That’s a tough one. I have rhythm but I only know dances from the 90’s and I’m way too self conscious to ever really let myself go on a dance floor. At the same time, dudes letting themselves go on the dance floor are a rare breed. A breed I do not belong to.
That said, I’d say I’m about a 6 with a potential to be slightly better or worse than that on any given day. Also, the only time I dance is when I very drunk.

14 thoughts on “Answers to questions Vol. 7

  1. Aesop seems to really dig the coffee…would he ever grab you a cup and force you to drink it? And just the other day my girl caught me enjoying one of my own farts…here is how the converstion broke down

    we were laying in bed…

    Girl – Did you just dutch oven yourself??
    Me – No i like to refer to it as a covered wagon…cause doesnt everyone love their own brew?
    Girl – Your gross….

    At this point I lifted the blankets and fanned it her way…what a gentleman I am

  2. Finally, someone else that doesn’t drink coffee! Sure it may smell inviting but i have never had a sip of coffee in my life and thought, “this shit is so great , I want to be judged on a coolness scale depending on what and where i drink it.” Shit is gross.

    Cheers to the occasional Golden Grahams and Vodka.

  3. Definitely have to go to Barcelona. After studying abroad there, I wish I knew Spanish so I could go live there. Food is awesome, for sure.

  4. I agree, fuck coffee.

    What’s with the weird baby/doll with the walmart pose? Can’t figure out how it fits into this post, haha.

  5. I have a question about Jay-Z’s hit song featuring Alicia Keys “New York”
    I know the song is a few years old, but I heard it playing in the background at the warm up of the Maryland/Duke game and was reminded. I think it is such a lazy effort by Jay-Z, the flow is bad, the lyrics are shit I feel like he wrote to satisfy a contractural obligation, and Alicia Keys’ voice makes me want to punch myself in the head. Feels like he phoned it in. Am I crazy, and just putting waaay to much thought into a Jay-Z song?

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