My favorite tweeters



Since I went to the dark side and joined Twitter, it’s safe to say I’ve embraced it. I knew I would but I had hoped some of that anti-twitter integrity I had prior to joining would stick around. No such luck. I now except my spinelessness and can live with it. Btw, follow me! @blockheadnyc! Moving on…
so, Twitter is definitely fun. I’ve learned a few things in the short time I’ve been involved with it.
For instance:

-Never follow 95% of you favorite rappers. Not only are they extremely boring but the majority of their tweets are just retweets of worthless shit other people said about them. However, there are exceptions and I will get to them.
I’ve also Noticed many of my favorite rappers just post corny spiritual/life advice shit that makes me like them less so I opted to unfollow a lot of them. If you’re not funny on twitter, I don’t care what you have to say. I’m not saying they aways have to be funny but if every tweet is some played out word of wisdom , I’ll pass.

-Following porn stars is hit or miss. On one hand, some of them are actually surprisingly funny. Some also post tons of naked pics. Both are plusses in my book. Some truly go for it and embrace the filth. I like that as well. On the other hand , some do the same thing the rappers do with the retweets. Even worse though are the porn stars who tweet about some stupid self help book they’re reading or how yoga class went. If I wanted to read that shit I’d hang out where wheat grass is sold and shoot the shit with whoever came near me. I won’t even get into the ironic aspect of those types of tweets cause that’s a whole other story.

-When you’re actually friends with people and follow them, it’s kinda hard to unfollow them. I have some friends and music aquaintences who I think are just really bad at twitter. I don’t doubt some of them think the same about me. Because we’re cool, I keep following them but , in reality, they clog up my timeline with all sorts of pointless shit ranging from constant updates of what they’re eating to manic breakdowns that aren’t entertaining in anyway. Sure, I could unfollow them but you’d be shocked how closely some people monitor their followers. Motherfuckers take attendance and shit. So, instead, I just suck it up and try to ignore them.

Anyway, I’m not one those people who messes with that “follow fridays” shit but I figured I’d spotlight a few of my favorite people to follow on twitter:

@fatjew
This is my boy Fat Jew from Team Facelift and he pretty much only tweets jokes. He’s almost always funny and never overbearing with the amount he tweets. He’s also got like 52,000 followers so my 2,000 follower having ass isn’t helping him much by promoting him. But, rest assured, he’s good.

Random examples:

Bought a pair of USED pants on ebay with a thong sewn in and wore them without washing. That’s gangster. Would a blood or crip do that? 1:06 PM Feb 14th via web

“You know a girl is too young for you if you have to make the airplane noise just to get your cock in her mouth” -Jimmy Carr 1:36 PM Feb 11th via web

I wouldn’t be scared to fight a bear that was on fire but when I get a call on my cell from an unknown number i am legitimately terrified 1:33 PM Feb 11th via web

Based on his use of the word “collaborate” in that one song, I’m not sure Vanilla Ice knows what it means. @kory_4d 6:02 PM Feb 7th via web

@gavin_mcginnes
This is one of the founders of vice magazine and the original voice of the “do’s and don’t” section. While there has been a just backlash at Vice over the years, it was never this dudes fault. He’s fucking hilarious. He also will post really entertaining articles so that’s a bonus as well.

Random Examples:

Women in headscarves screaming for freedom is like fucking for virginity. #Egypt
6:16 PM Feb 11th via Twittelator

Can’t believe Led Zeppelin got away with this picture of an old man being mounted by a thousand giant faggots. http://yfrog.com/gznd2klkj

British people are so obsessed with racism, they think it’s racist to point out other races being racist.
12:03 PM Feb 1st via TweetDeck

@intuitionraps
Intuition is a rapper buddy of mine from L.A. , by way of Alaska. While he could easily be one of those annoying self promotional tweeters, he slips in enough good stuff to keep it interesting.

Random Examples:

Just saw a guy with a dreadlock mullet. Business in the front, phish show in the back.
1:54 AM Feb 10th via HTC Peep

i hate it when bums choose MY window to piss under…but i still feel like it’s rude to interrupt.
1:38 AM Feb 9th via web

i keep wanting to delete my myspace page, but it’s like the ex girl you don’t want to delete from your phone cuz she might send nudes still.
1:14 AM Feb 8th via web

@po_lite
“Po” is an old friend of mine and one of the funniest women I’ve ever met. The cool thing about her twitter is that she’s not much different in real life. I appreciate that.

Random Examples:

Bruce transjenner
11:21 PM Feb 9th via Twitter for iPhone

I’m waiting for the bus right now among many mexicans. They all know I left my money at home.
1:19 AM Feb 7th via Twitter for iPhone

Thought my cabbie was takin me to his rape spot last night but instead he just played Maxwell and tried to get me to go to a bar with him
9:22 AM Jan 31st via Twitter for iPhone

@jzonedon\'ttweet
J-Zone is an awesome producer, fan of incredible ignorant rap and a very entertaining writer. He takes those three things and makes his twitter fantastic. He definitely speaks the older rap nerd in me.

Random examples:

Local store decorated in all red with “Wheres Cupid?” in the window. As many baby mamas they got over here? Fuck Cupid, wheres daddy?
4:35 PM Feb 13th via web

And of course the greatest rap album ever made dropped in ’91…Tim Dog Penicillin on Wax. I’ll take that statement to the grave!
8:54 AM Feb 11th via web from Jamaica, New York

#FamousLies “I used to be freaky, but those days are over.” Whatever. In English that means you just need a lil more Hennessy these days

@anthonyjeselnik
He’s a fucked up comedian who rarely tweets, but when he does, it’s always good. I’m a big fan of his work and kinda wish he’d step up his twitter productivity.

Random examples:

When I was little, I would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But now that I’m older, I’m more of a cat guy.
3:14 PM Dec 28th, 2010 via web

I’ve spent two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer. But no one will do it.
7:01 PM Dec 10th, 2010 via web

I describe myself to people as a “history buff.” It just sounds better than “Holocaust buff.”
12:20 PM Nov 7th, 2010 via

@ghostfacekillah
I’d imagine anyone reading this who’s on twitter already follows Ghostface. The dude is legendary. It’s not all the time, but when he gets on a topic and manically goes off, it’s something to behold. On valentine’s day, he went all in…

Read from the bottom up…

Thats why a lot of girls like girls cause they know what girls like. Nah mean, you gotta know how to do that shit right b. 2:32 PM Feb 14th via web

But you gotta eat her pussy tho, nahmean. Don’t suck the shit too hard nahmean they don’t like that. 2:32 PM Feb 14th via web

and for those of y’all that don’t eat no pussy, you might gotta eat her pussy. You feel me! You eat her pussy, thats even a extra 100 points 2:30 PM Feb 14th via web

But don’t make love to her without the MUSIC on! You gotta put that SLOW shit on and you fuck her reaaal slow. 2:26 PM Feb 14th via web

That’s the best shit. Making your girl happy man. Then after that, you know what it is! You gon’ go in there and you gon’ make love to her.

@sirjarlsberg

This is my man Jeremy Gibson, AKA Sir Jarlsberg. I’ve posted a bunch of his shit on this blog. He’s a rapping and singing olde timey knight kinda guy. Its hard to explain..but it’s soooooo good.

Random examples:

When birds flock together, I gather their feathers. And glue them together to make a great duster. Tis useful and wonderful like numerals.
2:36 PM Jan 3rd via Twitter for BlackBerry®

It twill be quite challenging to catch a snow quail on this day for there are numerous fluffy hwhite burrowing canals. Hence no quail eggs
11:23 AM Dec 27th, 2010 via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Once a hideous Ogar gave thee a decease sparrow and told thee to place it with in thy rear. I cried “NEVER!”and ran to the hills quickly
6:57 PM Dec 22nd, 2010 via Twitter for BlackBerry

@mason_mooreXXX
Mason moore is a fuuuuucked up pornstar. At elast, that’s what her twitter would have me believe. Unlike the others I’ve listed above, following her is more of a spectacle than entertainment. She’s certainly entertaining but, man, it can get grim sometimes. But you gotta look…

Random Examples:

I’m pretty sure if I was on heroin again I’d weigh a lot less. I’m waaay prettier and skinner when I’m partying. That’s how you’ll know
3:43 AM Feb 12th via ÜberTwitter

Seriously. Some of my tweets are bullshit but I’m totally being real right now. I went to the dentist drunk and with dried cum on my neck
3:31 AM Feb 12th via ÜberTwitter

Even though I hate the superbowl that does not mean I wouldn’t fake it and act like I love it just to bang some football players. Just sayin
12:27 PM Feb 6th via ÜberTwitter

Honorable mentions also go out to
@wool_life
My artist homeboy and fellow knick fan who brings the funny.

@mrskimyadawson
Singer and all around awesome person. She somehow manages to be positive, funny and entertaining all at once.

@kristinarosexxx
She’s a good time and posts tons of pics for all you jerking off perverts out there. She also retweets me so, technically, you could unfollow me and follow her and still get my twitter highlights.

@jesus_m_christ
One of my favorite fake accounts. OR IS IT FAKE?!?!?!

@whitegirlproblems
Whoever this is really nails it. White girls…the worst.

@sportsguys33

this is sports writer Bill simmons. He’s very funny and posts all sorts of good videos and links as well.

@xavadevinex

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a moment of her porn work but she’s as filthy as it gets. So much, that it’s actually comical. That said, I’m terrified of her.

17 thoughts on “My favorite tweeters

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Phat Friend: My favorite tweeters -- Topsy.com

  2. And of course the greatest rap album ever made dropped in ’91…Tim Dog Penicillin on Wax. I’ll take that statement to the grave!
    8:54 AM Feb 11th via web from Jamaica, New York

    Wow, it sucks when you find out someone you admire is an idiot.
    RIP J-Zone,

    39

  3. Quick story about J-Zone…. Loved his Bottle of Whup Ass EP when it dropped…..e-mailed him to inquire about a CD copy of his 1st EP ‘Music for Tu Madre’ which was only available on vinyl at the time… so he CD-r’s me a copy, hand writes the track list on the back, and meets me IN PERSON near my job in Queens to drop it off. This was obviously before he was known. But to this day he is still my motherfucker for that shit.

  4. Blockhead – I’m surprised you like Simmons (personally I think the guy is hilarious) seeing as he’s (1) from Boston and (2) a huge baseball nerd. But he’s also a huge basketball nerd and somewhat of a pop culture nerd and I guess you can get down with that…?

  5. Bree Olson is another FILTHY porn star. just FILTHY.

    Example:

    Mmmm tired. I wanna go to a hot sunny place and sleep on the beach then wake up to getting raped by a stranger on the beach. That’s my dream

    Any volunteers to impregnate me? I need lots of cum & will stay on my back so it won’t leak out as much. Just use me and leave me pregnant.

  6. ahh a couple of more gems from the goddess MASON_MOOREXXX

    Steve Holmes is my favorite guy to work with. Our scenes together are epic. We love each others buttholes

    I get to bone steve holmes on tuesday for my site. All anal. And I’m gonna lick his ass. MasonMooreXXX.com

    Gonna get dicked down two more time this AM before I have to fly home. Late check out, pack, enema, then ill be on my way. I’ve missed u LA

    what a pleasant human being

  7. ok.. i just peeped ava devine’s tweets.. just umm.. i guess.. ignore my previous mason moore post.. its so tame now.. god this woman is vile.. a complete fucking sex predator.. tremendous recommendation

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