Answers for questions Vol. 35



Send all new questions or misguided love advice to phatfriendblog@gmail.com OR leave them in the comments. As always, the stranger, the better.

Block- Your willingness to discuss your music making process/techniques has been enlightening and a relief to know that good shit doesn’t have to come from a mega studio with all of Rick Rubin’s gear. The question is: With all of the sampling that you do, how do you determine if they(samples) are in the right key? Is that a function in Ableton or do you just go by ear? Is that even important? What makes your style of music amazing is that all these elements from across the board can be arranged as one.

I’d say being able to recognize when something is in the right key is pretty much the cornerstone of making music. If you can’t do that or it’s a difficult, making music isn’t for you. That would be like if you were surgeon but couldn’t differentiate between a human body and an anteater.
Matching samples is a lot different than playing instruments though. I used to just match them by trial and error. This would mean I’d sit by my sampler for hours , going through records looking for that sounds that not only matches in key to the main sample, but that would also work with whatever speed the other sample was. This was a tedious process to say the least but after a while you learn some tricks and it becomes easier. However, because technology has progressed, people really don’t need to go through that any more. More programs have pitch shifting capabilities (Abelton certainly does) where you can just find the right key, type in the BPM’s and you’re set. It’s too easy if you ask me but I can’t front that it’s made a huge difference in how I make music.

Okay so lets say you have a woman over, who basically invited herself over, she does the “hey I’m near your place and don’t want to go home yet because its a drive and I’m not supposed to meet my friends at the bar for an hour.. what should I do?” So she comes over, you know she’s pretty crazy, but you play it cool. She has a nice body, say like an 8, intelligence, a 3, mental stability a 3, face a 4. When she comes over to the crib, where do you take it from there? (this already happened just curious as to how you would handle it, I no longer have anything to do with her, I also heard she got preggo a month before this meeting, and she got some abort pill or something, but not some plan b shit, like some legit abort).

Ha, well , I think I know how you handled it. Congrats ,dad!
As for me, I’m assuming this would be under the idea that I’d be single in this situation. IF not , that crazy bitch wouldn’t even get her call picked up. But, let’s pretend for a moment. If this did happen under those circumstances. Personally, it depends. If I’m just at home , watching tv sober, and some drunk crazy girl wants to come over, I’d probably not let it go down. When I’m in that mode, I’m just chilling and I don’t really have desires to be bothered by a girl like that, even if it means I might have regretful sex. If I’m drunk, eh…It could happen. But , the way you described her leads me to believe I’d avoid her entirely in the first place. Busted and crazy isn’t exactly my thing.

What if you are on a plane next to a BEAUTIFUL woman like RIDICULOUS, like Natalie Portman, or Mila Kunis, either works (had blackswan on the mind, ne way) and you’re chatting with her, all of a sudden, she rips a nasty, I mean like, memorably F-ing disgusting fart bro, she’s at the window you’re in the middle, she all of a sudden is like I gotta use the restroom, is clearly embarrassed, and gets up n puts that firey grime in your face trails past you to the restroom.. What do you say when she comes back?

I’d follow her to the bathroom and jerk off outside the door, bro!!! Nah…but really, what can you do? Just deal with it. She’s not embarrassed cause she just lost out a chance to fuck me , she’s embarrassed cause she just farted in public. Depending on our rapport, I’d joke about it or ignore it. Either way, it happens. Girls shit and fart. As much as I’d like to believe otherwise.

Have you ever considered trying to do commercials or movies as a regular thing? (I know you did that one commercial)

I wish it was that easy. Getting music in commercials pays the bills better than any album ever could. It’s just a matter of being chosen. Because I sample so much, it’s harder to place things due to people being scared of getting sued. But, in a perfect world, I could just land two songs in commercials a year and I’d be set.

These next questions are like the stalkers manual to being creepy and knowing way too much useless info about me.
What are some of your favorite:
Meals?

Chicken parm on a roll, A good sushi roll. and a billion other things.

Fruit?

Lately, dried mango. No clue why but it’s giving me horrific gas and I think my girl would appreciate if I stopped eating it.

Meat?

All of it.

Drink alcoholic/non-alcoholic?

Vodka and soda with lime is my go to. It’s light, gets me drunk and has no extra sugar in it that lends itself to a worse hangover.
as for non-alcoholic, Coconut water has been my shit lately. Also, Honest Tea’s green tea.
I’m on this truly fake health kick where I eat and drink certain healthy things all the time but still find time to eat like a bored midwestern shut in.

Soda?

GInger Ale. Not a big soda guy.

Sports drink?
Coconut water or just water…But I’ll fuck with some gatorade though.

Women hair color?
I think I prefer dark hair but I’m not picky with that.

Comparisons:
Cafe or bar?

Depends if I’m drinking. I don’t drink Coffee and have no interest in sitting in public reading or being on my computer so cafe’s are pretty much worthless to me. Bar wins.

Small or big venue?
I’m assuming you man to perform in…
Depends how big or how small. A nice packed 300-500 person venue is my favorite. But the Big venues always have better back stages and toilets, which I appreciate.

Beach or mountains?
My couch.

Mint or any other flavor toothpaste?
If your toothpaste isn’t mint flavored, you’re a total dipshit.

Floss or lil dentek piks?

I can’t front. I don’t floss that much. I brush all the time but I forget to floss. When I do have shit between my teeth, I’ll often use whatever’s nearby. One thing I often use , that grosses people out, is paper to pick my teeth. Like, slide a magazine page between there and get that gunk out. It works surprisingly well.

Collard shirt or T-shirt?

I only own t-shirts.

V-neck or Button up?
V-neck, if it’s a t-shirt. I don’t own many button ups and I don’t own a single V-neck that’s not a T-shirt.

Wife beat or none (as an undershirt)?
None. Though I would beat my wife in heartbeat for asking me to wear a wife beater.

Reggae or classic rock?
I’ll take old Reggae over Classic rock. I was never a big rock guy. But, that said, I hate new reggae waaaaaay more than I do any classic rock. Also, I’d take the Beatles over any reggae.

Electronic music or Heavy Metal?
Meh….neither. Metal is definitely cooler to me though. Wait, do I make electronic music? I’m confused. I’ll just assume you’re talking about techno and shit like that.

Peanut butter or Almond butter?
Peanut…But I haven’t had Almond before.

Do you enjoy collecting anything? Clothes? Figurines? Comics? DVDs? Coins? Stamps? Cards? anything else collectable?

I dunno why but I laughed out loud at this question. Figurines? hahahahahhaha….but, no. I don’t collect shit. I used to collect baseball cards and rap cassettes but that all ended when I realized collecting worthless shit that you don’t really ever use just takes up space and that’s a commodity in NYC apartments.

What’s the appeal in the sexual conquest of barely legal tail? You mentioned how 18 year olds are generally bad at sex, yet they’re coveted by men (see the howls of anticipation when nubile teen celebs approach 18). Is this due to the simple idea that they’re in their prime physically? Or is it something more primal than that–in the face of their virginal inexperience, there are less expectations as far as sexual gratification is concerned, and the guy is free to go hog wild? I’m really curious what your take on this phenomenon is.

GREAT question. seriously.
I have lots of thoughts on this. There are many different levels to why dudes want young girls,. One is, as you said, how they look physically. I mean, lets not front, they’re toned, their skin is softer, and nothing is drooping yet. That said , I think it goes deeper than just that into the male psyche. I think one of the main things that men love about them is the idea that they’re “Pure”. The idea that they’re getting to touch upon something that hasn’t been ruined by other people yet. The irony of this is that , nowadays, by the time a girl is 18, she’s most likely been through the sexual ringer. Kids today are fucking at a younger age and more “extreme” with their practices (well done, internet porn!).
I think a big part of it is the male ego. Men want to be the first to conquer. And I don’t mean this in a taking virginity kinda way. I mean, the want to be the guy who opens up all these sexual doors to the wide eyed sexual new comer. It’s 100% ego based and I’m willing to bet that plays into this greatly. To be the guy who “turned a girl out” is a big deal to lots of dudes. That said, no one “turns out” a virgin. I’ve never had sex with a virgin. I’ve never wanted to. It seems like no fun and just a lot of extra emotional bullshit to deal with for someone you’re very likely not that attached to.
You’ll sometimes hear dudes talk of virgins like a special prize. But I think that’s just talk. It’s a responsibility. The only thing about a virgin I could see as a huge plus is that you’re 100% sure she’s clean. Cause, the sex itself, is gonna be wack. It hurts her. It’s too tight. Blood. I dunno…doesn’t sound like a good time unless you’re a creep who enjoys inflicting pain on girls.
Much better than virgins are the girls who have had some experiences but none that were great. They’re past the point where it will hurt but not yet to the point where they really enjoy it. That’s when the male ego goes into overdrive and wants to devour.

Regardless, older dudes wanting the hot young girls will never end. We’re just wired to crave what we wanted back in high school. We simply don’t really change that much. I’d say the most important part of that is excepting you’re too old for that shit and moving on.

10 thoughts on “Answers for questions Vol. 35

  1. I’m a girl and the first time I met my boyfriend’s friends, I accidently farted in front of them. It just slipped out, I swear! It happens. My boyfriend ignored it and for that I am ever thankful.

    • HA! It’s really not that big of a deal. And , if it is, you’re dealing with some soft ass dudes. I got a friend (it’s a guy) who makes a point of farting in front of girls early on just to set a precedent. It’s kinda brilliant.

  2. heres the answer to all of these relationship questions: b yourself,if u must fart then fart, but whether or not u admit it was u is the true identifier of how scared u r of other peoples reactions. my boyfriend farted so loud in a restaurant and said it was me. i thought it was funny.

  3. if you don’t like flossing, you should invest in a water pick. its like a tiny pressure cleaner that shoots a stream of water between your teeth. its so much better than flossing because you don’t get that nasty smell on your fingers like when you floss. plus, you dont have to stick your dirty hands into your mouth.

    they sell them at CVS for like 30-40 and your dentist will be greatful that you ever got one.

  4. OH my goodness you had me rollin’ on soo many of these SON! YEAH! didn’t think you’d even respond to any of em cuz i kinda just threw a gang at you, I’ll think bout some gems before I ask next time tho, good work blizzock. Seemed as though u may have enjoyed goin’ with a few of those? word!

  5. Mint or any other flavor toothpaste?
    If your toothpaste isn’t mint flavored, you’re a total dipshit.

    This shit made me laugh so hard. It’s just so final, you know?

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