Corey Haim: Me, Myself and I.


I was listening to some podcast last night where they mentioned the existence of these videos. I was kinda disappointed with myself for completely missing the boat on there clips up until now.
Before you get all weepy that these clips involve a dead person, let’s never forget that Famous people die.
If you’re willing to laugh at or make fun of someone when they’re alive, I don’t see why that should end when die. Especially, concerning people who were complete strangers to you and famous.
So, yeah, this is a video Corey Haim made in the 80’s shortly after he was a huge star. I’d venture to guss this is right after his star flame began to flicker and he was trying to transition from “Likable dork” to “Cool guy sex symbol”. It’s safe to say he was doing some good drugs as well.
There are far too many great quotes in these clips but , please, take the time and enjoy them all. (Btw, the first part is the most boring so don’t be put off by that)

Part 1: Sporty Haim
My personal highlights:
1)His “Haimster” hockey Jersey.
2)What a total dickhead he is when he had a pair of ice skates on.
3)3:39
4)His smug description of how to play baseball well.
5) the final 3 seconds of blissful faux wiggardry.


Part 2: License to drive, bro.
My personal highlights:
1) Due to lack of obvious content on the subject, it’s basically just a video of him driving around like an asshole with the top down. Needs more “hair flapping in the wind” shots.
2) His pre-interview interview really gives a nice look into what a complete cock sucker we’re dealing with here.
3)5:26-5:5:31 could be the opening to a chickenhawk porn.
4)The size of the crew involved to make this piece of shit may be the funniest thing about it.
5)John Ritter being his hero. “Furly!”.
6)His music. So good. Even better when described by him.


Part 3: A man and his music/fashion
Personal highlights
1)Right off the bat, his taste in musical genres (that never existed ever)
2) His “inner Rhythm”.
3) The crew egging him on to make a fool of himself. It’s appreciated.
4)The blatant coke fueled self description at 4:45
5)His twist on Flava Flav’s “YEaaaaahhhh Boyeeee” into “Yeah boys”. Which adds nicely to the under aged gay porn vibe of the whole thing.
6) Of course, the description of his kissing style. Dolphins are involved.
7) The brutal irony of 8:35.


Part 4:The wrap up
My personal highlights:
1) The ode to his dead stuffed animal. Though, it explains a lot.
2) More cautionary tales told by a living (at that time) cautionary tale.
3)The story of what made him want to be an actor…which consists of some director whose name he doesn’t recall telling him he was good.

RIP to the gawd Haim, but don’t be mad that he’s just as unintentionally funny dead as you were alive.

Song of the day 5/18/11


White worst By Billy Woods

http://limelinx.com/files/0dfca4fd86d691fee99decaa1dc8c7ad

I’m pretty late to the game on this whole scene right here. So, I figure if I am, than there’s a good chance lots of you have never even heard of it. Billy Woods is a Brooklyn based rapper who was part of a group called Super Chron Flight Brothers. In the past two weeks, I started checking both Billy and SCFB out and, I gotta say, it was a bit overwhelming. It’s hard to really digest that much new music so I’ve been slowly making my way through it. It’s strange. It’s got an urgency to it. I like the direction the producers are going. Overall, it’s really dope. So, here’s a taste. I’d highly suggest you go on youtube and find some more songs to get a better idea of what this crew is doing. It’s some really interesting stuff that is as far from typical as it gets, nowadays.
If you can, peep the mixtape for which I took the picture above from. It’s a good entrance into the whole scene.

The player gets played…not really.


So, I was up last night watching TV and this movie came on called “Spread”. This abomination stars Ashton Kutcher as a Gigolo of sorts who gets by on his good looks and penis. Basically, He fucks old broads and, in return, they buy him shit and give him room and board. This is certainly not breaking any new ground in the cinematic landscape. In fact, the “Player gets played” genre has been quite prevalent in the rom-com genre over the last 20 years. Like everything filtered through hollywood, it’s bullshit and the ending always pans out with the former player both finding the love of his life and changing his ways. There is a reason movies like this get made and watched. It’s not cause they’re good but more cause, like a movie about dragons and princesses, they are a fantasy.

I think the Rom-Com has done more bad for the relationship ideals between men and women than people really realize. Not only do they create unrealistic expectations, they feed women bullshit that many of them are too willing to buy into.

In the case of movies like “Spread” , it’s the false hope that any girl can change any man. Now, on some levels men can be changed. We can certainly adapt. But on other levels, the song will always remain the same. We are simple and ritualistic in many ways. There’s only so much of that that can be moved around before we feel threatened.

The amount of girls I’ve seen take on men as projects is staggering. Trust me, on more than one occasion I’ve been that very project. Never in my life have I seen a girl turn a guy into something he’s not. Sure, i’ve seen dudes buckle after being sucked dry emotionally by over powering girlfriends , but those guys were not a problem to begin with. They were ripe for the reinventing. It’s the difficult guys. The ones who don’t give a fuck about being in a relationship. The ones who will fuck anyone simply cause they’re there and then go home to their girl and get head. The dudes have their own agenda. That agenda , unfortunately, does not include giving a fuck or sympathy.

The funny part is, eventually, almost all these dudes do settle down. but, best believe they are unchanged. Usually, these types decide to wind down when they’re either too lazy to chase ass anymore, too old or too fat. Don’t think for a second these types aren’t fucking hookers if given the chance. The desire to conquer (even if it’s for $) never leaves them.

Really, “the player” is a personality type. Much like a “hot head” or “hyper sensitive pussy”. These things are engrained. Sure, they all stem from somewhere else but if you’re a full grown adult who’s been living life in a certain way for that long, it’s not just a case of breaking a bad habit. It’s a case of re-wiring your brain via some Clockwork Orange set up involving video montages of puppies rolling in a pile of bunnies and crying ex girlfriends post miscarriage.

There really shouldn’t be such thing as a “project”, in terms of men. “Oh, but if I could just get him to change this one thing…he’d be perfect…”. unless you’re talking about wardrobe, give it up. Fixer-uppers are not the move.

In real life, these situations end in one of few ways.
1) Girls tries to change dude. Guy humors her. Girls gets false sense of comfort. Guy does what he wants regardless and eventually gets caught cheating. Girl has a spine about it. They break up. It’s a wrap.

2)Guy charms girl. She falls for it , hard. Guy abuses the girls love. Girl hangs on to this fantasy idea of change for as long as humanly possible while guy runs wild. They break up and get back together a shit load of times, all the while, guy is doing him. Eventually, the girl finally gives up on guy but, really, she’d probably still date him if given the chance at any point her life. She marries someone else, but ,against all common sense and reason, secretly still kinda loves the asshole.

3)Girl plays along with the whole “Player” thing and gives the guy his space. She deals with his indifference and his emotional availability being hit and miss. Thinking, by doing this, she’s not like other girls. Guy takes full advantage of this with a free conscience. Girl gets fed up and eventually freaks out on guy. Guy claims “this is what she signed up for”. Girl hates guy even though, he’s kinda right. It’s a wrap but, perhaps, they fuck drunkly sometime down the line.

4)Girl meets guy while he’s on a sexual tear but there’s something different about her. She’s special. Guy fights the feelings at first but eventually folds to his love for her. He dumps all his other girls and loses all desire to fuck other women. They get married and have kids and live a perfect life. Pig flies and the moon is discovered to be made of cheese. Jesus comes back to earth , wielding a fiery boner , with an unquenchable blood thirst and a nut busting vendetta. .

That’s it.
So, just know what you’re getting into ladies. If a dude is one of those guys, he’s one of those guys. You can have fun with him but don’t think you can turn a ho into a house wife…er…husband.

Next time: Can you turn a ho into a housewife?

Answers for questions Vol. 35


Send all new questions or misguided love advice to phatfriendblog@gmail.com OR leave them in the comments. As always, the stranger, the better.

Block- Your willingness to discuss your music making process/techniques has been enlightening and a relief to know that good shit doesn’t have to come from a mega studio with all of Rick Rubin’s gear. The question is: With all of the sampling that you do, how do you determine if they(samples) are in the right key? Is that a function in Ableton or do you just go by ear? Is that even important? What makes your style of music amazing is that all these elements from across the board can be arranged as one.

I’d say being able to recognize when something is in the right key is pretty much the cornerstone of making music. If you can’t do that or it’s a difficult, making music isn’t for you. That would be like if you were surgeon but couldn’t differentiate between a human body and an anteater.
Matching samples is a lot different than playing instruments though. I used to just match them by trial and error. This would mean I’d sit by my sampler for hours , going through records looking for that sounds that not only matches in key to the main sample, but that would also work with whatever speed the other sample was. This was a tedious process to say the least but after a while you learn some tricks and it becomes easier. However, because technology has progressed, people really don’t need to go through that any more. More programs have pitch shifting capabilities (Abelton certainly does) where you can just find the right key, type in the BPM’s and you’re set. It’s too easy if you ask me but I can’t front that it’s made a huge difference in how I make music.

Okay so lets say you have a woman over, who basically invited herself over, she does the “hey I’m near your place and don’t want to go home yet because its a drive and I’m not supposed to meet my friends at the bar for an hour.. what should I do?” So she comes over, you know she’s pretty crazy, but you play it cool. She has a nice body, say like an 8, intelligence, a 3, mental stability a 3, face a 4. When she comes over to the crib, where do you take it from there? (this already happened just curious as to how you would handle it, I no longer have anything to do with her, I also heard she got preggo a month before this meeting, and she got some abort pill or something, but not some plan b shit, like some legit abort).

Ha, well , I think I know how you handled it. Congrats ,dad!
As for me, I’m assuming this would be under the idea that I’d be single in this situation. IF not , that crazy bitch wouldn’t even get her call picked up. But, let’s pretend for a moment. If this did happen under those circumstances. Personally, it depends. If I’m just at home , watching tv sober, and some drunk crazy girl wants to come over, I’d probably not let it go down. When I’m in that mode, I’m just chilling and I don’t really have desires to be bothered by a girl like that, even if it means I might have regretful sex. If I’m drunk, eh…It could happen. But , the way you described her leads me to believe I’d avoid her entirely in the first place. Busted and crazy isn’t exactly my thing.

What if you are on a plane next to a BEAUTIFUL woman like RIDICULOUS, like Natalie Portman, or Mila Kunis, either works (had blackswan on the mind, ne way) and you’re chatting with her, all of a sudden, she rips a nasty, I mean like, memorably F-ing disgusting fart bro, she’s at the window you’re in the middle, she all of a sudden is like I gotta use the restroom, is clearly embarrassed, and gets up n puts that firey grime in your face trails past you to the restroom.. What do you say when she comes back?

I’d follow her to the bathroom and jerk off outside the door, bro!!! Nah…but really, what can you do? Just deal with it. She’s not embarrassed cause she just lost out a chance to fuck me , she’s embarrassed cause she just farted in public. Depending on our rapport, I’d joke about it or ignore it. Either way, it happens. Girls shit and fart. As much as I’d like to believe otherwise.

Have you ever considered trying to do commercials or movies as a regular thing? (I know you did that one commercial)

I wish it was that easy. Getting music in commercials pays the bills better than any album ever could. It’s just a matter of being chosen. Because I sample so much, it’s harder to place things due to people being scared of getting sued. But, in a perfect world, I could just land two songs in commercials a year and I’d be set.

These next questions are like the stalkers manual to being creepy and knowing way too much useless info about me.
What are some of your favorite:
Meals?

Chicken parm on a roll, A good sushi roll. and a billion other things.

Fruit?

Lately, dried mango. No clue why but it’s giving me horrific gas and I think my girl would appreciate if I stopped eating it.

Meat?

All of it.

Drink alcoholic/non-alcoholic?

Vodka and soda with lime is my go to. It’s light, gets me drunk and has no extra sugar in it that lends itself to a worse hangover.
as for non-alcoholic, Coconut water has been my shit lately. Also, Honest Tea’s green tea.
I’m on this truly fake health kick where I eat and drink certain healthy things all the time but still find time to eat like a bored midwestern shut in.

Soda?

GInger Ale. Not a big soda guy.

Sports drink?
Coconut water or just water…But I’ll fuck with some gatorade though.

Women hair color?
I think I prefer dark hair but I’m not picky with that.

Comparisons:
Cafe or bar?

Depends if I’m drinking. I don’t drink Coffee and have no interest in sitting in public reading or being on my computer so cafe’s are pretty much worthless to me. Bar wins.

Small or big venue?
I’m assuming you man to perform in…
Depends how big or how small. A nice packed 300-500 person venue is my favorite. But the Big venues always have better back stages and toilets, which I appreciate.

Beach or mountains?
My couch.

Mint or any other flavor toothpaste?
If your toothpaste isn’t mint flavored, you’re a total dipshit.

Floss or lil dentek piks?

I can’t front. I don’t floss that much. I brush all the time but I forget to floss. When I do have shit between my teeth, I’ll often use whatever’s nearby. One thing I often use , that grosses people out, is paper to pick my teeth. Like, slide a magazine page between there and get that gunk out. It works surprisingly well.

Collard shirt or T-shirt?

I only own t-shirts.

V-neck or Button up?
V-neck, if it’s a t-shirt. I don’t own many button ups and I don’t own a single V-neck that’s not a T-shirt.

Wife beat or none (as an undershirt)?
None. Though I would beat my wife in heartbeat for asking me to wear a wife beater.

Reggae or classic rock?
I’ll take old Reggae over Classic rock. I was never a big rock guy. But, that said, I hate new reggae waaaaaay more than I do any classic rock. Also, I’d take the Beatles over any reggae.

Electronic music or Heavy Metal?
Meh….neither. Metal is definitely cooler to me though. Wait, do I make electronic music? I’m confused. I’ll just assume you’re talking about techno and shit like that.

Peanut butter or Almond butter?
Peanut…But I haven’t had Almond before.

Do you enjoy collecting anything? Clothes? Figurines? Comics? DVDs? Coins? Stamps? Cards? anything else collectable?

I dunno why but I laughed out loud at this question. Figurines? hahahahahhaha….but, no. I don’t collect shit. I used to collect baseball cards and rap cassettes but that all ended when I realized collecting worthless shit that you don’t really ever use just takes up space and that’s a commodity in NYC apartments.

What’s the appeal in the sexual conquest of barely legal tail? You mentioned how 18 year olds are generally bad at sex, yet they’re coveted by men (see the howls of anticipation when nubile teen celebs approach 18). Is this due to the simple idea that they’re in their prime physically? Or is it something more primal than that–in the face of their virginal inexperience, there are less expectations as far as sexual gratification is concerned, and the guy is free to go hog wild? I’m really curious what your take on this phenomenon is.

GREAT question. seriously.
I have lots of thoughts on this. There are many different levels to why dudes want young girls,. One is, as you said, how they look physically. I mean, lets not front, they’re toned, their skin is softer, and nothing is drooping yet. That said , I think it goes deeper than just that into the male psyche. I think one of the main things that men love about them is the idea that they’re “Pure”. The idea that they’re getting to touch upon something that hasn’t been ruined by other people yet. The irony of this is that , nowadays, by the time a girl is 18, she’s most likely been through the sexual ringer. Kids today are fucking at a younger age and more “extreme” with their practices (well done, internet porn!).
I think a big part of it is the male ego. Men want to be the first to conquer. And I don’t mean this in a taking virginity kinda way. I mean, the want to be the guy who opens up all these sexual doors to the wide eyed sexual new comer. It’s 100% ego based and I’m willing to bet that plays into this greatly. To be the guy who “turned a girl out” is a big deal to lots of dudes. That said, no one “turns out” a virgin. I’ve never had sex with a virgin. I’ve never wanted to. It seems like no fun and just a lot of extra emotional bullshit to deal with for someone you’re very likely not that attached to.
You’ll sometimes hear dudes talk of virgins like a special prize. But I think that’s just talk. It’s a responsibility. The only thing about a virgin I could see as a huge plus is that you’re 100% sure she’s clean. Cause, the sex itself, is gonna be wack. It hurts her. It’s too tight. Blood. I dunno…doesn’t sound like a good time unless you’re a creep who enjoys inflicting pain on girls.
Much better than virgins are the girls who have had some experiences but none that were great. They’re past the point where it will hurt but not yet to the point where they really enjoy it. That’s when the male ego goes into overdrive and wants to devour.

Regardless, older dudes wanting the hot young girls will never end. We’re just wired to crave what we wanted back in high school. We simply don’t really change that much. I’d say the most important part of that is excepting you’re too old for that shit and moving on.

Ask Dr. Tony Vol. 2


As you may know, I love getting my Dr. Phil on. Not actually watching that crap but the “giving unwarranted advice to strangers” part. This past week I got a bunch of relationship questions for my “Answers for questions” section of this blog. I got so many, I figured it might be wise to separate them (if only for this week) into a section of their own. Yes, an advice column. Dear Abby, motherfuckers. SO, let’s see what help I can be. I should warn you all that I have no background in anything and this is all opinion based on nothing. I will say, I’ve been told I give good honest advice by many different people but I feel like thats about at reliable a referral as asking a homeless guy where the best sushi is.
Whatever, take the advice for what it is…FACTS!

(oh and if you got more of these or basic questions send them to my email Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below)

Scenario, I’ve chopped it up to a couple of my friends (male/female) but I’d like to have an unbiased opinion…

You have a friend, female friend, very close on a non sexual way.. You know she likes you and would like to date the fuck out of you, but you rather keep the friendship because youre just not that attracted to her, she lives with it. She has a younger sister that you do like, your friend knows you like her and shes not that cool with it, so you dont wanna fuck around that area because you know your friend will tear to smithereens. BUT one day you go out with the sister, you get drunk, you make out with her, you’re great with that happening but for some reason or another, it doesnt work out.. You keep it moving, you’re still cool with both of them.
Months later, you go out with your friend, you get drunk, you make out with her. You knew it was the worst of decitions because she is still kind of emmotionally interested and you´re not up for it. So after the making out day, you talk it out, notice the girl is totally attached but you still aren’t.. So you explain that and its kinda cool but she still has hopes.
Out of the blue, the sister starts getting in touch again, you chill with her often but as friends, and you start gettin attracted again…… What the fuck do you do?

Well, In a perfect world , you’d just fuck the sister with no cares in for your friends feelings. I mean you wouldn’t be the first guy to pull that shit. But, alas, we do not live in a perfect world. If you really do have strong “friendship feelings” (A claim i’m a tiny bit suspect of) for this girl than it’s best to ignore the advances of her little sister. Not only will it create rifts between you and your friend, but also the two sisters. For all we know, this could be some competitive power trip going on between the two of them. Avoid that shit. The last thing you wanna get involved with is some crazy inter-sister beef that’s probably been brewing since they were in diapers.
The real question here is Why did you ever make out with your friend? I get that you were drunk but I’m not buying that as an excuse for this. If you really had NO interest in her like that, you wouldn’t do it. Regardless of how drunk you are. Was it a pity make out? That part just seems strange to me. I’ve got plenty of homegirls who I would never make out with on my drunkest night simply cause my brain has been wired to not ever want to make out with them. I’m just saying. What’s that all about? And if you truly were that drunk and lost hold of what you were doing, a brief warning: Avoid gay bars. Some of those dudes are crafty and they will seduce a dude that has no control over himself. I look forward to that follow up letter.

i’m finding myself in a usuall dilemma i guess and i want to hear an advice from an obviosly proficient person. i am a german so excuse me for my lack of english.

Since a couple of weeks i’m dating a pretty and quite intelligent girl. We are not really on the same “thinking basis”, yet there is no problem to communicate. we don’t find ourselves in unpleasent situations and i really like to make out with her. yet i always got a feeling that she is not really a girl i want to be in a relationship with, i’m not really in love i guess. we live in the same town.

on the other side i met a girl in amsterdam a while ago. we just met one night at a birthday party, talked and had fun, nothing really special. Since then we chat a lot and i really much like her, in a way you can like a girl through chatting. i hope i’m not a nerd so, but it really makes fun. I think that we kinda connect pretty well (she is from greece and pretty attractive by the way). In two weeks she wants to visit me in germany for two days.

If i would be that cool guy i always pretend i am i probably wouldn’t mind the situation. I really like the girl from greece (just because of chatting with her !!) and i really really want to make out with her, but i don’t really see a chance that we could somehow be together since she’s living in amsterdam.

dou you got an adive for me?

BORK! Love this broken english ass letter. Seriously.
Okay, on to the question.
I don’t see the big problem here. It seems like you’re in a “hook up” relationship with the first girl and the other might have some substance. The “Hook up” relationship can be whatever you want it to be. You could end it tomorrow or drag it out for a few months for fun. If you two are really not on the same page, she’ll eventually figure it out.Just don’t make any broad voal commitments and you’re good. Never lose an opportunity over something that’s not that solid to begin with.

This reminds me of when I was in college. I was a sucker. Straight up. I was 18 and if I hooked up with a girl I liked, it got pitiful real quick. So, on the last day of school, I hooked up with this girl I had been feeling all year. In my moronic head, this meant we were together on some level even though I was dropping out of school and she lived in a different state over 7 hours away. She came to visit me once in the city that summer and that was enough to hold me over (in terms of thinking I was in some sort of relationship). That summer, I was working in a record store and one of my co-workers was this beautiful , awesome girl who was feeling me. Pretty much my ideal girl. We’d flirt but I always held back cause of this out of town girl.She threw me all sorts of hints and signs and I just ignored them. To this day I kick myself over that idiotic decision. Don’t be like me. Get’em all while you can. If you like that girl from out of town, go for it. The casual hook up girls will come and go. And if both these things fall through, who gives a shit? I’m assuming you’re pretty young . Trust me, there’s plenty more out there for you. And you can do much more than just “Make out”.

i have this friend angie. i’ve known her for about 2 years now. she has been with her boyfriend for 4 of those years.
in the last few months we’ve started to hang out more and more. she is extremely flirty. she has said everything from
“why aren’t you more aggressive with me? you know like whip out your cock and slap me in the face with it.” to
“i bet you’re the type of guy who asks if the girl is ok while you’re fucking” (she thinks about me having sex! come on!)

anyways, when i’ve tried to call her out on being really hands on and flirty she always says she is loyal to her boyfriend
and would never cheat on him. this last saturday, we shared a crepe with whipped cream. we were eating off the same plate.
i know this must sound extremely faggy and lame coming from a guy but am i tripping or do i need to just tell her to break up with
her boyfriend? my only concern is if i ask her to do it, she might stop hanging out with me.

on top of all of this shit, i often find her complaining about her boyfriend. like he didn’t do anything for her for valentine’s day and she
was pretty bummed on that, etc…

anyways, let me know what you think. maybe i should stop torturing myself is what i’m always thinking but she is fucking hot
and really fun to hang out with.

Sounds to me like
a)She’s a flirty piece of shit.
b)She’s setting the table to break up with her man and needs a new guy on stand by until she does.

My advice to you is: Wait it out. But also, don’t expect a relationship out of this. The best thing that can happen is that she’ll break up with her man and you’ll fuck her a bunch. IF that sounds like a good deal, then hold tight until the inevitable break up happens. Just don’t focus all your attention on her. Keep her around the same way she’s keeping you around. A back pocket option int he future.
Certain girls are crazy flirts but do so cause they know it’s a sure fire way of keeping a guy around. She knows you wanna hit it and she’s banking on all this teasing as a way to keep you in the fold. What it really comes down to is how patient you are. If this is getting overwhelming and you can’t handle being around her, then speak up. Put it out there. If she rejects you, stop hanging with her. It’s better for both of you and, down the line, when they do inevitably break up, I wouldn’t be surprised if she reached out to you on some level.

One thing I will say is that there are few things hotter that sex after years of sexual tension and muted desire. If you do finally get it, be careful cause you might accidentally fuck her to death with all that pent up aggression. Wear a condom, bro.

Know this guy since I was 15 (we’re 28 now) and always had a thing for each other. It never worked out back then, we were too young, shy then kind of drifted apart. Thanks to the miracle of social networking we reconnected a year and a half ago.

We fell for it hard and I moved into his house right away. Things were pretty ok, I loved him like mad, but he had some issues. He is really insecure and he’s pretty much a hoarder. Things I had no idea about when we were kids. When I moved in I cleaned his house top to bottom, made four trips to the dump for him (because he doesn’t drive). But he never participated in keeping the house up and I eventually just started to give up.

Around the same time he lost his job and I ended up losing my license. I had to take a bus to work which took up 6 hours of my day because his house was way out in the boonies. I fell into a depression and told him I needed to move to be closer to work. He owned his home so moving with me was not an option. I thought if we took a step back he could work on his shit and I could mine. Being so insecure he got really mad and we just ended up breaking up.

I’ve been out of his house for two months but we’ve still kept in contact. He’s brought me flowers, cupcakes and books and shit to my work to declare his love for me and wants me back. I’ve been in a good place as of late and was starting to really want to be with him again. So just the other day I asked if he wanted to come over and bone (more romantically of course). He said he wasn’t able to do that because it would fuck him up and blah, blah. I told him that it wasn’t just the sex and that I wanted to start working on the relationship.

Then said he doesn’t want that anymore, when literally three days before he said that I was the one he wanted and and he would be here for me. Confused, I asked what changed so suddenly. And asked if he met someone else. He said he had been on a date but it didn’t go anywhere. So I accepted what he had to say and decided to put him behind me.

That same night he came over unannounced and declared his love for me once again and convinced me that this was what I really wanted and we decided to work it out. We stayed up all night and talked and had great sex. He woke up and left work, then an hour later he text me saying that he couldn’t do it. No real explanation, just couldn’t do it.

Did he feel too rejected by me? Do you think there is someone else? I don’t get it and he’s not giving me answers. Why would a man act like this?

Hmm…First off, I feel like you’ve hit the Jackpot as far as deadbeat boyfriends. I dunno if it’s your thing to want to “fix” and “take care” of people but that shit is never a healthy reason to be with someone. Even if you do love the dude, recognize that getting back into this may be a life long project that will never be finished.
I obviously don’t know this dude but judging from what you said, he’s got some mental health issues. He’s a hoarder and he’s severely depressed. I feel like his constant back and forth between wanting you and being done with you is probably just manic swings bought on by his condition. I understand that you guys have a history together and your feelings are real but I also feel like it’s best you just move on. You’re too young to become a nurse for a mental patient. He needs help that you can’t provide. Perhaps you could try and push him in that direction. His non-commitment to how he feels is unsettling and I doubt it’ll change anytime soon.
If not mental disorder, this may be the case:
Judging from his whole “I’m not ready” stance when you invited him over for sex, that just may be the truth. He knows he can’t handle seeing you without everything being back to how it was. But , he eventually broke down and saw you and did what he knew he’d do (which was make a connection and have sex). The next day, he reminded himself that it’s not in his best interests to hang with you at this point in his life, thus the second blow off.

I dunno. Shitty situation but I can’t stress enough how little fun dealing with a depressed person is in the context of a relationship. If I were you, I’m get to stepping and focus in on some new dude with problems that you can try and fix.