Hello everyone. You know, the drill, if you have more random questions or any “Dear Dr. Tony” advice type inquiries, send them to phatfriendblog@gamil.com or leave them in the comments below. And now, on with the show…

Really interested in some of your opinions on the people you balled with. Who was noteworthy in either their niceness or wackness? I feel like Adrian Grenier could be secretly nice at ball.

Ah, to refresh, here’s my list of semi famous people I’ve randomly played ball with over the years:
1)Michael Rappaport
He was good. Way bigger than I thought he would be. I definitely got the vibe that he was a guy who played a lot when he was younger but was rusty.

2)Ethan Hawke
Terrible. Like a chicken with his head cut off and one of those dudes who I was worried to get near to on the court cause his lack of b-ball IQ might lead to accidentally injuring other people. It was amusing to hear all the kids from the projects call him funny names though. “Yo, I got Gattaca!” or “Who’s guarding ‘before sunrise’?”

3)Peter Berg
He was mad intense. I don’t recall him being good or bad. I think he had a decent shot though. BUt his desire to win was strong. He definitely moved the ball around a lot and was talking the whole time. I’d imagine he’d be annoying to play with but playing against him was fine.

4)Josh Saviano (“Paul” from the wonder years)

I played with Josh for years (wonder years, you could say) before realizing he was who he was. He was not a particularly great offensive player but he knew where to be and would hit a shot now and then. He was a tenacious defender though and I actually didn’t look forward to him guarding me ever.

5)Ad rock

He’s fun to play with. He’s certainly not great but he has a good time while he plays and hits some hilarious shots. His “top of the key one leg kicking out fade away” shot is shockingly consistent.

6)MCA

Super nice dude. Not very good at ball though. He doesn’t pass much and does everything super slow so he has tons of turnovers. Also, Both he and Ad Rock were shorter than I expected.

7)Joakim Noah

I played with him at the park once when he was like 15. He was tall as fuck and not playing that hard. Honestly, he kinda sucked (for his size) at that time but that could be more about him not trying than anything else. One thing was for sure though, he was kind of a dickhead. It may have been just teenaged petulance but he was certainly not good vibes.

8)Frank Whaley (The guy who gets shot in “Pulp Fiction” after Sam Jackson gives his famous biblical speech)

Terrible. He personified “Little white dork” on the court.

9)Bobbito Garcia

Bobbito can definitely ball. He doesn’t pass at all and does some of those dumb and1 dribble tricks during games but his shot is lights out and he’s pretty hard to guard.

10)Brandon Sexton III

I don’t remember him that much. I do recall him not being anything special and seeming less than average athletically. It was a long time ago though, so who knows?

11)Adrian Grenier

Adrian and I actually played on a urban league team together (we’ve known each other since a little after high school) one year. Our team was called “Ham sandwich” and we were terrible. He’s kind of more on the hippy side of things and never really played sports growing up. That shows in his game. That said, he can hit a shot here and there and was more athletic than I would have guessed. He basically plays like any kid who went to art school. I think, had he been more obsessed with ball at a younger age, he might have been pretty good.

Who are some of your favorite acts (bands, musicians, producers) to see live? Do you see live music much at all? What do you try and do while playing live that is different from your studio work?

Honestly, I’m pretty much done with live music. I don’t know if it’s cause I do shows or I’m just too old to want to stand there but it just doesn’t appeal to me. I think part of it is, most of the live shows I would go to are rap and rap shows are fucking boring. There’s a small hand full of acts that can put on a great show (FYI, Aesop is actually great live) but outside of them, I just don’t feel a drive to go to shows anymore. Also, recorded music always sounds better to me and I’d rather have control over what I’m listening to.

As for my live show…it’s pretty different from my studio work in that it’s more upbeat and pretty quirky. It’s basically like taking all my albums, throwing them in a blender and adding all sorts of other music ranging from hip hop, to old soul to 80’s shit. My live set is very referential. On one hand, you can dance to it but on the other, you can nerd out in the back and just try and catch as much shit as you can cause I’m constantly throwing little pieces of random songs in there. It’s certainly not visually impressive (just a man , his computer and launch pad) but it sounds cool.

1) What are your thoughts on cars being specific to chicks or guys? Example: Miata = Gay Guy or Chick car
2) Let’s say that a friend of yours just bought a car that you believe to be predominately driven by chicks, do you say something to him?
What was your first car and how long did it last?

I can answer these three with a big “N/A”. I don’t drive. Never have. I know nothing of car etiquette and what makes one car cool and another a chick car. But, it does sound like someone hurt your feelings in the past and you’re deflecting it onto what kind of car that person may be driving. Let it go. It’s only a car. It’s way easier to make fun of his girlfriend or something.

Have you ever been to a rodeo?

I have not. I’ve never even seen one advertised. I’d be a little curious to check it out though I feel like the crowd at one would make me a little uncomfortable. Something about large groups of people wearing cowboy hats that creeps me out.

I saw that you tweeted earlier about the music scene video getting a million views. awesome vid by the way. how did it come about? the same artist that drew the album cover animated it? did you tell the artist what your vision was for the vid was or was it more of like a, “i kind of want it this way but do your thing man i trust you?”

I wish I had some great story behind this…the truth is, my label contacted me about someone doing an animated video for “The music scene”. They asked if that was ok and I was like “Uh, sure, whatever…” cause, in the past, when they’ve commissioned videos they’ve been fine, but ultimately I didn’t give a fuck. So, I said yes and forgot about it. Five months later I get an email with a link to the video and my jaw hit the floor. It was amazing. Best thing I’ve ever been involved with , visuals wise, by leaps and bounds.
The guy who made it did not do my album artwork but he did interpret it in the video.
So, sadly, I had nothing to do with how cool that video is except for making the song.

Have you even been to DC and what do you think of the city and the music scene there? I’m considering a move next year, what do you think?

I’ve only been to the actual city once and it was for a show. It was fine , I guess. Not much to go on. I’ve been to the suburbs outside of DC a ton though cause my girls grew up in Bethesda. They’ve got good food there but it’s still pretty much just some boring ass suburbs,

What is your favorite pizzeria in NY? Why do you like it?

That’s tough. Right now, South Brooklyn Pizza on 1st ave between 7th and St Marks is my shit. Not only is open till five am 7 days a week but it’s the freshest slice you will ever get. It’s super simple, real italian pizza. They’ve got amazing parmigiana cheese there that they dump on the slices as well as fresh crushed garlic that blows any garlic powder out the water.

What is your favorite LIVE sports moment?

Hmm…I’ve never been to a playoff game before in any sport so I’ve never been to a game of extreme importance. That said, I’ve seen some amazing games. In hindsight, the coolest thing I ever saw was Daryl Strawberry’s first major league at bat (he struck out) but, outside of that, I was at a Knick game about 10 years ago where they won in overtime against the lakers with a buzzer beater shot by Sprewell (I think it was him, it was so long ago, it’s hard to be sure). That was certainly the most exciting thing.

I think its my ADD or something but when im working on music i can newly work for like 20-30 mins at a time. I always have to ake a break. Its extremely rare for me to stay more than an hour straight working on something non stop. Are you the same way?

I’m the opposite. I work till it’s done or don’t work at all. It’s funny too cause I’m totally ADD in many ways but when it comes to making music, I gotta finish what I’m working on. I’m almost OCD about it. The only thing that might stop me is my old ass sampler getting too hot after being on too long and needing time to cool down. That used to happen so much I’d freeze a towel and put it on the “engine” part of my sampler to keep it cool. It actually worked.

What’s up everyone. I’m kind of amazed this column has made it to 40 volumes. But, I suppose that’s good cause there isn’t THAT much for me to write about on this planet so thanks to all the people who have sent in questions over the course of the blog. Keep’em coming: Phatfriendblog@gmail.com is the place to send them or, leave them in the comment section below. I can’t stress enough how much more fun the weird questions are. I know you guys like getting insights on the musical process and all but , personally, it bores the shit out of me to write about that kinda thing. But whatever, ask what you want. Just know that the weirder the questions the more fun the answers.
Let’s get into this…

what percentage of your beatmaking is done on hardware vs. software? could you still make music with one and not the other?

I use only two things: Asr-10 and Abelton live. The Asr is hardware and Abelton is software. I could definitely only use one or the other and make tracks. I only used the ASR for pretty much 10+ years of my career. The addition of Abelton is relatively recent. That said, While I could make beats strictly on Abelton, it would limit my drums significantly.

Yo Block, judging from previous blog entries and twitter posts, it seems you find amusement in all things fecal, so I’ve got one for you. Given the option, would you rather A) be subjected to taking 5 shits a day for the rest of your life, or B) select 1 day out of every month where you will be forced spending that entire day (meal breaks allowed) in the bathroom…shitting of course (so bring a book, your laptop, an ipod, even rig up your sampler or a TV if that’s feasible, cause you’re gonna be in that motherfucker for hours on end)?

That’s a tough one. I’m not gonna lie though, a full day on the toilet does sounds strangely appealing to me. Zen-like even…but the reality of it would be terrible. First off, if I sit on the toilet now for too long, my legs fall asleep. I can’t imagine what 24 hours would do to my circulation. I somehow liken it to those old gangbang videos they used to make where the girl would bone like 200 dudes but they’re have to stop every now and then to give her tons of water and stretch her out cause she’d be cramping from dehydration.
Secondly, the hemorrhoids that would cause would make me want to kill myself. Also, the scheduling would be an issue. What I’m I’m on tour and we don’t have an off day? I’d need to pencil in “Shitting day” for anytime I was on the go for more than a month at a time. So, I guess I’d have to pick the 5 shits a day. That would be really annoying but I imagine they’d be 5 quick ones. Like i could treat them more like I do taking a piss. The scheduling of these would be an issue as well, AND it would certainly lead to me crapping in some less than ideal toilets but that 24 hour dump-a-thon would just be too much.

Based on your last post about Aesop’s lyrics vs yours, what do you think about his newly flexed producer muscle?? Surely you won’t quit making beats just because his beats are as equally face-melting as his lyrics right?

Aesop has BEEN a dope producer. I think People assume I made every beat until Bazooka Tooth and that isn’t the case. He did almost all of “appleseed”. He did almost half of both Float and Labor days. He’s been making beats pretty much as long as I have and was never wack.
As for me quitting cause people are starting to realize it, obviously, that won’t happen. With rapping, I gave up cause ,upon hearing him, it put my limitations as a rapper in perspective. With beats, it’s a different animal. And I feel like I’ve carved a nice little niche for myself at this point. Stopping on account of another person would be insane.

How do you choose collaboration projects? Is it motivated more by money or desire to work with someone? As a “professional” is that choice even yours anymore?

I’ve always had control over who I work with. Sure, there are a hand full of people who have purchased beats from me over the years that I have never met. But , if we’re talking people I actually hit the studio with and talk about the music we’re making, I’ve been selective. Lately, I’ve found myself wanting to work with a bunch of new artists. Thanks to things like twitter, this is way more possible than it was 10 years ago.
Concerning these artists, the money doesn’t really come into it cause, frankly, there’s not much money to be made. Where as I will charge some stranger who wants a beat lots of money, if I’m a fan of the music, we can work around it. But, the catch is, I’m not easily impressed and about 95% of mc’s out there do not fall into that category.

Since you seem to be in the know about porn, here’s an otw question for you: What’s your opinion on the fake dongs appearing in the internet vids lately, obviously shooting fake jizz in copious amounts on to girls faces. Not many people can produce jizz naturally like that and well the dongs look pretty fake too so, Is that A)”coppin’ out” in your opinion or B) “ok player”? to use a fake dong ina porn video if portrayed to be real?

Those porns with the fake cocks are stupid. They’re obviously fake and I don’t think anyone actually watches them. I’d say they’re way less prevalent now then they were like 5 years ago. Basically, they’re a non-issue. However, if you’re jerking off to them, you’re kinda weird. But nothing is that shocking considering how popular animated porn is. on a side note, if you’re jerking off to non-humans (this includes drawings), get some help bro. You’re either a creep or so far removed from reality that you probably need 45 sided dice shoved up your ass to cum.

In a chicken or egg question sense what would you suggest a serious am/pro musician do to get bookings (in and) out of town? I noticed you have a talent agent, so I wondered is that something a no name would seek out first or do those entities find you (or become friendlier to you) once you’ve “arrived”?

Eh, you need a name before you can even land a booking agent. So, I guess that answers that, right?

if reincarnation is truth, who would be recycled as that one ant who brings that little morsel of poison it thinks is food, back to nest? (no quantity limits, no rules)

Oh man…So many people deserve that fate. There are so many different types of piece of shit people in the world today that it’s hard to whittle them down to just one. So, I’mma just reach in the bag and pull out one type.
Pageant moms.
These awful twats should be hunted down and killed live on PBS. I hope, if they were to be the ant that brings home the poison, that they also come down with ant AIDS and die a slow painful death.

What type of music did you like growing up? Like from when you were a little kid until now. Also, give me your top 5 hip hop albums of all time.

First off, please stop sending me “what are your top five _____” questions. Not a diss to this person who asked here but I just hate answering that kinda shit cause it’s the type of thing that changes. I don’t have a definitive top five list for anything on this planet except maybe “Top five least favorite top five list questions”. In fact, I hereby reserve the right to ignore all questions like this…unless they’re a really funny , creative top five list.
As for music growing up, the first two songs I can recall liking were “Eye of the tiger” by survivor and The Theme song to “The greatest american hero”. I must have been like 6 or 7 when those came out but they are definitely my earliest musical memory. After that, I doubt I was very picky about music. I didn’t purchase music till I was about 10 and the first album I ever got was the soundtrack to Beat street. I had seen the movie and loved the rapping santa part so I bought it at a flea market. It turned out to be the only song I liked on the whole album. My older brother was heavy into music though so I heard all sorts of shit. Mostly 80’s music. I liked some of that, as well as the Beatles and some billy joel shit but I didn’t really love any music until I started being obsessed with hip hop around 87. After that, it was pretty much only hip hop until I was 18 when I opened up to some jazz and soul stuff (college will expand your mind, yo). Nowadays, I listen to all sorts of shit. Old soul is still there, some rock music (not an overwhelming amount), some weird foreign stuff from the 60’s/70’s. lots of old hip hop with some new shit sprinkled in. That’s about it. Ironically, if the music is made on a computer, there’s a good chance I’m not checking for it. Go figure…