When scrabble gets real



Allow me to nerd out here about scrabble.
I play online scrabble on this site called Word.biz. It’s a no frills site where strangers play each other in timed games. They use a ranking system that goes from 1-2500, so you know what caliber opponent you’re playing. Your score changes with every win or loss. I’d say most people dwell under the 1000 point ranking, while anyone over 1200 is very good. Anyone over 1500 is Lil man tate level genius and anyone over 2000 probably plays professionally. I tend to hover around 1200-1350.
Anyway, I play this shit all the time. In fact, it could be argued that I have a slight scrabble addiction. Which is funny considering I can barley read and , were it not for spell check, every blog post I put up would resemble a 4th grade essay on choo choo trains. One aspect of this site is that you can communicate with your opponents. It’s common to say “Hi gl” (hello, good luck) to whoever you play or say “Vn” (very nice) when someone makes a great move or drops a bingo (that’s a word using all of your letters). These are just kinda the unspoken rules that keep the game civilized cause, after all, this is the internet and it is anonymous. Some people don’t say much. Others are fairly chatty. In most cases, it’s all good natured. However, occasionally, you’ll get a bad apple. Someone who does not take losing well…or someone who doesn’t understand that part of scrabble is the luck of the draw. If you play, you know there are just some games where you get all I’s and U’s while the other person is throwing down bingo’s all over the place. It happens. It’s scrabble. It’s a game. It’s not real life.

The other day, I was playing against a dude who’s ranking was much better than mine. He was in the low 1500’s. Usually, when I play these dudes, they destroy me. Dropping bingo’s and words I’ve never seen before all over the fucking place. It’s humiliating but it’s a good way to learn new words. So, this guy and I are playing. We’ve exchanged pleasantries and all seems normal. As the game is going along, it’s clear i’m at an advantage. I’m getting good letters, finding good spots. he’s making due with what he has but it’s not amounting to much. So, the game ends and I win by like 80 points. I say “TY, GG” (thank you, good game) and keep it moving. Then, out of nowhere, he writes this:
“Yeah dude, thank your lucky stars you won that game. Every dog has his day and you just got a gift from god. You’re the dizzy little piggy in the barnyard who happened upon the truffle patch. I let my kid beat me at chess sometimes too. Fuck off”

Huh? first of “Dizzy little pig”? “Truffle patch”? What the fuck was this guy talking about.
I attempt to write a response like “go fuck yourself you lame cocksucker” but he’s already blocked me from responding and put me on a “No play” list. He fucking blocked me. For beating him. Fairly. Then he does something that only the biggest of bitchasses would do. The game is run on a clock. I had used all my letters and won but he’s got to “pass” on his turn to make it official. Instead, he just lets his time run out (there were a few minutes left). in hopes that I’ll get fed up and just sign off instead of waiting and collecting the points from beating him. But, knowing this trick and seeing what a complete shithead this guy is, I hang on. Out of sheer spite. He then disconnects from the site, which adds on another few minutes of waiting for the game to become official. But, I got time and, more importantly, disdain. So I wait. After trying all these tricks, I eventually get the win. and when it’s official, he writes to me
“Figures a piece of shit loser like yourself would wait to get those precious points! You should play the lottery today you fucking faggot!”

Still blocked, I couldn’t respond. It was pretty frustrating, but I’d like to imagine not as frustrating as being that fucking guy.
Let me remind you that this is over a game of internet scrabble.
The internet is a fucked up place. It exposes you to types of people you would otherwise never meet. The type of people who lose their shit over a game played for fun. I can be a competitive dickhead but, wow, that guy takes the cake. I hope I don’t read about some dude beating his kid to death over a disappointing chess loss in the near future. And if that guy does somehow ever happen to come across this post, I’d like to reiterate, first off, You lost, bro. and secondly , with a purpose this time,

as well as

PS, if any of you are on Word.biz, my name is “Toneslap”. You gotta be ranked above 1200 to play me but I take all comers (pause).

42 thoughts on “When scrabble gets real

  1. Thank you Sir Toneslap, for making my day! There’s some dizzy ass pigs in this world that take shit toooooooo seriously. I’ve tried Words With Friends for my Android, but it’s too buggy…maybe I’ll get on this. Thanks!

    P.S. (I will own you. I know the word QI.)

  2. Have you ever used one of those online scrabble word finders that can get you a bingo pretty much no matter what shite letters you have in your tray? I bet you loads of your opponents are using that. Beware Scrabble jerks.

    • Oh, I’m well aware of those. sometimes where you’re playing someone and they’re continually pulling crazy words out their asses, it’s pretty obvious they’re cheating. It sucks but it’s also like “Dude, you’re cheating to win a game that no one benefits from winning”.

  3. Yo Block. That website “Word.biz” is fake bro… I typed that website in my address bar and it was some Russian site or some shit. Maybe you’re just calling it the wrong thing or something? Can I get the link because I’ve been looking for some Free Scrabble for a minute!

  4. Off topic, if you haven’t watched it already, you need to Netflix “I think we’re alone now.” shit is right up your alley.

  5. TWL Tournament World List – US scrabble list
    OSW Official Scrabble Words – UK and World scrabble list
    OSPD Official Scrabble Players Dictionary – lame home game dictionary with all the rude words taken out
    SOWPODS combination of US and UK dictionaries for international tournament play.

    yeah, i’m pretty nerdy with this shit

  6. You got me hooked on this game of knowledge enhancement…but some of the words people get away with is NEXT LEVEL SHIT. I thought I was going to be getting outsmarted by all these intellectual words I would regret not going to school for. Instead I am getting beat by words like ZEE,QI,ZA,,,ect. I asked on girl in chat “What the hell is a ZEE?” She replied “I don’t know but I know it works in scrabble.” Gotta step my useless 2 and 3 letter words up massively. Good looking on the link. My time is double flushed down the toilet.

  7. You ever play anything on Xbox live? You’ll run into one of these cats every other minute… however it is often amusing to to see their anger and frustration come out. One time I kept beating this dudes ass in fight night, we were talking shit to each other the whole time. He ending up sending me this gay freestyle message about him breaking in my house and murdering me and then sent a pic of him holding a huge Buck knife. Shit was hilarious.

  8. Ever been to a tournament?I’ve never before felt the ostracization of being put down by a group of pompous,know-it-all “word nerds” who undoubtedly realize that their inane knowledge of borderline nonsensical words has awarded them with no more than a basement room at their parents’ house and a blurb on the NASPA monthly bulletin…what can ya do,scrabble is serious bizness?! /end rant

    • No but I’d definitely watch one for a little bit on tv. I’d just be curious to see what kinda shit they pull out. I’ve played dudes who seemingly could be that good and it’s brutal. They could be getting the worst letters all game and still drop like 3 bingos on you.

      • I know what you mean though,some of these cats bust out 8,9,10 letter words like nobody’s business…it’s like rainman meets milton bradley!

  9. Check out Word Wars, it’s a doc about life on the scrabble tourney circuit and some of these dudes do-not-fuck-around…it seriously made me reconsider my involvement in competitive scrabble lol

  10. wordbiz, isc, has poor programming.. all bingos, no bingos, all u’s, no u’s. sometimes your opponent will get 4 bingos. that would never happen in the real world.

    • It is because the people who run the site are corrupt cheating bastards,who interfere with the natural i.e, letters should fall obeying the mathematical laws of this universe,put this too them and wait to you see the letter combinations you receive,hilariously smart about it too,I would wonder how smart the same cunts would be to your face.
      The programming is exactly the way they want it.

  11. YOu do always beat me, but you gotta admit I dropped som seriosu science terms you thought were straight fake/looked up son

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s