Allow me to nerd out here about scrabble.
I play online scrabble on this site called Word.biz. It’s a no frills site where strangers play each other in timed games. They use a ranking system that goes from 1-2500, so you know what caliber opponent you’re playing. Your score changes with every win or loss. I’d say most people dwell under the 1000 point ranking, while anyone over 1200 is very good. Anyone over 1500 is Lil man tate level genius and anyone over 2000 probably plays professionally. I tend to hover around 1200-1350.
Anyway, I play this shit all the time. In fact, it could be argued that I have a slight scrabble addiction. Which is funny considering I can barley read and , were it not for spell check, every blog post I put up would resemble a 4th grade essay on choo choo trains. One aspect of this site is that you can communicate with your opponents. It’s common to say “Hi gl” (hello, good luck) to whoever you play or say “Vn” (very nice) when someone makes a great move or drops a bingo (that’s a word using all of your letters). These are just kinda the unspoken rules that keep the game civilized cause, after all, this is the internet and it is anonymous. Some people don’t say much. Others are fairly chatty. In most cases, it’s all good natured. However, occasionally, you’ll get a bad apple. Someone who does not take losing well…or someone who doesn’t understand that part of scrabble is the luck of the draw. If you play, you know there are just some games where you get all I’s and U’s while the other person is throwing down bingo’s all over the place. It happens. It’s scrabble. It’s a game. It’s not real life.
The other day, I was playing against a dude who’s ranking was much better than mine. He was in the low 1500’s. Usually, when I play these dudes, they destroy me. Dropping bingo’s and words I’ve never seen before all over the fucking place. It’s humiliating but it’s a good way to learn new words. So, this guy and I are playing. We’ve exchanged pleasantries and all seems normal. As the game is going along, it’s clear i’m at an advantage. I’m getting good letters, finding good spots. he’s making due with what he has but it’s not amounting to much. So, the game ends and I win by like 80 points. I say “TY, GG” (thank you, good game) and keep it moving. Then, out of nowhere, he writes this:
“Yeah dude, thank your lucky stars you won that game. Every dog has his day and you just got a gift from god. You’re the dizzy little piggy in the barnyard who happened upon the truffle patch. I let my kid beat me at chess sometimes too. Fuck off”
Huh? first of “Dizzy little pig”? “Truffle patch”? What the fuck was this guy talking about.
I attempt to write a response like “go fuck yourself you lame cocksucker” but he’s already blocked me from responding and put me on a “No play” list. He fucking blocked me. For beating him. Fairly. Then he does something that only the biggest of bitchasses would do. The game is run on a clock. I had used all my letters and won but he’s got to “pass” on his turn to make it official. Instead, he just lets his time run out (there were a few minutes left). in hopes that I’ll get fed up and just sign off instead of waiting and collecting the points from beating him. But, knowing this trick and seeing what a complete shithead this guy is, I hang on. Out of sheer spite. He then disconnects from the site, which adds on another few minutes of waiting for the game to become official. But, I got time and, more importantly, disdain. So I wait. After trying all these tricks, I eventually get the win. and when it’s official, he writes to me
“Figures a piece of shit loser like yourself would wait to get those precious points! You should play the lottery today you fucking faggot!”
Still blocked, I couldn’t respond. It was pretty frustrating, but I’d like to imagine not as frustrating as being that fucking guy.
Let me remind you that this is over a game of internet scrabble.
The internet is a fucked up place. It exposes you to types of people you would otherwise never meet. The type of people who lose their shit over a game played for fun. I can be a competitive dickhead but, wow, that guy takes the cake. I hope I don’t read about some dude beating his kid to death over a disappointing chess loss in the near future. And if that guy does somehow ever happen to come across this post, I’d like to reiterate, first off, You lost, bro. and secondly , with a purpose this time,
as well as
PS, if any of you are on Word.biz, my name is “Toneslap”. You gotta be ranked above 1200 to play me but I take all comers (pause).