Happy Halloween, here’s a song…

I’m not gonna lie, I’m hungover and kinda busy today so I don’t have time to write a whole post up. Instead, I’m gonna give away some music I made…This is a Halloween mash up I made a year ago. I originally played it at a halloween party in denver and that was it. I posted it before but that link is down so , I figured I probably have enough new readers since last year that giving it away again won’t really bum anyone out. So, here ya go:

Lazy ass halloween costumes

Listen, I’m not really a halloween guy. I don’t really dress up and when I do it involves minimal props and clothes I already own. Last year, I went as a “scum bag”. This basically was me, with a wig on, a fake moustache , some sunglasses and a cheesy suit. It was this:

That’s about as much work as I’m willing to put into it (and that’s easily the most work I’ve ever put into a halloween costume in my life). So, for all you lazy fucks, I understand. I’m one of you.
So, with halloween coming , I figured I’d help you lazy half assed halloween people out with picking costumes that , while extremely mediocre, will technically get the job done.


This is the go too lazy costume for anyone who ever owned JNCO jeans. If, at any point you went to rave and didn’t throw the clothing out, just throw on some old JNCO’s that the moths in your closet have been fucking in for a decade, get a huge t-shirt with a stupid cartoon on it, find a silly futuristic jester hat and eat candy. Viola! You’re a raver.

2)A dead (fill in the blank)

You could be a dead version of anything.If you work in finance , you could be a “Dead Financier” simply by dressing how you normally would but making yourself paler than normal and maybe putting some fake blood on your face. Boom!
Hell, you could even be really inventive and just be a dead raver. Cause, really, everyone can appreciate that.

3)Occupy wall street person

I 100& Guarantee this will be the go-to lazy fuck costume of this year. It will literally be people dressing like they do on laundry days. Basically just dress like you’re attending a music festival in portland and make a political sign. Wham-o! Costume done.

4)90’s hip hop guy

I feel like my readership will have the easiest time with this one. Just grab those tims, those super baggy jeans you wore like 4 years ago, maybe a columbia parka? Helly Hanson even…really, whatever you wore from 95-2004. any of that will work. The fact is that normal people dressing like that ,at this point, has literally become a costume.

5)A sexy anything (for women only)

Easily the most played out costume ever but no one with a penis is ever complaining. Just put on as little as you can handle (weather appropriate) and throw some stupid cats ears or a tail on…That’s it. Really, you could walk around with your vagina splayed open and be a “Pap smear” and no one would complain. Just bring mace. This is obviously something only girls can do cause guys can’t walk around with their dicks out. It’s too cold and that person will very likely be beaten to death by a crew of angry drunk dudes in “scream” masks.

6)Just get a mask

Any mask will do. You don’t even need to coordinate with your clothes. The downside of masks are that
a)They’re uncomfortable
b)They make binge drinking a lot harder
c)It’s hard to get some of that halloween pussy if you’re covering your face.
But, on the bright side, they’re easy, you can always take them off and if you’re one of those people with a great body and a terrible face, it could work in your favor. Just don’t be bummed when the person you meet asks you to keep the mask on ala revenge of the nerds.
Also , this costume is particularly great if you are planning on committing criminal acts. Not only does it hide your identity, but when a pack of dudes in masks or walking through the train, laws seem to no longer apply to that train car. Beware.

7)Dress vaguely like a famous person
Put on a hawaiian shirt! Boom, you’re magnum P.I. and/or Tyler Durdon.
Stuff like that is especially easy if you resemble this famous person. If someone has ever told you look like Ron Pearlmen
instead of killing yourself cause they just said that, just throw on a leather vest, draw on a tattoo and , BLOWWWW, you’re one of the Sons of Anarchy

The moral of this costume is to work with what you’re given.

8)Be a fat version of something

Much like the dead person , the fat person can be achieved easily as well. You work at Foot locker? Throw a pillow in your shirt and all of a sudden, you are a “fat foot locker employee” (or a fat referee, same thing).
Better yet, if you’re already fat, just put on anything normally worn by someone skinnier and, Ba-dow, you now have a costume. You can be a fat sailor. Or a fat drummer. The world is your oyster. And Fried oysters are your shit.

9) Be an “athlete”

If you think about it, this may be the laziest of all costumes for a dude to wear. Literally putting on your gym clothes or your softball team shirt and saying “I’m a baseball player”. Just add some accessories and no one will argue. I mean, look at you! you have a baseball glove AND a sweatband around your wrist. You’re a regular Wade boggs!

10)Homeless guy

This is kinda like taking the occupy wall street costume to the extreme. Just throw on like 40 pieces of clothing at once until you look like walking pile of laundry. Add “filth” and , there ya go, you are a homeless guy. As an added effect, drag around a bag of cans behind you all night. It’ll be a pain in the ass but it will also sell the costume way harder.

Song of the day 10/27/11

Emcees By Roc Marciano
I’ve been running Roc Marciano’s album “Marcberg” a lot lately. It took me a little time to “get it”, in the sense that I thought he was just kind of a typical Queens rap dude with a really bad choice of rap name. In fact, I’d been hearing his name for a long time but never bothered to check him out cause I was biased against rappers who name themselves after italian people. But, once I realized he was actually extremely dope and , possibly, one of the last guys doing real official NYC street shit, I was hooked. People speak of “Winter music” and this album is that to a tee.
However , this song of the day is something a little different. I don’t even remember where I got this from but I’m pretty sure it’s somewhat older than most of the stuff he did on “Marcberg”. It’s also somewhat happier. Maybe that’s why it didn’t make the album? Whatever the case, I like it.

As a bonus, while we’re on the topic of NYC street shit , I just wanted to post this video of “Cold Facts” By K.A.

If you’re an extreme hip hop nerd you might recognize the name from some old Natural elements songs. He was the raspy voiced guy that you probably always wished wasn’t on the song. Well, it’s like 14 years later and , I gotta say, dude has improved greatly. The vibe of this song is straight ominous and he kills it. Much like the Winter music by Roc , this is something I can see myself blasting in my Ipod while trudging through snowy streets at 1 am.

Allow me to shit on NYC for second

^This may be the biggest problem with NYC, all wrapped up in one music video.

If there is one thing I have any pride in, it’s NYC. If you’ve read this blog for a while you’d know that I’m blindly loyal to this city and have been for as long as I’ve been aware of what
“pride” is. If New York City were it’s own country, I’d be that Gun rack having Yokel with NYC flag stickers all over my pick up truck blasting the newest Pro-New York Country song. However, I am a Libra. And even though that actually means nothing in real life, anyone who follows signs will tell you we are all about the scales. Ask any girl. She’ll tell you. I may seem very opinionated (I am) but I’m very much a person who weighs things out. Because of this, even I am able to admit that NYC is full of faults. Keep in mind, this isn’t about New yorkers (whom I’m sure you all think are smug assholes with inflated self importance issues) but about the city itself. So, let me tell you my beefs with the greatest city on the planet…

1)Mexican food

You’re probably thinking “how dare this dude start a list of complaints off with something as meaningless as food?” Well, for one, I love food that much and secondly, this is NYC. THere is no excuse for this shit.grh
We’ve got tons of mexicans here. Obviously, not on the same level as California but enough that you’d think I would be able to find a decent taco in NYC. When I go out west, the cheapest, crappiest taco truck>>>>>anywhere here. It’s insane. It’s not like motherfuckers are hiding the recipe. This shouldn’t be that hard. Just open a bunch of “Poquito Mas” out here and get it over with.
I feel deep shame when someone asks me “Hey where’s a good place to get a burrito around here?” and I point to a fucking Chipotle. What kind fo Mall life bullshit is that?
Lately, things have been slightly improving. There are a handful of spots and a bunch of taco trucks, but still, even those places aren’t shit compared to the most mediocre place out west. Step it up, ese.

2)Live shows suck here
The Vibe when you see live music here is a bummer. It’s really the only major city I can think of where people are seemingly “over” live music yet, they still go. I can honestly say one of the best things about all these out of town transplants is that they’ve bought their out of town show seeing values to NYC. It’s desperately needed.
More often than not, at every show, there will be a small core of people up front enjoying themselves. Dancing, fist pumping or whatever it is people like to do at shows. However, outside that little group, are a bunch of people with their arms folded staring down their noses at the performer on some “entertain me , you clown!” type shit. I’m guilty of this too. I’ve been that guy in the back quietly watching since i was a kid. I feel like I can blame NY for that. They set the precedent from a young age and I followed.
When you go to shows in other cities or towns, it’s a whole new world. People dancing all over. Fucking hula hoop sections. Stoned out drug addicts just waving around in deep bliss. That kinda shit just isn’t in the blood of New yorkers and it’s a shame. It makes for a better experience for all those involved (well, maybe not the hula hooping).

CMJ is NY’s music festival. The word “Festival” is a stretch though, as that word brings to mind fun. Sure, lots of bands play around town , new and old. For many of them, it’s a really big deal to finally get to play in NYC. But the reality is depressing. Granted, I stopped going/doing to CMJ shows years ago for good reason. All my memories of these shows consist of an artist playing while a room of people who could care less drink and talk loudly to each other with their back facing the stage. It’s the type of place where two people will sit on stage next to each other and have an loud conversation while someone is performing about 3 feet away from them. I can say as a person who does shows that nothing is more offensive than that. I don’t care how green or shitty an artist is, no one deserves that kinda fuckery.
CMJ, in my experience, is a shmooze-fest that is full of the worst types of industry people you can imagine. No acts get broken. Nothing comes from it. It’s bullshit. I’m sure this is easily related to the whole “Live shows suck here” point but still, it’s no excuse for this festival to be as lame as it is.

4)The edge is gone
This is more of a wistful point by someone who was around before the city became what it is now. It’s also the most common complaint by all New Yorkers. Even the ones who’ve lived her for three years and have no fucking clue what they’re talking about.
As much as I stand by my city and feel it’s #1, there is no denying that it’s not the cutting edge anymore. once the element of danger was removed, it kinda sucked the wind out of the balance this city once had. What was once randomly violent, yet edgy became safe and sterile.
A month or so ago, there was a weekend where like 49 people were shot in New York. It was a record breaking crime wave the likes NYC hadn’t seen in decades. While this is pretty horrifying, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that was kinda like “A little fear never hurt anybody…“. That’s a pretty fucked up thought but I feel like the NYC I once knew and lived in is so far gone now, the only thing that could get it back would be a zombie attack or a city wide gang war. Wishful thinking, I suppose.

5)Fuck your mom and pop stores
One of the greatest things about NY in the past was the small businesses. Great little restaurants and specialty stores were every where. When I was a kid, there was a store near my crib that sold old ass army figurines. Nothing else. It had been open since like the 1950’s. Or baseball card stores. Things like that. Sure, these things are completely of no use to me or most people but the fact they existed and were able to stay open was always great to me.

Now they’re all closed and have become Starbucks, banks or drug stores. I realize there are millions of people on this tiny island, but no one needs THAT many banks , coffee, or drug stores. At any point, I could probably see at least 3 or 4 or these on any given corner in manhattan.
Even worse is that a lot of the places that were once occupied by specialty stores are just closed down empty property. The rent got raised, the store got closed and now it’s just an empty slot on the sidewalk. Might as well have kept the figurines.

6)It’s too expensive.
Forget the price of rent…It’s not even worth discussing. But i’ve come to grips with NYC’s insanely high cost of living as “Paying for location, not lifestyle.” If you’re willing to pay a shitload for a small studio apartment just so you can live in lower Manhattan, more power to you. I’d do it too…but beyond those ridiculous costs, it’s the other ridiculous costs. When I go out of town, I feel like I’m spending money in a third world country. 75 cents for a can of soda??? A $4 mixed drink? A meal that costs under 20 bucks? What planet am I on?
I hear Cigarettes are like 11 bucks now in NYC. How crazy is that? That’s over 50 cents per cig. I bet you could by a carton in West Virginia for like 14 dollars. It’s nuts. It’s also what made a place that used to be where an artist could come live and scrape by become a place where artists come to get their dreams crushed before moving to Portland and opening a Pilates studio. Shit is real (expensive).

7)You can’t find good help
You will never meet a more entitled and obnoxious workforce than the people who work shitty jobs in NYC. The Cashiers, the take out counter people, the coffee shops assholes…all of them. These are jobs that, when you go to other places, you are greeted with a smile. I recall eating at a MCDonalds in the midwest and just being blown away by how helpful people were. Out here, it’s like I can’t ask for my change back without feeling like I’m really putting this person out.
I’ve been all over the country and this seems to be a NY specific thing. It transcends race and culture. The Hipster dude at the boutique coffee shop is just as likely to be as big a dickhead as the thugged out dude working the register at Burger king. It’s this “I’m above this job so fuck you” attitude. Being a person who has worked jobs like this, I can say, it’s not fucking hard to be polite. Smile, say hi and thank you. some people deserve to be unemployed.

8 ) Rap-wise, there is no community
I’m pretty far removed from giving a shit about what the music scene is like and who’s down with who but , as long as I can remember, there has always been a divide for rap dudes from NYC. Whether it be what borough or genre, the support has always been limited. Meanwhile, you go to a place like the Bay Area and you got dudes like E-40 bigging up Blackalicious or out in L.A. , Snoop dog cosigning Murs. That kinda shit goes a long way , yet that line of thought is apparently lost on New Yorkers.

I’m sure there are more but I’m blanking out right now. Feel free to add on…but only if you’re a new yorker cause I don’t truly give a shit what some dude from Ottawa thinks about my city.

Peep this Remix I Did!

My Homeboy’s Blue Sky Black Death produced an awesome album for rapper Nacho Picasso called “For the glory“. Here’s a song from that (that you can download for free from the link above. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IUiv4Q3LRc

I did a remix for his song “Benjamin Segal” that is available for free download here:

GO get it, son!!!

Answers for questions Vol. 57

Hello everyone. This week I’m pretty heavy on the videos. Why not? For some reason , many of this weeks questions were in reference to other peoples music so I figured I might as well share, while I care, cause sharing is caring.
Anyway, as always, send more questions to Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below.
Let’s goooooooo!

Hey Blockhead, I’m making a mix CD for a CD exchange on this forum I post on. It’s a fun way to get exposed to new music. Anyway, I usually throw a Blockhead track or two on my mixes, since I’m a fan and I like to share the love. Figured I’d ask you: what track do you think is a good intro to what you’re all about? Or to put it more straightforward: what track would you like me to put on a mix CD? Keep in mind, a total stranger will be hearing the mix, and there’s a chance they might not even like instrumental hip hop/trip hop/whatever genre you’re being shoehorned into nowadays.

That’s a tough call cause what I think is great doesn’t always translate to what someone who’s never heard my shit before. If I were to go off of what fans like the most, it would easily be “Sunday Seance” or “Insomniac Olympics”. But, personally, I’m so sick of those songs I can’t even judge them clearly at this point. If it were on me, I’d say “Expiration date”, “The Strain” , and “Farewell spaceman” are the ones I think give a good insight to the kinda shit I make.

do you like watching judge judy?

I rarely watch any of those judge shows unless I’m stuck in a hotel with shitty cable. It’s not that I don’t like them but they’re just all the same. I actually wrote a whole piece on it a while back:Here.
That should pretty much cover it.

Has macklemore’s career already peaked?

I really hope so. I hadn’t heard of him till a few weeks ago and it definitely wasn’t my thing. What’s up with this new genre of white rappers who do that “breathless” style? It sounds like they’re rapping after running a marathon. Jay-Z was doing it recently too and it sucked for him as well. You want the real breathless style? Take it back to the originator!

Which rapper from your past are you most surprised by their mainstream america success? And which do you think has been the most successful. Seems like a lot of rap cats (Dre, Andre 300, Common, Ice-T, Ice Cube, Snoop, etc, etc) have been randomly popping up on TV, Movies, Commercials, etc.. not that this is a new fad, just curious.

I’m legitimately shocked that Fat Joe got as popular as he did. Not only that but that he stuck around. So many great rappers have come and gone over the last 15-20 years but somehow, he’s managed to not only still put out music that people buy, but make more hits now than when he was younger. He may not be the most successful but he overshot his potential by fucking lightyears.
When I think about the first time I heard him , I was in high school. I thought he had dope beats but was a terrible rapper who got by solely on being crazily thugged out. Flash forward 18 years and this dude has made 10 fucking albums and has platinum hits. It’s amazing. I’m not even mad. Though part of me feels like he must have strong armed the industry…That , or he’s just kinda a cool ass dude that people like working with. I’ve actually heard that about him (as well as him being a ruthless gangster). Who knows?

question: do you ever feel like you hitched your musical ride to the wrong cariage (sp)? Yeah, ninja tune was sweet for a minute, and they put out your shit, but i feel like if you’d hitched yourself to strangefamous, or fakefour, or rhymesayers, or fieldwerks, or some other US based indie hip-hop label post-defjux you would have been put in contact with a serious roster of dope mc’s/producers with which to throw beats, remixes, or collaberations at. I try to stay up on shit that might be coming around new, old, reinvented, or whatever….and i never hear anything about ninja tune. Fieldwerks has been blowing up my musical library on the production tip, and i just feel like your talents are getting squandered in some shitty english slapstick comedy label, rather then thrown into sampler compilations with the likes of………basically the entire fieldwerks roster……..fuck it, no joke, i’m all over their musical dicks……..all their shit is dope……..and you need to get down with them. do it. feel free to consider this not a question, but a statement.

First off, I’ve never heard of fieldworks. So, take that as you will.
As for Ninja Tune, I really don’t have many complaints. As someone who dealt with numerous labels, they’ve been pretty great. They’re creative, they are sufficient and they pay on time. Those things are highly under rated in terms of what labels give you. Back when I got signed (2003) all those labels you listed either didn’t exist or weren’t what they were today. I had a record deal with ninja tune for many albums and when that was done, they were the ones who were gonna pay me better than anyone else and why would I turn that down? They’re super professional and , believe it or not, have clout. Sure, signing to a US based label would be cool but the fact of the matter is my albums would still be available in the same places. And nowadays, getting your CD in stores doesn’t matter anyway.
I think I’ve done pretty well with Ninja. 4 albums in 7 years? I can live with that happily.
On a side note, this question reminds me of when I’m working the merch booth at a show and someone comes up to give me a pound, but instead they opt to works their weird agenda into the brief meeting. Like someone will come up to me and try to get me to talk shit about Aesop or Murs cause they assume “we’re on the level” but in reality, they just wanna hear me say I have the same taste and music ideals as they do (Which I most certainly never do). I’m glad you like Fieldworks. Like I said, no clue what that is but I’m sure it’s fine. But , as long as the music gets released to the public and you don’t have a hard time finding it, it really shouldn’t effect you as a listener. Same music either way.

Since the NBA season is kaput, what’s the chances you’re gonna start
watching more hockey?

There’s still hope for some basketball. I’d guess we’ll be back by January , at the latest…But still, I can’t lie, this is fucking annoying. I really only watch basketball and a little baseball. I feel like a huge chunk of my year has been taken away from me. Not only that, I’m having Fantasy basketball withdrawal like a motherfucker. On the bright side, my girl could not be happier.

Yo block i got a question. I know your a fan of breaking bad, what did you think of the season finale? It was pretty sick. Any thoughts on next seasons storyline?

Holy shit. The last 6 episodes of this season may very well be the best 6 episodes of TV ever. Right up there with Season 4 of The Wire. I can’t believe how great they were. I thought the finale was awesome. Not much to say about it without giving it away (for those who haven’t seen it) but everything fell into place beautifully. As for next season, it’s safe to say it’ll be Walt Vs. Jesse plus Hank. I can’t wait…

Quickfire round:
What’s your favorite part of the video for Safety Dance by Men Without Hats?

The midgets, obviously.

You talk about your experience going to school in Boston, anything you actually liked about Boston? (Aside from how superior the sports teams are to any others, of course.)

First off, fuck you. Secondly, I liked the food there. Great CHOWDAH DOOOD!

Favorite MOP song?
Not only my favorite but if I was a boxer, this would 100% be my entrance music.