I got my tongue depressor and my stethoscope. Time to get my doctor on.
Some good questions this week. As always, send me more questions (if you need advice in matters of the heart) to firstname.lastname@example.org
The doctor is always in…
ok you like a girl, totally digging her vibe but you have been placed
in the friend zone after a hook up between the 2 of you…
what would you do to get out the friendzone and get the girl???
The friend zone is often impenetrable. If it happens after a hook up, that usually means she’s flipped the switch and you might as well chop your dick off in her presence.
The only possible light at the tunnel would be try and play on the natural insecurity most girls have and either
A)Act like it doesn’t phase you and try to make her jealous (thought this is pretty fucking childish and more likely the type of shit a girl would do to a guy)
b)Just stop fawning over her. Be friendly and whatever but don’t treat her how you would someone you deem as a potential mate. That indifference can often be all it takes. On the downside, she might not give a fuck and you and her will end up not being friends at all. So, you know, approach with caution.
I was at the strip club the other night and one of my buddies bought me a lap dance. Awesome first sentence haha.. anywayy me and the girl went back to the private dance area she gave me a dance and what not and we talked when it was over and she ended up putting her number in my phone. On my way home from the bar that night I texted her and set up a date for a few days later. We hung out and she is actually a pretty cool chick. Im wondering what your opinion on dating a stripper is? Is there a chance she is different from most strippers? Does she have a soul? Can I bring her home and not have my roomates instantly think that I have the clap when she leaves?
Personally, 90% of the strippers I’ve ever met have been terrible people. Like truly despicable humans. So, I might be biased. But , I suppose it’s possible there are cool strippers out there.
I don’t doubt that fairly tale “hooker with the heart of gold” exists. She could very well just be a student trying to pay her loans. Or she could be a very crafty crazy person who’s gonna turn on you one night and stab your dick. You never really know?
The real problem with normal dudes dating strippers is that you gotta deal with what they do for a living. Every night, she’s giving dudes lap dances, rubbing boners, and slapping her tits around guys faces. All these things may be meaningless to her but if you’re at all a jealous or insecure type, it’s not gonna work. Beyond that, if you’re worried about how your friends (or family) might react to you dating a stripper, then I’m gonna guess it’s not a good match for you. In reality, dudes that date strippers aren’t really concerned with that kinda shit cause they’re in similar circles. They don’t have parents who put them through college who expect their son to bring home a sweet, innocent girl.
Oh, and think about this, you met her and got her number while she was working. How easy was it? isn’t that odd to you that you could just bag a stripper like that? I’m just saying. Be wary. She might be dating like 8 dudes for all you know. All the strippers I know say they wouldn’t date dudes they do dances for cause, well, they’re in a strip club. Kinda makes sense if you think about it.
So I’m kinda dating this guy, it’s uncanny how similar we are and how well we get along. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who is as perfect for me as he is. I’m pretty sure he’s clinically depressed (or whatever happens to some single men after they hit 30).. He seems very jaded and is pretty pessimistic. I don’t really care ’cause I think brooding middle aged men are kind of hot in a way. I’m also pretty sure he likes me the same way that I do him, but I think he might be afraid because all of his relationships were pretty shitty and women have fucked him over really badly. So, I like him, he likes me.. Why aren’t we together? Well, he has a few other girls that he still fucks/dates and can’t get rid of because they’re emotionally attached (or so he says, and I’m paraphrasing hugely here) I’m not a jealous girl/don’t really care that he’s fucking other people ’cause we’re not together, I understand that people have baggage and what have you and maybe if I give him more time, it’ll happen eventually. He also says he’s not ready to be in a relationship (this is where I think him being depressed comes in) even though he can commit to one girl, despite the fact he says he wants a girlfriend. However, he wants me to stop seeing other people. He says it’s for safety reasons, but I know it’s because he wants to have his cake and eat it too. With what you said about having him in my back pocket, I know that I’m attached and if I date any other guys, I will always be thinking of him and I wouldn’t want to lead anyone on or anything like that because it’s just unfair. So, I’ve decided to be monogamous because of that (and because I don’t want to be with anyone else) So my question is, am I being stupid? Am I setting myself up? Could it be that he’s evil and keeping me around for his amusement and sexual satisfaction? Or is he just depressed and doesn’t know what he wants?
Yes. You are being stupid. You’re leading with your emotions and ignoring all rational thought. If he wants a girlfriend, and wanted to be with you, he’d be with you. It’s simple.
I don’t think he’s evil, I think he just likes fucking you and you two get along well enough that he sees no reason to end it.
Guys are egomaniacs about pussy. We want it all. So, if he knows he’s got you locked down and you’re still cool with him fucking other girls, why one earth would he want to change that? Like you said, he’s having his cake and eating it too.
As for his depression playing a role, I dunno. You say he’s depressed cause he’s jaded and pessimistic…But I’m jaded and pessimistic and I’m one of the genuinely happiest people I know. Those two things are being depressed, they’re being old. So, I feel like you might be saying that he’s depressed cause it gives you a glimmer of hope that his inability to commit is temporary.
The only way you get this guy to even blink is if he becomes the chaser. Make him want you. Date other dudes. Don’t give him sad doe eyes and try to make him fall in love with you. Men’s ego’s react to rejection and , often, it will make us reevaluate our stance on a girl. Basically, as long as he’s in the drivers seat, you will never be anything more than the girl he fucks once or twice a week.
Do you believe in a male biological clock? I’m 30, been in two long-term relationships over the last decade, then spent a couple years single and fucking around. Last month I started seeing a girl who I’m real keen on, and I’ve got an urge to get her pregnant straightaway. Never felt that before. It was always a very rational thing, where I’d say “if I did want kids, I’d probably adopt. blah blah.” I should also add that she’s what I would call the first “woman” I’ve been in a relationship with, as opposed to the “girls” I usually get wrapped up with. To complicate things, we’re doing a long-distance thing for the first 9 months of the relationship, which is why I’m suspicious of my impulses.
Hmm…I feel like having kids is more something dudes come to terms with. I don’t know a single guy who’s like “I can’t wait to have kids!”. Most are like “I will someday be a father and that’s okay”. Maybe you’re just finally in a relationship that you’re happy with and you see a future with the girl. That kinda thing makes sense and kids are easily an extension of that.
As for Biological clock, it’s not really a man’s problem as we can keep making babies well into our 50’s and 60’s. For us, there is no clock.
So here’s the situation, I go to school up in Boston just like a young Blockhead. I’m on the T (you know I’m talking about) one Friday afternoon and as I get closer to my stop I’m kind of playing some eye games with the girl sitting across the aisle from me. So anyway we both happen to get off at the same stop (up on the street level stops above ground) and walk in the same direction. So as we get to the corner I give her a smile and she asks me for directions, apparently she just moved up, and apparently we’re both grad students in the same field she just started and I’m a year in (different schools though..Boston has mad schools, bro.) Anyway we live close I’m just right down the street so when we get to her place she asks for my number. So she went home for the weekend but hit me up the whole time via text. The texts actually started immediately, maybe an hour or two after I gave her my number. Tonight (Sunday) she called me out of the blue and I too am one of those dudes who just does not prefer the phone call, especially with someone I just met… for 2 minutes. Well Block, my question: is this girl crazy OR are there at least signs that point to crazy? Here are the facts: she was the aggressor, i just gave her some eyes; she gave me some corny direction thing as a ploy to talk to me (a dude she had seen checking her out on a train); she hit me up immediately; she called me (at midnight) after 2 days of meeting me walking down the street. So, pretty forward right? I mean its cool and all having a girl step to me without putting in any kind of work whatsoever, but stuff like this obviously doesn’t happen too much so is there a reason for that?
I’d fuck her, but proceed with caution. Let her lead where it goes cause that way you can always hit the breaks if it gets weird without feeling like you led her on. She may be just looking for the booty call hook up…or she might me a huge whore. Whatever the case, feel it out more before you are totally scared off.
My main advice would be to just keep everything honest with her. As long as you’re clear about your intentions, she can never claim to be misled. If she wants something different than you, politely bow out. How bad could it be? She’s just some girl you met on the train. No big loss.