Free Open Mike Eagle EP!


Open Mike Eagle is one of the handful of current rappers that I’m a big fan of. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’d know that,bro. Anyway, coming of his great “Rappers will die of natural Causes” album (released earlier this year) he’s back with a free EP. Including a song I did with him. So, you know, even more reason to want this.

EXTENDED NIGHTMARES GETDOWN (THE DARK BLUE DOOR)
1. Nightmares (Busdriver Remix)
2. Billy’s Quagmire (prod. Blockhead)
3. Four Days feat. Serengeti (prod. Busdriver)
4. The Secret to Negro Alchemy (prod. N/A)
5. Experimental Dream FLCL (prod. Awkward)

Download it here:
http://www.mediafire.com/?23919457eb59vh5
Enjoy.

On a side note, Mike and I are planning on making an Ep together so, definitely keep an eye out for that. I’m really psyched about it.

RIP Patrice O’Neal


If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you may know that I’m not a particularly sentimental guy. Especially when it comes to the deaths of people I don’t know who happen to be famous. However, every now and then, a celebrity will pass on and I’ll be legitimately bummed about it. Patrice O’Neal is one of those people. Easily one of my favorite comedians of our time. You may not be familiar with his work or only know him from seeing him randomly on a terrible VH1 show but, trust, me, the dude was hilarious.
Not only is it sad that he passed in general, but there’s a sense that he was just getting started. He seemed to be finally breaking through in his career and taking it to that next level.
Anyway, this post isn’t about me lamenting the life of a guy I have never met. Nope, it’s about me showing you clips of why I was a huge fan of this man. Just a heads up though, Patrice says some outlandish shit so, obviously, this isn’t for everybody (women, in particular will not be a fan of most of this).
He are some of my favorite Patrice moments (That I could find on the internet):







Trending topics vol. 65


This week, Tim and I discuss Miley cyrus smoking trees and Newt Gingrich smoking crack if he thinks he can actually win the presidency.
http://www.syffal.com/miley-cyrus-christian-bale-newt-gingrich-urban-meyer-wyclef

(my apologies for posting a Miley Cyrus pic but she was the only female in the whole top ten and, you know, I gotta maintain some order around here. At least I didn’t choose one of her weird “Sexy” pics.)

Answers for questions vol. 61

(I hate hate cats but even I am not immune to this fucking picture. Goddamnit)
Sup yo.
So I’m in this awesome cycle of when I get drunk, the next day I wake up with allergies, which then turn into a full fledged cold. Needless to say, my nose looks like I’ve been blowing lines of coke off of sandpaper for the last 5 days. You know what the definition of “not swag” is? Blowing your nose with an already soaking wet tissue you’ve been using and that tissue going in your mouth. Not dope.
Cool story, bro…
Anyway, send me more questions (Ask Dr. Tony questions as well) to Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave’em in the comments below. I can always use more.
This weeks questions are somewhat somber…i dunno why. Cheer up people! Ask me weird funny questions. It helps all of us.
And on with the show…

So I was recently bumping that Saigon album and this question re-popped in my head. Why is the rap community so certain about crack cocaine being invented/intended to destroy black/latinos? I do understand that due to its low quality and value, it is likely going to end up as a drug for the poor, it happens like that in other countries, with similar drugs. But theres a large number of rappers that talk about crack as it was a real government program. Thoughts? Was my question useless?

This can be filed under conspiracy theories. Meaning, sure, it could be true, but I really have no fucking idea. Does it seem kinda far fetched that the government would create a drug to keep poor minorities down? Yeah, kinda. But, you know, The Tuskegee airmen thing was real so you can never really totally say it’s not true.
The thing about crack is that it’s just an extension of free based cocaine. People were smoking coke well before crack ever existed. Not only that, but wealthy people free based like a motherfucker. It’s what people who were rich enough to do tons of coke did when they’re addiction needed something stronger.
There are few things less founded than rapper supported conspiracy theories. I’m not writing it off, but some of these dudes definitely sit around smoking 5 blunts in a row while hypothesizing on everything from where crack came from to why some asian girls suddenly have asses. In both cases, their theories rarely have any more validity than me explaining how a plane engine works.

These next few are all related:
You said: “This was before any of us had really realized what we were a part of. Before making music had any pressure involved, back when it was just us having fun doing something that we loved.”
When did it change for you?

It changed when it started being the way I make a living. It got much more crucial. It also changed with notoriety. The bigger name you are, the more scrutinized you become. Both artistically and for things like samples. When you’re doing it for free , for the love of just doing it, none of that is in your head. You don’t sit around thinking “I dunno if I can use this sample cause I want to one day maybe get it in a commercial”, You just make music. That’s often why a lot of peoples best work is their first album cause it’s unsullied by all the bullshit that comes along with being a professional musician.

Was it when it became a full time job?

I quit my last job in late 2003/early 2004.

Do you consider your work was better back then?
You recently tweeted apologizing (maybe jokingly) about labor days’ drums… in case you were serious, do you think that even though it might have been technically flawed your stuff was better then?
Definitely not. I know many of my fans will disagree but I’ve gotten so much better since I began. As any artist should. Listening to “Float” and “Labor Days”, i was getting by. I had an idea but it was actualized. I couldn’t make drums for shit. My song structures were pretty simple and based on assumptions of how songs were supposed to sound, as opposed to having a grasp on the right way to make music for myself.
The one thing I’ve always had was a good ear for melody and that hasn’t changed but , in every other respect, I’ve improved greatly.

how many people are associated with your career (i.e.
booking agent, manager, blah blah)?

You pretty much named them. I got a manager , who i’ve had since I started doing Solo stuff and a booking agent. That’s more than enough.
On a side note, I can’t stress how nice it is to have a good manager. People complain about it being expensive but fuck that shit. Because of him, I don’t have t deal with ANYTHING. I don’t talk to record label people. I don’t deal with annoying internet rappers who wanna buy beats for $50. His job is to be the asshole and it’s enabled me to keep a low profile in situations where a bridge may have been burned. Feels good, man.

Have you ever met Kool Keith? I have always been a Keith fan and he seems pretty funny and it would be interesting to chill with him.

Nope. But I applaud how completely random the question is.

Regarding like hip hop beef and stuff like that, do you know any rappers or emcees that are prone to getting into fights or who are known for checking people? Have you ever seen any rappers fight? I figure since you’ve been around this is something you may have been around or know about?

There have been little scraps here and there over the years but nothing too serious. Underground rap beef is similar to high school graffiti beef. it’s always a lot more posturing than anything else. Most of the dudes who do underground rap aren’t really about that.
I’ve never seen an actual fight between two rappers. Which is too bad cause I’d probably enjoy watching that.
On a larger level, I’ve heard stories of more known rappers who take no shit like Fat joe, Showbiz, Freddie Foxxx, maino, Kieth Murray. Those guys apparently do not fuck around . That’s the thing though, there are real hood dudes who do dirt and dudes who just rap. It’s rare those two qualities are in one person. Deep down, most rappers are nerds on some level. A typical Thorough thug doesn’t have time for writing raps and recording ad libs.

Hey Blockhead,

I wanna start by saying thanks for throwing up that ICP documentary a while back. That shit was fascinating/hilarious. I knew what ICP fans were like and that they gathered, but I still wasn’t ready to see that madness. My friend and I have great inside jokes because of that shit.

Anyway, after watching it, my friend and I checked out the actual event page just to laugh a little more at the thing. To our surprise, there were a lot of artists on the line-up, and a fair amount of artists I wouldn’t mind seeing (E-40, Georgia Clinton and Parliament, Ice Cube). I’d still require a roofied Fago to end up at that little slice of armageddon, but it got me thinking… What if you were asked to preform there?

Hypothetically, for whatever reason, the upper echelon juggalo big-bodies start bumping your music and promoted it to their fans (maybe playing it as a time filler before they perform on stage and lots of other examples I can’t think of right now). This ultimately culminates in a lot of juggalos being like, “Yeah I fucking fuck with motherfucking Blockhead! WHOOP WHOOP! He should perform here.”

Then, they ask you. What do you say? They got mounds of money and they’ll probably hook you up, but you would have to actively go there and perform/hang out for a little. Would you accept your new fan base. If so, how would you feel about them? Phatfriend is getting “whoops” all up in the comments. Outsiders start attaching the juggalo stigma to your music before they give it a chance (bad way to judge music, but it happens). What do you do, man?

This is a tough one. Cause, to be honest, if i got offered insanely good money to play an hour long set anywhere, I’d probably take it (within reason). Thing is, there is no fucking way I’d be willing to stay on the Juggalo festival campsite before or after I was done. I’d need to be carted out of there as soon as I finished. I don’t even stick around hippie electronica festivals when I do them so I’d be eager to bounce the fuck out of what I imagine to be hell on earth. So, it would have to pay EXTREMELY well (Like 5 digits) and I’d need to be out as quick as possible.
The fucked up thing about a lot of these respected acts they get is that they get booed like they were Tila Tequila. Unless you have face paint and say Whoop Whoop all the time, the Juggalo’s are hard eggs to crack.

As for the hypothetical new fan base, well, shit…it’s not like i don’t already have a few terrible fans (NO OFFENSE YO!) , what’s a few more? If they support the music and help me pay my bills while not asking me to change into a clown make up wearing mongoloid, Why not? That said, there is no way in a bazillion years I’ll ever be the kind of music Juggalo’s flock to. Judging from the template that they go for, I’m pretty much in the clear on that one.

How do you consider urself……..a rich,poor?Or just an average person,considering your income.

I’m good for now. As a musician, it’s all relative and everything could change for better or worse at any moment. so, you know, I just kinda roll with it.
I own my apartment so that’s huge cause my living costs are very low for NYC. Not to mention , I live with my girl so those already low bills are cut in half.
However, I don’t make a ton of money on a year to year basis and it fluctuates like crazy. I certainly make less than I’d guess most people assume I do. But I also don’t spend tons of money. I’m a naturally frugal person in that I pretty much only spend money on food, drink and my bills. And not cause I do that on purpose, I just don’t tend to really need much else.

i remember when I was younger, I’d see underground rap dudes on the street and assume that, just cause they got 12” record out, they were set. Holy shit was I wrong. Whenever I think about that Andre 3000’s second verse from Elevators pops in my head.

That’s some truthful shit right there.

Song(s) of the day 11/25/11


In the spirit of Black friday and all that is greedy, I figured I’d give a little extra today and make it a three song day. YOU’RE WELCOME, BRO’s & BROETTES!

I did something recently I haven’t done in a long time. Kill a hooker. Just kidding. What I actually did was go to a store and purchase a physical copy of a CD. I was in San Fran and we decided to stop by Amoeba for some good old fashion music shopping.
Because I either have pretty much all the music I want at this point, there are very few places I can go and see something that will pique my interest. Amoeba is one of those places. The first thing I got was by this man:


Let me Pimp or Let me Die By Suga Free
http://limelinx.com/files/b7ac57c19a74cba12f3143ae651818bf

Suge free is not for everyone. Not even close. But he’s definitely one of the most entertaining rappers ever. If you’re easily offended, this will not be you shit (don’t sweat that, there’s three songs today, a little something for everyone). He’s the pimpiest of all pimp rappers. Some talk the talk but I feel as though Free has lived this life…and he’s also a genuinely funny motherfucker. I purchased his album
“Sunday School” (2007) at Amoeba and was quite pleased with myself. This song is my pick from that album.


Gather Round By Diamond D
http://limelinx.com/files/64c5a1e67c67f7cf79910ae2c0fc5672

The other album I bought was Diamond D’s oft overlooked second album “Hatred, Passion, and Infidelity”.This album is so overlooked, I lost the cassette sometime in the late 90’s and never bothered re-upping. To be honest, until I bought it at Amoeba, I hadn’t heard it since it came out. It was a step down from his classic debut and I think, at the time, I just kinda brushed it off. Coming back to it, there are definitely some great songs on here. Sure, it misses a fair amount too but, hey, in this day and age, this album would be an album of year contender.


Thuggin’ By Freddie Gibb and Madlib
http://limelinx.com/files/5c2f0100a7ca5cf209984a913f2b9dbd

The final song of this trio isn’t something I purchased but something I recently heard that I feel as if you guys will be into. It’s new , so that covers that base. It’s dope, so that doesn’t hurt. Yeah…so enjoy. Gobble gobble.

Holiday Poll


The holidays are officially upon us. Turkey themed nonsense is everywhere and you can smell the Christmas crap brewing. If you’re like me, you don’t give a fuck about any of this shit. I’m to the point where, if it wasn’t completely socially unacceptable, I’d tell my unborn kid as soon as possible that Santa is bullshit. He/she could still get the gifts but why lie to my kid?
Anyway, In honor of these exciting holidays (and by request from a phat friend reader for some school project) I figured I’d get your take on the holidays through the magic of a poll.
If these polls have taught me anything, not every is like me. Some of you wipe your asses standing up, after jerking off dry to porn with hairy vaginas. So, I wondered what’s consensus for our feelings about the holidays.

Anyway, enjoy your turkey or whatever it is you’ll end up eating. I’m taking the day off tomorrow to honor dead indians and pilgrim racists. I should hope you all do the same.

Answers for questions Vol. 60


Hello everyone. I know you’re all gearing up for Thanksgiving. Or not. Who gives a shit? What’s more important is that we’ve reached volume 60 of this fucking questions blog. I’d like to thank all the people out there who’s spent the time to send me questions ranging from super interesting to mind numbingly terrible. YOu’re all a part of this machine and it’s appreciated.
Anyway send me more questions to Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leve them in the comments below. Also, Send me any “Ask Dr. Tony” questions so I can help fix your retarded love lives.
Anyway, there are some good ones in this batch so enjoy the deep insights to what a piece of shit I was as a single man.

I’ve experienced a strange phenomenon in the past with girls: I lust after them for a long time without any real interest in a relationship. We finally hook up (not even necessarily sex… but even as little as making out/heavy petting). After that, regardless of how far we’ve gone, the conquest is over, and I no longer have any sexual interest whatsoever. Have you experienced this?

Oh god yes. It’s called being single. Personally, it was sex based though. Just hooking up would make me want it more. The problem with this is that girls tend to not be very fond of you fucking them and feeling like you got what you came for.
When I was single I used to call these things “the three week fling”. I even had that in my interests on my personal Myspace page (this was a long time a go). Basically, you meet a girl you’re attracted to but who you also realize immediately that it’s not gonna go anywhere seriously. You hook up with her for about three weeks and it fizzles after that. It’s weird but three weeks was constantly the time frame this worked in. This is when they’d either
a)get sick of you
b)You’d be bored of sex with them
c)they start to catch feelings and you have the “talk” that ends with you two never hooking up again
d)they become an alternate booty call that eventually ends badly.

I can’t stress enough, this shit was like clockwork. Something about that third week. I have no clue what it was. This sounds terrible (Cause it is) but , I found after having sex with a girl on like three different occasions, I was good. It was like an “Okay, I get it…next!” kinda thing. That’s when my interest would wane. unless it was an obvious mistake, once was never enough but four times felt like I was pushing my luck and fucking with her emotions (if there were any getting involved).
I don’t believe in hell but I’d imagine I just made a pretty strong case for myself with this answer.

What do you think of Nas? Love him, overrated, washed up, poor beats, just okay? You can’t hate on Illmatic (though I think he has other great albums).

Obviously , Illmatic is one of the greatest albums ever made. For that, Nas will always be respected.
To be honest though, with the exception of a few songs here and there, I haven’t been checking for Nas over the past decade or so. I don’t doubt he’s made some good music over that period of time but I just don’t care enough to find out. He’s in that group of rappers for me (with guys like Black Thought and Mos Def) who I know are extremely talented yet I never feel like listening to. I can’t really diss any of their music cause they’ve all put out MOSTLY quality stuff for years but it just kinda bores me. I really don’t even know why.

Does your current apartment have roaches? Any personal stories of note about roaches from your years living in NYC?

My apartment has some roaches. I’m on the ground floor so they’re around more than I’d like. However, it’s not that bad. The building has an exterminator come regularly so that helps.
However, the first night I ever slept here (like 10 years ago), I woke up from my first night of slumber to a tickling feeling near my ear. I scratched that shit and there was a huge roach (or waterbug if you’re fancy) crawling on the side of my head. I flipped out and swatted it across the room, grabbed the closest solid object I could find and decimated that motherfucker. That was certainly an extremely jarring way to be welcomed into the house.

Do you ever jerk off on the toilet post-shitting?

What? Please tell me people don’t do that? Do i have to make another poll connecting shitting and masturbation habits?
No. I never do that. Ever. I don’t even jerk off on the toilet in general. There’s not place to rest my laptop.

Saw a little while ago an answer you gave about Daily Routine and the thought behind it. I’m not trying to delve into the mind of the block, but i was wondering what the story is behind the “meals with Blockhead” on Aesop’s Float. I always figure they might represent different times in your careers together, like Breakfast being when you guys started and dinner being where you guys saw yourselves like around now. Would love some explanation.

Ready to be totally disappointed? There is absolutely no deep meaning to those tracks. They were three unfinished beats that we used to space out the album. Cause there were three, I thought using the meal theme made sense. That’s it. Sorry for the lame truth…but sometimes that’s all we have, bro. The lame truth.

Is there any celebrity who you know is completely 100% busted, yet there is some part deep inside you that really wants to fuck them? If no celebrity, has this phenomenon happened to you with someone you know?

“Completely busted” is a strong term. I’m pretty sure I’ve never wanted to fuck anyone who fits that description. Celebrities aren’t real people to me so I’ve always based them strictly off looks. Sure, there are quirky ones who I’ve taken a liking to but none of them were even close to unattractive. In real life , however, I had a time where I was obsessed with girls with dope bodies. The face didn’t matter to me at all. This led to me lusting after girls who, in all reality, I probably didn’t even wanna make out with. I think this comes from just being around the same girls a lot and , if they show enough body over a time period, it’s gonna get you. A single man’s walls are not hard to break down, when it comes to who we’re willing to have sex with. I got a friend who would literally fuck any girl with big tits. She could be a swamp goon but if her breasts were huge, he was all in. Personally, nice breasts attached to a flat stomach would get me every time. and lower back dimples. I suppose we all have our little things.

Quickfire:
1. Yo man, you’re music is not an option in bar jukeboxes…what the fuck?
I’ve seen it on a few very random ones but, let’s be honest, I don’t exactly make good music for places where jukeboxes might be. Not to mention, Jukeboxes tend to overlook niche genres of music. I’d bet Aesop is on a fair amount though.

2. Any takers yet for the new album?
Yup. It’s looking like Ninja tune will be putting it out next year.

3. What can we expect sound-wise for the new shit? A continuation of The Music Scene, a revert back to your older sound, or something new?

The song structure will be similar to “The Music Scene” in that the songs tend to start in one place and end up somewhere completely different. Musically, it’s hard to say. I got all types of different types of songs on there. all different types of moods. But, of all my albums, I’d say it’s most like “The Music Scene”.

4. Thoughts on the NBA lockout?

I think it fucking sucks. I’m not a football guy , Hockey is a joke and I hate all college sports as if they were wedding shows. So I’m not watching any sports right now. I haven’t turned on sportscenter since the Yankess got knocked out of the playoffs. That’s a strange thing for me.
I honestly don’t follow the inner workings of why this lockout is happening but, if I had to guess, it’s rich people being greedy. Whether it’s the players, owners or both (most likely) , I dunno. I don’t really care to be honest. I just want basketball back. I did read something about the players talking how they’re gonna “start a new league” and I pretty much laughed myself into a coma. Yeah, that’ll happen.

Song of the day 11/18/11


Listen to the drums By Isaac Redd Holt Unlimited
http://limelinx.com/files/1eacef3ccec93b0e9e39a9bd54c4a664

I haven’t put a soul/funk song up here in a long ass time. Mainly cause I haven’t been hearing much new (but old) stuff lately. Is the internet out of jewels? I hope not. If you got a good blog/website with dope rare old soul/funk/reggae lemme know. I need some new (old) music to listen to.

Anyway, this song is the joint. Enjoy.

The making of The Party Fun Action Committee Part 1


A while back I wrote a piece about the making of “Labor Days“. Pretty much the most known album I’ve ever been a part of. Continuing with that idea, let’s take a look at the least known project I’ve ever been a part of. Of course, I’m speaking of the album “Let’s get serious” By The Party Fun Action Committee. For those who don’t know, that is a comedy/parody album that Definitive Jux records released in late 2003.
Because this album is long out of print , I have no problems hitting you with a link to download it for free:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NTX6WQSD
Besides, assuming most of you have no clue what I’m talking about (in reference to this album), this will be a great help.

This album was the making of Jeremy Gibson AKA Jer AKA Sir Jarlsberg and myself. It was basically a collection of songs making fun of people and/or genre’s that were popular in that era. It may seem dated now, but it was pretty on point when we initially made it. So, let’s get serious and look into the making of “Let’s get serious”.

The group name

Before making humorous music together, Jer and I we part of an ensemble cast on a public access show on MNN (manhattan neighborhood networks). The shows was basically all my friends fucking around, making skits and doing voice overs of other tv shows. It was childish and offensive but it also was awesome. It’s a shame/gift that the internet wasn’t around back then like it is now, cause there are no clips of any of that shit online.
Anyway, In one of the skits, we played a break dancing team. At the time, one of the characters was wearing a Phat Farm shirt that read “PFAC”. Not 100% sure what that actually stood for (Probably some shit like “Phat Farm activity clothing”) but we came up with “Party Fun Action COmmittee” as our break dancing crews name in this movie based on those letters. About 5 years later, we were stuck trying to figure out what to name our group and that name jumped out at us. It made perfect sense.

The early years

Initially, Jer and I just made these funny songs for our own enjoyment. In fact, the majority of that album was recorded long before it was ever released. The song “Back n Da Dayz” was originally recorded around 95. That was the first song we made. Around that time, we made another song called “The dunz” featuring Aesop. It never came out cause , by the time we were releasing the album, the “dun” era of rap had already been over for like 5 years. However, recently, someone got it and posted it up on youtube. So ,here’s that:

That shit is maaaaaaad dated so forgive us but, at the time, we thought it was pretty funny. Pardon the quality as it was recorded on cassette 4-track in my moms house.
Anyway, those were our first two songs and we eventually started throwing some more together. Most of those earlier songs were not featured on the album cause they were too offensive or didn’t fit the concept. I’ll get to those later.

How we got signed to Def Jux

We never made these songs thinking anyone but our friends would hear them. It was just some shit we did for fun. Around 2002, we had about 6 or 7 completed songs. By that time, Aesop was blowing up and I was pretty familiar with the Jux dudes. I believe one day , El-P was at my crib and I played him a few of the songs just for fun. I’m not 100% if he said it there on the spot but he was like “Yo, I’ll put this shit out.”
We were pretty shocked at that offer and jumped all over it. Granted not a single penny was made from this album (by us or Jux) but it was totally worth it just to get this released at all. In a strange way, I’ve always felt partially responsible for the eventual Def Jux Backlash. PFAC was the first album they put out that, not only got panned by fans and critics alike, but that strayed from the Jux aesthetic that had made them so popular. Soon after our album dropped, I noticed more angry Jux fans. Especially people wondering why the fuck they put out a comedy record. but you know what? fuck those people.

Making the album

After we knew someone was gonna put it out, Jer and I focused and started making the rest of the album. Instead of just making random songs about whatever, we started targeting things. R-Kelly’s pissing scandal had just happened , as well as our basic take on the rap of the era. We wanted to spread the hate as widely as possible. Not just dissing the mainstream but the underground as well. Once we had all the songs recorded (I’ll get to a rundown of those in a future post) we had to tie it all together. So, we came up with the idea of being two dipshits from a record label that were going through demo tapes. These two characters were pretty much created on the spot and every word of us talking on the record was improvised. Granted, we certainly edited a lot out but all the skits were off the dome.
We basically went with the “a mountain climber who plays an electric guitar” model that Gza spoke about. From there, it was a free for all.

The beats

A common misconception about this record is that I made all the beats. I did do some of them but mostly the short skit beats. Any long song (aside from “beer” and “back in the dayz”) was done by Jer. He was a master at mimicking genre’s. In fact, he nailed the “Rap-rock” one so hard it’s pretty much impossible to listen too. That shit is Amazing/awful…but that was entirely the point.
In my eyes, Jer’s production on that album was the secret star.

Recording/mixing the album

The album was recorded on a digital 8 track. Some were done at my crib and few at Jer’s dads crib. The songs were recorded over such a long period of time, I honestly don’t remember what happened where, for the most part.
The album was mixed by our boy Baby Dayliner, in his kitchen. This may have been the longest process of mixing I’ve ever been through. Not cause anyone was lagging but because we really went into great detail on these songs. I can easily say I’ve never worked more intensely on anything musical than I did this album. An instrumental album is a walk in the park by comparison.

Jer: The slowest man alive
Speaking of lagging…
Jer is one of my oldest friends and , as long as I’ve known him, he’s always been one of those “Always late” guys. As I am an “always early” guy, this proved to be pretty fucking infuriating when trying to mix this album (and otherwise). He would show up HOURS late some days while Baby Dayliner and I were just waiting there like assholes. It got to the point where we’d tell him we’d be starting at 1 pm, but actually plan to meet at 2. in some 6th sense asshole way, he still managed to be late every time, strolling in casually eating a bagel like he did nothing wrong.

Not everything can go on the album…

When the album was done, we handed it in to the label. There were three songs that were going to be an issue. The first was the song “gertrude”. We understood this one being cut as it was the most offensive song ever made. The second, however, bummed us out. It was “Cream dreams”. Sure, this song was us being over the top gay and rapping about gay stuff gayly but it was clearly tongue in cheek and , in our eyes, not a hateful song. A few heads at the label (and on the publicity side) disagreed so we cut it off the album at the last second. They were expecting picket lines and anger…when, in reality, no one ever really heard the album enough to get offended by it. Obviously, I understand their reservations. It was their label and , especially at that time, something like that could have caused problems. It’s too bad cause we had already shot the album cover by the time it was removed and my “fat freddie Mercury” guy in the lower left corner pretty much went to waste.

The last song that got cut was a parody of the Jurassic 5 called “The mesozoic 7”. Basically, there were worries that they wouldn’t be down with the joke and people down with the label were cool with them so, it seemed unnecessary to put it on. I understood that and kept it moving.

The art work and photo shoot

Both Jer and I were pretty clueless as to how records got made and the stages involved. We had to make cover art and we had come up with the idea of a brady bunch like set up where different characters from the album would appear in the boxes. This meant we got to dress up and become these people. We had a costume girl, a make up girl and photographer. This was, in our eyes, some big time shit. We shot the pics in some Williamsburg hovel.
Both Jer and I had a major crush on the costume girl, who turned out to be David Cross’s girlfriend at the time. She was even featured at the passed out girl between the two frat brothers in one of the pics from the inside cover. She was a hot ginger and really funny.
This whole process was actually lots of fun. It was, perhaps, the last time I had fun doing anything remotely close to that cause press photo’s are typically the fucking worst.
Another bright side to all this was that Jer boned the Make up girl a bunch of times. Score one for the team.

Fancy mastering

After the album was complete, we were treated to get it mastered at the world famous Hit factory. Prior to this, I didn’t even really understand what mastering meant. I assumed it involved wires for some reason. Like it was the final wiring of the albums fibers or something.
We went into this huge studio with a billion gold records hanging on the walls and mastered an album that was subsequently a 50 minute long gay joke. It was pretty insane. The elevator was like a huge boat. Everything was wooden.
The dude who did the mastering a weirdo named “tippy”. Tippy was a nice enough dude but he was really angry and prone to tangents. on more than one occasion, we’d be sitting there trying to listen to a song to master it and he’d stop and rant about something or another. I particularly recall him going off on how to make vinyl and why so and so presses shitty vinyl. Jer, baby Dayliner and myself could not have cared less, did nothing to continue this conversation but he kept at it. I dunno what was up with that. Perhaps he was molested by a crate of records as a child or something. Regardless of all that, I gotta wonder what he must have been thinking when he mastered that record.
I do have a fond memory of him playing us the freshly mastered S.A. Smash record before it had dropped. We listened to that shit almost more than out own record that night.

This went on way too long so I’mma split it up into two parts.
The next installment will be the stories behind the actual songs. Hopefully I’ll get Jer to add something to this all.

The porn Star Questionnaire: Asa Akira


Welcome to another addition of the Porn Star Questionnaire. The last one , with Kristina Rose was pretty much one of the most read posts I ever did so here’s another one for you. Coincidentally, this is my girlfriend LEAST favorite article.
Just to remind you, this is just a bunch of random questions I put together to ask porn stars. While it may seem like a Maxim article at times, I stressed to them to be honest and not give me the penthouse forum answers.
Today’s installment features the lovely Asa Akira. Not only is she awesome in general but she’s also a New yorker , which is kinda rare for girls in porn. Let’s see what Asa has to say

Name?
– Asa Akira
 
Age?
– 26

Height?
-5’1 
 
 
Where you from?
-My nationality is Japanese, i was born and raised in NYC : )

ABOUT YOU

Do you read much?(I’d ask what books but I don’t read shit so I don’t really care)
-I do! every night to go to sleep. my favorite is Chuck Palahniuk (In case anyone else cares.)

Do you watch a shit load of TV? If so, what shows?
-Hell yah! I love it all. I love the good shows, like on showtime and HBO, but i like the really shitty stuff too, like on bravo.

Do you watch porn on your own time? 
-Yup. I watch all of my own porn. Aside from that, i go through phases.. Right now i like to watch anal porn a lot.

What kind of music do you listen to mostly?
-I’ve been listening to pretty much all of the same music since highschool. A lot of underground hip hop. But a lot of Britney too.

How often do you exercise?
 
– Every single day. My biggest fear is to get fat. (Don’t judge me.)

Can you do 10 man style push ups?
Easily. 
 
– PERSONAL TASTE

What’s your type? (IE: Skater, rock dude, MMA fighter, Nerd, Questionably straight)
-Funny!!!!!!! Everything else is secondary.

What’s good height for a dude?
-I dont care. Taller than me. Which is everyone.

You down with fat guys?
-I’m always down for anything that makes me feel skinnier.

What race is your favorite? (it’s ok, no one will think you’re racist)
-I honestly dont have one. I swear. Except I’m done with Puerto Ricans. I have bad luck with them.

How important is a male’s body hair situation?
-I like body hair. If you have it, dont shave it.

Girls always talk about how important a guys hands are. That’s bullshit, right?
-Huh?

(having a hard time forgiving the Kobe jersey but I’ll let it go)
PENIS SIZE:
This is a hot topic for men. Pretty much, no matter what they say, every dude alive wants to know these answers cause we’re all obsessed with our own penis. Is it childish?  fuck yeah. But trust me, this will be the most closely read part of this entire interview. PLEASE be honest.

If you had to pick, 5 inches and thick or 10 inches and thin?
-5 inches and thick. 10 inches is too long for every day usage.

On a scale of one to ten, how much does size really matter to you?
-i would say 10. But as long as it’s not too big or too little, it’s all good : )

Name a porn guy who’s dick is too big (if there is such a thing)
-There is such a thing. I think they are all nice, to have from time to time. But to fuck everyday… Manuel, Nacho, Everhard… a lot of them are too big.
 
Crooked dicks: A problem or something you can work with?
-I’ve never seen one so crooked it affected sex.

The BUSINESS

Do you feel like you constantly wanna smack the shit out of most of the other actresses in the business or do you find you get along with most of them?

-I get along w/ most of them. I have a high tolerance for people, i think it helps. 

Has what has gone down in scene ever led to a fist fight with another girl who you had just done that scene with?
-No, haha!

Who is your favorite male performer to work with?
– I love all the European guys, they are great lovers.. Toni Ribas, Mick Blue, Manuel Ferrara, Nacho Vidal, Keiran Lee… I also love me some Erik Everhard, Mr Pete, James Deen… Mr Marcus is really fucking good… Lex is so sexy… I also just worked w/ Ryan Driller for the first time the other day, and i think he might be the most handsome person i’ve ever seen in real life. Along w/ Charles Dera. 
 

How often to people fart during scenes? And how do you stop laughing when that happens?

-Haha i’ve never seen that happen!! 

How long were you working before you felt comfortable in front of the camera?

-My first scene felt so natural and comfortable already. I feel like i was born to do this. It sounds corny as hell but I’m serious!!

What’s the best place to film? indoors? outdoors? on a bed? On a kitchen table?  on top of a freshly killed Elk (I’ve seen this video…it exists)?

-Honestly, indoors on a bed is my favorite. Or on the floor on a soft carpet. It makes it like a free-for-all, you can just do whatever u want, you’re not limited due to furniture, weather, heat, sun, etc.

Is a DP scene ever worth it? And do you secretly thing the two dudes doing it are kind of gay?
 
-I fucking love DP. I always say i feel bad for boys cause they dont have a vagina, and therefor will never know the sensation of DP. I dont think it’s gay at all. The men are in a woman. What’s gay about that?

GETTIN’ FUCKED UP!
We all like to get our buzz on. Well, not all of us but most of us. 

What’s your drug of choice?

-I dont do drugs anymore. In highschool i did a lot. Of everything. Special K was my favorite.
 
You a drinker? If so, like a party time drinker or one of those motherfuckers that likes wine?

-I’ve been drunk maybe 5 times in my life. I hate it, always have.

PERSONAL SEX LIFE
Cant’ stress the honesty point enough…

You gotta man?
-No 

Has fucking on camera made off camera sex better or worse for you?
-Better. I get it less, so i appreciate it more. It’s a totally different experience. Much more intimate, obviously.

Do you actually enjoy anal? Do you do it in your normal sex life? If so, how long did it take get to the point where you liked it?

-I LOVE anal sex. Getting used to it was like losing my virginity all over again… It took about 20 times to really start liking it. It hurt at first, but i just kept thinking “soon it’s gonna be so fucking good.”

Favorite position? 
-Missionary. It’s the most intimate… I like to look at my partners face. Also, it’s a good position for getting choked.

Scale of 1-10 how much do you like just laying in bed with a dude you like and making out for hours?

-Depends on the guy. If im into him… 10!!!!

As for cumming, do you find you get off better from clitoral stimulation, getting fucked with a penis, a mixture of both or you’re not someone who cums much (or at all)? 
– I am definitelly someone who cums a lot, and fairly easily. When i masturbate, i cum from clitoral stimulation. But i cum much harder from actual penetration.

Do you do the gagging on a dick thing in your normal sex life?
-No. Unless it’s requested.

Cum: Is it at all gross to you?
-No way!

Are you actually bi-sexual in the sense that you would date another woman?
-Emotionally, no. Sexually, yes. So the answer to your question is no. Haha.

Does it bug you out when you meet a fan and you just know he’s masturbated to you? or is that somehow a turn on?
-It’s actually my favorite thing about porn. It’s why i do it. I love thinking about guys jerking off to me. When a fan says to me “I just jerked it to you last night…” it’s even better than the actual sex. Im weird, i know.

CELEBRITY

Assuming you’re on twitter, do many celebrities ever try and fuck you via DM on Twitter?
-A few have contacted me. I’ve never met up w/ anyone though.

In real life, have you ever been hit on by anyone super famous? Name names?
-Not that i can think of. sorry!

If you could fuck one famous person, who would it be?
-Jack nicholson 30 years ago

If you could kill one famous person (and get away with it) who would it be?
-The girl from “little miss sunshine.” She is so irritating! I think she is easily the most annoying child actor of all time. Abby something…

If you had to fuck one dude from Jersey shore, who would it be?
-I am a total TV whore, but i dont watch Jersey Shore!!! 

(How is that possible!??!!?!)
 
Without naming names, have multiple famous married men offered you money for sex?
-No. You’re making me sound so lame right now. Don’t make me end it like this! Haha.

For more on Asa Peep www.AsaAkira.com.
If you a real fan and would like to have sex with her but can’t because you’re not a male porn star, go cop her fleshlight (Here NSFW)
Also, check out her latest big movie “Asa Akira is Insatiable Part 2” from Elegant Angel.
Photo’s by Van Styles http://vanstyles.com/blog/