Ask Dr. Tony Vol. 8



Hello everyone. I’m back with some terrible advice. Something I’ve forgotten to do in these recent posts is stress that I’m not a licensed anything. There is no medical background to any of this advice so , if you take it and your life ends up in squalor, don’t come looking to sue my ass. You’re the moron taking advice from a hip hop producers blog. That said, i think I’m usually on point and fair so, take that for what it is as well.
Also, I’m running low on questions! Send me new ones. If you got problems of a romantic nature, need a mans perspective on some girly issue you got going on, or need me to tell you to shit or get off the pot, let’s do this…
email questions to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com
And, on with the program…

I am currently having this crazy internal struggle as to whether I should let this girl know I have feelings for her. Here are the problems I have with this;

A) She’s my best friend and I really don’t want to ruin that if theirs no chance of us being in a relationship.

B) She has made it known that she does not want to be involved in a relationship of any sort at the time. ( I have an inside source that has confirmed this )

C) She’s 19 and I’m 24, yeah I know.

The other thing is that she may very well know how I feel already ( told a friend of hers in a drunken rant ) and is just trying to ignore it so we can keep on the same page as we are right now. I may also be completely over analyzing everything.

Basically, What would you do (sans marc summers)? Logic tells me that I should wait until shes a bit older and has a more mature head on her shoulders. But I also know logic plays no roll in these things.

It’s pretty clear that all signs point to leaving it alone. From what I gather, there has been nothing she’s done that would make you think what you two have is anything more than a friendship. I think your instincts are right in thinking she’s aware of it (they usually are) and ignoring it.
It sucks but sometimes you just gotta take the loss in these kind of situations. Not every girl is gonna like every guy that likes her. In fact, they usually prefer the guy that doesn’t like them. Especially young girls.
So, feel free to give it some time. Maybe she’ll come around but , the reality is , she might not and probably won’t. Unless you get rich and famous…then you can piss in her eyes and she’ll thank you.
The more pressing question here is why is your “best friend” a 19 year old girl? That sounds fucking terrible.

there’s this girl in my class who is soooooo hot but she is 20 (i’m 25)… and yeah.. she is actually retarded. still, i just wanna fuck her but i don’t think we could even be friends… and i have to see her everyday till one of us is done with the college.

i don’t really give a fuck about it, as i know i don’t like her and she is 5 years younger than me, have nothing to share with her, etc… but i’m scared that one of these days i will be drunk and it will just happen… should i keep avoiding it or just go for it???

thx Mr Dr Love!!!

This depends on a few things.
1)Does she “like” you. meaning, if you fucked her would she want more out of it.
2)How well do you handle slightly awkward situations?

If she has a legit crush on you, you fuck her and then don’t date her, it’ll be a bad scene for a little bit. but, eventually , all parties will move on. Its not like she’s gonna sit there stewing over that drunken mistake she made in her freshman year for the entirety of college. She’ll get older, wiser, fuck tons of other dudes and forget you ever dogged her out in the first place. Sure, you won’t be friends but, like you said, that’s not really an option anyway.
My advice would be to not be afraid to do it but , once the deed is done, be respectful of her feelings, This doesn’t mean date her out of guilt but be straight up with her. For all you know, you could have just landed the worlds greatest booty call. For all you know, she thinks you’re a disgusting pig. You’ll never really know until you do it.
Basically, go for it but don’t be a dick about it afterwards. Honesty in these kind of situations in the great equalizer cause , if you’ve never lied to them, everything is out in the open and harder to misunderstand.

At the moment I’m single and having a tough time meeting girls. It’s kind of hard to admit this, but I met my ex-girlfriend on a dating website. So I was wondering if should take the same route and join one of those stupid sites again to try to find girls. I have the hardest time just meeting girls when I go out and I only have guy friends so the chance of meeting a girl thru my friends or going out is close to non-existant. So my question is what do you recommend I should do to meet girls? I don’t want to meet a girl at a club or a bar because that only means that that girl wants to be out and about and clubbing all the time and that’s not my type of girl. Or should I just stick to randomly trying to meet somebody online? Sorry that this question/commentary makes close to no sense but I just want to know what you would do to try to meet new girls.

There was a time when meeting people on the internet was considered the “dungeons and dragons” of pussy getting. However, I’d say that stigma is long gone at this point. Everyone meets people online nowadays. Whether it be chatting up some girl you met once on facebook , hooking up with strangers from craig’s list or dating people off of match.com. So, I’d say have no shame in jumping right back into that. You sound like someone who has very particular interests (IE: you’re not a party guy/very social) so a dating website seems perfect for you. Don’t have any shame in that.
I’m probably older than you but I have a bunch of friends who are on those things and they do well for themselves…and I know a few girls on them as well who are legitimately attractive/cool so it’s not like you’re sifting through pages of psychotic narwhal’s.

I could make this story long as hell but ill keep to to a paragraph. So I met this girl about 4 years ago through one of my guy friends. We hung out a time or two and got drunk one night and hooked up in her dorm room. It was an awkward morning because I honestly had no interest in this girl other than being a friend and was well wayyy to drunk and was thinking with my dick. So she called me the next day and asked if I could come over and talk. When I got there she ranted for like 20 min about how much she liked me and wanted to know how I felt. I felt teriible telling her that I saw her as nothing more than a friend but I didnt want to lead her on anymore than I already had. Well she got pissed and started crying and got way depressed and quit talking to me for a while. Then she text me one day a few months and we started hanging out again as friends and then all the sudden she tells me she still really likes me and asks if I like her. I said I saw her only as a friend still, she responded with, I dont think I can be your friend anymore cause I like you to much and you dont like me back. So i was like ahh ok. I ended up quitting my job a little bit later and bought a VW bus and drove it around the country for a few months and then moved to south dakota and chicago and then phoenix. While i was doing all this moving we kept in touch and she actually came out to see me in south dakota. And pretty much told me the same thing she always has when she was heading back home.. I cant do this anymore i like you to much and its killing me that you dont feel the same. Blah blah blah..So we had been talking for quite a few months recently and bout a month ago she text me and gave this shpeeel about a bunch of girl shit and said she couldnt talk to me anymore…the usual..Well i moved to Portland since that last text convo and just yesterday she text me again asking if we could catch up and what not and then called me. I ignored everything.. She is a cool girl to hang out with and is a good friend and we have quite a few mutual friends and she actually talks to my mom too. Now my question is..should I just not respond to anything and hope she gets over me. Or respond and see what happends?

Damn bro. She’s obsessed. I mean, is there any chance she’s gonna see you and not start telling you she loves you? Probably not. I’ve never been a big proponent of straight up ignoring people you’re friends with but you do have to set the record straight with her once and for all. Because she obviously can’t handle being in the same room with you without becoming a mess, I’d suggest an email. Instead of her constantly giving you the emotional ultimatum , you give her one. Be like “listen, we’re good friends but i feel like as long as you have feelings for me, this cannot work a a friendship”. Obviously, flower that sentence up a little and make it nicer but that’s the gist.After all, what do you really have to lose? If she were to never contact you again, I’m pretty sure life would go on just fine.
To be honest, you guys met through a one night stand and your whole relationship has apparently been based on her chasing you. That doesn’t sound like much of a friendship. It sounds like a a pathetic girl and a dude who’s trying to do the right thing but also doesn’t mind having his ego stroked. Be honest. She’s not a “good friend”. She’s a girl you fucked who like you way more that you like her. Cutting her off will be in both of your best interests. Just try and do it with some sympathy.

5 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Tony Vol. 8

  1. Quick question. Is there a set number of years between two peoples age before its weird for them to hook up? For instance I am 32, I work at a bar, and this 23 year old keeps coming in that wants to go out. Is that too much of an age gap? I am not trying to make her my girl or anything, just don’t want to be some dirty old man.

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