Old virgins are creepy



http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/virgin-diaries-practice-makes-perfect.html
(for some reason I can’t figure out the embed function…so you’re gonna have to click it…sorry!)

If you’ve been on the internet for the last week or so, you’ve very likely seen the clip of the two virgins sharing their first kiss over , after taking each others hands in marriage. While the kiss itself is more uncomfortable than a thousand erotic back rubs from your drunken uncle , there is a certain sweetness to it. It harkens back to a time when you were younger…you know, like 12 or 13 years old. When the playing field was even for all cause the majority of kids that age are virgins with little or no sexual history. I remember that moment of teeth banging into each other as I nervously fumbled through my first kiss. It was horrible and beautiful at the same time (more relieving that anything, really). But here’s the thing, I was a child. Childhood is all about these kind of discoveries. It’s during that time when people learn the most basic parts of sexual interaction. Granted, that interaction eventually will often turn into all sorts of foul shit, but it’s beginnings are basically innocent.
This is why I’ve always been bugged out by old virgins. It’s like people who didn’t have a childhood. Now, there are a few exceptions to this rule where being an old virgin is not totally strange:
1)If you’re religious and think you should wait till marriage, more power to you. i think you’re crazy but you 100% have the right to live you life the way you see fit.

2)If you were sexually abused or raped as a child. I can easily see how this might turn one sour to all things intimate. while that kinda thing tends to work the opposite and these victims often act out the other way, there are other girls/boys who just go into a sexual cocoon after something as horrible as that happens.

3)Some medical condition like your vagina is inside out or something. I dunno if that exists but I know girls and guys can both have problems down there that are beyond their control.

4)You are just really terrible looking and no one will fuck you. If this is the case, I’m sorry. But, at the same time, there comes a time when you just gotta bite the bullet and pay for sex. If you’re 30 years old, desperately wanting to fuck someone (anyone) and it’s looking bleak for the future, make an investment in yourself. There’s no shame in that. You deserve it.

Other than those four reasons, any other one I can think of is rooted in fear and insecurity. I can relate to this. I lost my virginity when I was 16. A good amount of my friends had already done it and I was eager to just get it out of the way. Granted, I was also a living and breathing boner (as most 16 year olds are) but the idea of going through with the act was both exciting and terrifying. When I eventually did it, i was pretty drunk and the girl who did it with me was no novice. I’d be lying if I said it was very special but , hey, it counted and that’s all that mattered to me.
The thing is, I feel like those kind of emotions are normal for teenagers. It’s like you gotta just get things out of the way so you can eventually enjoy them later. For girls, this is especially true. Losing your Virginity for girls sounds like hell. I was always bugged out by guys who prided themselves on taking a girls V-card. That’s the last thing I’d ever wanna do. It’s like “what’s that? really awkward sex where the other person is whimpering in pain and you have to stop and start a lot just to eventually bust a nut of despair? SIGN ME UP!”.
All these feelings are part of growing up. So, when you take someone who’s like 25+ and has never had sex, things get weird. First off, that pressure you once felt as a kid about sex was never released. It’s just been building more and more over time. This only gets worse the longer they wait. These people start to gather all these negative feelings towards sex that they can’t even really understand cause they’ve never done it in the first place.
Basically, they make it more important than it needs to be. In most cases of people I know who lost their virginities late the response has been either “Oh, that’s it?” or “why the fuck did I wait so long?!?!”. I don’t think I’ve ever met an old virgin ,who was a virgin for no reason, who was like “phew, glad I wasn’t doing this thing 5 years ago!”. It’s one of those things , like getting drunk or smoking weed for the first time, where you do it and , all of a sudden, everything makes sense. Now you see why certain people act the way they do. Now you understand why people are in shitty relationships or why people do down low things. Cause sex is awesome. Sex is a powerful thing while, at the same time, really not that serious. I suppose it’s only as serious as you make it. It dictates many things we do in life (and makes babies) but the act itself is just some carnal desire being acted out. Basically, like the great Ray Parker Jr. once said in the theme to “Ghostbusters”- “Bustin’ makes me feel good”.

If it feels good and isn’t harming you or the person involved, why deny yourself that? I know there are plenty of reasons people might give me in response to that question but I still contend they’re mostly steeped in fear and emotional weakness. If you can’t “handle” the idea of sharing something that intimate with another person, fine. But realize, you’re kinda fucked in the head. It has everything to do with your problems and nothing to do with the act of intercourse.

Explaining this to a virgin is like trying to explain why hamburgers taste good to a lifelong vegan. It’s something they’re not gonna understand until they actually try it for themselves.

So, to all you old virgins out there, what are you waiting for really? You’re not special. Your penis or vagina is also not special. Put that thing to work and stop being a little hoe about it.

43 thoughts on “Old virgins are creepy

  1. As a teenager I was one of those proud of raking up the V-card count. It was never about the actual sex for me when taking a V-card. Of course I regret it now as a grown man, but it had some to do with the chase but mostly it was about the pride. The pride of thinking; “She’ll always remember me” which was extremely conceded even for a 15 to 17 year old jackass. Now that I’m older I realize that it really doesn’t mean shit in the long run.

  2. For those that think they’re too ugly to get laid without procuring the services of a prostitute, my suggestion is that you enroll in college. If you can’t get laid at college, then you may never have unpaid sex.

  3. I agree with you on just about everything. Especially, that shit about dudes taking a girl’s virginity.

    That said… fuck you for making me aware of that video, Block. I feel like I got violated man. That shit blew my high (and I haven’t even gotten high yet).
    That being said, I’m probably gonna show like 7 people that shit today… So thanks, kinda.

  4. I just turned 30 two days ago (12/6/1981). I’m one of those “fucked in the head” virgins. Never even kissed a girl. My reasons for this are a cumulation of misfortunes including ugliness, religious confusion (the only muslim in my class), being indian in a mostly white school (in Texas), being pudgy, etc.
    I’ve honestly been on the fence about becoming more religious to give my pathetic life purpose, or getting an escort (or just offing myself). I feel like self indulgence is equal to revenge. I was picked on a lot. I mean, why not just shoot the people I hate? They deserve it. Its similar to getting a hooker and saying I deserve it. I’m probably just going to live out my mediocre life and play video games.

    • I dunno…I think fucking a hooker to lose your virginity is slightly different than killing people you hate. Just saying…
      I feel for your situation. That sucks. But, you’re not holding out on sex cause of some moral of spiritual bullshit. It sounds to me like you haven’t even had a chance and you’re socially awkward. That’s a different case entirely and you fall into the category of people I mentioned in the blog as getting a pass. I wish you the best and say never give up hope. Sex is fun.

    • I know where you’re coming from myself… Also turned 30 within the last month, and am that myself. It feels embarassing, and a shame to admit it. Look at one of life’s losers! Come and see the show! Had some fucked up teenage years that made the whole idea of sex become scary. Difficult ish. Got whole other connotations which make it difficult to overcome. Social awkwardness whatever don’t help me out, and it all feels futile. Being scared of the whole thing don’t help either.

      Guess I just gotta hold out, or give up. Lucky other commitments mean I don’t got to think about it often, but it ain’t ever easy to think about. Still what can I do? Fuck knows. I don’t want to do hooker ish. Not my thing. It is what it is.

  5. “So, to all you old virgins out there, what are you waiting for really? You’re not special. Your penis or vagina is also not special. Put that thing to work and stop being a little hoe about it. ”

    I’m 22 and a virgin, I’m waiting until I meet someone that I care about and trust. Why shouldn’t I? I’m not going to feel pressurised into doing something I don’t feel ready to do just because some people think I’m ‘creepy’. If you’re having lots of fun sex then I honestly think that’s cool but it’s pretty childish to blast other people for waiting until they feel comfortable enough to do the same.

    Peace.

    • First off, you’re 22. While that’s old for being a virgin, it’s not even close to old. and it’s the oldness that makes it creepy.
      Secondly, I understand where you’re coming from but my point is that, once you have sex, there’s a high probability that you’re gonna be like “wait..i waited for this for what reason?” Sex, as an act, is not special. When you fuck someone you care about, it is. But those are two different things.

      • Fair enough. I don’t view sex as a magical act that will change my life forever; I just think that when I take my clothes off and throw my dick in a vagina I should have a good emotional relationship with the owner of said vagina. It’s just the way that I feel and I can’t help it, I haven’t sat down and thought about it. I think when people are old virgins its a shame but its not in itself creepy.

        Having said that, I’m sure a lot of creepy old people also tend to be virgins (caue vs correlation).

  6. I personally think it’s creepy how much emphasis/respect/importance our culture places on being a virgin, and especially on women.

  7. I was raised in a family from a culture that’s biased towards sons (take a guess), thus sons are sheltered with near-total financial support until they can become independent. When I was growing up, I saw the effects of this mentality on my own and other families: a 36-year-old law school graduate who never held a job yet loved showing off “his” 5 Benzes to guests while living in his parents’ basement, the uncle with no savings account, 2 kids, and a $900,000+ house entirely paid for by his parents, and the skater kid across the street who paid for weed and date gifts using money… from his parents.

    After entering a high school in a rich suburban neighborhood, I encountered more characters like the skater kid–those who could coast through life in their dad’s BMW on the way to the movies with their date, get wasted on Xanax, and total the car with little consequence. The date was typically a fake-baked Abercrombie model wannabe with an advertising executive for a dad. Personal image is a big part of attraction and cliques in high school, and middle-class kids like myself quickly learned that spitting game at these rich girls was a waste of time. They thought of themselves as 9s on the 10 scale and wanted a 9 to take home to dad, complete with lacrosse team membership and a private yacht. Granted, there were cool ones, but as the saying goes: the cool ones are always taken.

    That left us middle class kids to fuck amongst ourselves and the pickings were slim for easy V-card destruction: the heroin-addled goth chick, the stoner girl with cerebral palsy, and the cute olive-skinned girl who kept eying me in history class with a reputation for good BJs. I was planning on asking her out until my friend mentioned that he busted a nut in her weeks ago without a condom. And she wasn’t on birth control. Faced with STD paranoia and dire dating/fucking prospects, I did the only thing left worth doing in high school: keep my eyes focused on textbooks until it was Over.

    I realized how hard my parents worked to make it in this country and decided I wasn’t going to a take a girl out on their dime, no exceptions. I was keen on building a completely self-made image, so I busted my ass off through high school and college with the goal of going to med school. The dinners, movie tickets, and car I’d drive to a date were going to be on my dime, even if that meant bypassing years of parties where losing a V-card was a cheap and easy endeavor. Call me old school or whatever, but back then I was adamant about dating as a prelude to sex. It just seemed less awkward than the “drink-and-bang” routine most of my friends went through.

    Juggling between school and a part time job left virtually no time for romance through those years. I’m 24 now. The economy is shit, I work in a lab for peanuts, and while my college grades were decent, med schools in my country are flooded with applicants, pushing entrance averages close to 95%. I didn’t make the cut and while I’m reapplying next year, I’ve stopped giving a shit about going 100% self made before taking a girl out–I figure that having bought everything in my apartment except my car with my own money is okay. With a couple of numbers, decent game, and liquid courage, this whole V-card business might be over with by New Years Eve.

    • First off, holy cool story ,bro!
      Secondly, the fact that you WANT to have sex takes you out of the conversation. The people I’m complaining about are the ones who make up bullshit reasons why they shouldn’t and talk themselves out of it.
      I’d imagine, if the right opportunity came during high school or college, you would have done it. It’s not like you were ona high horse talking about sex as something you relate to, even though you’re a virgin. It just seems like you’ve been working really hard and focused on other things.
      I wish you luck. Cause once you get into the groove, it’s definitely gonna weaken your focus on lots of things. But after 24 years, treat yourself. Sex is awesome.

  8. “Basically, like the great Ray Parker Jr. once said in the theme to “Ghostbusters”- “Bustin’ makes me feel good”.” – May be the funniest shit I’ve read all week, and I’ve been reading David Cross’s book.

  9. You really put into words why I feel like such a wreck, like I’ve spent so long in this state of emotional paralysis and now I don’t know how to get out. I should get a hooker but that could just as likely deaden the last part of my soul. I just want to get it over with, I’m done.

  10. I just watched the clip…SUPER MAINEY!! But I’m thinking about how ironic it will be if some of these people they feature are gonna be acting all holier than thou about how sacred they hold their virginity but yet they are willing to TELL THE WHOLE WORLD ON TELEVISION ABOUT THEM LOSING IT!?!? and go in detail of what they plan on doing(“we’ll both have robes on..and then foreplay…and then the strap on…) That makes no sense to me. It’s so special and sacred that they will sell it to a network for ratings. CRAZY WORLD MAN.

    But my message to some of the responses you got from the 30 year old virgins on here…

    Dudes & Dudettes…THERE IS ASS FOR EVERYONE. Socially akward or not. fugly or not. If you find yourself a “social misfit” then seek out other “social misfits”. If you are ugly seek out a mate that’s ugly. It’s a great way to bond (although never mention that’s what you have in common with them). Work your way up the ladder. Each success will breed more confidence. Who knows you might even find a soul mate. I have seen it with my own eyes..EVERYONE HAS SOMEONE or SOMEONES out there that will skeeze them. Maybe you are not searching in the right places or your standards are JUST WAY TO HIGH for someone as socially hideous as yourself. Come back down to earth and grab you something within reach. Also, I don’t recommend losing your virginity to a prostitute but then again if you add up all the money money and time it might take you to get laid from a non-professional..a prostitute may be a good look.
    ADVANTAGES:
    1. You don’t need to worry if your gonna get some.
    2. Your performance does’nt matter. 1hr or 1minute “THAT WAS AMAZING”
    3. Ask her or her for some lessons. Your trying out for JV with hopes for Varsity. You need a coach.
    4. If it turns out to be a horrible experience who cares. She’s gone and you don’t have to see or talk to her or any of her friends again. “On to the next one..on to the next one”

    DO THE KNOWLEDGE…Sex isn’t everything but it’s pretty much everything else.
    Good Luck.

    P.S. Block you’re the man.

  11. Is it weird to be making out with tons of chicks, but never dropping the hammer? I don’t know, I’ve always been paranoid about fucking some sea donkey for fun and having her get pregnant… linking me to her the rest of our miserable lives. I’ve made out with more girls than I can count though. Is that so bad?

    By the way, that is 21 year old me talking. I’ve had sex plenty since then(with girlfriends I had relationships with). I sure as shit felt like a weirdo at the time though for not going all the way though.

  12. I’d just like to say that many of the views here are ignorant to the core. In reality, we have people like asexuals who do not experience sexual attraction. For many of them, having sex is something that never even crosses their minds. They are going to feel very marginalized and alien in a society where sex is “celebrated” everywhere. It’s not going to help that ignorant people think there’s inherently something wrong with you if you do not have a desire to fuck another person.

    • Sounds like you need to get laid!
      just kidding…but seriously, the tag line of this blog is “sweeping generalizations and unicorns” so consider that when reading anything I write. Also, while asexual are indeed a type of person, let’s not pretend that the majority of virgins fit into that basket. That’s just reaching.

  13. Well i am 44 and never had sex, or been on a date, anything. I have basically spent 30 years being ridiculed for being ugly, from school all the way through work till the present day. I just try and ignore it all and have never responded in any way. Women either ignore me or suddenly start doing something else, look away, start talking to other people. I haven’t got a clue how to lose my virginity and there is no way i’m paying some ridiculous price for an ‘escort’.

    • I’m no expert but hookers have a wide range in price. If losing your virginity is still something you earnestly want to do, I’m sure you could swing it for under 150 bucks. I’d understand if you didn’t wanna go that route but I’m just saying, the option is there.

  14. Well, I’m 30 and still technically a virgin. I’ve done other things with a couple of women but never have I gone all-the-way. Of course opportunity has arisen, as I’m sure it has for any man on the planet, but the emotional attachment has just never been there. The girls that I find myself really interested in are always already in committed relationships (perhaps that’s why I like them so much, they are “safe”). I’m also a nice guy, I don’t want to take advantage of anyone who is drunk or who is not interested in a relationship. I’m not looking to sleep around or plant my seed.. True love means more to me than sex ever will. I don’t want to be the guy with the sexual reputation. I am definitely insecure.. I know that I used to be very attractive as a teen, and that I still am considered fairly attractive for a man of 240 lbs, but I am definitely no competition for the Alpha male in the club, bar, or workplace. I’m also not very large in the “private” sector, lol. I guess when you compile that all together you get a mixture of reasons why I haven’t crossed the line. With so many relationships these days depending on your sexual performance it’s safe to say that I haven’t been in very many. It honestly doesn’t bother me so much except for the fact that it’s unusual and thought of as weird by the majority of our nation. I do get uncomfortable when the subject arises and I definitely feel under-qualified when a lady’s intentions are made clear to me.

    I know that I’m a good man, and I hope to find someone that I can love both emotionally and physically one day, but I’m not going to lower my standards in order to make it happen.

  15. I’m 43, and a virgin.
    Oh, wait, does having sex with several prostitutes, but not getting even close to cumming with any of them, count?
    Anyway, for me, sex sucks. I just don’t like the sensation of it. Throw in the fact that you have to wear a condom 100% of the time, (unless you enjoy STD’s and/or an unwanted pregnancy & 18 years of writing child support checks) and it positively BLOWS.
    And, did I mention that sex is awkward, smelly and gross?
    A vagina simply does NOT provide enough sensation for me to get off. Add in a condom, and it’s even worse. I prefer my hand and some free internet porn.
    At this point, I’ve just made peace with myself, knowing that I will never experience a passionate relationship in my life. And, since I am not romantically attracted to women my age, there is little chance that I will be able to hook up with anyone, since younger women probably won’t want me.

    • Excuses excuses, it’s called birth control and condoms. These help with 99% of the issues you just discussed. It sounds to me like there is an underlying problem here, perhaps some therapy is necessarily, perhaps you’re just asexual. But I find the idea that you’re not even curious about developing a connection and a relationship with another person very troubling. Who cares about sex right now, at least most virgins (even the asexual ones) want to form a relationship with someone.

      Oh and also, yes it does count. So you’re not really a virgin, just someone who hasn’t enjoyed sex.

    • Not feeling anything while doing P in V, it because you have desensitised your dick by masturbating. You’d need to quit masturbating for like few months to get back the sensitivity.

      • Oh, but it’s okay for YOU to fuck all the women you want? Women have just as much right to be sluts as men do. Men have NO right to want to fuck any women while at the same time criticizing women for being sexually active. You want to fuck a woman, yet you don’t want a slut? You can’t be picky, bro. Either you want a slut or you don’t want any sex at all.

  16. I waited until marriage. Before kids, I got hit on very frequently…I was very attractive. I was in my late twenties. It is great! No hang-ups. Never had to worry if I was being used.

  17. I’m 29 (30 in less than 6 months) and still a virgin. And there is nothing wrong with me – I’m not creepy or crazy, or anything like that. I want to have sex, but I need to be in love. That’s all there is to it. And that hasn’t happened yet. I would have loved for it to have happened by now, but it hasn’t. Granted I haven’t had many opportunities to look for it because I’ve had a shitload of other issues to deal with, but that doesn’t mean I’m weird or undateable.

    Women who hold out in particular, don’t do so because they think their vaginas are anything special. You do know that a woman risks getting pregnant every time she has sex, right? I honestly don’t understand how all these women can go around having casual sex knowing that. It’s perfectly reasonable for a woman not to want to have casual sex, risking these consequences for someone who isn’t even worth it. It’s just another reason why I would need to be in love with the guy.

    • This is absurd, as a sexually active woman I’m baffled by your point of view. Not all women are at risk for getting pregnant every time they have sex…it’s about knowing your body, knowing when you ovulate for example. The pill is actually more protective than a condom concerning pregnancy. It tricks your body into thinking it’s pregnant, therefore prevents ovulation from occurring. The only thing you really need to worry about when it comes to sex these days is STDs, many of which can be prevented with the use of a condom. (As well as some newer vaccines). These all sound like excuses to me, you’re making excuses to make yourself feel better about avoiding sex. There’s no logic behind not having sex other than not having found the “right guy,” you just said this. You’re no better or smarter than anyone else for not having sex.

  18. I had a fairly atypical experience with sexuality. I had done things at a very early age, like 5 or 6 years old due to growing up in a shady part of the city. I think I was exposed to sex too early, which made me ashamed and embarrassed when I finally entered my teen years. I had done just about everything except intercourse and couldn’t seem to get myself passed that step for awhile. I was a virgin until I was 22, at that point I felt like I was chomping at the bit. I thought my experience was odd and atypical and that I was fucked in the head somehow. But I then began to realize that there are more older virgins out there than I thought.

    I can’t imagine people who wait until they’re 25-35…what are they thinking here? What’s the logic in it? It’s not really about logic, it’s the opposite. It’s about fear controlling them and preventing them from making a real connection with another human being. I had grown up with a great deal of abusive men in my life, this made it difficult for me to open myself up to trust other men. At 22 I came to a crossroads and found that I had to make a choice. Either I keep hiding myself from people and live as half of a person, or I lose my virginity with and move on with my life. Since then I have formed a loving relationship with a man whom I would consider spending the rest of my life with. Losing my virginity had only a positive effect on me, I can’t imagine how it would have a negative effect on anyone. The STD/pregnancy phobia is just an excuse and, sorry, but so is religion. I’d argue that using rape or sexual abuse is also an excuse from trying to avoid human connection. I can understand that much better than some of the other lame excuses I’ve heard though.

    This is the problem a lot of older virgins are facing and many of them are not facing the reality of it, which is why many of them will end up 30, 35, and 40 year old virgins one day. They are living in a fantasy that the “one” is still out there just waiting for them and that somehow they give a shit if they’ve saved themselves for them. They are living a fantasy to avoid the reality of trying to create a human connection with other people. Are we really so scary?

  19. I’m waiting for a woman to give me a chance. That’s what I’m waiting for. I am 45 years old and desperate but no one will give me a chance. I’m so angry that you’re calling me a creep. You have no idea what continual rejection feels like.

  20. I remember when I told someone I was a virgin and they didn’t believe me. Now if I’m asked I’ll just lie so no one will bother me and I don’t have to talk about it. I’m going to be 26 next month so I have pretty much given up; then again I never tried to begin with. I don’t know how unattractive I am, I guess that doesn’t matter now. To give a little more insight I can talk and interact with people on a friendly/ professional level for example classroom ( I’m going to college at UNC) , at work, or just out and about. However, I fail at a personable level, I don’t make friends, I hate the idea of parties and bars, I naturally push people away. So me picking up a girl and sleeping if obviously not happening. I guess I’m writing this so people may understand how someone stays a virgin. Just to be clear I’m a Christian but I really don’t give a shit about saving sex after marriage.

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