Welcome to the dollhouse



The internet is a funny place. Without it, I’d imagine certain subcultures would never flourish like they do. Something like, I dunno, old men dressing up as goldie locks may seem foreign to you and me but, somewhere out there, there is a place were like minded adult male goldie locks enthusiasts go to parlay.
Enter “Doll forum”. My buddy Fat Jew posted this on facebook last night and I was blown away. Instead of explaining it off the bat, let’s just take a peek first:
http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31921

Yes, this is a place where dudes who buy sex dolls go to talk shop. Aside from threads like the one above about taking their ladies on vacation, other topics include maintenance of the dolls (who’s vagina’s often need to be dealt with due to heavy usage). Or the glorious feeling one gets from waking up next to your doll.

The craziest thing is that all the dolls are referred to by their names and spoken of like real life girlfriends. I read one thread where a guy was going on about how his girl had a real attitude and was being bossy. I bet she was! But most of these write ups are just men in love , telling tales of their lifestyle. Like when this guy took his bitch on a romantic driving trip through whales…She looked great!
I’d like it to be known that the titling of that photo was “normal holiday”. Yup…just like normal. Driving around small towns in a hearse, with a lifeless rubber woman who you take pictures of and have sex with like a necrophiliac.

This is not like 5 people writing about this. This is a whole section of a forum dedicated to people who , at some point , felt like “I like human contact and all but fuck it…Lemme fuck this inanimate object instead”.
Now, the rational side of me tries to understand this mindset. Yes, these dolls have come a long way. They look real-ish. The bodies are surely shaped right. If i had one in front of me and I was in jail or something, I’d probably give it a whirl. Sure, I’m sure I’d wanna hang myself when I finished and was faced with cleaning it up and putting it back on it’s hook (or i it’s box), but still, I can sort of understand the curiosity behind trying one. But to own one and treat it like your girl? Wow.
I’ve known dudes who were fans of hookers who, somewhere down the line, may have confused their relationship with a hooker as something deeper, but that pales in comparison to this real life “Lars and the real girl” situation. It’s a level of delusion I don’t think I’ve ever encountered. It like meeting someone who is a food critic but only eats wax apples.
Fetishes are crazy like that. I guess we never really know what’s gonna turn the next person on. In a way, as pathetic as these doll fuckers are, at least they’re not harming other people. In fact, they’re probably so shut in to their world, I’d be surprised if they even talk to other people. And that’s where this forum comes in…A place for shut ins to discuss the loves of their lives and what kinda of DD7 is best for cleaning out their rubber twat holes.

For a more in depth (and utterly creepy) look inside the minds of doll fuckers, peep this (Thanks to DLG for directing me to these videos):




23 thoughts on “Welcome to the dollhouse

  1. It looks like the romantic drive through Wales took place in a hearse….you know what they say, “if the hearse is a rockin’ don’t go a knockin'”….I’d love to hear the explanation if an officer of the law ever happened to go a knockin’

  2. 1) I reposted that link yesterday and got insulted and defriended by multiple people

    2) I didn’t. Watch that video, but if its the one I think it is, that guy daveKat makes a solid living going on talk shows with his doll now

    3) let me direct you to the testimonials portion of the real doll website, it is the saddest thing:
    http://www.realdoll.com/cgi-bin/snav.rd?action=viewpage&section=testimonials in fact peruse the whole site. Take a gander at just the sheer amount of vagina customization that is possible…vaacuum suction! Human pussy can’t compare. Also according to the FAQ each doll comes with a douche ball..which…I will leave you to chew on yourself…so to speak…

  3. Someone posted this in response to the hearse pic: “very nice! do i spy a bed in the back? (thumbs up)”

    This may be the creepiest thing you’ve put up on this blog. Props.

  4. Ahahahah. holy fuck. Only from you, Block. Imagine what this shit will be like in 20 years when they aren’t just a corpse 😐

    I think Creepy/funny/ridiculous internet stuff would be a good recurring article.

  5. The people who sit around scouring the internet just to make fun of these people are far more pathetic.

    At the end of the day, if you’re sitting around making any kind of deal of where another puts his cock, you have some real problems in your own life… like not having one.

    • Eh, I dunno. Looking at something like this and making fun of this takes about 15 seconds. It’s not time consuming. I’m fairly certain peoples who “have a life” can easily make fun of this and still maintain said “life”. It’s one of those things you laugh at in passing. I don’t see that as pathetic. It’s not like the people making fun of the doll fuckers are offended by the lifestyle…It’s simply a weird things that weird people do. but if you don’t see the humor in it, I don’t know what to tell you.

  6. Whoa. I think I’d feel less like a weird piece of shit fucking a fleshlight. Although, that’s pretty weird too, but at least it requires way less thought, room, maintenance, embarrassment, etc. When did the hand or an actual person become not enough? I guess I’m just old-fashioned or something. The whole reason that dude in American Pie fucking the apple pie was so funny is because I’ve never done or thought of doing something like that before. If you remove the doll from that guys “van”, you have a very rapey vehicle, so maybe it’s good he’s got a realish object to direct his creepiness at.

  7. I feel like I understand the basic concept of letting your love loose on an object or a “real doll”.
    I believe it might be similair to the psychological defense mechanism called ‘displacement’

    You remember that time when you were young and your parents told you for the fifth time that getting a dog was out of the question. You got so mad that you threw a hissyfit and slammed the door to your room repeatedly, till it fell of its hinges. You took the anger that arose in you from your parents decline of getting a pet, found a less threatening foe aka. the door to your room and took all of your frustrations out on it.

    Now lets turn it around and say that you’ve evolved quite an obsession with the female gender, but as you grew up being that ackward loner, who couldn’t crack the social codes, didn’t know how to talk to women and never actually got to kiss a real girl. So maybe you turn to compulsive masturbation and watching porn in order to satisfy your needs. But after several years you’re still dreaming of having a companion, but you’re to threatened by the rejections you got when you were young that you turn to the world of imagination and decide to go buy a humanoid cum-disposer to keep you company.

    Putting your love for someone you lost into an object that you care for isn’t weird at all.

    Giving up on emotional and physical interaction with another human being might just seem a tad more crazy , as it doesn’t really help your condition. It just replaces your true desire of being with one of those scary females to something that’s manageable for you.

    I know the brain releases rewarding chemicals when you’re cuddling with another human being, that’s responsible for establishing feelings of bonding and security, but I’m curious to know whether you can make your brain do the same thing by spooning with your real doll.

    • Nah dude, it’s incredibly weird. I commend you for trying to justify this type of shit and, when it comes down to it, to each his own…but acting like it’s not totally strange and kinda fucked up is simply being too tolerant when you don’t really have to be. Some people are kinda freaks…and that’s okay.

  8. It’s tough to truly comprehend just how messed up these people are…
    i can’t fully wrap my head around that mindset…
    i’m normally really good at putting myself in others peoples shoes and seeing where they’re coming from…not this time..!
    but if they’re not hurting anyone else, to each their own…

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