Ask Dr. Tony Vol. 10



Sup yall. The Doc is in. It’s a new year and people are still having problems figuring out what the fuck to do with their genitals. Well, I’m here to help.
Please send me more relationship type questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. Mt door is always open. Ladies, where you at? This weeks questions are all from men. Let’s get some girl questions going. Those are usually more fun anyway.
Okay, let’s go…

Dr. Tony,
I have new girlfriend (official for four months), everything is great and we have been moving forward at a healthy pace physically and emotionally. Problem, she has been the doormat for the same dude over and over. He took her v-card in high school, they went to the same college, etc. They weren’t always in a relationship thru out the time they had this going b/c he has strolled into and out of her life at his own convenience since she was 17 (now 27) and has hurt her several times and she always went back like a wounded puppy. They are still “friends” and I know it has been a year since they hooked up the last time. They don’t see each other because he is in grad school in another city but they shoot text every now and then and talk on the phone every other month or so. She told me she is 100% done with him like that and to not worry, but I kind of want more reassurance. Since it is so new, should I press the issue or let it ride? Am I walking into a buzz saw? Your thoughts? Thanks man, I could use a little objective advice because I like her so much and I don’t want to rock the boat if I’m just over thinking it.

Man, this is a tough one. If I’m just going off what you wrote, I think you may be in trouble. It sounds like that guy is your girls first love. Most people have that one guy/girl who will always get in their head. He/she is always in the back of their mind. I wrote a blog about the “The light switch” a while back. It’s about how girls don’t ever really get over a dude the love until they finally decide to flick that switch. but when they do? It’s a wrap. It sounds to me that, if those two are still talking, she hasn’t flipped the switch yet. Meaning, that guy is still floating somewhere in the back of her head. Sure, she has genuine feelings for you but he’s still around. It’s the type of thing that can lead to her cheating with him and not even giving it a second thought cause she can rationalize it as it being with that guy and that guy only.

Now, as far as how you should approach this, I don’t think you really can. The more jealous and insecure you seem, the more likely she’ll be pushed towards thinking about the other guy, who very likely is aloof and cares a lot less about her than she does him. I think you gotta just ride it out. 4 months isn’t shit in terms of time together so you gotta get more time under your belt with her before you can really say shit about anything of that nature. If i were you, I’d just be hoping that other dude stays in school forever/moves to another part of the country after school. Cause if he moves back home, shit will get interesting.

I just watched this

and wanted to know your thoughts on it. I have a (fairly recent) ex who wants to be friends. Do you believe this video is true? Is it ever possible for men and women to be friends? Exes or not.

Good timing considering I just wrote that whole blog about the friendzone earlier this week. Since i covered most of it in that blog, I’ll just give a basic answer.
Yes, I believe men and women can be friends but not in the same way men are friends with other friends. As long as that sexual tension (be it real or created by the man) is there, it will never be the same. I will say that two ex’s can be friends if both of them are truly over it. It’s super rare but it exists somewhere.

I have tons of female friends. But aside from a few, I’ve met them as girls I couldn’t have sex with (friends girlfriends, my girlfriends friends, my ex girlfriends friends ect…). So, they were slapped right into being friends. But the bottom line of male/female friendship is that 90% of the guys out there, would technically have sex with the girl they’re friends with. Cause, you know, why not? Where as I’d say that % drops dramatically when considering how many girls would have sex with the guys they’re friends with.
For instance, my closest girl friend is this girl I’ve known since i was 16. She’s probably the only girl I treat like I do my male friends. Meaning , playfully abusive and totally inappropriate (in a non-sexual manner). However, if I didn’t know her so well, I’d totally want to fuck her. Simply cause she is an attractive girl. On the flip side, I think the thought of fucking me makes her want to vomit forever. That’s something that she had decided on way before I even considered becoming good friends with her. But still, she thinks I’m a good guy so we’re friends anyway. Girls are different than men.
In my eyes, men act amongst and treat their male friends different cause , well, we’re all men. There’s rarely an emotional issue to worry about and everything is pretty simple. With our girl friends, we can’t be the disgusting pigs we really are so we have to tone it down a little. I’m sure some girls are going “I’ve seen men be disgusting pigs! All my friends are men!” but , I’m sorry homegirl, you still really don’t know the depths. Not even close.
With girls, once the sexual aspect of the relationship is out of the equation, I feel like it’s business as usual with friendships with men. Granted, they’re not gonna sit around discussing “Who wore it best?” with us or talking about shoes but the dialogue is not going to be THAT different. Now, I’m sure some girls are going “Oh no! when I talk to my girls we are disgusting!” That’s cute and all, but I really can’t stress enough how not disgusting you really are. Talk all out want about your period, or gross dicks you’ve seen or whatever…it’s not even in the same universe as the grossness men discuss casually over dinner.
My point in all this is , as sexes we are so different, that our ideas of what our friendships are with each other are also different. We’re always going to view each other differently no matter what. So while a true male/female platonic friendship is totally possible, I’d say the probability of that relationship being on the exact same wavelength for both people, is not possible.

Is it weird to be making out with tons of chicks, but never dropping the hammer? I don’t know, I’ve always been paranoid about fucking some sea donkey for fun and having her get pregnant… linking me to her the rest of our miserable lives. I’ve made out with more girls than I can count though. Is that so bad?

By the way, that is 21 year old me talking. I’ve had sex plenty since then(with girlfriends I had relationships with). I sure as shit felt like a weirdo at the time though for not going all the way though.

What’s weird is that you’re so scared of knocking a girl up. Wear a condom, bro.
Sounds to me you were just a 21 year old who was comfortable kicking game and kissing girls but insecure about anything beyond that. That’s fine. Sex is pressure packed before you get the hang of it. The only down side is that I’d imagine you have some regrets about not boning some of those girls you made out with.

I need advice

some hot girl that I dont even know her name but she works at a building I work wants me to go to a party that her uncle is throwing. I work with her uncle and I always tell him she looks good. She didnt invite me personally, but her uncle (my coworker) said she wanted me to come. Now im not really down with chillin in a family party with a girl I dont even know, or I dont know anyone thats gonna be at the party too. Plus I work that same day. But i really would want to get at this girl. What should i do?

Depends what kinda dude you are. I’m not the type of person who can just roll up to a party solo and be comfortable. I need to know at least someone well enough to kick it with them. I got a nephew who’s the opposite. he thrives on going places alone. He’s just go to a random art opening and end up meeting all sorts of people. So, if you’re like me, you’re not going to go to that party , regardless of what you think about that girl. But, if you’re like my nephew, you say fuck it, put on a happy face and see what happens.
From an outsider perspective, I’d say my nephew is on to something and his way is the better way to go. But , it’s also easier said than done.
Regardless, the girl works in your building. There’s got to be another way to start a Reppore (no clue how to spell that) with her.

for the doc…
so ive been seeing this girl for a few weeks. we get along good. she’s smart and funny, fun to hang out with. the sex is pretty good, not mind blowing yet – i think it could get there potentially – but its a solid experience in the sack. i think she’s quite sexy. she’s curvy – and i dig that. i cant really fuck with stick drawing women, you know? BUT, here’s the thing. she’s kind of right at the threshold. like, she’s pretty damn sexy right now, but another few lbs and i could see the transition from curvy to sloppy happening.
now, obviously i should feel like a douche for entertaining this line of thought in the first place right? fair enough. but what do you do in this situation?
do you keep the dating going long enough before getting serious so you can get a read on her maintenance? do you just go all in, but have an exit strategy ready? do you broach the subject (like heeeeey, lets join a gym together? even though i have zero interest in joining a gym. what a terrible idea.). i mean i guess throughout history there have been many dudes who have gotten on board with an amazing lady who went and got fat on them. is it just a gamble that we all take?

It’s waaaaaaay too early to even consider this. You’ve just started fucking her. Hold your horses. I’ve always said my favorite body types are the girls who are naturally kinda chubby but work out. Depending on her fitness schedule, you might be hitting jackpot.
You say this girl is on the cusp and I know exactly what you mean.
There’s really no way to gauge what will happen to her but if the looks are that important to you, she might not be a girl you’re gonna settle down with anyway.
But, a few ways to forecast her future would be to ask these questions (to yourself)
1)how old is she?
If she’s still fairly young, all that could turn around. If she’s like 30 though, it’s usually downhill from there.
2)Does she ever exercise?
If she has at least some sort of discipline that’s a good sign that she actually cares how she looks and is conscious of her figure.
3)Does she eat like a pig and smoke weed all day?
If she does, good luck with that. you got a lifelong fat girl on your hands.
4)Does she seem aware of her own weight?
I’d say most girls are highly aware of themselves in that way. But every now and then, you meet a girl who’s oblivious to her situation. in fact, not only that, she’s straight up content in being dumpy. Like she wear shirts that are too small and her gut hangs out without an shame. That’s fine cause to each their own, but if she’s that type and you’re concerned about her getting fatter, jump ship immediately.

The funny thing about this is that , in many cases. girls put their best foot forward when thy start hooking up with a new dude they like. They want to look good and feel sexy. It’s when they get comfortable that they start slipping (men do this two and are completely shameless about it). So, if this is an issue for you, be careful and don’t over commit to a relationship you might be ending over some physical shit down the line.

9 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Tony Vol. 10

  1. It’s actually spelled “rapport,” which is weird, right?

    Anyway, I’m trippin on the boy/girl friend thing. I’ve always been a girl that had more guy friends than girl friends, until recently (I’m 32). My boyfriend of 3 years told me early on that he was uncomfortable with mostly all of them b/c they all would bang me if given the opportunity. I never really believed him, but that video just tripped me out. Really? All of my guy friends would’ve banged me at some point? With the exception of one friend who asked me once if he could kiss me (I said no, he was my friend, gross!), I really don’t think they were ever interested in me. Are girls really that naive?

    And on an unrelated note, do you have a Soundcloud page?

    • Just cause they want to bone you doesn’t mean they don’t actually like you as a person. It just means, if you offered, they’d probably take it. Men are funny like that.

      Also, I don’t have a soundcloud page. Should I get one of those? I don’t really “get” it.

      • Ok, that actually makes me feel less confused.

        As for Soundcloud, I think it’s probably more enjoyable for the fan than the artist. Like, I’m at work doing some b.s., and I have my Soundcloud open and am listening to stuff the artists I like have posted on their profiles. In my opinion, it would be cool if you were in the mix, but it’s not like I can’t listen to your stuff in at least 5 other locations.

  2. For that last question i’d say another thing to look for is genetics, is her mom fat? Any sisters? How big are they? An older sister would be perfect for some idea of potential future body type, not that it always works out that way but very often it does. Any of her immediate family members. Unless she was an adopted child or something of course.

  3. I have a question. What do you think of women commentators in men’s professional sports?
    I was watching hockey today and they had a women with a guy as the studio people, then another woman reporter in the field. That’s overkill to me. I understand equal rights and all that, but even in the NBA and now in the nhl they have women not as the play by play but color commentator sometimes. The one on the NBA did an alright job i think or whatever, maybe i am being a dick, but the last thing i want to listen to when i’m watching sports is a woman talking. Sorry if that’s harsh or whatever, its not really a big deal i guess as long as they don’t start doing it in the playoffs.

    I understand it’s nice to have a good looking chick interview the players at intermissions, but no women (other than a goalie very briefly in the NHL) has played in the NBA, NHL, MLB etc. and maybe they have played pro in some women’s league of the same sport, but the game is n a whole different level for men at the pro level. They don’t even body check in women’s hockey. Sorry for talking hockey here, i know you’re not a fan, but this question is about women commentators in general in every male pro sport. Maybe i’m not giving them a fair chance idk.

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