You and your underwear

(This ain’t about girls underwear but I’ll be damned if I put up some pic of a dude in a banana hammock)

I’ve been trying to hit the gym a lot lately cause I’ve found myself slipping into a fatty territory I’m not comfortable with. Because of this, I’ve been exposed to the dreaded gym locker room. A place where underwear is optional and swinging dicks are just part of the ambiance. While doing my best to not make eye contact with the many dangling parts in the locker room, I have noticed that an amazing amount of dudes (granted, most are old as dirt) are rocking tighty whitey underwear. This is odd to me cause, well, tighty whities are the worst. They ride up. They constrict your package. They are white, so the get dirty in a really bad way very quickly. Basically, they are the bottom wrung of male underwear.

I wore them back in the day before I was making decisions for myself. My mom would give them to me, and I was just happy to not be wearing diapers. In fact, one of my saddest memories as a child was being given these awesome spider man underoo’s. I put them on and was walking around the house like a tiny bawce. I was about a year past potty training and was really feeling myself in those underroo’s. Sadly, I guess I wasn’t that far past the potty as I shit my underwear at thoroughly as a person can shit themselves, leading to the disposal of said underoo’s. It was pretty devastating.

Once I got a little older, I noticed older people were wearing boxers. This intrigued me. When i finally got my hands on some, I understood why. They were roomy. They were loose. It was like not wearing anything at all…or wearing a bathing suit. I ran with boxers for a long time. At some point, I got sick of the crotches ripping to shreds and getting chaffed all the time. I needed something different. That’s when i discovered the wonders of Boxer briefs. They’re a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll. Good space for the package but it still separates the thighs to avoid chaffing. I’ve been rocking those strictly since the mid 90’s and I have no complaints. I’ve also noticed that, by far, girls seem to like them the most…But i’ve been wrong before…While I’m assuming Boxer briefs are obviously the most popular for both men to wear, and women to prefer on their men, you never know. so this is why I make these polls. To find the truth!
This time, I got one for the boys and one for the girls.

First off for the Bro’s

Secondly, for the broads,

Let’s get down to the bottom of this…If anything, I hope the result will steer some of you in the right direction next time you’re up in the underwear section of the mall or whatever…

43 thoughts on “You and your underwear

  1. I go the the gym every work day during my lunch break so, I spend half the day in boxer briefs and the second half commando. If I end up going out later that night I will put on a fresh pair.

  2. I used to rock boxer shorts, but for good or ill all the pairs i’ve had ended up fitting more like tightey whiteys or biker shorts (maybe i was just always buying the low end shit, i’d just grab multi-packs from a meijer type store). Then one day for some reason i went with a pair of basketball shorts and i haven’t looked back since. The roominess, the length, the way they move with me and not against me, i can’t imagine wearing anything else, granted i’m now stuck with an at least $15 a pair underwear habit, but you can’t put a price on comfort. They feel like the cadilac of boxers. I wear ’em with everything, suits, jeans, shorts, tuxes, “slacks”, anything.

  3. maybe I bought some shitty boxer briefs in the past, but I found them just as constricting as tighy-whities. my balls are always on fire when i wear the boxer briefs, so i pretty much never wear them anymore. boxers are the clear winner for me. and there is no chaffing with boxers, at least for everyday wear, assuming you buy ones that actually fit (buying too big is an easy mistake). I can see this being a consideration (chaffing) for going to the gym etc, but I pretty much fucking hate the gym, so not worried about that personally.

      • I get the ones that already have a decent sized ( and stretchy) “pouch” formed. I suspect a lot of those with tight boxer-brief issues are wearing bike shorts or Under Armor compression wear or something instead. The boxer briefs I get are comfortable like boxers but stay in place and don’t bunch up.

  4. If you want to get on the next level of underwear check out Ex-Offico Give-N-Go® boxer briefs. Wicks sweat, doesn’t smell, don’t ride up; you can’t put a price on that. Well, you can, but it’s worth it.

  5. Dear Blockhead,
    Thank you for making me laugh throughout my week. I get excited everytime I open my email and I have something new to read from you. I love your dedication to your blOg. Thanks for being awesomely hilarious!

      • Well what about the reverse: which underwear do men prefer women to wear? Boy shorts, briefs, thong, g-string.. I think thats it. I’m gonna go ahead and speak for most girls and say we prefer boy shorts most the time but thongs are crucial for leggings.

      • It can go either way. Sometimes girls in boy shorts is the best…kind alike girls in leggings/yoga pants is the best.
        Nice Lingerie is cool but i don’t REALLY care that much about it. Thongs are fine and all but you gotta have the right ass to pull them off.

  6. I have had a theory about this for awhile now and it dosen’t neccessarily pertain to everyone. Im pretty sure it’s an age thing. From my own experience, when your a child you rock tighty whities then as teen you get into boxers and as you grow older I’d say midish 20’s you drift into the boxer brief realm. Then when your just flat out old, for some reason you go back to the tighty whiteies AND then next thing you know your right back in diapers. Pretty sure there is people who will argue that but from my experience that’s the world of mens underwear.

  7. I to feel as the the boxer briefs are still pretty constrictive, hence I am a boxer Guy. Maybe my weiner is just too large. Or I’ve purchased the wrong kind of briefs… I will choose to believe the theory numero 1.

  8. I was a born commando and never wanted to wear undies, unless it was really cold or there was a prospect that the shameful nakedness under my pants would be revealed. On the rare unexpected occasions that this becomes an issue, medical personnel are quite sympathetic and manage to contain their hilarity quite well. I think it well worth it to have my junk hang free.

  9. Hahaha! Even for a very non-ignorant american you still have those weird ideas about “europeans”! I don’t think I’ve ever even met anyone from europe below 50 wearing tighty whities… and I live here.
    Boxer briefs all the way. I like to keep things in order but without everything being mashed together and the underwear crawling up my ass. And it also seems that boxer briefs are usually made from more comfortable material than boxer shorts usually are.

  10. I’m European. I dunno what a banana hammock is. My underwear history is the same as yours (sans the shitting in superhero underwear part).

  11. I am fucking shocked by the poll results. Most guys wear boxer briefs, and most girls prefer them? I always assumed tighty whities were for kids and the larger sizes I saw in the store were for fat kids, senior citizens, retarded people or football players…I wear boxer shorts and can’t image any straight adult capable of shopping for themselves would wear anything else.

  12. “Cause I’m the neighborhood lamper. Punk brother vamper./
    Fuck around you’ll find my silk boxers in your mother’s hamper./”
    R.I.P. Big L.

    I took that shit to heart. Silk/imitation silk boxers all day. Seriously, you can beat ’em. I get them off the clearance rack at Macy’s for cheap. Costs less than the packs of Hanes they have if you shop around.

  13. I went to boxer briefs after having the 2 following issues with boxers for many years: 1. The material bunching up in weird ways in odd places. 2. My balls ending up stuck behind my legs while walking ( material would bunch there too) and needing to walk with a very odd stride/strut to get my balls back in front or needing to reach in there and move them manually. I’m not much of a public crotch-grabber. So it’d not very convenient.

    I always hated regular briefs ( “tighty whities”)- constricting, there’s no real design/construction for where your stuff goes. It gets all smashed and shoved where a growing male with normal bloodflow shouldnt have his stuff being smashed. So I went with boxers as soon as I had some freedom to choose. I guess I lived with the bunching for awhile since it was still more comfortable than tight briefs. And my balls probably took several years to mature and hang properly.

  14. Damn banana hammock struck a chord with the Europeans. In relation to that I have to say that almost every person I ever saw wearing a speedo has been an olympic swimmer or European… so I can see the connection there with underwear and swim suits. I know that not every European man wears speedos, but there are definitely alot that do and I am curious why that is. They seem very uncomfortable, so if any Europeans read this, maybe you can fill us ignorant americans in on the speedo thing.

  15. Is it that I’m outta the loop and this is all I read online or is blockhead the funniest motherfucker on the planet…. my roommate probably thinks I’m schizophrenic with all this late night laughter in a silent room.

  16. As a kid I wore strictly tightie whities. As a teen and still to this day (mid twenties) I wear boxer shorts. They arent perfect but they are roomy and i have no complaints. But now I’m curious about these boxer briefs. I’ll have to buy some. I’m sure my girl will like the change although she loves wearing my boxers when she spends the night. This might change my life.

    Btw on girls.. Boy shorts always look amazing.

  17. I tried boxers in middle school and it just didnt have the support I needed for sports (bball, squash, running). I am also fairly large downstairs so felt like i when i wore boxers things tended to move in unnatural positions. Boxer-briefs i tried a few years ago (im in my 20’s) and they contain the package the exact same as briefs, and i get they look better to the females, but i have yet to find a pair that doesnt ride up in the legs. If anyone has any recommendations id be happy to try them out but until them im sticking with the briefs. Havent gotten any complaints yet from the girls and ill be laughing at you when my ball arent sagging at age 50.

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