Sup sup yo! It’s a new week, which means another installment of Answers for questions. As always, if you ahve any questions for me, leave them in the comments below or email them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Also, I still need “ask Dr. Tony” questions so, if you’re a person who needs advice about your shitty love life, holler at the kid.
Okay, let’s go…
Was your cross country road trip just a big thing with friends? What states did you pass through? any memories or thoughts about the trip?
Before I ever toured the US, I drove cross country with a bunch of friends. It wasn’t totally a vacation as the whole point of the trip was to film my friends senior project for college along the way. It was a student film and I had a supporting roll as “wise cracking asshole”. We took the southern route en route to L.A., so we passed through pennsylvania, west virginia, Tennessee, Arkanasas, Texas, New mexico, Arizona, Nevada and California.
As far as memories go, I’m foggy on them cause it was pretty long ago but I can rattle off a few:
1)The Ozarks scared the shit out of me.
Cause we were filming, we had two cars full of people. All new yorkers. A few jews, a black guy and a raver-ish girl. All around 21 years old, in baggy jeans and hats. We stopped at a gas station/KFC in the Ozarks for a late night snack and it was like being in a place where time had stopped. We walked into the KFC to see a sea of dead eyed hill people. Little kids wearing confederate flag hats. Everyone was about 90 pounds overweight and they all stared at us like were were from another planet. I dunno if it was just a case of us hitting the evolutionary arrested development jackpot or if that’s just how it is out there but it was scarier than any housing project I’ve ever walked through at night by a billion.
I got to gamble for the first time. Or, rather, I got to lose whatever little money I had back then. One of the guys I was with was a big gambler and would pop shit with the dealers. The phrase “You know you’re raping me, right?” was quite common. Little fun facT: Dealers are not know for their senses of humor. ANyway, We spent two days there and by the middle of the first day, I was broke. So, you can imagine the fun of watching other people gamble. It’s right up there with watching people eat or someone describing a movie to you in great detail. Because of this, I ended up back in the hotel room more often than not. Every few hours, my gambling addict friend would come in a express that he had just lost 3 thousand dollars, only to come back a few hours later to say he made it all back. Over the two days, I gotta think he was, at worst, down 8 thousand and , at best, up 2 thousand. Back then, that kinda money could have lasted me all year so I was just kinda speechless about the whole thing.
3)driving scared part 1: Freon in your mouth
As a non-driver, my job was easy. Sit in the back seat and do nothing. The problem was that, on the way back from L.A. to NYC, we were on an extremely tight schedule. This meant insanely long drives with incredibly tired people driving. Once we hit nashville, on the way back, the plan was to drive straight from there to NYC. That’s a loooooonnnng fucking drive. This was in the dead of winter. One of the cars was a van holding all the film equipment. The other was an old ass station wagon. Somewhere in Texas, the old ass station wagon’s heating/defrosting system stopped working. Instead of gently blowing warm air into the ice cold car, it was blowing pure freon wind into our mouths. So, basically, we couldn’t use it. This was a problem cause the car needed to be defrosted constantly. What this meant was that we had to drive the final 2000 miles, in the dead of winter, with all the windows down and the freon pumping defrosting system as full blast. It was hell. I can kinda relate what being in that movie “Alive” was like , minus the cannibalism.
4)Driving Scared pt. 2: Sleep driving.
The last 15 hours home were tense. Everyone was exhausted. We hadn’t slept for like 20 hours and it was gonna be another 15 before we did. I was in the Van , riding shot gun. There had been talk about tires blowing out in situations like this that truly scared the shit out of me. But, even scarier, was that the driver of the van was drifting in and out of sleep while driving. For the final 15 hours of the drive, I sat next to him , waking him up every time his eyes would get heavy. I literally watched him the entire time like a lunatic, making sure he didn’t pass out and drive us off the road. Granted, i was probably looney from sleep depravation myself but I’m glad I did it cause, you know, I’m still alive now.
That’s about all I really remember outside of a few funny inside joke type things that happened amongst the group of friends I traveled with. I will say this, we’re all still friends now so that’s pretty impressive in itself.
You’re locked in an empty room with nothing but a CD player. Would you rather have to listen to the newest Lady Gaga album, the newest Lil Wayne album, AND Bieber’s latest album back-to-back-to-back, or Music by Cavelight four times cover to cover? (You can’t leave the room until one of these things happens)
I’d definitely rather listen to “Music by Cavelight” 4 times. I mean, it would be boring for me but it wouldn’t be painful. While I’d be curious to be forced to listen to the lil Wayne album, there’s simply no way I could get through the Bieber or GaGa albums.
what way do you get most paid: itunes? Cd/vinyl? Soundcloud/bandcamp? Amazon?
I get paid the most when people buy music from me at my shows. That’s 100% profit for me. As far as the other things, I dunno. I’d imagine the one that makes me the least money would be buying it used on Amazon. Itunes gets me some money. I don’t have a soundcloud or bandcamp profile so that’s out. So, yeah, buy from me personally or Itunes. Help me buy that yacht I’ve been eyeing.
Ever dabbled in porn on a phone?
Like porno chat lines? God no. Those things are so expensive and why would I ever do that as long as real porn exists?
However, there was this amazing chat line back in the day in NYC where you would call and try and meet girls. The thing is, it was predominately used by Domincan thugs from washington heights. This made for some amazing comedy cause you’d enter these rooms full of people talking. there’d usually be like 7 dudes screaming over one another at the one or 2 girls that might be in that chat room. My friends and I would go into these rooms as different characters and just see how mad we could make these dudes. Lemme just say they did not react kindly to gay guys or guys who’s only purpose was to disrespect certain blocks/projects. For instance ,I’d go in there and be like “Anyone from Dykeman projects in here?” (which would undoubtedly be received with a few positive responses, in which I’d answer to them “Fuck Dykeman!” and all hell would break loose. There wasn’t much sex talk but a few of my thuggier friends actually did meet girls on there so I suppose that’s something.
It’s the last concert you’ll ever go to and there are 3 openings. Who and in what order would you want to see them play?
This is a tough one cause, as I’ve said before, I’m not a huge live music guy. I’m way too impatient and fidgety to stand in one place for that long. So, my dream show would be a short one.
Looking back on all the shows I’ve been to, very few have really hit a chord with me as a fan. One that I loved was comedy crooner, Richard Cheese. he would be my opening act.
The middle act would probably be my homeboy Baby Dayliner. I’ve seen him play a billion times but it’s always a party. Drunk people dancing, good friends everywhere. It’s good times.
The closing act would be Boogie Down Productions. Now, I’ve reached the point where I can barely even listen to KRS ONE’s greatest hits, as he has become a truly annoying figure in music.. However, the first show I ever went to was BDP live at SOB’s (which they’d later use as part of the BDP Live album) I was about 16 and it was a mind blowing experience. Probably the only time I’ve ever felt that way at a show since cause KRS could really perform and the whole experience was completely new to me.. I’d want that exact show again. Just as long as he didn’t do any of his newer shit, it’d be fine.