Answers for questions vol. 72



Phew…I’m exhausted from watching the grammy’s last night. I feel like my eyes got touched inappropriately. Anyway, this weeks questions are some of the more interesting ones I can recall. If you got more Q’s to be A’d send me them: phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below.
I’m also accepting Ask dr. Tony questions as well, so if you got relationship woes, holler at the manchild.
Okay, let’s do it….

A while back you made a post about people worth following on Twitter. This was a reeaal while back. But anyway, most of them were gold, a lot don’t tweet so much anymore. I was wondering if you could do an updated list or something. Even if it’s not some in depth post and just a short thing in one of your Questions for Answers posts. Thanks!

It’s been a while and I may repeat some but here goes with some heads I’ve been appreciating on twitter lately:
@djmichaeltimex – This dude got jokes. Imagine the guy in your crew who was just the master at snapping on everyone and him twittering. That’s this guy.

@SylisP – Another relatively unknown dude who’s funny as fuck. HE does awesome live tweets of events and terrible tv shows.

@THEKIDMERO – Easily the funniest dude on twitter. It may be a bit of an east coast bias as he is a dominican from the bronx, but I hope that kinda humor would translate globally.

@MarylandMudflap – no clue who he is. But he’s funny.

@bdetrick – If you like funny tweets about basketball and rap, he’s your guy.

@saidpatrick – this is just a buddy of mine who hilarious…in a prickish way I think we can all relate to.

Try this on for size, for the past week and a half (and also seeing some of ‘Game of Thrones’
series..) what do you think of those women/mothers who fucking breast feed their kid(s)
very well past their prime? We’re talking ages 5-6, etc., because I was skimming around
channel surfing and saw this woman with a ton of kids and every single one of them would
ask her for milk…she whipped out her titty and fed them (and not the hot Aesop way either,
obviously and I don’t think she had a friend w/a titty out, too..I doubt she has any friends).
This isn’t all, there’s more…She also kept the placenta and their umbilical cord and all
of the bloody shit attached and had it placed in a plastic ordinary tupperware container
and when they got to a certain age, the father and mother would un-thaw the messy shit
and then put some soil in a pot, then the kid would take their ‘attachments’ and put them
in the pot themselves (some type of strange right of passage shit w/religion, but as to
which, I don’t know and could not give two fucks about) and then put a fucking tree on top
and fill the rest of the pot with more soil….I want to know what the fuck you think about
all of this weird shit. I see it as being psychological damaging to a kid being fed from their
mother’s titty way past their need, and I think upon seeing that on TV years ago that it might
have possibly damaged my brain because that image and story are obviously still stuck
in my head. “Hey kids, let us gather around and have you take your bloody placenta and
umbilical cord and bury it under a tree while you suck on your mommy’s titty!” Seriously?!
I want to hear you go to town on this subject because I haven’t seen anyone ask what
you’ve thought about this and I think it’s really fucked..What’s wrong w/people these days?!

I mean, you said it. It’s all sorts of fucked up. I’d file this under “Things that are wrong in the world”.
All that placenta shit is just some weird hippie bullshit and, while it’s strange, I don’t see the major harm in it. If you’re doing it, I’m assuming your kids lives are already ruined by whatever shitty nature based name you gave them. Trust me, come adolescence, all that shit will be a distant memory and the reality of being named something like “Upstream Rainbow” will hit the kid like a sledgehammer.
The breast feeding thing is a problem though. Granted, it’s super rare but it’s obviously gonna fuck any kid up who does it…not only that, if it’s a male child, his relationship to titty’s is gonna be a disaster. I don’t think any of us remember sucking on tits for food cause we were so young when it happened. But if you were to actually remember that and, then at age 16 be faced with a different rack of breasts, I’d imagine it would be confusing and could only lead to weird behavior.
Really…those moms need help.

Whats your opinion on overpopulation? Seeing as you’re from NYC you must have some thought on this subject. And what do you think of the current ways places like China are dealing with it (China has roaming “Death Vans” which goes around and gives even petty criminals lethal injections. They also only allow one girl per family and forcefully abort the rest, if you’re caught hiding a second female child from the Government then you will be killed, no questions asked.)? The rest of the world still relies on wars and religion far as I know though.

I don’t think what China is doing is a good move…but is that even true? Like currently? I’d think there would be more of a public outcry if that was the case.If so, jesus christ…
Anyway, I think there are way too many people, and worse than that, they’re being made by stupid people who shouldn’t be allowed to have kids in the first place. If I ruled the word (imagine that, yall, imagine that) there would be rules to who can and cannot have a baby. First off, no one under the age of 23 would be allowed to give birth. There would be a “basic life functionality” test that everyone would take at age 22 to determine if you’re mentally capable of raising a child. It wouldn’t be the strictest test on earth but it would certainly weed out some of the dregs of society who keep plopping worthless kid after worthless kid out. I’d also implement a “3 child and done” rule. Meaning if you’re a man or woman who has been responsible for three kids being born, you’re done. Tubes tied, game over. Keep in mind that I come from a huge family (I’m the youngest of 7) and that rule would have meant I would not exist, but still…It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

Question: You recently tweeted something along the lines of wishing you were that one guy on every NBA team who’s only purpose is to hit 3′s off the bench (which was hilarious btw). But how serious would you be about that? Say you had to the chance to go back and choose that as a career, literally being that one who’s only purpose is to hit threes off the bench. No chance to become a superstar, no real lime light, no potential, just that one guy. Would you really do it? Consider that you would probably get traded around a lot (those guys always do), which really seems to be the only downside here.

I’d do that in a heartbeat. First off, I’d get paid millions of dollars to play basketball. All i’d do all day was ball out and chill. I’d play as a role player for 10 years or so, have some great moments and retire rich to probably go on to become a sports analyst. Not only that but because I was just that guy shooting threes for 12 minutes a game, I’d have no notoriety. I’d just be a normal dude who happens to be rich and play a sport for a living. It would be ideal.
As far as the trading thing, I’d handle that by not getting married or having kids while in the league. That way, I could have my fun and come my mid 30’s, I’d settle down. Seriously, what would be better than that?

LOOK AT IT.

After watching that video, would you accept of tortoise penis
transplant to replace your own loin monster if it meant having as much
sex as you could fathom with whom you wanted, where you wanted?

Hmmm…I don’t think so as I’d imagine the horror on the face of every girls I’d fuck when I pulled that oyster shell out my pants wouldn’t be worth it. What girl would want to put their mouth on that? It looks like a wet kids toy or something.

would you fuck a girl with no butt crack? Just one giant cheek.

I don’t think so. Deformities like that turn me off and I know I’d be thinking about it the whole time and trying not to look at it. I simply couldn’t get past it. Not to mention, how would that one cheek effect how the vagina looks? Part of the butt cheeks is that it plays into the symmetry of the vagina. With one butt cheek, it really doesn’t make me think the vagina would be normal.

I guess I should first ask if you’re a Knick fan at all??!?

If so, I’ve been wondering how you feel about the new Knicks?
Are you happy with the play and the dynamic Melo brings to the team?
I know the team is missing some key components, but the record is not looking as good as even I was expecting.
What moves do you see the team needing to make to become a true contender?
How bad did losing Billups hurt this season, or was Chandler worth it.
How much do you hate Mike D’antoni and that fucking stache.
The players NY gave up are thriving in the west with Denver…buyers remorse or optimism for what will be??!?

Since this question was asked, we are knee deep in Linsanity..so things have changed. still, lemme answer…
I am a fan of the knicks. unfortunately , Time warner cable and the MSG network are beefing so i haven’t been able to see a game this year cause they aren’t televised.
I think the trade for Melo was stupid. I never liked it. He’s great but he’s also a guy who doesn’t play well with others. The fact they’ve won 4 in a row without their two biggest stars is telling. Had the team remained the same and added Chandler, I think we’d be like Trailblazers of the east coast. I mea, look at Denver! They’re killing it with half of our team.
I think for them to contend, they would have to trade melo for an elite guard and strengthen the bench with hard nosed defensive minded guys. Lin is awesome but I’m also just sorta waiting for him to get exposed. I think his real test will be how he acts once melo and Amare get back. I guess we’ll see.

13 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 72

  1. For Dr. Tony:

    So, I’ve been married to my wife for a year and a half, and we’ve been dating since 2004, in addition to dating summers in-between college. So, we’ve got many years under our belts. We’re basically 30 years old. We’ve dated other people throughout the years leading up to 2004 and got back together after we had calmed down and got jobs, etc.

    To make a long story short, we were heading home after a long weekend hopping from family’s houses to friend’s houses where we didn’t really have the opportunity to shower. We didn’t plan on being away from home so long… it just happened. She had mentioned having sex when we got home, and my first thought was “I am gross from not having showered in almost 2 days.” so that’s what I said. She got upset, because she sometimes thinks that I control sex by denying it when she brings it up. I am aware that sometimes I have done this in the past, just cause I’m tired or whatever. So she is certainly sensitive to it.

    Anyway, she shut down and stopped talking to me. I asked her if she was OK a couple of times and she said “yes”. So I figured “whatever, maybe she just needs to cool off”. Later on the night, we were watching the Grammys and joking around and stuff, and she asked me to make her eggs. I do that shit all the time, cause I love cooking, so I was happy to do it. But then, she said “you owe me. You were mean to me earlier.” So, I was like, “Why are you mad?” I knew why, but I wanted her to say it to me instead of doing some passive aggressive shit like moping around and having me go through the bullshit of “penance eggs”. I would have happily made eggs, but I found myself making them all angry because instead of her just saying “I’m mad and here’s why”, she did it in that roundabout way.

    She even has been upset with one of our mutual friends lately because our friend is sometimes passive aggressive. I know I should have probably worded my sex response better, and I apologized for it after I finally was able to get her to say that’s why she was mad. The thing is, we’re almost 30. It just seemed like a really immature way to go about communicating. Thoughts?

    • I have been married 4.5 years, together since 2001 and we are both 30-ish….so my stats mirror yours pretty closely. Here’s what I’ve learned in re: these situations: Females will frequently pout/sigh/get visibly perturbed about very petty and insignificant things….. and then “say” that nothing is wrong or that it doesn’t concern us, when, in fact, something is very obviously bothering them and it directly concerns us. Once they’ve reached the threshold of annoyance, there is nothing that can be said or done to immediately redeem ourselves. The best thing to do is shut up and let them stew. Within a few hours the truth (or their version of it) will inevitably rise to the surface like an underwater fart. By this time she would have planned her method of broaching the topic and you will have planned your response. Her reaction in this case (and indubitably in many others) is emotionally childish. If you’re like me at all, you feel these episodes are beneath you and don’t understand why you bother putting up with bush-league bullshit. Then you remember you’re married to her. In the end, we have no choice. And that’s ok; over the next 50 years we’re going to deal with plenty of that husband/wife retardedness. The pluses should outweight the minuses, pros over cons and so on. But don’t think things will change over time, or that she’ll grow out of it. What you see is what you get. Until she gets pregnant; then things will be much worse.

      • I think he nailed it. I’m not really in a position to give advice to people who are married as I’m not married but this sounds about right, considering the long term relationships I’ve been in.
        Basically, in general when discussing the roles in a relationship, women are annoying and petty while men are lazy and removed. It’s a match made in hell but i think it’s gonna stay that way.

  2. i mean that whole saving and burying the placenta thing is pretty gross but honestly if someones into that im not gonna judge them.. it sounds like a pretty cool ritual.. obviously ‘modern’ society is gonna think its fucked up but how is it any more fucked up than a lot of the things that are passed off as normal these days.. like you said, its harmless.. if my parents had kept my umbilical cord or some shit id definitely be down to bury it and plant a tree over it… id wonder why they kept it, unless it was specifically for the ritual, in which case id think its pretty cool.. its obviously weird but that alone doesnt really turn me off

  3. Honestly…What China is doing is correct. Have you ever seen their population numbers? It’s pure greed. They have big pollution, education, and health care problems (Rural communities in China still suffer from the BLACK DEATH!!) .

  4. China has roaming “Death Vans” which goes around and gives even petty criminals lethal injections. They also only allow one girl per family and forcefully abort the rest, if you’re caught hiding a second female child from the Government then you will be killed, no questions asked.

    This person is obviously confusing China’s (and Asia in general) preference for boys and their one child policy. There is nothing about girls specifically, just that you are allowed one child per family. Also, it’s not as straightforward as that. They allow exemptions for rural couples, ethnic minorities, parents without any siblings and foreigners. (They made a special exception for families who lost children in the 2008 earthquakes that toppled all the schools.) It only really applies to around 35% of couples. Also, you can get around it just by paying a fine based on your income, job, and other factors. If your first child is a girl or is born with a handicap, you can apply to have a second child. Children born overseas don’t count if they’re not citizens, as well. Forced abortions happen sometimes (more so when the policy was implemented than now.), yes, but they don’t go so far as to kill you. If you are caught, you pay a fine, they don’t kill you. They want your money and if you’re dead, no more money.

    As for the execution vans, regardless of your opinion on capital punishment, for poorer areas that can’t afford to send people to Beijing to be executed, this is very cost effective. It also makes organ harvesting that much easier. I won’t deny that they execute people for stupid shit (tax evasion) but petty criminals is a stretch; it’s mostly for drug traffickers and violent criminals. This person is also acting as if China isn’t a communist country. It’s not an excuse but it is what it is. They don’t, however, roam around and pluck people off the street and kill them.

    TL;DR- this person is an idiot and has no idea what they’re talking about

  5. hey, I’m not married but… a few weeks ago you talked about BDP in New York being awesome etc… have u seen many big rap shows and how were they?
    For example I’m a huge MF Doom fan but a friend of mine saw last year and he said it was so boring. I don’t know, rap is kinda boring live but still, I think the only big big thing I’ve seen is De La Soul and the killed it

  6. This might be one for dr. tony.

    In a healthy relationship, what percentage of importance would you give to emotional vs. physical attraction? (100% emotional being in the deep friendzone and 100% physical being fuckbuddies)

  7. Dr. Tony,

    This might be a little different from your regular “should I hit it or not?” questions…

    I work an office job. I met this girl (Girl 1) at work, and have known her for about 4 years now. I used to consider her a “friend”, even though I kept it strictly work-only. When we met, she let on right away that she was interested, and used to drop hints for me to ask her out. She started to creep me out though, because she seemed really needy, and I could tell that she was stalking me on Myspace, from some conversations we had. So I would always come up with an excuse not to hang out. I never found her even remotely bonerable either. She is about 12 years older than me, one of those holier-than-thou vegetarian, hybrid car types, and overweight. (I know that makes me sound like an asshole, but I usually go for short, thick girls).

    2 years after we met… She started dating some guy from work. I was happy that she was off my nuts, and everything was good. One day, on my lunch break, I was pulling through a drive-thru, and I see dude walking into the restaurant with a different girl (Girl 2) from work. They see me, I see them, and I don’t give a shit. I went back to work, and Girl 1 confronts me about it, asking “did you see my boyfriend in the parking lot with Girl 2 at that restaurant?” It turns out, she was spying on them the whole time, hiding in the bushes. She was too ashamed to admit that she was spying, so she wanted to use me as an excuse, in order to call out her boyfriend. I told her “I don’t think so…My visions bad…I can’t see too well”. I didn’t want to get wrapped up in some bullshit with 3 coworkers.

    2 years later… She is still dating the same guy. She just got one of her coworkers fired, because he “wasn’t a team player”, and she has been bragging about it. I took that guys old job, because it was a good raise, but now I have to work on a small team with her. Ever since I refused to rat out her boyfriend, she has been a complete bitch. She ignores me if I say “hi”. She refuses to acknowledge most work-related things I say, except to correct me, or call out my mistakes in public, especially in front of Management. She is holding a grudge against me, and I think she will jump at an opportunity to get me fired next.

    Blockhead, how do you put bitches in their place? Can I make some sort of peace offering to this animal, or is there a better angle to play?

  8. Pingback: Rap Round Table, Week Ending 2/17/2012

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