Song of the day 3/30/12

Move something by Mystikal & Mannie Fresh

In my continued effort to get Mystikal’s Career back on track, I give you his newest song (as far as I know). Sure, the guy went to jail for sexual assault and extortion. That’s pretty bad. But , and I say this with 100 % sincerity, he’s easily one of my favorite rappers alive so I’ll just act like Chris Brown and R. Kelly fans and pretend that shit never happened. This song is one of those good feeling kinda joints, even when Mystikal is rapping about how he’s 40 and can’t party like he used to. I , for one, appreciate the honesty.
Also, who makes better hooks than Manny Fresh? NO ONE, bro.

Anyway, in case this isn’t your cup of tea, here’s a little bonus. My homeboy Selfsays from Detroit made this video, so I figured I’d share with all of you. Enjoy…

The art of walking (A HOW TO guide for walking in a city)

It’s been a while since I got a nice , ill tempered rant off…Summer is around the corner and my hatred is high right now, so, lemme go in.

Have you ever seen a toddler walk? It erratic. It’s like like a drunk person on roller blades. The great thing about being human and being on this planet is that, eventually, we learn to do things like walk. In fact, I wouldn’t even say we learn to walk as much as human nature leads us on the path to figuring it out. So, let’s be clear: walking is pretty fucking easy for most people. I’d like to think that, once you’re past toddling, you are a pure bred walker (barring physical defects or disabilities). With this in mind, it’s staggering (no pun intended) how so few adults have mastered the art of walking.

New york City is nothing if not a walking city. People don’t drive unless they have to. Because of this, the streets are extremely busy. Even side streets are often a traffic jam of people. However, like most car based traffic jams, there is always a reason for the back up. In the case of people walking around the streets, it’s not a jack knifed trailer or a 4 car pile up. No, it’s some dumb motherfucker who never learned to walk right.

I’m not the most patient person in the world. When I walk around, I plow forward. I don’t look at my immediate surroundings as much as I do the distance , as a means to plan my rout better. I’ll often walk right by people I know on the street without seeing them cause I’m simply not in that mode of thinking. This has led to occasional run in’s with a pile of well placed dog shit but, for the most part, it’s served me well as someone trying to get from point A to point B. But isn’t that the purpose behind walking anywhere? Getting from point A to Point B. Even in a casual stroll through the park, there is always a final destination.

Over the last 15-20 years I’ve noticed the ability to walk correctly amongst the typical NYC civilian has been in a state of regression. Add on the popularity of cell phones and it’s pretty infuriating just trying to get to the corner store without dodging some dickhead lazily texting while he sway-walks down the middle of the street. So, I’d like this to be a rule book for those of you out there…A HOW TO guide for people who have yet to master their stroll. Let’s look a little deeper.

The rules for walking in any city where people walk

1)If you’re texting, stop walking. Slide your ass over to the nearest wall of the nearest building, lean on it, and finish your typing. DO NOT saunter with your head down while you type. Of all the walking offenses, this is the most common. God forbid you get stuck behind a group of teenaged girls who are all tweeting/facebooking/instragramming/texting. You might as well just be walking behind an elephant.

2)If you are with a friend/friends/significant other , do not interlock hands or arms on a busy street. I take great joy in red rovering you motherfuckers cause you’re basically forming a roadblock for all people you pass by. The funniest shit is watching couples hold hands and act as , if they lose grip on the other , they will be sucked away by the undertow. I’m not a fan of hand holding in general but, if you gotta do it, do it when the streets are lightly occupied. Trust me, your partner does not love you less just cause you’re hands aren’t touching.

3)If you run into a friend on the street and start a conversation, do like the texting guy and push it to the side. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to walk around a crowd of people having a jovial convo on a heavily packed street like it with their backyard, I’d have enough money to buy a blow torch to fix the problem.

4)Respect the corner. NEVER stop and chat on the corner. It’s bad enough to do it in the middle of the street but the corner is crucial to all walking traffic. I see this the most with tourist groups who don’t have a clue where they’re going. Listen, I get it…new cities are big and confusing. I’ve certainly been to many places where I had no fucking clue where I was going. But there is a reason why benches and stoops exist. One of those reasons is for a group of lost people to get their bearings. If you’re in a group of people standing on the corner for more than 5 seconds, blocking off 4 directions of people, you deserve to be barreled through with minimal regard.

5)Don’t be Mr. indestructible street crosser. This is the guy who has no regard for the well planned traffic light system. More often than not, it’s accompanied by a smug layer of self importance and they ALWAYS walk as slow as humanly possible. As if they’re challenging the cars. It’s guys (it’s almost always guys) who , even though the light had changed, walk across the street with no care for the on coming cars. The cars slow down (cause hitting him would be an issue) and honk but, no matter how in the wrong he is, he just maintains his slow stroll across the street, holding up traffic for no other reason that being a total asshole. By all means, he deserves to be run over by all those cars…but he never will be. This may be the only case in which I, personally, side with cars over people. It’s just one of those selfish acts that is as much a product of disrespect for a system created to keep order as it is a sure shot sign of being raised poorly.

6) if you’re gonna talk on your phone while walking, treat the street like a highway. Get out of the passing lane. I don’t know why people seem to become whimsical drifters when they are forced to both walk and talk at the same time, but it happens to all of us. So, you know, just stick to one side of the street so others can pass you without having to do that thing where they’re shadowing you cause you’re cell phone strut is so unpredictable.

7) Watch where the fuck you’re going. It’s so simple yet so difficult. Think of how many altercations are started by people bumping into other people. Maybe I’m just a pussy, but I’m hyper aware of this. I duck and contort to avoid any sort of direct contact with other people on the street. The craziest part is , in general, the biggest culprit of this are tiny women. Little head full of steam ass bitches who think they can just plow through anyone if they don’t get out of her way. This ultimately ends how you think it might with the tiny girl barreling into a grown man and losing the battle to a person who didn’t even know he was a part of it in the first place. Hell, even just grazing these types tends to knock them off balance and it’s 100% their fault.

Pretty ranty, huh? Well, whatever the case, i feel much better. Feel free to add on if I forgot anything. I’m sure i did, as there is no end to lengths people will go to be shitty walkers.

Also, if this all sounds familiar I may or may not have written something like this in the past. I honestly don’t remember. Regardless, my apologies if that’s the case. If anything, it’s just solid proof of how truly annoying people , who don’t know how to walk , are.

Move over Grindtime! Sir Jarlsberg came to battle

As you know, I’ve been big upping my man Sir Jarlsberg pretty hard around these parts. This newest video has him in a rap battle. This actually happened. He really did this. It’s so fucking good. Being there live was extra amazing cause most of the crowd had no idea what the fuck was going on. I almost feel bad for the other dude in the battle cause what can you really say to a guy dressed up like that who’s rapping about you being “an ogre’s chauffeur”?

If you’re clueless to who the man is, do a search on this blog and you will be greatly rewarded with all sorts of videos, free music downloads and a deeper explanation of what’s going on.

While I got you here, might as well spread some more video love…
Here’s my boy Fat Jew and his partner Johnny Sollis in the new pilot for their show “Bottle PoppAZ” , which is about two club promoters in Scottsdale, Arizona

Also, in case you missed this one from a while back, here was another one he (and Johnny Sollis) did that was a hilarious take off on the “Laguna beach”/”The city” type shows

And, finally, I still love Tenacious D. I know people out there feel like Jack Black is the least funny person alive but fuck those people. When in his pocket, he’s still got it…and never is he more in his pocket than with Tenacious D. I dunno if there’s a new movie coming with this new album but I hope so.

More info on my new album! Free downloads! Woo-hoo!

So, My new album , “Interludes After Midnight” drops on April 30th on Ninja Tune Records.
This has been covered pretty extensively so lemme just jump right into giving you the links…

Here’s the Ninja tune page for the album , including a link to a free download to my song “NEver forget your token”

Here’s the soundcloud page for “Never forget your token”

Here’s a link to I-tunes, where you can pre-order the album:

Here’s a link to the ninja tunes shop where you can pre-order the vinyl and bonus 7”

Here’s a link to to pre-order all that shit as well…

Here’s a link to where you can download the “Beyond reach (featuring Baby Dayliner) for free:

Answers for questions vol. 78

Yo yo…Hi every one. Back again with some answers for your questions. As always, send me more question to or leave them in the comments.
This week’s questions are fairly straight forward but don’t be afraid to get a little weird with me…Strange questions are always the best.
Anyway, on with the show…

If Justin Bieber (or someone equally as terrible) offered you one mil. to produce a song for him would you take it? Catch is, your name has to appear in the credits. (Not sure if this has been asked before)

Fuck yes. A mill? for ONE song? That would pay for my life for the next 10 years.
Also, assuming they hiring me cause they want the kind of music I make, that means I’d get to make a beat that I approve of. It’s not like I’d be making a pop beat…I don’t even know how to do that. So, basically, they’d pay me to give Biebz the Blockhead sound. That’s not only hilarious to imagine but I’d be curious to see how it would unfold. On top of all that, I’d get to hear a detailed description of what sex with Selena Gomez is like from an 18 year old boy perpective. Which I’m sure is both hilarious and slightly erotic.

Do you ever see a time when you will not listen to rap? I mean I have listened to it for pretty much all of my 33 years, so lets say 20 or so have been listening to rap. Do you think our generation will be in retirement homes playing Ice Cube like the old people of today listen to jazz or whatever the fuck it is old people listen to now?

I’ve thought about that a lot. Both in terms of listening to and making it. The way i see it is , though I’ll definitely expand my taste as I get older, there will always be an interest in rap. I may not keep up with new shit but , I can’t imagine a time, when “Ain’t no half steppin” by big daddy kane comes on and I don’t rap a long just a little bit. The same way your parents will listen to the Beatles and The Doors till they die, I’ll listen to Kool G Rap and Doom. That is, until I get to the point where my hearing sucks and all low bass tones just sound like dog whistles to me.

I’ve been listening to Downtown Science a lot recently (good stuff). Where’d you get the vocals of the guy and the girl, like “in the meantime let’s do some sightseeing. You’ve probably been to Coney Island?” Is that from a play or something?

It’s all from a record I had called something like “A day in Manhattan” (it’s been a while and I don’t have the record near me right now to check for sure). I’m pretty sure it was an old musical from the 60’s

What is the coolest/ creepiest thing a fan has ever done?

I met a dude with a tattoo of my old logo on his arm. That was more cool than creepy cause he did the wise thing and got the cartoon, and not words tatted on him:

There’s also a shirt a big fan of mine made (possibly my biggest fan I’ve ever met).

I dunno how well you can see it but there’s all sorts of amazing shit on that shirt. Aside from pictures of me and my album covers, she threw in a unicorn cumming a rainbow in a cats face. If i could, I’d manufacture that shirt and sell it on tour.
Shout out to Kitty bear , who made the shirt.
As for creepy, the creepiest thing fans do is when they come up to me at shows and stare at me. Then when I say hello they barely respond, only to awkwardly blurt out some weird technical nerd question like “so, does the ASR 10’s Midi capabilities live up to todays standards?” 2 minutes later. Those people scare the shit out of me.

What do you imagine you’ll be doing when you’re 60? I have no fucking clue. In fact, I’d rather not even think about it. Not making beats, that’s for sure.

When do you think will be the next time the Raptors make the playoffs? Will they even be in the league for long? What would you do with the team if the GM?

I could see the Raptors just being like an eastern conference version of the Clippers in the 90’s. Aside from shitty management , no one wants to go there. They will eventually make the playoffs but they’ll be a first round knock out team for the rest of our lives.
If I was the Gm, I’d be frustrated and I’d probably sell the team. The location and market limit that team just as much as the talent on the team.

K I’ve got a random question. I wanna know why hipster seem to love super swag ass rap…like I don’t mean Mac Miller swag, I mean some real slurry g shit.

And I don’t mean wannabe hipsters, I mean hipster who wear old-fashioned chapeu’s, half-run underground art dens, and claimed themselves “the other 1%” during #occupy hahha. but for real, the hippest facefriend I know likes this kinda shit:

I don’t get it…is it good cuz its not, and thats ironic? I think that’s the funny answer, but I think there’s more to it…. Take BSBD for instance, I absolutely love everything they do, and I love their new album, but I just didn’t expect them to link up with a cat like Nacho…but then I realized, its cuz they’re hipster as shits. (not knockin the album…numbnuts is the freshness).

BSBD live pretty close to where I do, so maybe it is an isolated phenomenon, but I don’t get it. Hipster elite used to hate gangster rap the most, now its all they’ll listen to…and I don’t really give a shit about what most hipster do, cuz they’re kinda like the kaleidescope of the social world, but still, why the g’est rap on earf?

First off, I don’t really put BSBD in with that crowd at all. Nacho is dope and they’re really good producers.
As for hipsters and their take on rap, I’ve had this theory for a while and I’ve even said it on this blog a few times to some negative feedback…but let me try again.

I’m convinced that Hipsters can only like one type of rap at once. Because rap isn’t as cool as it once was , this can almost be whittled down to one group or movement at a time.
In the late 90’s/early2000’s , when the hipster movement really became visible, they were down with underground hip hop. If you went to an Aesop show back then, you’d see hipsters.
They quickly abandoned that once indie rock exploded and the only rap they were left liking was hardcore drug selling rap. The Clipse and Dipset (whom I both am a fan of) became the go to rap that any hipster would admit liking. It was almost as if that was a reaction to them feeling like herbs for liking the backpack rap they were bumping 5 months earlier. Something always rubbed me wrong about hipsters liking the drug rap cause there was a slight element of racism in there. It’s hard to express but it was a bunch of white suburban dudes who moved to cities and , very likely , had very little experience with any thing thug or drug related. This is fine and dandy but it was more the whitening perspective they took towards the music. If you read the review of Cam’ron’s “Purple Haze” on Pitchfork, you’d think Cam was like Nas Circa Illmatic. The dude writing the review was drawing all these crazy conclusions and theories behind the music from an album that was basically a really well produced comedy album with raps about drugs and fucking bitches (I love that album, btw).
I always liked to imagine a hipster nerd telling someone like Cam’ron his deeply nerdy version of how her perceives his music and how Cam would react. The jokes would be plentiful.

They (hipsters) were also drawn to crunk rap. Basically anything that they could bug out too that was ignorant. Again,if felt this was a backlash to the liking of the nerd rap years earlier. Hipsters are nothing if not fickle and reactionary.

A little more time passed and rap was uncool again, then Odd Future popped up. All of a sudden, hipsters liked Odd future. It has as much to do with the music itself as the machine behind it. The internet is a motherfucker and things snowball all the time. As much as I like Odd Future, just going to their first show in NYC , I knew it was out of control. It was a room of 30% young kids and 70% old blogger types who were just catching on to it. Since then, that’s transformed to the ASAP Rocky camp and even Riff Raff.
I gotta say, I don’t dislike any of the music that hipsters like. I suppose Kreayshawn is applicable but her time is over and I’m pretty sure she’ll never have another song again….the only exception is that I think RIff Raff is a joke…Like literally. In fact, I wrote something about it a while back:

as well as my take on ASAP Rocky
Anyway, to get back to the initial question…why do hipsters tend to like G’d out shit? It’s cause it’s the farthest thing from they’re real life. It’s like watching Game of thrones for your ears.

Song of the day 3/23/12

Oldie (Just’s earls verse edit) By Earl

Ever since his release from samoan summer camp, people have been tweeting and emailing me, asking what I think of Earl being a free man again. There’s not much to say about it…he’s here now. That’s awesome and I hope he makes a lot of music.

From the time Earl left to now, it’s no secret that Odd Future has blown up to the point of Tyler being on Punk’d. All the while, a large portion of us who were peeping them when they started have all been patiently waiting for the return of Earl Sweatshirt. After all, it was him who put most of the first wave of fans onto their music at all. Sure, Tyler’s video for “French” was before “Earl”, but let’s be honest, no one REALLY gave a shit about “French”. As an old rap head, hearing Earl for the first time was an experience. He was pretty much a rap savant. At 16 , he was better than most rappers could be in a million years. Unfortunately, all he left us with , prior to being shipped off to samoa, was one ep and a bunch of loose verses.

Now that he’s back, it’s time for some new shit. The first taste is his verse on “Oldie” off the newest Odd Future mixtape. Buried in a posse cut towards the end of the 10 minute song, Earl comes out with guns blazing and assures us all that he didn’t lose his edge while serving his time. A good person was kind enough to edit the song to just Earl’s verse cause, come on, when it really comes down to it, that’s why we’re all here , right?

A bunch of little things…

What’s up…instead of making like 5 little posts dedicated to a link or a thought, I figured I’d knock them all out right here. So, this is just a bunch of random shit concerning music, links and joy.

First off,
If you wanna peep clips from my new album “Interludes after Midnight”, Ninja tune is steaming them from their site:

Now, I realize the album has been leaked. And While hearing this (or just reading it right here) will no doubt lead to more than a few of you just going to find a download link right now, there’s nothing I can really do about it. Albums get leaked. It’s happened before and it will happen again. Do I like it? not really. I think I’m more bummed that it’s supposed to drop on May 5th so having it leak this soon is a bit early for my taste. On one hand, it’s cool that people are into it so much that they’re rushing to download (it was the #1 download on yesterday) but it’s hard to separate that from the fact that no one’s gonna buy the record. But, that’s what making music in 2012 is like so all i can do is accept it. So, if you downloaded it (and enjoyed it), do me the solid and come to a show when I’m in your town. Then we’re even.
For those of you who do still buy music, there will be a vinyl release as well as a bonus 7″ featuring two songs that didn’t make the album. Those two songs will also be available digitally via I-Tunes and the Ninja Tune Website.
Regardless of how you hear it and when, I hope you enjoy the album. I put in a lot of work on it and all I can ask is that , if you do download it today or tomorrow, actually listen to it. Don’t do that thing where you listen to the first 20 seconds then skip to the next track. My albums don’t work like that. Every song is constantly evolving. The songs have a beginning, a middle and an end. This isn’t a mixtape by Gucci Mane.

Oh and to all the people asking me how it leaked, the blame lies on the press. Ninja tune sent out press copies last week and within 4 days it was upped somewhere. So, whoever did that, you’re a dickhead and your blog/magazine/whatever-it-is-you-write-for sucks. I understand it’s fun to share but have some consideration for the artists. I mean, if your job is to review music, that must mean ,on some level, you both enjoy and respect music. Well, in the future, try and do that without being an album leaking asshole. It’s really not that hard. I realize it sounds like I’m scathingly bitter right now, but really, it’s all part of the game. I understand that. I feel more like disappointed father who just found his son jerking off to granny porn.

Some of them got uploaded to youtube already…Enjoy.

Also, here’s a little video the good people at Mushpost put together showing highlights of a recent show I did in Burlington AKA THE BURL.

Blockhead + kuxxan SUUM. Club Metronome, BTV from Brandon Jones on Vimeo.

What else…

Oh, hey, you like to laugh? Continuing with my on going campaign to big up sir Jarlsberg, here’s a link to hilarious radio interview the man himself did (featuring friend Lord Richard) on Benchwarmer radio. It’s a sports talk show but the first half is pretty much a total bug out session. If you like sports, stick around for the second half as well.–31912

If you’ve ever looked at the cover art for my album “The music Scene” and thought “hey , that shit is awesome” then I’d like to inform you that the artist ,Owen Brozman , just illustrated a graphic novel called “Nature of the beast”. It’s written by the same guy who wrote “Go the fuck to sleep”.
Anyway, it’s awesome and , if your a graphic novel type of person, I think you should go buy that shit…

Last but not least, my boy Billy Woods just dropped the first single off his upcoming album “History will Absolve me”. It’s fucking ridiculous. It features Masai Bey and Roc Marciano and it’s produced by Willie Green. As far as I’m concerned this is one of the best beats I’ve heard all year. Thunderous shit…Here’s a link–billy-woods—-Body-Of-Work–Ft–Roc-Marciano—Masai-Bey.html?soid=1102260497929&aid=7mAmtqqQ5sk

Some good old album tracks

There was a time when a person would buy a record, cassette or CD and take it home and listen to it. Weird, right? Back in that long lost time, albums had something known as “Singles”. A “single” was the first song off that album that would be leaked to radio stations. It was usually chosen because it was felt that song was the most easily digestible of all the tracks on that album. However, often, the lead single off an album wouldn’t be all that. In fact, in many cases, it was just the artists/labels failed attempt at crossing over to a larger audience. IF you were like me, in those days, you always loved a nice album track. These were the tracks buried on albums. They never got radio play, they never got played at shows…but they were often some of the best tracks on the album.
Because it’s been a while since I made you guys any compilations, I figured this would be as good angle to take.
Basically, there are some of my favorite “lost” (in the sense of forgotten, not rare) album cuts. Some of these are from some somewhat known rappers, others are fairly obscure.
If you’re a young person, these will all be new to you..if you’re old like me (and a rap nerd) this will be a walk down memory lane. Either way, they’re fucking good…Enjoy!
(This is part 1, I’ll post part two in an upcoming week)

Album tracks:
1)Can’t hold back: Dred Scott
2)Heels Without souls: Hard 2 Obtain
3)Mama’s always on stage: Arrested development
4)Southern Friend: P.E.A.C.E.
5)Street sweeper: Da Bushwackass
6)Fake Charades: Lewis Parker
7)Lost in Thought: Funkdoobiest
8)My cheating days are over: Rich Nice
9)The U is Smooth: Grand Daddy I.U.
10)All on my nutsac: Da Lench Mob
11)Cleopatra: YoYo
12)Tru Master; Tru Master
13)Crotch ripper-mad speaker: Trends of culture
14)Lingering: Jak Progresso
15)The streets are a battlefield: KMC
16)Ghetto instinct: Da King & I
17)Well of 100 souls: A-Teem.

P.S. I’m pretty sure I’ve given some of these away on my blog os “song of the day” joints but I can’t keep track of that shit so, you know, if you got’em from me already, let it go. It’s still free, bro.