Answers for questions vol. 84


Whattup everyone. Hope you are well and shit. Oh me? I’m fine.
Anyway, send me some questions…normal ones or ask dr. Tony ones. Leave them in the comments below or email me them at phatfriendblog@gmail.com.
This weeks crop of questions is nice. It’s a little of everything. Some good questions, some funny ones, some unbelievably stupid ones. The full spectrum. enjoy…

You are walking home wasted one night, and go in an alley to take a piss. Before you realize it, you wake up an old gipsey woman with a golden shower. She is furious, and decides to put 3 curses on you. Each curse will last 3 years, then the next one will begin.

Curse 1: For 3 years, you cannot leave your home unless you are wearing a mask. You must choose the mask of Batman, MF Doom, or Hannibal Lecter. Which one do you choose, and why?

Curse 2: For 3 years, everything you eat or drink will taste like one kind of cereal. Which cereal do you choose, and why?

Curse 2: For 3 years, you will be stuck reliving the same day over and over, like that movie Groundhog day. You must choose to live each day at a Star Trek convention, a Rodeo, or a Renaissance Festival. You can do anything you want without consequence, except for leave. Which one do you choose, and why?

Points for creativity here…
Okay…
Curse #1: This would be tough cause I feel like I’d become a shut in regardless of the mask. Because of this, I’d angle for the most comfortable mask. I feel like in the case of both the Lecter mask and the batman mask, they’re pretty restrictive. At least the Doom mask would be more like a halloween mask. Also, I could make money on the side performing as Doom. Someone’s else is making money doing that for years now so I might as well benefit from this curse.

Curse #2: I wouldn’t wanna go with anything too sweet cause that would get old quick. I have more of a savory palette too so I think I’d choose something like Corn Flakes or special K. In both cases, I could just eat them as is and it won’t be too sweet, but If I feel like kicking it up a notch I could just add honey or sugar to whatever it is I was eating and make it a more sweet meal. The gross part about this, though, would be eating something with the consistency of , say, a steak and it tasting like corn cereal. That would be pretty fucking hard to get used to. But, on the bright side, getting drunk off of something that tastes like cereal milk would be kinda nice.

Curse #3: Hmm…that’s tough. All I can base this off of is where I’d have the best chance to get some ass. Beyond that, these are all miserable existences. I say that cause the food and people at all the above events would be pretty terrible. On paper, the Renn Fair would be the obvious choice, but those motherfuckers take that shit mad seriously. I don’t think I could handle that world for that long. Having to talk in olde english all day would get tiring. I’ll leave that one for my man Sir Jarlsberg.
In the case of the rodeo, it’s a sporting event but it’s full of dumb crackers and I have no interest in anything like that. The Star Trek convention , however, would be my pick. First off, i don’t give a FUCK about Star Trek. But I’d choose it cause I’d be the coolest person there by far and , at those types of conventions, they always have some hot models dressed like slutty characters from the movie/show for the nerds to fawn over. My whole angle, for 3 years, would be boning all of them. I figure that would keep me occupied pretty nicely.

Hey block, how did your dad influence you? I’m putting that as general as I can. Really I mean, since he was an artist and all, did that help with the music? I get it if its none of my business though.

Just to clarify to those reading, my dad was a sculpture and painter.
http://sidneysimon.com/
I think my dad’s greatest influence was that you CAN be an artist. I never once questioned that growing up. The fact he was able to make his living by creating art was something that, back then, I just assumed was not that hard. Now that I’m older, I realize how crazy a mind set it was. I’ve been lucky enough to be a little successful in music but I doubt I would ever raise my kid to think that they can just blindly be successful as an artist. I’d be supportive of that but there would definitely be a plan B.
It’s funny cause, of all my siblings (I’m the youngest of 7), 5 of us are all working in creative fields. Some more successful than others but it just goes to show what kind of influence something like that can have.

So, I love the Dynospectrum album and so do my friends, we only chill/hangout on Friday nights to get blunted and faded. As we do that, we go into late hours of the night and get into our dark NY hip hop mode and bump raw shit like the dyno and wutang and a shitload of other shit thats dope. I guess this is the way we show our love for hip hop, you know. But my question is, whats your take on the Dynospectrum album?

I only posted this question cause of the extreme randomness of “Dynospectrum”. I mean, I remember them. They had that one album in the early 2000’s and slug was on it, right? It was cool, if memory serves. But this would be like asking me “My friends and I love movies. Every friday we hang out and show love for film by sitting back and watching the movie “The frighteners”.”

I love porn, I love that shit and one of my MANY favorite pornstars(Lisa Ann) recently got a Fleshlight made for the masses to consume. Im 20, and SHIT!!!! I want it!! BUT.. I think that would be going a bit too far. what do you think about the Fleshlight? lol, you’re probably gonna shit on me but hey, fuck it! I wanna know your opinion.

I think dudes who buy a pocket vagina are weird. Especially one that’s designed to be based on a real porn stars vagina. I mean, it’s not like it’s attached to anything. It’s just something that looks like a weird rubber serial killer tool that you stick you dick in. Do you not have hands? How do you even clean those things? The mere thought of how one of those things must smell after a few weeks of usage is enough to make me vomit.
I mean, let’s be honest, you’re fucking this:
That’s as close to a real vagina as it is a pink version of the plant from “Little Shop of Horrors”.
I think the purpose of sex toys are to fulfill a service you cannot do on your own.That’s why they’re aimed at women more. No man is a vibrator. But a piece of rubber kinda/sorta shaped like a pussy that you put your dick in? What’s the point? Also, you’re 20…if you’re already reaching for the disembodied vagina now, it’s a pretty safe bet that you’ll be doing some horrific shit sexually in the near future. Slow down bro. Use your hand…or a girl. As long as she’s willing of course. Just remember, real girls aren’t hand held and no means no.

Hey Blockhead,

What is your opinion on “changing your style up” or the notion that your genre defines you as an artist? Have you ever found yourself really wanting to make an R&B song or do a dance-y song?

I don’t have a problem with it as long as it’s natural. Too many artists have ruined their careers trying to change styles to adhere to what’s popular. If this thought ever goes through your head, you’re a piece of shit: “this genre is hot right now, so I will do that”.

But, if you’re a hip hop guy and you genuinely get into something else and start making that kind of music, that’s fine. I’ve certainly played around with genres when I’ve been making beats. It’s sometimes fun to try and do something out of your comfort zone. That said, when people switch their shit up 180 degrees, it is pretty corny and, worse of all, generally pretty bad music.

U ever think of doing stand-up comedy?

Not really. When I was younger, I used to watch any and all stand up comedy I could. I was obsessed with it (To be clear,I still love it now but I’m not as obsessive about it). When I hear comedians on podcasts talking about how they fell into it, it does sound similar to me. The only difference being I never tried doing it. The same obsession was there though.
Personally, I’ve always been a much funnier person off the cuff than I am if I sit down and write something. On top of that, I have lots of trouble with memorization. It’s part of the reason I stopped rapping. I can’t remember things like that. Beyond that though,I have too much respect for what comedians do. That is some ballsy shit right there. I feel like my fear of rejection would be too much to handle. The bottom line is, doing stand up is not easy. Just being funny isn’t all you need. I’m a student of it ,in a sense that I’ve been watching it religiously since i was a kid. Because of that, I know it’s not something I’m really cut out for. Not to mention, most comedians are pretty miserable underneath it all and I’m , in general, pretty content. That just wouldn’t translate well on stage.

Hey man I figure you are an intelligent gangster and can answer this question with the biting wit and incisive commentary we have come to expect from your blog.. Ok. What do u think of this Iggy Azalea bitch? She is basically a nobody that grew up on Tupac and now she is living her dream as the next big femcee. Well, she is basically a total actress. She speaks in a thick Australian accent, but then she raps in this southern pimp drawl. She is an Aussie girl. It annoys me that this stupid bitch feels the need to completely front on where she came from? In all honesty I don’t really give a shit, but what are your opinions on this sellout white trash hooker? I think she should stop rapping and focus on inter-racial porn, myself. Word

I dunno bro, you seem like you do really give a shit.
To me, she’s a non-factor. She’s hot. So there’s that. Can she rap? I guess. But , like you said, the fake accent when she raps is pretty embarrassing. To me, she’s got a gimmick and is gonna run with it. But she’s no better or worse than hundreds of other rappers. The only difference is that she’s a hot, blonde , white girl from australia so hipsters and blogs are gonna be more willing to give her shine. I can’t really blame her for riding the wave.
I can say that I question anyone who actually likes her music. I mean, I’ll watch her videos all day but the thought of this coming on in a car or my Ipod and actually listening to it? That’s hilarious to me. I say this often but, in terms of mediocre music, I don’t get it. It’s not like there is a shortage of good music out there so we’re forced to listen to middle of the road crap. And it’s not like some guilty pleasure shit either. This is just some girl rapping fast about nothing over non-descript electro beats. Surely we could all find something a little better to pass our time with.

8 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 84

  1. Any thoughts on RJD2 changing up his music so dramatically? I really liked his first few (two?) solo instrumental albums, then one day it all turned into the Beach Boys. It’s silly, but I felt kind of betrayed. Like he was never sincere about his hip hop stuff because what he really wanted to do was make hippy music.

  2. Cool post. My Dad all but disowned me when I decided to go to art school. I kind of get it though. Art school was full of entitled rich assholes (I’m sure they still are today). Not all of them are thankfully.

  3. What are your top three comedy podcast and are there any out their that are under the radar and you could turn us on to? Always looking for some new ones.

  4. I have dine several improv comedy clubs (beat being the laugh factory in Cali. My reply deviates from the general comments. My Question to you is… Who would to say are your fav Comedians who are still loving? 2nd is who is your fav comedian of all time?
    My fav who are still alive would be Dough Stanhope, Joe Rogan and lat but not least Louis C.K.

  5. I think I have a good one, what are your opinions on people such as Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails), and Richard D. James, (Aphex Twin)? I can see you listening to Aphex, but not really NON, Any Opinions?

  6. have you ever been robbed at gun/knife point? related question, have you ever thought you were going to die?

  7. If you had to choose just ONE MC from following groups/collectives: Juice Crew, Boot Camp, Wu-Tang, Dipset and AOTP to form supergroup, who would that be? Mind you, goal is to make group that would fuction well together on more than just one song, possibly be able to make an album or EP

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