Answers to questions vol. 85



Bon jour.
Another week, another batch of questions. This week is heavily food themed, but that’s cause I love food , someone recognized it and pandered to my weakness.
Anyway, if you got more questions (the stranger the better) , send them to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below.

How will this hologram technology affect the pornographic community? Imagine sometime down the road when you can watch porn featuring your hologram boning some chick you have no business boning,,,or any other plethora of ideas.

Well, porn seems to be ahead of the curve already. They have that “interactive” porn where a girl talks directly to you and you control what shots and positions you want to see. But, I gotta think your on to something and someone is working on some sort of hologram attached to a fake vagina. Perhaps Fleshlight has something in the works.
Basically, in about 20 years , people will no longer need to even speak. You’ll just be sitting on my insanely comfortable barcalounger , skimming through synthetic vaginal options on your playstation 12 while eating food that was delivered via skype. Perhaps you’ll be in a Liz taylor in 1965 mood or maybe more of a Belinda Carlisle in the 80’s kinda mood. Regardless, the result will be the end of civilization as we know it and a whole bunch of people rolling over in their graves.
I just imagined the deep feeling of shame one would feel the second that nut was busted, the hologram vanished and it was time to clean out the now sullied sex machine. It’s almost enough to make a person actually try and meet a real , breathing girl!

What is the best way for fans to support you and your music? More specifically, what method of buying allows you to receive the maximum amount of financial support from my purchase?

It’s amazing how often this question gets asked. I suppose that’s a good thing though.
If you’re one of those people who still purchases music , first off, thanks. Secondly, no matter where you buy it, it’s all the same to me. Itunes, amazon, ninjatune.net, a store ect…The only way I don’t see any profit from it is if you illegally download it or buy it used. Otherwise, it’s all basically the same.
The most money I can make off a sale is if you are to buy it from me at a show in person. That money goes right into my pocket.
But, yeah, to the people purchasing my shit, don’t sweat it. As long as you’re buying it, you’re doing good by me.

And now, some food show related questions followed by food questions…
I love mayo. It’s the perfect sauce for most sandwiches, and is also versatile for all sorts of other shit, be it dipping sauces for finger foods, main ingredient for little apps like deviled eggs, etc. Anyway, my question is – what is up with people who actively hate mayo? I’m not talking about people who just try to avoid it because of weight or they’re a little skeeved out by the tanginess of it… I’m talking about people who go out of their way to belittle anyone who likes it and has to go on a “I hate mayo!!!” tirade. I’ve also noticed that there seems to be some stereotype about blacks not liking mayo (there was even that whole running joke in Undercover Brother about it)… yes, I have seen Undercover Brother.

Thank you for the mayo tirade loosely based around the a question.
But, I agree. Mayo is fucking awesome. As far as sandwiches are concerned, there is no better condiment than mayo. Beyond that, I put it on fries, chicken fingers…anything salty within reason really.
I’ve come across plenty of people who are repulsed by it though. While I feel they are categorically wrong, what are you gonna do? Force them to love mayo? Some people just don’t like dairy products. Some people also like to erotically take shits on one another. The world’s just funny like that.

Do you ever watch shows like Chopped or Top Chef? Not so much the Man v. Food-type shows that you’ve written about before. My question is – do you get annoyed at how much things like presentation, color, etc. are over emphasized in these shows? It always boggles my mind that pretentious chef-types will judge on anything besides taste alone. If it looks like a pile of shit but smells and tastes good, I’m down with it.

I love both those shows. I’m gonna skip over Top Chef cause it’s on a higher level but I want to smack the shit out of pretty much every judge on Chopped. They are the worst. I’ve never seen judges let their own specific tastes guide a show as much as that one does. Like that one woman who always complaining about spicy food. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND EAT IT! I don’t love spicy food either but I could certainly gauge how good or bad a meal is regardless of the spice factor.
And the presentation thing on chopped is ridiculous. If it tastes good, they need to just fall back and accept.
On a side note, I went to high school with a’ron Sanchez (he was simply “Aaron” back then). He was a funny dude but also one of the cockiest cocksuckers I’ve ever met. It’s funny cause he was kinda on some thuggy shit back then and way always the dude who would snap on people (he was very skilled at that), so to see him all proper and talking about flovor profiles is pretty hilarious to me. His parents owned a bunch of restaurants so I guess he kinda fell into the family business.

Speaking of Man v. Food – what is your opinion on Man v. Food Nation in the sense that Adam no longer does the challenges himself? The idea annoyed me at first, but I still find the show enjoyable, aside from maybe those times where they have truly obnoxious people doing the competitions (a.k.a the LoCash Cowboys). Also, do you think they stopped Richman from doing the competitions because of the amount he ballooned up over the years?

I haven’t watched Man Vs. Food Nation much but it’s pretty clear that Adam is doing it for health reasons. He got fat as fuck after a few seasons of Man V food and eating the way he did can’t be good for you on any level. No amount of exercise is gonna fix that kind of damage. I eat like a typhoon and I don’t even wanna get into my bowel movements (follow me on twitter for that). Seriously, I’ve almost never met anyone who eats faster than me. But what Adam does? That’s a heart attack waiting to happen. I’m pretty sure the format change up of that show was doctor recommended.

Any foods on tour that you didn’t think you’d like, but were more or less forced to eat out of convenience or whatever reason and now love?

I’m afraid there’s no such thing as experimental eating while on the road. It’s all fast food or shit like Cracker Barrel. When traveling the focus is usually trying to find the least disgusting option. So, it’s not like I’m eating rattlesnake pie in new mexico…unless Burger king decides to make that a new menu feature. In which case, I’ll have the chicken sandwich.

Now a fucked up one – For some reason, you wake up one morning and all of the variety of mom-and-pop food options in NYC have been replaced by mass-market chain locations. Like, the cool hole-in-the-wall Chinese spot and the awesome Korean BBQ joint are now both P.F. Changs. All your sandwich spots are now Panera Breads. Your pizza spots are now all either Papa Johns or Dominos. Every other major city is fine though – this vortex of mediocrity has only taken over NYC. Do you think it’d be enough for you to pick up and move to Toronto, Chicago, or any other NYC-like metropolis just for the plentiful food options? It should be noted that this switch in NYC is forever. You’re either all-in or all-out. Those cool places are never coming back.

Jesus…that’s tough. I mean, for that to happen, the city would probably collapse in about 2 weeks. But honestly, I think i would deeply consider leaving. I’ve have to learn how to drive first, but after that, I’d probably move to San Fran or something like that. What a shitty question to have to answer. Jerk.

Hey Blockhead, what do you think about minimalism in music? I’m just listening to DJ Krush (as one does, though not you, I’d imagine), and it made me think of something you wrote once. You said with sampling, anyone can through a beat and some sounds together, but it takes layering to really create something good with samples (that’s paraphrasing, obviously, maybe you said something else entirely). On the other hand, Krush’s stuff is pretty minimal, some of his songs really are a beat, some bass and one or two melodies. This is quite a contrast to your music these days, I just wondered if you had any thoughts on this.

I think minimalism in hip hop production is extremely hard to pull off well. But, when done right, it’s the best. I’ve never been good at it…in fact, I don’t think I could do it if I tried. I’m incapable of just making something really simple and leaving it alone.
I’d say the Neptunes are kings of that sound. Their run in the early 2000’s was epic for minimal beats that were just awesome. Timbaland too. El-p’s earlier work was some really fantastic minimal stuff.
In the case of Krush, he’s made some great minimal stuff. I prefer it when there’s a rapper on it though. Minimal instrumental him hop music just seems a little masturbatory on the part of the producer. Like I imagine some bedroom producer just sitting there after dropping the sound of a bird squawking over a break beat , add on bass tone and thinking he’s made some great artistic accomplishment.
I’d say minimalism is music is no different than in normal art. You can’t just start being a minimalist. You gotta learn how to make music first and then eventually you find your way there through perspective and knowledge of what you’re doing.

have you heard of Kitty Pryde?
she’s a white girl rapper, but she really embraces her whiteness, unlike Kreayshawn.

what do you think of her? future viral chick?

This one got asked a few times this week so I figured I push it to the front of the queue.
What do i think of this little girl “rapping”? I don’t. This isn’t a thing. This is just some shit that the internet picked up on that will undoubtedly spin out of control. I read an interview with her and she says she was just making songs as jokes to play for her friends. Why this got picked up on any level (beside it just being really terrible) is beyond me. Am I mad at it? Not at all. But, if you’re a writer or a blogger and you’re giving shine to this shit, what the fuck is wrong with you? Your world must be so meta that you can barely leave the house without walking into yourself.
Here’s the thing, things like this only become a “thing” if we allow them to. For everything video like this, there are hundred of others just like it. Equally harmless and useless. It’s gotten to the point where , if you put a white girl in front of a camera and have her rap at all, if a guaranteed youtube views. As a society, lets all just get together and say it once and for all “We get it…white girls/white teenaged boy dorks rapping badly is funny. Now let’s move on”. Perhaps dogs will learn to speak and they can make funny rap videos that will change the game?
Again, I’ve got no beef with Kitty Pryde. She’s just a teenaged girl doing some shit teenagers do. To be mad at her about this would be like getting mad at Ronald MacDonald for giving you high cholesterol. It’s the “tastemakers” that really need to go re-evaluate themselves. Fuck your taste. You guys forget that 85% of the internet is dumb enough to believe what you say. The next thing we know, Kreayshawn has a million dollar record deal and she literally cannot rap well enough to make a second song. Basically, just let these things come a go. It’s not harming anyone to shine a light on something for 5 days and let it pass without first putting it up on a pedestal , only to tear it down a week later.

17 thoughts on “Answers to questions vol. 85

  1. “Your world must be so meta that you can barely leave the house without walking into yourself.”

    YES. You just hit the nail on the head for 90% of people on the internet.

    Another problem is everything has to be “the best” or “the worst”. Why can’t it just be mediocre, and why can’t we just enjoy things for what they are without making everything into a “viral sensation”?

  2. On the note of minimalist music, I was wondering your opinion of that abstract shit that (unfortunately) your label-mate Amon is pooping out. I understand artistic expression and the veering out of mainstream accessibility in order to attempt to evoke or express emotions that are only picked up by only your most dedicated followers (who may or may not be pretentiously faking it, “Nice clothes Emperor!”). Just like Aphex Twin. No doubt at all that these are both extremely skilled producers, and their painting of an aural landscape is most definitely an artistic endeavor, but is it really music? Last I checked music had to have rhythm just as paintings had to have a canvas. Thoughts?

    • Questioning whether Amon Tobin’s music is music because it’s abstract is like questioning whether Aesop Rock is really a rapper because his lyrics are abstract. If it doesn’t connect with you, why put yourself through listening to it? It’s all music, Amon Tobin, Aphex Twin, Brian Eno, Philip Glass and Block himself (“Roll Out the Red Carpet” from Downtown Science channels Amon Tobin to me and always has) consistently point out that you can’t define music as “kick-snare-kick-snare”. Where is your line in the sand between painting an aural landscape and making music?

      • Aesop still speaks English though, right? And his lyrics rhyme? I’m discussing the basic boundaries that define one’s medium and expression therein. I think personally think the art is more creative and effective at conveying it’s desired effect if it stays inside the lines.
        These lines [in the sand] for instrumental music I would say would be rhythm. Not necessarily “kick-snare-kick-snare” but definitely a pattern or time signature. Which, among the artists you mentioned, only the first two have deviated from… from what I’ve heard. When your “music” consists of plonking noises in a hallway followed by 30 seconds of silence and then some loud electro-swoosh and 3 seconds of a breakbeat followed by silence yet again… I have trouble classifying just exactly what it is.

  3. Ive got a Dr Tony one for ya,
    MY boy was dating this fine but crAAAzy 19 year old a while ago, long story short he fell completely in love with her and she just didnt give a shit. One halloween when we were all hanging out he ended up passing out, i was macking it to his gf’s friend who she brought along in his living room. Anyway she ended up coming out mid bang and joined in, SCORE! we were all rolling and I feel bad about it but but really how could I say no. we never talk about it and she ends up hookin up with another of his friends later on (a few weeks) then they break up. Fast forward a year or so and shes trying to get back with him, hes talking to me about how he loves her and he knows she only cheated on her once and asking my advice. Should I tell him that no shes a filthy slut and we had a threesome while they were dating, MY gut tells me no! God No! But he should def not date her again, and he wont listen to my advice otherwise ( ive tried telling him to just leave her be, shes craazy) what would u do?

  4. You still playing in Milwaukee soon or did that already happen? I was planning on buying your new album then but haven’t seen any updates on when/where you were playing.

  5. Regarding mayo: for those with aversions, I highly recommend Veganaise (the Follow Your Heart brand – all the others are gross). Even before I started eating vegan, I was grossed out by mayo (both conceptually and by the taste); I have met many people, regardless of diet, who have come around through Veganaise.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s