The only thing that really offends me

If you read this blog often, you might assume I have a short fuse of sorts. Not in a violent way, but I certainly spend a lot of time on here complaining about things that annoy me. Truth be told, I actually don’t really give a fuck about much. I think its fun to rant about the minutia of life but, in my every day existence, I’m pretty even-tempered. “. That said, there is one thing I actually do get offended by…It’s not you calling my mom a whore (cause I know she isn’t). It’s not you telling my music sucks (cause who cares what you think?). It’s when people who move to NYC slander Manhattan.

Here’s what happened.
I was at a show this week. So, I’m just chilling, standing in the crowd at a rap show in Manhattan. I look down and see this:

In case you can’t make it out…that’s a handbag with the words “Fuck Manhattan” written on it.
Now, just looking at the bag, I can 100% correctly assume it was made in Brooklyn. I haven’t fact checked that but I’d probably bet my unborn child’s life on it. I’d also venture to guess it’s made of biodegradable hemp and was sewn by a girl with thick rimmed glasses and huckleberry finn jeans. The girl toting it around looked as if she had just stepped off the horse-drawn buggy from wherever the fuck she’s from and moved to Brooklyn last month. If you look closely, you might notice she’s wearing shoes with the british flag on them. I don’t know why but , when added to the fact she was sporting that bag , I was about ready to kill someone. I’d like to repeat, she wore this bag TO A SHOW IN MANHATTAN. I must admit, she’s got balls…and she’s a fucking idiot.

I think what gets me about this is the gall of this particular person to have this bag. I’d be fine if it was some life long Brooklyn/queens person toting it around. But the thing is, no life long Brooklyn Queens person would ever own that fucking thing in the first place. It’s just not that kind of party between boroughs. At it’s worst, it’s like sibling rivalry. Do I think Manhattan is the best? Of course…but it’s cause I’m from here. I’d expect the same for anyone from whatever borough they’re from. Even someone from that shit hole Staten Island is justified in telling me how S.I. is superior cause that’s where they’re from (not to be confused with “where they live”). As much as I might have no interest in going to Queens or the Bronx, I certainly harbor no ill will towards them. And Brooklyn…Brooklyn is great. If I didn’t live in downtown Manhattan, I’d wanna live in a few parts of BK. The biggest strike on Brooklyn is that it’s become a nesting ground for out-of-town dickheads who buy “Fuck Manhattan” bags.

I think these people don’t realize that Manhattan was once cool like Brooklyn is cool now. One of the reasons it got uncool was cause it got too expensive for 24-year-old college post grads to afford. Because of this, they all moved to Brooklyn where they gentrified neighborhoods and pretty much turned parts of Williamsburg into Amherst , Massachusetts. That fine and dandy but I’m pretty sure if you offered any of these people an apartment in a cool location somewhere in downtown Manhattan for the same size and price of the place they’re living right now, a decent amount would jump at the offer. Why? Cause, as cool as brooklyn is, it’s still not Manhattan. Most people work here. Most people commute here a few times a week for some reason or another. As shitty as some parts of Manhattan are (and there are plenty of lame areas), it’s still where things happen. It’s expensive for a reason. Because pretty much EVERYONE wants to live here. Now, I’m sure some of you are reading this a rolling your eyes. I actually know a bunch of people who live in BK and never leave it. I get it though…it’s fun. It’s a real community. There are tons of bars. Great food. Tons of attractive people who are looking to have sex with one another. But a Brooklyn Transplant (who’s definitely never actually lived in Manhattan) hating on manhattan enough to purchase a handbag that voices that sentiment is kinda like when NElly Dissed KRS-one. Sure, Nelly was way more popping at that time but Krs-1 was a Legend so watch your fucking tone when you speak to your elders. Manhattan was once like brooklyn is now. The same way that Queens will be where everyone moves in like ten years once brooklyn is overrun by Duane reade’s and chase banks like Manhattan already has been.
Let it be known, this is not aimed at natives of BK. Not at all. This is 100% about the transplants. People who moved to NYC to live in NYC, but ended up in brooklyn. And not all the transplants…the righteous ones who think that , just cause they’ve lived in Brooklyn for a year or two, they have any right to speak on anything Manhattan related beyond complaining about train service. You’re basing it off some made up shit that you’ve heard from other people. Sure, parts of Manhattan are terrible. I’d rather be in a snow forest in Siberia than midtown Manhattan on a saturday. But, please, shut the fuck up. I mean that in a general sense but .Specifically, to the girl with the “fuck Manhattan” bag. You. Yeah you. Go fuck yourself and your stupid bag. If you hate Manhattan so much, do us both a favor and never come back. It’s for the best. Good luck with that cause you need us way more than we’ll ever need you.

29 thoughts on “The only thing that really offends me

  1. A lot of people like buy shit with a message on them because they want to see like they have something to say. It’s kind of like buying a Hallmark card… you’d rather spend the five bucks on the illusion of a gesture rather than actually putting any thought into it… which they’re not capable of in the first place.

    Just another idiot, I suppose. Hope you enjoyed the show, regardless.

  2. What about a bag that says “Fuck Gentrification.” Is that ok? (I’m from Texas and I know nothing of these matters)

    • That would only work if a native wore it…and they probably wouldn’t…the same kinda dumb asshole who has a “fuck manhattan” bag would wear it without even realizing the irony.

  3. I feel you on this but the situation that pisses me off is a little different. I’m from a suburb of Dallas which still has a pretty good economy and you can pretty much get a mansion for 200k. This brings in shitloads of transplants but the ones who piss me off the most are californians. I get cali is fucking amazing but there’s a reason you or your parents moved here, the economy blows. Yet all i hear from these people is damn this place is boring, wheres the beach and cali is so much better. and on top of that they root against the local sports teams just to be an ass which is another thing that grinds my gears

  4. i agree with everything you said 100%
    here’s my thing tho – did you step to this fucktard? or did you just seethe about it and write this blog in your head?
    you could have at least rolled up to her all sweet like you were hitting on her, “hey girl, where your from baby?”
    “oh hi, im from nebraska”
    “maaaan, FUCK NEBRASKA”
    followed by:

    • Nah, I didn’t say anything. I’m not really confrontational like that and it was loud as fuck. I was about a drink away from tapping her shoulder and being like “REALLYY??!?!?!” but I find approaching females in public in a negatively aggressive way is never a good look.

  5. You know what I hate? People who automatically think they’re better than everyone who moved to a spot just because they grew up there… kidding, but seriously, who cares? Everyone has an opinion, valid or not, doesn’t impact your life at all, not worth the stress!

    I also feel like a lot of people just voice these general opinions on places to simply fit in where they live. Given everyone lives behind a glowing screen for like 75% of their lives these days, actually finding a community/place you fit/feel comfortable is that much harder. lame, i know, but i think that is probably where most of this comes from.

    • I agree with this…but I’m also a native new yorker who holds that fact closer to my heart than anything. It’s literally the only thing that I have any pride in…because NYC is that fucking awesome.
      But really, It’s not the opinion that bothers me, it’s the gall of the person (type of people) who would even be dipshit enough to even own that bag.

      • For sure. The messed up thing is, that bag probably gets this girl love over in BK. Funny how it works. I can just see her sitting in the park reading some pretentious book, waiting for someone to walk by and say ‘sweet bag!’.
        BTW – love the brit flag shoes in this pic, amazing.

  6. We’re starting to get a pretty bad hipster infestation down here in Philly. I don’t really care, because I’m from Jersey – I don’t have to deal with them, but I work in construction in Philly, with a ton of guys from Philly. There’s a neighborhood called Fishtown, which was once predominantly working-class Irish that’s slowly becoming gentrified. For these guys I work with it’s a double-edged sword because a lot of them grew up in this neighborhood, but the contractors they work for are the ones developing the area; converting these old abandoned factories and breweries into 2k+ a month lofts for these…people. They’re definitely destroying the character of the place, not to mention driving up the property taxes and forcing life-long residents to move out. The other day I was driving down Aramingo Ave., a main street through the neighborhood, and they were on this hockey rink playing fucking bike polo. Polo on bicycles. I mean, you gotta be fucking kidding me.

    And get this shit, this fucking killed me. Guy I work with, one of these hipsters moved on his block. He asks the kid how he likes the neighborhood so far. Kid says, I wish Fishtown was more racially diverse. Guy says, what do you mean more racially diverse? Kid says, well, we hoped it would have a more diverse racial makeup. So basically what this kid is saying is that he needs to have a certain amount of brown people around him to alleviate some of his fucking upper-middle class white-liberal guilt. Fishtown has always been Irish. That’s like moving to fucking Chinatown and complaining that there aren’t enough Polish people around.

    Well fuck you in your liberal cracker ass. Faggot.

    I hate liberals like this. They’re the same ones who fucking brag about how they voted for Obama. The ones who go out of their way to be politically correct; it’s the fucking pussification you were talking about. I’m a card-carrying union member, too, I’m as liberal as they come. But PC liberals like this new breed of fucking hipsters are the worst, they make left wingers like me look like pussies. I voted for Obama, too, but at least I have the balls to say he’s a fucking center-right sellout asshole now.

    Goddamn, that turned into a rant. Maybe I need my own blog…

  7. Oh, and you’re lucky them contstruction workers don’t start banging away till 8:30. Work days typically start at 7 AM on sites.

  8. On behalf of all Brooklyn transplants I say “fuck manhattan”. at least we can buy stamps at our bodegas. Kidding. But really though I think this is really minor shit, some girl from Kansas went to an El-P show and to show how “street” she can be and wore her purse with a bad word on it. I am sure its cool to live in Williamsburg and own shirts or bags that say fuck williamsburg. If however if you live in harlem, for example, and wore some shit that said fuck harlem you would definitely get your ass kicked, male or female. But I get there is a certain level of respect to a place that you came to. Kids these days have no respect because they have lost the idea of getting their ass kicked.

  9. i’ve said this many times to my friends. NY has gone from being raw and hardcore to being a hipster capital, that is just sad

    • It’s true. It’s downfall has been painful to watch (especially from within). But luckily, NYC had such a huge advantage over every other city in America, we’re still #1 by a landslide. Hipsters and all.

  10. Shirts or bags saying “fuck (…) are pretty dumb to begin with. Better to rep something you love than pay attention to something you hate right.

  11. Why you gotta bring my Huckleberry Finn jeans into this tirade?

    P.S. Now I kinda wish I’d gone to the show with you.

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