Song of the day 6/29/12


Cobra Commander By Open Mike Eagle Feat. Danny Brown
http://limelinx.com/dmfkv

Open Mike Eagle has a new album out called “4NML HSPTL” and you should go buy it right now.
Mike has been one of the more prolific artists over the last few years dropping albums, ep’s and random tracks all over the place, all while maintaining a very high level of quality. The new album is no different. Good shit all around.
So , peep this song he did with Danny Brown. Also, Keep an eye out for music he and I will be making in the future. The wheels are rolling. I’m psyched. Yeah.

Demo Reviews Vol. 3


Round three!
This is where I take demo’s you guys have sent me and give you my brutal, honest opinion on your music. I gotta admit, I’m surprised how popular this has been. Who knew people actually wanted to hear people’s demos and then read about why they do or do not suck?
Just to clarify a few things:
1)I’m not taking submissions , so don’t send me any music until I ask for it.
2) These are just my opinions. If you’re an artist who I reviewed and you aren’t happy with what I said, don’t take it personally. Also, you were warned so if it really bothers you, you probably shouldn’t have sent me music in the first place.
3)Shout out to all the artists who took last volumes reviews in stride. I know reading other peoples opinions on your art is never easy. welcome to my world.
As for these submissions, is was an interesting week. I’d say, overall, it was the highest quality round I’ve gotten thus far…with the exception of one next level bad song that also happens to be the most “well made” song I’ve ever gotten. Go figure.
Anyway, I grade the songs on these three specific categories.
Originality: Obviously rating how much this differs from other music out there in a positive way. I’ll be shocked if anyone gets above a 5 out of 10 as this is a pretty tough category.
Listenability: Rating how hard/easy it was to sit through. This could go a few ways as I often find humor in music that’s extra bad so, it’s not always a compliment.
Production technique: Rating how well crafted the song was. Was it “professional”. How was it recorded and mixed.
But, beyond that, my real thoughts about them are in the write ups. So, as always, take it all with a grain of salt.

Artist: Shag
Song: Still here

http://limelinx.com/bi4xj

I can’t front, this was pretty dope. As much as I don’t really have a taste for instrumental stuff, this was an undeniable smooth ride. It’s a little longer than it needed to be and I would have done something different with the drum patterns (the sounded almost off beat when they first came in until i realized this was not your typical boom-bap 4/4 time signature).
But, other than that, definitely a breath of fresh air amongst the typical submissions I’ve gotten thus far.

Originality: 6.5 out of 10 (mostly for using an interesting time signature within the scope of instrumental hip hop type shit)
Listenability:7 out of 10
Production technique:7 out of 10

Artist: Cryptid
Song: Rookies

http://limelinx.com/eevr

This could almost be a companion piece for the first song above. Very smooth and well put together. I actually like it more as a basic beat except that nothing really goes on beyond the main part and tiny details. That said, this would be a great beat for a rapper to use. I just don’t know if it stands alone as an instrumental track. It’s not really breaking new ground but whoever made it is definitely good at what they do.

Originality: 5 out of 10
Listenability:7.5 out of 10
Production technique: 6.5 out of 10

Artist: DeLaZoo
Song:Art School

http://limelinx.com/btuqf

This is a cute song, if not painfully white. Sounds like a weird mix of Earl, Eyedea and paul Barman. I think the guy can actually rap pretty well it’s just that voice and subject matter are not my cup of tea. I appreciate the honesty of the lyrics and it’s definitely a subject I’m sure many (WHITE) people can relate to. I feel as if it might be about 8 too late for stuff like this to really have any home though. But, all in all, it’s not bad. Oh, and I’m cool with the beat. It definitely takes a backseat to the rapping (mostly due to the kids voice and the mix) but it serves it’s purpose.

Originality: 4 out of 10
Listenability: 5 out of 10
Production Technique:4 out of 10

Artist JMD Audio
Song: Quackery

http://soundcloud.com/jmd-audio/quackery

This one is all over the place. It meanders from part to part with no fluidity and some parts don’t really match in key with the other parts. From the sound of it, it’s someone who’s playing a bunch of instruments and mixing in some sampling. I dunno…it just seems kinda aimless to me. It’s not terrible or anything. If i were to guess , this is the work of someone who plays in bands trying to test their skills in electronic music. More often than not, when that happens ,the result is a song that has it’s heart in the right place but lacks the refined ear for making that genre of music that comes with years of perfecting it.

Originality: 4 out 0f 10
Listenability: 3.5 out of 10
Production technique: 3.5 out of 10

Artist: Caveman Wise
Song:The void

http://soundcloud.com/cavemanthewise/the-void

This kinda reminds me of an old beat I might have made back in the day. Before i fully understood how to use my equipment but still had an idea of what I was going for musically. I think I get where the artist was going with this one. It’s kind of a mellow wall of sound using the horn sample as it’s foundation. Unfortunately, I don’t smoke weed and music like this just becomes a mish mash of sounds after a while to my sober ear. Aside from the horn, nothing else really pops out at you. the drums are half good and half really cheap sounds…but they definitely show promise.

Originality: 4 out of 10
Listenability: 5 out of 10
Production technique: 3 out of 10

Artist: Strangers
Song: Lounted in the basement

http://strangers312.bandcamp.com/track/lounted-in-the-basement-prod-jota-ese

This seems HUGELY influenced Madlib/stones throw type shit…Like I almost thought it was a Quasimoto Song.
I like the beat a lot. It’s simple (just a few loops and drums) but effective. I could do without the 24 bar horn solo but that’s just me. The rappers are likable. I like the second guy More than the first guy but they both do their thing. I’d say ,even though it’s wearing it influence on it’s sleeve, this is definitely one of the better rap submissions I’ve gotten thus far.

Originality: 4 out of 10
Listenability:8 out of 10
Production technique: 5 out of 10

Artist: Mosart212
Song: Punks of crust

http://soundcloud.com/passive_aggressive/punks-of-crust

This is one of those inoffensive type tracks that, while it’s totally listenable, it just doesn’t do much for me. It’s fine…I like the string sample but the rest of the song doesn’t really go anywhere. The drums are pretty amateur and the overall sound just feels like a computer made it. Not that that is always a bad thing but in this case I mean that the whole things sounds overly synthetic. Still, it’s mellow enough that I could see people sitting in a smokey room , playing this while looking at crystals or something.

Originality: 3 out of 10
Listenability: 4.5 out of 10
Production technique: 3 out of 10

Artist: New Car smell
Song:Champagne Life

http://soundcloud.com/officialnewcarsmell/champagne-life

Holy shit. WOW. How one earth did this get sent to me? you guys have heard my music, right?
Few things rub more the wrong way more than a song that’s entire existence is based in pandering to the lowest common denominator. This song is like if Drake butt fucked LMFAO while the black eyed peas watched. So, yeah, it’s really terrible. On a positive note, it’s VERY well made. The mixing and sequencing is professional for sure. That’s one good thing about terrible pop music…it’s usually very well made.
In defense of these guys, they did write this with their email:

This is our first single from our mixtape, which isn’t as commercial as this song. I know you only want one song, so I sent you this… But if you find that MAYBE you’d want to hear more, I also sent the link to the whole tape.

Word. I think you shoulda sent me a different song ,dudes.

Originality: 1 out of 10
Listenability: 2 out of 10
Production technique: 8 out of 10

Artist: I.L.I.C.I.T w/ Sabtheartist and Beasly
Song: Anybody can rap

http://limelinx.com/o4on

This is solid. The rappers are all decent. I’d say the second dude was my favorite. It’s a pretty typical underground “What’s a matter with rap!?!?!” type song but all the mc’s are engaging enough to not make it hard to sit through. My biggest issue with it is the beat. It’s not terrible at all, it’s just nothing special. Kinda second rate Dr. Dre shit…Other than that, this was pretty good though.

Originality: 4.5 out of 10
Listenability: 6 out of 10
Production technique: 5.5 out of 10

Artist: Evolutionarie
Song: Follow

http://soundcloud.com/evolutionarie/follow-1

Rappity rap rap!
Before i get into the song itself, might I recommend you change your name? It’s none of my business but it’s not 2001 anymore.
as for the song, this is highly flawed and typical “underground” rap. This literally sounds like something that was made a decade ago that wouldn’t have made it onto the walls of fat beats. There are like 7 dudes on this song and maybe two of them should ever rap again. It’s just awkward. I don’t doubt that the dudes in the group who can somewhat rap are painfully aware of those in the group who cannot. Not trying to stir shit up, I’m just saying.
The beat is okay. Kinda like a second rate Jedi Mind tricks kinda thing.

Originality: 3 out of 10
Listenability: 3.5 out of 10
Production technique:4.5 out of 10

Things that are wrong with the world part 26


This article popped up in the news last week
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2161294/Wesley-Warren-Jr-Man-100-pound-scrotum-REJECTS-free-1m-corrective-surgery.html?ICO=most_read_module

It tells the story of a Las Vegas man who suffers from a rare condition that made his scrotum grow to 100 pounds. While stories like this are common (not this exact subject matter but some tale of freakish woe) and always a downer, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. He was offered a free ride on the corrective surgery (that costs a million dollars) but 2 different doctors. 6 months prior, he had been emotional , stating all he wanted to do was pee like a normal person and , maybe, one day have sex.
Well, flash forward to the present and this stupid asshole is turning down the surgery. Why? Cause his huge nutsack is his claim to fame. He’s been on Howard Stern, Tosh.0 and a few TLC shows. He feels that if he were to fix that horrific, lifestyle ruining condition that he would lose his fame. Well, he’s right…I’m pretty sure once the guy with 100 pound nuts gets whittled down to a guy with normal nuts, his 15 minutes is up. It makes sense. Unless he were to keep the removed scrotum part and maybe make clothing out of it or something. He could make a fucking circus tent I’m sure.


This is just another example of the fame obsessed world we live in but with a sadder twist. While reality stars with no talent get rich and famous for being outrageously moronic, guys like this ol’ balls n’ my word ass dude over here can’t differentiate between fame and notoriety. Yes, he’s getting cool opportunities. He gets to go on Howard Stern and he probably gets recognized on the street. Something I’m sure is no different than people just staring at the anonymous man with the voluminous sack walking down the street. But he’s no more famous than a girl who falls down a well or the guy who got his face eaten by that dude on bath salts. He’s famous despite himself. To think he’s chosen to ride this 100 pound ballsack thing out , as opposed to getting the medical attetnion he needs and so desperately wanted only half a year ago, is sickening.
I understand he’s making money of this right now. I bet he’s enjoying the travel. But at what point does it end? Soon, no one is going to care about the fat slob with the yoga ball nuts. How interesting could he really be , beyond “Holy shit! Look at that freaks nutsack!”?
Maybe he wants to ride this out as far as he can and then get the surgery once his fame has waned. But who knows if those offers will still be on the table? After all, as kind a gesture as it is from those doctors, there is definitely an opportunistic air to their testicular philanthropy. Once this guy loses his heat, I’m pretty sure those doctors would stop caring and offering their services free of charge.

Now, understandably, part of his reason for declining the surgery is cause he’s afraid he might lose his penis. The article above says
There’s also a chance, and not a small one, that complications could force the surgeons to cut off his penis and testicles if his scrotum won’t stop bleeding.
That’s pretty scary, but it’s not life threatening. And at this point, his dick is pretty much worthless anyway. It would basically be a trade off for comfort and lifestyle. If complication happened and he lost his dick (something I’d say is every man’s greatest fear) it would basically leave him in the same situation he’s in now, minus the 100 pound anchor. Obviously, I’m not him and it’s different for the person involved but, it seems, like that’s a worthwhile trade off.

I feel bad for this dude. Honestly. I can’t imagine how awful it must be to live like that. I have fat deposits in my arms that look like I have an M&M under my skin and I think about getting it removed all the time. To think, this dude is turning down an operation that would change his life for the better, in exchange for fleeting notoriety is pretty depressing. But , I’m afraid that’s the world we live in. People would rather feel that glimmer of the spotlight , as brief as it may be, than be healthy members of society. So, fuck this dude and his life choices. I hope he enjoys pissing on his balls for the rest of his life.

Answers for questions vol. 91


Howdy everyone. This week I got a mish mash of really weird questions. Questions that I feel were not fully realized. That said, I’m very appreciative of the creativity people are trying to come with. Keep it up…just get your focus right and don’t ask a question just cause I asked you to. That said, Ask me more questions! Send me questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. Let’s start off with a seriously bizarre one…

You are in a room. The walls are lined with glory holes. Jigsaw or maybe The Joker explains to you that there is a girl behind each hole, and putting your dick through guarantees you a beej (no one biting it off or anything). Except behind one of the holes is a blood relative. Like your mom or your sister, who will still give you the beej and you will never know it was her. What is the minimum number of holes where you’d be cool with this? Two is obviously too few, and a billion is probably ok. But realistically, would you be ok with 200 glory holes? 1000? And no bullshit like “well I just wouldn’t put it through any holes.” Dick goes through hole and Jigsaw or The Joker cures cancer and AIDS and herpes. Otherwise, nuclear bombs go off and everybody dies and shit.

Pick a number.

I gotta say, I like where you’re going with this one but there are just too many holes (no pun intended) in the idea. So, I would have to put my dick in one of the holes and get anonymous head to save the earth and there’s a chance that ONE of those holes is a blood relative…but even if it is, I’d never know? And I can choose how many holes are in the room? Jigsaw is getting lazy, yo. So I’d pick like 100000000 million holes.
But you said would you be okay with 200…to save the world? Sure. I’d do that. The thing is, as horrifying as the idea of doing anything sexual with a blood relative is, I’d literally never know. So there really wouldn’t be any repercussions to unless the pulled the wall away to reveal all the women of my family at a glory hole related family picnic event. Assuming that doesn’t happen, this challenge wouldn’t be that hard. The hardest part would be the actual fucking of the hole in the wall.

What are your thoughts on leaving music on while leaving the house. You know you’re getting ready and shit and got the perfect groove going on and then you have to go over to the computer/stereo and shut it off, rather than just let it play out? What’s your move there? Do you worry that if the music keeps playing unsupervised some bad shit will go down, your house will burn or your computer crash, or just peace out and sound good doing it?

A girl is asking this, right? I hope so cause the idea of a dude just having to hear his song while he puts a t shirt on for 11 seconds is too much for my brain to process.
I’m not really a “Put on music while I get dressed” kinda guy. I just put my clothes on quickly and get out. I’m struggling to see the crazy circumstances that leaving music on (which I don’t do regardless) could possibly have that would lead to any bad shit going down. I play most of my music on my laptop. I’m pretty sure those things are built to not burst into flames due to heavy usage.

Have you ever done any psychedelics like LSD or DMT? If so, was it the life-altering experience that a lot of people allege it to be? If you haven’t, what are your views/thoughts on the drugs and, more specifically, the people whose wardrobe’s are 90% tie-dye, only take pictures while chuckin’ up the peace sign, and jump at any chance to tell the tales of their “higher” consciousness experiences like an indian spiritual?

I wrote in depth about this a long while back:
https://phatfriend.com/2010/01/11/drugs/
But I’ve never done LSD or DMT. I always avoided those types of synthetic drugs. I dunno why…they scare me. I’ve done shrooms enough to understand why people on these psychedelic drugs act the way they do and talk about their higher consciousness…but I still think people who do that (the ones talk endlessly about their drugs experiences, not people who simply do drugs) are kinda losers.

so what do you thing of Goran Dragic? Can he be a legit starting point guard in the NBA? I have been a fan of the rockets since the hakeem days and I would really like for him to stay with them.

I think he’s really good. All he’s ever needed was a chance to log serious minutes and he’s proven that he can keep up with the best of them. It’s a funny thing with NBA point guards, I feel like MOST of them, if given a chance, can do decently. That’s how lowry got his job. Look at Jeremy Lin or even ramon sessions.
That’s why it’s so funny to me when a point guard just sucks. Like a dude like darren collison who just can’t seem to figure it out.
So, yeah, I think dragic is gonna be a starter next year. It may not be for the Rockets, but it’ll be somewhere.

My cousin is kinda of a douche and I forgot to mow his grass while he was gone out of town and now he is treating me like a peice of shit hired worker whom he has no respect for. What is up with people taking so much pride in grass?
and do you think this just a old white dude problem?

Man…it’s like the week of questions I can’t relate to. I don’t know shit about lawns or lawn pride. I get how people want the front of their houses to not look like a war hit it but I’d imagine some people get a little OCD about the upkeep. I’m pretty sure, if I were to ever have a lawn, it would be covered in dog shit and trash. None of which would have been put there by me…I’m just saying, I’d probably not really give a shit about my lawn.

Let’s say you are in a position to be “executive director” of a 6-track EP. It can be any of your favorite artists, BUT each track has to be a pairing that hasn’t been done before commercially (freestyles don’t count). It’s harder than it sounds because there’s so much collaboration. Who have you got?

Shit…Lemme see.
1)Breezely bruin and Despot
2)Tim Dog and lauryn hill
3)Suga Free and willie D
4)Mystikal , Twista and Mikah 9 (it would be risky but if it worked, the payoff would be tremedous)
5)Earl , Jay Electronica and Godfather Don
6)Danny Brown and Young Zee

I have a question for you. What do you think of this: When I was in high school I started to shower everytime right after I would take a shit, for hygienic reasons obviously. Nothing wrong with it, it actually has great advantages, first your underpants never ever ever get dirty at the back, which would happen sometimes before if I wouldn’t wipe my ass good enough (sometimes it is quite a hard job to do it really clean, won’t you agree?). Next, you feel so fresh and clean (word to OutKast, lol) all the time and it never gets itchy down there. so, until now only good things came out of this, but here are some negatives also: first, you become addicted to it, like, I can’t take a quick shit while doing something and just go straight back, I ALWAYS have to shower my ass, which obviously takes a little more time and I eat a lot plus I have fast metabolism, which means I shit at least two times per day. I also must shit before I play ball or lift weights, becouse performance wise it is worse if I’m full of shit as opposed to being totally empty. After the time factor there is another thing. I avoid using public toilets. Of course nobody wants to take a dump at a smelly and not so clean public/school/college/gym/whereever the fuck you are toilet with piss all over it, but if you gotta go, you gotta go. not me though, I always hold my shit in, until i get home, where I can shower right after. If I have to fart all day because of it, so be it, this is collateral damage, I can do nothing about it. Some time ago me and my boyz were at the music festival for a couple of days and we were sleeping in a tent. the camp had chemical toilets and no one really used theme, becouse of all of the drunken people who fucked them up completely, so we just went to mcdonalds or some bar everytime. Becouse I had no shower at my disposal i always took some of the toilet paper and poured water over it and wiped my ass with it. it served well, but i had to do it in the room with the sing and anyone could be walking in on me any minute. This little story was told just to illustrate the level of my addiction to having a clean ass. Sorry to be so long, so to finish this off- am I fucking crazy? I see nothing wrong with having the place, where fecies come out, clean most of the time, but i can agree, that i sometimes go out of my way to do it. Should i teach my future children to do it? U usually pass knowledge of this kind of experience learned in life to your heirs but i really don’t want to pass down something that is wrong or just really weird and shit. Thank you for your answer! And to all the readers, how many of you do it also? Most of the people I talk to just don’t do it, but none of theme says im weird.

Jesus dude.
Like you said, there are pro’s and cons. The pro’s being , hygienically, it’s a good look. The cons being EVERYTHING ELSE. I don’t think this is a particularly harmful habit…it’s just extremely limiting for something that you’re not always going to have control over. I hate shitting in public restroom as much as the next guy but to absolutely need to shower after ever dump is pretty crazy. It’s OCD behavior. DO NOT teach your kids that’s how it’s done. Teach them hygiene. Teach them how to properly wipe their asses…but throwing your psychosis at them can only have negative effects on them down the line.
To be clear, i don’t think this is a huge deal. It’s odd but it’s really your own issue. It doesn’t hurt anyone else. It’s just crazy, to me, to limit yourself concerning something that is a constant, necessary thing. Shitting happens…sometimes when you’d rather it didn’t. Ideally, we’d all like to be in our bathroom, taking luxurious dumps in the most comfortable and leisurely way possible. But it simply doesn’t work like that sometimes.
But , aside from salvaging underwear, what are you scared of? IS your asshole being inspected regularly? Is your partner an obsessive butt eater? I get that we want to be clean but people have been shitting and wiping their asses since we were smearing that shit on cave walls. If the cleanliness is an issue, just wipe with baby wipes. You can even bring packs around with you. I hear those are great for people with OCD ass cleanliness issues. All I’m saying is, it sounds like shitting is running your life. Don’t let it do that. You run shit, not the other way around.

is (was) the NBA lottery rigged? I believe it is, Cle won last year after Lebron went to Miami Cheat and NO won it this year after losing CP3 and after struggling to sell the team and it was basically still NBA-owned. Sounds like a conflict of interest (like the vetoed trade in December, but don’t get me started on that embarrasment) and like the #1 pick was a part of the deal to sell the team. Plus they don’t show the drawing, they just tell you who won, that’s some bullshit. I hope Stern gets hit by a car.
Peace

I’m not a conspiracy theorist. I just watch the game. Is it possible? Sure. But, when it comes down to it, I don’t really give a shit.
I do agree that stern is a dickface though.

Song of the day 6/22/12


Help the Poor By B.B. King
http://limelinx.com/files/b34f3fcae466fe55b7fdb3d9647a513f

It’s been a while since I posted a nice , depressing type soul/blues song on here. To be honest, i’ve been somewhat lazy in my seeking out good old soul lately so it’s been mostly a rap kinda year for me. If anyone has a good blog to recommend where they post stuff like this (or rare soul from the 60’s and 70’s) up regularly, lemme know. I need some good shit to sink my teeth into.
Anyway, B.B. King is a legend. You know that. Nothing much else to add to that.

Peep this remix I did: Billy Woods “DMCA”


As you may or may not know, I’m working on a album with Billy Woods. If you’ve read this blog with any regularity over the past few months, you know that I’m a huge fan of Woods and I’m extremely excited to get to work with the guy. He recently asked me to do a remix of one of the songs of his amazing album “History Will Absolve me” and I jumped on the opportunity. The song I chose ,”DMCA” ,is one I feel that most artists making music now can relate to. Basically, we’re fucked and it’s not getting better anytime soon. Yup. Awesome.
Anyway, check it out and download that shit.
http://www.divshare.com/download/18460718-d73

This is the first taste of much more to come in the future…

Ask Dr. Tony Vol 16


What’s up? The doctor is back with that advice that will one day save your life. Well, not really but perhaps I can at least give you some perspective on your shitty love life. As always, I’m not a licensed anything but I do have an uncanny ability to give you the honest truth (as I see it) in respect to your romantic debacles. If you have more relationship questions, email me them at phatfriendblog@gmail.com Send them whenever as I’m always taking submissions.
Anyway, on with this weeks bag of issues.

ok, here’s what i’m dealing with….i was in a relationship with this girl from a little before new years until the end of march. we were started off as friends of friends until she sent me an email that said she wanted to hang out exclusively. at first i was on the fence, bc i wasn’t entirely attracted to her, but ended up hangin out with her anyway. she’s a cool chick! great taste in music, outgoing personality, really sweet….well, we ended up smoochin and cuddlin after a month or 2 and started dating. she became really attached, said how much she was falling for me, and was always very affectionate. i’m a little wary about falling for people so quick, so i wasn’t as into it as she was….but as time went on i felt myself drawing closer. SO here we are, luvvy dubby and shit for a few months, things are going swimmingly…i like her a lot at this point (really close to loving her)….until one day she decides she isn’t happy with me. it seemed completely spontanious! she literally uttered those words “i love you” for the first time just a couple nights before introducing this epiphany to me! needless to say, she broke up with me a few days later and i was left heartbroken. we didn’t see or speak to each other for about a month. we hung out together w/ some mutual friends one day, and that was ok. we didn’t interact so much, but i was fine with it. i think about her a lot tho, and i told her (my intention wasn’t to get her back). and she gave me the usual “chinup!” rundown.
so here’s where the situation gets a little sticky….we have a mutual friend that was moving to michigan, and i’m pretty tight with this dude. he hung out at my place a few days before he left. well, apparantly, my ex moved WITH him! i found out a few weeks after the fact from somebody else. i was shocked, confused, hurt, upset, and most of all just down right pissed off. i kind of went off on her and said some things i probably shouldn’t have said (quote: called her a heartless bitch) and it’s just been boggling my mind.
so here’s the question…..do i have the right to be mad??? i kind of feel like an asshole. from an outside perspective, they’re doing no wrong. they’re both really happy in a new place, and that’s a good thing. all’s fair in love in war, right? but people still get hurt. i’m hurting pretty bad. i was thinking about calling him mono-a-mono to just talk about the situation. i’m very pro Bro’s over ho’s, but that’s kind of a dick thing to do to your homie, aint it? and also i should be happy for my ex because she’s happy, right? BUT she did kind of fuck me over….twice….2nd time feeling a little worse than the 1st…. i don’t know dr. Tony, how would you feel??

Dude, you have the right to feel however you wanna feel. If you want to never talk to either of those people again, you’re justified. If you want to be the bigger man and just move on without making any drastic declarations about how this all hurt you, then you can do that too.It really depends if you’re a grudge holder type. But regardless of that, you 100% have the right to feel like you got shit on here. There’s obviously more to this story than you know and I’m guessing, if you found out, that stirring of rejection and anger will probably explode into full on rage. Something isn’t sitting right with me about this and all I did was read two paragraphs.

If this girl was THAT serious about you, something pretty intense must have happened for her to just drop everything and bounce with that other dude. I don’t wanna say that kind of thing is unheard of but it’s certainly rare. That is, of course, unless there’s more of a history between the two than you are aware of. Whatever it is, it’s gonna suck when you hear the truth about. But beyond that, you might of dodged a bullet cause any girl willing to drop everything and move all of a sudden is lacking in some serious logic and definitely is only thinking about herself.

I’m all for being the bigger man in this situation but no rationalizing of “bro’s before hoe’s” is gonna make you feel okay about this. You got played. The only way you should feel is shitty.

I’m in my late twenties, been in a relationship for over four years and it’s something I definitely could see turning into marriage. I’ve never been a socially awkward guy and never had an issue talking to girls, I also know I’m a good looking guy at least at this point in life before time and alcohol catch up to me. The Girl I’m with is cool, hot, and shares a lot of similar interests with me as well being able to hang out with the guys and not be annoying, not to mention being able to put up with me being a moody bastard.

Long story short, before my current relationship I had dated a girl for quite awhile, was a complete mess of a relationship that drug on too long (Last yr of high school-First couple years of college) and about half way through college I broke it off. I had a good year and a half as a single guy before hooking up with current girl and never thought much of it. Even when I was single I would hook up with girls but for whatever reason I never really went too far with any of them (except for one 1 night stand) even though I easily could have. Basically once I figured out I could hook up with the random girl I lost interest and most of it didn’t go much further than making out, etc.

After doing this for a awhile I started dating current girl and for years as far as I was concerned I had a pretty awesome relationship and never considered the fact that I should be out slaying hoodrats or else I would be filled with anguish and regret in my later years. Most of my friends (maybe cause I live in a major city?) are similar to what you’ve described, they’ve hooked up with a ton of girls (though my friends have zero standards and have banged tons of more than questionable broads that I’d never even think of hooking up with if I was single)

So considering this long ass, novel like story, is there something wrong with me and am I gonna horribly regret this decision later in life? Should I get out of the relationship now and hook up with as many girls as possible or something? I definitely see the appeal of the other side, but I’d hate to throw away something great for just random hook ups. At the same time I don’t wanna be one of those guys who ends up cheating on his wife/girlfriend constantly because he feels like he missed out on something when he was younger.

It’s clear you’re a relationship guy. You’re not the same breed as a typical guy who just wants to get his dick wet. Because of this, I don’t see any reason to break up with a girl just to sew your wild oats. Your oats ain’t that wild, bro. Sure, there will be times when you’re married and bored and all you can think about is that girl you should have fucked but the reality of it is that you’re not that type of guy. And, in my experience, guys like that don’t do well under those “single guy” circumstances. They fuck a few randoms, are never really comfortable with it and end up settling down with someone fairly quickly.
Put it this way…You know those types of girls who ALWAYS have a boyfriend? Like they break up and then talk about how excited they are to be single but, within a month, they’re “In love” again? You’re the guy version of that. There’s nothing wrong with it but you can’t turn that into an international playboy. Honestly, you should be relieved. Most dudes I know in relationships , regardless of how many girls they bedded prior to that relationship, are in a constant state of regret about what could have happened and what would be happening if they were single. To not have that as a prominent thing in your life, I’d say you’re one of the lucky ones.

I am sending this super late b/c I LITERALLY cannot sleep…I’m shook.

(I’m gonna try & make this as short as possible)

Ok, so I’m in a committed monogamous (to my knowledge anyway) w/ the most amazing man. Nigga is perfect and I am totally in love w/ him.
Anyway, I just recently met his friends. Well, turns out I used to fuck one of his best friends…often. This was roughly 4 years ago.
His friend was visibly like “wtf this bitch” when he saw me, but he didn’t say anything to me or my SO about our fling or w/e you wanna call it.
I did not know they were friends & honestly, if I had known they were friends…I would’ve never gotten involved with my SO b/c being known as a homie hopper is not the move you know?
I’m one of those honesty is the best policy type of chicks BUT I know how men’s egos/pride are & all my guy friends are like “don’t say shit” or “he gon dump you yo, I would dump you” or if he asks you, “deny deny deny!”
Obviously, my question is should I tell my SO or carry the secret to my grave?
And how should the conversation go? Should I have a convo w/ his friend first or should they both be present?
If you were in this situation, would you want to know/would you forgive your girlfriend?
Your advice is greatly appreciated!! ❤

This is tricky cause there are a lot of variables. Is the current man the jealous type? Some dudes are either totally rattled by shit like this or it doesn’t phase them. If he seems like the type who would be horrified by hearing this, I suppose you can’t really tell him. However, if he’s not a bitch made , insecure kinda dude, than it might be for the better cause , if you guys stay together, he might find out on his own eventually.
I’d say you should contact the friend and fuck him more…just kidding. But I do think you should contact the friend and ask him what he thinks. See if he’s comfortable with it. If not, than you know it’s a secret that will keep and it’s safe to lock it away. If he’s okay with you telling him, then you should do it. It’s best to just air that kinda thing out sometimes.

Just a word of advice, if you do tell him, be mindful of how you do it. Don’t make a huge deal about it. The more of a “I have to tell you something serious” moment you make it, the harsher is gonna seem. I’m not saying just mention it in passing but downplaying it is the route to go. If he wants details, be vague. He doesn’t need to know you fucked the dude 59 times. Just assure him that it was a long time ago and he’s all that matters now.
You’re right about male insecurity and beyond telling him about how his friends dick is bigger, something like this will inevitably tap into his ego…you just gotta hope he’s the type of dude who can handle it. But, considering this all happened before you knew him, if he gets really upset, fuck that dude. If he cares about you, he will just accept it, deal with it and move on.
No guy should be naive enough to think there were no dicks before him and no guy should get mad at those dicks as long as they remain in the past. If he cares more about his pride because someone he knows also had sex with you than he does your relationship, it’s a pretty shitty relationship.

So I crossed the forbidden “friend zone” line. I’ve been friends with this girl for 7 years. We did everything together, all the time. We slept in the same bed many times, but never cuddled or anything like that, mostly just tickling and play fighting. I always wanted to kiss her, but never thought I would and I was completely fine with being her best friend.

Last winter when she came home for the holidays is when things changed. One night we went to a club, where my car was broken into and her laptop was stolen. All her pictures and 400 gigs of music was lost (I told her all the time to back that shit up). She was vulnerable and I was there to comfort her. We ended up going back to my house, split a bottle of wine and just cuddled all night. We both knew things changed between us, but I still didn’t really think anything would happen between us.

Then last week, we were hanging out and when she left we flirtatiously alluded to us being together through texting. I kind of took this as my “in” to make a move. Two days later I was at her house. When I had to leave, I called her outside to say bye. I walked up to her and put my hands on her face, but she pulled away because her front door was open and her dad was watching t.v. close by so we went out more. She was saying this is too quick and she wants to go slow. I said we can start slow with a kiss, so she pulled her hair back and lifted her chin and I kissed her. I left right after, she then texted me she was COMPLETELY SHOCKED and had no idea what just happened. She was flustered and said no one has ever surprised her like that.

Later that same night at about 10 she asked me if I wanted to get a beer with her. So, we met at a hookah bar and smoked and drank. We acted as if nothing happened earlier that day, we were laughing and joking just as much as ever. We left and went to Taco Bell to eat and hang out in her car. At about 3am I decided to get out and “leave”. I went to her door and opened it. She knew what was coming and was hesitant. She was nervous, so I pulled her out and we kissed again. We ended up making out in the back seat of her car till 6am. We both thought this is crazy and the one thing you’re not supposed to do with your best friend. She’s nervous and scared about this whole situation, and I have no idea how to handle it because I’ve never even seen others in this predicament. Both of us haven’t been in serious relationships in about 4 years.

This is completely new territory for me and my plan is to just go as slow as she wants and not force anything. Or should I? Should I wait for her to figure out what she really wants?

50 shades of grey ass dude…Those make out descriptions were HAWT!
Anyway,
This is a tough one cause I don’t get a 100% feeling that she’s signed on for the ride. Granted, I’m just going off what you wrote but her hesitance makes me think she’s mulling it over. This could honestly go either way. I get it though. As close friends , turning a friendship into a relationship is tricky. It could all backfire and you’d both be out of a friend…but, on the same note, it’s kinda impossible to truly be friends with someone who you desire more than just a friendship from. I mean, you can do it, but there will always be that cloud of rejection and inequality in the relationship.

Because I feel like she’s undecided, you should definitely take it slow. As slow as she wants you to take it. I’m guessing she needs to get her bearings and figure out where she stands in all of this. The shock of you actually viewing her like that and not just your pal probably confused her a bit.

All in all, be patient but also don’t get your hopes up. The friendzone transition is never easy and rarely works out how people envision it to. Also avoid Taco Bell if you’re gonna be hooking up all night.

The making of “Music By Cavelight” Part 1


I’ve gotten tons of requests to do a write up about how this album came to be, so I figured I’d take a stab at it. In case you don’t know, “Music by Cavelight” was my debut solo album on Ninja Tune. It dropped in 2004. A lot of these are fading memories but I’ll try to wrangle as many little tidbits as I can. My apologies if this is a bit scattered but, you know, this brain ain’t what it used to be. A lot of these stories I’ve told endlessly over the years in interviews but , judging from how often I get asked about this album, I’ll just assume you guys don’t really listen/read interviews. I don’t blame you. Those things are fucking boring. Anyway…let’s take it from the beginning.

How it came to be
Around 2000, Mush records approached me about doing a “Break beat album”. At the time, I had no idea what the fuck they were asking for. To me, a breakbeat was a drum track. It was explained to me that they just wanted ten or so short beats that mc’s could freestyle too or DJ’s could cut over. So, I took ten beats that really had no home (Due to how weird they were or the speed) and threw together that “Album”. It was called “Blockhead’s broke beats” and this is an example:

Around that same time, I made an my first real instrumental track for Aesop’s “Daylight” Ep called “Forest Crunk”.

I don’t quite remember why I made that track for him but I think he just wanted an instrumental on there to switch things up a bit. At that time, I was very unfamiliar with instrumental hip hop. Aside from listening to DJ Shadow’s “Entroducing” album in passing a few times (which I liked but never got into that deeply cause I’ve always been more of a fan of music with vocals) my idea of instrumental hip hop was basically “Make a beat with changes”. As opposed to “A loop with drums = a beat”. So, with that in mind, I made “Forest Crunk”. Shortly after that, Mush records approached me about possibly putting together a full length album. I was pretty excited about it and got to work immediately. The thing was, I had no idea what i was doing. I was sitting on hundreds of beats at that point and I had to figure out how to turn those regular rap beats into songs that could stand alone. The first thing I did was pick out all the random tracks that I liked but had never really fit into anything else. Meaning the tracks that no rappers wanted or ones that simply weren’t right for rapping on. I collected those tracks and started making songs out of them. The thing is, because of my limited experience with that genre of music, I was kinda just winging it. I was making an album of what I envisioned instrumental hip hop sounded like based on my preconceived notions of what I imagined it would sound like. That’s why it’s always funny to me when people would compare me or assume I was greatly influenced by DJ Shadow. It was understandable (as he changed the genre) but I can honestly say he had zero influence on that album. I simply wasn’t that familiar with his solo music (I was well familiar with his work with mc’s though). Outside of “Organ Donor” , I don’t think I had really bumped his songs at all.
Anyway, I finished the album around 2002. As soon as it was mixed, I hollered at Mush records about putting it out. I heard nothing back. Now, keep in mind, they hadn’t even heard the record yet. They weren’t getting back to me on any level. Months went by and this continued and I was just sorta sitting on this done album. My manager decided it had been long enough and he started shopping the album around. He sent it to all the popular instrumental trip hoppish labels of that time. The people who responded were Warp records and Ninja Tune. Actually, what really happened was that Warp liked it but didn’t feel it fit with them (or their subsidiary label Lex) so they passed it along to Ninja Tune. From what I’ve been told, they just kinda played it around the office for a month or so until they decided “fuck it, let’s put this out”. And that’s how it happened…I got signed in the old fashioned way. By sending in a demo. Nowadays it’s unheard of but back then those things actually worked at times. We dropped the “Insomniac Olympics” EP and the rest is history.

Just some background info on the album…It was recorded and mixed at my boy Baby Dayliners house. He also mixed the PFAC album, “The music scene” album and my newest album “Interludes after midnight”. I’m not clear on how long it took to make it but I’d be lying if I said the tracking wasn’t the longest process. I’ve always worked in a fairly archaic fashion and because the midi on my sampler wasn’t working we had to record every track , one at a time, and then line it up. You have no idea what tedious is until you’ve done this.
My boy Damien Paris played all the guitars/bass, Omega one did all the scratches and Bbby Dayliner played Violin on “Breath and start”.
Now on to the tidbits…Song by song.

Hello Popartz:

This was the intended intro song. It ended up getting cut off the European version of the album cause Ninja felt it didn’t mesh with the mood of the album. I see where they were coming from but, at the same time, it was a fun way to introduce myself. Two things people always mention about this song are the charlie brown samples and the polish beat boxing at the end. The Charlie brown thing was sort of a gimmie as it was a great way to portray the name “blockhead” in a funny way. The beatboxing thing was a late addition. At the time, a friend of mine was hanging out with this polish girl and she left this polish hip hop cd at my house. I never listened to it cause, well, I don’t speak polish but, for some reason, while making this album and mining anything I could find for sounds, I popped it in. Perhaps I was looking for open drums sounds. Anyway, the beat boxing and chant part popped out and ended up fitting perfectly to this beat. As a bonus, I later learned that “Popartz” means something like “Let’s go!” in polish. Even more fitting.

You’ve got Maelstrom:

This was the most “rappy” beat to me on the album. I honestly don’t know why a rapper never took it. The samples in the beginning were from comic books on record. Omega scratched them up nicely and really set the tone for the entire album. Not much more to say about this one except I always enjoyed the “Then I change my style” part at the end where it becomes a subtle ode to Freak Nasty’s “Da dip”.

Carnivores unite:

The original titling on the floppy disks that i saved this beat on said “Moby off the Chain”. I don’t know why, but I felt this one sounded like some Moby shit after I made it. Looking back, i was way off as this song didn’t even have one vocal sample of slaves singing. But, with this in mind at the time, I decided to call it “Carnivores unite” cause I knew Moby was a vegetarian…and I thought , well, fuck that guy. I honestly had no reason to dislike the guy aside from not liking his music but it seemed undercover enough that I could just have it as my own private joke.
Probably the most talked about part of this song is the very end. The Kool Keith sample. For more info on that , read this: https://phatfriend.com/2010/02/28/kool-kieth-is-awesomecrazy/

Sunday Seance:

This was always one of my favorite tracks off this album. If you ever feel like there are sort of mournful tones to the album it’s probably because of this song , “a better place”and the triptych series. To be honest, Some of these beats had originally been made as far back as 97. While they may not have meant to be at the time of creation, when it came time to make songs out of them I definitely was thinking about my father who had passed away in 97. He died on a sunday and this song just seemed like a perfect homage to him. The vocal sample singing “can you here me call you name” didn’t have much meaning to me when I initially made it but when put in context of the song, it made a lot of sense.

A Better place:

Like “Sunday seance” , this song was definitely part of me dealing with my dads death via making music. In fact, the opening vocal sample is a recording of my father playing around with my older brother when he was a baby.
On a more technical note, this beat initially came about in a strange way. I had made a beat already (parts of that beat later became “Tugboat complex pt. 3” off of Aesop’s “Labor Days” album) and was about to turn off my sampler. I had a flute sample that I had used and I accidentally pressed the lower keys on my keyboard. The tone just struck me as kinda hypnotic so I started playing with lower keys and came up with the opening music for the track. At that time, I never really did beats this slow. Because of that, I had a feeling no rapper would use it so I took liberty with the drums. There had been the Bjork song I loved which was the LFO remix of “Possibly maybe”.

The drums always stuck out to me and I wanted to have that mood. Suffice to say, I failed miserably but that was a direct influence on this song.
Also, The guitar solo was played by Damien , who came over delirious from the flu. Since where were on some super lo-fi shit , we miked the speaker he was using and for some reason had to put him under blankets in order to keep other sound out. I have no clue why that was but it was necessary at the time. Anyway, he busted that solo out in one nyquil induced take, emerging from the blankets drenched in sweat. When we played it back to him another day, he had no recollection of any of it.

Well, that’s all for now…I’ll get to the other songs next week as , if I don’t split this up, it’ll be way to long. Hope you enjoyed these completely aimless ramblings.

Trending topics vol. 89


This week, Alaska and I discuss sports only a Klansman could love, Demi Lovato’s stupid hair and Mike Tyson on Broadway. Still waiting on that 4th horseman so we can call this world a wrap.
Also, not gonna lie, I dunno how old Lovato is. I hope she’s over 18 cause she’s the only girl in the trending topics so she get’s the header pic. My apologies if she’s 12 years old.
http://www.syffal.com/madonna-webb-simpson