Answers for questions vol. 94


Whattup everyone. I had an interesting week. I played Camp Bisco…which was insane. I’ll be reporting on that a little later. But, yeah, still alive.
Anyway, if you have questions for your old friend (me) send them my way: Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. I’m also accepting “ask Dr. Tony” questions for those of you who need advice for your fucked up love lives. So, send those too…
Okay? Okay.

You’re going on a two week vacation, anywhere in the world that you’d like to go…but, at all times, you have to be within three feet of either
A. Scott Norwood (kicker from the 80’s/90’s Buffalo Bills)
B. Madonna
C. Soulja Boy
Who do you choose and why.

Hmm…Well, i wouldn’t choose Madonna. That’s obvious. I’d end up killing her and having to deal with some sort of “Weekend at Bernie’s” situation for two weeks.

I don’t know much about Scott Norwood except he missed some big kick once. I don’t think i’d wanna chill with him for two weeks cause listening to depressing over the hill athletes tell stories is fucking boring , even more so if you’re not a football fan (and I’m not a football fan).
so, by default, I guess I’m hanging with Soulja boy. I’d imagine he’s the one who would have the most fun. Sure, I’d end up being uncomfortably close to him having gross sex with questionably aged female fans but i’d rather that than have to smell madonna’s bengay covered body for two weeks or have to bro out with Scott Norwood. At least he’d party a little.

refering to the the whole hot / cute topic. what are your most important attributes to consider a girl hot or at least fuckable: ass, breast, legs, face, any other part of the body. (ranking and explanation would be nice)

I don’t think there is a set answer for this. To be honest, one REALLY good attribute can go a long way as long as the others aren’t a total disaster. The way I see it, a hot face makes you wanna make out with the girl. A great ass makes you wanna have sex with her. Great/big boobs do something to mens brains where we just want to be smothered in them. Leg’s are in the same category as ass. I will say that, and maybe it’s just me, but I’ll get fucked up by a nice stomach. Like if a I see a girl wearing a bare midriff and notice a nice stomach, that hits me just as hard as seeing a nice ass. It literally hurts me feelings.
But, like I said, I don’t think I could rank them cause, depending on the girl, it’s different. I can’t 100% say I’m a breast man, ass man ect…cause I like them all a lot. I’m equal opportunity when it comes to my ogling.

In response to the backlash for the new Lupe song is there any song that’s untouchable? Both from a remix stand point or from sampling? Both in hip-hop and beyond.

I don’t think untouchable is the right way to look at it. I think it’s more a matter of taste and respect. I think what Lupe did was lame. But I also think he had 100% right to do it.
Basically, I think producers who sample, like myself, should have enough sense to just avoid certain songs out of respect or cause we recognize sampling certain things is just corny.
Like, sure, we could all sample some song that was a huge hit and , in turn , make “our own” hit out of that. That’s how Puffy got famous. But, if you have even a sliver of integrity, you just don’t do that. That said, a lot of these dudes make music on a larger scale could care less and just want that money. So, whatever…they can do them.
I think every person who makes this kind of music has their own code of ethics. Mine would be very different from someone like Jermaine Dupri or even someone like Pharrel. But, regardless of those codes, I don’t think anything is truly off limits.

As a musician what’s your opinion on Deadmau5 comments?
http://www.complex.com/music/2012/06/deadmau5-on-paris-hiltons-dj-ing-and-the-edm-movement

Well, overall, I truly don’t give a shit. Celebrity dj’s have and will always exist (and suck). But, like so many other things, they only exist cause we allow them to. If assholes keep showing up to places they play, then they will keep getting gigs ect…
As for this particular case, I see Deadmous’ point. I find it hard to even believe that Paris Hilton even enjoys music , let alone , likes it enough to be able to pick songs to play for people.
It’s funny cause I can’t DJ for shit. I’m worthless in that area. But, cause I make the kind of music I do, I’ve gotten a lot of dj gigs over the years. I’m no better than a lot of those celebrity dj’s in that sense (except when I do DJ, I play good music and I make about 10k less than they do for the gig).

So, I was quoting Workaholics “Bitch betta have my honey” because I’m making this bear coat..Then it got me thinking about being a kid and stuffed animals, blankies and such comfort type security ‘sleep-mates’! Did you have a security sleep-mate as a kid? If so, what was it and how many (if you had more than one)? Do you still have it/them? When did you grow out of that phase? Another human doesn’t count, nor does an actual live animal. I know it’s not going to be from the feline department (:

I had a ton of stuffed animals when I was a little kid. In particular, I had these two stuffed bean bag filled rabbits that were my favorite. Those were the only stuffed animals I’d ever sleep with like that. I would take theme everywhere with me. One day, I went to a park near my house (I was about 3 or 4 ) and I guess I left the alone for a second cause someone stole them. Yep…that”s right…someone in a children’s park robbed a child of his stuffed animals. To this day, the concept of that baffles me. Suffice to say, I was devastated. After that, I stopped sleeping with any stuffed animals/inanimate sleep objects. I dunno if that was to blame or if my other stuffed animals were just not comfortable.
I also had this one pillow that I used for like 20 years. It was like a sand bag but I always slept on it. When pillow fights would break out, as a child, I would decimate the competition cause this pillow was pretty much a deadly weapon. It would be as if i was hitting people with a bag of wet cement. I only recently retired it when my girl moved in and I realized that that pillow was incredibly uncomfortable to sleep on.

ur stuck in a cell that is playing a sex tape of yr parents on loop. the only way to make it stop (and escape) is to a) eat a cupful of cockroaches, b) stick yr hand in a pile of cow poop, c) let a mad poisonous cobra sit on yr chest for five minutes.

I think the obvious answer is B. I mean, cow poop is where they find shrooms and it’s not like people don’t stick their hands in it all the time. not to mention, I could wash that hand off.
I’d never be able to get that roach taste out of my mouth and there’s no way I’m letting a deadly cobra anywhere near me. Cow shit, all day, every day.

I have a very diverse taste in music, but just over the past year got into the underground hip hop and really started liking your beats, which I’m trying to learn. But I’ve always been a writer, so recently my friend and I have been writing lyrics (wouldn’t call them songs yet) and playing with beats. My question to you is, is it fake or cheating to use a rhyme dictionary to come up with better wordplay, rhymes, etc.? I definitely don’t use it every verse, but when my mind goes blank it helps. I’ve used rhymezone online and sometimes I feel like its kinda cheating, but a lot of the time it tends to make the lyrics better. What’s your opinion? I know you’re not a lyricist, but you know what hip hop/rap is all about.

Ah..kids today. Googling rhyme patterns.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with using a rhyming dictionary as long as you stick with the words that you know the meaning of. Also, don’t do that think where you just rattle of a bunch of words that rhyme that have no point of connection. When I used to rhyme, I had a rhyming dictionary. I would use it occasionally but , most of the time, I feel like it held me back. Partially cause it allowed something other than my brain to lead the words and also cause rhyming dictionaries definition of “rhyme” is pretty loose. Like they’ll say something like “Accommodation” rhymes with “Circulation” and, while it technically does, if you were to rhyme those two thing sin a song, there’s a good chance you’d sound like an asshole.
So, I’d say, use it sparingly and use proper judgement.

Krispy Kreme: He’s the baddest amirite? I mean, nobody but complete fucktards thought he was serious…but he pulled that shit off and stayed in character long enough to make it awesome in my opinion. What are your thoughts on dudes parodying the genre of hip-hop, whether they are good or bad, how do you feel about it?


Well, I’ve done it so i have some stake in this conversation.
The thing about hip hop parody is that it’s the easiest form of musical parody around…cause ANYONE can rap. The problem with this is that 95% of the people who do it, don’t know the first thing about rap so it just comes off patronizing. To me, the best type of hip hop parody is made by people who actually listen to and respect that genre of music. They tend to nail those little nuances in the music that separates them from your average dickhead on youtube.
In the case of Krispy Kreme, it’s pretty funny. I’m not mad at it. Granted, his relevance is about to run out cause his whole joke is pretty one note and has been done countless times before. I think his saving grace is how he did his videos and that he’s obviously pretty self aware. I mean, the dude has a wet booger in his nose for half the video.That’s gangster.

9 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 94

  1. I’d never heard of Camp Bisco so I googled it and the first headline that came up said:

    “Skrillex, Bassnectar and Disco Biscuits Bond at Camp Bisco”

    That sounds fucking horrible, and I don’t even know what most of those words mean.

  2. Blockhead Radio
    To start things off, we’ll play a song that exemplifies the musical style of Blockhead which features electronica roots, beats made for dancing, straight drum beats, a rhythmic intro and use of modal harmonies.

    ^That’s pandoras description of Which One of You Jerks Drank My Arnold Palmer

    I mention this because I’ve always been curious to how that name came about. Please tell me it was just because an unknown jerk drank your arnold palmer, my pothead friend insists its a clever expose of something.

  3. Can i sleep on your couch for one night? Wanted to make it out to NY to see your boys Mike Eagle and Billy Woods live at the Cameo Lounge next week, My guess is hotels are gonna rape me out there. You can say no. I won’t hate you. But if you know of any cheap and grimey hotels, like the one from the movie “Big”, that may help too. . .

    • That’s a big no. Not only do I not know you but I live with my girl and it would be a hard one to explain to her. Hotels will definitely not be cheap…but I think that’s what you’re gonna have to do.

      • Lol. Thought i’d ask. Please don’t take me serious for a second on that one. Got it narrowed down to just under $500 for 2 night stay and round trip travel. Bus tickets were sold out to Philly, and i really can’t justify spending that much money to see a hip-hop show in Iowa (no diss to Iowanites). Looks like i’m headin to NY! Now just gotta make sure i have enough chadda when i get back. . .

  4. Seeings how you have toured around in a van or bus a few times, have you been through every US state at least once? Which states haven’t you been to yet? Did any states surprise you with an eclectic selection of bonerable women?

    The thing I hate most about traveling is public restrooms because they are disgusting. Which state has the worst public restrooms, and why? Don’t worry about anyone’s feelings here, go ahead and call them suckers out.

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