Answers for question vol. 95



Whattup everyone.
Another week, another batch of questions. I can tell you guys are having fun with the “would you rather” type queries. Thanks for making this really gross and uncomfortable for everyone involved.
Anyway, if you got a question you want me to answer, shoot me an email: phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. As always, keep it interesting. At this point, no one should be asking me what my influences are or what my top five list of anything is. You guys are better than that.

When you hear a song you’ve never heard that you really like, do you play that shit more than once in a row and does it bother you if someone wants to listen to a single song over and over while you’re ears are in listening range? It may depend on the quality of the song but for the sake of argument, call it something that you don’t hate but don’t love either.

I’m not really an obsessive listener. I will occasionally get into a song and play it a lot but I never just sit there running it over and over again.I definitely know people who do that and it’s always seemed kinda weird to me. Perhaps that’s part of an addictive personality. I don’t have one so that might explain it.
With this in mind, you can imagine that I’m not crazy about having to listen to someone else’s favorite song over and over again. I was once on a road trip with this a few friends and the girl who was driving played the same three songs the entire ride (which was about 4 hours). She was one of those people who doesn’t really care about music so her Ipod had like 5 songs on it. One of them was “umbrella” By Rihanna. She just kept running it back over and over again. I even had my ipod there and when I offered to put it on she was like “na, it’s okay. I love this song”. Suffice to say, fuck that bitch.

So I’m on this softball team and we suck. I don’t mind though, I just get wild drunk and heckle the other team. So far I’ve been throwing out some great lines, for example “this dudes on the atkins diet, nigga gets no buns” and “batters a vegetarian, guys got no meat.” My question is, what other classic drunken insults can I hurl at the other team next week?

Damn…I’ve never been much of a sport heckler. I played on a bar league softball team for like 3 years and I ended up spending most of my time trying to come up with cheers for my own teams players. I think yelling “You suck!” as angrily as possible , with a crazy look on your face is just as effective as any witty comment you could ever think of.

The lives of your family and friends are at stake. Doing nothing will mean their gruesome deaths via acid. Again, you have two choices: Your first choice is to be tortured for seven days straight. Each day, your assailants will choose a new torture. You don’t know what the tortures will be and if you wind up blind or crippled in some way, then those are the breaks. Choice number two, is to eat a baby sandwich. The sandwich wouldn’t look or taste any different from any other sandwich, however, while you’re eating it, you have to watch a video of the baby being killed and made into a sandwich. Do you get tortured, eat the baby-sandwich, or do nothing?

Why do you sick assholes always want to make me choose between killing my family and something else? I don’t know what my family did in this alternative world that has put them at such a high risk for constantly being brutally murdered but it’s a pretty shitty world.
Anyway, I’d Eat the baby sandwich. It would be horrifying and , honestly, watching the video of the baby being killed would be harder than eating the actual sandwich but , at least, it would be over after that. And it probably tastes like a lamb kabob or something. I love lamb.

On a scale of 1 to “stop before I murder your bitch ass” where does the sound of nails on a chalkboard fall with you and is there any other sound that really gets under your skin?

I fucking hate the sound styrofoam makes when touched. Like, if I buy something and it’s encased in styrofoam, I have to leave the room while someone else removes it from its packaging. It’s crazy. So, if you ever see me speaking out against styrofoam (which I’d imagine won’t happen very often beyond the sentences I just wrote), know that it’s not cause I’m environmentally conscious, it’s cause I simply hate styrofoam.

If you could pick one object to have an committed romantic relationship with, (like that guy who gets down with his car or that lady in love with the Berlin wall) what would it be?

Oh, my Tv. Easily. I already date my TV pretty hard…sometimes I have a threesome with her and my PS3. Shit’s mad erotic. That’s the beauty of a TV is that you can always bring in other things to the relationship…cable boxes, netflix, on demand…I’d marry the fuck out of my TV.

You’ve been given two choices: Either you can have NO sex for the rest of your life–in fact, no sexual contact at all, including masturbation–Or, you can have ONLY butt sex with Rosie O’Donnell for the rest of your life, and her butt is always stinky. And if you chose celibacy then you can not cop out and say “well I’ll just kill myself”. Literally, no matter what you do, you are guaranteed another 50 years on earth, and the entire time you will be physically unable to have sex or masturbate. Even if the hottest chick in the world was necking you, you would just get really sexually frustrated. Alternatively, if you choose Rosie O’Donnell, you won’t get anything additional out of it. That is, no money, no notoriety, no book deals, nothing..EXCEPT for buttsex. But, you can have it as often as you want. Which one do you choose?

I think I’d go with no sex. I’m not one of those dudes who would get so crazed from being sex deprived I’d fuck a dude in jail so there’s no way I’d eventually be like “fine, I’ll sodomize Rosie”. I simply don’t think I could rise to the task. Not only does anal sex not interest me, but with her? Good lord, no. I guess I’d just get used to having wet dreams…OR, I’d just get tons of head. Ha! you didn’t say i couldn’t get head…or jerked off by other people. HA! Got you! I found the loophole! (unless you’re one of those weird people who describes sex as any sexual contact but I’ll just assume you’re not).

With the recent trades, What do you think of the up and coming Brooklyn nets?

I think it remains to be seen if that team can play together and, more importantly, stay healthy. I’m really happy they held on to Marshon Brooks though cause I feel like he’s going to be a really good player in the near future. The only downside of him is that he tends to disappear when he plays with better scorers. So, having him as the spark plug 6th man could be kinda perfect. That said, i see them as , at best, a second round playoff team. Much like the Knicks. But, hey, at least they’ll be competitive.

What other professions did you consider before really committing to becoming a music artist? If there was a toss up, what finally made you focus fully on your music? You’ve mentioned before that you come from a family of artists. Has your family always been supportive of your music and career choice? Also, what was your worst job? Sorry, so many questions. None of them are crazy but they are questions I’ve been thinking about. Keep cool.

I had NO CLUE of what I was gonna do prior to music. In fact, if this all ended today, I’d be fucked. I’m a college drop out with absolutely no skill sets that translate in the real world. Prior to music, i was just sort of living my life without direction and with a faint hope that the music shit would just kinda work. To say I’ve been lucky thus far is a huge understatement.

As for my family being supportive, sure. I mean, I’d imagine my mom and dad would have liked me to graduate college and have something to fall back on but they’re certainly proud of me at this point.

Worst job? I’ve answered this numerous times but whatever…i’ve had many. I’ve pretty much only had bad jobs. None that were like “cleaning toilets at truck stops” but more along the lines of working in the service industry for shit money. I’d say the lamest job I had was working as a security guard at Kim’s video on St. Marks place. I just wasn’t cut out for that. I literally just stood there all day watch people peruse cd’s and dvd’s. I wouldn’t have done shit if they stole anything. I wasn’t securing a fucking thing.
My “hardest” job was when i was 19 and worked at a special Ed school in Queens. My mom was a social worker there and got me the job the fall after I dropped out of college. I was basically there to assist this one kid who was all sorts of fucked up. Not in a handicapped way but he was severely emotionally disabled. It still blows my mind that they let a 19 year old with no background in such a thing anywhere near those kids. I had no clue what I was doing. I was such a shitty student myself that the idea of me helping anyone in class was comical.
I remember when student teacher conferences come around and i got to sit in on them. Being a 19 year old moron with no clue what I was doing, I felt it was my duty to chime in when discussing these learning disabled kids with their parents. Being that moronic 19 year old, I also felt it my duty to tell certain parents how badly their kids were acting, completely disregarding that they acted that way because they were learning disabled. I was such a prick but, hey, it’s not like I had any idea what was going on there. I was a year older than most of those kids myself.
Strangely enough, the weirdest part of that entire job was hanging out in the teachers lounge. Seeing the other side of that , only two years out of high school, was surreal. It was there I learned that many teacher are miserable ,hateful assholes who drink and party WAY too much on the weekends. Well, at least half of them were.
THE MORE YOU KNOW!

5 thoughts on “Answers for question vol. 95

      • Oh wow…thank you!! Sorry none of the other songs you could have done are out there. I understand that ‘Heavy Hitter’ is definitely not what you were planning, or even impressed with, but the beat itself is fantastic.

        You yourself are an inspiration to me–I had no idea you couldn’t even read music!

  1. That’s so funny. I was looping Escape the Meadow last night. I do that all the time with songs that resonate with me. Have a few songs where after the outtro of a song, I hear the intro start up. Wouldn’t make a passenger suffer that too long, though. And if it was Umbrella, I’d just kill myself.

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