Answers for questions vol. 96



I can’t believe I’m almost to volume 100 of this shit. Where have the years gone!?!? Anyway, I’d like to request some new questions. My pile is running low and I need some new stuff to work with…so go nuts. Send them to my email: phatfriendblog@gmail.com or elave them in the comments below. Whatever the case, do it. I need material yo!

If you were required to remove your nose off of your face and place it on a different body part where would you move it to? It cannot be anywhere above the neck and it’s a fully functioning nose.

This question is deep. I keep thinking of places to put my nose but everywhere i do ,it would put it at a great risk of breaking my nose constantly. I thought about putting it on my hand (or the back of of my hand but the idea of wiping my ass made me rethink that plan).
Upon deep consideration, I’d have to go with right on my adams apple. Really but default. It’s a place that doesn’t generally get hit a lot and it’s close enough to the original place that I wouldn’t constantly be overwhelmed by bodily smells. I assume I wouldn’t be the only person alive with their nose there…cause then it might be strange. If that were the case, i’d probably never leave the house so it could be anywhere.

When you get tired of seeing how your cousin is a Jesus freak with glitter unicorns and such on her Facebook page, is it too much to delete her. What if she requests you again? Would it be to soul crushing to ignore it? Could it in fact make her question the almighty Christ and get back on the heroin( she is a recovering addict)?…..Thoughts???

While there would be a strong want to argue with her and try and set her straight, I think we both know that nothing is that simple. She’s that way for a reason. That reason could be cause she’s crazy, lonely and recovering from a heroin addiction…but whatever it is, no snarky facebook comment is gonna make her see the light. My advice? Unsubscribe. It’s the best function facebook has ever made. I’ve unsubscribed to like 75% of the people I’m friends with just cause I didn’t feel like reading their dumb shit all day. Even better, for family and people you don’t really need nosing around in your shit all day, you can set it so certain people don’t get to see your posts in their timeline. They’d only see what you update if they go specifically to your page. That’s a big help. I’m telling you, modifying your facebook makes all the difference in the world. It can be a good place again, I swear.

Here’s one… if you suddenly woke up and lost your hearing, would you still make music ala Beethoven? Or would you move on to something else? I saw a movie a few years back about a DJ who lost his hearing, got depressed but couldn’t shake his love for music (“It’s All Gone Pete Tong”). Or do you love music so much you’d sign a deal with the devil to trade your eyesight for your hearing back?

Oh, if I lost my hearing, I’d be a wrap. I couldn’t make music without my hearing. My entire existence musically is based on a keen ear for melody. I couldn’t even make music if I was tone deaf, let alone full on deaf. I didn’t see that movie but the idea of doing so makes no sense to me. I mean, Beethoven is one thing but a dj? I dunno. Sounds like some bullshit to me.
The sight vs. hearing argument is a tough one. I feel like life would be harder without sight but less fulfilling without hearing. I think I’d have to chose to have sight though cause I need seeing all the time. Not to mention, my dad was almost totally deaf during his later years and he seemed to do alright with it.

Hangover 2 themed question. Waking up for a drunken blackout, would you rather: have a missing finger ( no chance of reattachment) or know you got banged by a tranny hooker (with no memory of it happening)?

I’m the type of person who could live with something like getting banged by a tranny hooker IF (and that’s a big “if”) i didn’t remember it happening. It’s like the whole “if a tree falls in the forest” but with sodomy. Granted, I’d never want that to happen ever but it it’s between that and losing a body part, I’m taking that. I’ve had a prostate exam and I’d just imagine the after effects of being fucked in the ass (and not remembering it) would be similar. Sit lightly.

Even though some might say “but it’s only a finger!” and on paper that’s valid…but in reality, not having a finger would be the worst. You ever bruise a part of your hand badly? For as long as that bruise is there, you then realize how often things bang up against your hands without you noticing. I’d Imagine losing a finger would be that times a billion. Sure, it would eventually heal but the initial pain in the ass-ness of it would be enough for me to easily choose the forgotten tranny romp…but only cause it was forgotten.

Sports:

I hear these arguments a lot. 

Which sport has the best athletes? Why?

I’m biased here but I gotta go with basketball. I say this cause it takes all the facets of athleticism. Power, speed, agility, hand eye coordination, finesse. Other sports rival it but the ability to be graceful within the structure of a totally contact sport is what puts it over the top for me.
Well, that or Nascar. Obviously.

Which championship is harder to earn (professionally and collegiately) and why?

Shit, I dunno. I’d imagine they all are insanely hard to to earn. When I think of casual sports i’ve played over the years and the lengths people would go to to win those, a game that means nothing, it’s crazy to imagine how intense and next level the vibe would be when something of worth is actually on the line.
When I think about it though, I might have to go with a sport you do alone. Like golf or tennis. In those sports, it’s 100% you. There’s no one to bail out out and that element of physical and mental strength might be the hardest to synch up.

Which city has the best sports fans? Which city has the worst?

Well, there are two ways to look at this: By best and worst, you could mean in the way they support their teams. In that case, I’d say the smaller town teams are the best. Those motherfuckers come out in droves to support teams that 99/100 times will never do shit. Hell, think of how popular high school football is in the south. I’d say, in many cases, the less you got to live for, the bigger a local fan you’re gonna be.
I got mad respect for the people who come out for their shitty teams. Like the Golden state warriors. They’ve sucked forever but that stadium is rocking at every home game.
Looking at it this way, I’d say Floridians are some of the worst fans ever as they don’t evencome out for winning teams. That blows my mind.
The other way to look at it would be to equate “worst” with most annoying. In this case, all fans that aren’t fans of the team you’re a fan of are the worst. I hate boston fans. I’m from NYC. It’s a given. They hate me. That’s how this thing works.

6 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 96

  1. Probably not the most exciting question but going with the “deaf” question from earlier…I hurt my ear at a show, was partially deaf for almost a month after. Luckily, my ear fully recovered, almost…but my ear was ringing constantly for almost a year after and to some extent to this day(almost 5 years later), I can’t wear head phones, especially ear buds because it fucks my ear up and I don’t want to have that feeling ever again. If i wear ear plugs to a show I am totally fine after, but it truly sucks and I am kind of fucked for life. On the plus side, I read way more than I ever did since I can no longer zone out on the train listening to music with headphones on(clubs and loud stereos don’t bother me though). That being said, I’ve noticed that some artists still don’t wear ear plugs. I saw El-p recently and I am pretty sure he had none, and the show was really fucking loud, even for my friends without my issue(they weren’t wearing ear plugs). Do you wear ear plugs at shows or when you play live? How many people do you know who’s hearing is fucked from playing live on not wearing ear plugs?

  2. I have a question for you (but it has a bit of a story with it). The question is “What’s behind the bed?” Here’s the back-story: Me and my buddy, Chris, drove from detroit to NYC for that Open Mike/ Billy Woods/ Nasa/ Willie Green/ PremRock/ Mega Ran show @ the cameo lounge (you were there too ; ). The show was AMAZING and every bit worth it! Everything was planned last minute and i ended up with a dirt cheap hotel in Red Hook, Brooklyn (right by the Ports). It looked nice, in the daytime. But when we got back after the show, we realized it was a lil ghetto. Outside of our hotel, there was a grade A crackhead (sells & smokes it) who for whatever reason liked me n my buddy. The first night we blew him off rather quickly. The 2nd night, there was no chance of that. Basically we tried to get into the hotel for an hour, but didnt want this fuckin guy anywhere near our room. So we were stuck hangin out with him while he was waiting on a hooker.
    At some point, this guy invited us to his room. We reluctantly accepted. As we entered, there was 20 sticks of insence burning, bags of crack on the desk, about 15-20 thousand dollars laying around, a shit-stained towel on the bed and a whole world of pure fuckery (he was LIVING in this hotel). He only had 1 rule: he stayed on one side of the room, we stayed on the other; we couldn’t cross the line. he was definately hiding SOMETHING on the other side of the bed. This guy smoke $50 worth of crack in one hit, right before our eyes. He was ordering prostitutes to the hotel (that poor Asian girl looked so cute until i realized where she was going. . .), flashing STACKS of 5k+, while showing us that he had TONS of hardcore drugs. Yet, we were not allowed to see this area behind his bed. So my question to you, good sir, is WHAT is behind the bed?
    A) Dead asian hookers B) The world’s largest crack rock C) Piles of Money D) Guns E) Piles of shit-stained towels F) Combo of any of the above G) Absolutely Nothing or H) whatever YOUR creative mind can come up with
    PS- This is a 100% true story and next time i visit New York, IM STAYIN ON YOUR COUCH! LOL

    • Sounds to me like dude was geekin pretty hard if he was burning through 50 rocks. He probably just wanted you to stay on the other side of the room so he didn’t have to freak out about you or your friends grabbing any of his money or drugs. That way he could see all of you at all times, which wouldn’t burden him with being paranoid about one more thing with the added bonus of having someone to lie to until the hooker got there.

      • I know people wanna join the conversation but I’d prefer if you all didn’t chime in on questions asked to me. I’m not mad or anything it just kinda defeats the purpose of someone asking me…and i need these questions as content for the blog in the future.

  3. Female Olympic sports: Are any worth watching from a perverted male’s perspective? Volleyball (beach or reggo’s), tennis (women bending over in skirts), gymnastics (probably a bit creepy since each girl looks 12), swimming (would be much better if in bikini’s or str8 nude), Basketball (your favorite sport, but the women are Amazonian), or anything else that i didn’t mention. . . Should i even pay attention to any, or just wait 2 years for women’s curling to come back?

  4. Do you like watching the Olympics? If so, what are your favorite sports to watch in winter/summer?

    Where do you see yourself in 15 years?

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