Song of the day 8/31/12

Buck the Devil By Da Lench Mob

The anti-white person rap song was always a confusing thing to me as a younger hip hop head. One one hand, I didn’t wanna hear about what terrible a person I was from my idols but, on the other, I couldn’t really argue their points. In the early 90’s, being a white hip hop head was accepting that you just gotta kinda take your licking. I remember the day I bought home the first X-Clan album , “To the east , blackwards”, and just being so torn as to how awesome the album was and how much these dudes would probably spit in my face if I were ever in the same room with them. This is actually the exact thing Eminem spoke about in this song:

Anyway, over the years, I’ve grown a strange appreciation for these songs. Maybe it’s me being delusional but I’ve always felt “they aren’t talking about me!”. And by convincing myself of that probable untruth, I’ve been able to enjoy the harsh anti-white statements made by some of my favorite rappers. I was actually planning to put together a best of compilation but my computer getting fucked up erased a huge amount of my i-tunes library so that’s , unfortunately, off the table.
This particular song is by Ice cubes spin off group Da Lench Mob. While that name was what he called his entire post-NWA crew, it was more specifically rappers J-dee, Shorty, T-bone and Maulkie. One thing is for sure, these dudes were not feeling the caucasians. This song, in particular, is one of the more direct “fuck you’s” to white ever made. Quite simple put “Buck the devil”. Why not?

While on the topic, here’s another anti-devil song I’ve always loved by Channel live. I always found this one to be especially funny cause, while the sentiment is harsh, it was also being put forth by a rapper I uses to routinely see in washington square park picking up white girls. No judgements though…just an observation.

The opening act AKA Eating shit

They sell you that…but more often than not, it’s really this

I recently saw ads for a reality show called “Opening Act”. I’m not sure if it’s aired yet, been cancelled or whatever but I can pretty much guess the plot line. They have unknown bands compete to get the chance to open for huge acts. That sounds about right.
Now, on paper, this seems like the chance of a lifetime. For most bands , the thought of performing at a huge venue where sports are played is a pipe dream. I can see why many bands would be rushing at the opportunity…but here’s a little know fact about being the opening act: it’s always sucks.
Anyone who’s toured can tell you that. If you’re not the headliner or the supporting act, 8 out of 10 times , you’re performing for no one. And if you do happen to have a crowd, they aren’t there for you and , typically, could care less. Sure, you might turn one or two people on to your music with every show (that’s kinda the point of being the opening act) but there is no glory to it whatsoever.
Just thinking about a show where some unknown band gets all revved up so they can open for Nicki Minaj or The Foo Fighters at some stadium makes my stomach hurt. Not cause of the opportunity but cause I know they’re going to take the stage at 5 pm to an 85% empty colosseum. It’s inevitably going to be one of those moments where all the excitement you had for the opportunity is drained out of you once you lay eyes on the sea of empty seats and people with their backs turned to the stage. Granted, this show will be a little different, exposure wise, cause it’s on a tv show but still…in REAL LIFE most musicians must eat some shit and , where performing is concerned, it’s called being the opening act. As painful as it is to be that act, I do think is necessary. Living the charmed life of an artist has to have some road blocks or else everyone would do it. Eating shit is something we, as musicians, must endure. It separates the people in it for the long run from the people in it for the moment.
I’m not stranger to this feeling. My first tour ever was in europe in 2003. I was opening for Amon Tobin , Kid koala and Bonobo (At least I think that’s who it as, it’s been a while). Back then, I didn’t have a live show. I hadn’t discovered ableton yet and literally had to learn how to DJ in two weeks. I had always been an “in studio” guy (and a lo-fi one at that) so nothing I did to create my music could be transferred on to the stage. So, what I did was take a bunch of records I had made music on and learned to blend them together…barely. It was a sloppy 35 minutes of me playing songs from my albums and some old Aesop beats. In my head, at the time, it was a huge deal. I was going to be on stage and everyone would be watching me. This was as crucial as it got. Little did I know that , in reality, I could have been just playing my itunes on shuffle and gotten the same response from the crowd.

My very first show was in London. The venue fit around 2000-3000 people. I had never even been to a venue that big to see a show, let alone performed in one. Just doing the sound check, I was amazed. I envisioned my self DJing for a wall of human bodies, all watching me meticulously as I struggled my way through my first live set. Well, as I went on stage, I had my first taste of something I would become all too familiar with. A barren wasteland of a room. A fuckigng host town with a balcony. You know what’s worse than a 2000 person room with no one in it? A 2000 person room with 50 people in it. It’s only then do you realize that not a single person gives a fuck what you’re doing on stage. You could be the sound man’s ipod for all they care. You also realize the value of space. I mean, these huge ass venues go on forever when you can see the floor. Still, I was as nervous as I’d ever been. I’m not lying when I say I almost shit in my pants half way through the set. I hadn’t yet learned that rule of “always take a dump before your show” that most musicians live by. The funny thing is , I could have pulled my pants down, taken a huge dump on stage and kept DJing and I’m pretty sure no one would have noticed.
After the show, I walked around the crowd. It was packed for the headlining acts. I might as well have been a ghost. I sold no merch. It was an all around humbling experience, to say the least.
That first tour (and the few following it) were all pretty much like that with a few random great shows thrown in. But I’m glad I got that experience cause it primed me for what being a touring musician is like. Not every night is going to go off. Hell, almost ten years later and I still have those nights where I’m wondering where all the people are. Or nights where people are literally sitting on stage with their backs to me while loudly conversing with someone else (I swear, i think murder is justified in that situation). It’s all part of the deal. I realize there’s this invented reality that people have for musicians and the life they lead but for most touring artists out there, eating shit is par for the course. It’s all about working your way up, gaining exposure , building audiences in different areas and putting yourself in a better position for future gigs.
The concept of “making it” by via being an opening act is laughable. What we artists have to accept is that, if you’re an opening act, you’re just there to fill time while people shuffle in. They could have hired a DJ, but they hired you instead. No shame in that though, cause we’ve all done it. But if you’re still being the opening act 10 years into your career, it might be time to wrap it up. Simply cause I don’t know how much of that one human’s ego can take.

Demo reviews Vol. 6

Well, it’s been a longer hiatus than I thought but Demo reviews are back. You guys recently sent me a shit ton more and , as the weeks pass, I’ll be getting to all of them (assuming you followed the rules). Just a reminder, DO NOT SEND ME MORE DEMOS. The flood gates are closed for the time being and I’ll certainly alert you when I need more.
As always, these reviews are just my opinions. Why should you care? You shouldn’t. I’m just a dude. I like that I like and , in general, i don’t like much.
The first part of the review is a paragraph or so where I give my thoughts and the second part is the more technical side where I give you numbers from 1-10, rating the songs according to these categories:

Originality: Obviously rating how much this differs from other music out there in a positive way. I’ll be shocked if anyone gets above a 5 out of 10 as this is a pretty tough category.
Listenability: Rating how hard/easy it was to sit through. This could go a few ways as I often find humor in music that’s extra bad so, it’s not always a compliment.
Production technique: Rating how well crafted the song was. Was it “professional”. How was it recorded and mixed.

As always, I’m not trying to hurt feelings…I’m just being honest. Welcome to the world of internet judgement. yeah, it usually sucks…

Artist: The Yours review
Song: Convertible

I think this one actually started kinda promising. I liked the “Drive” feel to it (I’m assuming this was made with the film “Drive” heavily on the mind) but, after a while all the music simplified too much and the synth sounds just felt sort of cheap. I get what the person was going for and it’s kinda interesting (not to mention gaining popularity in some places) but this simply wasn’t that interesting musically. Style over substance.

Originality: 4 out of 10
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
Production technique: 4 out of 10

Artist: Abboriginal
Song: Flyer than the moon

This is lacking some serious direction. There are elements of this beat I like but it keeps darting from part to part with no sort of connection. A bunch of the instruments are not in key with one another and the transitions are a mess. i don’t love the drums either but they sound more like the producers vision than just some guy who doesn’t know how to make decent drums.

Originality: 4 out of 10
Listenability: 3.5 out of 10
Production technique: 4 out of 10

Artist: Emit
Song: Blossom

This is kinda elevator music. That’s not totally a diss cause I’ve certainly heard my own music in elevators. I noticed that was described on the soundcloud page as “Chill out” music and that sounds about right. It’s not offensive but , ultimately very forgettable. Decent background music to not pay attention to but , beyond that, I never really know what to do with music like this. Maybe it’s just me…I don’t like my music to dictate how i “chill out”. That said, it’s put together decently and song has a good structure. So that’s something.

Originality: 3 out 10
listenability: 5 out of 10
Production technique:5 out of 10

Artist: Kids in Capes!
Song:The floor is lava

If I gave a shit about this kind of music I bet I’d like this a lot. Unfortunately, I don’t. It’s fine. It’s simply not something I would ever seek out for my personal listening pleasure. It’s got some cool parts and it’s well put together. The samples are actually pretty awesome. To be honest, I’m just salty cause this is the 4th instrumental tracks I’ve reviewed thus far. Who’s dick do I have to suck to get some rap to review? Don’t answer that.

Originality: 5 out 10
listenability:5 out of 10
production technique:5.5 out of 10

Artist: Cyclops
song: Too much soul (ft. Cee)

well, ask and you shall receive. Here’s some rap. Some very very average rap. It’s not bad…but it’s not good either. The beat is okay but the overall mix of the song takes away from everything. It sounds cluttered. Like the vocals were recorded through garage band or something. The rapper just doesn’t stick out on any level. That could partially be cause of the mix too but, honestly, I just think he’s simply not that interesting.

Originality: 3 out of 10
listenability:4 out of 10
production technique: 3 out of 10

Artist: Getulio, The Old Gorilla
Song: All day and all night

This is cool. Some good, hard, boom bap drums. Nice sample layering. It could definitely be edited down a little as most of it doesn’t really go anywhere in particular but the breakdown around 3:00 is cool. More stuff like that and less repeating the same thing over and over and this could be really dope. This would also benefit from a rapper on it…but, then again, most beats do.

Originality: 4 out of 10
listenability:5.5 out of 10
Production technique: 6 out of 10

Artist: Alex Ludovico
song: ?

This one shows potential. This dude can rap pretty well. he can also write pretty well. I definitely see him being a rapper that, in about 5 years, is very on point. Not that the skills aren’t there right now but there is something sort of amateur about this whole thing. It could easily be the beat and the recording quality but I feel like this dude is a few steps away from really coming into his own. That’s a good thing though.
also, a name change wouldn’t hurt…I’m just saying.

Originality:5 out of 10
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Production technique:3 out of 10

Artist: Deliciouss T
Song: Last will and testament

This pretty much sounds exactly like random early 90’s jazzy underground rap that I used to listen to but never aged well. So, with that, I can say there is a time and place for this. I might be too old and jaded to really wanna bump this but I’m sure there are tons of younger rap fans who haven’t heard this type of shit yet. So, maybe it’s for them. The beat and rapping are both okay but, like I said, this was done before a long time ago.

Originality: 3 out of 10
listenability:5 out of 10
production technique:4 out of 10

Artist: Slack Disast
Song: Goloboie (remix)

This beat it really interesting. It definitely plays for WAY too long before the rapping but it’s got a nice vibe to it. A successful minimal jazzy beat is hard to pull off and this does a good job at that. The rapping is some high guy shit. I kinda want the dude to take a sip of water or something. Sounds like he’s thirsty or just woke up. Lyrically , I’m not really sold on him but , at the same time, it’s not glaringly bad so it’s possible there’s more to this rapper than this song might let off.

Originality: 4.5 out of 10
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Production technique: 5 out of 10 (I get the feeling the whole lo fi approach is on purpose, which I like)

Artist: Aeons Elevator
Song: Bar none rough draft

This beat is dream like in that it’s got that smooth vibe and it’s also very boring. That said, these types of beats can be very good if the right rapper is on them. Unfortunately, the curse of White voice runs deep on this track. Not to mention , his delivery feels like he’s trying to either hit on me , sell me incense or talk to a child. The lyrics aren’t bad but the topic is excruciating. Maybe it’s just me but smooth , white rap love poems are kinda the worst.

Originality: 4 out of 10
listenability:4 out of 10
production technique:5 out of 10

Now, you tell me what you think?

New illogic /blockhead song and info on the next EP

What’s up,
Illogic and I are dropping our new EP “Preparing for capture 2” on september 11th.
Here’s a sneak preview of one of the songs as well as more info on the ep in general. Pre orders are available.

Also, we’re going to be playing a show together (as in literally on stage together, not just in the same line up) in Denver on september 8th.
Here’s info on that:

Answers for questions vol. 100!!!

I can’t believe this is the 100th one…actually, truth be told, it’s not. Somewhere along the line, I brain farted and skipped from vol. 22 to vol. 33…but at this point, it’s too late to turn back now so we’re just gonna roll with this.
In honor of my fake 100th celebration, I decided to dig in the vaults and find some of my favorite questions. Now, these aren’t so much the best questions or the best answers but topics that I enjoyed spouting off about. Some good stories and possible answers to things I reference all the time (like why I hate cats).
But let’s not forget why we’re here…send me questions…leave them in the comments below or email them to me at

Question: When you were a child, did a cat do something terrible to you?

Ahh yes…My disdain for cats. Allow me to elaborate. First and foremost, I’m allergic to cats. So, knowing that, my enjoyment of them as a pet was already a dead end. I don’t really like any animal that much, let alone one that makes me sick whenever i’m anywhere near it. Not even in the same room! If i’m somewhere where a cat has been recently, my eyes start to itch, my nose starts running and I gotta bounce. So, off the bat, fuck cats. But, ok, let’s be fair. Maybe I don’t know cats that well and need to give them a chance. Here’s the thing, cats are assholes. They are self involved, predatory animals who don’t give a shit about you. I realize every person who owns a cat is reading this and saying “yeah, but not my cat!”. Nope, you’re cats is a fucking cunt just like the rest of them. It’s not his/her fault though, as he/she is a cat. IT’S JUST HOW THEY ARE. You wanna see how much your cat loves you? Stop feeding it. Do the same to a dog. Dogs will still respond to you lovingly, even though they’re hungry. Cats? They’ll be out as soon as they realize the well that is you, has dried up. It’s in their nature.
Ok, so did something happen to me when I was a kid involving a cat? Well…kinda. This one time, I was walking back from school and decided to take a short cut through a back alley. As I got halfway down the alley, a group of cats, wearing leather jackets and carrying switch blades approached me. The meowed aggressively at me but I kept walking. As i tried to hustle by them, the leader ran under my feet and tripped me up. I was now on the ground , surrounded by these mean cats. I offered them my wallet as an exchange to let me go, but that’s not what they wanted. I even was willing to give up the tuna sandwich I had been saving for my after school snack. But no…it wasn’t enough. I don’t wanna get to deep into but let’s just say cat penises are sharp and 8 of them entering you at once is something you will never forget. Since then I’ve been on blah blah blah….No, but here’s something that actually did happen. I was at a friends house after a little league game when I was around 11. I had just got out of the shower and only had a towel around my waist. He thought it would be an awesome idea to throw a cat at my naked back. He did it and instead of just bouncing off me, the cat opted to dig it’s claws into my skin and hang from my back looking like a possessed raver napsack. It hung for what felt like 15 seconds (probably more like 3) and then released it’s claws and vanished. My back was bleeding. Now, I don’t think that’s really what made me hate cats, but it certainly didn’t help.

What is your opinion on the etiquette of texting people back? Are you the type of person who immediately responds to other people and expects a text back if there is still a conversation going? This girl i know will respond maybe 25% of the time, and she justifies this by assuming that the person she is blowing off will assume that she just didnt see it or was busy (she’s hot, so no one calls her on it). Definitely female behavior, but party foul?

I have strong feelings about this as I am a texter. I hate talking on the phone so I try and keep most of my interactions with people to text.
I am 100% a quick responder and someone who expects that same courtesy back.
The way I see it, there are three types of texts and they need to be treated in their own way.
1)A question text.
This is when you text someone with a specific question. Something that is perhaps important and time is of the essence. These texts should ALWAYS be responded to immediately. I get if the other person is busy or away from their phone…but if you’re the type of person who gets a question text , looks at it and doesn’t answer within 5 minutes, there is a special room in hell for you.

2)Shoot the shit texts
These are casual texts , often between a girl and a guy. It’s kinda like an invite to AIM on your phones. If both parties aren’t busy, the responses will flow naturally. If one person isn’t up for it, then they should respond quickly with their excuse and keep it moving. Oh, and these kind of interactions should never end abruptly. imagine all the decent booty call relationships that have been ruined cause of a flirty text message barrage ending abruptly and that one person reading into it wrong.

3)Funny texts
This is when you send someone something funny they just saw, or a link or a pic. The person should respond with their reaction and that’s that.

So, basically, if you have no excuse and want to maintain a level of friendship and respect with the person who texts you, you should always respond in some way within 5 minutes of reading the text. Otherwise, you’re a dickhead. Oh, and that girl you know is a piece of shit.

What’s the worst sex you’ve experienced?
I’d say the worst overall experience that comes to mind was the first time I went down on a girl. I was 15 and dating this punk rock girl. We had been hooking up for a while and no oral sex had happened yet. in fact, it hadn’t even been hinted at. Finally , one night, she went down on me. It was a very 16 year old blow job in that it was awkward and never really went anywhere. It was like my dick was just kinda hanging out in her mouth. Not much movement or anything. Eventually , she just stopped. According to male law that my other 15 year old friends had taught me, this was my cue to go down. It was pitch dark in the room and I had never seen a vagina before let alone had my face in one. I got down there and she was very hairy. I mean , this was the early 90′s and she was on some Riot Grrrrrl shit, so it’s not too shocking. I bushwacked my way through the hair until I found a moist spot and started licking it. I remember it was summer and very humid. Suffice to say, it was like a jungle asshole down there and i was struggling. The thing is, I was completely clueless of the female anatomy at that point. I was just licking it where ever , hoping that my tongue would land on skin, as opposed to a tuft of matted hair. The smell was rough. It smelled like old sweat and fecal matter. I eventually gave up and, I swear, the smell didn’t fully leave my mouth and face for like 5 days.
Years later, when i had the whole pussy eating thing well figured out, it dawned on me that I very likely had been licking that girls asshole. FAIL. I think the funniest thing about that is that she either thought I was a retard or just a REALLY kinky dude who liked licking assholes at age 15. I guess I’ll never know.

If we’re talking actual intercourse, I’ve certainly had my share of short rides but none that were truly that bad. The worst sex I’ve ever had has been with girls who were doing it for the wrong reasons. Like getting back at some dude or because they were lonely and needed a place to crash. I would have rather just not had sex at all.
That or just weirdo girls. There was this one girl i used to sleep with occasionally and it was ok. I guess one time I was entering her from behind and i slipped making my penis poke her butthole. It didn’t even go in it. Not even close. She freaked out (i was drunk and slipped, get over it!) and from then on, her ass was off limits to me. And I mean her whole ass. Like, she wouldn’t let me put my hand on the cheeks. Needless to say, that ended pretty soon after that. If i can’t cup a girls ass, what’s the fucking point? Anyway, I always found that funny cause not matter how much I explained to her I had no interest in that entrance, she wouldn’t drop it. And seriously , I have NO interest in that hole. What a stupid bitch. I hope her and her current boyfriend/husband are having shitty sex right now with their hands tied behind their backs.

Did you ever have first hand experience with Asian gang kids from Chinatown or anywhere else in the city?

I’m not sure If I’ve told this story on this blog before , but I was at a pool hall when an asian gang shot it up. kinda…
I was about 15 and this place Le’Q was one of my favorite hangouts. My friends and I would go there, play pool and video games and get fucked up. There was always an air of danger there but I think I was too comfortable there to really take notice. Lots of Asian gang dudes but also lots of general low lives drinking 40′s and smoking blunts in the basement.
Anyway, one day, I’m there with a few friends and we’re just chilling playing video games. They were high as fuck and I was sober. At some point, they want to get some munchies so we bounce to the corner store. As we’re returning from the store, we’re about 80 feet from the Le Q entrance and I hear a loud fire cracker like sound and see two asian dudes backing out of there blazing machine guns. They jump into a car and screech away. Now, my two friends, are so high, they don’t even fucking notice that a machine gun was just fired well within our audible range. I tell them what happened and they don’t believe me (they were MAD high). We walk to the open door of Le Q to see the smoke clearing. As it fades , I look over and see about 4 people on the ground. Two of them were not moving and two were writhing in pain. There was certainly blood and people were screaming and hiding behind pool tables like wack-a-moles. The people who got shot had been sitting, LITERALLY in the exact same seats we had been in prior to leaving for our snacks. In fact, I’d venture to say the dudes who did it waited for us to leave so they would be able to get a clear shots on their target.
Anyway, We all absorbed this in and it hit us what we had just seen so we sprinted 5 blocks to my friends house. Not sure why we sprinted as the shooters were long gone but I suppose that was a natural reaction to seeing some fucked up shit.Since then, I’ve been pretty adamant about never fucking with asian kids. They don’t play.

Worst job you ever had?

When I was 19, I had just dropped out of College. My parents weren’t happy and I had no intention of going back. At the time, My mom was working as a social worker at a school for disabled kids. Somehow, she pulled some strings and got me a job there. It was a high school and some of the kids were actually older than me. I could go into a long-winded yet uplifting story about how hard yet fulfilling this job was but I’d be lying. While I do think it could have been that way, I was 19. I was in no mind-set to be working that kind of job. Basically, I would get up at 5:30 am (strike one), take the F train to the last stop in Queens and then take a bus (strike 2) , just to arrive at this madhouse full of kids ranging from slightly emotionally disturbed dyslexics to batshit crazy kids that needed harnesses to walk (strike 3 through 8). Again, My 19-year-old brain was not prepared for this. Because I was under qualified , my job was to give special help to this one student in particular. I was basically a less glorified teachers assistant. He had something known as Prader willi syndrome. I’m not 100% sure about all of the characteristics of it but he was highly OCD and emotionally childish. He ate EVERYTHING. In fact, he had a little bald spot on his head from where he scratched and made dandruff fall, that he would then eat off the desks. Worst of all for the kid was that he was never gonna age. He was pretty much just stuck in the body of a pudgy , awkward 13-year-old forever. I felt terrible for the kid but, also, he was a total asshole. I realize that this is entirely due to his condition but , man, I hated that kid so much at that time. His condition was one that made any good deed done to make his life easier completely thankless. He’d scream at me all the time and cry uncontrollably when he didn’t get what he wanted. It was awful. So, yeah, that job sucked. I’m glad I did it in hindsight, but it was completely brutal at the time.

what is proper public bathroom etiquette?
I’m somewhat of a novice with public bathrooms. I’ll pee anywhere but shitting is a different story. With that in mind, lemme see if I can draw up a few guidelines, as I see them.
1)Eyes up top.
Obviously, don’t look at another mans cock while he’s peeing. That goes without saying. But, it’s easily rule #1

2)Not everyone needs to wash their hands after peeing.
With all these toilets that flush on their own now, washing your hands after peeing is somewhat pointless. How dirty is the skin of your dick? So dirty that you need to clean your hands off? Assuming you didn’t piss on your fingers or touch the inside of the urinal, you should be good to go. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it , it’s just shouldn’t be obligatory. I’ve seen people scoff at others who don’t wash their hands after peeing. Fuck them. Learn to piss straight and it’s not an issue.

3)If you gotta go, let it fly
Pretty much all the times I’ve had to let a huge dump out in public were emergencies. Otherwise I wouldn’t be there. When you first approach this situation , I think most people try to be coy about it and attempt to silently slip out the quietest shit known to man. This never works as it just tends to lead to a drawn out farting sequence that sounds like a grade school band tuning their instruments. So, the answer is just to have no shame and let it fly. Shit your brains out. You don’t know these other people. Let them bask in your horrific dump. If you want, hit them with a courtesy flush…or don’t. Again, you don’t know them. Not to mention, we’ve all been there. It may be gross to hear another person do it but , surely, we can all relate.

4) Don’t speak.
Word to No Doubt. When pissing or shitting next to someone, keep your fucking mouth shut. This includes cell phone conversations cause , i’m not looking at you. Maybe I think you’re talking to me. Public bathrooms should be treated like libraries. Keep everything to a whisper. Except for thunderous dumps. That’s out of your hands.

I’m really interested in a post by you about ‘reasoning with dumb violent people’.

I don’t know if there’s a whole post worth in here but I can give some pointers of how I go about it.
1) Make them think they’re not in the wrong
Because they’re dumb and reasoning is not an option, the idea is to appeal to their frightened side and make them think they have a point. Like, “Yes, I understand he stepped on your shoe. That certainly is a murder worthy offense. But you don’t wanna go to jail, right?”

2)Assure them that “everything is ok” and “it’s over”
I suppose this is kinda just some jedi mind trick but by telling them these things they might believe you. I most cases, they are a drunk person looking for a reason to fight someone. This also means their attention could be flipped on you at any second. Just play the calming role and hopefully it will soothe their savage brain.

3)Remove them from the area where the problem is occurring
Much like angry dogs, dumb violent people won’t rest until the thing they’ve set their sights on has been either removed from their line of vision or killed. So, either get that person out of there or get the dumb violent person out of there. Once the coast is clear, they will very likely calm down a bit. buying them a shot (or whatever) seems to go over well as that is like the dumb violent persons mating call as well.

4)If this violence is aimed at you, appeal to their ego
Nothing wrong with being a pussy if some lunatic wants to kick your ass for no reason. Take the L, emotionally. If he wants you to say you’re a pussy in front of his friends, say it. He’s a dickhead, and so are his friends. Losing their respect is far more worth it than getting your ass stomped by a bunch of drunk mongoloids.

What’s the appeal in the sexual conquest of barely legal tail? You mentioned how 18 year olds are generally bad at sex, yet they’re coveted by men (see the howls of anticipation when nubile teen celebs approach 18). Is this due to the simple idea that they’re in their prime physically? Or is it something more primal than that–in the face of their virginal inexperience, there are less expectations as far as sexual gratification is concerned, and the guy is free to go hog wild? I’m really curious what your take on this phenomenon is.

GREAT question. seriously.
I have lots of thoughts on this. There are many different levels to why dudes want young girls,. One is, as you said, how they look physically. I mean, lets not front, they’re toned, their skin is softer, and nothing is drooping yet. That said , I think it goes deeper than just that into the male psyche. I think one of the main things that men love about them is the idea that they’re “Pure”. The idea that they’re getting to touch upon something that hasn’t been ruined by other people yet. The irony of this is that , nowadays, by the time a girl is 18, she’s most likely been through the sexual ringer. Kids today are fucking at a younger age and more “extreme” with their practices (well done, internet porn!).
I think a big part of it is the male ego. Men want to be the first to conquer. And I don’t mean this in a taking virginity kinda way. I mean, the want to be the guy who opens up all these sexual doors to the wide eyed sexual new comer. It’s 100% ego based and I’m willing to bet that plays into this greatly. To be the guy who “turned a girl out” is a big deal to lots of dudes. That said, no one “turns out” a virgin. I’ve never had sex with a virgin. I’ve never wanted to. It seems like no fun and just a lot of extra emotional bullshit to deal with for someone you’re very likely not that attached to.
You’ll sometimes hear dudes talk of virgins like a special prize. But I think that’s just talk. It’s a responsibility. The only thing about a virgin I could see as a huge plus is that you’re 100% sure she’s clean. Cause, the sex itself, is gonna be wack. It hurts her. It’s too tight. Blood. I dunno…doesn’t sound like a good time unless you’re a creep who enjoys inflicting pain on girls.
Much better than virgins are the girls who have had some experiences but none that were great. They’re past the point where it will hurt but not yet to the point where they really enjoy it. That’s when the male ego goes into overdrive and wants to devour.

Regardless, older dudes wanting the hot young girls will never end. We’re just wired to crave what we wanted back in high school. We simply don’t really change that much. I’d say the most important part of that is excepting you’re too old for that shit and moving on.

Song of the day 8/24/12

Slaves By The Cenobites

Just a little website note:
So, things have been a little slow round these parts where this blog is concerned cause my hard drive crapped out. Or, I should say, it almost crapped out and I had to get a new one and transfer everything from the old computer to the new one. Thus far, I’ve seemingly lost (at least for the time being) tons of shit and I’m in the midst of trying to recover as much as I can (YES, I HAVE AN EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE). It’s more a case of corrupted files than things just vanishing.
Anyway, I haven’t been able to write anything the last few days and in an hour I’m flying to San Francisco so I won’t be able to write much today either. I hope to have this thing running back to normal next week but it’s possible there might be a lull in content on here for a little bit while I get everything fixed.

Now, for this song…there’s a good chance I’ve posted this song here before. I’m pretty sure that link is very dead at this point so I figured there’s no harm in sharing it again. This is one of my quintessential old nerd rap anthems. Well, it’s not really nerd rap but it’s some deep underground shit so , you know how that goes…Anyway, it’s Kool Keith and Godfather Don shitting all over the music industry. Don’s verse in particular is one of my favorite steam on consciousness verses ever. So, Enjoy!

Tour Dates: I’m finally hitting Europe again

I’m writing this post to announce that I’ll be hitting europe for some shows with DJ Cam this september. I haven’t been out there for shows in probably 6 or 7 years. Why? No clue. I literally just didn’t get any offers. While I’d like to tell you I’m coming to all sorts of places while I’m there, unfortunately, this is a pretty limited tour. Places like the UK and France, where I’ve played in the past, are not on the list. In fact, western europe in general is not well represented. Ideally, these shows go well and I get to go back out again and hit some more familiar spots. That said, I’m getting to go to pretty much all places I’ve never been to before (minus Berlin) so that’s pretty exciting. For all the people who tweet and facebook me about playing where they live, you can help. contact local promoters who put on shows. Tell them to book me. The more they realize that I can sell tickets there, the better chance there is that I get out there. If you got real connections, hit up my booking agent Colin at
Anyway, here are the dates. There are only 5 but if you live anywhere near these places, come out and say hi. I’d love to see you.

9.25.12 Berlin, Germany @Cassiopeia
9.27.12 Budapest, Hungary @Akvarium Klub
9.28.12 Vilnius, Lithuania @Loftas
9.29.12 Moscow, Russia @Pravda club
9.30.12 St. Petersburg Russia @ Dusche Club

Answers for questions vol. 99

Good day to you. Another week, more questions. We’re one away from the 100th installment of this and I’m planning a big surprise! Just kidding…I’m not doing anything special…Well…maybe. who knows?
Just in case I don’t , send me more questions. Good questions. Interesting questions. Funny questions. Leave them in the comments below or email me them at

Does it ever bother you that the majority of your fans are white kids? Being that your doing a type of music that originated from the ghetto, I would assume it would have to irk you a little bit, that black and brown folks don’t bump your shit like white kids do.

Not at all. I think, like most artists, I’m happy to have fans at all. Also, as a white artist, this isn’t that big of a deal to me. I’ve definitely known black artists (not so much recently but back in the day) who would be confused by their mostly white audience but, like I said, a fan is a fan and if you’re making money off music, you shouldn’t be complaining. To be honest, beyond race, I’m way more bummed out when I find out what dipshits some of my fans are via facebook and twitter. I’m sure some of them feel the same way about me though so it’s kind of a moot point.

what is one of your most embarrassing moments everrrr?

That’s tough. Like most people I’ve certainly had my share of embarrassing moments in life…but very few that were soul crushing. I’ve always been a fairly cautious dude so , in general, I don’t really put myself in situations where I’m open to be completely embarrassed. I’m sure I’m forgetting a major one but the thing that pops into my head is something I’m pretty sure I’ve told on this blog already. I was maybe 15 and just chilling in my bedroom watching tv. I had my hand down my pants Al bundy style. My walked in the room, saw that and immediately bounced. I was mortified that she THOUGHT she caught me jerking off when in reality I was just chilling. Dinner time was like 45 minutes after that and I couldn’t decide whether I should confront it and deny it or just leave it be. I opted to leave it alone and that dinner was fucking awkward.
Well, my mom reads this blog sometimes so, hopefully that will clear everything up.
Also, I do have an embarrassing blow job story but , like I said, my mom reads this so it’ll have to stay on ice.

How do you feel about your dad’s art? How do you feel about modern art in general? Do you go to museums?

I’m obviously a fan of my dads art. I mean, it would be weird not to be. I think the thing I like most about it is that he did a little of everything. While many artists just work in one medium, he pretty much used everything he could get his hands on…from paintings, to carving to working with steels to clay. He never got hung up on one thing for too long and never settled on something cause it was the “hip” thing to do.
That said, I really have no taste for modern art. I grew up going to galleries , listening to people bullshit each other about the value of art and it got tired for me at a very young age. It’s not very different from the music scene except it’s even more wide open to interpretation. Meaning, there’s way more room to bullshit. I pretty much threw in the towel on caring about modern art when I was in my late teens. I was working at a gallery for the summer, doing grunt work. I helped them hang an exhibition and just sitting there listening to the gallery owners compare and contrast the different pieces , explaining why one was great and one was terrible, just annoyed me. To me, all that shit was impressive but they looked at everything with such a calculated and trend aware eye that it all just seemed disingenuous.
Nowadays, I avoid galleries and museums partially cause I don’t really care but also cause , for some reason, when I walk inside them I immediately want to go to sleep. If I lived in a gallery, I’d be the best rested person one earth.
For those interested, here’s the website for my dad’s art:

The older i get (I’m 27 now) the closer to flat out shitting my pants i get and the circumstances almost causing this crisis get more bizarre. Hit a bump on my bike, close call. Yawn, close call. Hot girl, close call. Is this a normal function of an aging male and should i accept the fact that I’ll eventually shit my pants in public or should i maybe stop eating stauffers and drinking coffee?

While I’ve noticed an increased urgency in some shits, for the most part, it’s controllable. If you’re 27 and having bowel control issues, it might actually be more than just the coffee and stoeffers. It may be time to get that checked out. Enjoy the doctors fingers in you butt. Good times.
I’ve had a few close calls in my time but they’re always a result of eating too much , too fast or the wrong food. I’m a glutton like that. I’m way more scared of sharts. Those can really sneak up on you and are way harder to control.
One of the funniest moments of my life is based around someone shitting themselves. I was chilling at home when I was like 16 and my brother walked in the door. He swiftly made a b-line into the bathroom only saying ” Shut up and don’t ask questions”. I found that to be a peculiar statement to enter any room without a gun so I figured this would be a perfect time to harass my brother. In fact, had he not said anything, I would be none the wiser. Turns out he had shit his pants…like COMPLETELY shit his pants about 3 blocks away and walked the entire way with a full adult sized dump in his underwear. It’s definitely a “had to have been there” kinda thing but I was on the floor, weeping with laughter when that got revealed.

Seeing as (depending on your early life drug use) you probably remember the 90′s pretty well, how do you think the internet and flash culture (people knowing things in 10 seconds, internet sensations, etc) has affected humor? Was humor better before the internet? Was the world a less annoying place when everybody wasn’t so focused on being ironic and super sarcastic?

Oh god yes. It’s funny that, given all these amazing and easy opportunities that living in 2012 is, we’re far less creative and original than we’ve ever been. Peoples attention spans are completely stunted from all of this. I used to literally sit and read liner noted of my cassette tapes for hours while listening to to music. Now it’s like people spend 5 minutes skimming through an album and immediately form deep opinions on that. Opinion they then vomit out on the internet like they actually are based in any reality whatsoever. That’s just a minor example of how all this technology has kinda numbed us.
As for humor, it works both ways. I think humor has changed because of the internet. On one hand, the shelf life of a joke has been greatly cut down. Things spread around so fast that if you tell someone about some funny link 3 days late they’ll look at you and roll their eyes.
On the other hand, the creation of meme’s and shit like that is interesting to me. It’s a totally new type of humor that didn’t really exist in the 90’s. The internet also enables people who may be unfunny social retards to anonymously be funny online. So, in that sense, it’s somewhat of a creative springboard for many people.
Overall, I think the biggest difference between then and now is how people can hide on the internet. Being anonymous has given a lot of the wrong people false confidence. Whether it be them trolling people or spouting off their uninformed opinions…back in the day, you couldn’t really do that cause there was no public forum for people to do it and not be held responsible. It was the era of actually having to pick up a phone connected to a wall and call someone.

I agree with you that there are plenty of topics that make poor conversation – namely music, drinking and druugs. Nobody cares what you listen to and nobody cares that “cannibal ox” changed your life… fark that. Why do these things that people get so involved in and obsessive over make such terrible topics to shoot the breeze?

Well, on the most base level, it’s cause I’m asking for questions to answer. I’d imagine people just see that and write me whatever pops in their head. But, below the surface, I think it’s cause everyone , deep down, wants to think they share a common bond with someone they admire. I’d imagine my fans, when asking me about certain artists, are simply fishing for approval of their likes/dislikes. Anytime a person asks me “Do you like______?” it’s usually followed by a sentence or two where they either shit on or praise the artist…as if that’s going to effect my opinion on it. I almost enjoy disagreeing with people like that cause , 9/10 times their reasoning for disliking something is some weird emotional hissy fit that’s totally their own problem and not at all based on the value of the music itself.
But, at the end of the day, “shooting the breeze” is what this is. I’m sure I come off like an opinionated asshole sometimes on here (and I’m not saying that’s not kinda true) but it’s all played up for the greater good of the entertainment value of this blog. In reality, I don’t REALLY give a shit about any of this stuff. I’m not losing sleep over what someone in iowa thinks about Necro or what someone in finland thinks about my newest album. All this is just me talking.