Sup sup. I just got back from a electronic music festival and ,boy, are my arms tired…from waving glow sticks. Just kidding. I don’t touch glow sticks.
Anyway, as always, I need you. Ask me questions…get nutty with it. leave them in the comments below or send them to my email: firstname.lastname@example.org Don’t be shy. Worse case scenario, I just ignore it cause it’s a bad/rehashed question. No big deal.
Okay, let’s see what the mail bag got this week…
I have a question for you (but it has a bit of a story with it). The question is “What’s behind the bed?” Here’s the back-story: Me and my buddy, Chris, drove from detroit to NYC for that Open Mike/ Billy Woods/ Nasa/ Willie Green/ PremRock/ Mega Ran show @ the cameo lounge (you were there too ; ). The show was AMAZING and every bit worth it! Everything was planned last minute and i ended up with a dirt cheap hotel in Red Hook, Brooklyn (right by the Ports). It looked nice, in the daytime. But when we got back after the show, we realized it was a lil ghetto. Outside of our hotel, there was a grade A crackhead (sells & smokes it) who for whatever reason liked me n my buddy. The first night we blew him off rather quickly. The 2nd night, there was no chance of that. Basically we tried to get into the hotel for an hour, but didnt want this fuckin guy anywhere near our room. So we were stuck hangin out with him while he was waiting on a hooker.
At some point, this guy invited us to his room. We reluctantly accepted. As we entered, there was 20 sticks of insence burning, bags of crack on the desk, about 15-20 thousand dollars laying around, a shit-stained towel on the bed and a whole world of pure fuckery (he was LIVING in this hotel). He only had 1 rule: he stayed on one side of the room, we stayed on the other; we couldn’t cross the line. he was definately hiding SOMETHING on the other side of the bed. This guy smoke $50 worth of crack in one hit, right before our eyes. He was ordering prostitutes to the hotel (that poor Asian girl looked so cute until i realized where she was going. . .), flashing STACKS of 5k+, while showing us that he had TONS of hardcore drugs. Yet, we were not allowed to see this area behind his bed. So my question to you, good sir, is WHAT is behind the bed?
A) Dead asian hookers B) The world’s largest crack rock C) Piles of Money D) Guns E) Piles of shit-stained towels F) Combo of any of the above G) Absolutely Nothing or H) whatever YOUR creative mind can come up with
PS- This is a 100% true story and next time i visit New York, IM STAYIN ON YOUR COUCH! LOL
So much wrong with that story. First off, a crackhead who sells crack? That’s like rules #1 of dealing drugs. Don’t get high on your own supply. You sure he just wasn’t a pimp/crack dealer with poor hygiene? Or just a crackhead with the keys to the right hotel room?
Secondly, he liked you and your buddy cause he was, on some level, trying to game you guys. I don’t know what his plan was there’s no way he was just like “I like these guys! i wanna hang out with them and allow them into my horrific world where there are drugs and hookers everywhere”. I know that these types can be relentless in their pursuit of what they want but how on earth did you actually end up going back to his hotel room with him? Did he offer you guys something you wanted? As a person who’s been approached by weird people my entire life and propositioned to do weird things (growing up in the west village will do that) , I know that when an obviously unstable/high/crazy/dangerous person propositions you to do ANYTHING, you don’t do it. You just politely weasel your way out of the situation…or just tell them to fuck off and bounce (depending on how threatening/imposing that person is). I’d be curious to hear what his pitch was to get you guys into the hotel room…and also, what happened after you were there. I feel like there’s so much more to this story than just these little details. Also, I’d like to clarify, I totally believe this all happened (didn’t want it to come across like I’m doubting any of this) but I just wanna know the whole story. Basically, I think he lured you guys back to his hotel with promises of fucking some asian hooker and you guys drunkly accepted. No shame in your game, if that’s the case. If you boned the hooker, it’s all good. I just wanna know for sure cause going to a hotel room with a crackhead pimp would be a mighty hard sell to anyone who values their life whatsoever.
oh and as for what was behind the bed? Guns. Obviously. Come on…you know that.
Probably not the most exciting question but going with the “deaf” question from earlier…I hurt my ear at a show, was partially deaf for almost a month after. Luckily, my ear fully recovered, almost…but my ear was ringing constantly for almost a year after and to some extent to this day(almost 5 years later), I can’t wear head phones, especially ear buds because it fucks my ear up and I don’t want to have that feeling ever again. If i wear ear plugs to a show I am totally fine after, but it truly sucks and I am kind of fucked for life. On the plus side, I read way more than I ever did since I can no longer zone out on the train listening to music with headphones on(clubs and loud stereos don’t bother me though). That being said, I’ve noticed that some artists still don’t wear ear plugs. I saw El-p recently and I am pretty sure he had none, and the show was really fucking loud, even for my friends without my issue(they weren’t wearing ear plugs). Do you wear ear plugs at shows or when you play live? How many people do you know who’s hearing is fucked from playing live on not wearing ear plugs?
This is definitely an issue for many musicians. I personally don’t wear ear plugs on stage but what we hear on stage and what you guys hear out in the audience is very different.
You guys have shit blasting at full volume and we’re just hearing the back of those speakers and the monitors. The monitors usually are set during soundcheck and , hopefully, are not too loud. When I go to shows to hear music, I usually put napkins in my ears. I honestly don’t understand why music has to be played THAT loud. It’s a similar concept to me as people who want to eat the hottest hot sauce. At some point loudness and spice go to far, past the point of enjoyable and into the realm of painful. I’ve been to shows where there is simply no way people are enjoying the music at that blistering volume.
I’ve done my fair share of shows where there was no sound check and I just hopped on stage , plugged in and went in. A few of those were brutal cause I guess whoever did soundcheck was a fan of blasting their monitors to a point of me nearly passing out on stage. Like literally i felt ill. That’s no fun.
As for people i know with fucked up hearing, we all complain about it but the ones who actually have damage are usually the ones who blast their own music too loud when making it at home. I don’t have the problem but I know some people can’t make their music without it blasting at full volume.
Female Olympic sports: Are any worth watching from a perverted male’s perspective? Volleyball (beach or reggo’s), tennis (women bending over in skirts), gymnastics (probably a bit creepy since each girl looks 12), swimming (would be much better if in bikini’s or str8 nude), Basketball (your favorite sport, but the women are Amazonian), or anything else that i didn’t mention. . . Should i even pay attention to any, or just wait 2 years for women’s curling to come back?
I mean, there are some sports that have some good things going on.
Women’s beach volleyball had some dope bodies. Spain’s team had ass for days.
I found the swimmers to all look like dudes with a slight case of downs syndrome. Maybe it’s the swimming caps they wear. They also all seemed to have man shoulders and flat chests. Again, it could be the outfits but that shit was not pleasing to the eye.
Tennis, as always, has some hot girls.
Gymnastics is some pedophile shit to watch with any sort of sexual arousal in mind. those girls not only look 12 but they are mostly like 15 , right? gross.
I was told the woman’s field hockey had the hottest girls but who wants to watch that boring shit.
The track and field girls have amazing asses but a lot of them have arms like buff men so it’s kinda hard to really get into them. Basically, the olympics are not a titty friendly environment.
But, to answer your questions, I really didn’t watch any of these events from a pervy perspective cause there’s this thing called porn that exists. If I want to watch something for that purpose I’ll skip over the blood sweat and tears of competitive sports and watch the blood sweat and tears of professional porn.
Imagine you have to beat up either your current girlfriend OR your mother, who would you choose and why? If you refuse, your whole apartment would burn to ashes(with your precious laptop and other equipment) . Btw, you have to beat her REALLY bad up, with maybe a broken bone or two. Of course she can sue you afterwards if she want.
Okay, I’m getting a little tired of these impossible questions that put me in these situations where I’m forced to do something unspeakable to someone I love. What is this, “Saw 6”? I would never beat up either of those people in a millions years. I mean, obviously,if this were a real situation I’d sooner beat up my girl simply because she’s younger and would heal quicker (and she didn’t give birth to me) but fuck this question.
So, recently, and by recently I mean last week, I bought myself an MPC2000xl on ebay. It’s in pretty good condition and shit, but it’s old. Anyways, what type of sampler was used on Music By Cavelight? and also, got any tips on what’s okay to sample and what’s not? I mean, I have a shit ton of records, a rather large amount of VHS tapes and movies, and a cassette player. I’m not looking to scratch, since it’s just a poor record player. Also, sampling the movie “Rain Man”, yey or ney?
I use an ASR-10. I’ve used it since 1995 and still have the same one right now. So, i’ve used it on all my albums.
As for sample sources, use whatever you want. You’re just starting so there’s no point in limiting yourself now as you learn what you’re doing. If this hobby becomes something bigger than you can start worrying about sample clearance but, for now, just think of what you’re doing as the minor leagues. You’re finding your sound and honing your craft. At this point, you need experience in making music. Whatever source material inspires that, do it. Just don’t try and sell it when you’re done. Partially cause you put yourself at risk but also because , if you’re just starting out, you’re music is most likely not ready for public consumption anyway.
Would you rather fuck Marilyn Manson or be Charlie Manson?
I’d rather be dead than either but I suppose being charlie would be better than being inside Marilyn. Both involve a jail of some sort. One literal, one figurative.
Do you like watching the Olympics? If so, what are your favorite sports to watch in winter/summer?
Since the olympics just ended I might as well get both these questions out of the way.
I sort of enjoy the olympics. It’s something I can turn on and there will be a 50% chance that something I’m willing to watch will be on. However, I also don’t really give a shit. Like if I had missed it entirely , I’d be fine with that. I’m not a particularly patriotic person and that angle of the olympics doesn’t interest me. The basketball is the only sport I actually give a shit about and it wasn’t THAT exciting.
But, if it’s on, I’ll watch most of the track a field stuff, the diving, volleyball, ping pong and gymnastics…and that’s about it. I watched some badminton and that shit was pretty interesting.
I think my biggest gripe about the olympics is how they programmed it. Like they’d have fucking men’s water polo on (which, by the way, is the dumbest sport known to mankind) while not showing something else way more interesting. I’d have to go to channel 5 billion to even watch a Team USA basketball game that wasn’t the finals. MEanwhile, they’re running Lithuania vs. Cambodia preliminary matches of water polo on NBC like anyone gives a shit.
I’d say I prefer the summer olympics cause I care less about sports that happen in snow. I’m just not that guy. I’m not EXTREME on any level. I like good old fashioned team sports. Sue me.
Where do you see yourself in 15 years?
Well, I’ll be 50. So, I’d imagine there will be kids involved…a wife. Music? I honestly don’t know. I sure as hell won’t wanna be touring still but I’d like to think I’ll be making music in some form still. Honestly, I’m sort of rooting for the world to end before I even get there anyway.