I recently was talking about a situation with a friend. I’m not ashamed to say this situation was one that taking place on the newest season of the Real World. Okay, I’m a little ashamed to say that but , whatever, it’s too late now.
For those of you who did not see this season (I’m assuming that’s like 98% of the people reading this) let me break it down to you.
Two people in the house hook up. The dude has a “girl” back home that he doesn’t really speak on until after the initial hook up has happened. The girl in the house gets obsessed over the dude and, even after finding out there is someone else, she still pushes ahead in her goal to land this guy.
Now, my case was , in terms of blame, this dude is 100% at fault. I felt that because this girl was informed of a girl back home after they hooked up and , more importantly, she didn’t know that girl personally, it wasn’t really her problem.
My friend , who is a female, felt as though at least some blame should be put upon the shoulders of the “other women” because , even though she didn’t know his girl personally, it’s still not okay to be the other woman knowingly. Not to say that my friend didn’t acknowledge that the dude was mostly to blame, but she felt the girl was getting off easy.
I hope that makes sense to you.
So, here’s my question: Does the “other woman/man” owe anything to the person that is dating the person they’re hooking up with? This is assuming they don’t know that person even on the most acquaintance like level. If that person is a complete stranger, should the “other woman/man” even give a fuck about their feelings?
Now, I felt as though , while there might be karmic retribution (if you believe in that shit), no person is responsible for the feelings of a stranger. Sure, it’s a shitty thing to do and knowingly being the other person is not exactly an awesome way to live your life, but it’s also not your problem. I feel as if the blame falls heavily on the shoulders of the person in the relationship who is cheating. after all, that person is the one who knows all parties involved and that’s also the person who made any of the cheating possible in the first place.
My friend felt that , regardless of not knowing that person, it was still a super shitty thing to do (which I agree with, as i’m not a complete asshole) and , because of that, the other person deserves their fair share of the blame. (I’m sure she will write a much more specific viewpoint in the comments section upon reading this, and that’s fine)
Keep in mind, I’m slightly more sociopathic than my friend. I don’t really have “feelings” and kinda think that everyone is responsible for themselves. My friend is definitely more sympathetic and empathetic than I could ever be. But , my inner arm chair sociologist is curious. I wanna know, what’s your stance? What should ones moral compass be in this situation? I’m doing two polls. One for men and one for women cause I’m interested in how different the two will come out.
So, tell me, who’s to blame in this particular situation…
As an addition, here’s another poll concerning where the blame of cheating should land. This is more obvious to me but, with these polls you never know what crazy shit some of you people out there might think…after all some of you wipe standing up, jerk off dry and think wearing flip flops to bars is okay.