Answers for questions Vol. 104



(^^^^This is the only kind of cat related photo I will ever post here)
Whattup everyone. In about 6 hours I will be on a plane to Europe to do shows for the first time in over 7 years. If you live out there, check it out. While I’m telling you that so some people may come to these shows, I’m also letting all my readers know that, due to this travel, my output this week might be a little all over the place. I’m gonna try to keep up in some manner but if it means I can get a little sleep, I might miss a day or two. But, hey, I’ll try my best. I realize how devastating this much be to you. Just kidding. You don’t give a shit but, hey, if on thursday you’re like “Hmm…how come Blockhead hasn’t posted anything in a few days…” That’s why.
Anyway, this is the answers for questions portion of the blog. So, send me your questions! Email me them to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. Okay. okaaaaaaaay.

I’m not from nyc but I’m taking a girl out on a first date here, I kinda just arrived here and was wondering if you knew any good places to take a girl out on a first date?

This is kinda like asking “I’m going to the beach…are there any good grains of sand I should look for?”. Dude, it’s New York. It’s got a billion restaurants and like half of them are pretty good. It’s also a city with many different neighborhoods so I’d need some more details. It would be easier to tell you where not to go…so I’ll do that.
Avoid midtown manhattan. It’s full of dipshits and crappy tourist restaurants that are strictly there to make midwesterners feel at home. Avoid murray hill, which is a neighborhood on the east side of Manhattan from the streets in 30’s to the mid 20’s. It’s not tourist trap but it does seem to be where a lot of human garbage are attracted to when choosing a destination for a night on the town.
Honestly, I was never one for “dates” but if you’re a traditional guy and she’s a traditional girl (meaning, the “Meet me at a bar, let’s get drunk and eventually stumble to a cab and have sex” date isn’t gonna work) than maybe I’d suggest hitting some of the waterfront areas. Battery park city or dumbo in brooklyn. Those are romantic places you can walk around and hold hands, while staring in each others eyes like this is some lady and the tramp type shit. There are also tons of places to eat around those areas. So, yeah…do that. But, seriously, the meeting at a bar and getting drunk together thing has an unbelievable success rate.

The other day, I held the door open for a woman as common courtesy…but she thought I wanted to hit on her and gave me the eye-roll. And this has occurred numerous times on different occasions…different parts of the city. It’s truly the end of an era when chivalry is frowned on by women. Have you noticed this growing trend?

I’ve more noticed that people in general are generally selfish and rude. I too am the type who holds doors for people. Not cause I’m gentleman, but more cause I wasn’t raised by fucking wolves. Far to often, when I’m holding the door for someone, they’ll just walk by and not even acknowledge that I, a stranger who owes them nothing, was polite enough to hold the door for them, a stranger whom I owe nothing to. It’s infuriating. Even a grunted “thanks” is enough. I haven’t noticed it more with a particular gender though. I will say that old people seem to give less of a fuck in general about door holding etiquette , which is ironic considering they’re really the target group of people who need things opened for them. The other day, I was in a bank and some old dude literally slammed a door right in the face of some women behind him. It was so blatant that people who noticed actually laughed. He noticed it, looked at her and didn’t say a word. It was pretty amazing.

This isn’t a goofy love question, mostly a dumb life question. See, I’ve got an opportunity to get a promotion and transfer down to NYC for work this coming February. Its a big life decision for me as it’ll be the first time I move out of my folks place. But I’m not too worried about that.

My only worry is the place i’ll be moving to – Brooklyn. If television and Hollywood have taught me anything, it’s don’t fuck with Brooklyn.

I guess my question is: should I be worried? Where are the safe neighborhoods to move to? Should I just live outside of Brooklyn somewhere and take a train??

Now as for cost of living, I should be breaking even (I’d be working as a bartender in a super busy restaurant. It’ll be located in Park Slope so you could prolly figure out where I’ll be working, haha). Maybe I just need someone that’s knowledgeable about the subject of living in the city to talk me out of it (or talk me into it). I’m sure my preconceived notions are rubbish. As for the bigger picture, do I plan on living in Brooklyn long? No way. I just need to live in NYC for a year for other career decisions and an entirely different ‘Ask Dr. Tony’ question completely.

Dude, you’re concept of New York is laughably uninformed. I mean, it’s not your fault but it’s not like you’re moving to Detroit. I’m assuming you’re from a very small town or somewhere very desolate cause it sounds like you’ve never been in a major city in your life.
I can’t really get into an entire breakdown of NYC but I’ll let you know that:
1)Brooklyn is fine. Sure , it’s still got it’s rough parts but I’m pretty sure you will not be living there. Brooklyn is pretty much where most NY transplants flock to now. It’s full of baby strollers and artisanal cheese shops. You will be fine.
2)Park slope, in particular, is home to young married couples and lesbians. It’s very nice and not dangerous at all (except a few small areas here and there but, like i said, you won’t be in them). It’s also got like a thousand bars and restaurants so I actually have no idea where you’d be working just based of the fact that you’re working at a bar in Park Slope. I did chuckle to myself at the concept of me being like “Oh, you’re bartending at a bar in park slope? Oh I’m pretty sure I know which one that is…”
3)I feel the need to just clarify something…you seem pretty sure that you will be making enough money to break even and live here but I get the feeling you might not be aware of the cost of living here. On the bright side, you don’t need a car. You can take the train everywhere and it’s mostly safe and effective. However, rent is expensive as fuck….especially if you’re nervous about staying in a decent neighborhood. So, plan on spending AT LEAST $1500 a month. Unless you do some Craigs list shit and find a room somewhere, which is a plausible concept that people do all the time here.

So, yeah, I’d tell everyone to move to New York. I mean, it’s not like any other city in the US and you can’t really understand what it’s going to be like till you’ve been there. But, rest assured, it’s not 1981 and the streets are no filled with junkies and the street gangs from “The Warriors”. You’ll most likely be really safe. Still, don’t be surprised if the city eventually spits you out. It has a tendency to do that to those who, as they say, ain’t about this life.

How did you feel when El-P ended Def Jux?

I saw it coming. I mean, obviously, I had some insider info working so , as it began to come apart, you could see it all taking shape. How i felt? It was unfortunate. They had a great run and put out some amazing music. I’d say it was more a case of the music industry model just not working for independent labels anymore. That’s why, at this point, there’s only like 3 successful indy rap labels still releasing music.
So, yeah, I was bummed but I also wasn’t signed directly to them so it wasn’t like it hurt my career personally.

What was your oppinion of the El-P/Vast Aire/Cage beef/disagreement after Camu passed?

I get asked these kinda questions all the time. So, here’s my answer: I have no fucking idea. I wasn’t involved. I barely even understand what the beefs were exactly about. They were all friends with Camu at one point but, hey, shit happens. I can’t honestly say who did what or why one guy was mad at the other. All I know is that it’s a shame that such negativity had to come after the passing of someone all parties involved cared deeply about.

Block, would I get more/better quality cheeks being friends with Evan Longoria or Eva Longoria?

I feel like i should translate this for my non-city dwelling readers. By “cheeks”, he means “ass” and by “Ass” he means “vagina”…or ass. I suppose that’s up for debate.

Anyway, I would say you’d get way more knowing Evan Longoria. He’s a pro athlete and those dudes go hard in the club. They get some much pussy that there is always a little extra for the tagalongs. They also probably tend to surround themselves with women of…umm…more flexible morals. So that doesn’t hurt either. Assuming evan Longoria isn’t the jealous woman hoarding type, it could work out quite well for a dude.
While it’s possible to get ass by knowing hot women, that’s more of a quality over quantity type thing. A hot girl will hook you up with her friends. In fact having a girl on your side always helps. The only down side is that most girls are not going to just let you run through their entire social circle as it’s a shitty thing to do to their friends.
Also, you never know, maybe Eva Longoria is one of those types of girls who gets all selfish about hooking people up. The type who’s always like “oh, totally! i’ll hook you up with so many girls!” and then she ends up cock blocking you every chance she gets. Who knows…Regardless, I’d ride with Evan on this one.

Hello Blockhead. I was wondering what your thoughts were on boob jobs. I’m in my twenties and was considering going under the knife. Now i’m not talking double D’s here, just something to look at would be enough for me. I’m on the shortish side and skinny, I was one of those girls who got to 16 and realized I wasn’t gunna end up with a rack. It’ s a strange question because I feel like I do my man a disservice as his partner to not have boobs and i’m not getting any younger. I’ve talked with friends and my man but they give me a well trained ‘you’re fine as you are’ with not much else to go on. I also feel like a bourgeois twat for wanting something this shitty.

Boob jobs are stupid. Straight up. Fake tits look gross about 95% of the time and , from what I’ve been told, they feel wack too. The only time I’ve seen them look okay is when a girl who has a little something there already, adds a little something so it at least looks like a real body part you might find on a human. More often than not, though, girls with totally flat chests get them and end up having the same tits a transexual would have. Super tight skin, weirdly shaped and just not appealing to look at. You’re short…so that means you might have a fat ass (in the good way). Go with that. Any dude that’s gonna like a girl cause of her fake tits is not only going to be a terrible sexual partner but he’ll probably give you some std’s as well.
Also, if your boyfriend and friends are telling you you’re fine, quit obsessing over it. We’re all dealt a hand in life. Yours is your worthless titties. Trust me, it could be a lot worse.

18 thoughts on “Answers for questions Vol. 104

  1. Dear Guy moving to Brooklyn, I spit out my coffee a little bit when reading your question. ( yes, new Yorkers do drink tons of it) please let me know which bar you will be working at so that I can come in and open hand slap you across the face. Unless you are hot, in which case I’ll gladly become your official New York City Guide.

  2. man, I was the biggest fan till I started reading your posts and myspace and now I’m more fan of your blog than of your music! hahaha

    it’s nothing good or bad, I still like your beats

  3. Why so much hate on Detroit all the time? As a resident of the motor city (yes, the city, not a suburb) I can tell you that it’s becoming more and more like Brooklyn all the time. Actually, I would argue that Detroit is about 20 years behind Brooklyn as far as gentrification goes, albeit on a much smaller scale. Anyway, just wanted to say it’s nice here. Obviously places you don’t want to go at night, but that’s the case with most large metropolitan areas. Safe travels homie

    • I’m not hating on detroit at all. I’m more just saying it’s a city that’s actually pretty dangerous still…unlike ny or brooklyn. Last time I went there I was told not to walk home three blocks from a venue to my hotel at night. I’m an adult male. That shocked the shit out of me. That alone puts it in a different category than ny. But I certainly was not shitting on detroit in any manner,

      • (haha block sounds like he’s fearing marty might find him and show him those detroit fists! son!) loll

  4. Natural all day!!! I literally can’t watch 95% of the porn out right now because of how disgusting most fake tits look. You can learn a lot from porn. I think this might be a good poll topic.

  5. I’m so sick of entitled women who don’t acknowledge when someone holds the door open for them, and will never hold doors open for someone walking behind them. I just always remind myself, in a few years most of them will be flabby armed, bitter, old cat ladies married to abusive drunks that rather watch football, than get within 5 feet of their dusty cooters. Enjoy the benefits while you can bitches!

      • Doubt he hates women, in fact I’m sure it’s the opposite. Just hating on some self-entitled cunts who contribute mostly nothing to their, or anyone else’s, existence. This goes for dudes as well. In the end though, it’s their own misfortune, not mine.

  6. peoples door holding appreciation has gone to shit, which along with people not knowing how to walk in an urban setting are two of my biggest pet peeves. I dont know if people are worse now or im getting older and grumpier.

  7. Dude moving to Brooklyn; Before you go out and rent a place and sign a lease and shit, you better take a good hard look at how much money you think you will actually be making. I myself bar tend, and the simple fact is; its a fluctuating income. If you think you are going to break even, and live month to month, think again. It only takes a few nights of bad tippers or shitty cash flow through the bar to put you in the red. When considering a place to rent and factoring in your living costs, give yourself at least a %20 cushion. IDK a damn thing about Brooklyn, but I would try to find someplace cheap and short term untill you can at least gauge what type of income you will be having. Also, since this is your first flight from the nest, my biggest advice on living on your own; LEARN TO GROCERY SHOP AND COOK YOUR OWN MEALS. saves major money. Good luck brother!

  8. Worthless titties! Baaaaahahaha!

    Fuck fake tits. For real. Nothing is sexier than a woman who knows how marvelous that fat booty really is.

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