Answers for questions vol. 8


Oh shit! A storms comin’! If you’re like me, on the east coast, you’re either riding a gnarly wave to the supermarket or awaiting hurricane sandy with a cupboard full of rice and beans. To all those out there, good luck…I hope to see you all in a few days when this is over.
anyway, assuming you don’t get washed away (of you don’t live anywhere near where this hurricane is), send me more questions. Email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. Do it. Do it right.

Is it wrong to completely be turned off by someone who listens to shitty music? Being a musician, do you think there needs to be some common ground on musical taste? I was dating a girl who only listened to country music, after a month of being subjected to that, and shitty reality tv (literally that’s all she watches), I had to call it quits. Not to mention she’s a 21 year old virgin, is uber religious and wasn’t dtf. Am I the asshole for having such refined taste?

I’d be way more turned off by the religion than the music taste. At least you can turn music off. I don’t think sharing musical tastes is crucial to relationships but it doesn’t hurt. It’s cool to be able to turn your girl onto cool music and vice versa but, at the same time, the last thing I’d ever want in a relationship is a girl who wants to talk about rap with me all day. That would be torture.
I’d say, Ideally, you and girl should share some taste but ultimately are into some different shit. Like if she likes classic rock and you like hip hop…that’s fine. Country music might be stretching it though and that girl you dated sounds more like a case of her being a fucking moron than her simply having bad taste in things.

So I am a big fan of both Anthony Burgess’s book and Stanley Kubrick’s adaptation “A Clockwork Orange.” I recently watched it with my older sister who is 24 and was bothered by the fact that she could only view the film as “disturbing and detestable.” She was mostly reacting to Alex Delarge’s “Ultraviolence” when him and his gang of toothless grinning bulldogs took to the streets, But I still find it irritating that she could not identify any of the underlying concepts the movie was trying to present. So I guess my question is do you think A Clockwork Orange has relevant concepts? and do you like personally? I also want to say that Alex Delarge might be the greatest charismatic villain ever.

I’m a big fan of that movie. And, instead of answer your question about it’s theme (as it seems like a film class test question and I honestly haven’t seen the movie recently enough to get that deep into it) I’d just like to comment more on the problem you’re speaking on where people can’t separate being disturbed by a movie and the quality of the film itself. One of my sisters is like that and it’s drives me insane. We’ll see an obviously well made movie and she’ll say it’s awful cause it made her feel uncomfortable…when that’s what it was supposed to do!
I saw “The Master” recently. I left kinda confused. I didn’t love it, had no urge to ever watch it again but I was also well aware that it was a very well made movie with some great performances in it. It sounds to me that your older sister is a lot like my older sister. My advice would be to simply learn to never discuss movies with her cause you will be infuriated constantly.

Do you collect a bunch of samples (like loops) and save them till it’s beat making time, or do you dig through different records during the beat making process?
I used to do it the latter way but , over the last 5 years I’ve organized my sampling much more cause I gotta keep track of what I use. Nowadays, I go through all the albums I have, mark off the songs that have possible samples on them, mark what the samples are (what instruments), if they’ve drums in them, and if they’re the type of sample I might use as a main part or a layer. Then, when I sit down to make a beat, I sift through them and just find things I might need. For instance, say I have a foundation laid and I need something to layer over the main sample, I’ll find anything with horns in it and go through those sounds. It’s definitely some OCD shit but it’s made beat making so much more efficient for me.

Thoughts on straight dudes with a very gay sense of humor. What I mean by that is my two best friends and I have always been very close, and often find it funny to talk about how hard we would blow each other if x happens, if you do this I’m gonna do that to your ass, nut shots, ass grabbing, texting pics of gay dudes fucking etc. We are all straight, and have no actual interest in fucking each other. Is that a common theme among guys?

Hmm…well, i think that , especially with white dudes, inside gay jokes are fairly normal. But I think there is a line where it’s just kinda weird. Like saying crazy shit to each other is pretty typical. Nut shots are less normal but not unusual. Ass grabbing? Hmmm….I don’t know about that. Do you also wrestle naked and laugh hysterically while you put each others penises in your mouths?
But , really, i draw the line with the texting of gay porn. I get texting each other ridiculous pictures that may be gross but just a normal scene pic from a gay porn? I don’t know what the point of that is.
So, to answer your question, i think elements of what you and your friends do are very normal but the lengths that you guys take it is not. Don’t be surprised if one of you guys comes out down the line and the rest of you feel like you’ve been takn advantage of. Props to that guy , though. He got you motherfuckers good.

Dear Readers Spoiler Alert if you haven’t caught up with Boardwalk Empire end of Season 2 Dear Block ,what is you’re opinion on Jimmy being killed? And now bringing in this Self Asphyxiation crazed lunatic as the new criminal mind trying to be Boss?

I thought killing jimmy was a strong move. I like the direction that HBO has been going with their shows lately where no one is sacred. As for the new villain, I fucking love him. Gyp is the best. He’s hilarious, over the top and slightly dumb. All those things make for a far more interesting character than Jimmy ever was, in my opinion.

What’s your take on married couples in their 30′s with young kids who always go out to clubs together every weekend, and asking grandparents or babysitters to always watch their kids? Are these people not being responsible parents, or should they be given a break because it’s just what they enjoy doing?

I’m at that age where I have a good amount of friends who have young kids. You know what they don’t do? Go clubbing. I mean, to each his own but , it would appear, that most responsible people have a switch get flicked once they have kids that tells them the partying is over. This isn’t to say they can never go out. In fact, when they cut loose, they REALLY cut loose. But this can’t be a regular thing. for one, they’re too tired all the time but, more importantly, the desire to live that lifestyle is no longer there. We all like to party but once you are responsible for the life of another, that shit’s got to take a back seat. I think that’s an unspoken part of having a kid. A life choice adults make when they decide to bring a person into this world. It’s different for young parents but for parents in their 30’s? It’s not a good look.
I often tweet little things about young moms at the club and , without fail, a few people will get defensive about how they can balance those lifestyles. My point in all this is not that you can’t but more that you shouldn’t really have an urge to. You got a kid now. Get your fucking life together. Doing molly at a club till 6 am is now something you USED to do. Now go feed your crying child, you piece of shit.

More Animals eating animals

I wrote these clips up a few weeks ago (peep it HERE)and the final two installments have been posted. In case you missed it, this is a show where two adventurous eaters go around NYC eating shit that might make you not hungry…or it might give you a cuisine boner. I’m a big fan of eating and shows about eating and these clips are really cool and well made. Figured I’d spread the word in hopes that these shorts become a full fledged show one day. pass it on, yo!

Animals Eating Animals: Episode 5 from ANIMALNewYork.com on Vimeo.

Animals Eating Animals: Episode 6 from ANIMALNewYork.com on Vimeo.

Song of the day 10/26/12


Down and Out By Cam’ron
http://www.divshare.com/download/20202880-855

Last week I went on Cam’ron listening binge. I dunno what made it happen but his music had a renaissance in my Ipod.
I’d say there are a few ways to look at Cam. He’s either straight up great OR awesomely ridiculous and hilarious, both on purpose and accidentally OR he’s terrible . Now, when the people who feel the latter way are confronted with any of his music words like “real hip” and “Boom bap” seem to get thrown around as a way to disprove Cam’s worth as an MC. In my eyes, that’s a shame. Not cause Cam is the next coming of Rakim but cause those people who write him off are overlooking some of the facets that make a rapper great that Cam has more than his share of. Sure, he may not rap thought provoking lyrics with an intricate flow but he’s got presence, confidence , and an abstract creativity like few other rappers before or after him. It’s a shame that his topics and viewpoints are such a turn off to some cause I feel as if people are missing out. His run of music in the early 2000’s was awesome. Highly ignorant, negatively influential to all the rappers around him but awesome nonetheless.
He literally had little kids in the hood wearing huge pink t-shirts. CAM POPULARIZED PINK AS A COLOR CHOICE FOR MEN. He was gaudy, obnoxious, over the top and everything else…but , more than anything, he was clever. This song is my favorite example of that. It’s a album track off his peak achievement “Purple haze”. I was planning to write out some quotes on here but there are so many I don’t even know where to start.
Yes, many of you will not like this. Some of you might even be offended by it. I get it, you’re most likely fans of my music. It’s not like I have much in common with Killa Cam musically. I just ask you listen to it with an open mind. Also, the last 2 verses are pretty much two of my favorite verses he ever kicked.

Fuck/Marry/Kill 16


What up. It’s about that time again where I pretend to fuck, marry and kill people are are far more rich and famous than I will ever be. Payback? Not really. Just a really fun way to pass time. As always, take it with a grain of salt and know I don’t really want to marry or kill any of these people. I’d fuck a few of them though…

F/M/K: Kristen Stewert, Condoleeza Rice, Betty White

Kill: Betty White

I mean…come on. The whole world loves Betty White. She’s somehow made it back into the public eye at age 142 and that’s great. But in a game of F/m/k? Her dying would just be the slightest acceleration of the process ever. She’s pretty much there already. This is a slam dunk of murder , if there ever was one.

Fuck: Condoleeza Rice

This was actually harder than it should of been. On one hand, you got Kristen Stewart who is obviously the hottest of these three and she’s also the youngest by like 5 decades. But I kinda hate her face…At the same time, I don’t exactly want to marry or fuck Condoleeza. So, in this case, I’m taking the short term bullet and throwing it in Condo once. Which isn’t that bad cause she’s what you’d consider an attractive older women. But often that means “She’s good looking for someone I’m not attracted to in the slightest bit due to how old they are”. So, a one and done with her would have to do.

Marry: Kristen Stewart

Pretty obvious. She may be an awful person (I have no idea, I just know she’s an actress so there’s a very good chance that’s true) but she’s head and shoulders above either of these other two in all physical categories. If this was fuck/Bake me a pie/kill or /fuck/explain how a white house meeting works/kill it would be a different story, but I’m afraid I’m always gonna have to go with the sure thing where marriage is concerned. Besides, I’d cheat on her with no qualms cause she totally has it coming.

Arianna Huffington, Rachel Maddow, and Katie Couric.

Marry:Rachel Maddow

I’mma let you guys who always submit lesbians to this game in on a little secret, I’ll almost always pick the lesbian for marriage. Why? Well, for one, I get along great with most lesbians. But , more importantly, marrying a lesbian would basically just be like having a new roommate and I would simply live my life out as a single guy. When faced with the other two options, it’s a no brainer. Rachel and I would live a long and loving life of passing each other in the living room saying “What up!” as we both went our own ways and did whatever the fuck we wanted.

Fuck: Katie Couric

There’s not a bone(r) in my body that wants to really wants to have sex with Katie Couric (Young Couric though was probably hooooooot)but between her and the woman with the accent like a nazi movie villain (I realize she’s not german , calm down), it’s not a hard choice. Couric isn’t unattractive at all. She’s simply a little past her prime. So, sure, I think I could do that. I’m pretty sure the sex would be pretty lame but , hey, it wouldn’t be the first time. Not to mention, the after sex interview would be intense.

Kill: Arianna Huffington

I actually kinda like her and 30 years ago, I’d bet she was pretty hot. But, to be honest, she’s just too old and her accent doesn’t hit my ears right. I’ve never been a guy who was into girls cause of their accents. I barely can handle someone with a midwest twang, let alone someone with a vaguely greek/german sounding one. I mean, there are certain types of accents that are sexier than others but, unfortunately, hers sounds like someone who would aggressively sell me Baklava on the street. So, my apologies to her and RIP.

F/M/K Funny chicks named Jen style: Jenna Marbles, Jenny McCarthy, Jennifer Aniston.

Fuck: Jennifer Aniston

Sorry, I just watched “Horrible bosses” the other day and Aniston’s body is completely out of control. She was made for the “fuck” portion of this game. She was also made to never be married so that’s there too. Seriously, I realize she must work out like a maniac 7 days a week but , holy shit, has it paid off. She’s over 40!!!! She’s what a mother of two in her mid 30’s must look at and make that women just want to kill her. Fortunately for Jen, this is my game of F/m/k and not that mother of two.

Kill: Jenny MCcarthy

This was a tough one. There was a time (namely my late teens) when Jenny MCcarthy was the end all of hot women. I had her playboy issues, I watched “Single’d out” and I even stick by my guns in saying her short lived MTV sketch comedy show was actually pretty decent. That said, it’s clear that I’m an agist. She’s still pretty hot but she’s not quite keeping up with Aniston (who at that age is ,though?). And I don’t really wanna marry her as she’s kinda crazy. So, it’s with great sadness that I would be forced to put her down.

Marry: Jenna Marbles

This could go terribly but I’m rolling the dice with Marbles. For one, she’s younger. Secondly, she’s somewhat funny. Those two things work well for me in this equation. What doesn’t work well is that she’s got a thick midwestern accent. But, I’d imagine I could get over that. Also, Funny girls are often not very sexy but I can’t really call it with her. But i do appreciate a girl who doesn’t take herself too seriously so I’d pretty much just cross my fingers and hope for the best with this one.
I realize many of you have no clue who this person is, so here’s a taste:

Hmm..upon watching this video…I think I made a mistake with this choice…but whatever…

F/m/k: “I’m Bad” LL Cool J, “Deep Blue Sea” LL Cool J, “NCIS” LL Cool J

Kill: NCIS LL Cool J

For off, let me say this is one of those metaphorical rounds. I’m not fucking or marrying any version of LL Cool J but I think whoever submitted this wanted me to review these three stages of LL’s life in an abstract way. So this is that.
Obviously, I’m killing off the actor that is LL cool J. He sucks at acting. He always has, he always will. He make Ice-T look like Daniel Day Lewis. Sorry bro…I wish someone had killed his acting career years ago.

Marry: I’m bad LL cool J

Obviously. This was LL when had slightly matured from his “radio” days and took that next big step. He was a force to be reckoned with back then and , even crazier, he had another good 6 or so years after this. That’s longer than most marriages.

Fuck: Deep Blue Sea LL Cool J

Quite possibly the worst song and video of all time. So much so, that it laps around being bad into simply being hilarious. For that reason, I’d have sex with it. I have many fond memories of clowning this song and video when i was younger and , by all means, I would make love to those thoughts. Also, it’s the basis for one of my favorite unmade parody songs. The hook on his song goes “Deepest, bluest, my hat is like a sharks fin” and I always wanted to make “Cheapest, jewish, my penis has no foreskin”.
Weird Al, if you’re reading, go nuts with that one.

The soft “a” is crucial

all-i-said-was-nigga_o_1364965
As a white dude who is a rap fan, I’ve always had a strange relationship with the word “nigga”. Not to be confused with it’s cousin word with a harder “r” sound ,with whom I’ve had a much more defined relationship with. Obviously, we’ve never been close.
But with “nigga” ,I’ve never been one to use it. It just never felt right coming out of my mouth. Aside from the more obvious social reasons, I don’t speak with a particularly affected twang so to say something like “Yo, nigga, could you please pass me the soy sauce” wouldn’t really make sense or benefit anything. Besides, even if i were to harmlessly indulge in saying it, you never know who you’re going to accidentally offend by doing so. It just never seemed worth it.
That said, over the course of my life it has been a word that I’ve heard with great frequency. Both in music and in life. So i figured it would be fun to look back at some funny moments with that word and how it relates to a fairly normal , yet self aware white dude from a city.

1)The first time I got called a nigga
Blame my bohemian upbringing or being from a melting pot type city but I literally didn’t hear a white person refer to a black person in a derogatory fashion (in person) until I left New York. It wasn’t till I went to school in Boston that i heard someone refer to a black guy as a “nigger” and mean it. It was done in such a matter of fact way I was just kinda speechless. It was also done in that bitch ass , wink wink, nudge nudge kinda way as if to say “Hey, we’re both white here, right?”.
As clearly as i remember that moment with great disdain, I’ll never forget the first time a black guy called me “nigga” with great fondness.
As a young rap white rap fan in the early 90’s, there wasn’t much happening to make us feel good about ourselves (and rightfully so…after all, we were white). The beastie boys and 3rd bass were the beginning and end of it. Not to mention, it was a time period when a good deal of my favorite rap was highly afrocentric/pro-black. Groups like X-Clan, Poor righteous Teachers, King Sun and even the friendly Native tongue crew all wore africa medallions and spoke of things that I , as a white guy, could only examine from outside the bubble. So suffice to say, I looked at these guys with great admiration but also with an understanding that I’d never truly be like them no matter how hard i tried. I’d like to think most white kids my age during that time had that revelation but judging from how most of the kids I went to high school acted, they didn’t figure it out until they were in their twenties.
So, realizing that I could never really be down, i simply didn’t try too hard. I just listened to the music fiendishly and that was that. Still, that want to be accepted never really died.
One day, I was walking down the street with a basketball , on my way to the park to go shoot around. I was passing by west 4th street (which is a highly populated area in greenwich village). Out of the sea of bodies I heard someone saying “ay yo nigga! Yo…Nigga!”. It sounded like it was aimed at me but, obviously, that wouldn’t make much sense so I kept moving.
“Yo, nigga! Yo, white boy with that basketball!” I turned around.
“Lemme see that ball for a second”.
I was kind of in shock. I hope I didn’t but I may have been making a face like someone being picked as a pageant winner. On some “You mean MEEEEE?!?!?!” shit. He was a slightly bummy looking black dude in his early 30’s who was sitting in a fold out beach chair he had placed on the side of the street. Seemed harmless enough so I tossed him the ball. He stood up, dribbled it for 5 seconds and threw it back to me.
“Good looking out, nigga”
and that was that.
I remember walking towards the courts feeling like I was slightly different. Like i had passed a authenticity test or something. In hindsight, I was far from special as I imagine that guy is the type to call inanimate objects nigga but still, at that time, I was on cloud 9.

2)Mcdonalds
I don’t know if this will translate when written out but I’mma give it a shot.
I was about 19 and high as a person could be. My 4 friends and I had smoked a few blunts and were now floating around the city like the walking dead in search for any food we could stuff in our high mouths. We landed at a McDonalds…which was fine as I was 19 and ate that kinda shit like 4 times a week. High as hell, we all lined up and ordered food the only way high people do. Slowly and like complete fucking idiots. The girl behind the counter was a portly Puerto rican lady in her early 20’s who was obviously amused with the looming group of stoned white guys. We were actually chatting her up a bit and , seemingly, made a new friend. As the order came to a close , all our food was bagged up and ready to go when she said “Oh, Yall niggas want sauce?”
Again, we were SO high. As soon as that sentence came out of her mouth we all just kinda looked at each other like “did she really just refer to us as “niggas”?” That same excitement I felt when that dude in the lawn chair had said it to me was palpable in the room. This was followed by 5 stoned people trying to contain laughter while also trying to procure some of that delicious sauce she was offering. We politely accepted and got out of there as soon as possible so we could guffaw hysterically. To this day, any time I go into a McDonalds or am with any of those friends from that night, that sentence still runs through my head.

3) So puerto ricans can say it?
That was the thought i had the first time I heard a Puerto rican dude say “nigga” without flinching. It was in front of black dudes who didn’t flinch as well. I remember thinking “Why do they get a pass”? It’s safe to so that I was pretty young at the time and didn’t understand a lot of things.
That’s how I learned, in many cases, the people who use it aren’t always about race as they are about location. If you’re black and I’m dominican and we grew up in the same hood with the same friends using that word , it’s just gonna become a part of the vernacular. Teenaged me would have tried to rationalize that it’s wrong of them to say it but, really, who gives a shit? I would never want to take that gift away from the likes of Fat Joe and Beatnuts. And I’d say that same privilege extends to white dudes who grew up around minorities who used the word with great frequency. At least, from what I’ve seen it has.

4)The first time I heard a white dude say “Nigga”.

It’s slightly more common now to hear a white guy say that word. At least in certain circles. But 15 years ago, it wasn’t a thing white guys did. And if they did do it, they did it selectively and with an air of discomfort. Like they so desperately want to be down enough to say it but , deep down, in their hearts they know they probably shouldn’t be saying it.
Around 97/98, I met this dude. I don’t wanna say his real name, as we are still buddies, so let’s call him Bob. Upon first glance, Bob was a wigger of Danny Hoch proportions. Like he was a cartoon version of a wigger. Just being in a room with him, I heard him dropping “Nigga” a dozen times over the course of an hour. But he was doing it amongst a very racially mixed crowd with a comfort level I had never seen before. I had just seen him out a few times , as he was friends with some friends of mine but my initial reaction was that he was a clown.
Flash to a few weeks later and we’re actually hanging out. Turns out, he’s not only an intelligent guy but he’s also hilarious and genuinely good person. This blew my mind. He was a little younger than me but hearing a white guy shamelessly say “nigga” without pulling back was some next level shit. I didn’t really agree with it but I couldn’t help but admire his balls (pause).
Now whether you think it’s right or wrong for any white guy to throw that word around is on you. I certainly understand how that could rub all sorts of people the wrong way. But , much like the girl at McDonalds and the guy in the lawn chair, a lot of how we should accept words is in the intention of how they’re used. Basically, what I’m saying is that it’s okay to be offended by this kinda thing but don’t ever become one of those assholes who overlooks context and intent of how words are used. Bob meant no harm. It was just a word that got engrained in his vocabulary. For better or worse.

5)Overhearing people use the word “nigga” is the best Not to be confused with overhearing people use the word” Nigger” which is the worst…

These are a few things I’ve tweeted in the past after just overhearing people say thing literally like 5 feet from the door of my home:
“I love that I can walk 2 steps out of my building & overhear a guy call his friend an “easy bake oven ass nigga”. New York is the best.”

“Just overheard the sentence “yo, but this nigga DR. Phil got next though”. Trying to imagine a context where that statement makes sense.”

6)”Nigga” is anything
There are different levels of the way people use that word. Obviously WHO is using it is very important so let’s just assume, for these examples, I’m referring to non-whites using this word.
To some, it’s only used to get a point across like “You better give me back my game of thrones box set or there’s gonna be trouble, nigga!”
To others, it’s completely off limits.
But to others, it’s as engrained in their vocabulary as the word “Like” is for valley girls. It can be referring to a table “I banged my knee on that nigga the other day and it still hurts”. It can be referring to a female. Anyone who’s seen porn where the dude is calling the girl he’s fucking “nigga” can attest to that. However, my favorite of all is when it’s referring to animals. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a flock of sheep in europe and heard a dude say “look at all those niggas go…”. As offensive as this word can be to some people, to others it simply means anything. But, more directly, it means a person. I’ve been called a “white nigga” more times than I can count and , in all those situations, it wasn’t used negatively or positively. It was simply a description. As in, we’re playing basketball , I’m the only white guy and a guy on the other team tells his teammate to guard “that white nigga”. 16 year old me would be in heaven over the entire exchange but , in reality, it meant nothing. It’s just a word some people use. The only confusion about it, really, is who can and cannot use it. Clearly, I’m not the judge and jury for that case. No one person is. Thus, I suppose , it’s just on a person to person basis. But, whatever you do, always remember to never drop it with the hard “R”. I’m looking at you Mitt Romney.

Answers for questions vol. 107


What up. Welcome to another edition of that thing where i answer that question you have. Will it ever end? I hope not. I need the blog content. Speaking of which, send me more questions. Leave them in the comments below or email me them at phatfriendblog@gmail.com. Don’t be shy. I’m an open book (mostly).
Anyway, here’s this weeks batch. The last one officially wins the award for dumbest question ever. But as there are no bad questions, well done, sir.

A few months back I saw you Tweet with Aesop about a David Blaine experience you had back in the day. It sounded like he kinda freaked you out which is understandable b/c that dude is a fucking weirdo. When I saw your funny David Blaine Facebook post this morning it reminded me to ask what happened when you met him?

Oh. Okay, this was so long ago I was still rapping. So we’re talking like 97ish. My group, The Overground, was playing a show at some now closed shithole venue on Houston St. called “The Spiral”. Our shows would go one of two ways: We’d play for 7 people or we’d play for like 30. The Spiral was tiny enough that 30 seemed like a great night. Regardless of how many people were there, we always sucked and the whole area in front of the stage would be cleared out like a murder scene. Anyway, this one night, we had one of our more well attended shows. My boy Chase Phoenix would rap on a few of our songs so he was usually in attendance. He knew this dude Cassidy who was good friends with an “up and coming magician” named David Blaine. Now, hearing someone being referred to as an “up and coming magician” was as comical as it sounds. None of us had any idea who he was but you can be sure we all thought that concept of a dude who’s blowing up off card tricks was about as cool as that up and coming librarian we had been hearing so much about.
We did the show. It went as well as that crap could have gone I guess. Afterwards, everyone was chilling by the bar getting drunk. And Blaine was walking around the room doing card tricks for people. I was rolling my eyes from afar cause, you know, it’s fucking card tricks. He seemed to be doing really well with them though as people (especially girls) were quite fascinated by this up and coming star of the dark arts.
Eventually, he comes to where I’m sitting with a few people and asks if we wanna see a trick. We all say yes and he began doing tricks to each person who was there. I gotta admit, I was somewhat impressed as they were not the typical “guess my card” bullshit. He got to me and I’m sure my face still read as skeptical. In fact, I distinctly recall sharing a silent moment of him looking at me and vice versa wher ethere’s no way he couldn’t read my expression as anything but “Okay bro, do your little card trick for me”. He handed me an unopened deck of cards (still in the wrapper) and said in his monotone voice “Think of a card…but not the ace of spades. That’s what everyone thinks of…”
So, I thought of something random like the 5 of clubs. He then told me to unwrap the pack and hand it back to him and adamantly told me not to tell anyone what card I was thinking of. Instead, write it down on a piece of napkin and hold onto it myself. I did so , making sure to hide what I was writing from anywhere he could possibly see it. I was definitely trying my hardest to not make his trick go over. I handed him back the pack and he flipped open the cardboard top. He didn’t remove the cards. He just held it open there staring at me with those weird ass raccoon eyes of his. He then flicked the bottom of the card case and one card popped up. Yup. It was my fucking card. The joy he must have felt to see my smug, non-believing ass face change to “Wait a second…get the fuck outta hereeeeeee!”.
Suffice to say, since that day, I’ve been convinced that if Jesus ever came back, he’d probably be a magician.

I really appreciate your point of view and music. That being said, I could use some perspective.
I recently (past two years) just flipped a bitch with my life. I went from studying art and percussion and devoting my free time to everything related, to working for land conservation agencies and studying Wildlife Ecology. I literally have done a 3 mile hike to remove a barbed wire fence from a sensitive ecosystem while wearing chucks. Anyways. It’s safe to say that I love the outdoors and I can kick it out of my tent for pretty long periods of time (5 months being the longest) but all of my artistic ability has suffered. My paradiddles are starting to sound like a person trying to masturbate with a broken hand. Before I was doing pretty well in school, probably because liberal arts papers can be bull shited and lab reports cannot, and now I’m struggling with the first fraction of my semester. I regularly question whether or not I should do what comes natural (reading art blogs, drinking coffee, and playing music) or do what I believe the world needs (also have a guarantee of a salary from the National Parks Service..) Should I just (wo)man-up and do it all?

As a musician, I will tell you that it’s very hard to procure a future making music. Because of that, I will always advise a person to do the other thing. Whatever it is. It could be saving the world or it could be working in an office where you get health insurance. Stability is underrated and hard to come by these days. The thing about art is that it’s always there. If you do it cause you love it, though you may get rusty, you can always pick it up again. Ideally, you could get on a career path and that will open up time for you to do both. So, my advice would be to save the world now and do art later. To be honest, both can be pretty fruitless and frustrating but at least you can make enough money to eat a few meals a day when you’re saving the world.
That’s not a given with art and music. Just ask every waiter you know.

Mister Blockhead
I am a New Zealander.
Apparantly many people believe New Zealand is a place where sheep=automobile, singlet and gumboots=well dressed and grass paddock=nightclub.
My questions: have you ever been to New Zealand? and if you had a choice, would you rather be picked up from Auckland airport and taken to a venue in Downtown Auckland, to perform to a crowd of humans with differing levels of wideness in the eye area, wearing jeans of assorted bagginess, OR ride a sheep to a paddock, to do a show stemming from a multi-box plugged in a cow milking shed, infront of some drunken farmers wearing singlets and gumboots somewhere between Taupo and Turangi?

I have never been to New Zealand. Though I hear it’s very nice there. I have been to Australia though, and I loved it (I know New Zealanders hate when you add that on to this question but I couldn’t resist).
As for the question, the obvious choice is the first one. I don’t think I’ve ever been put in a situation where I’ve been forced to play for local farmhands but I can’t imagine it would go over too well. What kind of music do they even listen to? In my mind, that music involves the sounds of rubberbands being pulled and maybe syncopated pig slaughter.

So I have a question that you have touched on briefly, but it would be great if you could greatly elaborate on the subject. As much as possible anyway. At one point you had mentioned your position on people charging artists to record them, master their tracks, produce beats, etc etc and how you didn’t think anyone had any business charging until either side was making some money at doing so. Well I’ve been trying to get something recorded lately, and have spoken to a few people about it and all of them have basically asked me if I am prepared to pay them for it. I find this hilarious because none of them that I have really inquired about recording me have proper studios, and don’t really have any significant following. Granted they may record themselves and have some DECENT recording, but its not like they are pulling worthwhile crowds or are known to any significant extent. Basically, I want you to go at this subject, if you would. From all the angles: MC’s, Producers, Mixing/Mastering, Studio Time, you name it… I would like you to comment on all of it since you make a living off of music. So are these assholes out of their minds or what? Everyone thinks they are worth money because they have USB mics and some kind of platform to record on, and its time this shit got set straight cause its getting out of hand. Please, let these fuckers know.

Yes, I’m just buying a mic and recording myself but the reason I wanted to get recorded by someone else is it would be nice to cultivate a relationship with someone who’s work I have faith in and work on stuff together but as soon as one of these boobs (yes, I said boob, because I feel like that is more insulting then the overused douche bag) tries to charge me for their unproven skills, I laugh in their fucking face and remind them they are no one special and probably never will be if they are trying to charge people that are on the same level as them, neither of which are making any REAL money yet from music.

Man, that question could have been like one paragraph…people reading this, use this as a “how not to” question. Just make your point and get tot the heart of the matter.
To answer it,
The only reason you shouldn’t have to pay people to do studio work is if they’re your friends. If you’re using them for a service, you pay them for that service. The only exception is using peoples beats. Some producers will just give beats away cause it’s no big deal and it can’t hurt. I think that’s where you misunderstood my initial point. To be clear:
If two people are both equally not famous, I don’t see a point in either of them charging each other for music. Be it the rapper or the producer. Friend of acquaintance. That’s called collaborating. It’s also the most efficient way to get these types of things done. If the producer has a studio and you’re using his beats, i’d say it’s not crazy to expect to do it for free as you’re both involved.
However,
If this is about recording, mixing or any of the laborious aspects of making music, and that person isn’t you’re close buddy (and isn’t involved in the creative process), then you gotta pay. Some people may be cool about not taking money as it’s just experience but you can’t expect that. That said, if they’re just some dude with protools and a mike, it should be pretty fucking cheap.

this is mostly a food related question, or series of questions. i’m from chicago, and we put giardiniera on everything pretty much. i went to philly, and asked for giardiniera on my bmt at subway and they looked at me like i was crazy. or speaking a foreign language, which i guess i was. but no one else in philadelphia knew what i was talking about. so my (first) question is, with nyc being guido as fux, do you have/know what giardiniera is? or is this so called italian topping another chicago ethnic creation like the italian beef or jibaritos. in which case i feel sorry for the world. second question, why the hell would you put saurkraut on a hot dog? ew. or is that just a myth.

First off, Nyc is far from guido as fux. Manhattan, itself, is pretty much devoid of that type in general. Almost all the guido’s you might see here are exported from the outer boroughs , jersey and long island. That said , I’m not italian and don’t know what goes on in that world so there’s a good chance they know what that shit is.
I have never heard of Giardiniera. The fact you were able to spell it right in the question so many times is actually really impressive. I’m sure it delicious though cause you chicago heads are no joke when it comes to making heart stopping yet tasty spin offs of sausage.

As for the saurkraut , some people do that. I don’t…but many other do. But don’t you guys no put ketchep and mustard on your hot dogs? That’s crazy talk right there. That shit is delicious.

Yo Block! Have you ever considered what would you do if you were gay? Please specify two scenarios:
1. still working in music industry: would you make country, dubstep, be in a boysband or something else?
2. non-music industry: would you be hair-stylist, work in fashion industry, sell hot-dogs ot sth else?

Man, not a day goes by when I don’t consider life as a gay man. Think of all the perks!

Seriously though, this may be the dumbest question I’ve ever gotten (I’m not even mad about it though cause i appreciate every question i get). I mean, holy shit dude…have you met a gay person before? They aren’t like a different species of human. Yu might as well have asked me what I’d do if I was a dog for a day.
So, to answer your questions:
1)Because there is no way on earth a gay person could make the kind of music I make,obviously, I’d be in a band that’s music is made up entirely of the sound pounding assholes. It would be a chorus of skin slapping and deep, guttural grunts. Perhaps I’d be the Fred Schneider of the group and just scream little catch phrases in the background.

2) I don’t think I’d work. I’d just sit around thinking of all the hot boys I wanna have sex with. I mean, how do gay people ever work jobs when there are soooooo many hot guys out there? I bet walking down the street is hell for them…boners everywhere. Gays…how do they do it? Because of this, I’d probably stay indoors all day. Maybe knitting or baking tiny cupcakes. If not for any other reason then to quell my deep, dark uncontrollable gay urges.

(I shouldn’t have to clarify that I’m kidding here but you’d be amazed how often people don’t “get” the most obvious shit…Just preempting the “blockhead is a homophobe!” backlash from that one person out there who doesn’t understand how jokes work.)

Song of the day 10/19/12


Can U feel Me? By Saafir
http://www.divshare.com/download/19976361-8f6

When I first heard Saafir, I was listening to Casual’s “Fear itself” album. His one verse song “That’s bullshit” pretty much bodied the entire album (which is saying a lot considering how good that album is). Back then, this is how new artists were often introduced. They’d be given a verse or a short song on another artists album and all their fans would be put on to the next big thing. It happened with Jeru, it happened with Nas, and Saafir was no different.
I can honestly say Saafir is one of those rappers that has never sounded like anyone. Even to this day. I don’t think people even really bit him enough to create a sub genre of Saafir like rappers (like people did with Freestyle Fellowship). He was truly a one of a kind type of rapper.
His debut album “Boxcar Sessions” dropped in 1994 and I think it threw a lot of people off. It was just so out there that I’d guess a lot of people didn’t know what to think. Think of a west coast version of “Tical” but with extremely abstract rapping. Granted, there are also people out there who consider it one of the better albums of that era but I’d say ,more often than not, people were kinda scratching their heads when they initially heard it. Luckily, it was also an album that, when you went back to it a year or two later, it made more sense.
This song, in particular was always a standout track to me. It’s a lot less aggressive than many of the songs on the album. Perhaps that’s why it jumped out to me upon first listen. Whatever the case, check it out and if you’ve never peeped “Boxcar Sessions”, get familiar with it.

Demo reviews vol. 9


It’s about that time again. Time for me to listen to the demo’s you people have sent me and tell you what I think. I promise to be nothing but honest. But, for many of you, that’s not a good thing. So much so that if you receive a rating of 7/10 in any category, consider your song the best thing I’ve ever heard.
As always, DO NOT SEND ME MORE DEMO’S RIGHT NOW. When I need them, I’ll let you know. I will say that that time is coming soon as a few of the saved files (where I kept all the entries on my computer) I had have been corrupted so in a few weeks or soi’ll be asking for new submissions. But, you know, don’t send me anything now cause I’m a stickler for rules and I won’t even listen to that shit.
If you’ve never seen this on my blog before, it’s very simple. Every artist/group sends me one song. I then listen to it once, , do a short write up and then rate it in a bunch of categories.
The categories are based on a 1-10 rating for the following
Production:
Vocals(if applicable):
Listenability:
Originality:

Pretty simple and effective. I just ask you not to be butt hurt if I don’t love your music. Don’t feel bad. 99% of music is pretty terrible. It’s par for the course.
Let’s go…

Artist:Titanium50
Song:Nodda

http://soundcloud.com/titanium50/nodda

It started out like i was gonna turn into a dubstep song so I was glad that didn’t happen. That said, the direction it goes is just kinda strange. I’m very on the fence about all that shit that comes in around 1:04. On one hand, it’s interesting but it doesn’t exactly sound awesome. So, depending what the artist is going for it’s either a success or a misstep. The drum are cool though.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals(if applicable):N/A
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:5.5 out of 10

Artist:Rook513
Song:Wolfs head

http://soundcloud.com/rook513/wolfs-head

This is some straight up 96 underground kinda shit. I used to get sent all sorts of demo’s back then of stuff just like this. Not cause I wanted demo’s to review but cause I was a nerd who wanted obscure music. Anyway, this is okay. The beat is mixed kinda funny but could have been really dope with some tinkering. The rapping is pretty average. Not bad at all..but there’s nothing much to it. And the vocals sound like they were recorded on a four track in the mid 90’s. A little tightening of the screws on this one woulda helped.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals(if applicable):4 out of 10
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist:Mcoradi
Song:German

http://soundcloud.com/mcoradi/german
This is music to be asleep during. It might put you to sleep but you’re better off just being asleep the whole time. I get the vibe and all but the weather sound effects are just kinda overkill. At the same time, it’s far from offensive so, in the sense, it’s actually fairly listenable. The only problem with that is that it’s the type of music you forget is on and you could hear a whole album of it and not know the songs changed.
Production:3 out of 10
Vocals(if applicable):N/A
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:2 out of 10

Artist: Salty Prem
Song: Traveling Salesmen

http://soundcloud.com/saltyprem/traveling-salesmen

Listen…I realize I open these demo reviews up to everyone but some of you need to realize that sending me stuff like this is just pointless. I simply don’t listen to this kinda stuff so my opinion on it truly doesn’t matter. It’s like asking a blind man to review outfits. This could be the best or worst music ever made within this genre and I’d have no clue. So, to all budding demo senders, take notice! I straight up don’t know what to say about this kinda shit. It’s okay…I think. I have no fucking clue.
Production:3 or 6 out of 10
Vocals(if applicable):N/A
Listenability:3 or 6 out of 10
Originality:1 or 10 out of 10? I have no fucking idea.

Artist: The Yes Yes Yalls
Song: 7000 (feat. Chuck Hammer

http://theyesyesyalls.com/track/7000-feat-chuck-hammer
I bet there are some dudes in glasses and “where’s waldo” hats doing some vicious shoe gazing dances to this right now. It’s certainly different than what I normally get so that’s nice. I like the drums. It’s recorded well. The actual music is okay (the mellow break towards the end is my favorite part) and the singing is decent. The song writing is decent as well. basically, this is okay but not really up my alley to begin with. Still, for what it is, it’s good. In fact, I can safely say it’s my favorite demo of this batch thus far. That’s not great achievement but it’s gotta count for something.
Production:6 out of 10
Vocals(if applicable):5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:6 out of 10

Artist: El Topo
Song: Bite the bullet

http://soundcloud.com/el_topo-2/bite-the-bullet-stbb209
This is a dope beat with a few faults. The drums are a tad thin and I don’t think it stands on it’s own as a song just cause you throw a vocal sample in the front. It needs more. That said, the sample work is excellent and subtle. Woulda been better with a rapper on it.
Production:6 out of 10
Vocals(if applicable):N/A
Listenability:6.5 out of 10
Originality:5 out of 10

Artist:Jamesy Downie
Song: Speak Easy

http://soundcloud.com/jamesy-downie/speak-easy

This is a cool beat and all but this isn’t “Let me review the beat you just finished”. Send me songs, goddamnit. Cool loop and the drums are okay (not great though). But it’s certainly a style that has been done to death.
Production:3 out of 10
Vocals(if applicable):N/A
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:2 out of 10

Artist: Fine Vinyl
Song: Thousand points of light

http://soundcloud.com/finevinyl/thousand-points-of-light

The whole thing seems off. The beat is kinda off key with itself and the rapper is very green ( and I don’t mean that he recycles). I can relate to this kind of rapping cause this is what every white dude who raps and wants to use a lot of words sounds like. It needs some serious refinement. The flow and voice are a long ways from being ready and they seem as if they’re trying to catch up with the lyrics. This is one of those cases where I’d hope this was just a hobby (which this totally sounds as if it is) cause the amount of work it might take the MC to become decent is terrifying.
Production:2 out 10
Vocals(if applicable):2 out of 10
Listenability:3 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Chazz
Song: Fragmented

http://soundcloud.com/imchazz/fragmented
This is pretty interesting. It’s got those “found sound” type of drums. Whenever I hear them I honestly don’t know how the producer made them. Musically it’s dense but not entirely interesting. Still, it’s pretty solid all around and you can tell the dude who made it is trying something different.
Production:6 out of 10
Vocals(if applicable):N/A
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
Originality:6 out of 10

Artist: Mark A Schwartz
Song: Simone

http://soundcloud.com/markaschwartz/simone
First off, props on the illest music name of all time.
Secondly, this may be before the producers time but that sample is pretty played outas it was the centerpiece to a classic underground hip hop joint…

Still, I can’t expect every producer to know every song. Basically, this is well made just not incredibly original. Take it from me, a dude who’s sampled Nina Simone a million times, it’s past the point where it’s okay. Hell, when I did it in 2003 it was questionable. Still, like I said, all that considered, this does show promise as someone who knows how to make a good song.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals(if applicable):N/A
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:2 out of 10

Now, you tell me which one you liked the most:

Ask Dr. Tony vol. 19


The Dr. is in.
If you have questions about your shitty loves lives you’d like me to answer, send them my way! Email me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. I’d advise to email me them though cause I’ve noticed when people leave them in the comments , my readers seem to think this is a great chance for them to dole out the advice and, to be honest, the last people you wanna take advice from are the people who leave comments on my blog. I love y’all but you motherfuckers are crazy.
Oh, and as always, let me just say that I’m not a licensed anything…I’m not a specialist. I’m just a guy who thinks he knows things and feels entitled to give you my advice. I’m a libra y’all! So there will always be a balance (if you believe in that kinda bullshit).
So, yeah, this is me helping you. YOU’RE WELCOME!

I’ve asked you many a question and you haven’t failed me yet. Here it is: i just moved to CA from AZ. Im dating a girl who i ADORE. I’m pretty much in love but i haven’t said anything because this girl “doesn’t want a relationship”. Im 98% sure its not cause she wants to date others; rather it’s cause she’s had a very rough summer (father dying, uncle dying, grandma sick). So i give her slack. Anyway, im going back to AZ next week for a friend’s wedding. And there’s a girl out there that wants to fuck. I kinda feel bad cause of my feelings for CA girl but i have no obligation to only be with one person-yet. Whatchu think?

You absolutely have no obligation to the other girl. You are free to do with your penis as you please until an official relationship been established. That doesn’t mean she needs or wants to know that. I’m assuming you’re young so my advice to you is to enjoy it while you can. Don’t prematurely tie yourself down based on what you think this relationship MIGHT become. I had a similar situation when I was younger that i still regret to this day.
I was 18 and had just left my first year of college. During my last week there, I hooked up with a girl who i had liked for the majority of the year. Problem was, I wasn’t going back to that school and she didn’t live anywhere near me. Basically, to any logical person, it was wrap. But I was in deep “sucker for love” mode back then and just kinda considered it to still be on the table. That summer I worked at a record store and one of my co-workers was this super hot girl who was very openly feeling me. I actually liked her too but my allegiance to the girl from college kept me from doing anything. Looking back, I wish someone would have smacked the shit out of me and put things into perspective cause me and that college girl saw each other only one more time after that and, obviously, it didn’t pan out.
So, do you. If it’s meant to be, you’ll be with this girl but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have fun in the meantime. Also, if you’re in that mode where you like her so much you’re not even looking at other girls, that that’s fine to. Don’t force yourself to have sex with other women. But don’t deprive yourself of anything either.

Hi,

I’m about to turn 30 and I’m looking forward to it and embracing it as a forced personal renaissance mile marker, why not. Having partied my way around the world in my 20s, I’m happy with what I’ve done and am ready to set some adult type goals. I’m looking forward to making and saving some real money to live more securely, and I’m really pushing myself to write creatively, my biggest goal. A couple of years ago I realized my pay the bills type work could be done online, and I left my college town and cubicle job and friends with mortgages and wandered abroad. Doing the digital nomad thing was stressful at times but so great, and now I’ve been in the same Latin city nearly 2 years and am feeling ready for a stable dude. So it’s weird that I’m good at these big ballsy things, because the biggest thing I can’t quite pull off is decent self esteem and the relationship to go with it. I’m a very tall woman and that always made me shy, but I’m also pretty hot. Like, if I make a good effort, really hot, and then I can get anything I want, tables at packed restaurants, front of the line, blah blah.

But it scares the shit out of me to attract any kind of attention, it has since I got hot in my teens. I let myself get fat and get acne through college to hide, and though I’ve gotten over that weirdness, I still prefer jeans and a tshirt. Adult dudes do not go for this, and can smell my insecurity and think it’s unreliability, which it’s not, I’m a good girlfriend. But people I’ve known for years will see me without glasses in a dress and be shocked. On several separate occasions, 30s/early 40s guys have given me non sleazy pep talks along the lines of–you so clearly don’t know what you have, you could get whatever you wanted if you learned to be confident. So I feel uncertain about how to be ok with some sexual attention, in the name of dating and kicking ass in general. Also, I’m only going to get older, I should be able to enjoy this while I can. But it’s hard to be looked at by strangers. I can’t really bring this up with many other girls without getting into eating disorder territory (not a problem I have), and when I’ve asked guy friends their response is basically, heavy is the head that wears the crown. I’ve dated good dudes in the past, but have been busy with my travels for awhile now. My parents weren’t around much when I was a kid, but I don’t have anything messed up to get over either. There’s no drama or trauma behind it.

In summary–how do you deal with attention, and what are your feelings on hotness and confidence?

Thanks,
C

So, just to be clear, you’re hot?
Cool. Just checking.
This is a strange question as I’m not a female who is hot. The type of attention i receive is wildly different than the type you’ve received. People either recognize me as “Blockhead” (this almost never happens , by the way) or they just take one look at me and think “Oh look, a white guy in his mid 30’s”. Not exactly rolling out the red carpet. So, for me to tell you how to deal with people being attracted to you? That’s a tough one. Deal with it. Enjoy it. It won’t always be there. You gotta understand that simply by being beautiful, you have the power. People are going to care more about what you say and do compared to your more homely counterparts. That’s just how it is. At the same time, you have to come to grips with the reality that a lot of these people treating you nicely have an agenda. Like all the males you know have told you, heavy is the head that wears the crown.
To be honest, you sound like a person who has been told your hot some many times that you’ve accepted it but I’m not 100% sure you actually believe it. This whole question reeks of insecurity. I don’t know if that’s cause you feel like you’re gonna be alone for the rest of your life or maybe you feel your personality doesn’t match your looks. Who knows? The hottest girls in the world are insecure about something. They just hide it better than others. Join the club.
I will say this, no dude is complaining about the girl who likes to wear jeans and a T-shirt. No guy is complaining about a hot girl who does it even more so. Like I said, you have the power. Guys will adhere to you.

Was wondering what are your thoughts on women using the “this is not a date” argument nowadays? It’s me and her, the attraction is there, the feelings are there, but most women consider it as “not a date”. i always found it kinda weird.

That’s just them setting up boundaries. Perhaps even them trying to manage any expectations you might have. Sure, the attraction may be there but you also may be kinda sleazy and trying too hard to get them drunk. They might sense that and just wanna establish a definitive “We may be flirting and you may think this is going somewhere in particular but don’t get your hopes up , dude” kinda vibe.
On the other hand, it could also be like that thing girls do when they go home with and say “You know we’re not having sex, right?” which is code for “You know we’re having sex, right? Just don’t think I’m a big slut about it”.
Between those two options, I’d honestly say it’s more likely the former that’s going on. I can’t say I’ve been out with many girls in my life who went out of their way to declare what was going on in a negative kinda way. In my eyes, if a girl said that, it would be her pumping the break a little. Even if it said in a coy manner, perhaps you’re coming on a little strong. Ease up on the cologne , bro.

Why are women so batshit crazy… creatures who actions are based nowhere upon any logical schema I can deduce.

I was dating a girl about 6 months ago and she got flighty because we were both moving. Starting something new with an expiration date is always tough and I understood. What I didn’t understand was why she broke the news to me via email and went directly to no-contact. I’ve done the no contact thing before, but only because it was necessary (stalkers, crazy crazy bitches, etc.) We had a good thing, it was just a bad time. Life/lemons.

Anyway, about a month ago we had both made our moves and I had a few whiskeys and decided to send her a text just to see how everything was going for her once she moved. That turned into us sending some emails, then a few phone conversations, then she flew out to the middle of nowhere to visit me for a long weekend, a concert, and some hiking/backpacking. She apologized for being immature and not handling me and the situation right the first go around… an apology which lasted about 20 minutes and I couldn’t get her to shut up. The rest of the weekend was awesome, we were physically inseperable, talking about me moving out to where she is a.s.a.p…. if there was a perfect weekend (at least for me) it was probably it. She invited me to visit her in a few weeks which sounded good to me, she was already planning the trip and where to go. She texts me when she lands and then the next morning using pet names and how she misses me already…. then she fucking did it again…back with the no contact. Its been 7 days, she didnt return my phone call we scheduled when she left, she didnt respond to the text i sent 4 days later making sure she was ok.

What the fuck, boss? Her flying out here to visit, her apologizing, her saying everything shy of I love you and then disappearing? I just don’t get it.

I don’t know if all women being crazy can be attributed to this one girl. I mean, trust me, I know where you’re coming from but it sounds to me that this girl is just flighty in general. Dating a fickle girl will ruin your fucking soul. Long distance relationships will also ruin your soul. I’d say this has more to do with those two things as well as that she’s immature and doesn’t know how to communicate.

My guess would be that she has/had real feelings for you that you stirred up when you started texting again. Then when you guys spent the weekend together, she dove in head first (as flighty people tend to do withe everything). After that, she went home and probably realized the reality of the distance and she freaked out about it. Thus opting to just drop the whole thing cause she didn’t feel like dealing with it. Some people just choose to shut down , rather than deal with things where they’re going to ahve to hurt people. The fucked up this is they don’t realize that, by not communicating, they’re hurting the person way more that way. It’s some pussy shit for sure.

So, it could be that OR there’s another guy at home and his proximity>>>>>the love you two share. You never know.

So really, she’s far more inconsiderate than she is lacking in logic. In fact, pulling away from a long distance relationship is pretty fucking logical. But ask yourself this: Do you want to be with someone who’s both inconsiderate and flighty? I wouldn’t. In fact, those are two qualities I would avoid as much as possible. Trust me, you do not want to seriously date a girl like that. You’ll be in a padded cell within a few months.