Answers for questions vol. 8


Oh shit! A storms comin’! If you’re like me, on the east coast, you’re either riding a gnarly wave to the supermarket or awaiting hurricane sandy with a cupboard full of rice and beans. To all those out there, good luck…I hope to see you all in a few days when this is over.
anyway, assuming you don’t get washed away (of you don’t live anywhere near where this hurricane is), send me more questions. Email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. Do it. Do it right.

Is it wrong to completely be turned off by someone who listens to shitty music? Being a musician, do you think there needs to be some common ground on musical taste? I was dating a girl who only listened to country music, after a month of being subjected to that, and shitty reality tv (literally that’s all she watches), I had to call it quits. Not to mention she’s a 21 year old virgin, is uber religious and wasn’t dtf. Am I the asshole for having such refined taste?

I’d be way more turned off by the religion than the music taste. At least you can turn music off. I don’t think sharing musical tastes is crucial to relationships but it doesn’t hurt. It’s cool to be able to turn your girl onto cool music and vice versa but, at the same time, the last thing I’d ever want in a relationship is a girl who wants to talk about rap with me all day. That would be torture.
I’d say, Ideally, you and girl should share some taste but ultimately are into some different shit. Like if she likes classic rock and you like hip hop…that’s fine. Country music might be stretching it though and that girl you dated sounds more like a case of her being a fucking moron than her simply having bad taste in things.

So I am a big fan of both Anthony Burgess’s book and Stanley Kubrick’s adaptation “A Clockwork Orange.” I recently watched it with my older sister who is 24 and was bothered by the fact that she could only view the film as “disturbing and detestable.” She was mostly reacting to Alex Delarge’s “Ultraviolence” when him and his gang of toothless grinning bulldogs took to the streets, But I still find it irritating that she could not identify any of the underlying concepts the movie was trying to present. So I guess my question is do you think A Clockwork Orange has relevant concepts? and do you like personally? I also want to say that Alex Delarge might be the greatest charismatic villain ever.

I’m a big fan of that movie. And, instead of answer your question about it’s theme (as it seems like a film class test question and I honestly haven’t seen the movie recently enough to get that deep into it) I’d just like to comment more on the problem you’re speaking on where people can’t separate being disturbed by a movie and the quality of the film itself. One of my sisters is like that and it’s drives me insane. We’ll see an obviously well made movie and she’ll say it’s awful cause it made her feel uncomfortable…when that’s what it was supposed to do!
I saw “The Master” recently. I left kinda confused. I didn’t love it, had no urge to ever watch it again but I was also well aware that it was a very well made movie with some great performances in it. It sounds to me that your older sister is a lot like my older sister. My advice would be to simply learn to never discuss movies with her cause you will be infuriated constantly.

Do you collect a bunch of samples (like loops) and save them till it’s beat making time, or do you dig through different records during the beat making process?
I used to do it the latter way but , over the last 5 years I’ve organized my sampling much more cause I gotta keep track of what I use. Nowadays, I go through all the albums I have, mark off the songs that have possible samples on them, mark what the samples are (what instruments), if they’ve drums in them, and if they’re the type of sample I might use as a main part or a layer. Then, when I sit down to make a beat, I sift through them and just find things I might need. For instance, say I have a foundation laid and I need something to layer over the main sample, I’ll find anything with horns in it and go through those sounds. It’s definitely some OCD shit but it’s made beat making so much more efficient for me.

Thoughts on straight dudes with a very gay sense of humor. What I mean by that is my two best friends and I have always been very close, and often find it funny to talk about how hard we would blow each other if x happens, if you do this I’m gonna do that to your ass, nut shots, ass grabbing, texting pics of gay dudes fucking etc. We are all straight, and have no actual interest in fucking each other. Is that a common theme among guys?

Hmm…well, i think that , especially with white dudes, inside gay jokes are fairly normal. But I think there is a line where it’s just kinda weird. Like saying crazy shit to each other is pretty typical. Nut shots are less normal but not unusual. Ass grabbing? Hmmm….I don’t know about that. Do you also wrestle naked and laugh hysterically while you put each others penises in your mouths?
But , really, i draw the line with the texting of gay porn. I get texting each other ridiculous pictures that may be gross but just a normal scene pic from a gay porn? I don’t know what the point of that is.
So, to answer your question, i think elements of what you and your friends do are very normal but the lengths that you guys take it is not. Don’t be surprised if one of you guys comes out down the line and the rest of you feel like you’ve been takn advantage of. Props to that guy , though. He got you motherfuckers good.

Dear Readers Spoiler Alert if you haven’t caught up with Boardwalk Empire end of Season 2 Dear Block ,what is you’re opinion on Jimmy being killed? And now bringing in this Self Asphyxiation crazed lunatic as the new criminal mind trying to be Boss?

I thought killing jimmy was a strong move. I like the direction that HBO has been going with their shows lately where no one is sacred. As for the new villain, I fucking love him. Gyp is the best. He’s hilarious, over the top and slightly dumb. All those things make for a far more interesting character than Jimmy ever was, in my opinion.

What’s your take on married couples in their 30′s with young kids who always go out to clubs together every weekend, and asking grandparents or babysitters to always watch their kids? Are these people not being responsible parents, or should they be given a break because it’s just what they enjoy doing?

I’m at that age where I have a good amount of friends who have young kids. You know what they don’t do? Go clubbing. I mean, to each his own but , it would appear, that most responsible people have a switch get flicked once they have kids that tells them the partying is over. This isn’t to say they can never go out. In fact, when they cut loose, they REALLY cut loose. But this can’t be a regular thing. for one, they’re too tired all the time but, more importantly, the desire to live that lifestyle is no longer there. We all like to party but once you are responsible for the life of another, that shit’s got to take a back seat. I think that’s an unspoken part of having a kid. A life choice adults make when they decide to bring a person into this world. It’s different for young parents but for parents in their 30’s? It’s not a good look.
I often tweet little things about young moms at the club and , without fail, a few people will get defensive about how they can balance those lifestyles. My point in all this is not that you can’t but more that you shouldn’t really have an urge to. You got a kid now. Get your fucking life together. Doing molly at a club till 6 am is now something you USED to do. Now go feed your crying child, you piece of shit.

More Animals eating animals

I wrote these clips up a few weeks ago (peep it HERE)and the final two installments have been posted. In case you missed it, this is a show where two adventurous eaters go around NYC eating shit that might make you not hungry…or it might give you a cuisine boner. I’m a big fan of eating and shows about eating and these clips are really cool and well made. Figured I’d spread the word in hopes that these shorts become a full fledged show one day. pass it on, yo!

Animals Eating Animals: Episode 5 from ANIMALNewYork.com on Vimeo.

Animals Eating Animals: Episode 6 from ANIMALNewYork.com on Vimeo.

Song of the day 10/26/12


Down and Out By Cam’ron
http://www.divshare.com/download/20202880-855

Last week I went on Cam’ron listening binge. I dunno what made it happen but his music had a renaissance in my Ipod.
I’d say there are a few ways to look at Cam. He’s either straight up great OR awesomely ridiculous and hilarious, both on purpose and accidentally OR he’s terrible . Now, when the people who feel the latter way are confronted with any of his music words like “real hip” and “Boom bap” seem to get thrown around as a way to disprove Cam’s worth as an MC. In my eyes, that’s a shame. Not cause Cam is the next coming of Rakim but cause those people who write him off are overlooking some of the facets that make a rapper great that Cam has more than his share of. Sure, he may not rap thought provoking lyrics with an intricate flow but he’s got presence, confidence , and an abstract creativity like few other rappers before or after him. It’s a shame that his topics and viewpoints are such a turn off to some cause I feel as if people are missing out. His run of music in the early 2000’s was awesome. Highly ignorant, negatively influential to all the rappers around him but awesome nonetheless.
He literally had little kids in the hood wearing huge pink t-shirts. CAM POPULARIZED PINK AS A COLOR CHOICE FOR MEN. He was gaudy, obnoxious, over the top and everything else…but , more than anything, he was clever. This song is my favorite example of that. It’s a album track off his peak achievement “Purple haze”. I was planning to write out some quotes on here but there are so many I don’t even know where to start.
Yes, many of you will not like this. Some of you might even be offended by it. I get it, you’re most likely fans of my music. It’s not like I have much in common with Killa Cam musically. I just ask you listen to it with an open mind. Also, the last 2 verses are pretty much two of my favorite verses he ever kicked.

Fuck/Marry/Kill 16


What up. It’s about that time again where I pretend to fuck, marry and kill people are are far more rich and famous than I will ever be. Payback? Not really. Just a really fun way to pass time. As always, take it with a grain of salt and know I don’t really want to marry or kill any of these people. I’d fuck a few of them though…

F/M/K: Kristen Stewert, Condoleeza Rice, Betty White

Kill: Betty White

I mean…come on. The whole world loves Betty White. She’s somehow made it back into the public eye at age 142 and that’s great. But in a game of F/m/k? Her dying would just be the slightest acceleration of the process ever. She’s pretty much there already. This is a slam dunk of murder , if there ever was one.

Fuck: Condoleeza Rice

This was actually harder than it should of been. On one hand, you got Kristen Stewart who is obviously the hottest of these three and she’s also the youngest by like 5 decades. But I kinda hate her face…At the same time, I don’t exactly want to marry or fuck Condoleeza. So, in this case, I’m taking the short term bullet and throwing it in Condo once. Which isn’t that bad cause she’s what you’d consider an attractive older women. But often that means “She’s good looking for someone I’m not attracted to in the slightest bit due to how old they are”. So, a one and done with her would have to do.

Marry: Kristen Stewart

Pretty obvious. She may be an awful person (I have no idea, I just know she’s an actress so there’s a very good chance that’s true) but she’s head and shoulders above either of these other two in all physical categories. If this was fuck/Bake me a pie/kill or /fuck/explain how a white house meeting works/kill it would be a different story, but I’m afraid I’m always gonna have to go with the sure thing where marriage is concerned. Besides, I’d cheat on her with no qualms cause she totally has it coming.

Arianna Huffington, Rachel Maddow, and Katie Couric.

Marry:Rachel Maddow

I’mma let you guys who always submit lesbians to this game in on a little secret, I’ll almost always pick the lesbian for marriage. Why? Well, for one, I get along great with most lesbians. But , more importantly, marrying a lesbian would basically just be like having a new roommate and I would simply live my life out as a single guy. When faced with the other two options, it’s a no brainer. Rachel and I would live a long and loving life of passing each other in the living room saying “What up!” as we both went our own ways and did whatever the fuck we wanted.

Fuck: Katie Couric

There’s not a bone(r) in my body that wants to really wants to have sex with Katie Couric (Young Couric though was probably hooooooot)but between her and the woman with the accent like a nazi movie villain (I realize she’s not german , calm down), it’s not a hard choice. Couric isn’t unattractive at all. She’s simply a little past her prime. So, sure, I think I could do that. I’m pretty sure the sex would be pretty lame but , hey, it wouldn’t be the first time. Not to mention, the after sex interview would be intense.

Kill: Arianna Huffington

I actually kinda like her and 30 years ago, I’d bet she was pretty hot. But, to be honest, she’s just too old and her accent doesn’t hit my ears right. I’ve never been a guy who was into girls cause of their accents. I barely can handle someone with a midwest twang, let alone someone with a vaguely greek/german sounding one. I mean, there are certain types of accents that are sexier than others but, unfortunately, hers sounds like someone who would aggressively sell me Baklava on the street. So, my apologies to her and RIP.

F/M/K Funny chicks named Jen style: Jenna Marbles, Jenny McCarthy, Jennifer Aniston.

Fuck: Jennifer Aniston

Sorry, I just watched “Horrible bosses” the other day and Aniston’s body is completely out of control. She was made for the “fuck” portion of this game. She was also made to never be married so that’s there too. Seriously, I realize she must work out like a maniac 7 days a week but , holy shit, has it paid off. She’s over 40!!!! She’s what a mother of two in her mid 30’s must look at and make that women just want to kill her. Fortunately for Jen, this is my game of F/m/k and not that mother of two.

Kill: Jenny MCcarthy

This was a tough one. There was a time (namely my late teens) when Jenny MCcarthy was the end all of hot women. I had her playboy issues, I watched “Single’d out” and I even stick by my guns in saying her short lived MTV sketch comedy show was actually pretty decent. That said, it’s clear that I’m an agist. She’s still pretty hot but she’s not quite keeping up with Aniston (who at that age is ,though?). And I don’t really wanna marry her as she’s kinda crazy. So, it’s with great sadness that I would be forced to put her down.

Marry: Jenna Marbles

This could go terribly but I’m rolling the dice with Marbles. For one, she’s younger. Secondly, she’s somewhat funny. Those two things work well for me in this equation. What doesn’t work well is that she’s got a thick midwestern accent. But, I’d imagine I could get over that. Also, Funny girls are often not very sexy but I can’t really call it with her. But i do appreciate a girl who doesn’t take herself too seriously so I’d pretty much just cross my fingers and hope for the best with this one.
I realize many of you have no clue who this person is, so here’s a taste:

Hmm..upon watching this video…I think I made a mistake with this choice…but whatever…

F/m/k: “I’m Bad” LL Cool J, “Deep Blue Sea” LL Cool J, “NCIS” LL Cool J

Kill: NCIS LL Cool J

For off, let me say this is one of those metaphorical rounds. I’m not fucking or marrying any version of LL Cool J but I think whoever submitted this wanted me to review these three stages of LL’s life in an abstract way. So this is that.
Obviously, I’m killing off the actor that is LL cool J. He sucks at acting. He always has, he always will. He make Ice-T look like Daniel Day Lewis. Sorry bro…I wish someone had killed his acting career years ago.

Marry: I’m bad LL cool J

Obviously. This was LL when had slightly matured from his “radio” days and took that next big step. He was a force to be reckoned with back then and , even crazier, he had another good 6 or so years after this. That’s longer than most marriages.

Fuck: Deep Blue Sea LL Cool J

Quite possibly the worst song and video of all time. So much so, that it laps around being bad into simply being hilarious. For that reason, I’d have sex with it. I have many fond memories of clowning this song and video when i was younger and , by all means, I would make love to those thoughts. Also, it’s the basis for one of my favorite unmade parody songs. The hook on his song goes “Deepest, bluest, my hat is like a sharks fin” and I always wanted to make “Cheapest, jewish, my penis has no foreskin”.
Weird Al, if you’re reading, go nuts with that one.

The soft “a” is crucial

all-i-said-was-nigga_o_1364965
As a white dude who is a rap fan, I’ve always had a strange relationship with the word “nigga”. Not to be confused with it’s cousin word with a harder “r” sound ,with whom I’ve had a much more defined relationship with. Obviously, we’ve never been close.
But with “nigga” ,I’ve never been one to use it. It just never felt right coming out of my mouth. Aside from the more obvious social reasons, I don’t speak with a particularly affected twang so to say something like “Yo, nigga, could you please pass me the soy sauce” wouldn’t really make sense or benefit anything. Besides, even if i were to harmlessly indulge in saying it, you never know who you’re going to accidentally offend by doing so. It just never seemed worth it.
That said, over the course of my life it has been a word that I’ve heard with great frequency. Both in music and in life. So i figured it would be fun to look back at some funny moments with that word and how it relates to a fairly normal , yet self aware white dude from a city.

1)The first time I got called a nigga
Blame my bohemian upbringing or being from a melting pot type city but I literally didn’t hear a white person refer to a black person in a derogatory fashion (in person) until I left New York. It wasn’t till I went to school in Boston that i heard someone refer to a black guy as a “nigger” and mean it. It was done in such a matter of fact way I was just kinda speechless. It was also done in that bitch ass , wink wink, nudge nudge kinda way as if to say “Hey, we’re both white here, right?”.
As clearly as i remember that moment with great disdain, I’ll never forget the first time a black guy called me “nigga” with great fondness.
As a young rap white rap fan in the early 90’s, there wasn’t much happening to make us feel good about ourselves (and rightfully so…after all, we were white). The beastie boys and 3rd bass were the beginning and end of it. Not to mention, it was a time period when a good deal of my favorite rap was highly afrocentric/pro-black. Groups like X-Clan, Poor righteous Teachers, King Sun and even the friendly Native tongue crew all wore africa medallions and spoke of things that I , as a white guy, could only examine from outside the bubble. So suffice to say, I looked at these guys with great admiration but also with an understanding that I’d never truly be like them no matter how hard i tried. I’d like to think most white kids my age during that time had that revelation but judging from how most of the kids I went to high school acted, they didn’t figure it out until they were in their twenties.
So, realizing that I could never really be down, i simply didn’t try too hard. I just listened to the music fiendishly and that was that. Still, that want to be accepted never really died.
One day, I was walking down the street with a basketball , on my way to the park to go shoot around. I was passing by west 4th street (which is a highly populated area in greenwich village). Out of the sea of bodies I heard someone saying “ay yo nigga! Yo…Nigga!”. It sounded like it was aimed at me but, obviously, that wouldn’t make much sense so I kept moving.
“Yo, nigga! Yo, white boy with that basketball!” I turned around.
“Lemme see that ball for a second”.
I was kind of in shock. I hope I didn’t but I may have been making a face like someone being picked as a pageant winner. On some “You mean MEEEEE?!?!?!” shit. He was a slightly bummy looking black dude in his early 30’s who was sitting in a fold out beach chair he had placed on the side of the street. Seemed harmless enough so I tossed him the ball. He stood up, dribbled it for 5 seconds and threw it back to me.
“Good looking out, nigga”
and that was that.
I remember walking towards the courts feeling like I was slightly different. Like i had passed a authenticity test or something. In hindsight, I was far from special as I imagine that guy is the type to call inanimate objects nigga but still, at that time, I was on cloud 9.

2)Mcdonalds
I don’t know if this will translate when written out but I’mma give it a shot.
I was about 19 and high as a person could be. My 4 friends and I had smoked a few blunts and were now floating around the city like the walking dead in search for any food we could stuff in our high mouths. We landed at a McDonalds…which was fine as I was 19 and ate that kinda shit like 4 times a week. High as hell, we all lined up and ordered food the only way high people do. Slowly and like complete fucking idiots. The girl behind the counter was a portly Puerto rican lady in her early 20’s who was obviously amused with the looming group of stoned white guys. We were actually chatting her up a bit and , seemingly, made a new friend. As the order came to a close , all our food was bagged up and ready to go when she said “Oh, Yall niggas want sauce?”
Again, we were SO high. As soon as that sentence came out of her mouth we all just kinda looked at each other like “did she really just refer to us as “niggas”?” That same excitement I felt when that dude in the lawn chair had said it to me was palpable in the room. This was followed by 5 stoned people trying to contain laughter while also trying to procure some of that delicious sauce she was offering. We politely accepted and got out of there as soon as possible so we could guffaw hysterically. To this day, any time I go into a McDonalds or am with any of those friends from that night, that sentence still runs through my head.

3) So puerto ricans can say it?
That was the thought i had the first time I heard a Puerto rican dude say “nigga” without flinching. It was in front of black dudes who didn’t flinch as well. I remember thinking “Why do they get a pass”? It’s safe to so that I was pretty young at the time and didn’t understand a lot of things.
That’s how I learned, in many cases, the people who use it aren’t always about race as they are about location. If you’re black and I’m dominican and we grew up in the same hood with the same friends using that word , it’s just gonna become a part of the vernacular. Teenaged me would have tried to rationalize that it’s wrong of them to say it but, really, who gives a shit? I would never want to take that gift away from the likes of Fat Joe and Beatnuts. And I’d say that same privilege extends to white dudes who grew up around minorities who used the word with great frequency. At least, from what I’ve seen it has.

4)The first time I heard a white dude say “Nigga”.

It’s slightly more common now to hear a white guy say that word. At least in certain circles. But 15 years ago, it wasn’t a thing white guys did. And if they did do it, they did it selectively and with an air of discomfort. Like they so desperately want to be down enough to say it but , deep down, in their hearts they know they probably shouldn’t be saying it.
Around 97/98, I met this dude. I don’t wanna say his real name, as we are still buddies, so let’s call him Bob. Upon first glance, Bob was a wigger of Danny Hoch proportions. Like he was a cartoon version of a wigger. Just being in a room with him, I heard him dropping “Nigga” a dozen times over the course of an hour. But he was doing it amongst a very racially mixed crowd with a comfort level I had never seen before. I had just seen him out a few times , as he was friends with some friends of mine but my initial reaction was that he was a clown.
Flash to a few weeks later and we’re actually hanging out. Turns out, he’s not only an intelligent guy but he’s also hilarious and genuinely good person. This blew my mind. He was a little younger than me but hearing a white guy shamelessly say “nigga” without pulling back was some next level shit. I didn’t really agree with it but I couldn’t help but admire his balls (pause).
Now whether you think it’s right or wrong for any white guy to throw that word around is on you. I certainly understand how that could rub all sorts of people the wrong way. But , much like the girl at McDonalds and the guy in the lawn chair, a lot of how we should accept words is in the intention of how they’re used. Basically, what I’m saying is that it’s okay to be offended by this kinda thing but don’t ever become one of those assholes who overlooks context and intent of how words are used. Bob meant no harm. It was just a word that got engrained in his vocabulary. For better or worse.

5)Overhearing people use the word “nigga” is the best Not to be confused with overhearing people use the word” Nigger” which is the worst…

These are a few things I’ve tweeted in the past after just overhearing people say thing literally like 5 feet from the door of my home:
“I love that I can walk 2 steps out of my building & overhear a guy call his friend an “easy bake oven ass nigga”. New York is the best.”

“Just overheard the sentence “yo, but this nigga DR. Phil got next though”. Trying to imagine a context where that statement makes sense.”

6)”Nigga” is anything
There are different levels of the way people use that word. Obviously WHO is using it is very important so let’s just assume, for these examples, I’m referring to non-whites using this word.
To some, it’s only used to get a point across like “You better give me back my game of thrones box set or there’s gonna be trouble, nigga!”
To others, it’s completely off limits.
But to others, it’s as engrained in their vocabulary as the word “Like” is for valley girls. It can be referring to a table “I banged my knee on that nigga the other day and it still hurts”. It can be referring to a female. Anyone who’s seen porn where the dude is calling the girl he’s fucking “nigga” can attest to that. However, my favorite of all is when it’s referring to animals. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a flock of sheep in europe and heard a dude say “look at all those niggas go…”. As offensive as this word can be to some people, to others it simply means anything. But, more directly, it means a person. I’ve been called a “white nigga” more times than I can count and , in all those situations, it wasn’t used negatively or positively. It was simply a description. As in, we’re playing basketball , I’m the only white guy and a guy on the other team tells his teammate to guard “that white nigga”. 16 year old me would be in heaven over the entire exchange but , in reality, it meant nothing. It’s just a word some people use. The only confusion about it, really, is who can and cannot use it. Clearly, I’m not the judge and jury for that case. No one person is. Thus, I suppose , it’s just on a person to person basis. But, whatever you do, always remember to never drop it with the hard “R”. I’m looking at you Mitt Romney.

Answers for questions vol. 107


What up. Welcome to another edition of that thing where i answer that question you have. Will it ever end? I hope not. I need the blog content. Speaking of which, send me more questions. Leave them in the comments below or email me them at phatfriendblog@gmail.com. Don’t be shy. I’m an open book (mostly).
Anyway, here’s this weeks batch. The last one officially wins the award for dumbest question ever. But as there are no bad questions, well done, sir.

A few months back I saw you Tweet with Aesop about a David Blaine experience you had back in the day. It sounded like he kinda freaked you out which is understandable b/c that dude is a fucking weirdo. When I saw your funny David Blaine Facebook post this morning it reminded me to ask what happened when you met him?

Oh. Okay, this was so long ago I was still rapping. So we’re talking like 97ish. My group, The Overground, was playing a show at some now closed shithole venue on Houston St. called “The Spiral”. Our shows would go one of two ways: We’d play for 7 people or we’d play for like 30. The Spiral was tiny enough that 30 seemed like a great night. Regardless of how many people were there, we always sucked and the whole area in front of the stage would be cleared out like a murder scene. Anyway, this one night, we had one of our more well attended shows. My boy Chase Phoenix would rap on a few of our songs so he was usually in attendance. He knew this dude Cassidy who was good friends with an “up and coming magician” named David Blaine. Now, hearing someone being referred to as an “up and coming magician” was as comical as it sounds. None of us had any idea who he was but you can be sure we all thought that concept of a dude who’s blowing up off card tricks was about as cool as that up and coming librarian we had been hearing so much about.
We did the show. It went as well as that crap could have gone I guess. Afterwards, everyone was chilling by the bar getting drunk. And Blaine was walking around the room doing card tricks for people. I was rolling my eyes from afar cause, you know, it’s fucking card tricks. He seemed to be doing really well with them though as people (especially girls) were quite fascinated by this up and coming star of the dark arts.
Eventually, he comes to where I’m sitting with a few people and asks if we wanna see a trick. We all say yes and he began doing tricks to each person who was there. I gotta admit, I was somewhat impressed as they were not the typical “guess my card” bullshit. He got to me and I’m sure my face still read as skeptical. In fact, I distinctly recall sharing a silent moment of him looking at me and vice versa wher ethere’s no way he couldn’t read my expression as anything but “Okay bro, do your little card trick for me”. He handed me an unopened deck of cards (still in the wrapper) and said in his monotone voice “Think of a card…but not the ace of spades. That’s what everyone thinks of…”
So, I thought of something random like the 5 of clubs. He then told me to unwrap the pack and hand it back to him and adamantly told me not to tell anyone what card I was thinking of. Instead, write it down on a piece of napkin and hold onto it myself. I did so , making sure to hide what I was writing from anywhere he could possibly see it. I was definitely trying my hardest to not make his trick go over. I handed him back the pack and he flipped open the cardboard top. He didn’t remove the cards. He just held it open there staring at me with those weird ass raccoon eyes of his. He then flicked the bottom of the card case and one card popped up. Yup. It was my fucking card. The joy he must have felt to see my smug, non-believing ass face change to “Wait a second…get the fuck outta hereeeeeee!”.
Suffice to say, since that day, I’ve been convinced that if Jesus ever came back, he’d probably be a magician.

I really appreciate your point of view and music. That being said, I could use some perspective.
I recently (past two years) just flipped a bitch with my life. I went from studying art and percussion and devoting my free time to everything related, to working for land conservation agencies and studying Wildlife Ecology. I literally have done a 3 mile hike to remove a barbed wire fence from a sensitive ecosystem while wearing chucks. Anyways. It’s safe to say that I love the outdoors and I can kick it out of my tent for pretty long periods of time (5 months being the longest) but all of my artistic ability has suffered. My paradiddles are starting to sound like a person trying to masturbate with a broken hand. Before I was doing pretty well in school, probably because liberal arts papers can be bull shited and lab reports cannot, and now I’m struggling with the first fraction of my semester. I regularly question whether or not I should do what comes natural (reading art blogs, drinking coffee, and playing music) or do what I believe the world needs (also have a guarantee of a salary from the National Parks Service..) Should I just (wo)man-up and do it all?

As a musician, I will tell you that it’s very hard to procure a future making music. Because of that, I will always advise a person to do the other thing. Whatever it is. It could be saving the world or it could be working in an office where you get health insurance. Stability is underrated and hard to come by these days. The thing about art is that it’s always there. If you do it cause you love it, though you may get rusty, you can always pick it up again. Ideally, you could get on a career path and that will open up time for you to do both. So, my advice would be to save the world now and do art later. To be honest, both can be pretty fruitless and frustrating but at least you can make enough money to eat a few meals a day when you’re saving the world.
That’s not a given with art and music. Just ask every waiter you know.

Mister Blockhead
I am a New Zealander.
Apparantly many people believe New Zealand is a place where sheep=automobile, singlet and gumboots=well dressed and grass paddock=nightclub.
My questions: have you ever been to New Zealand? and if you had a choice, would you rather be picked up from Auckland airport and taken to a venue in Downtown Auckland, to perform to a crowd of humans with differing levels of wideness in the eye area, wearing jeans of assorted bagginess, OR ride a sheep to a paddock, to do a show stemming from a multi-box plugged in a cow milking shed, infront of some drunken farmers wearing singlets and gumboots somewhere between Taupo and Turangi?

I have never been to New Zealand. Though I hear it’s very nice there. I have been to Australia though, and I loved it (I know New Zealanders hate when you add that on to this question but I couldn’t resist).
As for the question, the obvious choice is the first one. I don’t think I’ve ever been put in a situation where I’ve been forced to play for local farmhands but I can’t imagine it would go over too well. What kind of music do they even listen to? In my mind, that music involves the sounds of rubberbands being pulled and maybe syncopated pig slaughter.

So I have a question that you have touched on briefly, but it would be great if you could greatly elaborate on the subject. As much as possible anyway. At one point you had mentioned your position on people charging artists to record them, master their tracks, produce beats, etc etc and how you didn’t think anyone had any business charging until either side was making some money at doing so. Well I’ve been trying to get something recorded lately, and have spoken to a few people about it and all of them have basically asked me if I am prepared to pay them for it. I find this hilarious because none of them that I have really inquired about recording me have proper studios, and don’t really have any significant following. Granted they may record themselves and have some DECENT recording, but its not like they are pulling worthwhile crowds or are known to any significant extent. Basically, I want you to go at this subject, if you would. From all the angles: MC’s, Producers, Mixing/Mastering, Studio Time, you name it… I would like you to comment on all of it since you make a living off of music. So are these assholes out of their minds or what? Everyone thinks they are worth money because they have USB mics and some kind of platform to record on, and its time this shit got set straight cause its getting out of hand. Please, let these fuckers know.

Yes, I’m just buying a mic and recording myself but the reason I wanted to get recorded by someone else is it would be nice to cultivate a relationship with someone who’s work I have faith in and work on stuff together but as soon as one of these boobs (yes, I said boob, because I feel like that is more insulting then the overused douche bag) tries to charge me for their unproven skills, I laugh in their fucking face and remind them they are no one special and probably never will be if they are trying to charge people that are on the same level as them, neither of which are making any REAL money yet from music.

Man, that question could have been like one paragraph…people reading this, use this as a “how not to” question. Just make your point and get tot the heart of the matter.
To answer it,
The only reason you shouldn’t have to pay people to do studio work is if they’re your friends. If you’re using them for a service, you pay them for that service. The only exception is using peoples beats. Some producers will just give beats away cause it’s no big deal and it can’t hurt. I think that’s where you misunderstood my initial point. To be clear:
If two people are both equally not famous, I don’t see a point in either of them charging each other for music. Be it the rapper or the producer. Friend of acquaintance. That’s called collaborating. It’s also the most efficient way to get these types of things done. If the producer has a studio and you’re using his beats, i’d say it’s not crazy to expect to do it for free as you’re both involved.
However,
If this is about recording, mixing or any of the laborious aspects of making music, and that person isn’t you’re close buddy (and isn’t involved in the creative process), then you gotta pay. Some people may be cool about not taking money as it’s just experience but you can’t expect that. That said, if they’re just some dude with protools and a mike, it should be pretty fucking cheap.

this is mostly a food related question, or series of questions. i’m from chicago, and we put giardiniera on everything pretty much. i went to philly, and asked for giardiniera on my bmt at subway and they looked at me like i was crazy. or speaking a foreign language, which i guess i was. but no one else in philadelphia knew what i was talking about. so my (first) question is, with nyc being guido as fux, do you have/know what giardiniera is? or is this so called italian topping another chicago ethnic creation like the italian beef or jibaritos. in which case i feel sorry for the world. second question, why the hell would you put saurkraut on a hot dog? ew. or is that just a myth.

First off, Nyc is far from guido as fux. Manhattan, itself, is pretty much devoid of that type in general. Almost all the guido’s you might see here are exported from the outer boroughs , jersey and long island. That said , I’m not italian and don’t know what goes on in that world so there’s a good chance they know what that shit is.
I have never heard of Giardiniera. The fact you were able to spell it right in the question so many times is actually really impressive. I’m sure it delicious though cause you chicago heads are no joke when it comes to making heart stopping yet tasty spin offs of sausage.

As for the saurkraut , some people do that. I don’t…but many other do. But don’t you guys no put ketchep and mustard on your hot dogs? That’s crazy talk right there. That shit is delicious.

Yo Block! Have you ever considered what would you do if you were gay? Please specify two scenarios:
1. still working in music industry: would you make country, dubstep, be in a boysband or something else?
2. non-music industry: would you be hair-stylist, work in fashion industry, sell hot-dogs ot sth else?

Man, not a day goes by when I don’t consider life as a gay man. Think of all the perks!

Seriously though, this may be the dumbest question I’ve ever gotten (I’m not even mad about it though cause i appreciate every question i get). I mean, holy shit dude…have you met a gay person before? They aren’t like a different species of human. Yu might as well have asked me what I’d do if I was a dog for a day.
So, to answer your questions:
1)Because there is no way on earth a gay person could make the kind of music I make,obviously, I’d be in a band that’s music is made up entirely of the sound pounding assholes. It would be a chorus of skin slapping and deep, guttural grunts. Perhaps I’d be the Fred Schneider of the group and just scream little catch phrases in the background.

2) I don’t think I’d work. I’d just sit around thinking of all the hot boys I wanna have sex with. I mean, how do gay people ever work jobs when there are soooooo many hot guys out there? I bet walking down the street is hell for them…boners everywhere. Gays…how do they do it? Because of this, I’d probably stay indoors all day. Maybe knitting or baking tiny cupcakes. If not for any other reason then to quell my deep, dark uncontrollable gay urges.

(I shouldn’t have to clarify that I’m kidding here but you’d be amazed how often people don’t “get” the most obvious shit…Just preempting the “blockhead is a homophobe!” backlash from that one person out there who doesn’t understand how jokes work.)